#jiminangst

Warnings: whoops attempted* angst ;0 other than that, none

Song inspos: it’s ok if you forget me, Astrid S (but imagine the exact opposite of what she sings) & mess it up, Gracie Abrams :’)

Word count: 1,500+

Summary: Jimin notices way too much about you, while you don't notice nearly enough about him. He also needs to invest in some hoodies.

a/n: hi hii :) this is my first completed fic i've writen on here, or anywhere at all for that matter kaplskjjs ahh i really hope you like it. Let me know what you think, feedback is super super welcome!! there is a flashback that's written in italics, and i took ridiculously long trying to come up with a summary which i'm sTILL iffy about. i'm also new on here so let's be frens :))

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Park Jimin has never regretted something more in his life. Sure there was the time when he hadn’t listened to his mom when she told him not to climb that one tree in their backyard, which ended with him in a very itchy cast and a long scolding from his mom. Now, years later, he wished his mom had warned him before he gave you a part of him you’d never want or need; his heart.

It’s not like he didn’t know what he was getting himself into, he knew you held his heart in your small hands (even smaller than his, HA! ) and he thought he didn’t care. Oh how naive he’d been to think that.

2 months ago:

It had been exactly seven months and three days since he realized he was in love with you, his best friend of six years. You had cried in his arms over Aaron? Adam?? He couldn’t really remember who it was this time.

“Why won’t he love me?” His heart breaks as you look at him as though you really want an answer. “Why won’t any of them love me?”

His fingers twitch at your waist. He wants to scream about how much he loves you but he refrains, settling instead for a small pained smile. He doesn’t try to say anything, not trusting himself to not ask you the exact same question. Why won’t you love him? He hugs you harder into his chest as a new wave of tears rack through your body.

He was wearing the purple hoodie you’d once mentioned you loved seeing him in. It was beginning to fray on the left shoulder where you’d always lean into while you cried. Not that you’d notice anyway, but he always wore it when you called with a shaky voice and he invited you over. It felt like it was yours, same as his heart.

He didn’t know how you couldn’t see it. The way he’d drop anything and everything for you. Let you pick any version of himself, let you mould him in any way if it would get you to love him back. He’d always adored you, and somewhere along the line you’d subliminally snatched his heart.

Maybe you’d never love him the way he did you, but he had hope. His heart was big enough. No matter how long it took, how many times you unknowingly broke it, he’d always have enough left to give to you.

He watched you cry and only when you finally curled up, something between a wheeze and a snore coming from you did he speak.

“I love you, i love you forever. Promise.”

He knew you hadn’t even heard the promise he’d made to you two months ago, yet he couldn’t help but feel guilty knowing he needed to break it. His friends knew him to be very loving, very selfless, he feels selfish now. He’s leaving merely to save his own heart, breaking yours (though for a totally different reason) in the process.

He’d watched as you gave your heart to different men, never once thinking to give it to him. He was never even an option for you and that hurt. You couldn’t blame him for falling for you, not when you cared so deeply for everyone continuously giving your heart no matter how many times it broke you just gave and gave. The two of you are similar in that sense.

Loving you is painful, like he’s bursting into flames and freezing at the same time. He can’t keep this up. He doesn’t know how to act around you anymore. Hugging you was never a problem, everyone knows how touchy and affectionate he is, however every hug he’s given you in the last few months, he doesn’t know what to do with his hands. He usually wears his heart on his sleeve, now he feels he needs to constantly check himself hoping you didn’t catch him smiling dopily in your direction.

Jimin couldn’t talk to you without wondering if something he said sounded suspiciously like an ‘i love you’. He couldn’t even listen to his favourite songs anymore, they all reminded him of you, probably because you introduced him to most of them, it hurt all the same.

Had he fallen out of line when he kissed you on the cheek days ago?

He remembers thinking he was invincible when he made that promise, thinking his heart could take it. He also remembers you saying you’d never love someone as much as Andrew? What was his name damnit?

He noticed everything about you, and frankly he was tired. He needed some time to think, to rebuild his heart. To un-notice everything.

He zips up his suitcase, the moving van would be by in a bit to pick up the remaining boxes. The daisies on his windowsill that you got him for his birthday last year are drying up, he notices with a sigh. With one last glance at the room he releases his grasp on the purple hoodie and walks out the front door.

He hasn’t answered your calls all day, and he probably wouldn’t for a while... not that you know that. You think nothing of it as you drive up to his house, eyes puffy from all the crying you’ve been doing. Alex had just called asking to take a break, something about you being too intense and you couldn’t help but replay every moment in your head wondering where you went wrong. You badly needed to rant to your support system otherwise known as Jimin, craving one of his hugs.

You don’t even notice his black Porsche missing from his driveway. And you don’t think much of it when he doesn’t answer the door, simply pulling out the spare key he gave you for moments just like this.

You do, however, notice the emptiness of his house. Where in the heck did his couch go? And why is his house so cold? Where are all the pictures of the two of you and his family that decorated his walls. You’re beginning to get frantic as you search through room after room for something, anything to make this less real. To show you he’ll be back shortly. That he didn’t just up and leave.

Whatever the reason, you’re sure you can get him to come back, or at least talk to you. “Chim?” Your voice echoes through his hallway. Your converse screech on the bare floor and you’re running down the hall to his bedroom. You’re stumbling now, eyes blurry with tears and you call out again “Jimin?” He was really gone.

You only just catch yourself before you hit the ground. You stare at the purple material that had snagged your foot. A purple hoodie lies by you on the floor. You’re sobbing.

Jimin swears the distance between his house and where he’d parked his car a block away wasn’t this long. He’s panting as he grips the door handle, stumbling inside with sweat making his recently dyed-pink hair stick to his forehead.

It was definitely rash of him to just leave the hoodie behind. It was too sentimental to just leave here to collect dust until the landlord discovered it. He missed it already. It smelt partially of you after all your cuddling sessions, and as embarrassing as it might sound, he needed it.

He jogs down the hallway, all the memories the two of you had here send a pang straight to his chest that has him tripping over his feet. That’s when he hears it. Sniffling. Someone was sniffling in his house. More curious than scared, the boy takes cautious steps past the bathroom and towards his bedroom.

His hand comes to rest over his heart, when he sees a head of long pink hair, shade identical to his save for the few bleached streaks he’d missed when the two of you had dyed each other’s hair. His fingers itch to bring you to his chest. You were crying. Because of him.

He reaches out to touch you, his first instinct being to pull you into him, but he stops in his spot when the floorboards beneath him creak. He waits for you to whip around and hug him, maybe scream at him for scaring you with his absence like that. His face scrunches up at your words.

“I can’t do this without you, why would you just leave?”

Jimin has to press a hand into his mouth to keep the sob threatening to expose him silent. Why was he not surprised. Of course you hadn’t noticed how much he’d been struggling the past few months. How his love for you far surpassed that of a best friend. He doesn’t know why he thought you might have noticed. In fact, when was the last time he’d talked to you about his problems?

Whatever fragments there are left of his heart ache. He suddenly misses his mom. Misses her scolding more than anything else, that would hurt much less than this does.

Jimin does what he knows he must.

 Summary: He wanted to explain himself and all you wanted was to never see him again.

 Author’s Note: This is not one of my best works and I feel so crappy about it. I did not proof read or edit this and I wrote it in one go. Don’t expect much from this story, but don’t be shy in sending me feedback. Enjoy Lovelies!

 IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY, READ PART 1

   //

  Everything was distorted.

 The pounding in your head accompanied the blurry figures of what was supposed to be the people around you. If someone was to ask how many fingers they were holding up, you would most likely grab their hand and pull it close to your face. Then, you would accurately count the fingers one by one, yet still manage to confidently slur out the wrong answer.

 You were utterly and completely wasted as fuck.

 Despite the revealing clothes you were wearing, the alcohol was doing a fine job of keeping you warm, even though the sensation was rapidly becoming unbearable. The large and sweaty crowd did not help the matter either. Your heart was racing like a run away train and it seemed impossible to tame it. Beads of sweat started to form near your hairline and you were sure that you saw Daniel’s shirt starting to stick to him. You ignore how the outlines of his abs which could be seen through the now wet fabric.

 Your ears were starting to sting from the long-term exposure to the thumping music, so you suggested to Daniel to leave the dance floor to find a place to collect yourselves together. You did not feel like puking tonight and plus, your feet was starting to swell.

 You both managed to stumble away from the congested dance floor and into the kitchen, where Guanlin was waiting with a cup of untainted water for each of you.

 “Thanks,” you grinned at him stupidly.

 Guanlin rolled his eyes, “I can’t have the both of you get alcohol poisoning. Jisung and Jaehwan will take turns plummeting me to near death.”

 You wagged a finger in his face, “Noo, they love you too much to do that.” Your voice was scratchy and you leaned your head back to gulp down the water.

 “But, your boyfriend and his friends don’t.”

