âYour car?â
-> Deanâs.
âYour destiny?â
-> Deanâs.
âYouâre just a seed, John. You donât matter.â
///
Or, when John remembers Dean picked out the car / finds out about his destiny
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âYour car?â
-> Deanâs.
âYour destiny?â
-> Deanâs.
âYouâre just a seed, John. You donât matter.â
///
Or, when John remembers Dean picked out the car / finds out about his destiny

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@xenon-xi mad
Fic idea where john is on the phone with millie and at first he's like, "MOM!!!!111 something's up i think mary's cheating on me,"  đ đ đ đ đ
and millie rolls her eyes and SCOFFS because, "you think you can get advice from ME? I got LEFT." đ
john cries a little and millie says,
"sorry, kiddo guess you take after me" đ
//
but over time the calls get more and more frantic
and then john is saying "remember how her dad died of a heart attack?' well she said she and her mom had a falling out, and i was thinking she could bury the hatchet and AT LEAST let her mom meet little dean, you know? He's NAMED after her!!!!! and i mean, this's her grandson!!!111 BUT. BUT she said she'd stop speaking to me forever if i reached out"
-- and at this point, john is pacing with the phone, and millie is rolling her eyes on the other side of the line (because everyone needs to gaslight john ok it's essential so he gets more crazy) --
but ANYWAY.
at this point john is like, "finding people was my thing in the marines i was GOOD at tracking, it's what i'm GOOD at and I -- I CAN'T FIND HER, MOM. I MET HER AND I CAN'T FIND HER-- she's NOT at her OWN house and WHERE IS SHE i canât find a record of samuelâs death either⌠there should be a death certificate"
and millie IS disturbed by that but shrugs it off with a joke, "so, what? you think your wife is an ax murderer or something???"
and then john says, "don't be ridiculous... but wait, do you think..."
and millie is like "no, john. it was just a joke. jfc"
and john is like "do you think something happened to her mom too??? it was weird, the night her dad died, and-- idk i could SWEAR he was bleeding, so like⌠what if it was a mafia hit or something????â
john THINKS he hears a little intake of breath, but it's DEFINITELY not millie, and then john goes very still like OMG SURELY MARY IS NOT LISTENING IN
(she is)
and millie is like "john? john?"
then john launches into his and his mom's version of Poughkeepsie and start talking about music and casablanca and millie is like, "I think i'll come over for a visit and help w the baby"
john thinks he hears a soft click of the line
(mary, again)
then millie says "i love you and i'll see you soon"
When John finds out that Dean and Cas might be a thing, he's so relieved that Cas isn't dating Mary that he's over the fuckin moon
John hauls the garage door up with a rattling shove, metal grinding loud and echoing in a way that, given how the past twenty-four hours have gone, makes him want to duck and cover. The door sticks halfway, like it always does, and he jerks it the rest of the way, letting the late afternoon sun spill across the concrete.
For a second, he just stands there.
His momâs workstation is exactly how it always isâalways had been. Scattered tools on the picnic table, the same chipped ceramic coffee cup sitting off to the side. If not for the fine layer of dust, heâd think she was still here.
He shakes himself out of it.
âCâmon,â he mutters over his shoulder. âWeâll be safer here. Before my mom and I went off hunting together, we made sure to lock this place down with all kinds of monster warding. Thereâs other safe places we can go, but we need to take a minute. Reset.â
Behind him, small rubber boots scuff against the concrete as the kidâs slow, too-measured footsteps tread into the room. John clicks on a couple of the work lights, then pulls the garage door shut again.
Emmanuel takes in the room with just his eyes, barely moving his head. No wasted motion. Kidâs either wired like a sniper, or heâs got The Shining in him. âSit there,â John says, nodding toward the picnic bench. âI can find you something to eat. We got canned beans and chili, probably.â
The kid climbs up onto the bench with that same strange, ninja-like precision he does everything with. His feet dangle, a few inches shy of the floor. âI donât think Iâm hungry.â
âCook picks the meal,â John snaps automaticallyâand then winces. Jesus. He sounds just like his mom. He exhales, scrubs a hand over his face. âI mean⌠you donât gotta clean your plate or anything, but youâre gonna try. Okay?â
The kid looks at him, eyes narrow under the brim of that little bucket hat. John canât help itâsomething about it makes him grin, makes him think of Gilligan.
âOkay,â the kid says.
âOkay,â John echoes, already turning away. Then to himself, more quietly: âOkay.â
He rummages through one of the storage bins in the cornerâhis momâs emergency stash, all canned goods and non-perishablesâthe cans clinking as he shifts things around. Over his shoulder, he sees the kid pull out that cheap kaleidoscope John had handed him in the car.
He starts turning it, slow, steady.
Click. Shift. Click. Shift.
John almost misses the movement near the office door, but his gun is in his hand before heâs even aware heâs reached for it.
âWhoaâJohnny?â
âBetty? What are you doing here?â
Sheâs in uniform, black hair pulled back, looking more worn than the last time he saw her. She glances over her shoulder before pulling the office door shut behind her.
