#jk-i

I have a headcanon that ever since everyone met up some trolls and humans have gradually become very cuddly people, and Karkat and Jade started liking each other after they designated one another as each other’s cuddle buddy 

Imagine Jade wanting to cuddle with Karkat and he tries to be the "big spoon" (something she'd told him about, but with no troll comparison). He's only just barely taller than her and can't figure out why his elbows are digging into her ribcage in this whole process. Jade just flips over and remedies the issue, curling around him instead.

Imagine Jade an Karkat get invited to John and Jane's birthday parties but Karkat just spends the whole time ogling at Jade in her party dress and Jade tries to pretend that she hasn't noticed. (They break party poppers in each other's faces later, and he passes out from a sugar rush induced by seven consecutive pieces of cake)

I could talk about troll Jade Harley for years Troll Jade Harley au where she's an aspiring romcom actress because she likes trolls that make her laugh Karkat going to one of her plays in their high school and becoming utterly smitten Troll Jade Harley thinking the shouty guy that's always in the front row is pretty cute Her eyes cutting toward him when she's talking to her love interest Karkat blushing enough to make apples and strawberries be jealous of his color Her asking him out on stage, to her play's love interest, yet she's facing him. His quiet, choked sounding "hell yes"

I want to write a jadekat poetry/prose thing about them being reincarnated over and over on earth, as humans, and the last time they were together they had gotten married and grew old together And it ends with "You never one to smile so quick, but as the light left your eyes, you told me you finally got your place among the stars. Perhaps I should've taken you literally, instead of thinking you had left me forever."

Jade and Teal!Karkat's first conversations with each other (AKA Karkat the coffee activist) carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG] at 13:04 CG: ALRIGHT, SO LET’S JUST LAY THIS ALL OUT ON THE TABLE. CG: THIS IS YOUR GOD SPEAKING, YOUR ULTIMATE JUDGE, SO I ASSUME YOU SHOULD BE TAKING NOTES. CG: I SUGGEST THAT HIGHLY DELECTABLE LIME NOTEPAD TO THE RIGHT. GG: karkat what the hell CG: EXCUSE ME. CG: FIRST OF ALL, HOW DARE YOU ADDRESS ME LIKE THAT, YOU SMALL CHOCOLATE-FLAVORED MONKEY. GG: oh my god youre so embarrassing GG: i want to block you just to save yourself the embarrassment later oh my gosh i didnt think it would be this bad CG: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN “EMBARRASSING MYSELF”. CG: THE ONLY THING EMBARRASSING HERE IS YOUR UTTER LACK OF SUBORDINATION. CG: WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT OF YOUR DUMBASS BROCCOLI AND BLUEBERRY PLANET (WHICH TASTES LIKE ****SHIT**** BY THE WAY), IF YOU CAN’T EVEN FOLLOW YOUR GOD? GG: did you just say earth tastes like broccoli GG: are you doing that thing where you lick your laptop screen CG: ... GG: oh man you totally are GG: i already know about your dumb superiority complex from seven hours ago, stupid! GG: i dont even want to see you TYPE anymore because the secondhand embarrassment is so great that im getting actual anxiety from it! GG: are you going to start talking about my coffeemaker some more? GG: how about declaring yourself god of everything just because you stick your dumb tongue all over everything instead of actually looking at it! carcinoGeneticist [CG] has blocked gardenGnostic [GG]! carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG] at 06:24 CG: OKAY SO I HONESTLY DON’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I JUST DID BUT I FEEL LIKE IT’S YOUR FAULT. GG: excuse me? GG: who are you? CG: OH DON’T PLAY DUMB WITH ME, JADE HUMAN. CG: YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO I AM. CG: YOU JUST WALTZED INTO MY TEXTBOX, ALL “what the hell karkat” AND THEN PICKED ON MY BLINDNESS! GG: why would i even do that? GG: it’s six in the morning i dont have time for this! CG: WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD’VE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEFORE YOU PICKED ON A BLIND GUY, ASSHOLE! CG: I’M GOING TO LAY THE RECORD STRAIGHT EVEN IF IT TAKES AN ENTIRE TRI-LUNAR YEAR. CG: YOU, JADE HARLEY, SPECIES, HUMAN, ARE GOING TO COME BEFORE THE COURT AND EXPLAIN WHY YOU FEEL IT’S JUSTIFIED TO JUST PICK ON A GUY’S BLINDNESS. CG: WOULD YOU FEEL WORSE IF I HAD A DOG TO LEAD ME AROUND? WOULD THAT FINALLY GARNER YOUR SYMPATHY TO MY SITUATION? GG: you know GG: for a blind guy GG: you are really good at using the computer CG: HOW ABOUT YOU GO UPSTAIRS AND BREW YOURSELF A NICE CUP OF SHUT THE HELL UP IN THAT KEURIG COFFEE MAKER THAT IS ABOUT TWENTY BEATLES TOO EXPENSIVE. CG: ASIDE FROM YOUR ABLEIST TENDENCIES, I SHOULD TAKE YOUR ASS TO COURT JUST FOR **THINKING** ABOUT BUYING THAT PIECE OF SHIT. CG: THOSE K-CUP PRICES SHOULD’VE BEEN ENOUGH FOR YOU TO TURN YOUR NOSE AWAY BUT YOU ARE APPARENTLY NOT SMART ENOUGH TO DECIPHER DECENT COFFEE PRICES. GG: how did you know i bought a keurig???? GG: urgggg i do not have the time to shoot an intruder GG: how did you even get to my island anyway? CG: THERE YOU GO AGAIN, MAKING ASSUMPTIONS. I DON’T NEED TO BE ON YOUR ISLAND TO SEE YOU, STUPID. MY SPECIES SURPASSES YOURS IN EVERY ASPECT, INCLUDING TECHNOLOGY. GG: so youre one of those creepy roleplaying guys GG: i just got up okay GG: creep on me later or something GG: im tired okay CG: I AM NOT CREEPY. YOU’RE THE CREEPY ONE, TALKING ABOUT SHOOTING AND ROLEPLAYING AND SHIT. CG: I SAW WHAT YOU DID YESTERDAY, TELLING THE DAVE HUMAN ABOUT HIS FUTURE AND EVERYTHING LIKE YOU’RE SO MIGHTY. CG: THAT’S, LIKE, BLASPHEMY. YOU’RE BLASPHEMOUS AGAINST THE BLIND PROPHETS. CG: ALL 413 OF THEM GG: URGGGGGGGG gardenGnostic [GG] has blocked carcinoGeneticist [CG] CG: HA! GOT YOU!

Jade and Karkat do the trust fall thing and Karkat is so prepared to sweep her up in the arms. And then. She's a lot heavier than the broom her practiced with and all that happens is that his spine makes a cushy landing for when she falls. (She's the one that sweeps him up in her arms in the end)

Karkat and Jade dancing basically translates to the two of them hurting each other's feet and Jade walking away with broken high heels and Karkat limping away with holes in his shoes.