Inspired by the song Toothbrush by DNCE. I like it so much even until now haha, for you who hasn’t heard it, go check here! Enjoy!
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Her phone buzzed madly on the night stand, bumped into tin of the scented candle placed next to it, making it sounds even worse during the dawn. She groaned under the weight of an arm wrapped her waist tightly. Blindly reaching her phone, she just hoped it wasn’t her daily alarm even though it seems impossible for the only sounds like that would be her phone telling her to wake up and start her day.
6.23
“Oh, why,” she rolled her limb and saw the face of the other person who looks like a baby bear taking a nap peacefully, “How can you look this cute while sleeping?”
She wiped the sweat gathered on his nose and landed a quick peck on it.
“I need to leave, Babe.”
“Grhmhhrll.”
Chuckles released from her lips, her boyfriend’s certainly not a morning person, poles apart with her who took time in the morning to pamper herself. Nevertheless, she removed his arm and stepped her feet on the floor, grimace instantly hanging on her face when the coldness greeted her skin. She reached the nearest t-shirt splattered to her and threw it over her head, stretched her back a bit and paced around the room to find her purse.
He squint his eyes, complaining about how he deserves more sleep to knock out the jet lag. In between reality, he caught her collecting her stuffs, naked legs with his worn out t-shirt barely covering her ass globes. Such a beautiful view in the morning, but also such frustrating to fight the drowsiness when the sun is not even come out.
“Why so early in the morning..”
She walked back to the bed, soothing his back and peppering his milky shoulder with kisses.
“Lee Jinki, I have a class at 10 remember? And I need to go back home change my clothes and everything.”
The school she was teaching in is not that far from his apartment, actually. However, her place is forty minutes away from his, forcing her to do double commute to show up decent enough in front of those little kids. Sometimes she envy his job very much. Being a chef, if it’s not the purchasing day, he will leave the house to the restaurant only after lunch.
“Come on, I’m going to wash my face then send me off will you?”
It’s been two weeks they didn’t see each other because she was in charge with the annual student trip and he was visiting wine and food convention in Tuscany. Beside the amazing sex, she missed the quick lunch dates and the night in – basically his presence – so bad, no wonder she became extra clingy since the dinner last night.
“Okay, I really need to pee. When I get back here, I expect you to kiss me sober.”
He didn’t answer but she turned her heels anyway for she cannot hold the nature’s call anymore. After done with the business, she took small towel from the drawer next to the sink to dry her face later. What she didn’t realize until she faced the mirror is there are two toothbrushes attached on it. One is green and the other is pink.
Before she had the thoughts of him cheating behind her back, she caught the small letters engraved on each toothbrush. She practically threw the towel away and leaves the bathroom immediately just to find him back to sleep, now back facing her direction.
“You saw it?”
He asked, with the sexier sleepy voice ever in her opinion, when he felt her hand slipped under his arm and stroke his chest painstakingly slowly, while resting her head by the crook of his neck. Smile started creeping up his face.
“What is that?”
“Time-saver, Boonie.”
“Time-saver?”
He turned himself to see her better, even with blurry vision, she still looks stunning for him. He planted a lazy kiss on her lips before giving his answer.
“This way you can stay here longer and I can cuddle more.”
She cannot hide her excitement anymore. After sharing one long kiss, she dragged herself to strangle him, sitting dangerously at his lower abdomen, both faces gleaming with too much affection toward each other.
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Don't say I didn't say, I didn't warn ya
Eighty seven. Eighty eight. Eighty nine.
What day is it again? He kept both eyes shut; it doesn’t seem to have any difference at this moment. All is pitch black, sunrise looks like midnight and the dawn appears like an eternity without any sheer of light. Last night, he has another weird dream, a term he agreed with himself to call it as a replacement for nightmare. It’s not frightening, it’s just odd.
In that dream he was standing in an undefined vast space full of shadow passing by and among those absurd creatures he caught a smile. Just smile, as if it’s floating on the air instead of belong to particular face. The smile was familiar for the Jinki in his dream. However, the sober Jinki could never tell who that is which stressed him way too far for a merely form of hallucination.
He stirred under the blanket. The uncomfortable weight of the mounds of cotton forced him to kick the poor duvet. Too heavy, it just flopped back to its position, only to irritate him even further. Palms pressed to his face, he wished the instant friction on the skin washed over the weariness.
But of course he could only wish.
Ninety. Ninety one. Ninety two.
There’s a slight crack on the wooden beams on his ceiling that he noticed just now. After he gave up and checked the life rotating around him. He then wondered, for how long the crack has been there. And how come it didn’t catch his attention before today? Random calculation of the bending moment and load combination suddenly came up inside his twisted mind, occupy the vacant space he’s been neglecting these past weeks.
He blinks, one and two. His vision’s projecting the same image, hypnotizing in a way, hinting a pinch of motion sickness as a precaution. The crack’s there, still, visually concerning, but seemed like it doesn’t bother the whole structure supporting the floor above. From down there, the crack is simply filling the gap, completing the entire system.
He wished the crack in his heart is as static as that. But of course, he could only wish.
Ninety three. Ninety four. Ninety five.
Distorted and obscure, that’s how everything’s pictured behind his closed back eyes. The timeline of his memory is jumbled, it’s patchy at the edge and fragmented inside and out. How it happened, he couldn’t tell. But how it felt, he had at least half of the dictionary to complain about it. About how unfair it is, about how agonizing it is.
One moment in life, he’s seeing how happy Gwiboon talked about his corny jokes which deadly annoying but actually helping her dealing with the pressure of the fashion week at the same time. Any other second, he went red when the fraction of his memory flashed, force him to dredge up how he screamed directly to her face like a mad man, asking what kind of joke she was pulling out. She said she desperately wants to spend their bubble together, a little longer, until the day turns week, and week turns months. Then again she also stormed out the room on the next day, all drenched and broken, mimicking the same hazard occurred inside his chest.
Gwiboon is more than a crush, more than a fling, more than a good catch he discovered across the field. He wished she wasn’t.
But of course, again, he could only wish.
Ninety six. Ninety seven.
Men can only wish, the sky, at the end, would be the one who decide was it worth to be granted or not. He spent a whole night in secluded beach, a hideout place he learnt from his grandfather, screaming to the far high sky, but the wound unfastened wider. At some point he admits, he was partly responsible. He wanted – and loved – the idea of a relationship, but terribly in fear for the actual relationship.
What’s bad for being in a relationship? You idiot, Lee Jinki! He cursed silently, for the thousand times already this week. That if he didn’t count words spilled out his mouth when he was unconscious.
Ninety eight. Ninety nine.
Jinki can list at least ten reasons in less than five minutes why he didn’t pull his ass together and man up telling Gwiboon his feeling instead dropping some barricade with the whole being-casual-and-let’s-not-put-any-label-on-it shenanigans. And out of those ten reasons, none of them because of something that Gwiboon did. Or feel.
After all, he has no heart to blame her.
Hundred.
***
It’s easy to put a mask around the house, especially with a father who’s that busy and a mother who recently found a new hobby in her flower arrangement club. Unfortunately, not when a little devil descendant like Lee Taemin is actually present.
Jinki is about to go out, suffocated inside his room and suddenly feeling skimpy with just helplessly cuddling his pillow. He finally charged his phone and took his iPod out from the dock. While the other family members are somewhere scattered between living room and the kitchen, he managed to take a very quick shower and put on some presentable clothes.
Today, he opted to pick brown-maroon sweater, attempt to distinguish his feeling after last week his Mom was complaining about all the black dirty laundry he piled up making her doubling the effort doing the laundry since she had to separate all those clothes to not ruin each other. He snatched pair of jeans carelessly and as if all the constellations are lined up to pinch a joke on him, it happened to be the cropped jeans Kim Gwiboon decided to put her magic on it a while ago.
“Do you like the idea of me making you clothes?”
Jinki looked up for just a second before focused back on the contemporary art book on his hands, “What does that supposed to mean? Sounds really domestic on my ears just now.”
“Oh, please. I just asked permission, like, is it okay if I spice up your wardrobe a little bit?”
“I don’t think I need any.. but if you insisted, then I guess it’s okay. Your hands wouldn’t do something disastrous anyway.”
“Good. Because I already did,” she handed him back the jeans she stole from his wardrobe few days before, “Your jeans are all the same and I noticed you kept wearing the same ones over and over again I almost sure if I assessed it a little bit more attentively I would find holes at some point. That’s boring and I don’t want my man’s boring. So give that a try and thank me later.”
He looked himself at the mirror, his eyes struck on both his ankle when the end of the jeans hanging with jumbled strain of threads, the vivid evidences that once, Kim Gwiboon existed in his dull life. To entertain his boring life.
Boring.
Yeah, maybe that’s why she left me, because I’m boring, Jinki thought.
He thought she would be forever, they would be forever, because finally Jinki thought he found someone who leveled very well with his obduracy without coercing themselves too far. Turned out, this time is not any different with the previous relationship that he head, got his hope high then spitted out back to the earth right on the top of rocky valley. Not like the thing he had with Gwiboon could be entitled a relationship anyway. He wouldn’t dare to call it that.
If only I could muster up some courage back then and just asked her out in a very proper way, I would feel so much worthier than merely a fuck buddy.
He pocketed the car keys, inhaled a very deep breath, practiced his auto-reply smile before exited his dungeon. And there he is, waiting by the corner of the breakfast island, the devious Lee Taemin who’s always up to roast his own brother.
“Oh, hello universe. The grad student is finally showed up! Congratulation!! We need to celebrate this very soon! Should I buy some champagne?”
Jinki kicked the stool where he sit furiously before poured himself a good amount of orange juice, the bright yellow liquid vanished in less than thirty seconds.
“I heard from your Mom, Buddy. Finally, you’re going.”
“It’s not in anytime soon, Dad. I just got accepted. Barely finish my final project here.”
“But you can still take the long distance single course for the first semester right?”
His father had been busy coming back and forth among Seoul, Tokyo, and London. There wouldn’t be any chance left for him to go through in his courting mode and interviewing his mother because the woman would shower him with the story of her new club before he could ask anything.
“Who told you that?”
“Your brother.”
He shot a glare to Taemin who stopped middle air from shoving a piece of taco to his mouth, “Don’t blame me. That man come to me with new pair of shoes, of course I surrendered.”
“That man is your father!” his mother slapped the back of his head which attained an annoying squeal from the youngest son.
“I am worried a little bit about you, Jinki.”
There’s a reason why his father now became a very famous attorney. His instinct works beyond human shield.
“Don’t be, Dad. I will be fine. It’s just too handful a bit now, with the final project, preparation, and also adjust the online course and everything.”
“If only you picked London, I have lots of acquaintance there who can actually help you.”
“That’s in some measure, the reason why I picked Chicago. Too many people we know in London, Dad, they might judge as well while stretching a helpful hand. Besides, it was my first choice since the bachelor but the beautiful lady over there was begging like a toddler seven years ago for me not to go there too early. I won’t give up my dream twice.”
Thanks to cousin Minjung and her obsession on NBA when they’re in the grade school. Whenever she visited, she gushed about this Chicago Bull’s to the siblings and triggered a very young Jinki to go to his father’s library and checking some books about the place along the Lake Michigan. Soon enough, he fell for the Windy City and dreamed to move and work as an architect there.
“And yet, see how stubborn you grew up into. So much effort I pulled to keep you grounded next to me. At the end you’d flee away still.”
“You better go sooner or she reenacted the same scene again, Buddy,” his father winked to him, knowing Jinki would be at least smiling on it.
“Roger that, Pops! I’m going!”
Taemin looks dejected on his seat, this is the first time since forever Jinki’s finally leaving his sanctuary that he’s witnessing and he didn’t even pay attention to him. Is he okay? Did he find another girl already? Taemin is way more worried than he used to be.
“Where?! For a date?! Why?! How?! With whom?! Why did you leave me here?! Why didn’t you say anything to me?! Dude!”
“Stop the commotion right there, Lee Taemin. I called Junghee this morning both of you are going with me to shop for my next club gathering.”
“Why on earth you called her?! And how do you know her number?! Mom!!”
The scene left Jinki shaking his head and chortling, somehow, a bit of pleasant feeling occupied his hollow core. That might be the one he would be missing so much when he’s alone abroad. However, the excitement of finally leaving all the traces screaming Gwiboon’s name whenever he turned is all that he can think about now and then. What a perfect excuse. He can’t wait to run away from every single memory of her in this house, this town, this time zone that had been hunted him ever since she asked him not to see each other anymore.
***
Jinki stood right at the check-out desk, dropped his favorite red bean buns and pulled out the wallet from his back pocket. The first thing greeted him when he opened it was the silly picture of him and Gwiboon they took one day at the photo box near Jinki’s favorite arcade because it was suddenly pouring hard. He still has no gut to throw it out because deep down he realized when he took it out, when he finally took it out, it means he needs to let it go everything and he hasn’t down for it any closer yet.
“That’s all?”
The question of the boy in front of him breaks the bubbles inside his head. Jinki’s eyes went pass him and caught the rack full of cigarettes behind. How tempting in so many ways.
“Yeah. That’s it.”
He opened the wrap immediately he stepped out the mart and decided to get his caffeine intake across the street. The café seems not that full, maybe I can still find some blind spot at the corner.
“Jinki?”
A calm voice intrigued his consciousness. He looked around for a while until a woman with short blonde hair is intruding his personal view more.
“Amber, right?”
“Yeah. I thought I called the wrong person.”
“How so? Do I look different with his hair?” Jinki jokingly pointed to his choppy hair. He attempted to cut it by himself last week since he didn’t want to go to his regular barber shop, the man over there would talk nonstop and that was the last thing he desired. The result as everyone can see, was beyond awful. Let’s just all be relieved that his hair grows in the speed of light.
“A little bit,” Amber chuckled seeing how his hair seemed done by a blind person, “But mostly because you look tired.”
Jinki laughed, but not really laughing, “Just woke up and drove here. Stay up late for the final project. How are you?”
Of course he lied, who wants to turn the situation into an awkward moment by blurted out how messed up they’re currently?
“I’m good! Quite busy at the studio but that means we’re growing. So I’m not really complaining.”
“Sounds great.”
Sounds annoying. Why can’t other people as miserable as me?
“Totally,” she looks very pumped and Jinki felt so bad for not reacting with the same level of excitement, “And how is it going with you?”
“Busy but not, bored but not, just.. so so.. you know?” Jinki snorted, tad nervous with such a simple question.
“Ah, I know.. it must be difficult for you as well.”
“As well? I thought the studio’s doing great. You’re going through something?”
Guess it’s a blessing and a curse at the same time having his personality. Being born Jinki, he can’t just ignored people’s feeling even though he knew he’s not in the current capacity to help.
“No, no, yeah, I’m great, studio, factory, all is well. I mean besides Gwiboon.. it must be hard time for you too, you know… with all this situation.”
Jinki doesn’t remember he told anyone what happened between him and the girl. Not even Taemin actually, but that kid was probably a CIA in his previous life Jinki didn’t find the necessity to tell him, nonetheless he would still just come up with some weird ideas to cheer his brother up.
Like the other day, suddenly stack of Mars appeared on his side of fridge – yes, he has his own territory inside that place because once their mother got rid of something belong to him, he exploded like a land mine. Or suddenly, chicken bucket greeted him by the corner of his desk when he came back home almost four in the morning.
But besides that, he kept everything inside. Not any single word of her came out from him after that day. She must have gone to Amber to unload her heart and narrate some stuff about them.
“What can I say?” He sent her small smile but it looks bitterer than the last pills he took for his migraine two days ago.
“I’m sorry, for both of you, really. It’s always hard to choose when it comes for this kind of crossroad, even a very smart one can be the most indecisive human being on earth. I was in her position before. In my case though, I was so much more hardheaded than Gwiboon, that way it was easier for me to leave everything behind. Gwiboon was still nice enough to think about other people around her. Her brother, you, and even her crazy parents who don’t even care. You may already know how hard her father is to his children.”
Hard to choose? Between what? Father? Why suddenly she brought up her father when Gwiboon herself never talked about the said man? Not even Jonghyun who had been friend with him longer than his sister.
“I still remember she ruck-sacked my office all tears and snots rambling about she doesn’t mind throwing herself under the bus as long as she can stay here and not being sent to the states. Poor girl.”
Sta—wait, what?
He thought he knew Gwiboon, this new found though, completely confused him to the staple. After a very quick self-deliberation, he decided to play along and stay chill. Jinki’s afraid Amber would realize she did something she’s banned to and just left the conversation hanging on the air while Jinki finally can grasp the whole portrait of the puzzle Gwiboon left behind.
“Ah she told you that?”
For Jinki that was a pure question, with a tint of hope Amber would leak some circumstances a little bit more. However for Amber, she heard that as a response of bemusement as if Gwiboon not supposed to tell anyone that and kept it only between her and Jinki.
“I am really sorry. She didn’t want to say anything at first, but I guess I was too pushy and it happened that she just couldn’t handle it by herself anymore. Her dre—“
Amber’s phone beeped before she could finish her sentence. She excused herself to check the message and immediately glancing to her wrist, unpleasant air’s very evident on her face.
“Jinki, it was really nice stumbled into you. The work is calling, though, so.. if you don’t mind..”
“Ah, yeah. Of course. Sorry I was holding you here. Thanks for the quick catch up.”
“You take care, okay?”
“I will. See you around, Amber!”
Within a minute, Amber already leaving the side of the street they were standing. Jinki felt the need of caffeine boiling inside him is just got tripled.
***
Jinki accomplished simple tasks by eleven in the morning. He changed his sheets, almost one months later – finally, his mother almost burn the filthy mattress together with it, he made himself a good cup of coffee and grilled cheese, and now started to make trial renders for his interior proposal of his final project.
He put aside his ego and locked it at the corner of the back of his head after he met Amber and of course a long drive to his grandfather graveyard only to eat two whole chicken bucket while talking to his headstone. He obviously earned very weird and awkward gazes from the other people who happened visiting their beloved ones but he didn’t mind even slightly, because at the end of the day he’s convinced, at least Gwiboon left not completely because him.
Another reason is because his professor sent him an email reminded him if he still desired to graduate by the next batch, he needs to submit 50% of the final material no later than the next week. Therefore, the reasonable part of Jinki strangled the overly sensitive and emotional self to the ground and chained him for their own good.
And of course the last part was only happened inside his head but who cares? He finally managed to control his adrenaline by eating one kilogram of avocado for each meal yesterday. Healthy or unhealthy, the people in his house could only judge. With the amount of obstinacy he owned, nobody’s able to change anything.
“Jinx, you got a package,” Taemin trespassed the door on ease knowing he’s currently having the upper hand in the house after seeing the effect of his tattle tale nature on Jinki, “Did you order something?”
“I ordered pork stew and some soondae two minutes ago but I don’t think it would come this fast and I’m pretty sure they came in different container.”
“Funny,” Taemin dropped the small brown box on his desk, “I went to the mailbox to check my shoes but I found it instead.”
“You do have some shoes fetish, don’t you?”
“So what can I do if Reebok just released its new classic edition? Sleeping soundly at night knowing thousands people out there sporting the goods while I can only dream about it? Do you want to see the world burnt? Hell no!”
Jinki’s taken aback with the sudden outburst he didn’t expect. Those shoes must cost him such fortune, he shrugged and reached the package.
“Who sent this?”
“How would I know?”
Jinki assessed the wrapper, it does have the stamp of the courier company, so it must be sent through mail. But oddly enough, they let this package passed with no name or address from the sender was written on it. And lately, he didn’t order anything besides food. Or taxi, when the other day Taemin was sneaky enough being an asshole by taking his car to go on a date.
“You brought anonymous package inside my room? How could you? Don’t go anywhere until I opened it!”
Taemin wasn’t planning to go out soon anyway, but the shrieking voice released from Jinki’s mouth was insulting his pride enough.
“What? Did Mom finally rub you off too hard? You sounded exactly like her just now! And it was just a ridiculous package! Might be from your fans who finally found our address!”
“Might be a bomb as well! If this one exploded, I’m taking you with me!”
“Did you even hear yourself? Who do you think you are? President? Prince Harry? Bruno Mars?”
“Terrorism doesn’t own GPS nor common sense!”
“Neither do you!” he dropped himself to Jinki’s mattress after he couldn’t find any leftover of candies Jinki used to have here and there on his bookshelf, “Who knows it would be just fans gift like before? And who knows you don’t want it and I got to have that?”
Jinki finally realized the reason why his brother not leaving immediately after he dropped the good. It can’t be bad, this one went through the courier company scanning system, the worst he could get is a stupid prank from someone or like Taemin said, a gift from admirer.
“But I haven’t been on stage since God knows how long!”
“Jesus Christ, just open it for crying out loud! I’ll do it if you’re too scared!”
Taemin’s this close ripping Jinki’s pillow into two. Snickered lowly, he started peeling the wrapper only to find a fine maroon box with silver band tied it together. Once the content peeking through the opening Jinki made carefully, eruption of emotion burst under his skin.
Safely kept inside the box, all the Polaroid photos Gwiboon had been taking when they were together, she obsessed with Polaroid and could take three pictures at a time. The amount of love floating from the piles started to suffocate Jinki. They were happy, it’s started and ended in a disaster but they were happy.
He picked one where both of them doing stupid faces, it was in her studio where they spent the whole night working on their own deadlines. 3 AM, with the best companion ever, that’s how she wrote below.
‘When Jinki being an architect’
‘I had enough for today’
‘Coffee time’
‘Look at meeee’
‘He said I’m cute in this one’
‘The sweetest bunny’
‘Jinki’s number :)’
‘Can’t help but being sloth to him :P’
‘Winter Project’
‘He gives the best hug’
‘His baby carrot fingers :3’
‘How the sun looks when he’s sleepy’
‘Mine <3’
She left her message in almost every picture. And the last one nearly breaks the guard on his eyes. Mine, he brushes her cute hand writings, bitter smile adorned his gloomy face promptly. It was him, lips all red pursing like baby penguin, looks like he was arguing something and she didn’t miss the chance to frame his upset state.
He doesn’t know her whereabouts, phone calls and texts he sent only reciprocated by the provider service messages telling him the number had been deactivated. Yet now, he received the only traces left of her, returned back to him, as if she tried getting rid the last footprints of him that she possessed. It’s saddening.
Jinki continued digging the pictures, grimace, smirk, smile, and frowns appeared one to another, enlightened Taemin – who kept his brother in check by the corner of his eyes – that it was some important package. One Polaroid however was purposely been stuck to the bottom of the box.
Gwiboon was smiling, so bright, angelic and mesmerizing, with Jinki glued to her side, nuzzling her cheek, grin splitting on his half face printed on it, so evident it hurts.
‘98258’
It stunned him immediately. Still in daze, the sound of Gwiboon’s voice mocking him and his fixation on oldie stuff is echoing so loud inside his head. That’s started with simple conversation of current fashion trend which brought back the vibe from 90s. One thing led to another, both of them spent the rest of the night in front of Jinki’s laptop checking how the youngster using beeper to send each other message back then. He was so excited when they found this website full of silly quizzes where you need to encrypt the hidden message behind those series of number. And of course Gwiboon was annoyed because most of the time, it was Jinki who’s able to guess it correctly.
Even now.
“Taem.”
“Hmm?” he tried to act as nonchalant as possible but his ears perked so bad, desperately want to know what his brother is going to say.
“How do you know you love someone?”
He cocked his head to the side, just to found Jinki looking forlornly to the small box, “How do I know I love someone?”
“Did I ask the wrong person?” Jinki let out dry chuckle to ease Taemin.
“Ha. You may say so,” Taemin puffed the sides of the pillow under his head, “This may sound so pretentious and would make you cringed at some point, but I guess, nobody knows, Jinx. It’s not weather that you could forecast, not something that obvious as if you look at your window and be like crap-it’s-raining-outside. It’s just… happened. Some are lucky enough to be more aware than the other. Some are just too oblivious until the end, until they had the urge to invent the impossible time machine.”
“And some are just too dumb and chicken out when they realized they’re in love.”
“Were you in love?”
Jinki’s eyes fluttered close to the question, “I am.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh.”
Silence fell once again between the two. Taemin’s digesting still all the unexpected confession he just heard while Jinki now stared blankly to the pile of Polaroid spread over the surface of his desk. Recollection brewed inside his head, somehow he’s quite proud, half awe-struck half regretted, how they managed to have this much memory in a very limited time. Indeed, time is just a concept, it’s all relative up to the point you desperately need to stretch one slice of its epoch.
“Sorry, I was disappointing with my stupid try-to-be-poetic answer. Never been in love before, never expected I’d be, but one thing I can say to you because you’re my brother and even though we’re not twins we have this scary gene connection which is too similar and I bet twins would questioning themselves once they acknowledge this, if you found yourself relating random tiny detail to certain someone, you might as well go for it, then.”
“Is that what happened with you?” Jinki timidly asked, afraid that Taemin could proof further how he missed his chance by assuming he knew what’s the best for him and Gwiboon for these past months.
“Do you realize that the color of your wood structure is exactly the same color of Junghee’s eyes under the sun? Of course you don’t. So, yeah, more or less, that’s what happened with me.”
His eyes locked to one of the photo. Gwiboon was smiling on it, hair pulled up into his favorite messy bun, one shoulder exposed to the sun flares seeping through his window and touched the glowing skin on it. She looked so serene, the most beautiful he had ever seen, because in this one, he could see the genuine Gwiboon under those rumors, those pointed fingers, those make ups, pretty clothing, cynical comments and cold surfaces she put as masks. She’s the Gwiboon who he fell for.
And his heart clenched for he still vividly recalled how he convinced Gwiboon to let him took that picture of her the minute she opened her eyes, the girl finally gave up after he threatened her he would withheld her favorite shower sex. Worked like magic back then.
And worked like poison now once he realized it’s simply a painful memory left he held tight.
“Can you do me a last favor?”
“Sounds erotic,” he yawned and ready to slither inside Jinki’s comforter, “Both of us knew very well it won’t be the last, but yeah, shoot it.”
***
The house is painted dusted blue, huge window pane by the right far covered with light grey curtain from the inside, preventing people to peek on what’s behind the glass. The porch is not that big, but enough to accommodate couple of wooden chair with small concrete table. There’s no vehicle present in the carport, only an old skateboard leaned to the white wall separating the house with the neighbor.
Jinki nervously double check his phone, reciting the address written on the screen to himself, then make sure the number there is the same with the one placed on the wall.
He has never been here before, clearly. He licks his dry lips for the nth time this morning and glanced to his watch. Ten minutes late. Damn you bridge construction, he mumbled. He’s debating whether he should make a call or just go press the ring bell.
At the end, after another minute delaying himself like a sweaty anxious provincial exam taker, he opted to the second one. Vaguely, he heard someone’s approaching, and the door in front of him swung open inside. A familiar face greeted him with small nod and smile.
“Took you longer than I expected.”
“Well, need some time to make a peace with everything, I guess? I asked your number to Taemin just yesterday.”
“Come on in, then.”
“Thanks, Minho.”
***
cross-posted on my AFF couple weeks ago :)
This one is purposely written to center on Jinki, and the universe rolling around him. I am excited but also quite sad that the next chapter will be the last one. Thank you for reading and following this story. Hopefully, you like this chapter and the upcoming one as well! As usual, I only wish for your happiness wherever you are! Comments are always welcome! XOXO
P.S.: do you know what’s the beeper message mean? Let me know if you can guess! :P
Kim Gwiboon looks like an upset puppy, messed up hair, flushed cheeks while wearing his old t-shirt with nothing underneath is actually his favorite view in the morning.
“Well, not now exactly.. I need to go back home, take a shower, take my laptop, maybe grab something from nearby coffee shop and meet my professor.”
“Not only your house that has a bathroom, you know? You can take a shower here, I still have your t-shirts.”
Jinki raised his eyebrows in question, this kind of scene is an impossible picture if they look back to one month ago. What kind of meteor fell down the earth spreading its radiation to mae her behaves this clingy?
“Let me tell you something. This is what’d happened if I take a shower here. I went inside, two minutes later you’d sneak in. That’d make ten minutes shower turned into one hour. And we would take our time to dry each other, that’s another hour. Don’t forget that I still need to drive home to pick my laptop. But before I reached that door over there,” Jinki pointed behind his back, “You’d say it’s cold and want a quick cuddle then poof. It’s twelve already and I lost my appointment with my super busy professor.”
Gwiboon can only kick the blanket for everything he just said is exactly like she planned inside her head. She pressed herself to his side, restraining him getting off the bed. Jinki’s heart softens after seeing how sulky she is.
He pecked her quickly and reached his t-shirt on the floor blindly.
“Don’t worry, I will be back later.”
“If I give you another round of last night, will you stay?”
“Hmmm. That is actually very tempting, but I am more tempted with a diploma in my hand, Babe.”
“Lee Jinki, everyone,” she propped herself with her elbow hovering Jinki, peppering every inches of his face with butterfly kisses, “You surpassed everyone I’ve ever met.”
When he finally able to put his t-shirt on, he cupped her cheeks and threw the question he’s been dying to ask since the first minute he opened his eyes and found out Gwiboon being a lady sloth.
“Seriously. What has gotten into you?”
“You.”
“What?”
“I said, you.”
“Kim Gwiboon, I asked what has gotten into you.”
“And I answered, you.”
“Well, I’m not talking specifically about last night, though. But I got it.”
Gwiboon could only roll her eyes when he winked suggestively, “How can you be pervert and still charming at the same time, I actually have no idea.”
“That’s the secret of Lee Jinki’s life. Stay around a little bit and you’ll know how. And even more.”
“Why should I stay around if you’re leaving like this?”
“For God’s sake, it’s not like I go half the world away. What’s wrong with you this morning?”
Her face frozen hearing the words came so easily from his mouth. Though Jinki doesn’t know what the reason behind her bitter expression is, he felt guilty anyway. He slipped his hand to her back and closes the gap for a lazy kiss, the kind of kiss he always left her whenever they parted ways.
“Take a long and warm shower. Grab some croissant or sandwich, your preference, and I’ll see you again soon. It won’t be long. If you want, you can wait in my building.”
“And getting this strange look from the other student? Better yet, some whispering behind my back? Forget it,” Gwiboon released herself from his warm embrace, “Once you step out that door, you’re done.”
“Even if I got us dinner reservation?”
“That’s exactly why I wanted you to stay. I’ve already had a date for later.”
“It’s not even 24 hours since I failed to keep my promise. I almost forgot that you’re Kim Gwiboon after the clingy moment just now.”
“I told you since the very beginning, right? I don’t chase.”
He grabbed his jacket suit and hugged her from the back, locking his eyes to her reflection on the mirror of her vanity.
“And who’s the lucky guy, if I may know?”
“Only someone from the past. The one that got away.”
“If he’s better than me, what can I say, then,” he buried his face where her neck meets her shoulder, “Is he?”
“At some point?”
“So I still have something I can win you over?”
“Of course.. Another thing you should know about me, I never lower my standard. It’s getting better and better all the time.”
“That’s why I like you. What’s my bad then?”
“You said you have important appointment you don’t even want to take shower here, have you not heard yourself?”
“I can spend more twenty minutes to make sure that no one can overpass me.”
“Look who’s the ambitious one. You really want me to list down your flaws?”
“Let us call those constructive critics.”
“First, you are shorter.”
“You don’t even think for a second.”
“That is obvious. If you stand side by side with him, even a toddler can say that you’re shorter.”
“Height is not something that I can control anyway. You see yourself Taemin is as tall as me. It’s not something that I can change.”
“Too much excuses before breakfast is a no no. Ah, more important thing. He’s always there to drop me everywhere.”
“Is he a driver? Does he even have life?”
“That’s what you called priority. He put me on the top list. Also, he has abs, bigger eyes, way more athletic than you.”
“Should I start hitting the gym?”
“I’ll burn your car if you do. Once you start working out like him, you’d overdo your thighs. Now is perfect. Besides, I don’t want you to lose the side fat on your tummy.”
“You do have a lot to please.”
“It just came naturally.. I always set the bar higher than anyone.”
“Now tell me why you’re not with him anymore when based on my rough calculation, he got higher grade?”
“Simple, he left me for some random girl,” she pecked his lips quickly, “See the pattern here? I don’t like being left behind..”
Jinki didn’t say anything. He just pressed her chest closer to him and tracing her jaw bit by bit, and gave her a deep kiss at the end.
“How can I leave someone like you when every single time I woke up in the morning I’m the one who’s afraid you’ve changed your mind and realized spending time with me is a mistake?”
She frowns immediately, doesn’t even care if it’s showing too much her feeling. He tucked her hair behind her ears to see her face better, “But as far I know, Minho you’ve dated before, is what people called a hybrid of Greek God and Avenger.”
“Woman 101, Lee Jinki. Any girl in the world prefers reality than some myth.”
“I think I skip that lesson the first year of college.”
“Yeah, first year of college you had been dating that hipster girl who happened to have watermelon dangling on her chest.”
“If I know you’re this good with research, I will push you to the heritage office in my department. They need more people for the historical city revitalization.”
She slapped his chest and peeled herself from him.
“Go away, you idiot. You can just say you don’t like me.”
“If we meet again for the first time, even in the next life, I think there’s no chance I would say I don’t like you. No matter how, even if our path doesn’t even cross to each other.”
“Cut the crap out,” Gwiboon try to hide the tears started to well up her eyes, “Talk to me again when you already became a very successful architect. I don’t deal with amateur. Now give me my last kiss and off you go!”
“I said, I can have extra twenty minutes here, right? Are you up for a quick one?”
Gwiboon turned her heels with such intriguing words. The moment she caught his hooded eyes getting excited and shameful at the same time, she pushed her oversize t-shirt above her head, some hair strand fell off her loose messy bun. Jinki doesn’t need to ask twice.
***
“Choi Minho’s speaking!”
