- HL Fic Library's Angst Fic Rec -
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š„ This Multiplicity of Powers by @helloamhere {E, 149k}
Maybe in another universe he isnāt different. Maybe he hadnāt been given an impossible choice. Maybe he wouldnāt have lost everything and broken everything and then fallen impossibly, irrevocably in love with the first next thing that was kind. Maybe in that universe he doesnāt feel like heās never breathing, always pretending, teaching the kids even though they all have to learn alone, trying hard not to read the headlines, and so afraid, every day, that he wonāt be a good enough teammate to the superhero he canāt live without. He knows that love isnāt supposed to feel this way, slid secret under your skin like a surgical razor, an invisible war held close over the tender vein that keeps you alive. On the other hand, Louis wonders, had he ever known how to do it any other way?
Maybe thereās a universe where he doesnāt have to keep all his secrets on the inside.
But this isnāt that universe.
š„ Own the Scars by @crinkle-eyed-boo {E, 144k}
āBut I donāt belong here,ā Louis insists.
āWhy do you say that?ā James asks.
āThese people are all drug addicts and alcoholics,ā Louis shrugs.
Something sparks in Jamesā eyes.
āAnd youāre not?ā
Louis has never felt like he was good enough: for his stepdad, for his life-long best friend, for the life he's supposed to want. After an accident that nearly costs him his life, Louis' parents send him to rehab where heās forced to face his demons. On the long and difficult road to recovery, Louis must confront the truths heās been avoiding about his future, his relationships, and his sense of self-worth. Because before he can love anyone else, heās got to learn how to love himself first.
š„ Empty Skies by green_feelings / @greenfeelings {E, 134k}
For three years, Harry has been running from his past. Now, he is moving to London and pledges to fulfil his only dream -- making it big in the music industry. Not everyone has a place, though, and the competition is tough. As is his past catching up on him.
Louis is part of the biggest boy band of the world, and getting there had meant a lot of hard work, as well as sacrificing parts of his heart and soul. He's still happy. Maybe not as happy as he could be, but who is he to complain?
Featuring Perrie as Harry's adorable flatmate, Niall as his manager, and Liam and Zayn as Louis' bandmates.
š„ burn to ash by bethaboo / @bethaboolou {E, 116k}
Harry is sitting there, so fucking casual, and Louis realizes in a split second he was not ready. When Harry walked out in Detroit and never looked back, he was a boy verging on a man, still only twenty years old, but there's a man in his place now. Hard and resolute, yes, but still, for the first time in a long time, Louis can kind of see the old Harry in him. The soft, directness of his gaze, the hesitant smile he gives to Lou, the way he wrings his ridiculously large hands in his lap.
He's a little bit the eager sixteen year old puppy dog again, his innocence and sweetness resurrected miraculously, and Louis freezes in place. He was prepared to face the asshole Harry. He was prepared to meet a whole new Harry.
Louis is not prepared to meet one of the old incarnations of Harry, and it absolutely tears him up.
Or the fic where Harry spirals out of control, the band breaks up, and then he shows back up, five years later.
š„ The Last Something That Meant Anything by jaded25 {M, 95k}
"You know my heart - so tell me honestly, did you ever really want this?
So Iāll sing this song for every word that comes out wrong
But Iāll be okay ā is that what you want me to say?"
In the end, it's neither the fame or the pressure, nor Management or the constant hiding and denying that tears them apart. Or maybe it's a sum of all and so much more on top.
In the end, it's Harry.
When Harry leaves the band - leaves Louis - to pursue his dreams of a solo career, he breaks much more than just One Direction.
It's a gamble and a new start for each of the boys but while Harry walked away smiling, finally having got everything he apparently dreamt of, Louis is left to pick the pieces up.
Some hearts don't break even, some are simply shattered. So can you really learn to un-love someone?
š„ Emperor's New Clothes by sunsetmog / @magicalrocketships {E, 92k}
The fact that Louisās most precious belonging was a cat with a face like thunder and an uncanny ability to cover every single inch of Louisās clothing with cat hair was something that Louis chose not to think about too much.
or: Harryās a pop star and Louis isnāt, and thereās a non-disclosure agreement where there used to be a relationship.
š„ Feels Like Coming Home by phdmama / @phd-mama {E, 60k}
The last thing Harry Styles expects when he's hanging out at the Someday Cafe in Somerville one rainy October day is for his ex, Louis Tomlinson to walk through the door, but that's exactly what happens. After a spectacularly ugly break-up three years prior, Harry hasn't heard one word from Louis, and he's moved on. Gotten over him. But having Louis back in his life, not to mention working at the restaurant where he's a chef, isn't easy, and the feelings that Harry thought he'd left turn out to be not so easily forgotten.
This is a story about love and the power of forgiveness, and how the hard choices we make define us, and change our lives.
š„ Far Away. by dimpled_halo / @comebackassholes {M, 57k}
Harry swallows hard, clearing his throat. āHi Lou,ā he says, looking at Louis reluctantly. Heās even more gorgeous than he remembers, so much, he feels uneasy looking directly at him, heās so beautiful.
Louis looks at Harry, does a quick once-over and smiles, eyes so bright and blueājust how Harry remembers. āHarold!ā He gets up out of his seat and embraces him into a warm hug. Itās a friendly platonic hug; one that ends way too soon. Harry wishes it would last longer so that he can breathe Louis in and memorize his new but somehow still familiar scent. It instantly leaves his body aching for more.
Harry returns to London after five years. Stuck in the past with "what ifs" and "what might have beens", he sees that his friends and ex (and possible love of his life) Louis have all moved on with their lives while he finds himself questioning his own life choices, past and present.
š„ where the lights are beautiful (series) by twoshipsdrifting / @polkadotlou {M, 49k}
Harry wasnāt wrong about that, not in a general sense. Lots of omegas did seek out rich alphas and betas, hoping or planning to go into heat at the right time. Plenty of omegas saw this as their duty, especially if their families werenāt well off.
Worse, Louis couldnāt honestly say heād never thought about it.
If that had been his life, his goal, Louis would feel pretty good about himself now.
As it isā¦Louis feels like shit.
Or the accidental bonding a/b/o fic.
š„ make this feel like home by @soldouthaz {E, 43k}
The house on West 28th Street in London is twice the size of Louis', more expensive than the price of all of his house and car payments combined, and is falling apart at the seams.
š„ we should open up (before it's all too much) by @disgruntledkittenface {M, 43k}
āIām notāā Harry breaks off, his voice strangled as he clutches his phone in his hand. He takes a breath and looks up, trying to keep the tears threatening to spill over at bay. āLouis, Iām not very good company these days. Iāā
āHarry,ā Louis interrupts, his raspy voice soft and soothing. āI get it. Sometimes itās just easier to be alone, yeah?ā
Harry nods, blinking back the last of his tears.
āBut it can get lonely,ā Louis states. Harry nods again even though it wasnāt a question, finally looking back at him. āSo why donāt we try being alone, together?ā
Struggling with grieving and depression since his dad died, Harry has never felt so alone. Itās too much to cope with on his own, but he feels like a burden when he tries to open up with people.
š„ Of Love and Blood and Hate by orphan_account {E, 42k}
āYou auditioned without me,ā Louis says, his voice disbelieving. āHow the fuck can you stand there and hurl all this shit at me when you literally left me behind to go audition for the show weād been dreaming of being on together?"
āWhat was I supposed to do, Louis? You refused to audition with me unless we were honest about being a couple. I knew we never would have made it past the first auditions. You left me no other choice; it was either audition alone or not audition at all."
Louis feels his own eyes start to fill with tears. āYou chose a fucking reality show over our relationship. If you still donāt see that you made the wrong choice than I donāt think thereās any reason for me to waste another second here.ā
A Famous/Non-Famous turned Famous/Famous AU where Harry makes the biggest mistake of his life and Louisā left to pick up the pieces.
š„ Looking Through You by @allwaswell16 {E, 41k}
Just as Louis and Liam were starting out in the music industry, writing and producing for up and coming artists, a fateful meeting with new pop singer Harry Styles changes everything. Four years later, just as Harry is set to embark on his next world tour, a drunken confession causes a rift between once inseparable friends. As Harry tries to make sense of his feelings for Louis, he begins writing his next album to express them as it may be the only way to break through the walls that Louis has built between them.
š„ like a timebomb ticking by @infinitelymint {M, 31k}
Louis loses everything. Harry's still there.
š„ Compass to my Soul by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup {T, 31k}
Harry Styles, alpha, is 1/4 of the perfect pack, and 1/5 of world famous boy band One Direction. He spends his time touring the world with his best friends and family.
Louis Tomlinson, omega, is 1/5 of world famous boy band One Direction. He spends his time hoping his bandmates donāt notice him.
š„ some things fade (some never do) by we_are_the_same / @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed {T, 25k}
Matching tattoos. Heād never thought heād be the type for tattoos to begin with, let alone matching or magical ones, but once Harry had put the idea in his mind it had never quite managed to disappear. And it had made sense. With their relationship a long distance one, this was simply another way of feeling close to one another. Of knowing where the other was, how they felt. It had made so much sense.
Three years after their break up, Harry calls.
š„ With These Arms Folded by @taggiecb {NR, 21k}
Harry Styles is living a peaceful existence in California as a very successful song writer. He has his lake house, and his cat, and his small town existence. That is until he receives a curious email one sunny summer morning, and his life almost immediately gets turned upside down buy a force that's bigger than any storm he's seen outside his window.
š„ You're A Universe by Jiksa / @jiksax {E, 15k}
Harry doesnāt ever mean to hurt him; Louis doesnāt know how to tell him that itās the only thing he ever does anymore.
Or, Louisās a stay-at-home dad in London and Harryās a business expat in Qatar. Louis doesnāt know how much longer their marriage can survive the distance.
š„ Don't You Remember? by @reminiscingintherain {M, 12k}
Harry slammed the door behind him and immediately pressed his face into his hands, before dropping them back to his sides and staring blankly at the wall.
š„ Bot (series) by tomlinsunshine / @tornlinsunshine {NR, 11k}
Zayn builds robots; Harry is a big fan of his latest model. The date is September fifteenth. Itās a Friday, itās nineteen degrees outside, and Harry Styles has just made the biggest mistake of his life.
