#john stuff

-> Dean’s.

“Your destiny?”

-> Dean’s.

“You’re just a seed, John. You don’t matter.”

///

and millie rolls her eyes and SCOFFS because, "you think you can get advice from ME? I got LEFT." 🙄

john cries a little and millie says,

"sorry, kiddo guess you take after me" 😔

//

but over time the calls get more and more frantic

and then john is saying "remember how her dad died of a heart attack?' well she said she and her mom had a falling out, and i was thinking she could bury the hatchet and AT LEAST let her mom meet little dean, you know? He's NAMED after her!!!!! and i mean, this's her grandson!!!111 BUT. BUT she said she'd stop speaking to me forever if i reached out"

-- and at this point, john is pacing with the phone, and millie is rolling her eyes on the other side of the line (because everyone needs to gaslight john ok it's essential so he gets more crazy) --

but ANYWAY.

at this point john is like, "finding people was my thing in the marines i was GOOD at tracking, it's what i'm GOOD at and I -- I CAN'T FIND HER, MOM. I MET HER AND I CAN'T FIND HER-- she's NOT at her OWN house and WHERE IS SHE i can’t find a record of samuel’s death either… there should be a death certificate"

and millie IS disturbed by that but shrugs it off with a joke, "so, what? you think your wife is an ax murderer or something???"

and then john says, "don't be ridiculous... but wait, do you think..."

and millie is like "no, john. it was just a joke. jfc"

and john is like "do you think something happened to her mom too??? it was weird, the night her dad died, and-- idk i could SWEAR he was bleeding, so like… what if it was a mafia hit or something????”

john THINKS he hears a little intake of breath, but it's DEFINITELY not millie, and then john goes very still like OMG SURELY MARY IS NOT LISTENING IN

(she is)

and millie is like "john? john?"

then john launches into his and his mom's version of Poughkeepsie and start talking about music and casablanca and millie is like, "I think i'll come over for a visit and help w the baby"

john thinks he hears a soft click of the line

(mary, again)

then millie says "i love you and i'll see you soon"

For a second, he just stands there.

His mom’s workstation is exactly how it always is—always had been. Scattered tools on the picnic table, the same chipped ceramic coffee cup sitting off to the side. If not for the fine layer of dust, he’d think she was still here.

He shakes himself out of it.

“C’mon,” he mutters over his shoulder. “We’ll be safer here. Before my mom and I went off hunting together, we made sure to lock this place down with all kinds of monster warding. There’s other safe places we can go, but we need to take a minute. Reset.”

Behind him, small rubber boots scuff against the concrete as the kid’s slow, too-measured footsteps tread into the room. John clicks on a couple of the work lights, then pulls the garage door shut again.

Emmanuel takes in the room with just his eyes, barely moving his head. No wasted motion. Kid’s either wired like a sniper, or he’s got The Shining in him. “Sit there,” John says, nodding toward the picnic bench. “I can find you something to eat. We got canned beans and chili, probably.”

The kid climbs up onto the bench with that same strange, ninja-like precision he does everything with. His feet dangle, a few inches shy of the floor. “I don’t think I’m hungry.”

“Cook picks the meal,” John snaps automatically—and then winces. Jesus. He sounds just like his mom. He exhales, scrubs a hand over his face. “I mean… you don’t gotta clean your plate or anything, but you’re gonna try. Okay?”

The kid looks at him, eyes narrow under the brim of that little bucket hat. John can’t help it—something about it makes him grin, makes him think of Gilligan.

“Okay,” the kid says.

“Okay,” John echoes, already turning away. Then to himself, more quietly: “Okay.”

He rummages through one of the storage bins in the corner—his mom’s emergency stash, all canned goods and non-perishables—the cans clinking as he shifts things around. Over his shoulder, he sees the kid pull out that cheap kaleidoscope John had handed him in the car.

He starts turning it, slow, steady.

Click. Shift. Click. Shift.

John almost misses the movement near the office door, but his gun is in his hand before he’s even aware he’s reached for it.

“Whoa—Johnny?”

“Betty? What are you doing here?”

She’s in uniform, black hair pulled back, looking more worn than the last time he saw her. She glances over her shoulder before pulling the office door shut behind her.

“What am I doing here? What about you! Where the hell have you been? You know how to use a payphone? Snail mail? You just went dark with Mary like—”

John braces for more, and he’s got a few words ready himself, still stuck on her taking Mary’s side when she’d been his friend—but then her gaze shifts and lands on the kid.

“…oh. Who’s this?”

Emmanuel doesn’t look at her. He’s still fixated on the kaleidoscope, turning it in the light.

“Manny, eyes up,” John hisses. It’s not his kid or anything, but he still wants him to snap to—stand up straight, pay attention, act right. (He tries not to think about it—how he’ll be someone’s actual father, and soon.)

“This is Betty. She’s one of the good guys. Like me.”

Manny seems to get the message.

He sets the kaleidoscope down and slides off the bench, boots hitting the concrete with a disturbing lack of sound. He walks over to her, straight-backed, marching, and for a second John thinks, absurdly, that he’s about to offer his hand like they’re at some business meeting. But then the kid just stops. Looks up at her. Not shy—just… blank-faced, not engaging.

“Oh,” she breathes, frostiness melting away. “Well, aren’t you just precious?”

Yeah. Cute little bastard, really. Even John has to admit.

She crouches down in front of him, smiling wide and warm. “Look at you,” she continues, cooing. “You’re all dressed up like you’re expecting a rainstorm—”

Her hand lifts, reaching to straighten the front of his slicker—

—and John opens his mouth, but it’s already too late.

Emmanuel moves. Fast, like a striking viper, cracking the back of his hand against her wrist.

Betty jerks back with a startled gasp. “¡Ay, Dios mío!”

John huffs out a short laugh, not surprised in the slightest.

and he actually feels bad about it…

Thankfully, Cas digs the bullet out (like that time with Ion) and manages to heal up.

Dean goes ballistic and kicks John out till he can learn “not to be a fucking loose cannon on the job.”

Mary kinda shrugs about it and says not to worry… because she almost got Cas killed once, too. Anyway, Cas isn’t even mad about it; it was an honest mistake in this case.

When John (eventually) comes back into the fold, John joke-apologizes for “trying to recreate the end of The Time Traveler’s Wife.”

Ohhhhh. You're right. I do like it.

FIRST SEAL - JOHN'S PERMA-DEATH

That could recontextualize everything. That it wasn’t Dean shedding blood in Hell that was the breaking point—but John’s permanent death.

I like your idea that the seal partially cracked when Azazel first took John, but it fully shattered when John traded himself for Dean. This would be a fun way to explain why demons relentlessly baited John, pushing him into that sacrifice, and why in 14x13 Lebanon, there was no Apocalypse—because the key to triggering it never turned. The absence of John meant the end-of-days plan never ignited.

//

IN APOCALYPSE WORLD, JOHN STILL DIED

This theory works seamlessly with the AU Apocalypse-World as well. In that timeline, John’s permanent death still occurred, but much earlier, setting the Apocalypse in motion. Dean and Sam were not present, but the end of the world still unfolded due to the sealed fate that was already in motion.

//

JOHN NEVER BROKE IN HELL & MORE PROPAGANDA

I've read the theory that it was a lie that John was indestructible in Hell. Dean already carries so much blame for things he believes he’s responsible for, so to me, it’s not a stretch to consider that he was used as a scapegoat, that Dean was never the true First Seal in the first place.

If the higher-up angels knew the Apocalypse was always in motion, it might have been about rescuing Michael's vessel all along. The demons and angels manipulated Dean's guilt, making him believe he was the cause. Making Dean feel guilty? Well. That could have served to make him more malleable, preparing him to be a vessel for Michael. Couldn't it?

//

DESTROYING DEAN'S SELF-WORTH

I mean, John's sacrifice destroyed the last remnants of Dean's self-worth, which led directly to: "That's my point. Dad brought me back, Bobby. I'm not even supposed to be here. At least this way, something good could come out of it, you know? I--I--It's like my life could mean something." Being pegged as the one who started all this? Well, that's just a different angle for doing the same thing. Wearing him down. It's a direct line to: "Reality happened. Nuclear’s the only option we have left. Michael can ice the devil, save a boatload of people...Yeah, well, that’s easy for you to say. But if Lucifer burns this mother down, and I coulda done something about it, guess what? That’s on me."

I will have fun with this. Thanks so much: