#jensenyap

My imprisonment is for Christ

your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, 10 so that you may approve what is excellent, sand so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, 11 filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God

When Paul said this, he is not talking about a romantic love to a love one. He is tackling the love we carry for those that need our help, those around us that are still in darkness, that in God’s wisdom(knowledge & discernment) that we can share the good news the glorious suffering and the victory that Jesus overcame for us in our lives to our surroundings. 

Only let your manner of life be worthyGreek Only behave as citizens worthy">8 of the gospel of Christ

Apostle Paul ended Philippians 1 after talking about how 

to live is Christ, and to die is gain

and his sufferings is for the glory of God. Leaving and be with Christ would be better, but he sees his own suffering and endurance as his ministry to spread Christ to those who don’t know Jesus. He displayed Christ by living his life out with assurance and confidence that the glory of God is better. It shows a glimpse of Job’s life over here as well. Naked I came, naked I will go. But yet, God has yet taken me to Him, so I will be faithful to His plans because His thoughts are higher than mine.

Crazy just to see how Apostle Paul living and writing this letter in such pain and suffering and yet have joy in suffering.

He ended by commanding us, Let your manner of life be worthy of the Gospel of Christ. What does that mean? That means live a life that mirrors Christ, that is so different from the world but yet able to display His glory side to them. It means when you track down your days, weeks, months, you can find traces of God’s fingerprints in the people that are surrounding you. You can see that your life truly impacted your love ones, your friends & family, coworkers and more. 

Enough

“I have enough, my brother; keep what you have for yourself.”

Jacob is continuously experiencing God’s grace and blessings. He went back to Canaan with this fear of his brother will kill him. Even after wrestling with God, he still was going through fear that his brother was able to kill him. I think this shows how the old testaments are not just stories but real life events that are recorded to display our emotions and feelings, doubts and sins so that we not only learn from it but read and learn how God heals, listens and deliver us from them.

I know and I still want to be a part of this. Lord, when I am weak, I know You are listening to me. 

He strived with God

“Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed.”

“Why is it that you ask my name?” And there he blessed him.

Jacob knew the man is God but he still asked the man what his name is. This shows me that Jacob was in a place desperation for the help of God, so that Esau, his brother will not kill him and his families. 

Jacob wrestled with the man(God) right after sending his families away. And he was alone, in the place wrestling with God. He was not letting go until the very end, because that’s how much he needs the blessing in his situation and he knows it.

God, in this time and season, I know that I’m wrestling a lot in me. Am I doing the right thing? I don’t know, honestly God. Should I have taken all the offers and leave this company when I had the chances? Should I be looking for jobs right now and find a place to grow? Should I stay but work on my own things? How can I trust anyone anymore? Who is telling me the truth and who is not? Why is everyone lying in here? Why is everyone turning against each other like this? Why can’t we create a space and system of trust and believe? Why does it have to end this way? 

All these questions, all this debates going on again and again in my head. All I know is that I’m in desperate need of You, Lord. Help me to see Your ways in where I am right now. Help me to push through this and help this place to be a company that has true leaderships, right vision and culture for a better workplace for everyone. I need You, Lord. Guide me through this, Jesus. My heart aches when I see my close coworkers leaving every single week. Comfort my heart, Lord.

Day & Night

I bore the loss of it myself. From my hand you required it, whether stolen by day or stolen by night. There I was: by day the heat consumed me, and the cold by night, and my sleep fled from my eyes.

Jacob was abused through power, being controlled by Laban but he still faithfully finish his works with integrity. God sees it, every single day, day and night, when Jacob labored and was treated with injustice, he was able to stand firm at where he was and wait on to the Lord.

I pray that Lord, even during this trial period of my workplace. People are leaving the company with anger, with sadness, with hatred, with unforgiveness, I pray that on behalf of them, healing and comfort over them Lord. I know it wasn’t easy for all of them, including myself. But I pray we will all able to move on, and for me, I’m able to fix my eyes on You, and not what’s happening physically towards me that I can’t control. You are in control of this situation, and I know You see everything, all the injustices, all the misunderstanding, all the backstabbing and lies. You see them and I pray for healing even right now in my heart as I’m lifting this prayer up to You, Lord. I pray that I will continue this route until You call me to the next one. I put my trust onto You, Lord. Lead me.

God blessed Jacob abundantly.

God alone gives children. He causes babies to be born. He even determines what color baby sheep and goats will be. Genesis 30 describes the urgent desire of Rachel and Leah to have sons for Jacob and how God hears and grants their prayers in His own time. In addition, God blesses Jacob's unusual breeding practices with Laban's flocks to finally allow Jacob to overcome his father-in-law's schemes to keep Jacob under his service.

Even though Jacob was on the losing side, nothing is going to work for him to get what he deserved, God used Jacob wisdom to multiple the sheep and make it strong so that Jacob and take them with him.

Our God is a God that is powerful and capable to change everything for our good. I believe and pray that we will not lose sight of His power and understand that it’s more than suffering He is showing us when it’s hard for us. I’m sure that He is teaching us something very important during those seasons.

Amen

Jacob the deceiver

As the Lord is teaching Jacob the deceiver what it is like to be deceived by using Laban and tricked Jacob into working and married Leah before Rachel. Of course Jacob was angry, but because of his love towards Rachel. He moved on and worked for another 7 years.

Yet Leah, too, must learn that it is only through the Lord that her identity can be truly established. As she bears Jacob one son after another, she seeks to use her childbearing as a way to get Jacob to love her—“Now this time,” she says, “my husband will be attached to me, because I have borne him three sons” (29:34). She is building her identity on her husband’s love for her instead of on the Lord’s love for her. With the fourth son, however, divine grace breaks through: “This time I will praise the LORD” (29:35). Her fundamental affection has been redirected. And the name of the fourth son? Judah—the one through whom the covenant promises will finally be fulfilled.

A place of praise and worship is always a place we learn that not us but God is in control. He is the Alpha and Omega in our lives, our situation, our story, our universe.

Bethel, house of God

And he dreamed, and behold, there was a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven. And behold, the angels of God were ascending and descending on it! And behold, the LORD stood above it and said, “I am the LORD, theGod of Abraham your father and the God of Isaac. The land on which you lie I will give to you and to your offspring. Your offspring shall belike the dust of the earth, and you shall spread abroad to the we stand to the east and to the north and to the south, and in you and your offspring shall all the families of the earth be blessed. Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land. For I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.”

Jacob dreamed and say that the angels were ascending and descending from heaven through the ladder. God immediately spoke to Jacob and blessed him with the same promise He spoke over Abraham & Isaac. Even though Jacob was on his way leaving the land, God promised that He will bring Jacob back again.

For I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.

God says He will not leave us until He is done with what He promised us. God say, Jensen, I’m not done with you yet. The promises I gave you, the dreams you had, I’m still not done. And He is with me, in me, and He is leading and guiding towards what He called me to.

God, I know You are with me, I know You with us. I pray for my girlfriend, Sohjeong, and I lift her up to you. God I know You have given her lots of dreams, lots of promises and I know You are still reminding her about them. I pray that Sohjeong will not be discouraged by what she is going through right now. You are the God of Jacob, You are also the God of Sohjeong. And I pray this over her, For You will not Sohjeong until You have done what You’ve promised Sohjeong. All the dreams to be in the creative, and also be strong and bold in her work, with her ministry and also with her friends. That she will be like Jacob, putting up her pillow(her resting place) and worship You and find boldness in You. That she can cut through all the discouragements, all the circumstances and be who You called her to be. A princess in Your kingdom, A warrior in her spirit, the light in this world. In Your name, 

“Here I am. Who are you, my son?”

Jacob like, and Isaac suspected it at first till he smelled Esau’s clothes, and believed Jacob that he was Esau and prayed the prayer of blessings over Jacob. 

God worked even within lies and sins, and showed mercy and grace towards both Rebekah and Jacob, knowing that both of them lied, in order to obtain and get the prayer blessing from Esau. 

God works in mysterious ways, and this is one of them, why couldn’t it be Esau? Why does it need to be Jacob? Esau, is probably strong by judging on the text describing him as a hunter, on the other hand, Jacob, said it with his own word, that he is more of a quiet person. Not really the one that hunts animal around with spears or arrow. 

When we just read the text, yea, it makes sense that Esau should’ve been the one that got his inheritance, and I do feel bad from Esau. But we need to know that Esau is the one that placed himself in that position at first. He forfeit his birthright because he was hungry. He treated his own inheritance, his identity as something light. He believes that with his God-given talent, he is the one that deserves his father’s blessings. And because of pride and ego, he can see but yet blind. 

Jacob, was quiet and may seem weak, but yet he is ready. He is ready to receive the inheritance, and also he was ready to even go to extremes for God’s promises in his own life. 

We are both Esau and Jacob. We are sinners but yet carrying God’s promises in our daily lives. We all are like Esau, knowing that yes we deserve His blessings, His promises because of our skills, our gifts, our talents and etc. But yet, other side of us desire to be like Jacob, knowing that we are weak and we can’t get it unless we listen and follow on God’s voice because indeed, we don’t deserve His promises at the first place.

I pray, that I will not let myself be like Esau, treating God’s words and promises as something light, but also know that He is my good good father that desires me to see and believe that He is leading me to my promise land.