legal line on what positions they would take you in 𤤠or any member would be fine too!
cw unprotected p in v sex, breeding kink, mentions of babies, creampies, squirting, overstimulation, size kink, strength king, backshots, clit play, nipple play, a couple of spanks, implications of oral (f!receiving), multiple orgasms, implications of cockwarming, belly bulge 18+ MDNI
âď¸ sorry if I got any of the position names wrong! also, they're all pretty basic positions, but I didn't want to go too crazy with them for this ask lol! thanks for the awesome thought anonie
ă ¤ âŻâŻă ¤ điwoong ďšđ´.ďš
legs over his shoulders
Jiwoong is a very intense and intimate lover, so he usually wants to get as close to you as possible. This position is the easiest way for him to do that, with how youâre practically folded in half and exposed to him while he can still lean his face down as close to yours as possible. Those are really the only two things he needs. That way, heâs able to kiss you, to watch you fall apart, and to be able to get as deep inside of you as possible.Â
âCâmon, darling, legs up,â Jiwoong breathes as he adjusts his position on his knees one more time, the movement making the tip of his dick brush against that spot in you that makes you see stars. You gasp sharply, back arching as you try to make sense of his words. The thickness of his cock never failed to stretch your cunt so wonderfully, like he was splitting you in two. He lets out a small sigh, his hands finding your thighs as he practically folds you in half, a small scream leaving you at how deep he is now. âDonât mind doing everything myself, but didnât realize that you were already so fucked out, darling.â
As if he were faring any better. The way your cunt clenched down around him, your juices spilling out around where he stretched your interest practically had his eyes rolling back in his head. And now, with you in this positionâhis hands guiding your calves over his shoulders, he could see everything. No wonder it always took so long to ease his length into you, your hole was fucking tiny. It would always make room for his cock though, with the way it was practically molded to fit him. Jiwoong rests his elbows on either side of your head, his nose now brushing against yours.Â
âSâdeepââ
He shushes you softly, one of his hands coming down to feel the bulge in your abdomen. The pressure has you whining even louder, and Jiwoong loves how heâs able to see everything while still being so close to you. âI know, darling. I know.â
ă ¤ âŻâŻă ¤ đao ďšđ.ďš
cowgirl, but heâs sitting up too (think itâs called the lotus?)
Hao is a pillow princess. Or like⌠semi-pillow princess on your usual sex sessions. Like a power bottom in a way. Part of it is because he still wants to be able to boss you around without doing too much work, but also because he likes watching you lose yourself to the pleasure. He likes watching you take how you feel into your own hands as you bounce on his dick with the utmost intensity. What makes things even better, though, is when heâs still able to be close to you. He likes feeling your heartbeat and the way your breaths quicken as you get closer to cumming, so his preferred position still includes him being chest to chest with you.
You were falling apart quicker than usual tonight. Hao could tell by the way your nails dug into the skin of his shoulders and how youâd succumbed to the feeling of keeping almost the entirety of his dick inside of you. Now, you were just barely lifting up before sinking back down to the base. With a small huff, his hand comes down to lightly hit your thigh, making you yelp. âOh, please. I didnât even hit you that hard,â he mumbles, eyes half-lidded as your hands move to hold onto the sides of his neck. âYou close?â
âYes,â you breathe, eyes locked onto his as you keep working your hips over him, riding him like your life depended on it. The friction against your clit from grinding against his pubic bone every time you took his whole length had you teetering right on the edge.Â
âShouldnât even let you cum. Mânot even close.â It was a lie, but Hao felt like giving you a hard time, especially since it meant you would bounce up and down on his cock even harder. A loud groan leaves him. âOhââ Your cunt clenches around him, the slick sounds of your pussy making his eyes snap open a little wider, not wanting to miss the sight of you falling over the edge. A sight that he would watch over and over again. âSuch a good girl⌠Go ahead.â
And with that, your body is tensing above his, your head falling forward to hide in his neck as your hips jerk against his. Your nails drag down his chest as you cry out his name, making Hao such in a sharp breath from the minimal pain. He holds you tightly against his chest as you finish riding out your high, only for his hips to snap up again. Because once was never enough for him.
ă ¤ âŻâŻă ¤ đanbin ďšđź.ďš
missionary
Hanbinâs definitely a missionary guy. Thereâs something so appealing to him about how the position is so intimate and is something reserved for more romantic couples. He likes feeling truly connected with you during sex, and this position only reassures that craving. Because having you under himâhaving you feeling like you need him to get off in the way he needs you shows him just how deep (no pun intended) of a connection the two of you have. That, and his breeding kink comes into play here. The thought of him being able to fuck a baby into you in such a loving position, his lips on yours as your legs wrap around his waist is his dirtiest and favorite fantasy.Â
The sloppy sounds of Hanbinâs dick drilling into your sopping pussy fill your shared bedroomâpractically music to his ears. That, along with your moans. âThere! Right thereâ God, youâre so big,â you whine, only spurring him on further. Hanbin knows heâs big, and the thought of him being right there next to your womb due to being in missionary is everything he needs to feel like could cum right then and there.
âYeah⌠Your pussyâs practically begging for my cum. Yâhear her? Hear how bad she wants to be filled up?â You moan in response, a small smile twitching at the corners of Hanbinâs lips. And when your legs wrap around his waist, your moans only get louder, a result of him hitting deeper inside of you, of course. âLove you,â he pants.Â
It was easy for him to feel overwhelmed in these moments. When he was completely consumed by you in every way. âL-Love you,â you somehow manage to respond. When his pretty brown eyes find yours, he can see the desperation in them. The need for him, the same need thatâs aching in his chest, and the love. Hanbin canât help it as he leans down to kiss you, his lips crashing over yours as he feels you cum from the declarations of love. And heâs right there with you, but for a different reason.Â
âGonna love to see you pregnant with my baby tooâŚâ
ă ¤ âŻâŻă ¤ đatthew ďšđź.ďš
backshots / bending you over something
LOVES hitting it from the back. In my opinion, Matthew is such an ass guy, and this definitely influences his favorite sex position. He likes manhandling you into those positions: where your ass is up and youâre face down. Whether thatâs over the back of the couch or on the dining room table or in bed, he doesnât really care. As long as heâs able to make you scream by how deep heâs hittingâanother perk of this position. He fucks rough, and he can really let loose when heâs hitting it from the back.Â
His hand almost covers the expanse of your lower back as he forces you down onto your hands and knees, the sudden change of positions making your arms bend and sending your face into the pillows. Matthew chuckles softly at the small yelp that leaves you. âLook at you⌠So fucking pretty.â He punctuates his sentence with a small smack on the meat of your ass, gripping the cheek to jiggle it softly before heâs pulling them apart to reveal your dripping hole. âReady?â
You turn your head to the side so heâs able to hear you clearly. âMâready. Need you, Matt.â
And hearing those words for you never got old.
Matthew slowly eases his thick cock into you, knowing the slight curve to the left always brushed against your most sensitive spot when he was all the way inside. And once heâs sure that youâre adjusted, heâs going from 0 to 100. His hips meet your ass roughly as he pounds into you, his hands gripping your hips to both pull you back against him and to keep you from squirming away. Because youâre screaming, your arms going weak as your eyes roll back.Â
âFeel me?â
âYes, I fucking feel you!â you cry out like itâs the most obvious thing in the world. Matthew chuckles, angling his hips to make each of his thrusts deeper, making sure your pussy would really feel everything he had to offer. His balls smack against your clit with every thrust, strings of your wetness sticking to them, and the rough sensations have you reeling.Â
Everything about this was perfect. For both you and him.
ă ¤ âŻâŻă ¤ đŁaerae ďšđ´.ďš
cowgirl
Taerae likes watching. Likes watching you do everything you do in day-to-day life. And that includes taking his cock. I think that Taerae would prefer cowgirl for some of the same reasons Hao doesânamely, you being able to take control of your own pleasure because thatâs ultimately what heâs doing this for: to make you feel good. And Taerae has a thick cock. Like, leaves your hole gaping after yâall are done fucking big. So, you being on top helps you manage that a little better as well. Plus, Taerae loves watching your tits bounce when you ride him.
Sweat gleams on your skin as your hands rest on his chest, a way for you to balance yourself as you ride him slowly. Maybe itâs wrong for him to enjoy seeing the way you struggle to accommodate his size, but Taerae canât find it in himself to care at the moment. And your head feels dizzy even when youâre working over him so slowly. Thankfully your pussy was soaked. Both with your juices and with his spit, making it easy for you to bounce up and down.
Youâre taking your time, and Taerae loves how youâre teasing him without even realizing it. He reaches up, rolling one of your sensitive nipples between his fingers and making your hips jerk. âYouâve taken it before, but youâre enjoying it tonight, hmm?âÂ
âS-Shut up,â you whine, increasing your pace just a little bit at his teasingly, and your tits bounce a little more with your harsher movements. Taerae watches as you roll your hips, feeling the way your pussy greedily sucks at his cock, and he almost feels bad for making you do all of this on your own. But it was so much more satisfying this way. For both you and him.
He chuckles softly, letting go of your nipple, settling back further against his pillows as he prepares to just lie back and enjoy the show. You almost want to complain at the way he tucks his hands behind his head like the way your cunt milking his cock isnât affecting him. âIâll shut up and youâll ride then.â
ă ¤ âŻâŻă ¤ đĄicky ďšđź.ďš
standing
Having sex standing up is just so much better in Rickyâs opinion. He isnât sure if itâs because he likes using his strength on you in a minimal way, or if itâs because his dick is so good that your knees quite literally give out because of it. He thinks that standing sex makes things feel so much better too. Like your pussy feels so much tighter when he has your front pinned against a wall as he fucks you, and how he can tell by the expression on your face when you cum that the orgasm feels so much more intense.
âFeels weird!â you cry, nails digging into his forearm as Ricky keeps his arms wrapped tightly around your middle. You squirm a little at the pressure, but Ricky does it for the sake of making sure you donât fall to the floor. And while it might feel a little weird, he knew that it was only the pleasure consuming you as his cock kissed your cervix with each thrust. Your pussy flutters around his base again as he shallowly fucks into you.
Ricky pants against your neck, pausing his efforts of marking you as well as slowing his movements. âGood weird or bad weirdââ
âNo, no, donât stop!â And that was enough of an answer for him. Ricky picks up the pace again, one of his hands coming to toy with your clit as you feel your knees tremble from the added sensation. âOh!â
His biceps have gotten so much bigger lately, and his subtle ways of showing them off have been leaving you feeling dizzy. This was no exception, and you couldnât wait to see the way the marks your nails left on his skin would look with his new muscles. Rickyâs nose nudges your jaw, prompting you to turn your head to the side, only for his lips to meet yours.
Similar to how his cock fucks into you, his tongue pushes inside your mouth, and you canât hold your orgasm back anymore. The sounds of your release hitting the floor has you gasping against his lips, oversensitivity kicking in as Rickyâs fingers lightly circle your clit through the orgasm. Turns out, that weird feeling was your pussy getting ready to squirt from how good it felt to be fucked standing up.
