♬.˚ back to friends by sombr
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌✎ᝰ. synopsys: you and your friend made a terrible mistake and now it's time to face the consequances.
✎ᝰ. warnings: MDNI! sexual content, mentions of sleeping together, swearing, hard feelings, mentions of drinking, gunwook’s a little toxic in this one but they talk it out, fluff ending tho
✎ᝰ. notes: i'm baaackk!! it has been ages, yes, but i've been extra busy with my studies :((
✎ᝰ. disclaimer: everything written here is purely fictional and based on imagination. I do not know the real personalities, thoughts, or feelings of the individuals mentioned. this content is meant for entertainment and creative purposes only.
If you could, you would do everything differently, starting from never meeting park gunwook. That would be first and the last change, the only one thing you would adjust in your life. You would avoid making the mistake of ever meeting him because without him ever present in your life you wouldn't feel so miserable as you were now.
You turned to the side on your bed. Through window glass you could count the stars on the night sky, it was so clear. Contrary to what was going on in your mind right now. You didn't even bother checking the time, it was far too late. Too late to go to sleep and to late to stay awake. Too late to even try to talk to him and too late to press rewind. You were never the punctual type. Somehoa you'd always ended up being too early to things or just late. Your love life was no exception.
Once again you messed up the covers in hope it will fall onto your body in the right way to help you get comfy.
You opened your lockscreen and without even looking at the hour you went straight to your messages.
You shoved your phone underneath your pillow.
Just another day passed by without you resolving your inner conflict. But who would even care about such thing? Certainlu not him.
You really couldn't understand how he managed to stay unbothered by all this. You’ve never took him for this type of man and even more - person.
The familiar uncertainty set in. You were on the verge again. Leaving a message was always an option, but having to wait for his response for another four hours seemed like obvious torture. You would much rather get hurt a minute after your act of bravery than be led on, building hopes and dreams that he would later crush ten times more painfully. Having a situationship with Gunwook wasn’t on your bingo card for this year. But here you were, struggling to think about anything but him. Your memory kept flashing images of the night when all of this went downhill.
You could’ve sworn that on that particular night there was something in the air, that the world around you looked different. It had to be something, because normally you would never let that happen. If it had been any other day, you would’ve never permitted his hands to wander as far as they did, his breath to come this close, his mouth to find places known only to you.
You let a loud, heavy sigh escape your lips as once again your eyes has fallen onto the ceiling above you.
You couldn't live like this forever.
You've been trying to come to terms with Gunwook. To somehow resolve all of this without being too direct, too embarassing. By that you mean of course seeing him and acting like nothing happened. Which wasn't exactly what you had hoped for.
You had been friends for a very long time. You met in high school, and it just so happened that you shared the same interests. You both enjoyed the same meals, the same movies, and even the same school subjects. You liked each other’s company — a very typical, picture-perfect friendship. And it was certainly true: you considered him your best friend, and he considered you his.
You were so close that sometimes you stayed at his place for the night. The next morning, you would sit together on the bus, listening to music through his earphones. After that, you would spend time muttering the answers to his quiz under your breath while the day slowly passed by. It was sweet for a long time. But then the storm came.
It was easy being around him. Nothing ever bothered your mind when you were with Gunwook. Every moment with him felt so carefree. He was the only person you would ever do a trust fall with — because you knew he would always catch you.
And now he had you in his grip, holding you tightly, with no sign of ever letting go.
it was pathetic how you couldn't sleep because of that. people your age, your friends were all doing similar kind of things and you even were thinking sometimes that maybe you should give it a try too.
and maybe you would but not now after being traumatized by having a one night stand with your best friend.
you had a time in the past where you put trust in him. you actually hoped something will come out of this. it would be a lie to say you've never imagined anything with gunwook. but it was all so distant, so unsignificant that it was really easy to get over with. it was impossible to not even let your brain slip into these visions, when he had all the right assets and qualifications for a boyfriend. but it was a short term in your relationship, a rather fresh stage and now - this whole situation was not desirable but twisted as hell.
yet again you rolled onto your side. images of the said night were hunting your thoughts, consuming your brain. you could feel yourself slowly giving up, succumbing to the desires and feelings surrounding this event. your eyes got heavier and heavier and soon you could no longer fight the urge to rip your head open but instead you accepted the fact that you slept with your best friend and there's no way out now.
