#jfictitional

I am BACK!!

I have had some very frustrating and odd mental barriers these last several years.

One of those is that my dad died in 2020. My family has always spent a lot of time with each other, so it’s been an incredibly difficult adjustment period.

It also didn’t help that I began grieving years before his passing. I’ve basically been in a tornado of suffering since 2016. There have been easier patches here and there, but the barriers are slow to come down. So, that’s a work in progress.

I’m really trying to start living my life again. Very few people have made the effort to reach out to me after I didn’t respond to them through my grief. I can’t blame them.

But that’s why I’d like to give a MASSIVE shout-out to @jfictitional for regularly tagging me in posts meant to cheer me up and let me know that I was being thought about.

I cannot understate how thoughtful that has been. It really means a lot to me. So, THANK YOU, jfictitional, for believing in me and thinking about me when no one has. I’m literally crying as I write this.

But that’s enough about my feelings for the moment.

Something else that slowed down my ability to post is that I had my fingers in too many pies. (Is that a phrase? I sure hope so.)

One exciting development is that I got a job working with a small publisher. It’s basically contract work, so it allows me time to do my own writing and to spend time with my loved ones. In addition, I’m resuming doing freelance editing because I finally have the willpower to do so.

Regardless of my outside work, I fell into a trap many other bloggers have: the second I decided to try making a book of my best content, I fell off the face of the planet (I’m looking at you, @textfromdog).

Thus, I need to get back to my roots. It needs to be fun again. While I don’t know what exactly this will entail for all of you, I am just looking forward to this being something for fun that doesn’t have any pressure attached to it.

Well, I started this blog roughly a million years ago. If you’re still around, THANK YOU!!!!! You are amazing, and I salute you.

So, welcome back to “Why Aren’t You Writing?” Thanks for reading, and I love you so much. You are so valuable and awesome and loved.

thanks for the ask!! :D pulling out the random number generator again with results of............. Tris and Jacob, a fun pair for these questions

🎭 - Does your OC show different sides of themselves to different people?

nah, Tris doesn't, he's just the same Tris in any scenario I think :P I think he does vaguely understand why you might have different "faces" you wear depending on what sort of context you're in, like whether it's friends or workmates or strangers, but it's not something he can easily replicate himself and he's quite uncomfy with the idea of feeling ingenuine (ungenuine? not genuine?) n like

well, he kind of already struggles enough in social scenarios in trying to appear open and engaging, knowing what facial expressions to use or how to speak, I think the idea of trying to introduce different "personas" is something that would be difficult for him to grasp

Jacob though, yeah, he's got loads of different personas lmao. a side effect of being a chronic people pleaser is he's always trying to act in whatever way he thinks others will respond best to, n he's very good at mirroring others and tweaking his personality to fit whatever crowd he's in

it can be super helpful! it means he's very adaptable and also, I think a degree of being able to change the way you act from context to context is quite healthy and expected in life. I think the fact that Jacob hasn't got a real stable sense of identity means he can take it to the extreme though, he often subconsciously adopts the personality traits of those around him, n sometimes lands in uncomfortable situations or contexts where he's sacrificing his own needs or values because he's trying to fit in and be liked

also fun fact Jacob Greer + mirrors is just a Whole Thing in ATDAO

but yes I think for this question Jacob and Tris are on opposite ends of the scale, probably

🌋 - What’s your OCs temper like? Are they a slow boil, or an instant explosion?

ah, both of them are extremely slow boils, if you could even call it a boil at all :P lukewarm at best, I think

the idea of expressing A Single Negative Emotion is completely and totally horrifying to both of them, they never had any safe space to work through these feelings or express them, basically in order to survive their Nightmare House they had to internalise a LOT and just remain completely passive and accommodating at all times

n I think both of their default responses to experiencing A Single Negative Emotion Towards Someone Else is “ah, I’m sure this is actually my fault somehow”

but yeah one thing for Tris is that he doesn't express a lot of outward emotion, just like, in general? so changes in facial expression n voice n body language, these don’t come naturally to him at all, regardless of whether he’s happy or upset, which leads a lot of people to assume he’s fairly emotionally uninvolved in life or doesn’t have feelings

so like. from an outside perspective? Tris has nothing going on

most of the people who are close to him (with some notable exceptions) know this is not accurate, and will take his word for it when he describes his emotional state regardless of whether it “matches” his outward expression, but anger is of Particular Difficulty for him to the point where at one stage Noa theorises that he’s completely incapable of feeling it ‘cause he just...................... Will Not talk about it under any circumstances. n like

oh, he’s got some anger for sure, but I don’t think he even recognises it as Anger, and he’s so used to shutting it down that it hardly ever occurs to him that he’s allowed to feel it or that he might be feeling it. like I said in a previous answer, he usually has to take some form of cue from someone else that he's supposed to be angry about things, it’s really not on his radar

and Jacob is just................................. look, his default setting is trying to appease other people and make them like him, I don’t want to use the word “doormat” but like................ hm. he’s reeaaaally not good at Taking Up Emotional Real Estate and would rather die than express any negative feeling whatsoever

like the idea of sharing his feelings with another human person and ~burdening~ them with his woeful thoughts is terrifying enough as it is, and similar to Tris, he doesn’t really feel like he’s “allowed” to take up that sort of space or ask for anyone’s time like that........ and the idea of being visibly angry AT another human person? the idea that he can say to someone that he’s upset with them because they overstepped a boundary or they hurt him or whatever??? I think he would fucking die on the spot

so no, I think for both of them anger takes a very very very very very long time to build, and it hardly ever Actually Escapes