 Letting out a refreshing, ‘ahh,’ you waved a hand of dismissal.

 “Ehh,” you did not confirm it, but you also didn’t reject that thought either.

 Daniel leaned his back against the table top counter, where the people abandoned their game of beer pong a while ago. It was scattered with knocked over red cups and some were upright with left over liquid.  His eyes were tightly shut and his chest was rising and falling due to the deep breaths he was taking in order to calm his racing heart.

 “Geez, you should have taken it easy with Daniel. It is his first time at one of your parties after all.”

 Daniel held up a finger. “P-probably will be my l-last.” He looked awful.

 You weren’t doing so hot yourself.

 You were certain that you were going to pass out at any moment and quickly slung an arm over Guanlin’s shoulder. His hand immediately went around your waist to help with your balance.Without the support, your legs would have collapsed.

 Suddenly, a shadow loomed over you and you raised your head towards the source. You squinted to decipher whoever was in front of you, but the fuzziness was too thick.

 “Who the hell are you?” You groaned.

 “____. I need you to help me find Jimin.” Whoever this person was, their voice was laced with panic. Sensing the severity of their tone, you try your best to regain your senses back.

 You rubbed your eyes in hopes of clearing up your vision. The three blurry blobs finally morphed into one clear being. Jin.    

 “Jin, I can’t even find my own father. What makes you think I can find my own boyfriend right now?”

 You don’t know if you spoke coherently enough, but you hope that he understood some of the words in order to connect the dots.

 Guanlin clicked his tongue in agreement, “Yeah, do you see the state that she’s in?”

 Jin studied you up and down.

 You looked happy, way too happy for it to be considered normal. You were loopy.

 You were swaying and occasionally, Guanlin had to hoist you back up before you knock your head against the kitchen counter. Your movements were lethargic and when Jin stepped closer, he almost retched at the smell of alcohol from you.

 Even though he already knew the answer, he proceeded to ask anyways, “Are you drunk?”

 A giggle escaped from you, “Yup.” You popped your lips to emphasized the ‘p’.  

 This party was a bad idea.

 Jin pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. He’ll search for Jimin later.

 “Okay, come here you.” He held a firm grip on your hand and started pulling you somewhere, despite your protests. Jimin better thank him for this later.

 Jin motioned Daniel to follow him. He wasn’t well acquainted with the guy, but he knew about him and that was reason enough. Letting him possibly do something stupid or dangerous wouldn’t sit right on his conscious—especially if the guy was intoxicated.

 You try to pry Jin’s hand off of you by yanking your hand and even pinching him, but it was to no avail. Who would have guessed that you had a violent tendency when you’re drunk.

 As he tug you away from the chaotic scene,  you whined and bitched about how he was being a killjoy.

 “You’re not letting me have any fun,” you sulked like a child who was denied ice cream for dinner.

 Jin scoffed and threw a harsh glare at you, “On the contrary, I think you had too much fun.”

 Behind you, Daniel was already starting to sober up and he was finally able to distinguish his left hand from his right. He wished he could say the same thing about you.  However, he was still not in complete control of his body.

 “Uhh, where are we going?” He questioned the older man. Jin barely spared him a glance.

 “To her room and away from any alcohol. Unlike Jimin, she seems incapable of holding her liquor.”

 Dragging a struggling girl and occasionally looking over his shoulder to make sure another drunk person was following him, was the hardest card the universe has ever dealt Jin.

 Well, it wasn’t as difficult as taking care of six other guys, but he would say it was pretty damn close. What you lacked in strength, you made it up with persistence.

 Jin’s pretty sure you scratched some of his skin off. How was he going to explain the cuts to the make up artists?

 When Jin arrived in front of your bedroom’s door,  he could not have breathed a bigger sigh of relief. However, the boulder on his chest was not going to completely lift until you were safe and sound inside.

 Still keeping a hold on you, Jin fumbled with the door knob. To the side, Daniel snatched away a red cup from your hand before you could down it. You swiped it from an unsuspecting girl who was too busy grinding against some guy in the hallway to notice.

 When he finally managed to open the door, Jin was greeted with a sight that broke his heart. A sight so heart wrenching that even the most hardened criminal wouldn’t want to wish upon his worst enemies. Hell, the criminal would even form a short alliance with his enemy to hunt, maim, and even kill the person who’s responsible for the occurrence.

 His band member, his friend, and his brother was getting his dick sucked by some random girl who Jin could not be bothered to find out her identity.

 One thing’s clear though, that was not Jimin’s girlfriend because you were right next to Jin and you…were speechless. Yet, your silence was louder than the bass-booted music that was rattling the walls.

 You felt like someone punched through your chest and harshly squeezed your heart, because you were certain that it stopped beating upon the sight.

 The betrayal, the heart break, the anger, the disappointment, the anguish; the emotions were oozing out of your tiny body and flooded the distance, which seemed to suddenly stretched for miles, between you and Jimin. Standing in the same room, you guys couldn’t have been further apart.

 It was like you were on the shore and he was on an island across the deep, blue ocean, far away from mainland. You were shouting to him, cupping your hands around your mouth in hopes that he could hear. But all he did was turn his back towards you and set off into the thick forest which swallowed him whole, leaving you grief-stricken.

 If Jin’s heart broke at what he was seeing, yours shattered.

 “This must be a dream right?” You softly whimpered to Jin. You managed to tear your gaze from your boyfriend to pathetically look up at Jin. Your eyes were glistening from unshed tears.

 “Please tell me this isn’t real.” A lump formed in Jin’s throat and he wanted more than anything in the world to tell you that you were just hallucinating, that it was just the alcohol messing with your brain. But he couldn’t.

 It was real, very real.

 “____....” Daniel whispered.

 It was like a switch was flicked off  somewhere and you were 100% sober.

 “That’s my bed…those are my sheets…that’s my carpet.” You murmured.

 That’s my man.

 You felt completely numb. Your mind was like a dark abyss. You couldn’t conjure up any excuses for him, for why he was in this position, yet you foolishly desperately racked your brain for one.

 Look at me Jimin, please.

 But he didn’t. His eyes were shut and he looked like he was in pure bliss. He couldn’t see you. He couldn’t see the damage that he’s done.

 A moan ripped from Jimin’s throat. The girl had a mouth on her.

 Your blood ran cold.

 “Jimin!” Jin roared.

 Jimin’s eyes snapped open and the first thing that he saw was you. He will never forget what your eyes looked like in that moment. You didn’t have to say a word, because they said it all.

 A flicker of all the emotions passed through your face before your features steeled. You created a barrier between you and the love of your life, like a wall jutting out from beneath the earth’s surface.

 Before you collected your composure, Jimin was able to pinpoint one of your emotions, which so happened to be the one that frightened him the most.

 Hatred.

 Jimin immediately jerked his body away from the female and scrambled for his clothes, trying to recover what was left of his decency.

 The girl finally noticed the audience that gathered inside the room and with red cheeks and swollen lips, pushed through you, Jin and Daniel.

 While he was getting dressed, Jimin frantically repeated your name like a mantra. He maintained eye contact with you despite Jin yelling at him and Daniel sending him murderous looks. All that mattered was you.

 Please don’t.

 It was too much for you. He was too much.

 It was getting more difficult to breathe. You felt like your airway was constricted and that there was not enough oxygen going to your brain. You needed to leave. You needed to get out of here.

 You slowly shook your head at Jimin and without a word exchanged since catching him in the act, you immediately turned around.

 That was my man.

 “Wait! ___!”

 “Jimin, stop!” You can hear some scuffling behind you.

 “Let me go! I can’t lose her!” You made a mistake of looking back because Jimin was thrashing in Jin’s arms, his hands reaching out towards you.

 Jin was buying you time. You knew he wouldn’t be able to hold Jimin for much longer, so you quickly picked up the pace and disappeared into the dance floor.

 Now, with your back towards him, you let some of your despair seep through. Seeing Jimin so desperate pulled at your heart strings, but you were also too wrapped up in your emotions to give a damn at this point.

 You couldn’t get the image of Jimin and that girl out of your head.

 Your shoulders continuously bumped into people as you try to weave through the crowd. You ignore the concerned calls of your friends and the members. Instead, you bee lined straight towards your front door.

 20 more steps. 10 more steps. 6 more steps. 2 more steps.

 “____!” A hand gently gripped your upper arm, stopping you in your tracks. “Where are you going?”

 You were usually calm, even irrationally calm in certain situations where it would make sense to freak out sometimes. You could be hit with a bus and you would still say, “It wasn’t that bad. It just stings a little,” while laying in the hospital bed with several broken bones. That’s the kind of person you were.

 Something was off about you.

 Jungkook examined your state. Your lips were trembling and your eyes kept darting to the right towards the crowd, like something was going to jump out at any second. Your nose was pink even though it wasn’t cold in the apartment and there was a sense of defeat in your aura.