“What was that?”
“Was what?”
“The greeting? Since when you picked your phone with some James Bond attitude?”
“I don’t know what are you talking about but I’ve been like this since a very long time ago, you ignorant girl.”
“Don’t make me peed my pants. The other day when we talked you didn’t sound so pretentious like this.”
“The other day, and the day before, and the weeks before, I’ve been the one who called you and not vice versa because you’re too busy with your prince charming you decide to ditch your best friend. Thank you very much.”
“Aw, my ex-boyfriend is jealous.. that’s so cute. I didn’t ditch you! Besides, Prince Charming only exists in Disney movie, Mango.”
Scoff and grunt came from the other line, “Stop calling me Mango! Last week my junior suddenly gave me pack of peeled and neatly cut mango because she thought I’m a major fan of the fruit.”
“SHE?!”
“That’s the only thing you care? Really?”
Gwiboon laughs with her whole body, with Minho, everything’s easy and just flowing like that. Drop of pain tainted her chest for a split of second when the thought of having more distance with him soon across her mind.
“It’s just because it’s been so long I haven’t heard about you dating or having a crush, of course that’s the only thing I care about. So. Does she look cute?”
“She does look cute so stop embarrassing me with the stupid nickname. Now, what’s your problem disturbing my peaceful life?”
“Wow. Just because she’s cute now you’re being mean to me? Unbelievable.”
“As if you’re not the one who’s been missing in action after all.”
“I have a show to prepare, you giant frog!”
“Show my ass, nothing about the show stored inside the Lee’s resident yet you’re there almost a week. Who’s the unbelievable now?”
She can totally see the smirk on his spiteful face right now, “Remind me to send a grenade to Lee Taemin later.”
Another cracks blew from Minho’s end, “No, seriously. What do you need?”
“You’re not going to ask how am I doing these days?”
“I know already. You’re stressed, but happy. Then anxious, but happy. And also depressed, but happy. Thanks to Mr. Architect who apparently makes every single night bearable with the steamy, wonderf—“
“Stop talking about my love life!”
“Oooo, it’s a love life already?”
“You and your big mouth can rot in hell!”
“I’m just stating the fact. Why you’re mad at me?”
“Whatever. What time are you going to be here?”
“The Prince Charming is gone? Why do I feel like I’m a mistress?”
“My friend, we need to get you laid. You’re talking non sense.”
“Just because you can get laid so easily and had fun because of that, doesn’t mean it’s the only solution in everyday life, honey.”
“You know that hurts, right?”
Minho didn’t say anything for solid two minutes. He put the phone on the top of his chest and punched his thigh for slipping some irrational jokes that she hates the most.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t being sensitive. I’m truly sorry, Kim Gwiboon.”
“No need. I think this is just the way universe talked to me, you know this stupid karmic shit people talked about.”
“No, no, no, it’s not, honey. You’re a great person. You just tried to protect yourself. Forget it. I was just in a very cranky mood and I think my subconscious just wanted other people as annoyed as I am.”
“At this point, I don’t give a damn, if my life’s meant to be ruined so let it be. It’s not like we can do shit about that. Anyway. Talking about how horrendous my life is actually is not why I called you at the first place.”
“Still. I’m so sorry, Gwiboon.”
“No big deal. Compare to what’s in my back right now, really, piece of cake.”
“So, tell me.”
“What time you can come over?”
“You’re still doing it?”
“Well, gotta start with something.”
“That something is supposed to tell Jinki how you feel. Or tell Jonghyun you’re leaving. Not just throwing your stuff outside the window.”
“It’s not outside the window, it will be packed nicely and you’ll be here helping me to sort which I need and which I don’t. So, see you in an hour? Don’t forget to bring me the empty boxes and ten inch subway sandwich.”
***
“Yo! Lovebirds!”
Jinki tilted his head to the source of loud voice and he saw Minho bounced from the glass door swung closed behind him to the counter.
“I think Taemin rub him off that bad,” Jinki then quietly sipping his coffee. In his surprise though, Gwiboon didn’t roll her eyes and snarled some light curse as usual whenever Minho bumped into their way. Instead, she waved to him, signaling the tall guy to come closer which is another surprise for Jinki. The other day Gwiboon would shoo him away even before he got a chance to notice them in the crowd.
“What are you doing here?”
“Err.. getting my coffee?”
Jinki’s eyes darted back and forth between the two who’re flaunting awkwardness more than necessary.
“Join us if you have time,” Jinki just being his friendly self, doesn’t even bothered with the fact that he’s Gwiboon’s ex-boyfriend, which is kind of upsetting the girl sitting in front of him.
“Nah. I need to catch some lecture in..,” he glanced his watch, “… thirty minutes. Besides, being the third person without stripping all this clothing article is not my preference.”
Minho winked by the end and Jinki took the joke very well, cracking on the spot, not yet realized that there’s another person in the loop who doesn’t enjoy it a bit.
“Jinki said you’ve been hanging around with Taemin too much.”
“That’s probably true. I started losing my stuffs as well.”
“Apologize on behalf my brother. Such a bad influence.”
“You shouldn’t. his fans nowadays also flattering me with abundant affections so, it’s a mutualism I think.”
The more Jinki and Minho absorbed into exciting conversation, the more Gwiboon sitting restless on her seat. She kept giving him a signal with he whole face but the charm of Lee Jinki is too strong for anyone to just ignore him. Sometimes Gwiboon wished, Jinki returned to his jealousy rage state like when she had Jinwoon entailed her every step she took. That would make everything easier.
“That’s what I’m saying! Anyway, catch you guys later. Gotta rush to the campus. Nice to talk with you, Jinki! We should hang around more! Oh, and, Gwi. Let me know if you still need a hand to pack your stuffs. I think I also have some unused box, just in case you may need it.”
Her face slightly lit more, “Great. I don’t think I need more boxes, just a hand to carry the whole things down.”
“Alright, then. Text me anytime. Later, Lovebirds!”
Minho finished his coffee in one gulp and dashed away less than thirty seconds. Gwiboon played innocent and continue enjoying her cheesecake, pretty much aware a pair of eyes shooting her strong wave of confusion.
“You’re packing something?”
“Just my stuffs.”
“Your stuffs?”
“Yeah, my stuffs.. like books, clothes, mannequins, shoes..”
“I didn’t know you do some charity.”
“I don’t. I’m only moving out the dorm.”
“Only moving out the dorm?”
He stressed the word ‘only’ hoping the girl who looks uninterested with the talk care to explain further what is actually going on.
“Well, yeah, I decided to go back home. Since you know, me and Jonghyun kind of back to the square one and restart everything.”
“And out of all this you find it unnecessary to tell me?”
She stopped stuffing the dessert into her mouth and take Jinki’s hand in her. Gwiboon played with his stiffen knuckles, a gesture started grew in her whenever she get nervous around him, which Jinki failed to notice.
“Because it’s not a big deal. It’s only the matter where I sleep at night.”
“And regarding the place where you sleep at night you’re obligated to tell Minho in advance?”
She can feel her heart trembles, “Wow. Is the famous Lee Jinki jealous?”
“It’s not the time to kid around, Kim Gwiboon,” he pulled his hand rather too quick, didn’t give a chance for Gwiboon to even fall into surprise, “You mend your relationship to Jonghyun. You share everything with Minho. What am I then? An outcast?”
“You know what are we.. We agreed to take everything lightly. To go with the flow. Don’t you hate something like putting a label?”
“Oh, for God’s sake. We’re done using that as an excuse, I’m just asking you here why you think I don’t need to know that you’re coming back home. After those countless night I tried to convince you to talk everything out with your brother instead running away from it?”
“Why you’re so mad about this? Can we take this one lightly as well? We pranked each other before, right? This time isn’t anything different from that, is it? You go there with restrained groin trying to find your release and then surprise! I’m not there! Isn’t it fun? Too bad that toad-face blew up my whole plan.”
Jinki’s jaw sharpened after the words passed through his ear. He tried to compose himself in such short time since he’s pretty aware with their surroundings, lots of couple and a mother with a toddler is right behind their table.
“So you said me coming after you, me always trying to stand by your side, listening to you, comforting you is a kind of a joke?”
“Come on Jinki. Where’s the fun? Why so serious?”
Gwiboon drew her best effort to look as casual as possible. No one beside herself understands how storm and thunder currently occupied her vines every other second. By the look plastered on Jinki’s face, she knew that she pulled the last string of him for today.
“Are you still mad at me for not attending your show?”
“What are you saying? I’m not five, Jinki. I am so used to disappointment.”
“Then why you’re being immature like this?”
“Excuse you? Me being immature would be refuse to see you forever right after I failed to find you on your assigned seat that night. Me being immature would be yelling at your face and making fuss about the whole you-promised-me-already-you-are-really-disappointing. Wouldn’t I?”
Nothing can seem soften Jinki’s face at this point. Not even when Gwiboon rest her hand above his, he felt his fist clenched tighter. However, Gwiboon has no intention to unwrap herself even though she’s completely conscious of that.
She sighed when Jinki’s eyes wander around the room but not her. He can’t help but gulp down when she took his hand and settle it on her cheek, holding it with both of her hands as if it’s a very delicate creature.
“Jinki,” he didn’t budge at all, so she soften her voice, “Hey, Jinki.. look at me.”
The moment he landed his eyes on hers, the restless feeling boiled under Gwiboon’s skin. That expression, is something she never seen coming from Jinki.
“Kim Gwiboon.”
She slowly retreads her hands when she noticed Jinki caressing her cheek with his own will. She puffed the bangs fell of his forehead and swiped it to the side to show her more of his eyes.
“Sorry I said you’re immature. But if this is your way getting back to me for not telling you stuff, then we can talk about it. Not without such a juvenile way like this.”
“Are you saying you’re hiding something for me?”
Silent squeak roamed inside Jinki’s throat. He hates the fact he can be so clumsy and careless sometimes.
“I’m just thinking maybe you think I’m hiding something for you, so that’s why you’re being like this to me.”
Jinki realized he said something non sense, but it was his last resource not to make everything’s messier.
“I see. You’re hiding something from me.”
“What?”
“You think I’m the type who holding grudge? What about you who can’t be honest with me?”
“Why are you being like this? Is this your way? Turning everything against people around you when the main issue is you? When are you going to grow up?!”
The couple on the next table tilted their head not so secretly, interested with their quarrel after JInki raised his voice.
“Stop it. Last time we screamed at each other in public we ended up not talking for weeks.”
“Then let’s go. We have hundreds to talk about.”
He collected his jacket and ready to move. On the other side of the table, Gwiboon’s not having it and didn’t shift any bit. She shot her head up when stern gaze drilling her side of skull.
“Why? I’m not finish. Can’t you see?”
She lifted the halfway cake on the plate near her cup innocently.
“Don’t test me, Kim Gwiboon.”
“I don’t. You can leave first if you want. I’ll catch you up after I’m done.”
The fact that they came to the place together with Jinki’s car is making him questioning her thoughtless words, “Are you kidding me? It’s drizzling madly outside. How can I leave you alone here?”
“I ramble around by myself before you. You shouldn’t worry a thing.”
His pride’s torn into pieces after hearing it. Without further ado, he turned his heels and marched toward the entrance.
Gwiboon closed her eyes with such measure not to spill brimming tears. She reached out her phone and went down the contact list to find the name she needs.
“Hey, Mango. He left.”
“When?”
“Just now.”
“Are you okay?”