ă ¤ âŻâŻă ¤ đyuvin ďšđ´.ďš
mating press
Starting this one off with the obvious: Gyuvin is huge. No doubt about it. And who is he to waste his size if not in a position where youâre going to feel everything. Being able to pin you down is one of the things that makes the mating press position so appealing to Gyuvinâkeeping your knees back by your tits just by leaning the weight of his chest over you. It was his way of making sure you couldnât run away from the pleasure. You just had to lie there and take it.
Sex with Gyuvin is messy. Even more so when he has you so exposed like this. Both of you have already orgasmed at least once (you more than he), but neither of you wants to stop. His thick cock parts your folds in a stretch that you still struggled to believe was real sometimes, as his tip abuses a spot inside of you that has you seeing entire galaxies. His cum and yours leaks out around his cock, a creamy, white ring forming around the base.
âO-Oh, fuck,â Gyuvin groans as another spurt of pre-cum shoots out into your cunt, only adding to the wetness between your thighs. The feeling has you squirming, your hips trying to escape despite wanting more. Thankfully, though, Gyuvin knows this. His hands come to your thighs, folding them up to your chest to pin you down.Â
The expression of how much bigger he is than you has a rush of warmth going through your overstimulated nerves. âYou drive me crazy,â he breathes, face coming down to hide in your neck. âI feel like itâs never enough, I just need more all of the time, and I feel insaneââ
âMe too,â you pant out, trying to sound reassuring, but it sounds more meek than anything. A result of being fucked out of your mind. âWant more of youâ So cum in me again.â
ă ¤ âŻâŻă ¤ đunwook ďšđš.ďš
spooning
I literally have such a hard time picturing Gunwook as anything other than a soft lover, so I think that the spooning position is so perfect for him. Like this position is so incredibly intimate, and thatâs all he ever wants to feel with you. He wants to feel like youâre the only person in the world, and he wants you to feel the same thing towards him. So, he tries to consume all of your senses through fucking you like this. Because when heâs mouthing at your neck while one of his big hands rests over the bulge of his dick in your belly, itâs hard to think of anything else except for him.
âIâm tired, Wook,â you mumble, but your boyfriendâs being stubborn tonight. That much is clear by the way he rolls over in bed, his body cuddling up closely behind yours. You try to ignore the very obvious bulge in his pajama pants. âWe need to sleep.â
âIâll be quick. Promise.âÂ
And before you know it, Gunwookâs lazily fucking into you, your thighs parted just enough to let him between them. Your thighs rub together, causing your folds to rub your clit in a way that has you keening softly. That, and the heat of Gunwookâs mouth against the sensitive skin of your neck is only making your body sink further into the mattress.
Steady waves of pleasure go over the both of you, making this feel like so much more than getting off quickly. It feels like your souls are truly intertwined with the way heâs weakly fucking into you, breathing in your scent and panting your name. His words mirroring his thoughts.
âNeed you like this every night. Need to show you how much I love you.â You want to tell him that you already know how much he loves you. He shows you everyday, but heâs fucking you so good and so lazily that everything just feels so much deeper. âYouâll let me stay in after Iâm done, right?â
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n. n. n. - race to the finish line: november 30th âËâĄ
n. n. n. (a ltd. series) masterlist
general masterlist
âË⥠wc: 5.8k (both gyuvin AND hanbin's stories)
âË⥠reader: gender neutral; all inclusive. NO pronouns used to refer to reader (not even they/them)
âË⥠warnings: 18+ explicit smut; MINORS DNI!!!! specific smut warnings for this chapter are located under the cut. hanbin and gyuvin fight pretty fiercely for the title in this and probably cross some boundaries they shouldn't but it works out in the end lol
âË⥠summary: hanbin and gyuvin vow to fight to the death to be crowned the winner of no nut november. (y/n) is just along for the ride!
âË⥠series summary: eight idiots make a bet amongst themselves to win no nut november. get ready for a very interesting month!
OH MY GOD. this is the best chapter of this whole series, no joke. it was so much fun writing. i love to write about member dynamics and be funny and this was just a blast. also hidden icarly and twilight references in here, js. this chapter goes between both hanbin and gyuvin's individual stories, that's why it's so long. it's two in one. at the end of the chapter please click the link (i made the post private so no one gets spoiled, so you have to use the link) to find out who won!!! and a little epilogue too. i love y'all, thanks for your patience and, as always, for reading and letting me know what you thought <3
EXPLICIT 18+ SMUT WARNINGS: gyuvin: penetrative sex (gyuvin penetrating reader), a little degredation never hurt nobody; hanbin: penetrative sex (hanbin penetrating reader), just a teeeeensy bit of degredation idk i was in a mood. some angst and lottttts of swearing and inappropriate jokes. may the best man win!!
in every direction hanbin turns, heâs surrounded.Â
by sex-havers.Â
matthew is watching a tiktok on his phone with taerae in the corner. gunwook (who recently made it official with the new barista at the coffee shop down the street) is helping jiwoong and ricky with one of the more complicated moves of the choreography for zb1âs upcoming single release. hao is sprawled out on the floor, studying the lyrics for the entire EP.
disgusting, hanbin thinks. depraved sinners who have no self-control.Â
how badly he wishes to be them. if it was physically possible, hanbin would be turning green. and, while weâre on the subject, hanbin did, in fact, end up seeing wicked: for good with hao, and they did, in fact, fight about which one of them was glinda and which one of them was elphaba well into the night.
jealousy festers in hanbin like an infection. heâs never felt rage come on so easily in his life as he has the past week or so. the pent-up testosterone is really doing a number on him. heâs frightened himself on several occasions with how much some of his fleeting thoughts have sounded like a rise-and-grind, alpha bro podcaster and not himself.
these feeble, fragile creatures, hanbin thinks as he watches the sex-havers exist in ignorant bliss. giving into their animalistic desires. if theyâre such animals, i wonder how easily i could killâ
âah, hyung!â gyuvin says, appearing suddenly right in front of hanbin as if by magic. heâs holding an ice cream bar and smiling. âwhatcha dooooooinâ?â
âjesus,â hanbin breathes, his hand flying up to grip his chest. âyou fucking scared me.â
gyuvin smiles wider. âhyung, iâve never heard you swear so much.â
âif you donât wipe that fucking grin off yourâ,â hanbin starts to threaten, but gyuvin suddenly shoves a second ice cream bar between his lips before he can finish.Â
âeat this,â gyuvin says, taking hanbinâs hand and wrapping it around the stick of the ice cream bar. âitâll take the edge off.â
hanbin takes in the flavor, realizing itâs banana cream before pulling it out of his mouth. âyou just shoved a banana cream-flavored, phallic-shaped popsicle into my mouth.â
âcorrect,â gyuvin agrees simply.
hanbin eyes him in wonder. âjust last week you wouldâve been banging your head into the door at the mention of just one of those words.â
gyuvin nods. âyouâre right.â
hanbin sighs. âhow?â
âwell, once you embrace your sexlessness, you can be freed. when you admit it holds no power over youâ when you bask in its absence and let go of all of your earthly needs,â gyuvin says thoughtfully, taking another lick of his ice cream. âthen and only then can you conquerâ.â
âHOW!? HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS!?â hanbin yells desperately, both hands (after throwing his ice cream to the ground) gripping gyuvinâs shoulders and shaking him violently back in forth. âI DONâT NEED YOUR SPIRITUAL MUMBO JUMBO I NEED ANSWERS BUDDY. AND YOU ARE GOING TO GIVE THEM TO ME OR I AM GOING TO SHOVE MYâ.â
âoh, oh, okay, okay, oh, okay, um, okay,â gyuvin manages to squeak out while being ragdolled around by the leader of zb1. he looks over at the rest of the members, eyes wide as he asks, âis anybody gonna help me or?â
âno,â they all (including yujin, who just got out of school) say calmly at once.
âhyung, hyung, listen to me,â gyuvin pleads, managing to free himself from hanbinâs grasp. âwe have five hours left! we can do this.â
â... we?â hanbin asks, one brow piquing in curiosity.Â
gyuvin shrugs. âwe didnât make any rules that said two people arenât allowed to win.â
âoh shit, heâs right,â matthew says quietly from the corner of the room. âwhat do we do if they both win?â
âwe could extend the bet,â ricky says with an evil grin. âlast man standing.â
âi guess we could send them both on the trip, but that would be more expensive than we anticipated,â taerae ponders.
âthatâs trueâ weâre not made of money,â jiwoong agrees. âand i have a wedding to save for.â
âmaybe they could both go on the trip so long as they agree to share the same hotel room,â gunwook suggests with a shrug.
âthen itâs settled,â hao says with a smirk. âin the event of a tie, the prize for no nut november is a romantic getaway for two. two members of zerobaseone.â
âi mean, itâs a little nauseating, but,â gyuvin considers with a nod. âi guess itâs fair. where do you wanna go for our romantic getaway then, hyung? iâm kind of thinking fiji, but, by all means, if youâ.â
âi will destroy you,â hanbin says quietly, the room falling silent as he stares at his feet. âi will grind your bones to make my bread.â
âokay, what the fuck?â gyuvin asks incredulously. âam i seriously that bad of travel buddy?â
hanbin shakes his head. âweâve come too far to end this in friendship. someone has to die.â
âDIE!? hyung, do you have testosterone poisoning or something? youâ,â gyuvin tries to reason with his older friend but he stops when hanbin pulls something out of his pocket. itâs a tube of white frosting. hanbin flips open the cap, beginning to squeeze out the suggestive-looking frosting sensually into the palm of his hand. gyuvin stares at it, wide-eyed, a bead of sweat beginning to form on his forehead. â... stop.â
âyou may have fooled yourself, gyubinnie, but you canât fool me,â hanbin says, continuing to squeeze out the frosting as gyuvinâs expression becomes more and more strained as he watches all too intently the quasi-pornographic display. âi know who you really are.â
âsay it,â gyuvin growls, stepping closer to hanbin in challenge. âout loud.â
hanbin closes the distance, his nose almost touching gyuvinâs. âsex. maniac.â
âwait, are they gonna kiss?â taerae whispers from the other side of the room.
âwouldnât be the first time,â matthew says annoyedly.
gyuvin snatches the tube of frosting from hanbinâs hand, aims it into his mouth, and squeezes the rest of its contents down his throat, all while making direct eye contact with the deliriously strung-out leader of zerobaseone. when heâs done, he shoves it back into hanbinâs hand. âyouâre going the FUCK down. bitch.â
hanbin gasps, hand to his mouth like a scandalized schoolgirl. âNO, YOU!â
âNO, YOU!â gyuvin yells back at him with a pointed finger. âyouâll rue this day.â
the younger boy storms off to the door of the practice room, throwing it open angrily and, before exiting, he looks back one more time to yell, âRUE IT!â
âËâĄ
itâs now 10:30pm and hanbin hasnât heard a peep from gyuvin since he stormed out at the end of rehearsal a few hours ago. itâs eerie.
itâs unnerving.
he opens the door to his dorm, expecting gyuvin to ambush him on his way inside with some sort of sellacious trick. but much to his surprise, the dorm is quiet, with only the sound of the tv playing from the shared living room. he hangs his coat up by the door and removes his shoes, popping on some slippers and cautiously making his way down the hallway.Â
hanbin peaks around the corner carefully, seeing gyuvin and hao sitting on the couch together watching a movie. he steps out fully, the entirety of the couch now in his line of sight. and what he sees shakes him to his core.