 “Are you okay?” Jungkook questioned in concern.

 “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. I just need some air.” If you stayed any longer, Jimin would no doubt catch up to you.

 Unnerved with the idea of you going out by yourself, Jungkook offered to go with you.

 “No.” You quickly rejected.

 You offered him a tight smile. “Look, I have to go Jungkook, so please.” You attempt to shake him off of you and he was about to let it go until…

 “Jungkook! Don’t let her leave!”

 You can spot Jimin’s head over popping up in the crowd of people, waving to get Jungkook’s attention. The one time that you wanted Jungkook to not listen is the time where he suddenly wants to be obedient.

 Jungkook immediately latched onto your petite frame by grabbing a hold of your shoulders, preventing you from opening the door.

 You panicked. You fought and pleaded with Jungkook to let you go.

 “No, no, no. Jungkook!”

 Jungkook had no idea why Jimin wanted him to hold onto you. Initially, he assumed that you guys were playing one of your childish games and he wanted to team up against you. But he soon realized that it was not the case.

 You looked so desperate and helpless to get away from him, from Jimin.

 “Please! Don’t do this to me,” you whimpered out. The pain in your voice was so raw that Jungkook was slightly fearful. It was heart-wrenching.

 Going against Jimin’s wishes, Jungkook loosened his grip on you and you took this opportunity to bolt out the door.

 “Fuck! ___!”

 Giving a particularly rough shove to Jungkook for letting you go, Jimin managed, with great difficulty, to finally step out into the hallway.

 But by the time he got there, he was too late.

 You were already gone and Jisung was nowhere to be found at the party.

  //

 “Get in!”

 You thanked every kind of religion and science out there when you saw your best friend pull up outside the apartment complex.

 You hastily did as you were told and Jisung didn’t wait until the seatbelt was buckled before stepping on the gas.

 The way he was driving would have given people the misconception that you guys just committed a robbery, but you weren’t escaping from cops; it was from the guy who broke your heart.

 You didn’t say a word to Jisung.

 “I saw him go in with her.”

 “W-what?” Your voice became unstable at his confession.

 “I was trying to tell you, but I couldn’t find you anywhere and—,” he paused. He pushed his hair back in frustration. “God, ___. I should have stopped him, but all I could think about was getting to you.”

 Your heart clenched. Your boyfriend cheated on you and your best friend was here blaming himself because of someone else’s actions.

 “I was too late. When I spotted you, you already saw what happened and I didn’t know what to do. I knew you wouldn’t be able to stay there, so I decided to get the car ready. You wouldn’t be able to drive and I didn’t want you bumping into the wrong person.”

 You kept silent. Everything felt so surreal. The events that transpired from the last twenty minutes hasn’t sunk in yet. You still weren’t able to wrap your head around the whole ordeal.

 Not knowing what to say, you leaned your head against the window. You watched the lights of the dead streets flash by. They were in front of you one second and gone the next. How fleeting.

 “Thank you,” you whispered, “It’s not your fault.”

 Without missing a beat, Jisung replied, “It’s not yours either ___.”

 //

 The people begrudgingly filed out one by one like an assembly line of ants. The atmosphere was hanging and heavy. The tension could be sliced with a knife.

 The mood was nothing like how it was five minutes ago.

 The members formed somewhat of a protective circle around Jimin from the group of men who looked like they were going to lunge at his throat at any second.

Even though he deserved a beating, if anyone was going to lay a hand on Jimin, it would be one of the members. Not anyone else.

 “You no good son of a bitch.” Guanlin growled.

 Jimin shrinked further into his shell in shame at the younger male’s remark. His members made no effort to defend him. They clearly allowed the verbal assault slide.

 “How could you do that to her?” Jaehwan snapped. He never approved of Jimin when he laid eyes on him. He thought Daniel was much more suitable for you. However, he had to accept that you were dating Jimin. But, turns out he was a cheating bastard.

 “I…I don’t know..” Jimin squeaked out.

 The response made Jaehwan’s blood boil.

 “Let me at him!” He charged towards Jimin, but was stopped by Namjoon and pulled back by Seongwoo.

 “Look, he doesn’t have to explain a thing to us. That is saved for ___. She deserves an explanation more than any of us here.” Yoongi rationally explained.

 Guanlin scoffed. “If she would even give him a chance to. I wouldn’t be surprised if she cut him off without hearing him out or set him on fire.”

 Jimin’s stomach dropped to his feet when he imagined you not wanting to have anything to do with him. Screaming and pleading at your back while you were getting further away from him was something he never though he’d do. Just the thought of never seeing you or hearing your voice again made his eyes burn with fresh tears.

 Hoseok, seeing Jimin’s distressed state, took pity on him.

 “He knows he did something wrong. He’s already beating himself up over it, so why don’t we just back off for a second? We should be worrying about ___.”

 “Does anyone know where she could be?” Jin questioned the men across from them.

 “If you think I’m saying a word, you all got me fucked up,” Guanlin spat. With one last cold glare at Jimin, he stormed out of the apartment. Jaehwan shortly followed after.

 All that was left was Seongwoo and Daniel, who was quiet the entire conversation.

 Sensing that the hostile situation significantly mellowed out, the members let their shoulders relax and stepped away from Jimin.

 “Do you know where she is?” Jimin meekly asked.

 It was the first time that he made eye contact with anyone since you vanished. He looked broken like someone who lost their shadow.

 “She’s safe,” Seongwoo helpfully offered, yet he still refused to disclose your whereabouts.

 Daniel walked away and began picking up the trash that littered the once pristine apartment. Even though there was nothing more in the world that he wanted than to sleep off the terrible headache the night gave him, he had to keep his promise.

 //

“You can stay here as long as you like.”

 The both of you stepped through the threshold and into his humble apartment.

 “It’s smaller than you’re used to, but I think it’ll accommodate you well.” Jisung carelessly threw his car keys on the stand in the hallway before making his way into the kitchen.  

 The opening and closing of the cupboards melted into the background as white noise as you stood there in the middle of the living room, staring blankly into space.

 Jisung nudged you on the shoulders, bringing you back to reality. He offered you a soft smile before gently pushing a cup of hot chocolate in your hands.

 “My mom used to make it whenever I’m having a rough day.” You graciously accepted the drink and let him guide you to the sofa.

 Your lips moved on their own free will, “Jisung?”

 He settled his gaze on to your face and hummed in question.

 “It hurts so much,” your voice cracked.

 Jisung was never good with words. Sure, he had friends and considered himself to be an extrovert, but when it came to situations like this, he was lost in the sauce.

 His mouth opened and closed a few times, urging the words to come out, but they didn’t. Instead, he wrapped his arms around you and laid your head on his chest. Actions spoke louder than words anyways.

 Jisung expected the dam to break and for the waterworks to begin. However, he heard no sniffles and he didn’t feel your body shake with sobs. You were completely frozen like a statue. The only thing that signaled that you were still alive was the subtle movement of your back from breathing.

 “Hey ___?”

 “Yeah?”

 “How come you haven’t cried yet?” Jisung curiously asked.

 You groaned, “I worked too hard on my eyeliner to mess it up.” Jisung laughed incredulously at your comment.

 You’re something else.

 After a few moments, you pushed him away and asked where the bathroom was.

 “I need a shower. Do you have any extra clothes that I can borrow?”

 “Yeah, of course! You can go on ahead and I’ll find you something to wear.”

 Muttering a quick thanks, you trekked into the bathroom and locked the door. It was the first time the entire night that you were alone.

 You placed your hands on the edge of the sink and glanced up at your reflection in the mirror. Contrary to popular belief, you still looked put together. It was not a sight of someone who just had their heart broken. You looked just as good now like you did after you finished putting on fresh make up. You looked sinfully delicious.

 Your red lipstick was incredibly bold, making it stand out against your features. Jimin picked it out. He wanted that color to be around his dick.

Remembering your promise to Jimin about sucking him off later, bile conjured up in your throat and you tried to surprise it. However, you emptied your stomach contents into the toilet seat next to the sink.

 “____? Are you alright?” The doorknob jiggled.

 Ignoring his concern, you proceeded to rinse your mouth and repeat. You shrieked in terror when you saw that the red lipstick was still intact.

 “___! Open the door right now!” Jisung pounded on the door frantically, the hair on the back of his neck sticking upright.

 You harshly scrubbed your lips with your nimble fingers. You pinched your lips, wanting to tear them off of your face. It was working. The red tint finally budged and smeared all across your face. You were starting to look like the Joker. The perfect image of you was finally shattered, revealing the storm inside of you.

 Both of your hands reached up to your head, yanking at your wavy locks.

 Jimin and that girl.

 “I love you.”

 “I love you too.”

 You let out a blood-curling scream at the flashback. The bathroom began to fog up, but it wasn’t from any hot water. You didn’t even turn on the shower head.

 You were crying.

 A loud bang signaled Jisung’s arrival and he quickly surveyed the scene. His first priority was you. He checked you up and down, praying that you didn’t hurt yourself.

 There was no crimson red except the ruined lipstick on your face. Your sobs echoed in the tiny bathroom and you no longer had the strength to stand. Jisung immediately caught you before you hit the cold tiled floor.

 You let all of your walls down. The walls that you worked so hard to build around yourself after witnessing Jimin’s atrocious act, crumbled the second you were left alone with nothing to distract you.

 You ripped the bandaid off of your heart and it wouldn’t stop bleeding.

 //

 It was Monday. It’s been 3 days since the party.

 Jisung’s place was your safe haven and without your phone, you were fortunate enough to not deal with the constant buzzing that you would have if you had the device.

 Hearing the news of your melt down on Friday, Guanlin, Seongwoo, and Jaehwan dropped by over the weekend to ensure you didn’t do anything drastic, like jump off the balcony. But you had no intention to.

 They claimed that they were just there for company, but you knew better. You weren’t stupid enough to be oblivious to the wary glances that they sent your way. They were babysitting you and it was driving you insane.

 Knowing that you had to go back on campus for classes, you returned back to your apartment early afternoon to grab your cheerleading uniform.

 It wouldn’t be right if the cheer captain didn’t show up to practice.

 You made your way down to the spacious field, where the other teammates were waiting for your arrival. If they knew what happened at the party, they made no indication of it.

 “Before we start off, I have an announcement.”

 You scanned the line of girls in front of you before pointing at one of them. You crooked your finger at her, telling her to step forward. She chewed her bottom lip in nervousness before doing so.

 “You’re off the team.” You smirked.

 Whispers erupted from amongst the group. Some of the girls didn’t even flinch at your decision while the others were wondering what the girl did to suffer your wrath.

 “You can’t do that to me!” The girl protested.

 You scoffed before dryly drawling out, “I can and I will. You should have thought about that before giving my boyfriend a blow job.”

 Her face flushed scarlet and it reminded you of a Baboon’s behind.

 You waved a hand at her. She’s been dismissed and she knows it. Stomping off the field, you can feel the anger and embarrassment radiating off of her.

 Too bad you didn’t give a single fuck.

 //

 Jimin was here.

 When your teammates hoisted you into the air, you spotted him in the bleachers. It was amazing how in a crowd of hundreds of people, you were naturally attracted to him.

 You went into shock and you struggled to maintain your balance, almost resulting in you falling. Jimin jumped up from his seat in concern and had to hold himself back from running down there to personally check on your well being.

 You haven’t seen him last week and you weren’t expecting him to attend one of the football games.

 Still, you continued on with your performance at half time and plastered on a fake smile for everyone. On the inside though, your anxiety skyrocketed through the roof, or lack thereof.

 After the game was over and your school won, you made your way into the parking lot.

 “___! Hey! There’s an after party at Jaehwan’s. Are you coming?” Guanlin ran up to you and slung an arm around your shoulders. The rest of the guys followed behind.

 “I’m actually exhausted guys. I think I might sit this one out,” You rejected the offer.

 Guanlin whined at your response. “I’m not taking no for answer! Stop sulking over that dead beat and come have fun with us.”

 Before you can protest, the guys walked over to their cars. “We’ll wait on you!” They proceeded to lean against the vehicles, which were parked side by side, and engaged in a conversation.

 You rolled your eyes and once again, you let them reel you into one of their plans.

 You turned back around to head to your car before a voice made you stop in your tracks.

 “___.” It was him.

 You didn’t want to turn around. You weren’t ready to face him, but standing here looking like a fool wasn’t an option either.

 “Will you please look at me?” You shook your head at his ardent request.

 “Princess—,” You abruptly cut him off.

 “I am not your princess,” You vehemently seethed, “You lost that right to call me that the second you fucked another girl’s mouth. You shouldn’t even be able to call my name.”  

 A brief moment of silence settled between you guys. You were also aware that Guanlin and the others abandoned their conversation and watched the scene in front of them unfold.

 Footsteps charged towards you before Jimin was in front of you. There was no such thing as personal space in his dictionary, so you were able to feel the heat seeping through his clothes even though there was no physical contact. A whiff of his spicy cologne invaded your nostrils and you were quickly becoming overwhelmed by his mere presence.

 You took a step back and Jimin’s heart lurched to his throat at the movement.

 “Please don’t walk away from me,” he brokenly whispered.

 “You gave me every reason to walk away, Jimin,” You looked up to confront the love of your life.

 He looked like a wreck. His hair was sticking up in weird directions and his eyes were swollen from god knows how many hours of crying. However, you couldn’t find it in yourself to feel sorry for him.

 Your words made his heart break and he despised himself even more. Everything was his fault. It’s his fault that he was here, so close to you, yet undeserving of your touch.

 “I know, I know baby. I fucked up so badly and I am sorry! This past week, I couldn’t think of anything else but you. I wish I had an excuse, but I don’t.” Jimin earnestly explained himself.

 You stood there, soaking in every single one of his words.

 “Were you drunk?”

 “W-what?” Jimin uttered out.

 “Were you drunk, Jimin.”

 He was at a loss for words.

 Please say yes. Your eyes begged him.

 Even if it didn’t make what he did inexcusable, it would make you at least feel slightly better.

 “…..No…” Jimin reluctantly confessed.

 You inhaled sharply. “Get out of my way.”

 You pushed past him and to your car. You managed to open your door until a hand slammed it shut.

 “Wait, ___. Please. I don’t know what to do without you. Just give me another chance!”

 You grounded out, “ You let that bitch suck you off in full conscious!”

 You had to admire his bravery though.

 “You have a lot of balls to come crawling to me for a second chance.”

 Jimin caged you against your car and from your peripheral vision, you saw Daniel about to take a step forward until Seongwoo placed a hand on his chest.

 This was your fight.

 “For you, I’ll lay down my pride. For you, I’ll give you the whole world. You’re everything to me,” Jimin cried out.

 His warm breath blew on your face and you fluttered your eyes closed at the sensation.

 “Look at me.”

 You remained stubborn.

 “Please…” He begged.

 You went against your gut feeling and peeked from under your long eyelashes up at the man who ripped and trampled on your heart.

 Jimin reached up to cup both of your soft cheeks before planting a kiss on your forehead. “I can’t lose you… I won’t be able to breathe if I do.”

 Your hands shook when you went to place them on his much larger ones. You comfortingly rubbed your thumb against the back of his hands.

 “Then suffocate,” you coldly spat out.

 That knocked the air out his lungs.

 You roughly shoved him away from you before quickly getting into the sanctuary of your car.

 You ignored his desperate calls as he banged on the window.

 “No, no. Don’t do this to me. ___!”

 You didn’t spare him a glance, not even an additional word.

Summary:  Jimin was doubtful of  his relationship with you, even though you gave him no reason to. You guys were happy, until he made a decision that damned you both.

You should have known that nothing good was going to happen, yet you ignored your instincts and look where that’s gotten you.

Warnings: alcohol, drugs usage, implied sexual themes, cursing

 (Angst/Humor/Drama)

Author’s Note: Hi there readers! The first part is kind of slow and lengthy, but I hope you guys will enjoy it nonetheless! Part 2 will be uploaded whenever I stop procrastinating. Special appearances from some of Wanna One members. 

PART 2 IS NOW UP!  Part 2 

//

 I am going to murder him.

Trying to maneuver through sweaty, grinding bodies, was not how you envisioned your Friday night. This isn't what Jimin and his members expected either on their day off. You guys already made plans to have a sleepover at your place tonight, but you should have known that the friends you have always manage to reel you into whatever plans they concoct.

When your group of college friends uninvitingly came through the front door holding kegs, speakers, and bags of food, you already knew what they were asking of you.

You, being you, just couldn't say no.

//

The boys are back from their overseas trip from America and even though you are extremely proud of them, you missed them dearly. You missed your wonderful boyfriend, Jimin, especially. Seeing some of them gathered around your TV and playing whatever game they brought over, you can't help but smile warmly at the scene.

You and Jin are in the kitchen making dinner for the boys with Yoongi's help. Well, you were trying to help before Jin sent you away after seeing your cutting skills.

"You're worse than Namjoon," Yoongi teased.

You open your mouth to protest before Jin places his hand over it and gently push you out of the way.

"I agree, I get nervous just watching you. Who faces the knife towards themselves when trying to peel anyways?"

"Me," You lightly glare at them.

Jin takes the knife from you and pats the kitchen counter in the middle of the room.

"I think it will be safer for all of us if you just stay still."

Perching yourself on the spot, you swing your legs back and forth while munching on a bag of chips. Suddenly, a hand starts reaching into the bag and you quickly swat the person's hand away.

"Hey! This is mine." You close up the bag and hold it away from the person's reach.

"Is this how you treat your boyfriend after he's been away for so long?"

"If he's stealing my food, then yes." You stuck your tongue out at Jimin.

