#johnn

The expectations of you were insanely high, but you would be lying if you said you didn’t thrive off of it.

What you hadn’t adjusted to was Johnny Storm, and you’re not sure you ever will.

Johnny had somehow made it his personal mission to derail your concentration every time he strolled into the lab, whether by leaning over your shoulder to look at your datapad, making jokes at your or Reed's expense, or tossing you that lopsided grin like he had a quota to hit.

He flirted constantly and in response you rejected constantly.

You assumed he was joking. You always assumed he was joking. Johnny Storm flirted with anything that breathed and a few things that technically didn’t. He was literally on the cover of People Magazine for being the hottest bachelor in New York, three years in a row.

So whenever he winked at you, or lounged atop the counter while you recorded spectrometer readings, or told Reed he was “checking on his favorite assistant,” you simply rolled your eyes, made a dry comment, and moved on.

Which was easier than admitting that maybe sometimes your stomach did a weird swoop. But it didn’t matter, you had taught yourself to tuck any feelings, any butterflies, any blush in your cheeks, away.

One night, you were leaving the lab late, way later than you should have been. Reed had gone home hours ago after Sue forcibly escorted him out, and Ben had wandered through muttering something about leftover pizza in the kitchen. You stayed to finish data input because sadly someone had to and that was literally in your job description.

When you stepped into the elevator, you were already mentally planning your shower and how quickly you were going to crawl into bed after it.

Then a hand shot between the doors.

“Hold up!” Johnny squeezed inside, hair tousled, jacket slung over one shoulder, looking maddeningly perfect for someone who didn’t even try. “Well well, fancy meeting you here. You know, if I’d known you were working this late, I would’ve swung by the lab to keep you company.”

“You say that like it would have made things better,” you muttered, pressing the button for the lobby.

“Ouch.” He clutched his chest dramatically. “Your words burn me more than I burn me.”

“Johnny.”

“Yes, beautiful?”

You sighed, before you could respond the elevator hummed to life, descending three floors before a harsh metallic jolt shuddered through the walls.

You froze.

Johnny frowned. “Uh… that’s not normal.”

The lights flickered, then held, but the elevator had definitely stopped moving.

You swallowed. Hard.

No.

No no no no.

Your heart began beating too quickly, too loud, filling your ears with static.

Johnny hit the emergency button. “Hey, control? Elevator B’s stuck. Anyone home?”

A crackling voice answered, “We see the fault. Sit tight, Mr. Storm. Maintenance is on the way.”

Johnny turned around. Grinned. “Guess we’re stuck for a bit.”

But you weren’t listening.

The walls felt closer. The air felt thinner. Your lungs were suddenly too small.

Your claustrophobia wasn’t rational, never had been. It didn’t care that the elevator was well lit. It didn’t care that help was coming. It didn’t care that Johnny Storm was watching you with a slowly dawning realization.

The thing was you never even took elevators, but since you worked on the 48th floor, stairs weren’t exactly an option.

“Hey,” he said softly, stepping closer. “You okay?”

You tried to answer. But when you opened your mouth, what came out was a thin, shaking breath.

You pressed yourself back against the wall, fingers trembling, chest tight.

“Oh. Oh, hell.” Johnny’s voice changed instantly, no teasing, no swagger. “You’re …. Scared? Not a tight spaces girl, I take it.”

You nodded once, jerky, helpless.

“Okay. Okay, I’ve got you.” He moved toward you carefully, like you were a skittish animal that might bolt. “Can I touch you?”

You nodded again, your gaze holding the floor and avoiding his eyes at all costs.

Johnny’s hands settled on your arms, warm, grounding. His face had lost every hint of its usual cocky grin. He looked… worried. Really worried.

“Hey. Look at me.”

You tried, but your vision tunneled.

“It’s alright,” he murmured. “You’re okay. You’re safe. Breathe with me, sweetheart.”

Sweetheart. He’d called you a thousand things, but not like that. Not with so much gentleness it nearly undid you. Your breaths came short and shallow, panic spiraling in sharp stabs.

Johnny cupped your face, not flirty, not smug, just steady. “I’m right here. You’re not alone. You’re okay.”

The elevator creaked.

Not much. Just a tiny sound.

But enough.

You broke and a sob tore out of your throat as you practically launched yourself forward, gripping his jacket collar like your life depended on it.

Johnny caught you instantly, wrapping his arms around you with zero hesitation, pressing you against his chest. “Hey—hey—easy. I’ve got you.” His hand slid up to cradle the back of your head. “Just hold on to me.”

You did. You couldn’t not. You buried your face against him as your body trembled.

“Just breathe,” he whispered. “Feel my breathing and match it, okay? In… and out…”

You tried. His warmth helped, the natural heat of him was comforting and constant. Like standing close to a fire on a cold night. He kept one arm around your waist and one hand stroking soothing circles along your spine. His voice stayed low, soft, coaxing you back from the edge.

“You’re doing good,” he murmured. “You’re doing so good.”

Slowly, your breathing eased. Your heart rate steadied. Your fingers loosened their death grip on his shirt.

You didn’t let go entirely, though. And Johnny didn’t ask you to. When you finally lifted your head, his eyes were warm, concerned, and nothing like the flirty mask he always wore.

“Better?” he asked gently.

You nodded, cheeks heating. “Sorry. I—I don’t… like elevators.”

“No kidding.” He smiled softly. “You scared the hell out of me.”

You blinked. “I scared you?”

“Yeah,” he said without hesitation. “I hate seeing you freak out. You’re usually so…” He waved a hand vaguely. “Unflappable. Honestly, I thought you were going to shove me into the emergency hatch before you ever grabbed onto me like that.”

Despite everything, a tiny laugh escaped you. Your hands still held onto his jacket, and his arms were still wrapped around you protectively.

Johnny’s smile widened, but slowly, almost shyly. “There she is.”

Something inside your chest shifted at that. Unexpected. Uncomfortable. Or maybe very comfortable. Your brain replayed the last few minutes, how he’d held you, how careful he’d been, how serious.

You swallowed. “You’re… good at that.”

“At what?”

“Helping.”

He raised a brow, surprised. “I like helping you.”

“You usually like annoying me,” you quipped back.

His grin tilted. “Maybe I flirt so much because I’m trying not to be obvious about the other thing.”

You stared. “What other thing?”

Johnny exhaled a breathy laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. “That I actually like you.”

Your heart thudded.

“Oh,” you said brilliantly.

“Yeah. Oh.” He shrugged weakly. “I know you think I’m messing around, but I’m really not. I just… didn’t want to freak you out.”

“We’re still hugging,” you realized.

He looked down. “We are.”

You started to step back, embarrassed, but his hands tightened just slightly. You felt the heat rise to your cheeks and tried to avoid his gaze again.

“Hey,” he said softly. “You don’t have to move if you don’t want to.”

Your face warmed. “I… don’t want to.”

He smiled, slow, gentle, burning in a completely different way than his fire.

“Good,” he whispered.

The elevator jolted again, it was just a small shift as the power briefly hummed back to life. You stiffened, breath catching.

Johnny immediately slid a hand up to cup the side of your head, guiding you back against him. “Hey, I’ve got you. It’s okay. It’s just a reset. I’m not going anywhere.”

You clung again, trying to keep your breathing steady.

He rubbed your back. “You know, when we get out of here, I’m gonna start leaning way harder into the whole ‘you like me back’ thing.”

“I never said I like you back.”

He glanced down at your arms that were now wrapped around him. “…You sure?”

You let out a shaky exhale. “I didn’t think you meant any of it.”

“Everything I said to you? I meant.” He tipped your chin so you met his eyes. “I just didn’t think you wanted serious.”

“I didn’t think you wanted serious.”

Johnny huffed a laugh. “Well. Joke’s on us.”

You gave him a soft smile, “where were you going this late anyways?” You asked, suddenly realizing the time.

He blushed, “uhhhhh honestly I were you lock up the lab and wanted to flirt with you a little in the elevator, I promise I didn’t plan this though”

You laughed against his chest where you were still laying your cheek.

“I was going to offer to get you home safely, I really had a whole plan,” he shrugged.

Before you could respond, the elevator lights fully brightened and the mechanism shuddered, then began sliding.

Johnny kept you pressed to him the whole time.

When the doors slid open, a tech stood waiting, apologetic. “All fixed. Sorry for the inconvenience.”

Johnny nodded, one arm still around your waist. “No problem.”

You tried to step out of his hold, but he leaned in slightly. “Can I walk you out?”

You hesitated.

“Please?” he added softly.

You nodded.

The walk through the lobby was strangely quiet, your head buzzing, and you could feel the exhaustion that comes after an anxiety attack creeping into your bones. But you weren’t tired enough to not notice his fingers brushing yours with each step.

When you reached the doors, he stopped in front of you.

“Hey,” he murmured. “For real… you okay?”

You nodded. “Thanks to you.”

He exhaled in relief. “Good. Anytime you need me—anywhere, any moment—I’m there. No jokes. Promise.”

You looked up at him, studying the sincerity on his face. “Johnny?”

“Yeah?”

“Ask me out.”

He blinked. “I—what?”

You swallowed your nerves. “If you’re serious. Ask me out.”

His face split into the brightest, warmest smile you’d ever seen on him.

“Oh, I am serious.” He stepped closer. “Go out with me. Tomorrow night.”

Your lips twitched. “Yes.”

Johnny’s grin went incandescent. He leaned down, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to your forehead. “Can’t wait.”

You stepped back, heart racing in an entirely different way now.

“See you tomorrow, matchstick.”

His smile could’ve powered the building.

“Count on it, sweetheart.”

Johnny had been hovering in the kitchen for a while before you finally noticed him. Not in an obvious way, just lingering near the counter, opening cupboards he did not need to open and glancing toward the stove like he was waiting for something to happen on its own.

You were leaning against the counter, scrolling on your phone, when you finally looked up. “You’ve checked that cupboard three times,” you said. “If you’re looking for something, you can just ask”

He grinned, completely unbothered by being caught. “I was hoping you’d make hot cocoa”

You raised an eyebrow “That’s not subtle”

“I’m not trying to be subtle” Johnny said, shrugging as he leaned his elbows on the counter. “Well, you’re already in the kitchen, and you make it better than I do”

You sighed, but there was no real annoyance in it “You say that every time”

“And every time I’m right” he replied easily.

You put your phone down and reached for a mug, pulling out the cocoa powder and milk. Johnny watched you like this was the most interesting thing in the world, resting his chin in his hand.

“You know” he said “I could help you”

You looked at him as you measured the cocoa “Yeah, but last time you ‘helped,’ you over boiled the milk”

“That was one time” he protested “And I was a bit distracted”

“By what?”

“By you” he said without missing a beat.

You paused for half a second, then shook your head, trying not to smile. “You’re ridiculous”

As the milk warmed, Johnny stepped closer to the counter, watching you with an easy, relaxed focus. He looked like he had nowhere else he needed to be, content to linger while you worked.

“You’re really taking this seriously” he said amused.

“You asked for it” you replied, stirring the cocoa. “If I’m making it, I’m making it properly”

“Fair” Johnny said, smilin.

You poured the cocoa into two mugs and handed one to him. He wrapped both hands around it immediately, sighing in contentment.

“Oh, that’s perfect" he said. “You always get it just right”

You leaned back against the counter, lifting your own mug. “It’s literally cocooa powder and milk”

“Still” Johnny said, bumping his shoulder into yours again “It tastes better when you make it”

The two of you stood there for a moment, sipping in comfortable silence. Johnny glanced at you over the rim of his mug, his expression relaxed in a way you didn’t get to see all that often.

“Thanks” he said quietly.

You smiled. “For the cocoa?”

"And his cheeks!" You squeaked when she swiped showing a picture of him smiling awkwardly in front of a magazine

Johnny's mom laughed "Do you want a copy?"

You looked at her "Can I?" You asked surprised

She nods "Hand you phone over I'll send it" She says chuckling and you quickly obey handing her your phone

"Thank you" You said happily "he might take initiative and delete those from my phone, So please don't tell Johnny Oppa"

She laughs and nods "Don't tell me what?" Johnny asks walking in with a bag of take out and some of the members

"Nothing" You smiled, using two hands to take back your phone

He raised an eyebrow at you and his mom as you took your phone back with two hands "Mom?" He calls and settles beside you

"Its nothing" She assured and pressed a button on her phone, making yours light up with the photo she send

"Hey!" Johnny yelled in realization, moving to take your hone from you before you could lock it and be inaccessible to him

"Johnny!" You yelled and tried to get your phone from him, he attempts to stand up so he can make sure you won't reach while he tries to delete the photos

"Of all my pictures, this is the one you asked for?" He asks and yelps when you grabbed his collar and pulled him back down to the sofa, you tried to reach for the phone and he quickly evades it by leaning back 'till his back hit the arm of the sofa. Most of the members stopped what they were doing to look at you and Johnny's obvious display of affection

He managed to pull his hand back out and away from your reach, he was determined to delete that damned baby photo from your gallery, making you shift closer to him practically sitting on the calf of your leg as a hand on his chest to support yourself from falling flat against him. Only then did the two of your realize the position you both were in

You were practically on top of him, hand on his chest, faces so close that Johnny can see and count, he didn't (he couldn't even think straight), the freckles that littered your face, your shirt dipped low enough that Johnny could see your collar bones and he couldn't help but suck a deep breath making his chest rise. You on the other hand couldn't take your eyes of Johnny, you both were really close, you can feel his stuttered breath against your lips, which you wanted to stare at

Johnny caught you, the way your eyes flickered down to his parted lips, making his cheeks flame up, making him lick his lips making you stare at them again and back up to lock with his eyes. Both of you were only awoken by your trance when you felt the slight sting by your chest when your stomach exploded with butterflies so you eyes flickered away and to his hand where your phone was. Grabbing it before he can push it away, you locked it and you cheered

Johnny was still frozen in place, he honestly didn't care that you still have his picture what he did care about was the fact that you were on him

"So I wanted to ask" Johnny's mom starts "Did Johnny invite you over?"

You looked up from your own pint of ice cream "Oh well, actually" You started drifting off, un sure of what to answer

"She was really on the way here, so I never really told her you were here" Johnny answers for you

"You were?" She asks "So you were supposed to have a date today? I'm so sorry"

"No" You quickly defended and stood up, loosing balance making Johnny hold your arm, "I just wanted to hang out with Oppa, its really ok, please don't be sorry"

Johnny agrees "Really Mom, its alright, don't be sorry"

She sighs "If I knew you two were to have a date I would've surprised you on another date"

You shake your head "We were going to work" You answered, "I swear we were going to work," You bowed "Please don't say sorry, It's really alright

The day went on after that, with you hanging out with some of the members, joking around with Johnny's mom and as night fell you, Johnny, and Haechan were tasked to clean up the mess they did cause you lost in an unfair game of rock paper scissors

You stood by the sink, washing all the dishes as Johnny waited with a cloth on his hand ready to wipe and put all the now cleaned dishes back in the cupboard, while Haechan walked between the living room and kitchen grabbing anything he could throw away or place dirty dishes by the sink

"You can go" You answered and he makes a face "I can finish up here and ask Haechan for help"

"Why?" He asks and takes the newly washed plate from you

"Your mom is here," You answered, and turned off the water to look at him "Go spend sometime with her, I took most of her attention this morning"

He snorts "Yeah you did" He playfully shoots you a glare "But it was also nice, to see you and my mom getting along"

You laugh "Well we both had something in common" You joked and started washing again

"Which is?"

"We both like you" You answered "We only ever talked about you"

"Is that why she showed you baby photos?" He asked

You laugh and nod, turning off the water as Haechan walked in "I said you had a habit of placing your arms over my shoulder since I'm shorter, then I said I should poke your cheek next time then she took out her phone to proudly show me her son who had cute chubby cheeks as a child. Which reminds me, I wanted to show you something" You gently flicked your hand by the sink to remove excess water, before, without a second thought started wiping your hands against your shirt leaving wet stains on it

Johnny flinched "Y/n!" He raises his voice and you stop to stare at him in shock and confusion "Don't do that" He grabs one of  your hands and wipes your hand dry using the cloth he was holding "Don't ever" He says again and this time wipes your other hand as you stared up at him at how close her was, your now dry hand had your phone in it, as you wanted to show it too him but you found yourself just staring

It wasn't the first time you and Johnny ever held hands, one he just had this slightly clingy reaction when you two go out on dates and two cause your hands get cold you seek the warmth of his and those times never really did anything that made you look at him in shock like now, even if the touch was covered by a cloth you can feel it, the slight tingling on our fingers where ever he touches, you only ever felt this way once, with someone else, someone that meant everything to you, someone that has hurt you more than you can ever imagine, Johnny seemed to forget what he was doing as he met your eyes, you looked detached, as if you were trying to block Johnny from your thoughts and your feelings, you looked frightened

Haechan watches you both before Johnny could ask he clears his throat and you pulled your hand from Johnny's as you held your now unlocked phone from your chest, looking at Haechan "No offence, But I can't believe the two of you are still acting despite no one is watching"

"You can never be too sure on who's watching" you murmured and turned to face the sink

"You said you wanted to show me something?" Johnny asks and you looked down at your phone, seeing the new wallpaper you added was the picture his mom has sent you. You locked it and hid your phone back to your pocket

"I forgot" You lied and gave him a smile he tilts his head and you grab the cloth from him "Anyway, Go hang out with your mom, I got it here" you motioned to the door

"Let me help you" He offers again walking towards you

"No!" You raised your voice and he stops staring at you "I mean—I mean No, I got this, just go stay with your mother" you gently shoved him towards the door

"Are you ok?" He asks and you nod, pursing your lips "What's in your head? Tell me?" He says the line that would always make you admit your faults, you can feel the sob that was ready to leave your throat because of the words, your vision became glossy, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry

"Nothing" You lied, blinking and looking at anything but Johnny to stop the tears from falling "I just want you to stay with your mom" You lied again and smiled

He stares as if unconvinced, before nodding, making you turn to return to the sink when he spoke up again  "Before I go, um" He says and you stop not moving to look at him "I have a half day this Saturday, and if I remember correctly, you have no work then?"

You swallowed and nodded, humming, afraid your voice might betray you and Johnny frowns looking at Haechan who shrugged "We can work on the song then? You can come over at three in the afternoon?" You kept silent, trying to find your voice "Or would you rather I go—"

"No" You quickly cut him off "I'll come over"

Johnny stays there for a second, "Y/n?" He tries

You smiled "I promise" You answered "See you at three?"

He stares as if he wants to say more but since you made intention of meeting his eyes, he sighs and leaves the room catching Haechan's eyes, a silent conversation between them before Johnny leaves

It was silent as you walked to the sink holding on to its edge to keep you up "Noona" Haechan began but you spoke up

"You too" You answered, not meeting his eyes either "I got this, go hang out with the guys"

"You sure?" He asks worried "I can help"

"I can do it" was your curt reply

Haechan sighs and nods "ok" He murmurs and turns around ready to leave when he stops midway "I hope you know Johnny Hyung knows you're not alright" He says and leaves

You counted to five, both to make sure no one else would walk in and to try to get your wits together, but you can only hold on so far. Tears would keep falling to the sink as you silently delved into your fear, the fear of experiencing all of it again, the hate and the doubt, the fear of getting hurt when you develop feelings for someone, cause you can't, you can't develop feelings, you can't, Han Jisung was enough.

He was enough.

Enough as your first, because you've already experienced it, the joy of having them like you back, the bliss of dating them, the butterflies in the kiss, the trust of your relationship, the pain of realizing love isn't real, the anger of catching him, the loneliness and the betrayal of everything after. Experiencing it once was enough.

Going through all of that once is enough.

Not again.

Never again.

Don't do it again.