âSURPRISE!â you shout from your hidden spot on the couch, pulling the string of a mini confetti cannon as hanbin stares back at you in shock.Â
â(y/n),â he says softly, eyes wide as he tries to make sense of your sudden appearance in his dorm. âwâ... what are you doing here?â
you frown at his blatant lack of excitement. âiâm visiting my boyfriend after spending three months abroad?â
âiâ... iâ...â he stutters, several large conflicting thoughts running through his mind at once. hanbin is thrilled to see you. any other day, he would die for the chance to hold you in person. but today⌠with only three hours left on the clock. with gyuvin on the couch next to you, chowing down on popcorn without a care in the world⌠couldnât you have waited until tomorrow? âi love you. i love you so much, baby. iâm just⌠iâm just SO surprisedâ you really pulled this off!â
âwell, you have hao and gyubinnie to thank for that,â you say with a smile, reaching into gyuvinâs popcorn bowl. both hao and gyuvinâs eyes widen, an unchewed piece of popcorn falling from gyuvinâs mouth as his lips part, realizing theyâve been caught. âthey called me a few hours ago and said youâd been having a really hard time with your comeback coming up and that it would help if i came to spend some time with you. so i came as soon as i could!â
the testosterone-filled rage that is burning inside of hanbin is almost impossible to conceal. but he tries. a mechanic grin turning up the corners of his mouth, hanbin turns his attention to the two fucking idiots next to you. âdid they really?â
gyuvin looks up at the ceiling, and hao looks down at his lap.
âyeah!â you confirm happily. âthey even paid for my flight.â
âwell, well,â hanbin says, shaking his head back and forth as his maniacal grin remains plastered on his face. âarenât they just a couple of fucking peaches?â
you blink at hanbin. âokay, what the fuck is going on here?â
ânothing!â hanbin denies quickly, finally walking over to you and wrapping his arms around you, forcing you up from the couch so he can spin you around. âiâm just SO grateful to my best friends for their help.â
over your shoulder, hanbin makes eye contact with both boys, drawing his thumb across his neck and mouthing, âjugeullae?â
once youâre back on the ground again, you study your boyfriend for a long moment. heâs sweating like a pig and the heater isnât even on.
âiâm just gonna run to the bathroom quick,â you say, walking out of the living room and down the hall.
âtake your time!â hanbin urges, eyes locked on you until heâs sure youâve disappeared from sight before turning his attention back to gyuvin and hao.
âum. so,â gyuvin stutters as he winces. âare you surprised?â
hanbin launches himself at the younger boy, but hao is quick to stand up and hold him back. âlet me at himâ let me⌠LET ME AT HIM!â
âYOUâRE the one who declared war, hyung,â gyuvin says annoyedly, crossing his arms. âso donât be mad when the best man actually wins.â
âi wonât,â hanbin says with a cocky smirk.
âyou both just need to calm down,â hao says, letting go of hanbinâs arms.
âoh, yeah, and i almost forgot,â hanbin remembers with a smile. âwhat the fuck is YOUR problem? you lost five days ago. why are you helping him set me up!?â
hao pouts. âi just hate when you win.â
hanbinâs brow raises expectantly. âand the real reasonâŚâ
hao pouts harder. âi got jealous of the sexual tension between you and gyubinnie.â
âthat sounds more like it,â hanbin says, shaking his head in disappointment. âgo to your room and think about what youâve done.â
hao rolls his eyes, walking toward the front door. âif youâre gonna have sex in here then iâm just gonna leave entirely.â
âIâM NOT!â hanbin yells back as the front door slams closed.
âyouâre not?â you ask, wholeheartedly confused and a bit hurt at the last bit of conversation you just heard as you stand frozen in the kitchen.
hanbin and gyuvin spin around to face you in shock.
âiâ... umâ... thatâs not whatâ,â hanbin stutters and, sensing a domestic dispute coming, gyuvin decides itâs a good time to slip away into his room to quietly and nobley win no nut november.
âËâĄ
when gyuvin shuts the door to his room, he decides to pass the time by playing some league. he sits down at his computer, exhaling heavily in contentment as he hears a bit of good-natured raising of voices through the door. he leans back, arms behind his head.
theyâll be fucking in no time, he thinks with the utmost satisfaction.
fiji would be so nice without that nuisance hanging around. but it would be kind of lonely to be all by himself on one of the most beautiful islands in the world...Â
if only you could go with him.
gyuvin shakes his head quickly, sitting up and taking a sip from his water bottle. clear mind, soft dick. clear mind, soft dick, he repeats his new mantra to himself.Â
at the beginning of the month, gyuvin had told you about the bet. youâd laughed really hard in his face and said, âwhy are you telling me this?â
âwellâ... well, because⌠we⌠we, like,â gyuvin stuttered, his cheeks reddening under your gaze. âwe, like, have sex. and stuff. sometimes. so, i thought i should let you know that we canât for a while.â
âyou canât for a while,â you corrected, taking a bite of your croissant. âi can do whatever i want.â
gyuvinâs heart dropped in his chest. âwhat do you mean?â
âi mean, it sucks for you,â you said with a shrug. âbut letâs just say iâm really glad iâm not a part of that bet, because iâd like to stay booked and busy.â
âlike⌠like, with other people?â gyuvin asked, his voice shaking a bit on the last word. you were just friends with benefits. gyuvin knew that. youâd both made clear boundaries with each other and it was the arrangement that both of you wanted. butâŚ
you put your pastry down, pointedly locking eyes with him. âwhy? does that bother you?â
yes, gyuvin thought. my heart has burst open and both atriums and ventricles are fracturing into a pathetic, bloody mess.
âno,â gyuvin said nonchalantly. âof course it doesnât.â
you stared at him for a little too long before picking your croissant back up. âokay.â
âokay,â gyuvin agreed with a forced smile.
youâd hung out with gyuvin several times in the first couple weeks of november. itâs just what came naturally. after all, youâd started as friends in the first place. after meeting as trainees in your predebut days, youâd maintained a semi-close friendship for a few years now even as you both navigated your separate idol lives. youâd never been all that attracted to him in the past, but when youâd seen him at an awards show a few months ago, suddenly looking like a tall glass of the purest reservoir water youâd ever seen, youâd decided you wanted to get just a little bit closer. just enough to get him inside you.
so you didnât hesitate to text him when the movie youâd been discussing with him for weeks was finally released in theaters. and gyuvin had asked you to have a karaoke battle with him the week prior, and you werenât just going to let him win by default. and you HAD to partake in your weekly taco tuesday ritual.
though your hangouts for the past few months usually ended in absolutely mindblowing sex, it still felt totally normal just to spend time with gyuvin. youâd even fallen asleep next to each other after a late night of gaming. and while that wasnât unusual, it was unusual for both of your clothes to still be on.
but the last couple weeks had grown increasingly rough for him. even accidentally brushing up against his arm would cause him to have to go to the bathroom to calm down for a few minutes. he always got embarrassed, but you never complained. if all you have to do is look at a man to have them on the brink of busting, youâre going to feel pretty damn good about yourself.
still, gyuvin decided to keep his distance for the remainder of the month just to play it safe. heâd also deleted instagram and tiktok so that he didnât come across any videos of you that would unknowingly wake up his dick. heâd actually tried to see a showing of wicked: for good with you on the 26th, but he ran out of the theater as soon as elphaba put her sex cardigan on.Â
he hadnât spoken to you since.Â
gyuvin shoves his hand in his pocket now, frowning when he doesnât find his phone. he looks around his desk and on the floor before accepting that he mustâve left it in the living room. sighing, he stands up and walks out of his room to find his phone.
âËâĄ
âoh my god,â hanbin says, looking at the spot on the couch that gyuvin has just vacated. âoh my god.â
âwhat?â you ask, following hanbinâs line of sight to find gyuvinâs phone sitting face-up, unlocked on the seat cushion. âwhatâs going on?â
âitâs a sign from the heavens,â hanbin says, rushing to the couch and picking up gyuvinâs phone, cradling it in his hands like it's a newborn baby. after a moment, he begins to type rapidly. âi am godâs favorite.â
âdid you forget to drink your anti-superiority complex tea today, dear?â you ask sarcastically as hanbin grins evilly at the phone screen. when heâs finally done, he puts it in his back pocket.
âhe thinks he can take me down?â hanbin mutters to himself happily. âthen weâll go down together.â
âwhyâre you acting so weird?â you ask as hanbin kisses every inch of your face a million times. itâs something heâd normally do, but in this moment, itâs incredibly suspicious. âi thought youâd be, like, super excited to see me, but i feel like iâm⌠intruding on something.â
ânow why would you think that, snugglemuffins?â hanbin coos, pretending to bite your cheeks.Â
âdonât gaslight me,â you growl, eyes narrowing at hanbin. his widen in response and, in an inhumanly short amount of time, he falls to his knees in front of you.Â
âiâm so sorry, my perfect, beautiful angel baby,â he says bowing at your feet in sincere remorse. âplease forgive me for upsetting you, iâ.â
âare you fucking cheating on me?â you ask, starting to piece together the puzzle that youâve been so unceremoniously gifted as best as you can.
âWHAT!?â he yells, completely taken off guard.
âyou werenât excited to see me. you looked like you were going to kill gyubinnie and hao for asking me to come,â you say, mentally putting together your serial killer, red thread cork board. âyouâve been messaging me a lot less than normal. and⌠and we havenât had skype sex for an entire month.â
âhoney, iâ.â
âyou LOVE skype sex,â you assert before tears begin to brim in your eyes. âso you MUST be having it with someone else!â
âNO! no, no, no, oh my god, no,â hanbin pleads, standing up and taking hold of you by your shoulders. âiâm not cheating on you, (y/n). i would NEVER do that. i love you so much it fucking hurts.â
âand youâre swearing way more than usual,â you say, shaking your head sadly. âsomething is going on and i donât know why you wonât justâ.â
ââno nut november,â hanbin blurts.
you blink back at him. â... pardon?â
hanbin sighs heavily. âmy members made a no nut november bet. and unfortunately, my pride was too great not to take part in it. the last person not to⌠you know⌠wins.â
you stare at him expressionlessly.
âi know i shouldâve just told you, but,â hanbin continues, trying to fill up the silence. âi wasâ... i mean, honestly i was pretty embarrassed. you know me as someone with such immense self-control and dignity and i didnât want you toâ.â
you laugh. really hard. a deep belly laugh.
â... wâ... what?â hanbin asks concernedly. âwhat is it?â
when you finally catch your breath, you smile at him and say, âyou are as delusional as you are handsome.â
hanbin gulps. âhuh?â
âi donât know if wanting to be inside me so badly that you cry is really the display of immense self-control that you think it is,â you say with a smirk.
âhey!â hanbin replies indignantly. âyouâ... you said that was hot.â
âit is,â you affirm, your fingers slipping into his front pockets. âand itâs also objectively undignified.â
hanbin stands completely still, staring at you in fear. âweâ... iâ...â
âi know, binnie,â you coo, sliding your fingers in a little deeper. âyou have so much self-control.â
his brow furrows in helpless want. hanbin needs to give in. he has to. but⌠he hears gyuvinâs bedroom door open. âjust one more hour.â
âhey, did you guys see my phone? iâ,â gyuvin stops dead in his tracks when he sees the compromising position you're both in and grins. âlooks like iâm interrupting something.â
but much to his surprise, hanbin is grinning too as he pulls gyuvinâs phone out of his back pocket and holds it up for him. the screen lights up and gyuvin can see from where he stands that thereâs a notification.
âgive me that,â gyuvin orders, though he takes no steps toward the couple in front of him.
âgladly,â hanbin agrees, tossing the phone gently over to the younger boy.
the notification he sees is a messageâŚ
from you.
âwhat did you do?â gyuvin asks, anxiety building up in his chest. âwhat did you do, you motherfucker!?â
hanbin suddenly lifts you up bridal style, brushing past gyuvin and walking down the hallway to his bedroom. over his shoulder, he calls, âmay the best man win!â
âËâĄ
gyuvin unlocks his phone, his breathing shallow as he opens your message chat.
gyuvin races out the front door. no coat. no real shoes, just his house sandals as he curses hanbin for being able to text so convincingly like him. trudging through the snowfall until heâs outside your dorm building. he presses the number of your apartment on the callbox. heâs buzzed in instantly.
he runs up five flights of stairs until heâs finally at your idol groupâs floor. your one-bedroom apartment is at the end of the hallway. when gyuvin reaches your door, he lifts his hand to knock, but he canât help but hesitate. what would he say? what would you say?
would this be the end?
before gyuvin can catastrophize any more, youâve opened the door, grabbed him by his sweatshirt, and pulled him into your apartment. you slam the door behind you, looking the snow-covered boy up and down. sighing, you grab him a towel from the linen closet and shove it into his chest.
wordlessly, he dries off, roughing his damp hair up. he looks even more boyish than usual.
you take the towel from him when heâs done and place it in your laundry basket. gyuvin follows from far behind, seemingly trying to make as little noise as possible. you spin around, hands on your hips as you stare at him incredulously.Â
âwhat the fuck?â you ask simply.
gyuvin just stares at you like a lost puppy.
âwhat the fuck is your problem?â you ask again, waiting for a real answer.
âi didnâtâ,â gyuvin starts to defend himself, but youâve decided that you actually werenât waiting for his answer and that youâd prefer to keep talking.
âi donât fucking understand!â you shout in annoyance. âYOU are the one who suggested the no feelings rule in the first place. as soon as someone caught feelings, we were supposed to end it.â
gyuvin sighs. âiâ.â
âthen why did you say you were okay with me sleeping with other people this month? huh?â you interrupt again. âi asked you if it bothered you, and you said.... âof course it doesnâtâ.â
âiâ.â
âand you don't even know how much it fucking sucked to hear that, because i wanted it to bother you,â you confess unabashedly. âi wanted it to bother you so fucking bad.â
gyuvinâs lips part in shock. had he heard you wrong? had he hallucinated? had hanbin really killed him and this was his entrance into heaven?
you swallow hard. âi didnât mean to break the rules, i justâ... i spend more time with you than my actual friends. and i like it that way. i donât know. i guess, somewhere along the way, i stopped thinking of you as just... good dick.â
a smile grows on gyuvinâs face after a few moments. âshit, thatâs the most romantic thing anyoneâs ever said to me.â
âthatâs kind of sad,â you say with a laugh.
gyuvin laughs too. âi donât feel sad.â
âhow do you feel?â you ask, unable to keep yourself from looking him up and down.
he smirks, taking the invitation to do the same. âreally fucking great. but iâd prefer to know how you feelâŚâ
âi think youâll find the answer is the same,â you flirt back. you look up at the clock on your wall and sigh. âin fourteen minutes, that is.â
âfuck,â gyuvin exhales in frustration. âright.â
âright,â you repeat, nodding as you both stare at each other awkwardly.Â
âgotta⌠get that win,â gyuvin rambles with an uncomfortable smile. you stand in silence for a few moments longer until gyuvin suddenly shrugs, strides over to you and closes the distance. âfuck it.â
his lips envelope yours in a passionate kiss that you realize how much youâve missed this past month. youâre backed against your kitchen counter as he lifts you up and sets you down on it. you wrap your legs around his waist as he deepens the kiss, your tongues fighting for dominance.Â
âwait,â you manage to say, catching your breath as you look again up at the time. âeleven minutes. are you sureâ?â
âwhat?â he asks with a smirk. âyou really think i canât outlast sung hanbin for eleven minutes?â
âthatâs not really something i want to think about,â you reply with a frown. âbut i know you want to win.â
âand i will,â he reassures, squeezing at your thighs until you lift your hips for him and he removes your shorts from around your waist. âiâll beat sung hanbin if itâs the last thing i do.â
âme when iâm cosplaying as zhang hao,â you joke.
âgood, keep saying stupid shit like that,â gyuvin says, falling to his knees as he begins to kiss up from your ankle to your thighs in your lounge shorts. âthatâll keep me from blowing it.â
you grab his hair on the back of his neck. âya! if you want to fight, we can fucking fight.â
âholy fuck, no, thatâs too hot,â he says, wide eyed as he stands back, sliding his own sweatpants down to expose himself to you. his cock is as angry and hard as youâd expected it to be after this month. he places a hand on your chest and pushes you back so that youâre entirely exposed to him. âjust be yourself, thatâll keep me unaroused.â
âiâm gonna shove my fucking knee into yourâ,â you threaten, cut-off by gyuvin suddenly slipping himself inside you. âoh my god.â
gyuvinâs forehead falls to yours as he tries to maintain his composure over the sound of your whimpering. âwhatâs all this, hm? you sound as desperate as i feel. werenât you getting fucked by your whole roster this month?â
âof course i wasnât,â you say, shaking your head. âwhen would i have had time to do that, huh? i was too busy hanging out with you.â
gyuvin pulls back in suprise. âreally? you didnât fuck anybody else?â
âthere was never anybody else,â you answer earnestly. smiling, you add, â... idiot.â
he looks at you with the most sincere relief and joy. you involuntarily clench around him as you drink up his reaction.
gyuvin seethes, his forehead falling back onto yours as he tries to compose himself again. he looks up at the clock again and then back at you. âsix minutes. i can do six minutes.â
youâre honestly not sure if he can, but you want him so badly at this point, nothing really matters anymore. âyou can. of course you can.â
âletâs fucking finish this shit.â
normally you got a little more creative with it, but the straight jackhammering you receive is incredibly welcome after the drought. you can tell how difficult it is for him to keep it together and youâre honored to just be a part of this victory. his hand reaches between your legs to help you out instinctively but you shake your head.
âyou need to focus,â you encourage, taking his hand and putting it back on your hip.Â
in another minute, gyuvin forces your legs over his shoulders as he slows his pace. âhowâ... how much time left?â
âjustâ... just another minute or so,â you hiccup, unable to make out the exact hand placement on the clock while being so fucked-out. âyou can do it, binnie. i bâ... believe in you.â
âi canâtâ... iâ... iâ....â
âËâĄ
hanbin lies back on his bed, one hand behind his head as he smirks up at the ceiling. heâs thinking about gyuvin busting a nut prematurely after giving some big speech about how strong-willed he is. maybe he shouldnât be thinking about his member cumming when his partner is literally in bed beside him.
hanbin put on some stupid drama heâs been watching about forty-five minutes ago and hasnât made a peep since. his other arm is around you, holding you close to him as he strokes your back tenderly.Â
everythingâs normal. except it isnât.
though heâd already explained the bet to you and the reasons for his weird actions, the explanation hadnât really made you feel any better.Â
âbin-ah?â you ask, looking up at him from his chest.Â
âhm?â he replies, meeting your gaze with a dimpled smile.Â
you hold your breath. âdid we grow apart or something?âÂ
his expression immediately changes as he sits up in concern. âwhat? what do you mean?â
âi know that you said the reason you were being distant was because of the bet,â you say, propping yourself up on your elbow. âbut that doesnât change the fact that you were distant.â
hanbin frowns with guilt. âiâm sorry, (y/n). that truly wasnât my intention.â
âi know it wasnt,â you agree. âbut this was just a short study abroad trip for school. whatâs gonna happen when i start my dance internship in los angeles next year?â
âwell. itâsâ...â hanbin stutters, looking down at his lap. âmaybe this says something. maybe⌠maybe you shouldnât go.â
these are the words that you knew hanbin had been dying to say for months since you told him about your dance internship in america. no one had ever believed in your talent like hanbin had. when youâd first walked into his dance class a year and a half ago, you had no idea the turn your future would take. his was the best class youâd ever taken and it was thanks to him that you had the courage to switch your major to dance and apply for the internship in the first place. youâd never meant to also fall in love with your famous instructor, but⌠who in the hell could blame you?
but there were clear and consistent obstacles in your relationship. hanbin being an idol, your devotion to your studies, your study abroad and soon, your permanent long distance. skype sex had been the only sex youâd had for a lot longer than your academic trip.Â
and as you lay in his bed, still untouched, you fear that it will remain that way forever.
âi didnât mean that,â hanbin says quickly. âi meantâ.â
âyou meant that you donât want to be apart from me,â you finish for him, knowingly. he nods his head sadly. âitâs really hard, isnât it?â
hanbin nods again, looking down at his quilt and tracing the pattern.
âwell then maybe you should come with me,â you suggest.
âwhat?â he asks, one brow piquing in confusion. âcome with you to la?â
you shrug, smiling at him. âyou donât have to move or anything. but the company iâm joining just sent out a memo that theyâre looking to diversify their tutting portfolio. we both know thatâs your true passion. and i assume youâll have at least a little bit of downtime this spring afterâŚâ
hanbin sighs, shaking his head regretfully. âi barely have time to practice anymore. i donât think iâd pass a serious audition at this point.â
âare you fucking joking?â you say, pouncing on top of your boyfriend and shaking his shoulders until he laughs. âhow could you ever say that? youâre the best dancer that i know, you dummy!â
hanbin smiles sadly at you. â... i donât want to break up.â
your brow knits together as you take his face in your hands. âhanbinnieâ.â
âiâm sorry i made you doubt me,â he apologizes sincerely. âi love you. weâll find a way to make it work. maybe i can come with you. or weâll make a point to visit every month. and we can have skype sex every day.â
you snort a laugh into your hands. âyou LOVE skype sex.â
âi do,â hanbin admits unabashedly. he reaches behind your neck, pulling you down to him until youâre nose to nose. âbut you know what?â
âwhat?â you whisper, your heat fluttering in response.
âi like the real thing a little bit more,â hanbin whispers back, his free hand sinking underneath the waistband of your jeans and squeezing you tightly.
âjust a little?â you say with a pout, batting your eyelashes like the saddest puppy in the world.
âoh my fucking god, let me inside you already,â hanbin whines, pulling your jeans down from the back. you sit up so you can remove them completely. hanbin wastes no time in removing his too and youâre back on top of him in seconds, positioning him at your entrance and sinking down slowly. âfuuuck.â
you throw your head back, happy to finally be filled again. âi kind of like the new swearing hanbinnie. sounds extra depraved coming out of that pretty face.â
âoh, fuck,â hanbin moans as you start to bounce yourself up and down on his length. âyou feel fucking amazing, baby. missed you so much.â
you do this for as long as you possibly can, but your legs eventually give out. hanbin pulls you down to his chest, taking over for you as he thrusts up into your heat again and again.
âiâ... i love you, binnie,â you whimper into his shoulder, biting down gently every time he hits a particularly good angle. âwant you to fill me up.â
âfuck, fuck, yes, baby,â he agrees too easily, his thrusting growing more haphazard. âwhatever you want. iâll doâ... iâll do whateverâŚâ
heâs completely on the edge now. suddenly, a bit of panic shoots through you. âbinnie, whatâ... what time is it?â
âdoesnât. matter,â hanbin punctuates each word with a less-than-rhythmic, sloppy thrust. âi. won. i made⌠sure of it.â
you try to wiggle your arm free to look at your watch, but you're hopelessly trapped under hanbin's weight.
âgânna fill you up with cum and eat it out of you,â hanbin promises deliriously. it sounds so good that it melts any worry you have away. if hanbinâs not worried, then neither are you. âgânnaâ... gonnaâŚâ
last chance: who do you think will win no nut november?
hanbin
gyuvin
Voting ended onDec 11, 2025
âË⥠find out who won no nut november here or here âËâĄ
đ warnings- perv!hanbinxreader, lowk cnc, fingering, p in v, unprotected sex, big dick!hanbin, creampie, dacryphillia kinda
đ a/n- this is the first fic i've written on a doc đđ im like iffy abt it but i'll probably keep writing on docs in the future
he just can't help it. not when youâre so helpless it physically hurts him. you came home, definitely too drunk to function. you told him that youâd be going out and probably wouldn't be home till late. yet he stayed up, waiting for you to get back to your shared apartment. he was just sweet like that, always lending a helping hand whenever you needed it. tonight was no different. fumbling with the lock on the door and stumbling into the apartment, you discarded your heels, which had been taken off your feet in the uber, alongside the other shoes at the front door. instantly your eyes lit up when you saw hanbin sitting on the couch, just watching as you almost tripped over air. quickly making your way to the open space beside him on the couch. your too-short dress riding up your thighs impossibly so, to the point where hanbin could very well see your bright pink panties that you decided to wear that night.
he was trying so hard to be a gentleman. but god were you making it impossible. the way you pressed your chest against his arm and looked up at him with blown out pupils. he knew it wasn't right. knew all the thoughts running through his head were despicable. but he couldn't help it. not when you looked at him like that.
âbinnnn~~~ whadcha do while i wasnt here?â pretty eyes batting at him as you inquired about his night. god the way you said his name,, he swore that youâd kill him. before he could even get one word out you let out a yawn. obviously tired from your long night. smooshing your cheek into hanbins bicep as you got comfortable, wrapping your arms around his as you hummed. âhow bout i clean you up and put you to bed?â
such an innocent offer you had to accept. nodding your head quickly before hanbin helped you to your room. so innocent at first. all he wanted to do was help you to bed comfortably. so that requires helping you out of that tiny dress that was barely covering your ass at that point. unzipping the back so slowly before the thin straps fell off your shoulders.
âmm,, binâŚâ turning around, you pressed your bare chest against him. he knew you didn't know what you were doing, that you were wasted, that he shouldn't take advantage.. but lord this is what heâd been wanting for so long, waiting for the moment you realized heâd take care of you better then any other man would. that it should be him and not whatever meaningless fuck youâd brought home.
now that he had it he wasn't letting it go. you looked up with him with those puppy eyes again. god you had to know what you were doing to him right? his hands finally landing in your waist, softly grazing up and down your sides. soft whimpers fell from you as he palmed your tits. biting your lip, trying to muffle whatever sounds came out of you. the alcohol making you more sensitive than usual. one of hanbin's hands coming up to your cheek, tipping your head up, locking his lips onto yours in a passionate kiss. he swallowed all of the sounds that made their way out of you as his hand traveled lower. fingers pushing past the waistband of your panties, dipping lower against your heat.
âgod youâre so wet,, you were waiting for this huh? waiting for me to take you?â you just shook your head, a pout and whimpers leaving you when his fingers flicked over your clit. practically buckling over when they pressed deep into you. hanbin held you up as he worked you open. he needed to stretch you before he fucked you, but god you were making it almost impossible for him not to just push you face down into the mattress and fuck you.
âpuh.. please,,, bin,,,, mmph need you.â god what were you saying? did you even know how you made him feel? he was trying so hard to be nice and prep you before he shoved his cock into you but now you were begging like a bitch in heat. grabbing onto hanbin's arm as you looked up at him with those eyes again. he couldn't help himself anymore. pushing you face down into the comforter on your bed before basically tearing your panties off. discarding his own sweats and boxers before bringing the tip of his cock to your âprobably not prepped enoughâ hole.
the feeling of hanbin pushing his thick length into you made you cry out. your walls clenching around him as he pushed himself in, inch by inch. god he was so fucking big, you felt like you were being stuffed to the brim. if you weren't absolutely wasted then it would probably hurt ten times more. gripping onto your sheets as hanbinâs tip pressed against your cervix. his hands all over your body, gripping your ass, trailing your sides, grabbing your waist. he wasn't wasting this opportunity, he wanted to memorize every dip and curve of your body like he has been while staring at you from across the apartment. ânngh⌠too,, too much,, hanbin, please.â you whined out. hanbin on the other hand wasn't listening to a single word you said. too much in his own world, feeling the way you squeezed around him was like heaven. it was everything heâd dreamed about and more.
âshh,, its okay i know⌠you can take it for me, you gonna be a good girl and take it?â he didn't really give you much of a choice before pulling out almost all the way and slamming his hips into yours, setting an absolutely brutal pace. tears already welling up in your eyes from how he was hitting your cervix with every thrust. moans that were basically sobs coming from you as you dug your fingers into the comforter deeper. already feeling your orgasm building at a rapid pace. it was all way too much at once. hanbin absolutely manhandling you, pulling your hips back onto his, leaving harsh slaps on your ass. he was close too, your walls still squeezing him impossibly tight making it hard for him to hold on.
âcum for me hun, needa feel you cum on my cock.â those words were plenty to send you over the edge. just a few more thrusts of his tip hitting so deep in you and you released. milking his cock as your orgasm washed over you. hanbin didnt last much longer, feeling the way you squeezed him even harder as you came made him come undone. pushing his cock deep inside of you as he released, feeling the warm fluid fill you up made you whimper out. hanbins lips trailed down your spine before he pulled out. watching the way your mixed fluids dripped out of your hole that heâd just been abusing. he collected the liquid on his fingers and pushed it back inside you, making sure you didnt waste a single drop.
he knew you probably wouldnt remember this in the morning, but to be honest, that was the fun of it!
g fluff, fluff and more fluff ! did i mention fluff ??
warnings you'll get a cavity from the sheer sweetness of this fic, also barely proofread heh.... â wc : 638
pairing : hanbin x fem! reader
hachu notes : FIRST POST AHHHH ! ever since zb1 spilt that has been SUCH drought of fics/authors going inactive and i think i've read almost all of zumblr fics and i need MORE,,, this is me fixing my own problem hehe T_T
â§ bf! hanbin who would treat you like an absoulte princess and wouldnt let you lift a finger around him. Opening doors for you, flowers every date, texting back promptly, and prioritizing your comfort over really anyone.
â§ bf! hanbin, who sometimes knows you better than you do. He knows when you're exhausted beyond measure and just need a simple, relaxing night full of cuddles and whispering comforting nothings.
â§ bf! hanbin who lets you be the ultimate passenger princess, everybody knows that the front passenger seat is yours and yours only. He'd definitely allow you to decorate the sun visor with either your guys' initials or a Polaroid of y'all, etc. He'd also make sure either your lip gloss or another of your trinkets is on the dashboard to send a message to everyone he's taken.
â§ bf! hanbin who is a mix of motherly and husbandly in the way he takes such gentle care of you. He'd carefully guide you down the street and the sidewalk rule! He always makes sure you are comfortable in any environment and will gladly leave with you if you are uncomfortable, even if you protest.
â§ bf! hanbin, whose family adores you, they think you are the best thing to happen to hanbin. His sister already views you as her SIL; his mom insists you call her mom. His dad respects your dreams and takes you like a proper DIL. It also goes the other way ! Your parents adore him and occasionally forget you're their child ! Both parents can see how gentle and loving the relationship you guys have built is, and are rooting for you two.
â§ bf! hanbin who emphasises communication within the relationship, he doesnt want thier to be any underlying resentment towards each other. He also cerntianly doesnt want the both of yall to "sleep" on an argument, he wants its resolved quickly and maturely.
â§ bf! hanbin whos fatal flaw is his complete loyalty to you and only you. Sure, he'll be poilet to other women but dont get it mixed up everyone will know hes a taken LOYAL man.
â§ bf!hanbin whos proectiveness shows in watching your drink while you go to the bathroom, or keep his hand on your waist or the small of your back when walking through large crowds. Its Its subtle but youll never ever feel or be unsafe around him
â§ bf!hanbin who'd absoulte love for you to come to the dance studio with him to watch and support him learning new choreogrpahy and teaching you too. He's the type to teach you the dance and come from behind to fix your position only to tease you with feather kisses on the neck and collarbone.
â§ bf! hanbin who would gladly get any signed album of any group at your request but would become sulky if you fangirl too hard for another group or member (esp if its hao T_T)
⧠bf! hanbin whod your biggest supporter, you supported his dream of becoming an idols and expresing him self so its only right in his mind that he returns what you gave to him. He tries to not miss a big event/celebration and if he has too� trust he will make it up 10x better.
â§ bf!hanbin who would never make you feel like your not the #1 person in his life, you are hs future. He can only every imagine speanding the rest of his life with you. You've supported his dreams and hes supported yours, breaking up is never something that he thinks of even in the middle of an argument.
â§ bf! hanbin who signed up to handle all of you and is more than willing to learn and grow together. Hes not afraid to love loudly and proudly. You are each other forevers âĄ
Final notes: pls pls enjoy this; i plan to have more work coming soon. Dont be afraid to leave constructive criticism, compliments, etc. in the comments!
Š heart2sae â all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, or repost anything on any platforms without my permission.
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âthey text you âheâs busyâ to prank you for once!â
pairing: bf!zb1 x gn!reader
genre: fluff/humor đ˝
warnings: no yujin, cussing, kayemess jokes, itâs silly đŤśđť
notes: i made this during the half time of the ger/sui gameâŚalso, has this trend been dead for months at this point? well yes but i love it so iâm doing this regardless ´シá´ď˝Ľ` in other news i realised how much i used to love kaomojis omg
genres: fluff, a bit of angst, hurt/comfort. no warnings. sung hanbin x reader.
a/n: this is um... extremely self indulgent. I'm very homesick rn and i just needed some comfort lol. a hug from binnie would solve all my problems ngl.
