#jerome bethea

      A few months ago, I was sitting on the couch with my older sister, Chana Ita, and she says "Rif, you're here" and she gestures with her hands, kind of belly level. "But you could be here" and she gestures about a foot higher. What the heck did she mean? I felt a brewing of panic and excitement. I think my mouth actually became dry. I wanted to hear more and I was scared to hear more. Do you know what happens when you go to the Next World? A simple and profound and earthshaking, mind blowing experience. You're shown the person you were meant to become. You're given an HD version of YOU if you'd used all your potential, all your gifts, all your self discipline to become who you really are. I have an uncle, who's an  extraordinary man. When he was in his twenties he got a job in  a beginners yeshiva for guys growing in their Jewish observance. He was a star! The guys loved him! His energy and fun made him the number one mentor around there. People would literally wait in line for a chance to speak with him, learn from him. One day , his Rebbe, who loved him very much said to him." If you stay here, this is all you'll ever be. Being a great guy, riding on sweetness and charisma. But you may never find out who you could really have been. If you want to grow, go somewhere that challenges you." Leaving was unthinkable. He was tailor made for the job! He left anyway. There were others who could be good guys. but his Rebbe, who knew him inside and out, knew that there was more in him then that. He left behind the comfort of being validated a hundred times a day. He left behind behind the comfort of being at the head of the pack. He left behind easy street and crossed over to embrace the Giant of a man he would one day become. So when my sister said I could do more - I knew she was right. G-d was speaking to me through her, prodding me to go to where I needed to be. Its so easy to see potential in other people. We know  that if  she would just start to eat healthier her energy would improve and if he would stop being stubborn and just ask some advice, his business could soar. Notice how you already have the prescription all written out for what  they need to tweak so that their life can be amazing. Now be that other guy - and look at yourself. Be your own observer and and write your own prescription. What do you need to do to live your destiny? These videos and this website are some of the steps I"m taking to leave my comfort zone  and stretch into something new. Its part of what I've gotta do to grow. You're already beautiful, so don't be scared to ask;  who do I want to see in The Great Mirror?    Read more at http://rivkamalka.com/hello-world-2/

Do you know Israel/ Jerome Bethea? He's the insanely talented person who created this site  for me! (Appluase, cheers, throw money!) And who's  behind such an awesome person? His wife. The beazutiful, lovable, Rena/ Summer Bethea (more applause - trust me!) Now, its 1 am and I have Shabbos cooking to do, but another time I really have to tell you the story of how we met Summer and Jerome. How both of them were Christian but met at a Chanuka party, How Jerome used to try to keep Passover the best he knew how, by eating pita bread (because it was flat). And how Summer used to have to sit a "bible's width away" from a boy (in Catholic school)! Then I'll have to tell you how Jerome acted in commercials and movies and even starred on Prison Break. And how he made videos, even before he was Jewish wearing his tzitzis out because he was only about the truth. And how they learned that there was such a thing as Orthodox Jews from a nice Jews for Jesus lady! And don't let me forget to tell you how they came to Baltimore for a visit and found home here. How they finally found a place that there was a Rabbi and a community they could love. And how we all fell in love with them. And how they had the holiest Jewish wedding after they converted a month and a half ago with Summer eight months pregnant! (Check out her FB page for the radiant, ticheled, pregnant bride pics). I'll tell you all about it. But now it's down to business. In 2 days is the deadline for the Help Summer Go Kosher Party. You see, when they converted, though they had been keeping kosher beforehand, they had to throw everything out and start all over again. And now what's she supposed to cook cholent in? So, savvy woman that she is, she made a little party to help out her family.   You can attend by clicking on this link http://www.pamperedchef.biz/sarahcolet  and ordering from the Pampered Chef.  (Just click on "how to purchase, and type in hosts name - Summer Bethea) If she sells $1,ooo worth, she can get tons of new stuff for her kitchen for free. I"ll tell you the truth. Until tonight, I didnt even order. But then I thought, why am I being so withholding? Me, the girl who fell for buying "the Magic Scarf" in the airport yesterday (A cool scarf - but do I need another one?) can probably spend a few bucks on a nice garlic press or strainer! So before you smile and click on another link. Stop. Think about how your purchase, big or small, is really saying to Summer, "welcome." Welcome to the Jewish  kitchen, welcome to the Family" And how our support will be the next chapter in their story. Love, Rivka Malka PS. click on the picture below to see the whole thing   Read more at http://rivkamalka.com/the-kosher-warriors/

    Has anyone out there experienced loss?  This one's for you [written when my heart was broken]   Not all gifts are meant to last occasionally, a tree will bear some fruit, then stagnate with no continuity   And then the fruit - and not the tree in small delicious bites is the true intended gift from the One who Shines His Light   And even as you mourn the tree whose branches now are bare allow the fruit its time and place be grateful it was there Read more at http://rivkamalka.com/love-and-loss-or-bitter-hearts-and-better-hearts/

To enjoy this video, you really have to turn the lights down and quiet your thoughts. It's almost spoken in whispers. And the secrets come from a woman who has lived a thousand lifetimes in one. Her heart gives love from a pure, unconditional source.  Stick around for the whole conversation - you'll be glad you did.     Read more at http://rivkamalka.com/your-inner-pricess-glows-a-talk-with-shoshana-liebman/

  6 Am in the morning , I walked into my daughter's room and she was gone. Gone. Really gone.  Gone from her bed, gone from her room, gone from all her siblings rooms and gone from the whole house. I woke my husband up. "This is real," I said "She's not here". Outside it was pitch black and inside the world started spinning. I had gotten up early that morning to take my 10-year-old daughter out for a special reason. Friends of ours (Summer and Jerome from "The Kosher Warriors") had recently had a baby and that morning was the bris.  Minky had planned to get up at 5:30 and I had planned on taking her to Summer's house at 6 so she could help out. Now, she was nowhere to be found. We called Jerome - no answer. We called Summer - no answer.The whole thing made no sense. Where was she? She wouldn't have gone outside in the dark? Ten minutes later we finally got through to Jerome. He said, "We got her, she's been on our porch since 5:45" Could you believe it? I couldnt believe it! It still boggles my mind that this little girl had that much oomph and fearlessness! I was stumped. Here was a kid who put herself in a life threatening situation, walking in pre dawn hours, who most likely had an inkling that it wasn't the best idea but did it anyway. On the other hand, here was a kid who felt on top of the world doing a chesed and was willing to wake up early to help out a friend. So what to do? What did I do? My first reaction had been "Wow, that is so dangerous! We have to teach her a lesson!" And I started wracking my brains about what action to take that would scare her sufficiently that there wouldn't be a repeat scenario. But when I saw her, when I really saw her, not a little perpetrator that I was ready to condemn for the fright she gave me, but a little girl with a big heart and a will of iron, I changed course. I said a few clear words to her about how dangerous it was, and how she should never do it again, while giving her a hug. I saw she got it. So we attended the Bris and it was beautiful but all the time I was thinking. "Okay, that was the preliminary action, but what do  I really need to do here?" There was a little part of me that felt that if this didn't have a concrete consequence , she wouldn't learn the lesson. But as the hours passed,  nothing felt right to me. It didn't make sense to repay the good with bad. I just needed her to know just how dangerous what she did was. The main thing is that she learned to be safe. So I  had a small strong talk about the dangers of being out alone and made sure she knew that it was never to be repeated. Ever. And that was that That was two weeks ago and as time passes, I'm happier and happier that I didn't punish her. My willingness to understand her softened her heart to my message of safety and it penetrated. No matter how just a consequence would be, all she would have felt is resentment. "But it's not fair, I was trying to do something nice!" It would be as if I didn't see her, see her goodness. A while ago I had my then three year old in a playgroup. I didn't love the playgroup and  took him out in the middle of the year. One memory stands out in particular. When a child would misbehave, the teacher would put him in the "Tzadik Corner (the Righteous Man's Corner"), a wall which was covered with portraits of tzadikim. There he would sit to learn how to behave. I'm ill just thinking about it. What was really going on was ; there he would sit to be shamed in the company of serious bearded faces. OH! the horrible associations a child can make! As if G-d Himself was dissaproving!  And  it was more than just the method, it was the attitude towards children. Contrast this. A few years later I was looking into a Jewish Montessori school for my other 3 year old son. One of the questions I asked the principal was "What do you do when they don't behave?" She said, "Boruch Hashem!  (Thank G-d!) Each one of them is so good!" with a huge smile. I  couldn't help smiling with her, but I pressed on. "But what if a child really does something wrong?" She looked up at heaven and said "Boruch Hashem!  They're so special!" Now, this woman runs a whole school singlehandedly, and its been around for years. Don't think that there are no guidelines for the children.  The whole school is structured on the balance of guidelines and free play. But listen to her attitude. She simply would not condemn children.   It's something to think about. Do we complain about our kids? Do we truly believe in them as people? Do we see them as the precious piece of purity that they are? Have we succumbed to  "good girl, bad girl attitudes?" Sure, children don't always do the right thing - but  let's understand that that's perfect. That's how it should be - they're children and they're learning. Our job as adults is to teach them right from wrong through instruction and through  modeling. There are times that call for consequences or punishment and I'd like to address those in a different post. Todays' post is on attitude. How we percieve our children is a critical launching point for our subsequent responses. My sister in law is the mother of eleven. Here's how she looks at her kids. "Mommy" "Yes, Treasure, Delicious" "Can I have a cup of water?" "Suuuure, it would be my pleasure, my little sweet nesahama (soul) or "Mommy" "Yes, my darling, precious " "Can you help me" "Sure, my sweetness, my golden girl, I"ll be there as soon as I can" She speaks this way to her kids of all ages. It's an outpouring of love. I'm telling you, when you're around her, you just become a nicer mother. You hear her language and it resonates. "Yes, my child is a treasure!" What we say reflects how we feel. We can use that as a starting place for working on a truer, kinder view of children Try these words out at home. Start a ripple effect. Let it begin with your tongue and travel to your heart.  Make a wave of positivity and bathe your children in it. Wash away the condemning attitudes and revel in your children!           Read more at http://rivkamalka.com/those-little-angels/

  Salad?! Uh hu. I'm on a strict no sugar diet, but this salad had me taking thirds. Oy vey! It's kind of surprising that it's so special because the ingredients are pretty simple - you're gonna love it! 1 bag of shredded cabbage (around 5 cups) 3/4 cups honey glazed slivered almonds (you can use non honey glazed but it won't be as sweet) 6 scallions finely chopped Dressing 1/3 c oil 6 TBS vinegar 6 TBS sugar 1 tsp salt Dress the salad shortly before serving. It makes enough for a large family. Thanks Yaelli for this Recipe and for the sweet memories of Succos at your house that come with it! Read more at http://rivkamalka.com/the-salad-i-broke-my-diet-on/

  I remember it like yesterday. I was 13, in a summer camp in Canada. The sun was warm and bright and I sat outside, lounging in my cutest outfit. Exactly who I was posing for in an all girls camp beats me. But it worked. A girl walked over and started talking to me. She asked me my name. "Rivka Malka," I said. "Oh," she replied, "You look like more of a Jessica!" I looked at her, a big grin spread across my face. A little bubble of happiness filled my heart. She thought I was cool! Cool enough to be a Jessica! So cool that my long and clumsy Hebrew name didn't even fit me. So cool, in my cute little outfit, that I couldn't possibly be that orthodox. When I remember that story I have to smile. Who exactly did I want to be? And who did I think Rivka Malka was? Just the other day I was reading Minchas Erev, by Chana Benjamin PhD.. She writes that the Jewish People were redeemed from Egypt because no matter how much they assimilated they held on to their Jewish names. The exile in Egypt, in fact, was necessary for them to experience a reunion with their names. What a cool concept! A reunion with your name! Your name is your essence. It's the immutable fact  of who you are. It's your personal, individualized spark of G-d and the expression of that spark in this world. Even Pharoah, she writes, called his daughter Batya - daughter of G-d, because he considered himself a deity. In fact, he was right, she was a daughter of G-d - the One G-d and she raised Moshe and identified with The Jewish People. All of who you are is only in potential. It's bound up with your name and its locked up in your name , until you choose to become the thing you are. Chana writes that this is a process that we engage in all day long. "Do I choose to be patient or impatient? Do I choose self-discipline or overeating? Do I choose to pray or to rush through the day? Do I choose to be selfish or to be kind?"  We're in  constant movement. With each one of these decisions we either connect or disconnect from who we are. And more. We connect to G-d by connecting to our names. I know a Rabbi who likes to say "Judaism is not a religion - it's a system of personal development."  I knew that he'd thought through this definition when I heard him say it, but I couldn't wrap my head around it. "If that's what it is," I thought, "then where does G-d fit in?" Now, at last it makes sense to me. Coming into who you are and connecting with G-d are one and the same. That's why; and this is the most beautiful part; after we became who we needed to be; after discovering and rediscovering ourselves through the Egyptian bondage, when we finally emerge what's the first thing G-d reveals to us? His Name! He starts the Ten Commandments with "I am Hashem , your G-d!" By getting to know ourselves we came to know Him! This is mind -  boggling, beautiful Torah! G-d is loving and supportive. He bound up His process of revelation with our process of self discovery, our success with His glory. And its all in the name. So take yourself