Stop hurting yourself again.

You fell to the floor as your knees finally gave in, quietly sobbing to your hands. Please don't let me go through any of that again.

You don't know how, but you managed to wash the dishes, and clean everything up in the middle of your breakdown, you were now sitting down on the floor as you tried to still your heart and your breathing. You found the strength to text your manager to pick you up leaving your location on so he could find you

You managed to stand up and walk out of the kitchen after ten minutes of doing nothing but gently shut your thoughts and your feelings very deep in your thoughts

Jungwoo bumped into you as you slowly walked out of the kitchen "Y/n" He calls and you looked at him, eyes red and blood shot "You ok?"

You scoffed but nodded "I got soap in my eyes" You lied again "What are you doing here?"

"They asked me to come get you" He answers worry etched in his features "You were here for about an hour"

You nod and pushed past him "tell them I left" You said and swerved to leave out the front door

"But—" He began but you cut him off

"I'm not feeling well" You murmured and wore your shoes as Jungwoo just stares, when you finished you turned to leave only to be stop and look at him "Tell them that ok?"

He sighs and walks up to you, taking your hand placing the paper bag you never noticed he was holding on it "Johnny Hyung ordered some of us to get snacks while you were in the kitchen— He said you might want to leave since you didn't look good, so he separated this for you, so you can take some home" You stared at it before slowly opening and checking what he got you: Turtle chips, and banana milk

"These are my favorite childhood snacks," You murmur and looked at Jungwoo "How did he?"

"Someone named Eric?" Jungwoo answers "He was on the phone with him"

You pursed your lips, Johnny asked your brother for help to make you happy, tears brimming your sight again once you realize that your heart swelled at that so you just nodded "Thank you" You said and turned around to leave the dorm and walk out to the night

You sniffed and wiped your tears once they started escaping again, your walk was brisk and you tried to get as far as possible from the dorm, clinging on to the bag tightly, heart aching at the thought of Johnny, you broke down when you managed to find your way to wear you and Johnny hanged out on your first date, the playground. You sat by the swings as you tried to steady yourself.

Your manager found you after five minutes, you sat there, blinking the tears out of your eyes, to no avail, they would just land to the paper bag, which was now ruined because of your tears

"Y/n" He whispers, he's only seen you like this once before, you were so cold, so detached from the world. Your eyes moved to look at him when he called you "What happened?"

You shook your head and laughed, attempting to sound uplifting to stop him from worrying but you can hear yourself, the laugh that left you was forced and dead, your throat was dry making the laugh sound raspy and he cringed holding your arm to stop you from the torture you placed on yourself by laughing, you stopped after he kneels and stares at you, holding you close "I hate myself, Oppa!" You cried after a second of trying to pull him away to no avail "I hate how stupid I am, I can't go through this again! It hurts! I can't!"

He shushes you and holds you close, "Tell me, please, Y/n tell me what happened" He begs wiping your tears

You cried more, forcing yourself to speak "I can't start liking Johnny! I can't! I don't want to get hurt again! Please! Make me stop liking him!"

The next couple of days just left Johnny upset, ever since you left early from their dorms you have been dodging his calls and his texts, every time he tries to talk to you you would always be around either Taeyong or Jungwoo. You have done nothing but avoid him, and he doesn't even know why

The next five days was hell to Johnny, He would try to talk to you and you would walk the other way, squeezing yourself between Taeyong and Jungwoo, When he sits beside you when its break time you'd always take your brother's call and walk away from him. The only time he gets to be near you was when you practice for the dance.

He's sleeping schedule was more messed up compared to what it was back then, back then he couldn't sleep cause of exhaustion or stress now, he can't sleep because of you, questions about you.

Why you were you avoiding him?

Was it him?

You're upset, you need time but why is it that you're no longer with him?

"Johnny?" You called from the doorway, quiet so you won't wake him just incase, since you did arrive a little later than what you both agreed on, but his eyes shot open "You're awake"

"I can't sleep even if I want to" He huffs and sat up, making you look down "What are you doing here?" He said coldly

You look up at him but not meeting his eyes "What?" You asked surprised

"What are you doing here?" He asked again, colder

"I made a promise" You whispered "We agreed to meet here"

"I didn't think you'd come" He admits and bit your lip "You avoided me all week, I wouldn't be surprised if you avoided me today too"

"I'm sorry"

"Don't" He snapped "Don't say sorry when I know you don't mean it. Do you have any idea what you put me through? I miss you, " He admits and started playing with the ends of you jacket "I told you, I'd stay by your side no matter what happens. But why? You left, You left me and I don't know why?"

"I didn't leave you..." You replied

"The where were you?" He asked "You know I can't sleep right? I can't, You tell me too and I try, and you know that I only get to rest long enough when you're in the same room as me, when you're near me. I can't sleep then, cause I was so tired and now? now I can't sleep now cause I'm afraid, what if  I miss your call? what if you need someone and I'm not there? what if.. what if... what if... that's all I ever think about now, So where the hell were you?"

