Sleep My Little Dora
To make sure no one steals our horses or carriage daddy pays a local man to keep watch. Cause the stew pot is hot and momma Bilmin carries the basket of bread up the flights of stairs, it's my job to run up before them to open the exit door. Down the hallway, sounds of children crying and faint yelling can be heard through the walls. When we get to the Oxoro's door, I can hear the sounds of gunshots. They're watching television, most likely an illegal film. Movies of any kind aren't allowed unless they’re filmed from home or shown on one of the government approved channels.
Eddy opens the door by just a crack. He peeks out and I'm the first he focuses his eyes on. My cheeks feel warm. Spotting daddy he opens the door wide and steps aside. In here, normally empty, it's full of people who turn away from the television to see who it is. On the sofa sit Mr Oxoro, a woman and another man. On the floor is Vano, outside the window is Omarion talking to someone out of view, i assume it’s Felix. Next to him, with her foot inside is a girl that catches my eye.
At first she looks like a boy. Fluffy short hair sticks out the front of her backwards hat, she wears a big green shirt and black shorts. Her socks too big for her skinny ankles, they fall loosely off her foot.
Mr Oxoro stands up once he sees daddy and helps momma Bilmin with the basket. He welcomes us in the house and introduces us to everyone. When he says my name everyone turns to look at my arm. Including Felix who peeks in. I'm guessing they know about what happened.
"That's my sister Jenae, her husband Otto", Mr Oxoro points, "eldest you've met Vano, that at the window is Jocabeth and", he chuckles, "the little one is Abie". From the small hallway a girl sticks her head out the Oxoro sons room. "You go on Isadora", Mr Oxoro says to me, "boy been excited to see you". This brings out a big smile on my face.
In the room, across from the door, Efrain lays in his bed. He smiles wide and calls me to go closer. "It's okay, Eddy made sure to clean everythin' up and i got my shots", regardless of what he says, I still run and give him the biggest hug. "Oof", he goes and chuckles.
"Efrain!" I yelp, "so much has happened, so much i wanna tell you", I chant happily. He chuckles and looks at my cast. "I bet", he says.
I spill the second I sit on the middle bed, Felix's. I tell Efrain about being so alone during lunch and after school. How I tried to be better friends with Wendy and the other kids we play with when I come over, but none were as fun to be around. I tell him how one day I had an extra piece of bread and spotted Ari sitting all alone. "Ari?", he asks. "Yeah, Arielle", "Arielle!?", Efrain exclaims with his eyes wide. Excitedly I tell him about all the fun that I've had with her. How every day in lunch and after school we spend time together. How at home we always play games or play outside with the animals. I don’t admit we play dolls the most. I laugh when I tell him about getting lost in the shopping center in Littleburg, taking a bath with her and then working in the farm as punishment. I tell him about being in trouble for lying, having to work in the farm as punishment and getting injured riding Milk. I also mention taking Ari home before coming here but I never tell him about the kisses.The one she gave me the other night and the one I gave her this afternoon. Secrets I plan to keep forever.
With a big smile on his face Efrain talks about how glad he is that Ari and me are friends, how excited he is to talk with her when he goes back to school and playing around in my house. I've also decided not to mention how much she doesn't like him.
"Ya'll sound like Vano and Bethy. Girls, girls, girls, i'm tired of it, so can we please finish watchin’ Lizard Sphere A", Abie snaps and rolls her eyes at us. Efrain and I laugh but neither pays attention to the animated show, instead he shows me all the drawings he's drawn while in bed rest.
While he shows me some really cool ones of me and him being space men and Abie choking in the background, I can't help but to stare at him the same way I did to Ari earlier. Last I saw him, Efrain's wasn’t this skinny. He practically resembles Ari, whom he used to be a little bigger-than. He's also a lot more pale and sickly like his momma. His eyes are sunken and his cheekbones stick out. He looks like he's at the verge of death with only a smile keeping him alive.
"Y'all come eat", Jocabeth says at the door. She leans in with a bored look on her face, like nothing is cool enough for her. For a split second, I wish I was her. I stare at my light orange dress, my frilly, itchy socks and white, shiny belted shoes. I pull on a curl that already rests on my hand, how I wish I were as comfortable as her. In the living room, I stare at her nonstop taking in her personality. Everyone laughs at everything she says, eating a piece of cooked lettuce from her soup with her hands, burping as loud as she wants, joking and laughing so care free. If I ever ate with my hands and burped that loud i'd be in trouble. I wish I was funny too.
