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You're supposed to leave to the Navy today. I'm so proud of you for making it this far and I wish you the best of luck. I know I've been dodging you and I rejected your semi marriage proposal but it's because I don't think you've fully changed and I want you to grow and be a better person. Just focus on yourself. I love you so much baby girl. More than any words can ever say. I'm writing this here because I would feel foolish telling you this now. You've been trying to get back with me but I know deep down we aren't ready. I hate supporting from afar though, I always said I would write you everyday and I'll never leave your side but life changes and people change, we changed but I love you. I hope you get through this strong.
It hurts to look at your calls come in and not pick them up
It hurts seeing text msgs saying you miss me and not replying back
It hurts having new stuff happens to me or just random things and not being able to tell you
It hurts to hear songs that only make me think of you and wanting to go back to those moments.
You can't keep thinking you run everything. I want you to miss me and realize the horrible things you say and do.
So i'll keep ignoring you, even if it means crying myself to sleep every night
I've tried and tried to make this process go quicker, for you to finally grow up but these past months made me realize i can't do anything to rush this process.
Everything has to run its course by its own time.
You know what hurts the most? not feeling appreciated and loved for like you know you should. Mentally being pushed up against the wall by my throat, grasping for air. Wishing and hoping things went different with us.
I CAN'T. IT. ALL. HURTS.
Last night
When he kissed me, I shut my eyes so tight that i seen starts. pretending they were your lips; thinking these don’t even resemble. How smoothly yours just slide off of mine
When he rubbed my legs and squeezed my thighs, I won’t lie…it felt good but my vision flashed between how your hands squeeze my thighs roughly and what was actually there.
And on the ride home when he says he likes me so much and always looks forward to see me, I thought about how much I love you and how your being makes my whole world shine.
You're probably asleep but I really miss you and I love you very much. Starting from yesterday, I'm trying something new with myself and I think we should start treating each other differently too. We should treat each other with love and not anger like we have been for these past months. I know you haven't forgave me but as much as it hurts I'm trying to forgive you and let go of all the negative things that's happened with us. Im always jealous but I'm just trying to make a better me and eventually a better us. I cant do it alone though. You may think all of this is bullshit but I don't at all and I'll appreciate it if you wouldn't just shrug what I said off. I'm going to sleep, I hope you have a good nights sleep.
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That beautiful smile I love so much and your arms spread wide open waiting for me to run into that hug. That long embrace.......melted my heart into gooey honey.
How dare you
What justifies you throwing stuff in my face. Saying "You aren't going anywhere, what don't you get. I have your heart" you are on the thinnest ice you have ever been with me. What you said was true but why would you want to take advantage of my love and throw it in my face. There has to be something not screwed on tight in your brain. I have never wished any bad upon you, only the best and the happiest even if it's not with me, that's all i wanted for you. Its sickening that you wouldn't do it for me, that you wont fight for me, all because the one before me broke you beyond repair.
From now on though, I hope everything you have ever done to me, haunts you. I hope every night when you can't sleep, i'm on your mind and i torture your soul. I hope karma eat you alive with no remorse. I need you to hurt, just as much as you have hurt me. I want you to drop down on your knees crying and can't gasp for air, just like I've done. I want you to burn with hate for yourself. Just for a moment. so you can understand.
Save the bullshit that "If you love someone you wont hurt them" although i still believe that saying; people need to learn their lessons and they wont learn it until it smacks them in the face. I want all that stuff to happen to you because i want you to grow, learn and do better.
I love you with everything i have, ever given, ever felt. I thought I had my heart broken before but nothing beats what I've been feeling for he past 8 months. Thinking back on it, that's a long time to hurt. We've been through too much stormy weather, where's our clear skies coming?
You'll mourn forever and you have to live with the fact you did me wrong, forever.
Fumble|Trey Songz
[Verse] We were so dumb in love Couldn't get enough, no But I could've loved you so much better And I can't believe you never walked out And it's not your fault [Chorus] That I fumbled your heart Should've let go of my past for you You did everything I asked of you Drived across the country if I asked you to But I'm just bad for you I fumbled your heart I'm bad news, yeah I'm just bad for you I'm bad news, I fumbled your heart [Verse] Girl you used to feel so bound in my arms I wish we could touch some more I'm sitting, working on this letter The first line I write, I was wrong So wrong, so wrong, so wrong, so wrong And it's not your fault So wrong, so wrong, so wrong [Chorus] That I fumbled your heart Should've let go of my past for you You did everything I asked of you Drived across the country if I asked you to But I'm just bad for you I fumbled your heart I'm bad news, yeah I'm just bad for you I'm bad news, I fumbled your heart [Bridge] It's all or nothing Give you my all or nothing Want all of you or nothing I'm sorry that I messed up girl I really love you, really really love you Now that I know I love you I'll never love another girl And it's not your fault [Chorus] That I fumbled your heart Should've let go of my past for you I should've let go You did everything I asked of you Drived across the country if I asked you to Whatever I asked you to, I'm just bad for you I fumbled your heart She said I ain't gonna change Ever since the day we met And her mama said the same I dropped the ball I'm so ashamed I'm bad news, real bad news, I fumbled your heart
