#jkidding

but it's probably not that weird. 

so

(lil backtory: wouter loves to touch or cup my butt and/or stick his finger up my buttcrack. the gays are really in violation of a lot) 

1. Aako and I were getting ready to leave while i was finishing some flashcards and he was putting on his socks (because he was playing barefoot) and he like medium-pressurely bopped my butt with his sock and said something like "ha im wouter" or something just i just kinda half smiled/half smirked at him because i just had NO concept of what to do and tried to break the tension by like saying the singsongy "wooooter" thing. idk. didnt handle it great 

2. he just like as he was getting ready doing something with his belt like rebuckling it but it was while we were talking and i just had a really hard time looking him in the eye and not at his penis and he was just maintaining too much eyecontact (to be fair i did maybe undress kind of in front of him but it was 4 am on a saturday and dark and we all needed sleep and i needed his shirt for pajamas) 

3. he is just sometimes very close to me which is actually really nice but at some point he like came to the piano where i was standing and he came right up next to me and my hand was like resting on the edge of the piano so he/i brushed like right where the like lower stomach turns into genitals and he just looked at me kinda and i didnt know what to do and slowly moved my hand away while talking as not to draw attention to it.

BUT THEN 

4. we were talking about like religion and like bigger things and he said something about loving his girlfriend so H A L T. 

5. w h a t.

6. W H A T?!?! 

7. DO YOU SEE HOW THIS IS CONFUSING AND WEIRD? BECAUSE THEN

8. gave me a HUGE goodbye hug and kinda lifted me up and wouldnt let go and 

9. do you see my problem here?

10. im gonna talk to wouter about it tomorrow. im sweatin this french test. 

- a very confused and sexually frustrated sabrina 

PS. he's a virgin so its not like hes just being a lil whore and seducing me/tryna cheat on his gf so i need to know whatsup with that.