“Of course not. By the way. Thank you for keeping your promise to mention about the moving day even if you hate it so much. So. Meet me at my house?”
***
Here you go! I just did a very quick check so hopefully it's not a mess. Also, I hate to tell you this, but seeing this already this far, I think it's safe for me to say, this beloved story will only have three more chapters! I'm happy and also sad because I really like writing this one. Thanks for all your support! Means a lot! As usual, I wish you all the happiness in the world! XOXO
This one is for my anon who requested #10. Very quick scribble. Hope you like it :))
Prompt is from this list
—————————————
“If you use up all the hot water again, I swear to God! You’re on the couch for a month!!”
Jinki is shouting to the mirror in their bathroom but it darted to Gwiboon who’s reading peacefully as if nothing happened.
“Chill, Babe. It's not like a world war or something.”
“Chill you said?” His hand hung on the air, paused drying his hair, in disbelief what he just heard, “I came back home after long day in the office, wondering how great it would to be refreshed under hot shower. But when I got home?! Not even one drop! Thank you very much!”
She casually flipped the next page, “If you're talking about refresh, the cold water is so much better!”
“Not when all my muscle tangled tightly one to another!” Jinki continue to dry his hair, now in such angry speed.
“It's Wednesday. I thought you're gonna be at the gym.”
Jinki sighed when he remember what happened exactly 30 minutes before the hours finished, “Minho ditched me when the new interior designer said yes to have dinner with him.”
“Oh, my poor man.”
He then brushed his teeth furiously when he realized nothing's changed from Gwiboon's tone.
“Wfvhuat ar yue deuin tu spen ol de hot wutah?”
“What? I couldn't get you, Honey.”
“Ye know wfvhat ai muent.”
Gwiboon curses silently, five years of relationship made Jinki knew her too well up until the part of advancing in understanding each other's alien language.
“You know that last week both of us were too busy, right?”
“Hmmm.”
“I was too tired to take the babies to the pet shop on Saturday, so I washed them by myself just now. And who has heart to use the cold water on them?”
By the babies, Jinki knows that it means their dogs Comme Des and Garçon. They're very handful indeed, but he didn't think their apartment system will finish the hot water supply just for them.
“Don't trick me. Our babies won't spend much water. Tell me what you have done.”
He stepped out the bathroom, towel covering only his lower part, makes Gwiboon writes a mental note to thank Minho later for egging him to always go to the gym at least twice a week, because he looks so damn hot even though Jinki's very upset now she needs to cover her crime.
“I wash the grey bed cover today.”
He rolled his eyes immediately when she revealed it. Gwiboon has a thing with the said bed cover. It was made of perfect mixture of cotton and silk which is Jinki himself has no doubt that it's indeed very comfortable. Because it's somehow too delicate, she never washed it in the washing machine let alone sent it to the laundry place in their building.
“But you can do that on weekend, babe! When I don't even need shower! I just want to relax and it was fuckin' cold!”
He yelled in front of the wardrobe, somehow unable to keep nagging to her girlfriend.
“I'm sorry, Jinx, I just don't want to ruin it for letting it laid inside the laundry bag for too long.”
She slipped her arms around his waist and rests her cheek on his bare skin, tried to calm him down.
“Try not to do that on weekdays, uh?” No matter what, Jinki is always soften by Gwiboon's back hug, he moved his hand to caress her locked hands on his torso, “And let's just take the babies to the pet shop in the morning before we go to work and pick them up when we got home in the evening when we just too busy. I just can't stand the cold.”
“Speaking of the cold,” Gwiboon roams her hands up and down, grazing his built up abs from behind, “Let me warm you up, babe.”
Gwiboon reached out the knot of the towel and let it drop to floor. Then she started peppering his shoulder with soft kisses, palms resting on his chest.
It’s 7 in the morning and no one should be still in their dream land or maybe catching some trains or buses. Or may be stopped by to a coffee shop to grab one cup before facing the upcoming hectic day. No one knows.
And the fashion department studio should be as empty as other classes in that campus. But particular girl already on her desk, back and forth pinning some fabric to a mannequin and sketching after lining up some material on the table. Though her focus is 100% on the half-naked statue next to her, she couldn’t help catching someone intrudes her bubble by the corner of her feline eyes.
He’s getting closer so she put more concentrate on cutting the piece of silk in her hand. And when he dragged a stool right across the desk, she’s still acting that no one occupied the room besides her.
His presence is already intimidating. And to make it worst, the entire gaze he shot on her is full of affection instead of curiosity. Or anger. Or anxiety.
“I don’t know you’re such an early bird.”
“You know nothing about me,” she deadpanned while leaving her eyes to empty air between them.
“I know you’re pretty. Nice and smart. Passionate on your work, I can tell.”
She seemed not having any intention to look at the speaker by shifting to her side, putting different color of silks on the mannequin’s shoulder.
“Oh, and you also got big guts. You know, kissing someone in daylight in a crowd you barely know is not easy.”
Her hand stopped right away in the air. By this time, the only choice left for her is to blast him her trademark annoyed glare.
“Finally. Is it that hard for you to look at me?”
It only took a pair of torn eyes to melt Gwiboon’s heart. His eyes were genuine, looked really sincere no matter how she tried to ignore that fact. It’s not that she hates that face. How can you hate that puffy cheeks and full lips? Oh, dear God, those sinful lips. When her eyes darted to that pair of flesh, perfect pink tint crept on Gwiboon’s cheek out of nowhere. What’s the matter with you, Kim Gwiboon?
“Isn’t your class started later? It’s not even 9!”
“Wow. And you know my time table too. Unbelievable.”
The shade over Gwiboon’s face is getting more obvious it’s not even pink anymore. And Jinki once again, mesmerized by the view of bashful girl in front of him. His grin splits his face into two.
“I happened to have a brother taking the same course with you, don’t be so cocky you’ll ruin my mood! I know most of his class started after 10.”
“So, you stalked me through your brother? Hmmm. Interesting, really interesting.”
Gwiboon half slammed her scissors onto the table and Jinki flinched on his seat, “I got lots of stuff to do. If you’re here just to joke around and mock me then the door’s over there.”
Jinki sighed rather loud, considering only two people in this huge studio, “Look. This is the first time we got to be alone after, you know, I ki—“
“I don’t want to talk about that!”
“But I want to. And I’m going to talk about that again and again. We kissed before. Twice. That’s a lot for people who are – wait, what’s your term, oh yeah – stranger. Are we not going to do something about that?”
“What do you want, really?”
She continues to pampering the mannequin, stitched it here and there just to keep her mind busy because she’s about to collapse listening to that soft voice.
“I don’t know. What do you want? I mean, I don’t know what about you, but I like you. A lot.”
He talked to Gwiboon’s back but his words stabbed her, passed her spine and directly engulfed her heart in slow motion. The latter couldn’t help but bit her lips for the sake not jumping in excitement like a sugar-rushed five year old kid.
“I like you too.”
Jinki is not expecting this one. He’s so ready to hear Gwiboon’s getting enrage and ranting, but her simple reply got him stunned in a second.
“Oh, wow. And now you’re muted. Whatever. You’ve got what you want, now can you not distracting me with your ridiculously warm crescent eyes?”
‘Did I just say he got warm eyes?’
“Did you just tell me that my eyes are warm and distracting? Am I dreaming or what?”
Gwiboon’s sulking on her own, stomping her feet while moving and trying so hard avoiding Jinki’s eyes. Most people would get boring easily if the opposite person they talked to is ignoring them. But Jinki, Jinki’s definitely not most people. He enjoyed his time there looking at working hard Gwiboon. She loved whatever she’s doing and that sends him lots of strange feeling. A good strange feeling.
He pulled out the little sketch book he always had on his pocket, snatching a pencil from Gwiboon’s desk and starts copying her side view on it. Every single hair strands, neckline, her jaw, all are drawn perfectly in such limited time. While he enjoying the sight before him to complete his quick doodles, his phone’s buzzing madly, ruining the tranquil air wrapped them.
“Yes, Jinki’s speaking! Oh, Mr. Kim! What can I help this time?”
Gwiboon tried so hard not to eavesdropping but the struggle is real when the only sounds ringing in the room is his clear voice.
“Really? That’s great! Really really great! Thanks for calling me in advance! I’m already at the university don’t worry, I’m heading to your office now.”
He’ll be gone soon. Why does this feel not right?
“No, it’s okay. I’ll see you in a moment. Thank you very much once again!”
When the conversation seemed finished, Gwiboon can hear Jinki’s huffing to the atmosphere and she sense disappointment out of him. Through the small mirror steady on her desk, she can see he shuffled on his seat and ready to leave.
“Gwiboon.”
“Hmm.”
“I need to go right now. But I’ll definitely back aft–– “
“This design needs to be delivered to the board at lunch.”
“Whatever. I’ll see you later! Good luck with the mannequin! I love the lace color.”
“It’s not lace. It’s embroidery.”
But Jinki’s already dashed outside the room when Gwiboon finished her words. And the room feels emptier than ever when not even his trace of perfume stayed there. She shrugged her shoulder and moved to the end of her desk to measure some ribbon. That’s about the time she found a paper alone near the corner.
‘You know what this girl needs? A smile on her face. Because the Kim Gwiboon I know is way much prettier when she smiles. Mind to let me know how the design goes? :)’
Under her flawless portrait on the paper, Jinki wrote his number. Seeing that, her soul had been taken away in between excitement and sorrow.
***
“They love it! Two of them are presented earlier on the next board meeting and they assigned me to fill the first walk and also the last.”
“Who is this?”
“You said you want to know how the design goes!”
He put down the cigarette and kept it back inside its box while his face turned into a blossoming rose, “Gwiboon?”
“Who do you expect?!”
“I just surprised, I thought you won’t calling me.”
“Me too.”
Long pause fill up the awkwardness between them, until Jinki tried to break it, “So it means you’ll stay in the studio until midnight again?”
“Guess so. I can only go to the studio on Wednesday and Friday. And Saturday morning. But lots of detail needs to be finished.”
“Why don’t you go there every day? Working two or three hours after the class won’t hold you to go back early, well, at least not until midnight,” Jinki being his original himself, trying to make everything more bearable with a better schedule.
“The other day I got a bis – never mind.”
“What?”
“It’s not only me on the studio! I don’t want people take a look at my design! It’s not finished yet! It looks like people caught me naked.”
“I’ve visited you yesterday, so that meant I saw you naked?”
“You pervert head hog!”
Long haul of laughter spread through the line, not only to Gwiboon’s ear, but also to her heart. It feels great. It feels like home.
“You are the one who said that. I just emphasize the possibility. No, I just made a confirmation. Not my fault.”
“Cut it off.”
“As you wish.”
“What are you doing?”
“Me? Smoking.”
“And cut that off too! It’s bad for you!”
“I’m not even had a chance to light it up! Your call was kind of interrupting.”
“That’s good. I’ll make sure to call you every two or three days to check on you. Just so you know, the nicotine stays in your lips.”
“How do you know? You’re not even smoking!”
“I can taste it the other time.”
Warmth fills up his hollow chest. He spent the entire week to work on his final project and help Taemin writing some lyrics to his performance. To sum it up, he’s exhausted as hell. But listening to the words leaving Gwiboon’s lips, he felt like he could climb another mountain right now.
“Oh are you sure? Want to double check it again?”
Jinki is not even next to her, but still, she got blushed all over her cheeks, “You and your pervert brain can spend entire years in hell!”
