judgement: awakening, resurrection, absolution; “Why did you have to do this?!”
For JikuPiku?
basically part of this universe. enjoy!
A part of her always knew.
That last night, they were lying in bed. Pieck was snuggled into his chest as he lit a cigarette. The windows were open and they could hear the loud buzz of chatter and the wheels dragging along the cobblestone.
Zeke hadn't entertained any conversation that had come with the afterglow. When she asked, he just held her closer, uncharacteristically mumbling words of love and devotion into the crown of her head.
Something was very, very wrong.
And her question was answered the next night when it had become more than a little clear what he ended up doing.
She loved him, but she'd never been able to completely trust him. Naively — no, foolishly — she'd thought love would be enough for both of them. When she awoke in the hospital wing the following afternoon, her eyes had opened both literally and figuratively.
Love wasn't enough. It was never going to be enough. She just wanted to know why, though. Then, maybe, she could let him go.
She kept her warring emotions in check when the Jaegers were thrown in imprison. She couldn't meet their eyes. How could she? She couldn't do anything for them without being caught in the cross hairs.
She'd placed the wedding ring in a drawer at her father's apartment before leaving. She never looked back. She swallowed the pain and she pushed the urge to scream so far back that she'd barely be able to feel it.
She had broken the plan at one point. She was going to find Zeke, she was going to get it out of him. Then she was going to turn her back on him, their marriage, and the memories of all those nights they'd been tangled in the sheets of his bed.
Easier said than done, in all honesty.
They were keeping him in a cell. She'd been walking along with her face buried in a newspaper and there were mutterings among the officers.
And, she was embarrassed to admit, she stole a rookie's uniform, slipping in without being noticed.
She kept her head down, looking unassuming. No one spared her a second glance. She knew how to blend right in and she already had a million lies ready.
They would be keeping him separate from his brother, of that much she could be sure.
It was a relatively large prison cell with a large window. It was located slightly below ground, just enough to get the barest sunlight. There were still torches lit around them. She could hear drops of water in the distance and possibly rats scurrying around. Whatever, she's been in worse places.
He sat on the bed, his nose buried in his favorite book. He wasn't the least bit troubled or guilt-ridden. He seemed relaxed if anything.
Pieck approached the bars, stopping in front of the door as she looked on at the man she thought she loved and whom she thought loved her.
"I was wondering when you'd show up." He didn't look up, not once.
She didn't have an answer for him. She wasn't in the mood for it.
"Why?" she asked, her words barely a whisper. "Why did you do this?"
Her voice was strangled, wishing she could stop feeling anything for him. She was the wrong person for this and she knew that but, damn, he owed her an explanation.
At their secret wedding a year ago, wasn't this one of their oaths? To be honest with each other?
He put his book down and now, he met her gaze. His eyes softened in that way that used to get her to melt into his arms and like an idiot, she used to fall for his charms.
She didn't completely trust him, she never had. So how did she keep falling for it? Why was she falling for it now? Why was it making her so weak to her goddamn knees?
"I am sorry, my dear Pieck. I really am, sweetheart."
He sounded almost sincere. Almost.
"That's not an answer," she kept her voice steady. "Why? What was the point of all this? What are you trying to do?"
Tell me, damn you. Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! I'm your wife. Does that mean ANYTHING to you?
Then there's this sad smile on his face and once again, her knees are wobbling. No, she can't fall for this again!
"You'll know soon enough. It's better this way."
And that's all he left her with because the door swung open and she could hear footsteps thundering towards them. Damn it, damn it…
She'd have to come back later. Would there even be a later?
"You better go," Zeke said, staying firmly in place as he picks up his book. He didn't even try to walk over and come close. She couldn't even touch his hand. Maybe he didn't want to. Maybe that was his weakness.
But don't flatter yourself.
She couldn't come back here again so she really was on her own.
She walked away without another word. There were no tears. She was just holding the shattered pieces of her heart together. He would never see her weak or vulnerable again. She'd woken up. And it was the worst feeling.
And she'd never fall for his sweet words ever again.
Her chest hurt because she loved him. She would always love him. And that would be her curse till the day she died.