seriously. Look at your name and find your purpose in it. The answers to your deepest, most existential questions may be right on the tip of your tongue without you even knowing it. My name, Rivka Malka, used to feel so heavy for me. It wasn't cute or catchy and people always forgot it, calling me Esther Malka or Rivka Leah or some other more common combination. But the more I learn, the more right it feels. Rivka was our mother, Rebecca. A woman who symbolized strength. She needed to make her own decisions from an early age. Even within her marriage she was called on to act with what she knew was best for her family. I get a lot of strength from this when  I need to act with  forwardness or find myself having strong opinions. I try not to use it an excuse for being obnoxious, but as a prod to be courageous. It also comes from the word Boker - morning, which connotes perceptive as the dawn sheds light on the dark world. Malka means a  queen. In Judaism, a king must always carry with him, a Torah scroll. This is to remind him that he's just an agent, representing the will of G-d. I feel too, that my ability to be effective in this world is directly in proportion to my working to establish connection with G-d. I keep this in mind when I'm slacking or when I need direction. There are verses too, that correspond to your name. My verse is all about refraining from sinning. When I first read it, I was 16 and I was insulted! That's who I am? I have a sinning issue?! But with time, I see how on target it is. I'm an all or nothing  person. I 'm intense. Intensely joyful, intensely moody, intensely loving, intensely busy. If I want to be who I need to be then I need to know that there are certain things I just can't do. Period. Because everything affects me so deeply. I've shared just a bit and even this bit helps me tremendously. As  my life unfolds, if I'm willing,and if I work at it,  more will be revealed. I still think Jessica is such a pretty name. It's just not me. What about you? Where do you find your calling? Are you a Jessica? And if so, who are you?  What's your soul name, your Hebrew name that the angels will call you when they usher you in to the Garden of Eden? Are you a Leah, a Rochel, an Esther, a Shulamit, a Meira, a Devorah? What's in your name? Can you share it with me? Please? I'd love to hear!        Read more at http://rivkamalka.com/i-wish-i-was-a-jessica/

    My friend Rachel Zamoiski fell in love with a Mezuza case 2 years ago in Israel. She bought it then, and its been sitting in her house since. This year for her father's yartzheit, Rachel decided to take on a Mitzvah in his merit. So we went to the Jewish book store and bought a scroll to put inside so that she  could hang up a mezuza. she sent me a picture of her mezuza proudly hanging on her door. This poem was written for her. Rachel, your Jewish heart beats strong! My Mezuza Speaks    I've come home For years I've waited first in the studio As the artist carved and painted and brought me to life Then, in the crowded store as swarms of people filed by their gaze distracted. Then she found me And lifted me up in the air And down to her open arms   I knew at once she understood. She saw who I was, who I could be Not a mere decoration, a hollow case she understood that beauty and truth are internal and that holiness holds mystery beyond the seeing eye I knew my time had almost arrived I waited... And then she was ready. She uncovered another layer  Deep inside her Another layer of her truth and beauty And at the same time, revealed mine She filled my case with a luminous scroll and filled her heart with faith Read more at http://rivkamalka.com/the-heartbeat-of-a-mezuza/