He cracks right away, “I’ll stop by every Wednesday and Friday then.”
“Nah, you got your own thing to finish. I’ll be fine.”
“Yeah, you’ll be fine and I won’t. You’ll never know how it feels to be a man coming home before dinner and knowing the woman he cares about still out there doing things for a living.”
Her throat strangled by invisible rope. Silence cut everything Gwiboon’s trying to say.
“So yeah, see you next Friday?”
“Oh,” she finally got her mind back in the system, “Well, whatever. Just don’t back up right away after you found it boring. I won’t entertain you at all, busy stuff.”
“How can I get bored with you, seriously?”
And since that weekend, after his studio’s finished, he brought his laptop and sketch book, dragged his feet to the farthest building at the university. He just sat there and continued clicking here and there, sometimes peeking over Gwiboon and just looking at her when his eyes got tired staring at the screen nonstop.
Sometimes Gwiboon already waiting with a packed dinner for him. Sometimes Jinki pushed the studio’s door a little bit late, with her favorite coffee set in hand.
Sometimes Jinki is too lazy to make a presentation layout and just enjoying Gwiboon’s side view. Sometimes Gwiboon not touching her works at all and just peeking on his screen or capturing his serious face with her Polaroid.
***
And with that, people start talking again. They talk when Gwiboon stopped by to architect’s department studio design both hand carried packed lunch. When she dropped one on Jinki’s desk and the other to his brother’s. They talk when Jinki’s board shoulders appeared so often in the fashion design department. When he casually ruffled Gwiboon’s hair after the class and they went together to Jinki’s basement.
Nobody needs another radio announcement or neon box advertising to notice they are seeing each other. Minho and Taemin don’t even bother to confirm, as well. But they are not Jonghyun.
“You doing well, lately?”
“Hmmm.”
It’s dinner time in their house and the second week of the month, Gwiboon’s home and Jonghyun found his chance to ask her about all those rumor he had been buzzed off.
“Your project is okay?”
“It’s great,” she shoved another pile of beef salad in her mouth, eyes keep staring to her phone.
“I’ve been heard some gossips.”
“It’s gossip. You know you shouldn’t listen to that crap.”
“Well, I won’t listen if that’s not about you.”
“It’s always about me, huh?” she put down her phone, eyes locked with her brother, “Which one do you trust? Those stupid people or me?”
“I trust my friends Gwiboon.”
“So you don’t believe me because I am apparently not one of your friend?”
“Jinki is my friend.”
“So? Did he tell you something?”
“He didn’t. That’s why I asked you.”
“Your logic is not pretty good sometimes.”
“It is pretty good when half of your classmate said that your sister and your friend making out here and there around the campus.”
She shot her head up and what she found makes her writhing silently. Jonghyun’s not angry. Jonghyun looks care.
“Are you going out with him?”
“Sometimes.”
“Are you dating him?”
“I don’t know.”
“That’s not the answer I want to hear, Gwiboon.”
“I really don’t know, Jong! We don’t define what is this happened between me and your friend!” Gwiboon finds it hard to just say Jinki’s name like that, “Not everyone smart enough or brave enough to call it something, you know!”
She’s tossing the fork on her hand to the plate, appetite gone in flash. Jonghyun didn’t tilt his head a bit, making Gwiboon more uncomfortable with the atmosphere.
“This is my friend, Gwiboon. You don’t just like people and hanging out with them without checking them whether you’re on the same page and then after you got bored you just left! I’ve told you since the beginning. Jinki’s my friend! He’s a nice guy!”
“And you think I don’t deserve nice guy? You think the best choice that I could have is random guy who treat me like a whore or someone who’s sexist enough to go to jail?! Am I that low in your eyes, Jong?”
When Jonghyun saw her all torn and sincere, he mentally burns himself in hell, “It’s not like that, Gwiboon.”
“It’s always been like that! Being judgmental and hating every single thing I’ve done! I don’t know where exactly my fault is. And I can’t even like a guy whose kind enough to bring me a cup of coffee in the middle of night without asking anything after that?”
“Kim Gwiboon, listen to me.”
“No, you listen to me, brother of mine. I am as afraid as you of losing him if something unwanted happened in the future between me and him. If you care enough all this time, I am not as cold as bitch that you pictured of me in your head. I have no one to run whenever all those gibberish that you called gossip is way too far and ridiculously make no sense to handle. But he’s there. Suddenly he’s there, doesn’t even care about all those craps and still give me the perfect genuine smile even when my own brother doubts me.”
“Gwiboon, it’s no—“
“It’s not like that? Is that what you want to say?”
“I told you to listen to me!” this time Jonghyun started to lose his temper and raised his voice, shut Gwiboon down right away, “Jinki is my friend. You know that. He is a person that I care a lot, as much as I care about you.”
Gwiboon looks she’s not ready with everything that he had in mind.
“Yes, Kim Gwiboon. All this feud and everything we had doesn’t stop me to care of you. Never in a million way, and because of that reason alone, have I known that this time is different than before. Different than all those bastard trying to hook up with you. And that’s the reason why I have no heart to let you ruin yourself.”
“I don’t see your point.”
“Jinki is going to graduate soon. And who the hell knows what would he did after that, he might go to the end of the world to do another volunteer work or being busy in his new office. He’s going to leave eventually. And I don’t want you to feel to be left behind again. Not after what I did to you.”
So Jonghyun has no idea about me leaving the university?
Gwiboon bite her lips, contemplating whether he should tell Jonghyun the truth or not.
“Jong,” the latter is surprised, it’s been so long since Gwiboon called him that way, “I don’t care he might leave next month, or next year, or maybe tomorrow. At this point I don’t even care if what’s going on between me and him right now is real. This is new for me, as you said before, yes, I admit that this is different than before.”
“Gwiboon, how many times should I tell you, I don’t care about you might hurt him, it’s the opposite that I am worried now. The fact that he might hurt you when he left.”
“If that what is your concern, I’ll make sure I’m the one who left him and not the other way.”
“Kim Gwiboon, this is not a game.”
No, it’s not, Jong. I am the one who’s going to leave him and might break his heart. I am the criminal.
“You know I don’t play game. Thank you for your concern, but I think I’m old enough to play safe and handle my feeling.”
Gwiboon wiped her mouth quickly and retreated to her room before Jonghyun stopped her for another argument. Before her tears spilled out the brim of her eyes.
I’m sorry, Jong. I didn’t mean to make you lose him when I did.
***
“Can you move a little bit?”
Jinki shifted closer to Gwiboon instead further away, forcing the latter gritted her teeth. He broke into huge laughter before peck her cheek and gave her the space she needed.
“What the heck?”
“I’m sorry, but your upset expression is my new Achilles heels now. I just can’t help myself about that.”
“You need to do something about that. I am begging you. Before all these girls broke into my locker and burn everything inside, ruined the whole project that I’m working on.”
“And you need to stop imagining something. It’s not gonna happened and it’s not healthy.”
She cocked her head to the side, Jinki grins like a five year old with sugar rush.
“Let me tell you something. I’ve been received dead animals on my studio’s desk. I got calls from unknown number threating to kill me every once in a week because apparently I am a bitch and they are fucking coward without balls and guts. But now, I have some important business to take care before the beginning of the next month. So. Can you not?”
“Not what?”
“Not doing exactly what could wake up their inner hyena to do all those stupid stuffs I just mentioned!”
“Like this?”
He closed the distance once again and rested his lips on her cupid bow ones, pushed back every argument hanging on the tip of her tongue.
“Love birds!! Get a room!!”
They parted and turned to the source of annoying voice just to fins Taemin beaming into wide smirk across the hall.
“Mind your own business, kiddo!”
Jinki shouted to his brother who rolled his eyes before he continued walking to the direction of the library.
“I am so done with you!”
“Really? That fast?”
He darted his eyes to down south and Gwiboon’s cheeks cannot hide the blushed anymore.
“Creepy old pervert! I’m leaving!”
Jinki cracks on the spot but not losing his chance to grab her wrist, stopping her for going somewhere else.
“Can you stay for another 15 minutes?”
“I have an appointment with my supplier and you said you need to fix the structure calculation before this weekend. And also..”
“Also?”
She sighs while slipped the straps of the bag on her shoulder, “Jonghyun might be here anytime. Just like Taemin.”
“So what?”
“He is your best friend!”
“And he’s your brother.”
“Who doesn’t even care that I’m exist.”
“Kim Gwiboon.”
“Lee Jinki.”
“Are you keep it secret from Jonghyun?”
“No, he already knew.”
“So?”
“I just don’t want to make everything more complicated. And awkward. I’m doing you a favor here.”
“Gwiboon, I don’t need your help. I’m okay.”
“But I’m not.”
Both of them are sinking into silence. And without asking, Gwiboon understands how disappointed Jinki at this second.
“Jinki, all my life has been a cold war. I know this is hard and too much to ask, but I hope you have a big heart on it. For once in my life, I want to forget everything and believe only on the reality that I want to acknowledge.”
“I understand. But if you just want to care about what you believe, why you bother to care about other’s opinion?”
“Because I care about you.”
He couldn’t believe what he just heard. When he shot his head up, the girl in front of him looks so vulnerable.
“I’ll see you on Friday. Good luck with the structure stuff.”
And she just walked away, not giving him a chance to hug her or even bid goodbye.
***
Two people lying on a dark indigo fluffy carpet while their head on the bed, or more like thick mattress, with their mind wander in their own track. Above them, a simple handmade pendant lamp is hanging on the open wooden structure ceiling. Sun’s seeping through the small window, making a great shadow on the wall beside which occupied by tall wooden cabinet where books and zombies figurines march neatly.
What makes Gwiboon loves to spend her time here is not only because of the slanted eyes boy is laying next to her, busy reading a quite thick book. The atmosphere inside this sanctuary soothing her mind, high ceiling released her stressed feeling inside her chest.
“You should put something green on that cabinet.”
“Hmmm.”
“Small succulent in colorful pot won’t hurt.”
“I have no time taking care of any plant.”
“Cactus only need water every one or two weeks, idiot.”
When her elbows stick onto his ribs, he could only flinch, but not planning to stop reading or whatsoever.
“Tell me three things I don’t know about you.”
This time, she got his attention. He put down the book on his stomach and turned his head to his right just to find Gwiboon staring right to the ceiling, fingers intertwined resting on her chest.
He chuckled then, discarded the book and rolled himself, supporting his head with one arm, the free one decided to play with Giwboon’s fringe, “What kind of thing?”
“Anything. Something secret. Something special that only you and your family know. Or even something you kept for yourself.”
“Hmmm. Let’s see,” Gwiboon leaned to her side so she’s currently facing Jinki, tint pink smudged on her cheek, “But in exchange you need to tell me three things about you.”
“Okay.”
“Promise?”
She smirked then lifted her head a bit so her pouty lips can land perfectly on Jinki’s full ones, “Promise.”
As if hypnotized by her action, he opened his secret drawer right away, “I’ve dyed my hair pink.”
For Gwiboon, even though Jinki’s well known in their circle, she still presume the latter is someone with reserve personality and far for her wild imagination.
“You would never pull it off. No way.”
“Yes way. But it only last for maybe around four months? Or five? I don’t remember,” he picked his phone and roamed to his gallery, “It’s about the same time when Taemin decided to turn his hair purple.”
“I bet you looked so sexy back then,” Gwiboon stretched her hand to brush Jinki’s hair which then the latter stopped her hand with his mischievous grin.