â . â
You snuggled into the arms wrapped around you, savouring the warmth you had been craving all week.
"Pat my head, please."
Hanbin chuckled at your words, his hand coming up to run his fingers through your hair softly, patting you gently while whispering.
"You missed me that much?"
You nodded slowly against his neck, relaxing under his touch, the weight of week finally lifting. "It was so hard."
His eyes softened at your words, his heart aching a little at the vulnerability in your tone, instinctively pulling you closer.
"I hated it. Being away from here, being away from you..." You muttered, tears pricking your eyes at the thought of it.
You weren't used to staying away from home. Even as a kid, you were always surrounded by your parents and loved ones, the idea of being away from them only filled you with dread.
Yet, as you grew up, it became inevitable. You learned to cope, to hide your feelings, but...
That didn't mean it hurt any less.
He knew it too.
"I know." He muttered, his eyes soft as he brushed your hair aside to plant a kiss on your forehead. "But you did it. I'm so proud of you."
You felt his hands cup your face, wiping away a tear you hadnât even noticed had fallen.
He then smiled at you, a simple gesture but it was enough to make your heart swoon. "It's okay now, I'm here. I got you."
You nodded, burying your face into his neck, letting the tears fall free, not from sadness but from a sense of peace and contentment, calming down as you took in the familiar scent. The scent of him...
IN WHICH Emperor Zhanghao uses the imperial command to wed both you and Prince Shen. Normally, one would be happy to be wedded to a prince and become one of the most powerful ladies in the Empire. However, the young master of the Ducal house of Shen is said to be a cold and indifferent man. Oh! And did I mention that your duchy and his are enemies? Right! The cherry on topâI almost forgot that you have a weak body too haha⌠How will you survive the harsh Northern lands? Will you get along well with your husband? Will you be treated alright in an unfamiliar environment? Shall you just return back to the comfort of your home?
FEATURING Zerobaseoneâs Ricky as the son of Duke Shen, Prince Shen Quanrui and you as the daughter of Duke Han, Princess Han Y/N.
GENRE romance, angst, fluff | historical fantasy, supposed enemies to lovers, forced marriage, northern duke au
WARNINGS (13k words) non-gender neutral reader (reader will be using female pronouns/titles), forced marriage, infidelity, mild swearing, mentions of abuse, and miscommunication.
NOTE hello! this is finally the end for melting point. Iâm so proud of my work and I hope you all enjoy it! A tad bit sad that this has finally ended but I am so glad I picked back my writing docs and finished this. Love you all and I hope you enjoy!
MORE WORKS â navigation | zb1!masterlist | story!masterlist
CHAPTER ONE: THE HUNTER AND THE PREY
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN, all your life, youâve been told to hate someone because theyâre your familyâs opponent and then all of a sudden (in a matter of five days), you need to act as if youâve been on good terms with them? No guidebook or school course could have prepared you for whatâs to happen right now.
Yes, of course youâre aware that youâd be married off to your fatherâs choice of family for all your life, you think youâve accepted it already. I mean, one would think so after being reminded of it all your life right? Itâs not like itâs uncommon anyways. Everyone in the nobility marries through convenience and then has flings with their lovers. Itâs more common than you think. Youâd know, since you caught one of your fatherâs friends with their mistress once.
Yet, whoâd assume that youâd be married off to the Ducal House of Shen of all people? You donât think you would have put that in your bingo (yes, bingo exists back then) list this yearâor any year to be honest.
For a bit of background to the confused readers (breaking the fourth wall letâs gaurr), The Zerose Empire exists with four ducal houses: Park, which exists in the west; Kim, from the South; Han of the East, and Shen of the North. Your family, The Ducal house of Han, has always been in opposition with the Ducal house of Shen. It was a fact that everyone knew, and it was a dislike that stemmed from way back then. (one so long that you donât even know the reason anymore, just that you werenât supposed to like them.)
And yes, the dislike is still rooted to this day. You could imagine how tired the Emperor, other noble houses, and ministry workers were. By this point they were quite sick of the petty arguments from both the ducal households. So sick, in fact, that Emperor Zhanghao IV, used the imperial command and declared that âDuke Han shall bring forth his most beloved daughter to marry Duke Shenâs successor.â
Your father almost had a heart attack after the declaration, but it was of no use to bargain since the imperial command was used.
In your opinion, father was a pretty good man. Not perfect or clean of course, but good. Your mother was the first wife, and surprisingly, the only wife he truly loved. It was unfortunate that mother died a year after you were born because of her weak body, and even more unfortunate that her only child turned out to be pretty weak too. He had remarried once more since then, and has had a few mistresses and children out of wedlock in an attempt to cure his aching heart. Despite the new ladies, you were still the first in his heart considering you were the only child he had out of the wife he loves.
Having a big room beside your fatherâs in the second floor all to yourself when all the others had to be in the first floor spiked a few jealous hearts, but your father was persistent and only allowed you the best despite your not-so-healthy body. So it was to no oneâs surprise that Emperor Zhanghao meant for your father to pick you to be married to the young master of the Shen Ducal house.
That was five days ago. Your father had begged for your understanding to comply with the Emperorâs words despite him not liking the command either. He had told you that it was for the unity of the Empire and that the Ducal house of Shen had promised to your father and the Emperor that they would treat you with utmost respect; and that if they break that promise, you would be sent back with ten times the alimony paid by your father. (and boy was the original alimony already a crazy amount)
You had told your father to not worry about it as you knew your father worried for you greatly. After all, in his eyes, you were still the weak baby that he held in his arms just last week. How could he send a weak child to the harsh northern lands where you were unfamiliar with everything? Of course, you had your own worries too. Different from your fatherâs, though. Mostly about your own soon to be husband.
Unlike your family, where many children reside, the Ducal house of Shen only had one heir. The young master of the North, Shen Quanrui, was said to be a cold man according to the rumors youâve heard from your maids. He was quiet and reserved, only showing his face in high society once in a blue moon. Similar to you in that matter, except it was because you were often too sick to attend rather than introverted.
You too had only met him once, in the Empireâs founding anniversary ball. Though you didnât have the best memory, you could easily recall that face of his. Blonde hair that seemed to be dyed and striking blue eyes, it was as if he stepped out of a fantasy storybook. Youâre sure he wore colored contacts back then, considering that both the Duke and Duchess had dark eyes. Nevertheless it didnât change the fact that he was probably the most handsome man youâve ever seen. You remember exchanging eye contact with him for a bit longer than you should have, and you remember how he raked your appearance with his eyes as if he was the hunter and you were the prey. You rolled your eyes and left back then despite the butterflies you got.
The sound of your bedroom door opening strips you out of your imagination.
âSister,â said the voice of a young boy, âcan I come in?â
âYes,â you answered, âcome in, Yujin.â
Han Yujin, the son of your father and his second mistress, was the only half-sibling you deemed close to you. His mother had died early on due to the same sickness as yours did, leaving him alone to fend off all the jealous eyes around him. You had sympathized with him, so you decided to keep him close and make him untouchable as one of your people. The young boy has since then grown attached to you, listening attentively to everything you say. Now, the young boy had become strong and wise, making him one of the successor candidates.
âI heard from father that youâd be married to that damned man, Shen Quanrui or whatever,â Sulked Yujin.
âThat damned man,â you sighed, âis still a respectable man who fended off the wild beasts and is a close aide of the Emperor, you shouldnât speak of him with that tone.â
âButâsister! Heâs our enemy, weâre not supposed to like him! Andâand, I heard from the maids that heâs a cruel and heartless man. What if he treats you harshly and locks you up in a tower or something!? What if heâs an indifferent husband who never looks after his wife and just messes around with other women? You deserve someone whoâd love you and treat you as the apple of their eyeâsomeone likeââ
âYujin,â Your voice stopped his train of thoughts as you held his hand, âdonât worry too much, okay? Itâs not like Iâm going there alone. My personal maids and Dr. Seok would be with me in the North, and they would report to father if anything happened. If he ever treats me cruelly, then Iâll be back here before you know it.â
âBut stillâŚI donât want you away from me..â
âAWEE is my baby brother worried for me~â you teased as you squished him into a hug, emitting a loud Hey! from him as he tried to get out of your tight grasp.
Whether your words were to reassure him or you; however, you donât know.
Who would have known that youâd get married to that man two weeks from now? Who would have known that youâd have to pretend like you didnât hate this man all your life because youâre supposed to marry him? Who would have known that the first time youâd exchange pleasantries with your soon to be husband would be in your wedding aisle? Who would have known that youâd be moving away from your fatherâs protection and into the cold and dangerous land in less than a month? Goodness, may the heavens spare you.
YOUâRE CLOSE TO SLAPPING Emperor Zhanghao. Okay, so maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration unless you want a one way ticket to a death penalty. But what the hell man. It was so (notice the sarcasm?) nice of him to let you marry a man youâre supposed to hate that he even gave you a due date of two weeks to be locked in for life. What is the meaning of marriage to him? Homework? I mean it might as well be since no one wanted thisâŚ
But here you are preparing for your wedding as the maids have meticulously worked their magic on you. Hours of hard work to make you âthe most beautiful bride to ever exist that not even the cold young master could resist.â (says them) They expected him to fall on his knees and have his spring blossom the moment he laid eyes on you. Though you didnât believe it, you still laughed along with them.
When you looked at yourself in the mirror, you were honestly taken aback. Clad in a simple yet elegant dress with your hair up, you looked like a painting. Damn, did they really outdo themselves. If that man doesnât fall in love with you (or at least find you the slightest bit attractive) at first sight then heâs probably just not into women. (It honestly doesnât sound impossible considering that youâve never heard of him being in a relationship with a woman before.)
It doesnât really hit you that youâre getting married until your father comes in. The moment you see the tears in his eyes, you also feel your eyes water. You remember being young and dreaming of how youâd marry someone you love. You remember planning your dream wedding. This was it. This was what you had always imagined. Yet, all at the same time, it seemed so different. The reality of your situation juxtaposing the wedding you have always dreamed of. Oh, to be young and naive.
You bite your lip and look down, unable to face them. It seemed as if your father could read your thoughts as he took your hands in his.
âOh y/nâŚâ He started carefully, as if thinking on what to say next so you wouldnât feel upset on your big day.
âItâs fineââ
âIâm sorry.â
âWhat?â
âI-I know youâve been dreaming of this day for a long time, Iâm sorry we only had a short time to prepare for it. But, I promise you, I did my best to make it as grandiose as I could possibly do so andââ
âNo, seriously, itâs fine,â you denied, despite not being the most pleased, you know that your father had tried his best for you and you didnât want to seem ungrateful, âIâm just melancholic that we wonât be as close anymore. I was informed that even though the Duke and Duchess are here in the capital, Prince Shen handles the matters in the North.â
âAh!â Exclaimed your father as if he had just realized, âDonât worry about that! The North has the fastest trains in the kingdom. You can visit us anytime, it would only take you five hours.â
âOh really?â You said, pretending that you didnât know that fact, âThatâs great then, I can visit anytime I want.â
âYes yesânow come, hold my hand once more. Itâs time to walk the aisle.â
You hold his arm, finally walking out of the dressing room and towards the venue. The walk was mostly silent, and no one talked until you both reached the closed door that opens to the venue.
