#jedicoded

We think we're moving on , from materials we long To forget we ever sold our souls to own

OBI - WAN KENOBI & MARA KENOBI JADE   //   as loved by KYLIE & MARA !

@jedicoded | first three in my inbox get kisses ( 1 / 3 )

The strength of the energy she can feel sparking between their clasped hands is stronger than anything she’s felt in the Force before. 

( She hadn’t even known that contact with another living being could feel like this -- it’s just a simple touch, but it’s not simple at all. She can feel the callouses on his hand from his lightsaber, mirroring the calloused ridges on her own hands, but more than just his hand holding hers, she can feel... something else. She doesn’t know what to call it; she doesn’t know what she’s allowed to call it. She doesn’t dare try to name this feeling. ) 

She hears him say her name, and she knows. He feels it, too, and he doesn’t know what to do with it, either. 

They’re going to die in less than two hours. This doesn’t matter, this isn’t important -- it can’t be important, because it can’t be anything. ( And yet... it does matter. It’s the only thing that matters. This is the only thing that matters. Him, sitting beside her. His hand, still clasped in hers. Their shoulders touching, the blanket wrapped around them both, though somehow it isn’t the blanket that’s warming either of them. ) 

“ I feel it, too. ” Her voice is barely more than a whisper, and even as she speaks, she’s terrified that he’ll hear a tremor in her words. She pulls her gaze to him, and somehow, she can feel that her eyes are filled with tears. She isn’t sad, and she doesn’t let the tears fall; she doesn’t know if she wants to laugh or cry. 

They’re so close that even through her blurring vision she can see deep into his eyes; she can see the feelings reflected there -- she can see into his very soul, and she doesn’t have to name this feeling, because she can see it in his eyes, and they must not name it. They cannot. And yet, it pulls them together. 

Any amount of space left between them closes, and their lips meet. There are no thoughts of the Code, or their Masters, or the Council. There’s nothing but him, and this feeling between them, so strong that it has to be the will of the Force. 

                                  obitine  edit  1/??  ---  tatooine  au                                                           @jedicoded​

     ❝ Tell the Marshal he can put you back where he found you. ❞ This man is no more than a shadow, Atlas bound, && wearing the weight of the evening pressed against his shoulders. Anakin has long been accustomed to identifying the symptoms of grief. More in the mirror than in a stranger’s stance. But the principle remains the same. ❝ I’m not going to help you uphold some false honor or memory just so you can live with yourself a little longer. Find someone else to be your pet project. ❞

     We both failed him. Echoed words that flit about your subconscious and pierce your heart like broken shards of transparisteel. What had you done wrong ? Every moment spoken out of turn, or every order questioned when you had been so certain that you’d been the RIGHT one ( what did it matter now who was right ? what did it all matter ? ) flash behind eyelids squeezed shut, a never ending holovid that played back every moment where, perhaps, it was your fault. Had it been there, when you had left, folded hand-made padawan’s braid in his hand and walked away ? Or there, when voice had never raised and spoken up about his darker tendencies, his anger that lashed out like a raging star that you yourself felt simmering beneath rich skin ?

     Or there, at the very beginning ? Had your mere appearance, stepping down gunship ramp, been the moment where it had all fallen apart, your BOND the very thing that had shattered him in the end ?

     A sob rises, chokes you, your own guilt and self-hatred like hands around your throat, threatening to steal every inhale you try to take to calm yourself.❝ I ——— I didn’t know… h-how could I have known ——— ❞ We both failed him. You failed him. The hands are tightening, and the mournful cries fall like shrapnel from your lips, ripping you apart from the inside such as that you’re surprised you don’t see BLOOD in your palms.

     How could you have known ?

     You were a child made to play war games, raised to be a soldier despite their claims of PEACE, of JUSTICE ( where was justice when your whole world was shown to be a lie, when friends and brothers were destroyed before wide eyes ? where was their justice ? where was yours ? ), given to a man who held the burden of CHOSEN ONE ! upon his head. Had he asked for that ? Had you ? No, you answer yourself with a hiss through clenched teeth, no, you had simply been an apprentice who loved their master like the father you never had, a c h i l d.

     Don’t you put that blame on me ! I was a child !

     Yes, snarl between your heart breaking sobs, bare your teeth at them and the sickening guilt that still applies pressure to your windpipe, claws at your gut. They had no right to put that expectation on a girl trying to do the best she could, a girl trying to SURVIVE.

     We both failed him…

    ❝ No, you failed US ! ❞

     Guilt burned away, and you can momentarily b r e a t h e, suck in deep and fill your lungs with your righteous anger ————— for now, at least. This is a cycle you know well, guilt to resentment and resentment to anger, over and over and over. A huff, a sigh, and you sag once more against the weight of it, curl inside yourself, wait out the storm within you. ❝ I didn’t know… ❞

The commlink crackles as a clone trooper’s voice comes over. “ Two injured Jedi at the main hanger. ”

“ Copy. ” Adi’s crisp voice responds, tight with the weight of the losses already felt in the Living Force. Siri gives her a sideways glance as they hop out of their starfighters in sync, booted feet landing on the docking bay platform. “ Siri, take a shuttle down to the main hanger. I’ll stay here and coordinate with Mace and the others on the ground to send more shuttles where they’re needed. ”

“ Yes, Master. ” She waves for a few clones standing by to follow her, and moves at a run towards a large shuttle further down the docking bay, hurrying up the ramp. “ Get the med supplies ready, ” she instructs one of the troops as she hurries to the cockpit and runs the startup sequence almost before she’s even sat down. ( She tries not to think about the fact that she hasn’t heard from Bant since Master Windu called the rest of the Jedi pilots down to the ground, nor that she’s still heard nothing from Garen. Or worse, Obi-Wan. She tries not to think about the tight grin on Garen’s face when they’d parted at the Jedi Temple, and the ‘I’ll let you know as soon as we get him,’ that he’d said to try to make all three of them feel better. Part of her hopes that at least one of the three of them is in the hanger she’s heading towards… and part of her hopes that none of them are there and injured. )

“ There it is, sir. ” The clone trooper in the co-pilot’s seat points to the hanger up ahead, and Siri passes control of the ship to him.

“ Land us inside, ” she requests, moving through the ship to the entry ramp, lowering it the very second she feels the ship reach the ground.