While we all enjoy momma Bilmin’s cooking, the adults talk amongst themselves, they mention the cost of living and how the president doesn't care about us. This catches my attention.
"Some bloke started a union a few months ago, found'em dead in a ditch and a lot of folk got fired. They ain't waste a second though, next day the factory was full of new workers", Eddy says. He looks irritated and waves his arms with annoyance.
"It's like we brought bad luck or some", Jenae ways touching her forehead. She looks upset.
"Naw auntie, there was rumors 'bout this from the start. I'm just worried 'bout findin' another job", Eddy says thoughtful.
"I'm in need of some hands", daddy speaks up with a shrug, "c'mon Asmel, I've told you this", daddy turns to Mr Oxoro.
The conversation goes on and on until everyone agrees that Eddy and Vano start working for daddy from now on. Apparently Mr Oxoro's sister and family were kicked out of their home from a shark? Now they live here and will be staying until they get the money to move out. Daddy invites Mr Otto to work in our ranch too but he jokes that he's one of the new workers in the meat factory. Mrs Jenae claims she cares for Mrs Oxoro and the kids. In a way, it makes me happy to hear someone is here to care for my best friend.
After dinner we all sit in front of the television. Blowing a bubble with her gum, Jocabeth puts a movie in the VCR. "A classic", Mr Oxoro says hugging his wife who's wheelchair has been rolled right next to him. On her lap sits Efrain snuggling with her arm and next to momma Bilmin, I hold her hand and watch, occasionally turning my gaze out the window. There Felix, Eddy, Omarion, Vano and Jocabeth joke about. I wish I was old enough to hang out with them.
The movie starts off in a dessert, how humanity has decayed and withered except for a couple of people living like ferals. They fight for food and water, some even fight for money. Those wanting to be rich steal from those already poor and hungry, "not far from the truth", Mr Oxoro says. Just as I fully invest myself into the movie my thumb reminds me of all the times I bumped my hand on to something. I try to keep the pain to myself but its not until I can't ignore it that I speak up. Daddy uses this as an excuse to go home, says my pain medication has worn off and he forgot it. Jenae, who's been eyeing daddy all night is the first to hug us goodbye. She bumps into my hand. I'd shriek, drop and die but I don't want the older kids to think i'm a wuss. Instead I hold on to the tears in until we leave the apartment.
On the way home I silently cry so much I fall asleep only to wake up when I feel my hand hit the bed. Daddy's carried me inside, taken off my socks and gives me kiss before he leaves. I don't know for how long I sleep until I'm woken up again.
The lights in my room are turned on, I shut my eyes tight and cover my face with my arm. Someone slaps my hand off my face, forcing me to look at them.
"What is this I hear bout you kissin' girls?", momma snaps at me. "That. Is. Disgusting. You hear me? Where have you seen women kissin' other women?" She raises her voice angrily. Momma Bilmin, woken up, comes out her room and into mines. Momma explains to her how I kissed Ari on the lips just this afternoon. She says it grossed out as if I had stepped on poop and got in bed.
"She ain't hurtin' nobody!", momma Bilmin snaps at momma. Daddy walks in my room too, he stands in between them just as momma Bilmin tries to get in momma’s face. My warm tears quietly roll down my face just like they did on the way home, only now the pain is in my chest. I've never made momma this mad before. She ain't ever yell at me this loud either.
"No, no, no!", momma yells pushing daddy’s arm away and turns to me. "I don't wanna see that little red head in my house ever again, you hear me?" She connects her thumbs with her index fingers, making her point. "I don't wanna see or hear bout you kissin' girls, Dora! When? Where has she seen any of this? Sure as hell not from me!", she screams and walks out the room still scolding me from the hallway. Daddy shoots me a look of worry and goes after momma. The rest of the night I sleep in momma Bilmin's room. She combs my hair with her fingers, sings a lullaby and assures me there's nothing wrong with liking who I like. Still, I cry until I've fallen back asleep with only one thought in mind. Liking girls is not normal, it's gross. Momma said so.