Hi, y’all. J.fictitional tagged me to answer the following questions, so here we go:

1) What do you consider your most consistent or fruitful source of inspiration?

Life.

2) Have you ever been surprised by the direction a work in progress took?

Not substantially. I usually start with some idea of where I want to go. I’m scared that I’d never get to the end otherwise.

3) What is your oldest story idea you have yet to act upon?

A TV show idea I’ve outlined, but have not written in proper format.

4) Do you try to hold yourself to a particular goal when writing (such as x number of words per day, or hitting a particular plot point before stopping)?

I don’t have set goals unless there’s a deadline. Then I hammer away every available minute until it’s done.

5) How do you read? (For example, I read the words aloud in my head, and give each character a voice, and cast all the parts, and-)

It depends on what I’m reading. When editing, I often get my computer to read.

6) If you were to collaborate with someone on a project, who would your first choice be?

Wow, hard to pick, if you could get anyone.   

7) What is your process for coming up with character names? 

Often I just have a name in my head. If I’m stuck. I use a baby name book.

8) When you’re writing is frustrating you, what do you do to blow off steam?

My writing is my hobby, so I covet the minutes during which I’m privileged to do it. However, I also like to spend time with family and friends, read, swim...

9) With so many other things to do in life, why write?

I enjoy it. From start to finish.

10) When you finish a story, who is the first person you’d want to show it to?

My critique partners.

Then Acebelle tagged me with these questions:

1) Do you ever hand write your stories? Why or why not?

I often handwrite story ideas, but when it comes to the nitty gritty the computer wins out. The invention of word processing was revolutionary.

2) What age group do you write for?

Adult, but I have ideas for picture books.

3) Do you write better with or without deadlines? 

I hesitate to say better, but I’m more prolific with a deadline.

4) What do you struggle most with as a writer? 

Mild processing, atypical brain issues. But this also gifts me an atypical–and I’m told, interesting–perspective. For every cloud, there’s a silver lining.

5) Do you make soundtracks for each story?

No. But I do have one of those brains where if you say three words in a set of lyrics, the song will automatically roll in my head.

6) What is your favorite character you’ve written?

Two were particularly fun to write: Caleb Noh and Shay Jefferson, not that this will mean anything to anyone but my betas and critique partners as of this moment, September 2017.

7) What things (scenes/topics/character types) are you most comfortable writing?

Anything I’m thoroughly familiar with through life experience.

8) Unpopular writing thoughts/opinions?

I’m not sure I understand this question. As far as what I’ve written, I’ve had critics take issue with one main character because she is financially well off but still unhappy.

9) Do you prefer first or third person?

Third

10) Who do you write for?

Me, first. If I don’t find it interesting and entertaining, I don’t see how anyone else will.

I invite any writer who follows me to answer the following:

1. Where are you on your journey as a writer? Beginning, completed your first book, published for the first or fifth time?

2.  What resources have you used on your journey so far? Education, research, tools, people, innate skills, marketing?

3. What resource do you recommend to all your writer friends?

4.  Where have you struggled or still struggle in getting where you want to go with your writing?

5. What has been the most important thing you’ve learned?

To: stmartinspress, dkwliteraryagency, rosettabooks, newleafliterary or any other publishing house or literary agency that might run up on this post.

1. Could you favor the writerblr community with any advice on getting published or perpetuating an established writing career?

2. Is there anything about today’s writing climate or trends that writers should know more about?

hi!! I assume you are also after a weird first line lyric poem? yes? maybe? you’re getting one regardless

I had watched you taking in the spring

I’m gone, I’m gone

I broke free on a Saturday morning

It’s not the cowboys that are missing anymore

Build yourself an empty home

featuring “spring” by two door cinema club, “watertight” by we have band, “this year” by the mountain goats, “good guys” by mika and “the world” by the family crest

(truly, truly, it’s been a super weird week, I’m simultaneously super exhausted and super wired up, like, I’ve had a random ass spike of paranoia and driving home the other day was a solid 83% convinced the entire world was a simulation and I’m still not entirely convinced otherwise? but it’s kinda just whatevs)

(but also I had my first day back at work today so it’ll be nice to settle back into a routine! also I tried making a vaguely ambitious new recipe this week or possibly last week honestly I can’t remember and it turned out really well and I’m super psyched about it!)

shara knew literally from the first moment she’s introduced, like chapter 2 she already Knows