_______________________________________________
the morning light was coming harshly through your window. it was a chilly day in Korea, one of those when your nose goes red once you go out of your apartment. the inevitable sign of winter being just around the corner. normally you would be thinking about how your going to spend your winter holiday - skiing with gunwook and the rest of your pals was a tradition now. but not with everything you've had on your plate in this moment. seriously, spending time with him was making you more and more sick. And the fact that you two basically worked with each other did not help. You've been on your week off but today you had to come to the studio to teach them the new choreo for the nearest comeback.
Working with the boys was a delight, you've always had fun with them. But at some point gunwook's image started to blur. Looking at him, observing him for so long and being in his presence made you think about him even after your working hours, when you laid alone in your bed. you developed a hopeless crush and was completely stuck with the visions of him. That's how he was putting a spell on you. He had your mind wrapped around him 24/7 and the worst part - he was completely clueless about it.
You've talked. You've shared a laugh. It was nice. But every interaction was cruelly painfull because after all the chat you were still pinning for him to ask you out or simply do more. But it seemed so out of reach with him. You grew closer. You talked in private, you had you inside jokes. Then the meeting part came in. You were thrilled when he proposed an idea to go out some evening for drinks. It was one of the most fun nights you've ever had.
And it was always so simple. To talk to him, to look him in the eye, to trust him and to fall in love with him.
You supposed gunwook felt the same. You could feel he's starting to open up, you weren't just two good collegues. You actually became friends. It's rare to have a friend like gunwook. He's the most thoughtful, caring and clever person one could ever meet. He was buying you your favourite soft drinks, making sure you're getting enough sleep and bringing you painkillers when you're headache was killing you. the type to hold your hair when your throwing up in the club's bathroom.
And after all this good work, time invested in this relationship and slowly letting go of the delusional thought of ever getting together with him he invited you over one evening.
You thought that it's gonna be another casual hang out session. you were expecting a glass of whiskey, a chat, maybe a game on his xbox. but you weren't ready for when his hand travelled up your arm and over your shoulder, bringing your mouth closer to his.
you dont know if it was the alcohol or awakened desir but you gave in that night. that was the bane of your existance and you were pretty sure you're gonna rot in hell after this. turned out maybe you weren't so over-it as you thought.
Standing in your dimly lit bathroom, you were staring into the eyes of the sinner. Why do all good things have to end in a disaster? How the hell are you supposed to look him in the eye now? The event took place two weeks ago, and since then you only spammed him with messages via app—zero in-person contact. Your stomach was doing another cartwheel as you grabbed your toothbrush and started to count to 60. Only the dumbest things could be your salvation now.
After making it clear this day was a lost cause, you got yourself together and jumped into the fire willingly. The road to the studio was like waiting in the longest queue ever. You felt like you were going in the opposite direction. The desire to turn back appeared in your head every five minutes, but the worst feeling alive was greater than that. And so you got to the studio in time.
Going through the main entrance felt like stepping through the gates of hell. You made your way through the hallway and into the elevator. You watched as the red number on the little screen was getting dangerously close to 6. The doors opened, and here you were—in front of the dance practice room.
You could feel your throat tightening at the thought of going there. For a moment, you lost your mindless, unapologetic facade and began to spiral again, thinking about how Gunwook would look at you after entering the room. A huge part of you wanted him to gulp at the sight of you, to crumble down like he was struck by an unimaginable force. Maybe you just wanted to have control over him for a moment. Maybe you needed a power play and to be on the winning side this time. You laid eyes on a group of boys spread across the wooden floor of the dance studio. Scanning the area, you saw their manager, some familiar makeup artists, and of course all of the members, and lastly—Gunwook. Your eyes stopped on him for a split second. Instantly, you felt a heat wave creeping up your face. You greeted all of them and sat next to the manager to discuss the details of today’s schedule.
“I would like to start with the pre-chorus and chorus since I think it will take the longest to master the steps and combine them later with singing,” the manager stated, showing you the video sample you sent them some time ago.
“Right, and have you decided the parts yet?” you asked, checking your shoelaces.
“Yes, we will send you the updated line distribution today. We made some small changes. What you need to know for today is the pre-chorus is Gunwook’s center part, then the chorus is Matthew and Jiwoong.”
You stopped listening after the “Gunwook’s center.” You’re screwed. You have to be here for another five to six hours at least, and in this time all of your attention will be devoted to the guy who has been ghosting you for the past two weeks. Throughout the rest of the conversation, your focus was split in half, as part of you was constantly pondering how the hell you would be able to teach them this damn pre-chorus.
After going over everything with the manager, the proper rehearsal began.
You felt as if everyone in the room could feel your tense spirit today. Like you looked more uptight, or your way of speaking to them was more formal and aloof. You tried your best to hide it, but you believed deeply they could all read your disguise easily. Especially Gunwook. Now, when you finally got to see him in person after all of this tension between you two, you swore he was avoiding any eye contact with you on purpose. Too bad today you were supposed to do his part in the song.
“All right, everyone, let’s gather up here,” you called them over. “We will have to go over everyone’s position now, because there’s a lot going on.”
You started to explain, bit by bit, every move of the pre-chorus. There was a lot of floor work, some difficult formations, but all in all it went smoothly. Until it was time for the greatest showman.
“Okay, Wook, so I actually want you to not just walk between everyone but—and it’s an example, so feel free to change anything you want—do some steps from where you are to the center of the stage, then stop and do something like this.” You proceeded to show the movement you wanted him to achieve, covering your eyes and then sliding them down your body.
You were honestly surprised you managed to sound so professional while being this uncomfortable around him.
Without a word, he tried to mirror your moves. You watched silently as he tried to recreate your combination, but you could easily see where he added his charm. You just knew him that well. Inside, you were pissed that they decided to come up with a sexy concept this comeback. That way, you had to see him sensually bending his head back and sliding his hands down his hips.
“Yeah, let’s keep that—it was cool,” you said sheepishly.
You hated yourself for the way you still swooned over those kinds of things. How you found him so mesmerizing despite all the damage he’d done. You should be ashamed of yourself, but unfortunately you were too invested in eyeing Gunwook up and down like a predator its prey.
You had always admired his dancing skill and style of movement. It was sharp and precise, yet seemed so free and careless. You hoped his personality wouldn’t mirror these characteristics.
You were secretly begging for him to care, to give you a sign that he too was overwhelmed this whole time—with regret, thoughts, anything really. And you were actively looking for it when you decided it was time to show them the main chorus.
“All right, so now it’s Jiwoong’s part, and I want you guys to do this combination. Gunwook, stand in front of me,” you instructed.
Without uttering a word, he did what he was told.
“Since Woongie’s going to be behind you, I wanted him to cover your eyes with his hand, and now everybody will be sliding to their knees, so he will be going like this.” You proceeded to put your hand over Gunwook’s eyes.
“M’kay, now, down.” Your other hand traveled to his shoulder, guiding his body to the floor.
You ended up still standing behind him and him kneeling down in front of you. And of all the moves you had already practiced, it was this pose when he decided to look you in the eye.
You froze when you saw his gaze in the mirror. He was looking directly at you, his head hanging low and tilted slightly to the side, black strands of hair falling softly on his forehead and ever so gently into his eyes. His eyes were pleading, apologetic even. Your breath hitched in your throat. He looked exactly how you wanted him to be—pitiful and pathetic. But the shadow of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips was breaking this ice-thin illusion. You couldn’t tell, though, if it was cynical or honest. The mind game was still on, and that ticked you off.
Instantly, you broke eye contact and went over to Jiwoong, abandoning him on the floor. What you failed to notice was his longing gaze following your every step.
You knew this dance practice was going to be screwed by you after this incident, so you simply tried your best to teach them as much of the chorus choreo as time allowed and flee. You were avoiding Gunwook’s eyes for the rest of the lesson.
After everyone thanked you and said their goodbyes, you quickly grabbed your things, stuffed them clumsily into your bag, and bolted out of the room. You really hoped it wouldn’t come to running out of the studio, so without a look back, you walked as fast as you could to the elevator. Stepping in, you pressed the “0” button, and as a sigh of relief left your mouth at the sight of the closing doors, suddenly a white Nike sneaker blocked the door.
You knew instantly who it was.
The door moved back, revealing a tall silhouette with hands in the pockets of his grey sweatshirt and black hair framing his face too perfectly considering the fact he had just finished a dance practice.
Gunwook swiftly moved inside, and before you could run for your life, the door shut and you got stuck in the elevator with the guy who had been ghosting you for two weeks.
The air got thicker, and not in the way it was back then. Now it was way more “tension” and way less “sexual” part. You swore you were going to suffocate in a minute or two.
The ride was painfully slow. You knew you wouldn’t be able to even mutter one word to him, but you had great hopes he would finally start the conversation. You were honestly self-conscious, having texted him multiple times before. It seemed like only you were seeking out contact, and you wanted a sign. That’s why you agreed with yourself—under no circumstances would you be the first one to speak. It was his chance to work things out with you.
But the numbers were getting lower and lower, and it seemed like Gunwook wasn’t even thinking about talking to you.
You started to wonder why he had even decided to take a ride with you all of a sudden. He had to know you were here. He probably left the room right after you did. So why on earth was he not making a move right now?
To your disappointment, the elevator stopped abruptly and the door slid open.
So that’s it. Now only the corridor was left for you two to try and solve everything that had been going on. Only the hallway was keeping you away from going on with your lives and going back to the state of the most awkward situationship.
He stepped out of the lift first. You watched his back as he was getting harder and harder to catch, leaving you behind.
You couldn’t believe it. He really did all of this for his entertainment. You were sure now he took great pleasure in toying with you.
The rage set in. You really didn’t take him for this kind of a fucker.
Following his steps, you could feel a ball of shame and anger in your throat. Slowly, fury was mixing with sadness, and you wanted to kill him and hug him at the same time. You couldn’t understand how, after all of this, he was willing to just abandon you and go back to pretending. It wasn’t like you meant nothing to him, right? You shared some truly touching moments, could feel you had a connection. Why was he ready to throw it all away like that?
And why were you letting him? Why were you not speaking up?
With much force, he pushed the front door open so much so that you managed to slide outside shortly after him. The cold air hit your face. At this hour, the sky had already gotten dark, and the only light surrounding you was coming from the lights of the apartments in the blocks above you, the street shops, and lampposts.
You caught him heading somewhere—the opposite direction from yours. It wasn’t too late; maybe he could still hear you if you called out his name. You were never the punctual type, but maybe today your timing would be perfect.
“I don’t know why you’re doing this, but you need to stop,” the words spilled from your mouth faster than you could process them.
He stopped in his tracks, turned ever so slightly in your direction. You could hardly see him, so you missed the anticipation in his eyes, the glint of awaiting another punch line.
“You have no right to play with me like that. I saw what you did during today’s lesson, and I’m honestly impressed with your boldness. Didn’t take you for this kind of a fucker.” You were getting harsher with every word, but if that was going to be your last time speaking to him, you wanted to make it memorable for him.
“I just cannot understand how you can go about your life for two weeks despite what happened between us. I seriously hoped you were mature enough to talk to me about this, but it seems you’d rather act like a coward. I really hoped that at any point in your life I meant something to you—anything. That I’m not just a plaything, which, by the way, is so disgusting to me.” Normally you would be pacing around by now, but instead you stood still as a rock, not even flinching from the low temperature or the coldness of your tone.
“I really thought that after all this time I had some worth in your eyes and I’m not just an easy goal for your enormous ego. You were someone trustworthy for me, Wook. But if it’s really that simple for you to toy with me for a while and then throw me away, I beg of you—treat me like a stranger. I want to be nobody to you again. Let’s just end things between us right here and now and never speak to each other again besides work. I want nothing to do with you.”
The last part hurt like hell. You didn’t know you were capable of such a strong comeback, but what needed to be said was said, and you finally stood your ground. You could finally forget about the endless messages, constant guilt and awkwardness, sleepless nights. You took a deeper breath, feeling the weight of your horrifying situationship being lifted from your shoulders.
That was until you saw him walking your way.
You didn’t realize you had started to hold your breath. He approached you rapidly and without a word. His hands flew to your shoulders like a magnet, and in a moment he grasped you tightly, with both hands on each side, looking you dead in the eye.
There was a second of silence lingering around both of you until finally you heard his voice again after two whole weeks.
“Excuse me?” you asked, confusion very much audible in your tone. That was the first thing he had prepared after you just came down on him?
“I swear I will try and explain myself later, but right now I really need to kiss you,” he pleaded. The guilt in his eyes made your head spin faster and faster. You thought this must be some kind of sick joke of his but were too dumbfounded to analyze it.
“Yeah—” you replied faintly, your voice cracking midway, even though it wasn’t even a full sentence.
You doubted he even heard you clearly. He probably just made out the answer, half based on his own wish, half on his instinct, because as you were responding, his lips were already millimeters away from yours. He cut you off, smashing them against yours at a cruel pace. It felt as if everything stopped. The world went quiet, the lights dimmed down. You could feel yourself melting into his touch, warmth, desire—all of him. It was so wrong to be getting played like that yet again, but for the last time, you thought you deserved it. No matter how bad it may seem, it tasted good. Nearly like a victory, if it wasn’t for the fact it was you who had been pining for him all this time. In this moment, he finally wanted you, and not the other way around.
He pulled away after what felt like a lifetime, with a gasp, as if he had just given away all his soul with this one kiss.
“I know you want to hear it, so I promise I’ll make it worth the wait,” he started.
You were honestly surprised at how he already knew you wanted an explanation.
“I honestly don’t know if you ever thought about it or if you’re going to forgive me in the future, but you need to know that you were on my mind all the time for these past few weeks. I know I screwed up, and not even trying to talk to you about it was the worst thing I could do, but you need to believe I’ve always wanted to do everything right. After that night, I got so scared that things went too quickly for you, that you did it for some other reason than liking me, and I completely shut up. Quite literally. I didn't replied to your messages because honestly I didn’t know how I wanted this to unfold. I didn’t know what to say to you, so I chose the worst-case scenario. It hurt, but I’ve never been in a situation like this before, so I was probably as lost and confused as you. But that doesn’t clear my image whatsoever, and I am aware of that." his hand found his black hair, going through them in a tensed manner.
"My point is, I’m sorry. I know I treated you like shit when I’m the shitty one here. Just know that today I wasn’t trying to tick you off or anything. I just hoped you’d show me the direction where all of this will go and how you want to keep things between us. I really didn’t want to be a burden and simply accept whatever you want us to be, even if it means forgetting everything about you. If that’s what you want, then I’ll do it. I can do it for you.”
You didn’t catch the moment your mouth fell slightly open. Your head was spinning as if you were drunk. You definitely felt that way, and so you had much trouble realizing that this was happening for real. You would never assume that Park Gunwook could be such a yearner.
Your gaze fell to your feet. You were overwhelmed, to say the least. Was it all because he was giving you space then? You never wanted him to, but it came out of respect, you assumed. The trap of your own feelings was getting smaller and smaller, and you were slowly starting to suffocate again. In all of the possible scenarios and conversations you two could have had, you had never predicted the one in which you’re the decisive one. You wondered whether you would be able to find the connection again after all of this.
“Gunwook, I…” you started but immediately gave up. You thought that if you said anything, then maybe you would actually come up with something coherent along the way, but there was nothing. He caught you completely off guard.
But you appreciated every word of his. Gunwook wasn’t the type to make empty promises. At heart, he was a noble man, and of that you were sure. Maybe that’s what tipped the scale back then.
“I think I want to try again,” you finally admitted. You would be lying if you said he wasn’t your type. After all, he was your long-time crush, and while you knew you two getting to bed wasn’t a perfect idea, it was bliss after all. You loved pursuing him. He was enchanting in all sorts of ways. You loved doing things with him that you normally despised, like small talk, cleaning, or eating in public. More so, you could never get tired of him. When you thought you had finally gotten to know him fully, he always surprised you—like in this moment, for example.
“I still hold a grudge about what you did, but I can’t imagine throwing all of us away. I guess we were both clueless...” The last part you practically muttered under your breath. There weren’t many words in which you could describe enough what you were feeling through the past two weeks, but honestly, Gunwook won you over with this one. You were both young and still figuring out everything—relationships being one of them.
“I’m really glad, because the past few weeks it’s been weighing me down a lot, you know… all of this. Mainly my part, but still. I really want you back, I hope you believe me.” His hands started fidgeting, as more words slipped from his mouth, each one softer and more innocent than the previous one. It started to become clearer that he was far from tricking you.
Coming up to him, you enveloped Gunwook in your arms.
“I want you back too. I can’t imagine going back to never meeting you.” Standing on your tiptoes, you were able to whisper it upon his ear. His big hands landed softly on your waist, pulling you closer.
If only he could, he would melt into your touch, your skin—you, basically.
The buzzing street made a great soundtrack for this whole scene. You could swear that’s how it would feel to be in a romantic comedy. Not many special effects, only the main couple standing in the middle of a crowded space, surrounded by different people, stories from all over the world, and pure chaos—but their focus remained untouched.
“How will I ever pay for everything I did to you?” Moving a bit away, he turned his head to meet your eyes, his hand cupping your cheek in the sweetest manner. A shadow of an innocent smile started to creep up his face. You reciprocated it tenfold.
“You can start by taking me out somewhere nice?” you proposed cockily. Feeling his warm touch near your cheek made your stomach do flips and cartwheels, all while trying to hold it together on the outside and not immediately melt into a puddle.
“You sure know how to maneuver a man.” Gunwook’s brow furrowed, but his eyes were full of playful sparkles.
“Oh, it is only the beginning,” you sighed, faking worry as his hands tightened around your waist.