âY/n.â said your father in a heavy voice.
âYes?â
âI know I donât say this often, but I hope for your happiness. If he ever makes you unhappy, then come back to me. Iâll even commit treason if the Emperor stands in the way, haha.â
âFatherâŚâ
âI know, I know. Gosh, I sound so old. Ready to meet the son of that corpulent piece of shit?â
âFather!â
âOops sorry, old habits die hard. I mean, ready to meet your husband?â
âYeah yeah, letâs just go already.â
Your father signaled the attendant to open the door, and shortly after, you could hear the announcer call your title. You realize that this may be the last time youâd be called with the surname Han.
You had little time to ponder on it though, as soon the gates opened and you had to focus on not tripping on your heels as you walked beside your father down the aisle.
The wedding venue wasâŚwow, honestly. Your father is surely a big liar, you conclude. Pretty? Not even words can describe how beautiful the venue is. Youâd think the wedding was planned for two years if you were an onlooker. The venue was held in a historical building which had lots of carved statues and decorative designs. Huge pillars hold up the roof, each pillar covered in vines and flowers. The roof in itself had hand-painted art that seemed to wash out from time, and a huge chandelier held on to the roof in the middle, sparkling so bright that it seemed like diamonds. Fresh white and purple flowers decorated the guestsâ tables, and all around the venue were violinists in white dresses, standing on a short and small podium, seeming to mimic the sculptures that decorate the walls.
The road in front of you seemed to be shining, and you donât realize how near you are until you feel your father let your hand go. Ah, this was it. He transferred your hand to an unfamiliar one, and it was only now that you finally looked at your soon-to-beâs face. It was slightly distorted thanks to the veil, but from what you could tell, the man was wearing a full white tux made from silk and decorated by pearls, with a black tie to complete his outfit.
âAt least he doesnât have a boring fashion taste,â you conclude.
Time passes, and before you know it, you have already said your promises and âI doâs.
âPlease exchange rings,â says the priest.
Prince Shen takes the ring first, and then holds your hand. As he puts the ring on you, you could slightly feel his hand tremble.
âHa?â you think, âdoes he despise me so much that the touch of my hand makes him furious?â
It leaves a bitter taste to your tongue, surprisingly. Your thoughts make you miss the lingering touch of his thumb on your ring finger. And, when it got to your turn, you quickly put the ring on his finger, letting go of his hand right after.
âYou may kiss the bride to seal the promise,â declares the priest.
You could see his hands hold the bottom of the veil, before lifting it, finally giving you an opportunity to see his face. You conclude that God certainly took a long time to make that face. His face was the same as you remembered. Striking and attention-grabbing in a good way. The only thing that bothered you seemed to be his eyes. It seemed cold and distant, yet sharp. It was as if he was able to uncover all your secrets, and it made you nervous.
You feel his hand reach out to your chin, and you hold your breath. It was like you couldnât breath, eyes searching all over his face on what heâd do next. He leans in, and your thoughts flood in a panic. It was like you were frozen, unable to move. Your heart starts beating so loud that you can't hear anything else. What should I do? How should I react? Why is he getting so cloâ
âMay I?â He breathed out, and you can just feel his breath right in front of your lips.
No? I donât know. No, thank you. No, no, noâ
âYes,â you answered breathlessly, as if finally letting yourself take in the air.
And before you could overthink once more, his lips crashed into yours, so desperate for it that you had to hold his arm to stabilize yourself. It was as if he had been waiting for this for a long timeâlike an impatient tiger having to wait for the right time to finally strike its prey. And, just like a tiger who never lets go of its prey, he doesnât seem to have any intention in letting you escape.
CHAPTER TWO: AN UNWELCOME BRIDE
THERE WAS NO TIME LEFT for an afterparty. Just right before your first night, Prince Quanrui immediately got a message urging him to return to the North. You didnât really get the full story, but it seemed to be related to the wild beasts invading a town near the border. He had gone with his subordinates first to see the situation, and had told your attendees to have you leave the following morning. You parted from your father and brother early in the morning after hearing the news, taking the first train available that morning. Whether the call would be a blessing or a curse, you choose to be positive for now.
Nevermind.
Everyone seemed to praise the bolt trains of the North so much that they forget to mention how nauseating it is to actually ride it. Fast? Yeah, for sure. Safe? You have to think twice. Long travels already take a toll on you normally, so this was basically a freeway to being bed-ridden for at least a week.
Thank goodness your personal doctor, Seok Matthew, had chosen to accompany you to the North. Without him, you would have definitely felt a lot worse than you do now.
Now. Rightânow. Now, you are in the chambers of what once was your enemy, and now of someone you must pretend to care for. You had wished to at least make a good first impression to your subordinates, but your head was killing you by the time you left the train. This was how you ended up being escorted to your new chambers immediately, and also how you have been spending the next two days. Bedridden, with Dr. Seok and your personal attendants right beside you.
At the very least, you have met the head butler, Hanbin, and he assured you that no one bears harsh feelings for you just because you werenât able to greet them properly. ( you werenât so convinced, but you let it go in your heart to reassure yourself. )
A knock disrupts your thoughts.
âMadam, this is Hanbin, can I come in?â
âOhâyes, yes. Please come in,â you rushed out, sitting straight and fixing your messy hair.
The door opens, and a sturdy bachelor walks in with your afternoon snacks. Three finger sandwiches and a pot of chamomile teaâdespite the feelings going around your head, your stomach seems to agree with todayâs choice of snack.
Hanbin placed down the dish as you watched him with uneasy eyes. He was niceâin fact, too nice. It didnât feel right that a person of the duchy would show such hospitality to a bride of the enemy house, despite the âtruceâ. You kind of expected more hostility than whatever is happening to youâŚlikeâfor example; someone âaccidentallyâ spilling water on you, or combing your hair harshly, perhaps even someone giving you the evil eye.? ( you swear your paranoia was caused by the amount of evil step-mother novels youâve read.. )
He seemed to sense the stare you gave, as he let out a cough, breaking your trance.
âUhâis there anything you need, madam?â He asked awkwardly, throwing a funny smile.
âIâm curious about something, if that would be okay for you to answer,â You replied hesitantly.
âOh, of course! How can I help?â He replied instantly, kind of reminding you of a puppyâŚ
âWhen will my husband come back home?â I ask.
âAh..â he seemed hesitant; you narrowed your eyes, âperhaps in two days.? Iâm not so sure, madam.â
â..Alright.â I let out, âtell him to visit me once he does. I must speak to him.â
âYes, madam.â
And when Hanbin leaves and the door shuts, the echo of your loneliness is met once more.
TWO DAYS PASS, and you finally rise from bed, steadier than before. Your doctor assures you that youâre well enough to start moving around, and Hanbinânot quite hiding his reliefâtells you in that gentle voice that your husband has returned.
You nod, brushing off invisible dust from your sleeves. Good, you think. You need answers. Not just about the household, or the expectations now hanging over your shoulders like lead chainsâbut about him. Your husband.
You donât expect a warm welcome. That much, youâve already let go of. But you do expect a meeting. A greeting. Some kind of acknowledgment. Any kind, actually.
So when you stand at the doors of his officeânot your chambers, not a dining table, but his private spaceâand are told that âHis Grace is occupied and unavailable,â your patience splinters.
( No oneâs ever said no to you also, so that added to your annoyance. )
The guardâno, not Hanbin this time, someone else; tall with brown hair who introduced himself as Gyuvinâbows and repeats it with more formal stiffness.
âHis Grace has requested not to be disturbed, Your Grace.â
Your Grace.
A title you never asked for, from a man you barely know.
You stand there a few more seconds, not moving, just breathing. Deep, quiet. And then, you turn.
DINNER IS HELD in the eastern hall that evening. Thereâs an absurd number of candles, a quartet of musicians playing something soft and forgettable in the corner, and a long table that stretches too far for a dinner with just one attendee.
That one attendee being you.
You stare at the empty chair at the other end of the table. No second plate. No poured wine. No footsteps down the hallway. You wait ten minutes. Fifteen.
Nothing.
A maid comes near, asking if you would like the food reheated.
You inhale slowly to calm your anger, count to three, and shake your head.
âTell Dr. Seok I may have overestimated my recovery today. Iâll turn in for the evening.â
Except you donât go to your chambers.
YOU PUSH OPEN THE DOOR to his chambers.
The scent hits you firstâcold metal, faint leather, something darker underneath. Itâs a battlefield in here, dressed as a room. Sparse. Austere. Distant.
Prince Quanrui doesnât look up right away. Heâs standing by the dresser, shrugging off a bloodied cloak. The faint drag of his shirt across his shoulder reveals a flash of redâdried, but angry-looking.
You speak before he can say anything, tone snappy.
âSo you are back.â
He stiffens. âYou shouldnât be in here.â
âIs this how you greet your wife?â
âI told them not to let anyone in.â
âWell, they didnât let me,â you say tightly. âI walked in myself.â
A pause. He turns, slowly. The moment your eyes meet, it feels like ice against glassâclear, cold, cracking with pressure neither of you fully understand.
âI just came from the field,â he says. âItâs not⌠sanitary.â
You scoff. âDonât worry, Iâm not that delicate.â
He says nothing to that. Instead, he crosses the room and begins unstrapping the belt at his waistâcalm, impersonal. As if youâre a servant, or worse, a stranger.
âAre you avoiding me?â you ask.
He doesnât even blink. âIâve been busy.â
âYou didnât even come to dinner.â
âI ate in my office.â
âThatâs not the same thing.â
âI wasnât aware I had to report to you for every schedule.â
You flinch. Then your jaw sets.
âRight. Of course not. Silly me, assuming a husband would want to dine with the wife he was forced to marry.â
That gets him. Briefly. He stills mid-motion, eyes sharp. âDonât twist my words.â
âThen say them properly,â you snap. âIf you have something to sayâsay it.â
Silence again.
You take a shaky breath. âI came here to try. I didnât expect warmth, but I didnât expect this. Being iced out. Ignored. Dodged like Iâm the plague.â
He turns to you fully now, voice clipped. âWould you prefer I fake it, then? Smile and ask you about your health like weâre old friends?â
âGod, Iâm not asking for that either!â you burst. âIâm justâI donât knowâbasic courtesy? The bare minimum? Something human?â
âI am being human,â he mutters. âIâm staying out of your way.â
âThatâs notâ!â You drag your hand through your hair. âYou really think thatâs what this is about? You hiding in your office is somehow a noble sacrifice?â
âI didnât want to come near you like this.â His voice is low, almost too quiet. âCovered in blood. Smelling like war.â
You blink, caught off guard. âWhy would that matter to you?â
He exhales through his nose. âBecause you lookedâfragile.â
âOh, so now Iâm fragile and dramatic.â
âThatâs not what I said.â
âItâs what you meant.â
He runs a hand over his face. âYouâre impossible.â
âAnd youâre emotionally constipated!â
You both freeze.
