#jetblacknova

The wonderful world of Pokèmon! Inhabited by hundreds of different species, trainers capture, raise, and battle with their Pokèmon to become the Pokèmon Champion! But the road to success is paved with challenges. Many times young trainers may ally themselves with mentors who will teach them and help them grow alongside their Pokèmon. Today we zoom in on a pair that’s a little . . . less-than cooperative.

“I’m telling you I don’t need help you fuck!” A fiery, bespectacled boy shouts. “Besides, you ain’t even that good!”

“Please watch your language Michael. It’s unbecoming of a Pokèmon trainer, much less one aiming for champion of Kanto.” A tall, gaunt man replies, keeping an ever-so calm and collected air about him.

“Oh pardon me, Ryan, for such unbecoming language.” Michael retorted, “I am so fucking sorry you jackass. Fight me.”

Ryan chortles, shaking his head. “I’m only saying you should be more polite. Regardless, we are approaching Pewter City, home of the rough and tumble rock specialist, Jeremy Dooley. I don’t believe your team is quite up to snuff, but fortunately there’s Mankey in the tall grass between Viridian Forest and Pewter Gym, which will provide a type advantage.” “Or I just march in there and kick his ass with my Charmander.” Michael replies. “And if he doesn’t work I have my Pidgey and Rattata!” “All Pokèmon weak to rock or resisted by rock. You really should play to the types. A good team balance is necessary for a -” “Yeah yeah yeah, a good balance is necessary to succeed as Champion. Fuck you let’s go fight Jeremy.”

Ryan lets out a brief sigh. “I just want you to remember I did warn you.”

The pair stops by a Pokèmon Center so Michael can heal his Pokèmon. As he waits at a table, he sees Ryan go to the nearby cafè for a quick meal. Sitting down, he places a sandwich and soda in front of Michael. “So what’s your strategy? I assume it isn’t just try to set his Pokèmon on fire with Ember.” Ryan says, before diving into his sandwich.

“I mean, yeah, that’s the plan. Just fuckin . . . use Ember.” Michael replies, eating the fries off of Ryan’s plate. “It’s worked every fight before.” “You keep saying that but you spent the past three days fighting bug types, which are weak to fire and flying type attacks, Michael. You really should read that book I gave you. It has all sorts of information about types and their various strengths and weaknesses.”

Michael stares at Ryan as he continues to devour his meal. He opts to ignore Ryan’s remark and gets up to go collect his Pokèmon. “Dude give it up. I’m going to win with my Charmander and that’s that.”

The duo walks to the Pewter City Gym, Michael screaming at Ryan to shut up the entire way. Soon they approach the gym and enter. The interior is dark, the light from the door illuminating a wooden pathway.

“Hello? Anybody here? I’m looking for Jeremy?” Michael says as he enters. Immediately upon closing the door, a Voltorb lights up the room next to him. Michael glances at the Voltorb, puzzled. “What the hell is this?” He asks, gesturing rudely at the Voltorb.

“I suspect he is your gym guide Michael. Perhaps ask him nicely to turn the lights on.” Ryan says, gesturing politely at the Voltorb.

Michael whines at Ryan before turning back to the Voltorb. “Can you please turn the lights on so I can challenge this gym?” The Voltorb spins in place, before letting out an electric shock, activating the lights, which illuminated the path leading to a bald man sitting at the end of the path. He got up, and stared down the line. “I am Jeremy Dooley, the leader of this gym. Who are you, challenger?” Michael walked down the pathway, Ryan and the Voltorb in tow. “The name’s Michael Jones and I’m the guy you’re about to lose to.”

Jeremy laughs dramatically. “We’ll see about that.” Jeremy pulls a Pokèball from his waist and throws it. “Go, Rhyhorn!” He shouts as a massive stone rhinoceros appears in a streak of light. Michael smiles and pulls out his own Pokèball. “Go, Charmander!” He shouts as his fiery lizard manifests. Jeremy stares blankly before bursting out in laughter.  “You’re challenging me with a fire type? You’re either confident or stupid. Rhyhorn, use Rock Tomb!” “Charmander, dodge and use Ember!” Michael reacts, directing his Charmander. However, he is too slow, and is hit and pinned by the rocks.

“Now Rhyhorn, use Horn Attack!” Rhyhorn roars as it charges at Charmander, who braces for the impact.

As Rhyhorn continues the charge, an explosion blows a hole in the roof of the gym as a large net drapes over Rhyhorn and Charmander, snaring them.

“Who dares interrupt this important battle?!” Jeremy cries out, as he looks up to see a massive aircraft with a large red “R” emblazoned on it.

A man in all black, wearing a fine black beret, appears from the craft. “We’re Team Funhaus, gym leader. We’re here to steal all your Pokèmon!” As he says that, he flicks a switch, drawing the net into the aircraft. “Rhyhorns and Charmanders are real rare around here. Oh, and before I forget . . .” The Funhaus Grunt pulls out a large canister and aims it at Michael and Jeremy. Activating it, it creates a massive vacuum, pulling their Pokèballs off their waists.

“Pidgey, Rattata, no!” Michael screams as the canister locks the Pokèballs in.

“You know, it’s awfully rude to steal other people’s Pokèmon.” Ryan says, stepping forward. “Looks like I’ll have to teach you manners.”

“And who are you? Some dawdling old man who thinks he can stop us?” The Grunt says tauntingly. “I bet you don’t even have any Pokèmon on you!”

“Oh I have one. Several in fact. Like that Salamence about to disable your aircraft.” Ryan says, pointing up at the sky as a massive dragon swoops down and slashes apart the net, freeing Rhyhorn and Charmander. “Allow me to introduce myself. I am James Ryan Haywood. You might know me better as the Champion of Alola.”

The grunt pauses for a moment before freaking out. “Why is a Champion here?!! You should wasting your time on your throne on your tiny island, not thwarting our grand plan!” Ryan chuckles, before pointing at Michael. “To observe and aid the next generation. I have chosen this boy as my ward and I shall derive great pleasure in watching him grow. Now then; Salamence, use Dragon Rush and send this petty thief flying.”

With a mighty roar, Salamence coats itself in an aura of blue energy and charges at the aircraft, destroying it and launching the Grunt into the sky. Michael quickly rushes to embrace Charmander while Jeremy checks on his Rhyhorn. “Hey Ryan, why didn’t you tell me you were a Champion?” “Would it have changed your opinion?” Ryan asks, returning Salamence to his Pokéball. “No, probably not.” “Then let us resume your adventure. Mr. Dooley, your gym battle?” Jeremy looks around and sighs. “I will need to close the gym to repair it. As such I am temporarily relieved of my gym leader duties. I would be honored if I may accompany you on your quest, Michael.” Michael shrugs and points at Ryan. “I mean this fucker did, so why not?”

Jeremy smiles. “Excellent. Voltorb you’re in charge.” Voltorb spins in place enthusiastically.

Pairing: Barbara/Mica

A New Ghostmate

       It was supposed to be a joke. Haunted houses aren’t real. Yet here Barbara was, playing Mario Kart in her new house with her ghost roommate.

       “How do you play this game Babs?” The ghost said, crashing into every obstacle and banana. “I have no idea what this console is. You called it a Switch?”

“Yeah Mica. It’s the latest Nintendo console. Do you know what Nintendo is?” Barbara asks.

“I’m not an idiot Barbara. I know what Nintendo is. I just . . . haven’t played a console since the Super Nintendo.” Mica replied, trying to adjust to the motion controls.

       “Well Mica, you need hands first. And please don’t call me Babs.” Barbara says, pointing at Mica attempting to play with transparent stubs. “You really shouldn’t look like a stereotypical ghost to play games. Kind of no fine motor control.”

       Mica scoffs. “I guess I could mimic what I looked like in life, but it’s been a long time. My human appearance wasn’t great for scaring people.”

       Barbara can’t help but chuckle at this. “What, a withered old lady ominously floating around, moaning and groaning, spewing ectoplasm isn’t scary? Afraid your ghost form will have brittle bones too?”

       Mica looks down. “I was 23 when I passed. I had come home after college for break . . . we were asleep when some racist jackass who had a grudge against my father decided it’d be a good idea to burn my house down. We never made it out.” She says quietly.

       Barbara can’t speak. She felt awful for making jokes and not thinking about the fact that no matter what the reason, Mica is still a ghost, which means she died unfulfilled in life.

       A period of silence passes before Barbara claps her hands together. “Say, what if I help you pass on? That’s why you’re a ghost, yeah? You never achieved your goals or some shit.”

       Mica looks up. “You know, that’s a swell idea! I wish I had thought of it!”

       Barbara smiles. “So . . . what did you want to do that you never did? Skydive? Run a marathon? Eat really good hummus?”

       “I never got to go on a date. I was too busy with my studies and the options I had weren’t that great.”

       “I can’t believe there weren’t any good looking guys for you to date. Though I’m not sure why, given I don’t know what you look like.”

       Mica laughs at that. “Oh, let me focus for a second.” She says as she begins to glow and shift. The standard sheet appearance began to slowly dissipate, revealing a very attractive, dark skinned, young lady. As the sheet finishes dissipating, a large swath of luxurious hair falls to Mica’s shoulders and she opens her eyes. “How do I look?”

       Barbara looks Mica over before quickly averting her gaze. “You might want to make some clothes up Mica. Looks like you appear exactly as you did in life before you died.”

       Mica looks down to realize she’s stark naked. She quickly manifests a blouse and long skirt. “Listen it’s hot during the summer in Texas! It was easier than running the A/C or that obnoxious fan all night.”

       “It’s okay Mica. Now why couldn’t you get that date? You’re gorgeous. Every guy must have been drooling over you.”

       “It wasn’t the guys I wanted drooling over me.”

“Oh. Oooohhhh.” Barbara responds in realization. “You play for the other team. Tell you what, I’ll take you out on that date you want.”

“Will you really!?” Mica exclaims. “That’d be so wonderful Barbara! But I don’t even know what I want to do on a date. Like I said, never got to go on one.” “Oh wow. You’re really serious. Okay, uh . . . .” Barbara sat there, pondering. “Can you leave the house or are you stuck here?” Mica sighed. “I can’t leave the premises. The yard, the house, I have free reign but beyond that I’d need a body or something. Maybe, not sure. Never tried.” Barbara laughs at that one. “You’re pretty funny. Okay, how’s this for a date? What’s your favorite meal?” “I like a nice beef wellington. Ooh, and maybe some ceviche or something. I also really really like sushi. I also can’t say no to nice apple pie.” “Okay, uh . . . I’ll Google how to make those things and then I’ll go to the H.E.B., get the ingredients, and make you your favorite dishes, which by the way were you guys rich or what because those are really fucking fancy dishes.”

“We weren’t poor but we had a comfortable life. Got to have fancy meals for nice events. Perks of your parents being a couple of attorneys.”

“Oh wow. Okay. So yeah, I’ll get the ingredients and make you all that delicious food, then we can chill and watch a movie. I have Netflix!” Barbara says cheerfully.

“What’s Netflix? Is it like Blockbuster?” Mica replies, confused.

“Oh my you really haven’t been able to get out of this house in twenty years, have you? It’s like Blockbuster but all online. Don’t have to go out to a store or anything.”

“Oh wow! That’s so cool. Must take forever. AOL is so slow to start up.”

A cold chill fills the house as Barbara takes a minute to recompose herself.

“Okay, no. Like Nintendo, the internet has updated and improved in the past twenty years.” Barbara finally replies. “But getting back on track, yeah I’ll make your favorite foods, we’ll watch a movie, cuddle, and then maybe go lie down in the backyard on a soft blanket and stargaze. How does that sound?”