The bag of chips is snatched from your hand and Jungkook walks in front of you while obnoxiously eating them.

"Bastard," You muttered.

He flashes his bunny teeth at you.

"Look here you fu--"

Jin immediately glared.

"Look here you fluffy ball piece of sh--"

Jin throws a piece of carrot he's been slicing at you.

Before you can open your potty mouth to defend yourself, the doorknob to your apartment starts jiggling. All heads turn to the noise and the boys start looking nervous. You, on the other hand, took this opportunity to snatch your chips back from Jungkook.

You continue eating  and seem to be unbothered by whoever's trying to get into your place. You haven't realized that the boys gathered around you with a protective stance. Jungkook and Namjoon stood near the door, ready to tackle the person.

Jimin nudges your side with a concern look on his face.

"You do realize that someone's trying to break into your apartment."

You shove another handful of chips into your mouth before you look at your door.

"I know."

"What do you mean you know?" Taehyung perches himself next to you. You offer some to him and he sends you an incredulous look at your calmness.

"Because, the person's not going to hurt me." You tell Jungkook and Namjoon to step away from the door. They do so after some moments of hesitation.  Jimin swivels his head towards you.

"What  are you talking ab---" The door slams open. A tall and lean guy walks in while putting what seems to be a couple of unrolled paper clips into his pocket. He barely glances at the members before he set his eyes on you.

"You changed your locks again?"

You snorted and mockingly replied, "You picked my locks again?"

"I wouldn't have to pick it if you'd just stop changing it."

You rolled your eyes. "Well, I regretted my decision of giving you a copy of the key the first time."

"Good thing I learned how to pick locks huh?" He walks to where you were sitting and throws an arm around your shoulders.

You accusingly pointed a chip at him.

"Jisung, that’s illegal. I could report you for breaking and entering."

"Considering I'm your best friend, I doubt that you'd have the heart to send me to jail." You lightly nudged the bottom of his chin with your fingers.

"You're right, your pretty face wouldn't last five minutes in there." Jisung cutely poses while you scooted away from him and closer to Taehyung.

"What do you mean you gave him a key to your apartment?" Both you and Jisung turn to look at Jimin who looks a little pissed off.

Who is this guy and why does he have a key and he doesn't? Jimin knows that you and him have been distant lately due to the group's popularity. Even though communication was sparse,  he would always try to update you on his life to make up for it and he thought you did too. He assumed you shared everything that's been going on with your life while you guys were separated. Guess not.

You sheepishly blush at Jimin's question. "Oh, he gets bored sometimes and he comes over to hang out, which is too often," You throw a glare at Jisung and he just shrugs his shoulders.

" Guys, this is Jisung, my best friend as of five months ago. Jisung, this is Jimin, my boyfriend and his friends." The boys each quickly introduced themselves and shook hands with Jisung.

"Hey, aren't you guys from that popular boy group?" Namjoon looked nervous, but eventually confirmed the question. He doesn't know Jisung and is afraid he might leak to the press about where they are.

"Oh, cool."  The boys were slightly baffled at his nonchalance because, well, they are one of the most popular groups in the country.

Jisung then turns to you. "By the way, we're having a party here in an hour."

First of all, it's not even his apartment.

"Funny, I don't hear a ‘can’ and a ‘please’ in that sentence." You jump off the counter and went to throw away the now empty bag.

Jisung followed after you. "Oh come on! I do this all the time and you never had a problem before. Your apartment is the biggest out of all our friends too!"

You went to stand next to Jimin who raises his eyebrows at you at this newfound information.

"Yes, but as you can see I have guests over and I don' t know if they would feel comfortable with that." You glance at the boys in concern.

Taehyung excitedly voice out, "I don't mind! I think we need to loosen up a bit due to our hectic schedules." Jungkook and Hoseok murmured their agreements.

"I think that's a good idea, that means more people can taste my delicious food," Jin was stirring the steaming pot and smiled at you in reassurance.

Yoongi, who was quiet the entire time, finally speaks up.

"Wait, but what if they recognize us and everything gets out of control?" Namjoon points at Yoongi.

"You're right."

Jisung quickly addresses his concern. "Trust me, they won't be focusing on you guys. They're all here for that girl over there." He nudges his head towards you.

You notice that Jimin's been staring at the floor during the whole exchange. He's realizing how little he knows about you now. In fact, ever since you started university a few months ago, he has no idea what you've been doing, where you go, and the type of friends you made. The thought of you not even sharing something as insignificant as that makes Jimin uneasy. It’s like it’s not worth mentioning to him. It’s like he didn’t matter anymore and just the mere idea of that hurts.  

You laced your fingers with his own to get his attention. His eyes snapped to yours and you send him a soft smile.

"Is everything okay?" You whispered.

"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine." He lightly squeezes your hand and returns a smile of his own.

“So what do you think about a party?” Jimin’s opinion mattered the most to you because you know he’s already a little upset from earlier.

Jimin looks around the room and notices that everyone was waiting on his decision. Even though he was hoping for some quality time with just his girlfriend and his brothers, he also didn’t want to disappoint them.

“I think it would be fun.” Jisung holds out a hand for a high five which Jimin receives. Maybe he’s not so bad after all.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to Jimin.” You look at him in concern. You know how wild the parties can get and you don’t want him or the other boys to feel overwhelmed.

“No, it’s okay. I get to meet my princess’ s friends.” He pulls you close and kissed your forehead.

You see Taehyung and Jungkook literally bouncing up and down on their toes in anticipation and you can’t help but smile.

“Look’s like we’re having a party tonight.” There was a chorus of ‘yes’s and Jisung reaches into his pocket for his phone. His fingers moved across the screen before putting it back into his pocket.

A few seconds later the door slams open again and your mutual friends stagger through the entryway.

“What the hell took you so long Jisung? I thought I was going to be crushed by these heavy shits.” Jaehwan was struggling with numerous bags of what seems to be food and  drinks.

“You could have just placed them down in the hallway.” Jisung retorted.

“That’s what I told him too, but he refused to. Something about how he’s strong and can handle it.” Seongwoo follows in afterwards with a luggage. He sits down on the couch and starts pulling the speakers and wires out.  

“I’m sorry, but someone couldn’t quickly make up their mind.” Jisung glances at you.

You throw your hands up in exasperation.

“It’s not even your apartment!” A sudden thought occurred to you,   “Wait, you guys were outside the entire time?”

A voice sounds out from the hallway, “Of course! We knew you wouldn’t refuse.” Guanlin came in with the last of the decorations.

Jaehwan sets the bags on the kitchen counter with the help of Hoseok.

“Plus, we already sent out the invitations. Kang Daniel seems to be extremely excited about the party.” Jaehwan winks at you.

Daniel is one of your classmates. He  sits next to you in your literature class and you guys have become good friends after he lent you his assignment on one occasion.

You were confused. “Daniel? Why would he be excited for? He’s not the party type.”

“How dense can you be?” Jisung was sorting out the food on the counter. “Daniel worships the ground you walk on. The second I mentioned it was going to be at your house he immediately said he was going.”

You can feel Jimin tense next to you.

“Well, that’s unfortunate because I’m already taken and I happen to love my boyfriend very much.” You hold up your linked hands. Jimin relaxes a little at the reassurance.

“Poor Daniel. He’s going to be devastated. You’re a heartbreaker.” Guanlin shakes a finger at you.

You roll your eyes. “Just make sure you guys warn my neighbors about the party tonight. You know the drill.”

“Of course. The old lady from two doors down basically calls me her son now.” Seongwoo calls out from the couch. “Little does she know I already fucked her daughter.”

Taehyung chokes on his spit at the crude comment and Jin’s eyes widen.

“Speaking of fucking,” You walk up to Jisung and jabbed a finger in his chest, “you fuck in my room again and I’ll throw you over the balcony myself.”

Guanlin howl in laughter. “Jisung couldn’t even finish himself off before you kicked the door down. You couldn’t have even waited for the poor guy?”

“I’m surprised. He lasted longer than usual.”

“Oh my god.” Jungkook couldn’t believe his ears.

He couldn’t believe that you were saying all these things. Sure you cursed, but you were pretty tamed around the members and seeing how you act with your friends was shocking. Jungkook wasn’t the only one surprised. The others were too. This was a side that they’ve never seen before.

Jimin clicked his tongue and you can see the disbelief on his face. You can say some pretty dirty words when it’s in the bedroom but hearing you say it with other people around is new to him.

Jisung turns red and quickly changed the subject.

“Please tell me that’s not what you’re wearing tonight.”

You gave yourself a glance over before looking at him. “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”

You were wearing black leggings  with a grey t-shirt. The attire was appropriate for the sleepover you were supposed to have today, but clearly that plan is gone.

Jaehwan comments, “It doesn’t exactly scream party material huh?”

“I think she looks fine,” Yoongi was eating a cookie from the huge pile of food and you send him a thankful look.