You don't answer and you look down, murmuring sentences that no longer make any sense, you were hurt, everything you did was because you wanted to get your head on right and you ended up hurting Johnny yourself, you are a horrible person, absolutely horrible

Horrible enough that you don't even deserve Johnny

Horrible, you hurt him

Horrible, self-centered—

"You know its ok you don't answer me," He says after a while waking you fro your thoughts "Cause I know whatever it is its upsetting, and if you needed space, I would give it to you. But you have to tell me that, I can't read your mind, so you have to tell me"

You sniffed, tears welling in your eyes as you looked down "I'm so sorry"

"Why are you here?" He says colder than before

"I promised you, we'd write it together," You murmured and looked up at him "So I came"

"I can't" He starts and lies down "write with you, I feel like shit and I might say something stupid, so I can't, I'm sorry"

You nod "No I understand" You whispered and licked your lips, your hand fiddling with the hem of your shirt, just now did Johnny see your condition, you looked horrible, your eyes were sunken and you were pale and hands slightly shaking, it looked as if you too can't get enough sleep "I'll see myself out" You turned around to leave his room, placing your shaky hand the knob when you turned around to look at Johnny who spoke up at the same time as you did

"Johnny Oppa can I stay?"

"Y/n Stay"

You and Johnny shared a look of surprise before he clears his throat "You first" He answers and you started fiddling with the hem again

"Can I stay?" You asked with a tilt of your head, after a moment of silence "I don't have to stay here in your room, I can hang out with the guys, I just— I really don't want to be alone right now..."

Johnny scoffs and pushes the blankets away so there's space "Come here"

You looked at him confused "Sorry, what?"

"Are you sorry?" He asks and you nod at him "The come here and help me fall asleep"

You moved quickly, sitting by the edge of the bed, making him frown, he lifted the blanket so your legs can go in, and you did, back pressed against the headboard as he lies down, some of his hair spreading on your lap

It was a quiet ten minutes  and at first you thought he fell asleep, with your fingers gently brushing his locks out of his face, but he spoke up "You can tell me anything" He says and opened his eyes to look up at you "I won't judge, maybe all you need is have someone listen" He says softly

Tears started to cloud your vision once again "I can't" You whispered "This is something I can't tell you"

"When was the last time you slept?" He asks and you shrugged, he taps on your knee "Lie down, and sleep with me"

You stared at him "But— You— Me?" You started mumbling again and he smiles

"I can't sleep, without you in the same room, I don't know why" He admits, "You need sleep, I need sleep so" He motions to the bed "Sleep with me. You can say no, if you don't want it or uncomfortable" He added "Just say no and I'll stop"

You stared at him "Its not that I don't want it" You admit "I thought you're mad at me"

"I am" He answers

"Then Why?"

"Because, even if I am mad, making you feel more horrible than you already are is going to hurt me on the long run, I just want us to rest then we can talk again after" He answers and sat up "Or would you rather be on Haechan's bed?"

You shake your head and shifted to slide down and lie on Johnny's bed "Haechan might get mad"

He snorts and shifted to lie down as well, leaving space between you both as you "I don't think Haechan would care if there is a pretty woman asleep on his bed"

You pursed your lips and he looks up at the ceiling, it was just quiet, neither of you making conversation. At some point you and Johnny found yourself holding each others hands, you were playing with his fingers as he closes his eyes as if asleep, but you know better

It was just quiet, You fiddling with his hand, "Thank you" You whispered and He opens his eyes to look at you, you look back at him resting your intertwined hands on your tummy "Thank you" you repeated

"What for?"

"For staying by my side, despite" You nodded "Me pushing you away, for um" You looked away once a tear left your eyes and Johnny looks at you worried "For not leaving me when I left you. For letting e stay here despite you being mad at me"  You sniffed "I'm— I don't know— I'm just scared— Thank you, cause without you, I don't think— Without you I don't think I'll be ok but I'm just so scared! " You cried

Johnny reaches with his free hand to wipe the tears from your eyes "Being scared makes people do things," He starts and rubs his thumb on your cheek "I don't blame you, I know how hard it can be, and yeah I'm mad only because there was no explanation" He swallows, at the moment even Johnny wasn't aware the was wearing his heart in his sleeve "I was afraid too, I thought I did something" He confesses and you quickly let go of Johnny's hand to cup the hand on Johnny's hand that was on your face "I know, But back then I didn't. I'm still mad" He answers "but not as much cause, You're here, and you're telling me things"

You stared at him, heart beating against your chest at both the proximity and the way he stares at you. Anxiety pooled at the bottom of your heart and the fear returned, every ounce of your being begging you to get up and run away, that this feeling will do nothing but hurt you. "Johnny" You whimpered and he stares at you in surprise "it hurts" You cried "I'm so sorry, but everything hurts"

Johnny, gently pulled you close as you started mumbling to yourself, you hid your face by Johnny's chest, crying as he shushes you, running his fingers through your hair "Its ok" He assures "You're ok, Let it out, you're safe, you're safe, You're safe with me I won't hurt"

You swallowed air at his words, surprised and relieved "Thank you" You breathed and hugged him "Oh God, what did I do to get you this kind to me?" You whimpered and cried on to his chest

Johnny freezes and looks down at you, "I care about you" He admits

You managed to cry yourself to sleep, Johnny physically relaxed when your heavy breathing was replaced with soft puffs of air. He looks down at you who was asleep and he smiles, you looked relaxed, he liked it, the warmth you offered by cuddling against him, and the careless look you had. He was glad. You were in his arms again.

Johnny found himself lulling to sleep at the sound of your breathing, he sighs, for the first time this week Johnny found himself relaxing and letting sleep claim him

"Please" He whispers and pulls you closer by the waist "Don't ever do that again" He begs and closes his eyes

"Haechan," Taeyong calls and the boy looks up from playing a game with Jungwoo and Mark "Where's Y/n?"

"I think she and Johnny Hyung are writing a song" He answers and screams when he almost died "Mark Hyung!" He yells

"It wasn't me!" Mark yells back

"Haechan I need you to call them over," He instructs "I ordered some take out maybe they'd want some"

"I'm playing" He says

"Now, Haechan" Taeyong starts and Haechan stands

"Ok, Ok" He quickly stands up and goes to his shared room with Johnny, He was expecting the two of you in the middle of a ear piercing yelling match cause you were quite detached, he was expecting you and Johnny being in a silent war with one another, he was expecting one of you crying, what he was not expecting was you and Johnny cuddling one another on Johnny's bed

He wanted to wake both of you, just so he could tease you, but he only remembers the sleepless nights Johnny went through and he wanted to let Johnny sleep as much as he can

He smiles "Don't like her my ass" He whispers when Johnny shifts and pulls you closer to him and you just whined, shifting and Haechan holds his breath, you flipped over back against Johnny's chest, as the latter had his hand wrapped loosely around your waist  

Haechan slowly and carefully took his phone out, going to the camera application and pointing it at you two. He holds his breath, when he presses the shutter button making the quiet room resonate with a loud click of his camera

When neither you nor Johnny made a move, only then did he release the breath he was holding "Oh thank god" He breathed and placed his phone back in his pocket "Sleep well you two" he wished and left the room

You woke up somewhere around nine P.M.

That was when you realized Johnny's arms were around you, you slowly got up and tried your best to take the male's arms off of you without stirring him to no avail "Where are you going?" He whispered, voice raspy from sleep

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you" You whispered

"Well you did" He whines and opens one eye "Where are you going? Stay"

You smiled and pet his hair "The bathroom" You informed "I need to pee, Johnny Oppa" You snorted "I'll come back, I promise" You whispered

And he slowly, reluctantly pulled away from your waist and lets you go "Quickly" He whines

You nod and got off the bed, walking to the bathroom.

Closing the door behind you, you see Johnny asleep and you smile moving to run your fingers through his head only to stop mid way "I'll go drink water first, before joining you again, ok?" You whispered again and walked out the door

You walked past the living room where Mark and Jaehyun were sitting and watching to get your own glass of water, and probably a snack that Yuta offered you.

"You ok?" He asks and you look up from munching on the ramen he offered

You nod "Did I worry the others too?" You asked

"Kind of," Yuta answers honestly "You know everyone knows you and Johnny Hyung are practically attached to the hip"

"I'm sorry"

"I'm guessing you and Johnny Hyung made up?"

"Not exactly" You whispered "Why did you ask?"

"Not yet?" He asks back and slurps the noodles "I just figured since you both were cuddling"

You blushed, and chuckled "Actually, he just told me to rest so we can talk about it, properly"

"So you two are still in the middle of a fight?"

"Well, we never fought to begin with"

He laughs "You and Hyung really complement one another, you know?" He says and motions for you to finish your ramen

After eating the snack with Johnny you grabbed a couple of biscuits for Johnny just incase he wakes up and gets hungry. You were headed back to Johnny's room when you heard a familiar tune and you paused to watch the show Mark and Jaehyun were watching

"What show is this?" You asked, by the side.

Mark looks at you and nods "You wanna watch with us, Noona?" He asks and moves so you can sit between him and Jaehyun "Its called Umbrella Academy"

Jaehyun nods "Kids with superpowers"

"And family issues" Mark adds and you laugh

"Ok maybe, just a quick peak" You joked and sat down between them

"I'll add Korean subs" Jaehyun announces and moves to grab the remote

You placed your hand on his "Its fine," You said stopping him "I can speak english"

Mark looks at you "You can, Noona?"

You nod and looked at him "I was born abroad" You informed and looked at the TV, "Ok wow" You said surprise at the sudden fight scene "who's that?"

"That would be five, he's actually really old, in a kid's body" Jaehyun informed

"He's badass too" Mark adds

Only an episode later did you realize that you've been sitting for almost an hour "Shit" You gasped and stood up as Jaehyun pressed the next episode

"What's wrong?" He asks

"Sorry, I just realized, I sat here for an hour" You laughed and stepped away "I gotta go before Johnny Oppa whines" You smile and bow before walking away

Mark smiles and waves before looking at his phone when he received a text notification from Haechan

Mark leans over to hit Jaehyun's arm and show him the post Haechan showed him

Jaehyun watches your retreating figure "Well atleast their legal now" He says and Mark laughs leaning back to reply to Haechan

Johnny rolls his eyes and threw is phone to the side table after reading Haechan's texts to him

"Oppa?" You asked surprised "You ok?"

