see i love john winchester. as a character, he slaps. heās also hot. and i understand him. heās got so much grief and love inside him but it sometimes rots him from the inside, and heās a little bit insane at this point, and heās abusive, but heās also protective, and he neglects his kids, but heād also sell his soul for them. heās so focused on revenge for a love that was predestined for him that he forgets himself sometimes, and heās complicated, and heās such a fucking good character.
see i love dean winchester. heād do anything for his baby brother. heās loving and fierce and practically raised sam as much as john did. but heās also abusive. heād kill anyone to save sam and also lay his life down for his brother but that means owning sam just as much. samās body and soul belong to dean. and heās funny and heās cute and heās honorable and he saves people and heās so fucking handsome and he has daddy issues and childhood trauma and eldest daughter syndrome and anger issues and abandonment issues and he sexualizes himself to control the beauty heās been cursed with, flaunts it to his gain because thatās the way heās been used as bait since he was a little kid. and yes he sometimes treats sam like shit--gaslights him, manipulates him. and heās complicated, and heās such a fucking good character.
and then thereās sam. thereās no doubt im biased towards him. samās the culmination of a long line of familial trauma, a boy with a streak of freak running through him--the grossness was always in his veins. a boy with powers he doesnāt understand, with a life he hates but a family he loves and too young to understand the loss and cycle that got them there. so he rebels and he tries to leave, once he makes it to flagstaff to escape the abuse and the life and dean takes the brunt of it, and when he runs away the second time, heās told itās for good. but he canāt escape his fate, so the loss of his father becomes his own and the brother beside him becomes his stronghold, and that means submitting, and that means sacrifice. returning to an abusive relationship of the person who needs him most and the person he needs the most. codependency. and he manipulates right back, lashes out violently to the abuse, hurting dean in the process, and warps himself darkly to his surroundings, and when the freakishness rises to the top, none of them can understand it, except for the devil of the god heād been praying to all along. and heās complicated and heās such a fucking good character.
these are how i understand these characters. so when i say iām deancrit, or im johncrit, or i hate how dean treats sam or john treats dean or whatever whatever, this is the cycle iām talking about here. theyāre all fucked up. i donāt hate any of them, but to me, to deny the abuse in these relationships would be unthinkable. the power dynamics will always be there. i want people to understand that when i criticize these characters...this is what i mean.