“She doesn’t look slutty enough.” Jimin whips his head towards Guanlin and was about to storm towards him before you quickly block his way.

“Woah man, I didn’t mean to offend you.” Guanlin raises his hands up in surrender. Namjoon pulls Jimin next to him and laid a hand on his shoulder.

“Baby calm down. That’s just how he is.” Jimin sends you an incredulous look.

“You let him talk to you like that?” He grits out.

You wave a hand of dismissal. “He doesn’t mean any harm and he treats me with respect. I’m fine.”

Seeing Jimin getting riled up was heart warming. He still cares about you and you can’t help but feel happy. You thought the time you guys spent apart would have made your relationship stale. The fact that he still cared meant that he still loves you.

Trying to diffuse the tension, Jaehwan said, “At least put on a nice top. As cute as the Minions are, they’re not welcomed at the party.”

You couldn’t help but agree.

“Yeah you’re right. I think I’ll go get ready while you guys set up.” You turn to the boys.

“Why don’t you guys get to know one another while I’m gone?” Without staying a second longer, you pull Jimin towards your bedroom before closing the door.

You turn to Jimin who’s pacing back and forth. He was starting to regret his decision in agreeing to this party.

“These are the type of friends you hang out with?” His jaw was clenched and his eyes were hard.

You let out a sigh.

“Look, I know they can be vulgar at times, but that’s just how our group is. They’re actually nice people if you talk to them.”

You made your way to your vanity table and pulled out your favorite eyeshadow palette. You start applying the shades onto your eyelid. From the mirror, you can see Jimin run his hands through his hair. A sign of his frustration.

“Are they the reason why you didn’t text back often while I was gone?” Your brush paused mid air.

You turn in your seat to carefully study him.  

“You want the truth?”

He scoffs, “Well I don’t particularly want lies.”

You took a deep breath, “Yeah, they are.”

Jimin stops pacing. He stood there frozen from the words you just said.

“W-what?” You turn back to applying your make up before explaining yourself.

“Jimin, when you’re away it’s painful for me. I miss you like crazy and no matter how many times I wish for you to be by my side I know it can’t happen. The nights are long without your arms around me and the days are even longer without you waking me up. Jisung and his friends distract me from the void that you left behind. They take me out and let me have new experiences. Sure, I went to a lot of parties and even threw some myself. I know that I won’t ever be able to experience college life with you, so I didn’t want to hold myself back just because of that. You’re out there living your dream and I don’t want to not live mine either.”

You finish putting on your eyeliner and after checking that they’re both even, you got up and made your way to Jimin.

“You have to believe me when I tell you this though,” You wrap your arms around his neck and starts playing his hair, “There wasn’t a single day where I did not think about you.”

Jimin wraps his hands around your waist and pulls you closer. However, he was still avoiding your eyes.

“Do you have to be so vulgar when you’re around them?” You couldn’t help but laugh when he pouts.

“I’m sorry, but that side of me comes out whenever they’re around. I think you’ll just have to get used to it baby.”

He still wasn’t looking at your face.

He softly muttered, “What about that Daniel guy?”

You lay your head on his shoulders and let out a hum. “Hmm? What about him?”

You can hear the thumping music outside in the living room.

“Doesn’t he have a thing for you?” His hold around you tightened and you know that he’s jealous.

“Oh, he’s a classmate and a friend. Nothing more. You’re the one I’m here with now right?” He pulls you away slightly and he finally looks in your eyes. There was love and warmth in them and he can’t help but wonder how lucky he is.

“Yeah, you’re right. I was just jealous about what I heard back there.”

You lean in to give him a long and passionate kiss to comfort him. You start nipping at his bottom lip and he granted you access. Your warm tongues battle with each other before you let him take over. His hands roam over your body and you grab onto his belt loop to pull him closer. However, it was getting harder to breathe and you needed to get ready for the party. You pull away and both of you guys were gasping for air.

Jimin groans at the loss of contact.  

“As much as I would like to continue, the host of the party has to look good.” With a quick peck on his swollen lips you sat back down in front of the mirror.

Jimin stood behind you and starts licking and biting your neck. You bit your lip from moaning out loud.

“Jimin, stop.” Your hands went to his hair to pull him away from your neck. You don’t want a hickey to form because it would be embarrassing to go out there with one.

Jimin leans closer to your ear before whispering, “I’m  sure that the host would look more amazing thoroughly fucked.”

You met his eyes through the mirror before mocking him, “Look who’s being vulgar now.”

You open up one of your drawers and you scan the amount of lipsticks in it. You turn to Jimin and held his gaze.

“What color do you want to wrap around your dick later on tonight?”

Jimin made a strangled noise before wrapping a hand around your throat before gently squeezing it.

“Princess, you’re making it difficult for me to not bend you over this table right now.” You reach up to take one of his fingers and place it inside your mouth. You gently suck on it while swirling your tongue around.

“R-red. My dick would look good with red around it,” Jimin rasped out. You release his finger with a light bite and he lets you go. He watches you as you put on your favorite shade of red lipstick before popping your lips together.

“You’re such a fucking tease.”

You wink at him before making your way to the closet. You scan your clothes before pulling out a see through black crop top that exposes your shoulders and ripped shorts. You reach down to pull out thigh high black boots before setting the items on your bed. You can feel Jimin’s eyes on you the entire time.

“Are you really wearing that?”

“Yeah, why not? I’m sure you will enjoy the outfit on me.”

“I’m sure the guys will too,” Jimin grumbles out.

You roll your eyes. “Well they’re not the one I’m sucking off later, so you don’t have to worry.”

“Damn right they’re not.” After putting on the clothes with several failed attempts from Jimin to change your mind, you let your  hair down from your bun which fell in messy waves.

A knock on your bedroom door caught both of your attention.

“Are you planning to take twenty  years to get ready? People will be arriving at any second now.”

You open the door and was met by an annoyed Jisung. He studies you up and down before giving you a thumbs up.

“You don’t look like a creature anymore. Good job.” You punch his arm before moving past him and into the living room. It seems like the boys are getting along with your friends and you couldn’t help but feel relieved.

Taehyung and Yoongi were around Seongwoo and the speakers, messing around with the sound system. Jungkook and Guanlin has already started eating the snacks while they sway to the music. Hoseok and Jaehwan were in the kitchen trying out Jin’s finished dish, which Jaehwan complimented much to Jin’s joy. Namjoon was on the couch, just finished with helping Jisung put up the decorations.

When you entered, the boys look up and Guanlin lets out a whistle.

“Damn girl, you clean up nicely.”

Taehyung smiles at you, “You look lovely.”

The others nodded or muttered an agreement. Just then there is a knock on the door and Jisung goes to open it. The first guests come in and you turn to Jimin who is standing next to you.

“Are you ready?”

He looks down at  you and gave you a big smile.

“Let’s have fun tonight.”

 //

You have no idea where Jimin is.

He was by your side for the first hour of the party as you made small talk with the people from school. Jimin didn’t know how you could remember all of their names and faces. Everyone was starting to look the same to him after the seventh person. Every time he tried to get you alone, someone would come up and talk to you, completely ignoring him.  

Frustrated, he ended up excusing himself and ventured out to the rest of the party. After that, you haven’t seen him since. You were worried that he would end up mixing with the wrong crowd who might influence him into doing something stupid.

Jisung owes me big time.

As you make your way through the crowded living room, you spot Hoseok who is in the corner with Jaehwan. You don’t even want to think about what’s in their cup. Knowing Jaehwan, it’s probably something that can knock a person out with two sips.

“Hey guys, have you seen Jimin? I can’t find him anywhere.”

The two guys pause in their conversation to scan the area.

“Shit, you’re right. I don’t see him either ,” Jaehwan comments.

“Please tell me that’s not what I think it is,” Hoseok groans out.

You raise an eyebrow at what he just said and follow his line of vision.

Hoseok was looking at the people on the couch who seems to be snorting a white substance.

You turn back to him and nervously rub the back of your neck, “Okay, I won’t tell you.”

“Fuck, do you guys always party this hard?” Hoseok pinches the bridge of his nose.

Jaehwan chugs the rest of his drink down and wipes the excess liquid from his mouth. “What’s the matter? Don’t you guys party in your celebrity world too?”

“Well, yeah, but we tend to avoid parties like this for a reason. I’m just  waiting for the cops to show up at any moment and drag everyone in here to jail.”

“I doubt it,” Jaehwan scoffs, “most of them end up sleeping with the girls instead.”

You snap your fingers in their faces. “Guys, focus. My boyfriend’s still missing.”

Jaehwan gives you a pointed look, “Loosen up will you? He’s probably having fun right now with Guanlin. I saw them earlier and they seem to be getting along.”

Now that you think about, Jaehwan was right. Why are you trying to babysit Jimin when he’s capable of handling himself? You’re not his mother and you’re sure as hell going to enjoy the party that you were forced into throwing.

You snatch the drink from a person who was passing by and down it before Hoseok can protest. Your throat burns from the sudden intrusion, but your body quickly become familiar with the sensation.

Jaehwan glances over your shoulder and a silly grin etches on his face.

“HEY! Daniel!” He waves him over and a few moments later you feel someone’s presence behind you.

A smooth voice sounded close to your ear, “Hey Jaehwan, how’s it going?”

An arm reaches over you to connect with Jaehwan’s fist for a greeting. “Nothing much, your favorite’s person is here though.” Jaehwan glances towards you and back up to Daniel for a wink.

You look up just in time to see Daniel’s redden cheeks and he nervously cough at the statement.

Feeling sorry for the guy, you warmly smile at him, “It’s good to see you Daniel! I was starting to wonder if you even had a social life.”

“Just because I spend most of my time in the library doesn’t mean I can’t handle basic human interaction. Plus, I hear you throw the best parties than anyone on campus, so I came to see what the hype was about.”  He looks around the crowded and slightly trashed apartment before continuing, “Seems like they weren’t exaggerating.”

You let out a deep sigh, “It’s the aftermath that’s a pain in the ass. Jisung and the boys beg me for a party but they’re never anywhere to be found to help me clean.”

He turns back to you and starts shifting on his feet. “You know, if you need any help after this one, I’m available.”

Jaehwan lets out a low whistle and you see him waggle his eyebrows at you. Daniel got even more flustered if that was even possible.

He seems like a sweet guy and it is true that you’re usually the only one who’s left to clean up the mess. You could ask Jimin and the other boys to help, but the party was forced on to them unexpectedly and you didn’t want to burden them. Daniel’s offering his help and who are you to deny him?

“Yeah, of course! I would really appreciate it.” Daniel beams at you before looking at Hoseok. He reaches out a hand to shake and Hoseok receives it.

“Hey, my name’s Kang Daniel. Aren’t you J-Hope?”

Hoseok raises a hand to dismiss the question, “Nah, J-Hope is my stage name. I’m Hoseok when I’m not performing.”

“Oh, well I’m a fan. I really love watching you dance!”

Hoseok doesn’t know how to feel about the guy. From earlier, he knows that this happens to be the guy that has an interest in you. He doesn’t want to act like a douche, but you’re his friend’s girlfriend and it seems like Daniel is unaware that you have a boyfriend. He doesn’t want the guy to have false hope.

“Thank you, I appreciate it. I usually practice a lot with Jimin,” he pause and points to you, “her boyfriend.”

You see Daniel’s face fall and your chest become slightly heavy with guilt. You shoot Hoseok a glare and he looks apologetic. It wasn’t his place to say.

“Oh, I didn’t know you have a boyfriend.” His voice is laced with disappointment and you look away. Your only answer is a nod.

“I do, but I can’t seem to find him though.”

Daniel suddenly looks hesitant and he nervously rub the nape of his neck. This was his opportunity. Even though he knows you’re taken, he can’t help but want you in his arms for just a second.

“If it’s not too much to ask, do you think you can dance with me for a little bit?”

You look at his outstretched hand and you bite your bottom lip in contemplation. Making up your mind, you take Hoseok’s half empty cup and finishes it before putting your hand in Daniel’s. If you have stayed a little longer, you would have seen Hoseok frantically shaking his head at you.

Daniel squeezes your hand before dragging you through the sweaty and grinding bodies and onto the middle of floor. On the way, you ignored Namjoon’s questioning look who was chatting with a couple of people, and focused on the man in front of you.

 //

Jaehwan is grinning ear to ear as he watches you guys leave and Hoseok slightly hits him in the back of his head. “That’s my friend’s girlfriend you knob.”

“Hey! It’s not my fault! I just think she looks cuter with him than Jimin,” Jaehwan says before adding, “Full offense.”

Hoseok sighs, “I think I need another drink.”

 //

Daniel wraps his arms around your waist and you reach up to lock your hands behind his neck. You guys start moving your hips to the music and your gaze met his.    

“I’m sorry for what happened back there. I didn’t mean for Hoseok to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“No, it’s okay. I shouldn’t have assumed you were single,” he pauses before continuing, “it’s just, you never mentioned anything about having a boyfriend before.”

He was right. Before today, Jisung, who is your best friend, and the others had no clue you were seeing someone. With his job, you didn’t really have the freedom to fully express your love for him. You always have to restrict yourself from pouring out your feelings that overwhelm you. You’ve gotten so used to pretending that you don’t love him that you’re scared that one day it’ll come true, that you won’t love him anymore. The thought breaks you inside but what can you do? It’s not like you’ll ask him to give up his career for you. No, you didn’t have the heart to.

“Yeah, I guess I really haven’t. Sometimes I forget that I have one,” You said sadly while looking away.

He looks down at you with a sympathetic smile and  you feel a comforting pat on your lower back. “It must be hard to date a celebrity huh?”

You let out a deep sigh, “It really is.”

You notice the somber atmosphere and wanting to lighten the mood, you quickly pull away from Daniel’s hold before returning back with two cups in your hands. You hand one to Daniel and you guys clink cups before taking a huge gulp.

After a few moments, you can feel the alcohol effects taking control of your body. Your cheeks are flushed and your body became heated. You and Daniel continue bouncing to the heavy bass music with your drinks high while hyping one another up. At one point Daniel accidentally spilled some of the liquor on you, but you both just laughed it off and continued dancing stupidly. You felt good.  

You’re pretty sure the rest of the people at the party enjoyed the view because they all have their phones out and taking pictures or videos. Daniel and you must have made quite a scene. The quiet and book worm letting loose with a girl who was the opposite of him. It’ll be talk of the campus for the next week.

Throughout it all, there’s a pair of angry eyes boring holes to you guys. If you and Daniel weren’t so wasted you guys would have noticed it. Jimin stands in the middle of the kitchen next to Jin with a tensed body. Guanlin’s on his other side with an arm around a girl while chuckling at you and Daniel.

“They’re fucking crazy.” Guanlin sips from his cup.

Jimin, who already feels out of place at this party, decides to join in on the beer pong that was happening on the counter. The image of you and Daniel burns in his mind and all he wants to do is forget about it. You look so happy dancing with him and he wonders when was the last time he saw you that bright.

Seeing you smile with red painted lips takes him back to when you promised him a blowjob later and he feels himself getting hard. Jimin is starting to get even more annoyed at the fact that he couldn’t even control his dick at the mere sight of you. He fights to keep his hard-on under control and he quickly downs a cup of the hard alcohol to hopefully distract himself.

“Jimin, do you think that’s a good idea?” Jin asks with concern.

“Fuck off.” Jimin brushes Jin’s hand off of his shoulder before throwing a ball at the opposing team’s side.

Jin sighs as he lean back against the stove, keeping an eye on the younger man.

Seongwoo appears a few moments later to get a plate of food. He left Taehyung and Yoongi in charge of the music and he’s hoping that they won’t break any of the expensive equipment.

He comes up to Jin and nudges his head towards Jimin. With a mouth full of food, he asks, “What’s up with him?”

Guanlin just points to where you and Daniel are and Seongwoo lets out an ‘ahh.’

“He shouldn’t have to worry though,” Seongwoo adds.

“What do you mean?” Jin questions.

“She looks at Jimin like he’s her whole world. Even though their situation is not like any other couple, I can see the love she holds back for him in her eyes.”

“If he wasn’t so busy being too scared of losing her, he would have noticed what everyone else notices,” Jin softly replied while looking at Jimin, who was starting to stumble on his feet.

Seongwoo pats Jin’s wise shoulders. Before leaving, he advises Jin, “You should stop him soon, Jaehwan probably mixed a whole bunch of shit in the drinks and I don’t think Jimin can handle it for his first time.”

After saying bye to Seongwoo, Jin turns back to the beer pong game and  discovers that Jimin’s nowhere to be found. He cranes his neck to look into the sea of people to spot him, but it was no use.  

A single syllable left the mouth of the person people would least expect it from.

You tried your best to hide your emotions but the impact you had made in the atmosphere made it clear that there was something wrong. 

You were the typical bright and happy girl that was satisfied with living a life with simple things. The boys had never seen you angry or upset, you were just a person with overflowing positivity that they had never felt so uncomfortable in their life after seeing the new side of you.

It was like there was some sort of depressing tint in the air and at first, they tried to ignore it but it was like the tint was knocking through their hearts and opening the door of guilt and confusion. The boys had quietly examined you and noticed your smiles, your answers even your usually cheerful eyes seemed dead.

Jimin had never had to deal with your negative emotions that he felt so horrible as a boyfriend. 'Do I even deserve to be her boyfriend?' he mocked himself. 

It was like a tradition to watch a movie with the boys on a Friday night, but this Friday night it felt just too wrong to watch a movie with such pain in the air. Namjoon had wanted to ask you straight forwardly about what was wrong but Jimin gave him one glance that told him it was best not to do so since he knew how hard you were trying to hide it.

Jimin knew that you were hurting and that you weren't used to it either. He knew you did not know how to deal with it and so he knew that he and the boys had to tread carefully and let you know that they were there for you.

What could have been so bad that you could have such a different change of personality like this? He wanted your smile back. Not that dead smile but the sincere smile that brought flutters to his heart each time. 

You were cuddling beside him. His hands wrapped around your shoulders and your head was on his chest. Taehyung got up and flicked through the screen to find a movie. 

Taehyung turned off the lights and sat back down to press play and start the night. Through out the 1/3 of the movie you were so quiet that it had made even the comedic parts seem out of place.

At some point, you lost the focus of the movie and soon you lost your mind which you had tried so hard to strain closed but it ended up wondering where you did not want it to go. Your mother is dead.

Your

Mother

Is 

Dead

You could just not get it. It felt so unreal. You met her a few days ago. You will never meet her again. Wait, hang on. 

You. Will. Never. Meet. Her. Again.  

There was no way of avoiding the truth and no way of sugar coating it.

You. Would. Never. Meet. Your. Mother. Again.

Your beloved mother could never be seen alive again. Why? Why you!? Why her? You could feel the anger through your veins and you were about to explode in anger but instead, you let out a loud heartbreaking sob.

You sucked a deep breath in and the tears started overflowing. No one was prepared and no one was ready, not even you. You felt the blood pumping in such a taunting and scary manner that you swore it was probably the reason you let out such tears.

Jungkook turned on the lights but before he switched the light on, Jimin had wrapped you and you were leaning on his shoulder. Jimin was absolutely heartbroken by the state you were in that he started crying too. He felt your heart pumping through your chest like a drum. He felt the whimpers in some moments of your mental break down.

"What do I do!?"

You let out with no hopes for an answer.

"Nothing, I can't do anything!"

You answered yourself in acceptance. You gripped hard on his shirt, took a deep breath and said

"Jimin. My mother is dead"

The boys were absolutely concerned and terrified, especially Jimin. He hugged you tighter.

"My mother is dead"

You said in such a soft voice and with the tone of defeat and hurt

"Dead"

You said again making Jimins heart clench harder and harder.

"Dead"

You kept repeating the word 'dead' as if you were convincing yourself that it was not true. That there was a chance she was alive.

"Dead"

You breathed out

"Alive"

Jimin let out and you stopped your repetition to listen closely.

"You are alive and breathing and thank god for that. I am so sorry I can't comfort you properly but shit y/n! Now that I absolutely love you and know that I and the boys are here for you regardless of the circumstances"

He cried out through his tears and later you could feel the rest of the boys all gathering up to give you a group hug. You felt one of them crying on your back while your swollen eyes had looked up at the ceiling as if you were sending a sign that you were fine to your mother.

1 year

You and Jimin were gleefully walking to a certain place while holding hands. The rest of the bangtan boys were behind you and each of you were holding a flower.

They kept their word. They never let you deal with a situation alone and tried every way to distract you from your pain. Your boyfriend slept beside you each night and had said calming sweet words while caressing your back.

Every single one of them did their best to make you back to normal. They made a song, They made you food they did everything and to them, it felt like it was no burden since your sincere smile had lit up their days.

Jimin helped you with the funeral and on the day many tears were shed but now you guys were here. Visiting your mothers grave. 

You all respectfully put the flowers down softly. A lot has happened in this one year. You have returned to normal and had not let your tears fall again after the funeral but just this once tears started to fill up.

"I miss you and I want you back but know that I am happy and well"

When your dad cheats on your mum but Jimin comforts you

BTS MAKNAE LINE TEXT: When they call you clingy so you put a distance but then they regret it

Jungkook / Taehyung / Jimin

Hello Guys! Newbie Admin Niki here! This is my first official scenario for this blog. I am very excited and I hope you guys like it. Please don’t hesitate to tell me what you think!

Genre: Assistant AU

Pairing: Reader/Jimin

Length: 3,066 words

Warning: Tiny bit of swearing

Prompt: Here

He sat still on the sofa, his head lowered, raven bangs resting on his moist eyes and following on his pale face. Noticing you were standing there, worried about his silence and depressing posture, he said,

“It’s tiring Y/N.”

You went out to buy some groceries in the store to pack in the house and because you used out all of the stock ingredients and the refrigerator is literally empty. Locking the door, you walked towards your car but feeling worried you didn’t lock the door properly so you double checked then drove to the supermarket.

Getting the fruits, vegetables and specific ingredients for cooking, you went to the snack lane because you and Jimin loved eating snacks together so you bought a handful for when he comes home after his tour (1 week left). Sighing after how long you didn’t see him and how much you missed him, you immediately motivated yourself and kept the positivity that you’re going to see him in just a few days.

Arriving at home, finally, you somehow got all the groceries to fit in your hands and after struggling to unlock the door, you entered the house, placing the bags on the tiled counter. When you turned around to pack the stocks in the fridge, you couldn’t believe your eyes.

“Jimin?” you gaped at the sight before you. But you realized, from just one look, he wasn’t himself. He just sat there as if he was drained of his energy, unmotivated, uninspired and still. Saddened by his appearance, you walked up to him slowly. 

“It’s tiring, Y/N.” he spoke up, his voice terribly fragile as you felt a pang in your heart.

“What do you mean?” you asked, worried more than ever. Who couldn’t be worried at their boyfriend who’s usually a ball of sunshine that turned into this ball of darkness?

“Tired of everything. Emotionally and physically.” he sighed as he ruffled his hair looking stressed. You rested you hands on his that was slightly trembling and you looked at him, urging him to continue. He took a deep breath as he continued,

“Does A.R.M.Y still love me?” the question had you more and more confused. His plump lips, swollen because of the crying for centuries, opened slightly to answer his own question.

“Since I lost my abs, I feel like I lost a lot of fans. Two things got lost, huh? I shouldn’t have eaten so much and rest after, I should’ve worked harder to keep the abs. They all loved it when I performed on stage, I wanted to show them I accomplished a goal for them but because I got careless and over ate several times, I..” he paused as if to catch his breath from rambling. Listening carefully to him, you caressed his back to comfort him as you pulled his head to rest on your shoulders, still caressing his back.

“I promised them at the start of this year I would get fat and start taking care of my health and don’t expect anything but it stills feel like I lost out..”

“Tell me Y/N, do they still love me?” with the cracking of his breaking voice, he broke down once again. You wiped his tears as you turned him to face you, understanding his feelings all too well but he definitely got it all wrong.

“Jimin, are you stupid?” you said bluntly as his eyes opened in surprised.

“Why would the fans wouldn’t love you anymore if you lost your abs? Lost it or not, you’re still Park Jimin! A.R.M.Y wouldn’t like Jimin just because of his body but because of his cheerful, kind and loving personality, his amazing yet beautiful voice and his caring for his family, the boys, me and most of all his fans.”

“Of course they love you! Get that into your head and let it stay there. Why do they still come to concerts, why do they still attend fan meets and why do they still listen to your music? They worry about your health, that’s why you have to eat more and don’t you dare go on diets or eat less than usual, you don’t want to be fainting in one of the concerts. They just want you, they don’t need the abs so stop trying so hard to get them back, because you’re still the little ChimChim without them.” you said these words, smiling at him.

You got up and searched for your phone in your handbag, rummaging all the items, you got your phone and opened up twitter and Jimin’s latest tweet about his losing his abs. You opened up the comments and showed Jimin as he scanned them:

“Where did ChimChim go?”

“We don’t care about your abs! We care about you and your health!”

“Jimin-oppa you’re the same person without abs.”

“We love you for who you are!”

“A.R.M.Y  needs happy Jimin again!”

“See?” you stated. Jimin just stared at the phone, tears welling up in his eyes, astonished by the comments of A.R.M.Y, a smile crept up on his face. You embraced him giving him all the love he needs right now. You felt his warmth and gave a sigh of relief.

“Thank you.” he responded, staring at your moist E/C eyes and smiling as bright as the moon.

“Jimin, your family loves you, the boys love you, I love you and most of all, A.R.M.Y loves you, for you.” you said in a clear voice, releasing the anxiety within him, like a butterfly.

“I love everyone who loves me.” he cheekily grinned and you playfully slapped him.

One thing you understood about Jimin today was that even he could get anxious and insecure at times. He was suffering alone about this issue and he hid it till his breaking point. “The one who makes others happy suffer the most.” At the end of the day, he opened up to you, no one is perfect because we’re all humans.

“Oh!” you suddenly realized something odd, which made him jump in surprise.

“Aren’t you supposed to be on a tour? Why are you home so early?” you asked, curious about his tour which he’s supposed to be on.

He laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head, “About that..” as he ran off to the bedroom.

This time he was gonna get a real smack in the head!