"Where were you?" He asked ignoring your question

"Um," You pointed at the door "I got hungry" You showed him the snack you brought along "Wanna eat something?"

He sat up, and you sat on his bed "You were out there for over an hour though"

You nod "Well yeah, I was watching TV with Jaehyun Oppa and Mark" You informed, he huffs and takes a bite from the biscuit, you stand and gathered your stuff "What are you doing?"

"Getting ready to go home?" You asked and he makes a face "I think I over stayed my welcome" You said and picked up your phone from the side table

Johnny grabs your wrist and you fall on his bed "Why?" He asked "Did someone say that to you?"

"No," You quickly answered "it just felt that way"

"Then stay"

"Its ten PM" You answered

"Exactly," He quickly answered "I can't let you go home this late"

"So what is it you want me to do?"

"Stay the night" He answered

"What?"

"I stay at your place all the time"

"Well, You have your own bed at my place"

Johnny bites his tongue at your words, and looks at Haechan's bed with a face "Do you want to use that one instead?"

"Won't he get mad?" You asked

"Just stay please" He asks again

"Why?"

"We need to talk, and After you bawled your eyes out, I just want to make sure, you're ok"

"What about you?" You ask

"I was able to sleep," He informed "I feel great" he smiles "So My bed or Haechan's?" He asked eating the biscuit and lying down

"Won't Haechan need it?" You snorted "So if its alright with you," you moved to lie down beside him aswell "I'll stay here"

He nods, hand hovering to give you a hug but stopped when he realized you might not be ok with that, he should probably apologize for hugging you while you slept

You turned to grab his arm and place it over your waist "Hug me if you want t hug me" You replied

"Its ok?" He asks

"You did it before" You answered "And I trust you, so its alright"

He nods and takes his phone from the side when he felt it vibrate, and sees it was just a text from Haechan

He places it back down and hums softly while you mindlessly fiddled with the sheets "Y/n" He calls and you looked up at him "What's on your mind?" he asked

"I'm scared" You admitted I think I like someone "I'm afraid that I'll get hurt, You won't hurt me now, will you?" You asked and he looks at you

"Never" He starts "Never" He says again "Never" He assures

Send an ask if you wanna be added💜

Note: I would like to encourage the people in my taglist to atleast like my fic, it is a way for me to know you are reading it, Starting now that I have posted it, after a week of you not reacting I will REMOVE you from the list. I hope you understand, lots of Love

Not Another Song About Love Taglist:

@dreamsindreamss @bloomtilweache @ihave8ofgot7  @d1nne @mineymak712 @bebsky @tyongf-sunflower99 @isletsoflou-gerhans @misschubswrites @toujourshobi @5sos-wdw @amlikesthings

Numbers 

Total Number of Words: 598

 Average words per Member: 

157 (26.3%) in Korean vs. 441 (73.7%) in English 

44 (7.4%) Sung by All vs. 554 (92.6%) by Individual 

Member with the Highest Number of Words: Mark - 131 (21.99%)

Member with the Lowest Number of Words: Johnny - 35 (5.9%)

Mark - 131 Words

Taeyong - 86 Words

Yuta - 66 Words

Jaehyun - 57 Words

Haechan - 54 Words

Winwin - 50 Words

Doyoung - 47 Words

Taeil - 42 Words

Johnny - 35 Words 

My Favorite Lyrics

Jaehyun

끝이 어디인지 kkeuchi eodiinji Where is the end?

Doyoung

어디까지 갈 수 있는지 이제 시작해 Just the half of it eodikkaji gal su itneunji ije sijakhae Just the half of it How far can I go? I’m starting it now, just the half of it

Jaehyun

뒷걸음질 치는 모습 It’s over dwitgeoleumjil chineun moseub It’s over Stepping backwards? It’s over

Taeil

떠들기 바쁜 세상 속에 갇혀 헤매고 싶지는 않아 tteodeulgi bappeun sesang soke gachyeo hemaego sipjineun anha In this world that’s busy chatting I don’t wanna be trapped and lost

Notes

**If the lyrics are marked as Member & All, it simply goes to all.  Everyone is singing, but one person’s voice is just a little bit more noticeable than the others.  **

*When two singers sang together, I added it twice for each - but for the percentage and Number of words overall I took it out for the final count.  So It goes towards the personal members records and not the overall for the song.** 

IF YOU WOULD LIKE A SONG PLEASE LET ME KNOW (CURRENTLY JUST DOING SONGS I LIKE OR WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT) 

Links 

Lyrics: https://colorcodedlyrics.com/2017/06/nct-127-cherry-bomb  

Info: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cherry_Bomb_(EP) - https://kprofiles.com/nct-127-members-profile/ 

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkuHLzMMTZM