#johnnepeta

@sunpops12 @reallycoolsoup 

this is the closest they’ve interacted in canon which is really sad 

AA: she l00ks in the mirr0r* hi!

EB: i need to ask you something, have you seen my blue bow tie?

AA: n0, s0rry

EB: damn it, that's the 6th one this week.

AA: y0u sh0uld the it tied t0 y0u

AA: hehehehe

AA: get it?

EB: yeah, very funny. *rolls eyes*

AA: dual pist0ls and a wink*

EB: but to tell the truth, it is fucking hard to find blue ties that don't have stripes on them.

AA: really?

EB: it took me a mouth to find one, so yeah,

EB: .*))

AA: w0w

EB: i need to get it before my date later today.

AA: 0000, wh0's it with?

EB: *eyes widen* no wait, i mean party. yeah, party.

AA: 0h, c'm0n, y0u t0tally g0t a date

AA: is it vriska?

EB: no it's not, not after last time.

AA: ....what happened?

EB: i may or may not have used a fake scorpion in her heel.

AA: 0h....*she suppresses a giggle m0stly*

EB: yeah, she's not in the mood this week. so i'm dating someone else for a while.

AA: ....is it dave

AA: please say it's dave

EB: no, it's not dave. and will never be dave.

EB: for i'm not a homosexual.

AA: awwe

AA: y0u'd be s0 cute t0gether

AA: s0, wh0 is it?

EB: *sighs* well, fine. i will tell you, but you must never tell anyone.

AA: 0kay!!

EB: it's nepeta.

AA: 0h

AA: w0w

AA: really?

EB: yeah, she helped me in a prank and we started to know each other.

EB: that prank was putting daves glasses in shaving cream.

AA: aww, that's ad0rable

EB: yeah, but don't tell equius. he would kill me faster then the speed of light.

AA: what? n0000, he w0uldn't! he's really a l0t nicer then he seems

EB: yeah, but not if i tell him that i'm basically dating his best friend.

AA: well, y0u make nep happy, right?

EB: yeah, at least what i see so far.

AA: s0, why w0uld he be mad at y0u? y0u're making his little nepeta happy!

EB: well, i never thought of that before.

EB: i have to sa--- *sees blue tie under randomly placed chair* found it!

AA: she smiles wide* matesprits insight!

AA: 0h!

AA: g00d

EB: *picks up blue tie and puts it on*

ectoBiologist [EB] is now wearing blue tie ! ectoBiologist [EB]. ~~ 1 ~~

EB: well, i better go and pick nepeta up.

AA: 0kay!

AA: lemme kn0w h0w it g0es

EB: okay, see you later. *turns into wind and blows off*

carcinoGeneticist [CG] joined chat. ~~ 2 ~~

EB: hey karkat.

CG: WHAT IS IT EGBERT

EB: have you seen my bow tie anywhere?

CG: YOUR BOW TIE? EGBERT YOU DONT FUCKING WEAR BOW TIES

EB: not normally, only for dates.

CG: YOURE GOING ON A FUCKING DATE?!?!

CG: WITH WHO!!

EB: *says nothing* d-did i say date? i mean party!

CG: EGBERT *HE PUSHES JOHN AGAINST THE WALL*

CG: TELL ME WHO THE FUCK YOURE GOING ON A DATE WITH

EB: ...if i tell you, you must not get angry.

CG: TELL ME

EB: promise me karkat.

CG: I PROMISE NOTHING NOW FUCKING TELL ME

EB: fine, it's....

CG: *PUSHES HIM AGAINST THE WALL A BIT HARDER*

EB: nepeta, it's nepeta. now let me go.

CG: *RELEASES HIM AND BACKS AWAY*

CG: WHY HER

CG: SHE DIDNT EVEN PUT YOU AND HER TOGETHER ON HER DAMN SHIPPING WALL!!!

EB: she helped me in a prank, and started to know each other.

CG: SO WHAT? HER STUPID SHIPPING WALL IS ALL CHANGED NOW? WHERE THE FUCK DO I GO?

EB: aren't you dating terezi?

CG: FUCK NO

CG: THATS HER AND FUCKING STRIDER

EB: dave told me that he's dating jade.

CG: WHAT THE FUCK. WHEN DID ALL THIS SHIT HAPPEN

CG: IM SITTING HERE ALONE WAITING FOR FUCKING EVER FOR YOU AND I JUST GET LEFT OUT OF THE FUCKING LOOP!

EB: it was like this for weeks karkat.

CG: FUCK THAT SHIT. WAS I ASLEEP AGAIN?

EB: yeah you were.

CG: EGBERT YOURE SO FUCKING STUPID

CG: FINE