âWhat am I doing here? What about you! Where the hell have you been? You know how to use a payphone? Snail mail? You just went dark with Mary likeââ
John braces for more, and heâs got a few words ready himself, still stuck on her taking Maryâs side when sheâd been his friendâbut then her gaze shifts and lands on the kid.
ââŚoh. Whoâs this?â
Emmanuel doesnât look at her. Heâs still fixated on the kaleidoscope, turning it in the light.
âManny, eyes up,â John hisses. Itâs not his kid or anything, but he still wants him to snap toâstand up straight, pay attention, act right. (He tries not to think about itâhow heâll be someoneâs actual father, and soon.)
âThis is Betty. Sheâs one of the good guys. Like me.â
Manny seems to get the message.
He sets the kaleidoscope down and slides off the bench, boots hitting the concrete with a disturbing lack of sound. He walks over to her, straight-backed, marching, and for a second John thinks, absurdly, that heâs about to offer his hand like theyâre at some business meeting. But then the kid just stops. Looks up at her. Not shyâjust⌠blank-faced, not engaging.
âOh,â she breathes, frostiness melting away. âWell, arenât you just precious?â
Yeah. Cute little bastard, really. Even John has to admit.
She crouches down in front of him, smiling wide and warm. âLook at you,â she continues, cooing. âYouâre all dressed up like youâre expecting a rainstormââ
Her hand lifts, reaching to straighten the front of his slickerâ
âand John opens his mouth, but itâs already too late.
Emmanuel moves. Fast, like a striking viper, cracking the back of his hand against her wrist.
Betty jerks back with a startled gasp. âÂĄAy, Dios mĂo!â
John huffs out a short laugh, not surprised in the slightest.
âYeah.â He lifts his bandaged wrist with a small, crooked, not-entirely-comfortable smile. âHe doesnât let anyone do that.â

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While on a hunt in the woods during fog/poor visibility, post-Lebanon John accidentally shoots Cas with angel-blade (!!!!) bullets
and he actually feels bad about itâŚ
Thankfully, Cas digs the bullet out (like that time with Ion) and manages to heal up.
Dean goes ballistic and kicks John out till he can learn ânot to be a fucking loose cannon on the job.â
Mary kinda shrugs about it and says not to worry⌠because she almost got Cas killed once, too. Anyway, Cas isnât even mad about it; it was an honest mistake in this case.
When John (eventually) comes back into the fold, John joke-apologizes for âtrying to recreate the end of The Time Travelerâs Wife.â
Dean almost kicks him out again. On principle.
I thought you'd like this: that it wasn't Dean shedding blood in Hell that was the first seal but KILLING JOHN WINCHESTER. The seal partially broke when Azazel felled him the first time and PERMANENTLY broke when John traded himself for Dean. That's why the demons worked so hard to bait him and draw him out. That's why in Lebanon there was no Apocalypse. John was the first seal. John was ALWAYS the first seal.
Ohhhhh. You're right. I do like it.
FIRST SEAL - JOHN'S PERMA-DEATH
That could recontextualize everything. That it wasnât Dean shedding blood in Hell that was the breaking pointâbut Johnâs permanent death.
I like your idea that the seal partially cracked when Azazel first took John, but it fully shattered when John traded himself for Dean. This would be a fun way to explain why demons relentlessly baited John, pushing him into that sacrifice, and why in 14x13 Lebanon, there was no Apocalypseâbecause the key to triggering it never turned. The absence of John meant the end-of-days plan never ignited.
//
IN APOCALYPSE WORLD, JOHN STILL DIED
This theory works seamlessly with the AU Apocalypse-World as well. In that timeline, Johnâs permanent death still occurred, but much earlier, setting the Apocalypse in motion. Dean and Sam were not present, but the end of the world still unfolded due to the sealed fate that was already in motion.
//
JOHN NEVER BROKE IN HELL & MORE PROPAGANDA
I've read the theory that it was a lie that John was indestructible in Hell. Dean already carries so much blame for things he believes heâs responsible for, so to me, itâs not a stretch to consider that he was used as a scapegoat, that Dean was never the true First Seal in the first place.
If the higher-up angels knew the Apocalypse was always in motion, it might have been about rescuing Michael's vessel all along. The demons and angels manipulated Dean's guilt, making him believe he was the cause. Making Dean feel guilty? Well. That could have served to make him more malleable, preparing him to be a vessel for Michael. Couldn't it?
//
DESTROYING DEAN'S SELF-WORTH
I mean, John's sacrifice destroyed the last remnants of Dean's self-worth, which led directly to: "That's my point. Dad brought me back, Bobby. I'm not even supposed to be here. At least this way, something good could come out of it, you know? I--I--It's like my life could mean something." Being pegged as the one who started all this? Well, that's just a different angle for doing the same thing. Wearing him down. It's a direct line to: "Reality happened. Nuclearâs the only option we have left. Michael can ice the devil, save a boatload of people...Yeah, well, thatâs easy for you to say. But if Lucifer burns this mother down, and I coulda done something about it, guess what? Thatâs on me."
I will have fun with this. Thanks so much: