#jeffkoval

It’s like an itching, in my skull, I mean.  Like this burning fear that there’s something, or someone there, telling me what to do.  But I know it’s not real.

“You’ve gotta kill ‘em, champ.”  This HABIT of mine keeps telling me.  “Ya don’t really have a choice on this one, I’m afraid.”

It started about 3 months ago, a small twitch.  Sitting in my chair, watching some documentary about penguins or something.  I got up and turned around to grab a drink from my fridge and I swear I saw him.  I saw this reflection, it looked exactly like me, but... I don’t know, something about it was just evil.  Something just felt cruel at its core.  I blinked and it was gone.  Life goes on, right?  So I started to see this evil in the mirror, alone in hallways, and on street corners.  And as I would walk past it, I’d hear this voice.  Like a scratching behind my eyes.

“Come on, buddy,” and “Where ya goin’?” and “You can’t run.”

But I tried.  I took down my mirror, I started walking with other people, and I started taking the bus.  Eventually, it didn’t matter.  This HABIT would follow me everywhere.  When I was alone it would push me, and shove me, and urge me to cross the line.  It wasn’t long before I’d stopped going to classes, locking myself away in my apartment.  I would pick up the phone to call someone, or when someone called me, and there it would be, that scratching, itching voice.