“Nothing beat you when it comes to being sexy.”
She rolled her eyes but failed to hide her blush, “Stop being cheesy! Now facts number two!’
Jinki could only laugh and messed up her front bangs again, a new habit he developed lately whenever the latter around, “When I was in Brazil, I wasn’t exactly live there for three months.”
“What do you mean?”
“I stayed in Argentina for a month and two other weeks in Chile.”
“Wow.”
“You do fascinated by that?”
“No, not even slightly. But the fact all of your fans out there assumed you’re volunteering slash surviving in the heart of Amazon forest for three whole months is indeed really fascinating.”
“Which fans? I’m not even famous in my department.”
“I’m actually at the point feeling confused whether you are too naïve or too cocky. Then can you explain why people were extremely happy when the rumor about you ditched me broke out?”
Gwiboon’s heart almost dropped to the ground when Jinki’s eyes torn a bit before kissed her nose in flash, “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s their right to hate me. I am not that kind either to them,” she tried so hard to shrug his concern, “Now the last one.”
“This is embarrassing.”
“As long as it’s not you telling you’ve been stay behind the bars, I’m okay with that!”
“Sorry to disappoint you, but I am not that wild. It’s happened when I’m on 5th grade. I once cried when I got 2nd place in the class.”
And when the girl next to him burst into one massive laugh, he could only blast sheepish smile as his cheeks felt a lot warmer than it supposed to be.
“Now’s your turn.”
“Lee Jinki, the best model student ever, everyone!”
“Enough with me,” Jinki’s sulking and leaned back again to the carpet, hands folded in front of him like a five year old, “I told you that’s embarrassing. Taemin has been mocking me my whole life. You better not join force with him.”
“But that is so cute. I can imagine you, cheeks puffing, eyes almost gone, bawling secretly on your bed, face drenched with tears.”
“I wish I hadn’t told you that!”
“That means you’re human, baby,” she placed both her hands to his cheeks and turned his face to make those eyes level with hers, “I was a nerd, too. I have no friend besides Jonghyun and my books until middle school.”
“There’s no such thing in the world.”
“You can check it out. Ask Jonghyun. But probably he would say nothing and telling you that you’re wasting your time.”
“Let’s say it’s true, what else?”
“I’m closer to my grandmother than to my parents,” her throat suddenly felt a lot drier.
“I guess that happened to Jonghyun, too.”
“How do you know that?”
Jinki’s smile looks so sincere plastered on his glowing face, “Both of you are alike more than you realize. And choosing to stay in the dorm rather in your own house? That should at least speak something.”
“Seriously, you don’t stalk him behind my back, do you?”
“Don’t be jealous, baby,” he winked and got his forehead flicked by Gwiboon, “Is your life that boring? I need to hear something ridiculous.”
“I’m not a superstar like you. My life is full of hate and judgment.”
“Not stupid things like wet your pants? Stealing your parent’s money to buy new Barbie? Or got into fight with some other bitches?”
“I’m leaving soon, Jinki. And there’s no way whatever happened between us gonna last.”
Those words are already hanging at the tip of her tongue. However, when she’s looking at Jinki, those warm coffee color orbs shut her down, threaten her with the most horrible moment when finally their times together ruined.
“Fine. But promise me you won’t laugh at me?”
This time, Jinki’s the one who pecked her lips, “Promise.”
“I took my dog as my high school prom date.”
“Well, the story about an ugly duckling turned into swan is not a joke.”
She slapped his arm hard, “You promise not to laugh!”
“Am I looked like I’m laughing now?!” Gwiboon is pouting but she’s struggling not to laugh at the moment, “Is there no one to ask back then?”
“Minho and I broke up two weeks before prom. He got a new girl and I had no one. So I made a tuxedo for my dog and bring him to the party.”
“And that’s what we called secret. I always thought you are this popular chick everybody adores since you were young.”
“I told you I was a nerd, an outcast who suddenly decided to become a spoiler brat and selfish bitch. I think Minho is the only friend I keep until now.”
“You can keep me, though.”
“How can I keep everyone’s favorite just for myself?” Gwiboon turns her head ahead, staring back to the ceiling, “I’m done being selfish. I don’t think I can do that.”
“Being selfish is okay sometimes. You said we’re human, right?”
She closed her eyes when she caught by the corner of her eyes, Jinki fixed his eyes on her, “We are like a group of dysfunctional people,” she blurted out once he’s back to Jinki.
“I don’t think so,” he played with her hair again, leaned a bit and tuck it behind her ear and making Gwiboon’s almost choked with his sweet scent in such distance, “I’m about to finish my final project then started my master degree soon. And just so you know, this ding dong here is working rather fine lately.”
Jinki looked down and bashfully grinned making Gwiboon slapped him once again, “It’s not what I mean, pervert!!”
It’s hard not to be flustered by such a comment. Especially when she realized her heart beat faster whenever Jinki made that face, the ridiculously adorable dork, literally Jinki’s being himself.
“Most people get to know each other first. Then when they feel like it, they kissed. And probably make out. But we’re having it backwards. We kissed. Some unintentionally, some planned, well, we kiss a lot just to sum up. Then later on, here we are, peeling out ourselves layer by layer.”
“Well, we aren’t common people at the first place, just in case you forgot.”
She really could just sigh, “What are we, really?”
Jinki shifted uncomfortable before convinced himself this is what both of them wanted at this moment, “Two people enjoying each other presence and silently hoping time would just stop like this.”
Gwiboon sighed, maybe too loud, making Jinki frowns again, mind battling whether he said the wrong thing or not.
“You’re right. Maybe I just want to stay like this forever.”
“Staring at the ceiling?”
“Of course not, stupid,” She turned and caressed his cheek in a slow motion, “Feeling you breathing next to me just to make sure I am not alone.”
His hand wrapped hers and dragged it right onto his chest, “You will never be alone again as long as you let me be around you.”
Two or three months ago, Gwiboon might be bet all of her possession to hear Jinki said such things like this. But when he’s finally here, not only looking to her direction, but also give her the best smile she ever seen and hold her hand so tight, she actually wanted to mop her heart and curse the universe for playing with her feeling and time.
Mostly to the time for being such a tease.
“Promises are made to be broken.”
“Wanna bet?”
Before Gwiboon could retail some words in her mind, Jinki’s lips already pressed to hers. Slow and careful, delicate like a ballerina, they’re dancing with her soft flesh, step by step tickling her heart. She gave up under his touch and returned the favor, kissing him back. This time inside her head, fireworks do appear. But they explode together with dynamite, one to another.
They parted away when both of them lack of air, but apparently Jinki doesn’t give her time to rest her heart by sneaking his hand under her back, scooping her a little so their chests pressed tighter than before and his full lips back to claim her pouty ones.
“Jinx, what if this is just a dream?”
“Then I refused to wake up.”
“I mean it. What if, suddenly we were apart?”
“I’ve been there and it tortures every possible part of me. I won’t cross that path again, Gwiboon.”
“That’s not answering my question.”
“Are you seeing another man right now?”
“What? No!”
“Your parents set you into some arranged marriage?”
“Of course not!”
“Are you dying?”
“Jinki, you are nuts! I’m not sick!”
“Then everything can wait. But not this.”
His face is completely hovering hers now. And Gwiboon barely sane to compose anything in her mind.
***
The pain stings her head disturbed her sleep, force her to flex opened the feline eyes and move her damned limb. However, the view that greets her is way far from familiar. Outlining the sun ray seeped into the cold room with her barely functional eyes, she realized she’s not in her dorm. Or in her home.
“…”
The lump covered by the grey blanket on her left moving up and down in a sluggishly pace. She unwrapped herself extra carefully not to make sound more than 10 decibel. But the room is too poor lit when she left the mattress to find her blouse. So after 10 minutes of groping on the dark, she gave up and head to the wardrobe – the only thing she remembered where’s it located – and grabbed pair of boxer and random t-shirt.
Thank God her jeans are still visible enough to be discovered. Tiptoeing, she snatched her shoes, phone, and purse in one go before reaching the door, slowly pulled it and slipped herself in less than 30 cm opening, closed it really slowly in an attempt to not produce any noise that might wake up the owner of the house.
“Good morning, Princess,” her heart dropped to the ground and Taemin just raised his mug to salute her, successfully making her failed miserably to avoid the walk of shame parade, “Going somewhere?”
“Can you lower your voice?”
“Why do I need to tone down my voice in my own house? Do I look like a thief?”
“Ssstt! You might wake up everyone, you idiot!”
“The only one that hasn’t woken up is my brother behind that door. I already feed Eve and my mom already went to the market and back.”
“Your Mom’s home?!”
“Why wouldn’t she?” he laughs since he knew why she screamed and more because Gwiboon’s terrorized face is too funny, triggers him to mess with her even further, “I wonder what happened last night that makes both of you woke up so late. My brother didn’t throw a party inside his room, did he?”
“Lee Taemin..”
“Maybe horse riding? You know when someone sit on the top and move up and down, back and forth… “
Her face is now more crimson than ripe tomato.
“…on the track. But we don’t have horse so it’s impossible. Or midnight work out? Yeah, I guess so, my brother works out like crazy lately.”
The smile plastered on his face knocked her down without Taemin even tried so hard.
“Can you be adult for once and stop shouting?”
“Is this what you called shouting?”
“Cut it off before your Mom heard anything!”
“She’s busy cooking, she won’t hear shit even you’re moaning.”
He sent her a wink, built a nausea feeling on her tummy, “Thanks for the notes! I’m leaving!”
“Please, you know that the kitchen in our house is next to the front door right?”
Gwiboon stopped right away after only three steps.
“So when you’re on your way, don’t forget to say hi to my Mom.”
“Fuck.”
He finished his coffee and chuckles at her, “Why don’t you join us for brunch?”
What kind of idea is that? Sharing the dining table on Saturday morning with someone’s Mom that has no idea what happened behind her son’s door last night? And without taking shower? Make up?! Oh, hell no!
“No one’s care you already take a shower or not, this is Saturday morning, for God’s sake. But if you refuse to walk with me to the dining table, you can just go back to my brother’s room,” now he leaned on the wall, arms folded with his empty mug hangs at his finger, “And wait until my Mom kick that door to ask him for brunch and maybe you as well since you’re inside. How about that?”
“There’s no way your mother found me inside your brother’s room!”
“Why not? She knows you’re here anyway.”
“What?!”
“Taemin! Wake your brother and his girlfriend up! Get in here three of you before this chicken get cold! it’s not my style to serve frozen food to a guest in my house!”
Gwiboon looks like a stray puppy who waits for her death sentence when Taemin raised his brows as if he’s saying ‘I told you’.
“What should I do?!”
“Go back to that filthy room, drag my brother’s ass out, and have a really nice brunch with us. As easy as that. Besides…”
“Besides what?”
“Besides, my brother wouldn’t be pleased knowing you wandering around the city.. you know.., senza underwear.”
She covered her chest with her purse in instant and ran to the door at the end of hallway while cursing inside her head.
“I’ll see you both soon!”
She slammed the door behind her doesn’t even care whether it’s polite enough to do in other’s property.
“Why so loud in the morning?” lazy voice came from the far right of the room, Jinki sat on the mattress without anything covering his torso, bed hair all jolted here and there, try to collect all his soul, eyes squinted to Gwiboon’s direction, “Is that my t-shirt?”
***
Part 7.
HI PEOPLE I AM BACK! I am sorry for neglecting this series for a really really really long time God’s know how. This is unedited, so if there are so many mistake, I apologize. The grad school is taking all my energy. I’m supposed to work for museum research now but I just too tired to think about building design analysis. How are you peeps?! Any comment any question about this, just let me know! Hopefully, I’m going to be more often to update! Lots of love from Italy! Enjoy! XOXO
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“And the most important piece in this hall is this one,” the blonde girl with the blue scarf presented the sculpture behind her, “Antonio Canova created this beautiful artwork for Empress Josephine, the wife of the infamous Napoleon Bonaparte.”
She checked the small pocket book about the artist which she prepared before her departure to Italy. It’s supposed to be a work trip to cover cultural tradition in several cities. Yesterday she wrapped all the exploration in Verona. And efore moving to Venice, her obsession to sculpture brought her here, a museum in Possagno which became a home for the masterpieces of Canova, an Italian Neoclassical sculptor.
“There’s a story behind this sculpture, the reason why it’s called The Three Graces,” she stepped closer to the woman in the middle of the crowd, “We all know, that this sculpture, from left to right, representing the beauty of Zeus daughters, Euphrosyne, Aglaea, and Thalia. But when he’s working on this piece, he also took another inspiration from society perception during that period. Anyone know what’s that?”
Some people seemed intrigued and started discussing with their surroundings. Some just nodded quietly, having conversation with themselves, some just left and continued to explore the museum.
“If we see closely, their hands are so delicate, the way they touched, the way they embrace each other. But we can see these three beautiful women are all different. Why is that?”
Once again, the crowd splits into silent and murmurs.
“This sculpture portrayed what beauty is in the past. The first one, a beautiful woman must have brain. A smart woman considered the most beautiful. Let’s take a look at the middle one, her head’s slightly higher than the two. Here we can understand, that she’s the smartest, thus she’s the most beautiful.”
She cocked her head to focus on the middle sculpture. She’s the smartest and the prettiest, yet she still humbled and lowered her head, she thought.
“The second beauty is still the same with present days, the beauty that we can directly see with our bare eyes. The one on the left, are shaped in the confident posture. She had the most uncovered body part, to show how physically beautiful she is.”
She remembered her grandmother’s words, being a woman is not easy. The society would take times to realize that woman’s place isn’t below the man. Therefore you should be confident, and do what you gonna do, believe yourself, and you’ll overcome everything in life, she recites once again the last message she received from her before she moved to the capital.
“And the last one is generosity. However, in the past, the term of generosity he meant here is how the woman would spend her time to carry a baby and give birth to them.”
An invisible truck just hit her from the back. She didn’t know she dropped her book until the lady next to her tapped her arm and returned it back to her. She could only send her a quick smile, a very forced one, it’s almost painful to see.
“Ironically, the Empress Josephine herself couldn’t give a child to Napoleon. In the dire need to have an heir, at the end Napoleon had to divorce her.”
Her feet worked on itself, sprinted her torso that has no more strength to hold her above the ground. The spring breeze wiped her drenched cheeks once she’s sitting by herself, eyes looking forlornly to the front, focusing to some spot away across the hill.
Still with uncontrollable sob that seemed become messier every second passed, she took out her phone from her purse and pressed the speed dial.
“Hey, Honey. Di—“
“Please, don’t divorce me. I beg you.”
“What?”
“Please.. don’t leave me. Don’t leave me alone..”
Gwiboon’s practically bawling. The streams running down her face, harder than before. Last week they went to the hospital to get the result of the test they took on the visit two weeks prior. The ob-gyn greeted them with a bright smile, awfully pole apart with the statement she had five minutes later.
She found three cysts in her ovaries, as the result of endometritis she suffered since she was young. The doctor described that most ovarian cysts are benign and would naturally go away on their own without treatment. However, due to Gwiboon’s excessive activities and works, she needs to get another check-up as soon as possible to get better diagnosis because one of the cyst is apparently almost considered ruptured one.
The whole conversation explained everything to her. It’s the reason why she always got merciless abdominal pain during her period. It’s the reason why her period cycle is a mess. It’s the reason why up until now, their fourth year of marriage, she still cannot get pregnant. And the horror of being divorced just because she’s not fertile enough to continue the family tree strikes her in a very harsh way.
“Honey, Gwiboon, what happened? Are you okay? What are you talking about? Please, don’t make me take the closest flight to Italy. Tell me everything’s alright, Love, please.”
Unable to compose herself still, she kept crying on the phone, worrying her husband on the other line, “I just.. It just.. It just hit me. It would be so hard for me to give you the daughter you always wanted. I might have no chance to get pregnant. At all.”
“Dear, God. Honey, the result’s still bothering you? It’s treatable, you heard yourself, we already have the schedule to see the doctor again once you get back. We will find a way. It’s okay, Gwi. It breaks my heart listen to you cried like this.”
“I am afraid.. I’m afraid you would leave me if I cannot have a baby..”
The man on the other line tried to suppress his own weeps, he took a very deep and long breath before carry on with the call.
“I, Lee Jinki, promise to be there for Kim Gwiboon. I promise to love her unconditionally, until all hair became white and all we could do is sitting together on the porch, wrapped in each other’s embrace, while listening to the sound of the rain. I promise to stay by her side, both in face full of acne or adorn by after sex glowing. Both in bad hair day or freshly cut hair. Both in debt after all week shopping or granted promotion bonus. Because she is the only home I will be coming back to. Do you remember that?”
She nods vigorously, and found herself being stupid because obviously Jinki cannot see any of that.
“Listen. I married you not because I wanted you to bear my child. But because I love you. So what if we can’t get pregnant? We can do surrogate. We can adopt. A baby. Twins. Or dogs. Bunch of dogs. Or just stay the two of us, so we can have sex whenever we want, wherever we want. Stop blaming yourself, will you?”
The nightmares she had every night after the doctor appointment were hell for him. He has no heart seeing Gwiboon’s sleep talking, stating how useless she is, or how everything is her fault if they couldn’t have baby.
The weak chuckle he heard after a dreadful silent eased his mind. Oh, how he wished he’s in Italy right now to hug her tight and kiss all over her face.
“I miss you, Lee Jinki.”
“I miss you more, Princess. And remember, I would never, never divorce you just because you’re unable to conceive.”
“Because you love me?”
“No, because the alimony,” he scoffed, “Of course because I love you, you silly head!”
“Oh, I almost die for a second.”
“Then I’d go to underworld, jump to the dead river to rescue your soul, bring back my beautiful wife to me and we live happily ever after.”
“Hercules?”
“Yeah, it was on Netflix last night.”
She laughed, burden-less. The first time after what seemed like forever, haunted by remorse feeling and overdose anxiety.
“I love you, Lee Jinki.”
“I love you, Kim Gwiboon. Soooo so much.”
“Pick me up at the airport next week, then?”
“Yeah, can’t hardly wait.”
***
P.S.: all the stories of the sculpture are sourced to the guide explanation on my last visit to the museum. Hopefully, I wrote it right because I have a memory of a goldfish sometimes :P
P.S.S.: please mind all the grammar errors and everything incorrect, it’s almost 4 AM here when i finished writing this one hour drabble
The alarm clock’s buzzing madly on their bed's side drawer. But no one seemed to care about it.
“It’s annoying.”
“Hmmm,” instead of turn it down, he tighten his grip on her naked torso and pressing his chest to her back while he's nuzzling to her neck, “You’re closer.”
“How I supposed to get that if you're locking me like this?”
Her sleepy nag makes him chuckled and peppering her shoulder with kisses before making some room for Gwiboon to reach the clock.
“Why would you put that on at the first place?”
“Baby check.”
“Means?”
Gwiboon’s back beneath the blanket, reaching her husband’s hand, led it back to her waist, “I need to check on Taemin whether his diaper is full or not.”
“Oh, yeah. That little monster.”
This time is Gwiboon’s turn to chuckle. But it’s not even last two second before she turned to gasp when his stubby fingers tracing up to her belly then fondled the mound flesh on her chest.
“Hmmm, Jinki..”
And he’s more than turn on with her lazy voice, “I think another round wouldn’t hurt, babe..”
Gwiboon turned her limb and facing his angelic face which thousand times sexier with his messed up hair. She leaned forward and captures his fat lips in a long kiss. Her mouth opened when his tongue insist to have some heated battle with hers. When his hand sliding down and caress her butts, she smiles on his lips.
“It’s time to baby check, honey.”
“This baby needs to be checked to.”
She giggled for a while then pecked his jaw several times, “Jinki, it’s really time to baby check. You don’t want that little angel hauled in massive cry, right?”
“He’s your baby,” Jinki rested his lips on her forehead while secure her limb under his arm.
“It’s weekend so he’s yours.”
His laughter muffled on her skin making her shoulder nonchalantly following his silly behavior.
“But can I get the baby check after I took care Taemin?”
When Gwiboon shot her head up, mischievous smile hanging on his face, making stupid grin appeared on hers too.
“You’ll get fully checked at least two times, babe.”
Jinki pushed her back closer so he can devour her lips once again before he left to the other room.
“Shit, this is why I love weekend.”
“I can guarantee you’ll love it more aft––“
“ARE YOU GUYS DEAF OR SOMETHING?!?!!! Your son's crying like hell he disturbing my morning!!”
Their bedroom’s door slammed open, Jonghyun carried crying Taemin in his arm while his head looks so wrecked, clearly not enough sleep in the past hours.
Gwiboon has no time to backfire and pulled the blanket in surprise to cover her naked body.
“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?!?!!” She then turned her head to her husband who bursted out in laughter, “Jinki why does this asshole here?!?!!!”
“This asshole is your brother!” he pats Taemin’s back hoped he would stop crying, “Poor Taemin having irresponsible a mother like her.”
Once Jonghyun left to the living room, Jinki stretched his arms and scooped Gwiboon to his embrace, “He’s coming with me last night. We’re pretty knocked out so I asked Minho driving us here.”
“Why didn’t Minho take him to their apartment?! He’s his boyfriend for God’s sake!”
“He needed to go to the hospital. Emergency, you know,” seeing his wife rolling her eyes Jinki couldn’t help but kiss her again, “It’s okay, Gwiboon, I’ll go get Taemin.”
He jumped off the bed after give her quick peck on the cheek. Being as usual Jinki, he took a long time in front of their wardrobe just to pick some underwear and shorts.
“Babe.”
“Yes?”
“Can you just not wearing anything?”
Gwiboon smirks playfully to him. The view of her tousled bed hair with blanket up until her chin but long legs sprawled on the bed makes him feel content out of nowhere. He cracked again and picked anything he can snatch before he's back to Gwiboon’s side.
“You want Jonghyun drooling over my ass then?” Jinki kissed her scrunched nose to ease her down.
“Damn. That jerk will be here for at least until afternoon. He’ll definitely ruin my weekend!”
“Minho said he’ll be here soon. Don't worry. I'll wear them as low as could be,” Jinki raised his boxer in the air, his eyebrows wriggled up and down playfully.
Gwiboon smacked his chest while the latter trying to wear his underwear, “You bet. Or I cancel your baby check.”
“Ma’am, yes, Ma’am!”
They burst into laughter then. And seeing Jinki's standing there with eyes almost gone, pushed by his full cheeks, while his skin’s glowing caused sunshine started seeping to the room and landed on his naked shoulder, she knew her weekend is secured, safe and sound.
***
last one! hope you like this fail crack fluff you name it hahaha. i’ll see you very very soon! XOXO
