Bombalurina met the Jellicles shortly before Demeter. After the fallout with Macavity, she introduced Deme to the Junkyard with the hopes that they could find protection in numbers and start over. Munkustrap didn’t formally meet her until about a week later, but he was surprised to find himself immediately drawn to her. Her fur was thin and patchy, the scars from his attack hadn’t yet faded, and she was too skinny, yet her eyes told a story beyond anything he could imagine. She spooked at the sight of all but Jellylorum, but he hoped that she would eventually be comfortable enough to commune with the rest of the Tribe. Once she realized that no Jellicle would dare harm her and that the Junkyard was well guarded, he started to notice her basking in the sun with Bomba and Jemima at her side. Now she was speaking with Jelly and Jenny, her voice a little more confident than in times past. Before he understood what was happening, she started to ask about him. Finally, one day, she caught him passing the pipe and the two started to chat. Munkustrap couldn’t tell you today what they spoke about then; he was distracted by the fact that she was actually smiling at him and laughing at his stupid jokes. She started to seek him out after that, and once, Tugger told him, “Her tail drooped when she couldn’t find you.”At her first Jellicle Ball, they sat under the moonlight together and Demeter admitted she was attracted to him, but she wasn’t ready to be or have a mate yet. That night was bittersweet for them both. Munkustrap had no idea what she had been through, he just knew it was traumatic. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt or scare her, so he took a step back, kept his feelings to himself, and waited as patiently as he could until she was ready. And eventually…she was.
Something like that. TL;DR is that Munkustrap noticed Demeter first and his feelings for her grew until he thought he would explode, but he held back and kept his distance because he knew she wasn’t ready to have or be a mate. He loved her and he just knew she was worth waiting for, even if she didn’t believe it. I’m sure I’ve talked about this before, but it’s ALWAYS at the back of my mind.