Then:
âWhat?â he says, frowning.
You cross your arms. âYou shut down the moment anyone asks how you feel. You deflect, disappear, or grunt. I donât even know if you like horses or not.â
He stares. âWhy would you need to know if I like horses?â
âThatâsâ!â You give a strangled laugh. âItâs an example. gosh, youâre dense.â
âYouâre the one storming into rooms unannounced and making everything personal.â
âIt is personal! Weâre married!â
âWeâre political allies.â
Your expression falls. Just slightly. âIs that all you think I am?â
He doesnât answer.
And somehow, that silence says more than he could have with words.
You swallow, hurt threading through your voice now. âYou kissed me like you meant it.â
That gets him. His jaw tenses. His gaze flickers.
You take a step back. âForget it. You know what? If you didnât want this marriage, you couldâve said something before the wedding.â
He finally speaks, low and frustrated. âDo you think I had a choice?â
âNo,â you whisper. âBut you do now. You have a choice now, to decide what kind of man youâre going to be to me.â
He opens his mouth.
Closes it.
Opens it again.
But the words donât come. Whatever he wants to say is buried too deep, rusted over with years of silence and swords and frost.
You shake your head.
âI donât need you to love me, Shen Quanrui. I just need to know youâre not going to treat me like a ghost haunting your estate.â
Still nothing.
You give him a last look, one filled with unsaid things.
Then you turn to the door.
Just as your hand touches the handle, he saysâsoft, almost bitter:
âIâm not good at this.â
You freeze.
A heartbeat passes. You turn your head slightly over your shoulder.
âThen learn,â you say. âBecause Iâm not going to live in this house as a stranger to my own husband.â
You leave.
And this time, the echo of your footsteps is the only sound that follows.
CHAPTER 3: THE PAST CHASES
ITâS NOT LONG BEFORE you have to finally attend an official event, even when you havenât fixed things internally with Quanrui.
After all, duty is duty.
The event in question was the Emperorâs ball.
The ballroom glittered like something out of a dream â gold-gilded ceilings arched high above the crowd, their domes painted with legends and forgotten wars. Chandeliers swayed ever so slightly from the summer breeze pushing in through the open balconies, the crystals catching and breaking the candlelight into a thousand scattered diamonds across the marble floor.
You arrived on Duke Shen Quanruiâs arm.
His hand rested on yours, gloved and still, like you were porcelain. He looked every inch the Northern Duke â tall, composed, and cold, dressed in midnight blue military formal with his Houseâs sigil sewn in silver thread over his chest. People turned to look. Some whispered. Some bowed. None of them could tell that the space between your bodies â though small â felt like an entire frozen ocean.
You didnât speak as the herald announced your names. You only felt Rickyâs fingers tighten slightly around yours, a reflex, perhaps. Protection? Possession? Habit?
âSmile,â he murmured under his breath, not looking at you.
You did.
Only because you knew how, not because you wanted to.
Every greeting was a performance. Nobles bowed. Countesses curtsied. A few dared to speak to you directly â women with jeweled fans and sharp eyes, testing your worth as the new Duchess of the North.
âMy, youâre even lovelier than the rumors,â one of them said sweetly, though her eyes flicked to your hand on Quanruiâs arm. âAnd brave, too. Iâd never have imagined the Duke of the North would ever settle down.â
You smiled politely. Ricky said nothing.
You wanted to look at him. Just once. To catch any sign of how he felt being here with you â under a thousand watchful eyes, with all the weight of expectations pressing down on your joined names.
Will he give you a look of regret? Of remorse?
But Ricky only led you through the room with practiced calm, nodding to diplomats and bowing to royals. The mask he wore never shifted. And each step made you wonder: Had he worn that same mask the day he agreed to marry you?
The music swelled, a waltz beginning from the musiciansâ corner. People drifted to the dance floor in glittering pairs. You turned slightly, already planning to step back, to restâ
But Ricky caught your wrist.
His fingers, bare now, wrapped around you with startling ease. Not forceful. Just⌠unwilling to let go.
âWeâre being watched,â he said slowly, softlyâeyes fixed forward. âDance with me.â
Your breath caught for a moment. Not because of the order â but because of how close his voice was. Like it belonged to another version of him entirely. One who didnât keep you at armâs length.
You nodded.
He pulled you into a standard ballroom hold, one gloved hand pressed against your back, the other cradling your hand in his. You moved together through the slow tempo, your bodies never touching too closely â just enough to make it convincing. Or maybe not. You couldnât tell anymore what was real with him.
âYouâre tense,â he muttered quietly, eyes not on you but just over your shoulder.
You met his gaze. âI wonder why.â
A pause. A flicker of something behind his eyes. Regret? Annoyance?
Then he said, softly, âI didnât want you humiliated tonight.â
Your lips parted, surprised. âYou think showing up in silence with a stranger counts as not humiliating?â
âIâm not a stranger,â he replied. âYou just donât know me yet.â
That made your throat tighten, bitter. âWhose fault is that?â
Silence. But his grip on your hand tightened, just for a moment.
Then the room seemed to hush around you as he leaned in, not enough for anyone else to notice â only you could hear what came next.
âDo you regret not marrying Kim Taerae?â
The question cracked through you like thunder.
You nearly stumbled at the unexpected mention of your ex-fiance, and he steadied you instantly, hand tightening at your back. But his expression was unreadable â calm, still, like he hadnât just ripped open a wound you didnât know was still bleeding.
Your voice, when it came, was quieter than you wanted. âThatâs none of your concern.â
âIsnât it?â he asked, still not looking at you.
The music ended before you could answer. He let go of you too quickly.
YOU RETREATED TO THE SIDELINES after that, needing air â or distance, or maybe just space to remember who you were before all this. Before you belonged to someone who only looked at you when no one else was watching.
A noblewoman approached you soon after, feigning friendliness with every syllable.
âHis Grace rarely dances, you know,â she said, eyes gleaming behind her fan. âNot even when the Crown Princess tried to tempt him, back when he first returned from the Northern Border. But he danced with you. Curious, no?â
You didnât reply. Because what could you say? That the dance had felt like a battle you didnât agree to fight?
She took your silence as permission to lean in a little closer.
âThey say he watched you for years,â she whispered. âLong before the Emperor suggested the match. Iâd take that as a compliment. Or a warning.â
Then she smiled, curtsied, and vanished into the crowd.
You stood there, frozen.
Watched you�
Had he?
You didnât get the chance to ask, because another voice broke the peace of silence you almost had.
This time, one that was more familiar to you than youâd care to admit.
âMy lady,â the voice greets, a shadow falling on your shoulders.
You turnâand there he is. Kim Taerae; the man you almost married.
He bows, âIt seems that fate had other plans.â
You want to focus on Taerae, but you canât for a secondâ because thatâs when you saw him leaving the ballroom.
Not storming, not rushing. But purposeful. Like something had shaken him loose.
And just like that, Duke Shen Quanrui disappeared into the back corridor with another man. One youâd never seen before â taller, purple-haired, with a casual swagger that didnât belong in a place like this.
THE CANDELIGHT OF THE BALLROOM hadnât even faded from his shoulders when Ricky felt a firm grip tug at the back of his collar.
âRunning off already, Your Grace?â came the voice â smooth, smug, and unmistakably Western.
Ricky didnât turn. âNot in the mood, Gunwook.â
âOh, thatâs obvious,â the Duke of the West said, falling into step beside him, a hint of laughter in his voice. His violet-dyed hair caught the torchlight as he leaned sideways, dramatically peering into Rickyâs face. âYou looked like you were ready to strangle someone on the dance floor. So naturally, I followed.â
âI didnât strangle anyone,â Ricky muttered.
âNo. But you did look like you wanted to rip Kim Taeraeâs arms off for touching your wife,â Gunwook said brightly, as if discussing the weather. âWhich, I must say, is very unlike you. Should I be concerned?â
Ricky halted in front of a heavy set of mahogany doors. âLeave it.â
Gunwook only grinned wider. âOh no, Iâm definitely not leaving it.â
Before Ricky could protest, Gunwook swung the doors open and shoved him forward with a little too much force for it to be accidental. The scent of wine and citrus filled the room â and lounging on the chaise, holding a goblet of golden liquor, was the last person Ricky wanted to see right now.
Emperor Zhanghao raised a brow. âWell. That took longer than I thought.â
Ricky sighed, low and slow. âYou too?â
Gunwook shut the door behind them with a click. âYes, both of us. Because someone needed to sit you down before you iced your entire marriage in front of half the nobility.â
Zhanghao took a leisurely sip, then tilted his head at Ricky. âWas it the dress?â
ââŚWhat?â
âYour wifeâs dress. Was it the reason you looked like your blood pressure doubled?â He smiled â infuriatingly calm, like he was enjoying a private joke. âI did approve the embroidery pattern myself, after all. Subtle House Shen motifs on a royal-cut train? Flattering, I know.â
Ricky ran a hand over his face. âWhy am I here?â
Gunwook threw himself dramatically onto a velvet seat. âBecause youâre losing your mind.â
âBecause youâve been avoiding her since the wedding,â Zhanghao added.
âBecause youâre too scared to admit you care,â Gunwook said, kicking his legs up.
âBecause I ordered this marriage and I will not have it crumbling over your inability to flirt.â
Ricky exhaled sharply. âI donât need to flirt.â
Zhanghao looked positively offended. âYou donât want to. Thatâs different.â
âShe was talking to her ex,â Ricky bit out.
There it was. The truth cracked free from between his teeth before he could stop it.
Gunwook let out a low whistle. âSo you were jealous.â
âI wasnâtââ Ricky started, but the look from both of them shut him down instantly.
Zhanghao stood slowly, setting down his goblet. He walked toward Ricky, stopping just short of reaching him. His voice, when he spoke, was quieter now. âYouâve watched her for years, Quanrui. Donât insult her by pretending you didnât.â
Rickyâs jaw clenched.
Gunwook added, âYou wanted this. She was supposed to be someone elseâs, and you let it happen. Donât pull the cold husband act now just because you donât know what to do with her.â
Zhanghao gave him a knowing look. âDo you even know what she looked like when you walked away after that dance? Do you think she didnât notice?â
âI was trying to protect her.â
âFrom what?â Gunwook asked, suddenly serious. âFrom being loved properly?â
Ricky didnât answer.
For a moment, all three of them were silent. The tension coiled thick in the air â not malicious, but weighted. Heavy with truths left unsaid.
Then Zhanghao clapped him on the shoulder.
âGo find her,â he said. âAnd for once, try wanting out loud.â
Gunwook leaned back lazily. âTell her sheâs beautiful. Ask her to dance again. Maybe even smile. You know â things people do when they actually like their spouses.â
Zhanghao smirked. âAnd if you donât, Iâll have no choice but to assign her to Gunwook next.â
âHey!â Gunwook protested, grinning. âNot that Iâd complain.â
Ricky turned on his heel without another word â but they caught the shift in his expression. The tightness of his jaw, the tension in his shoulders.
He was already walking back toward the ballroom.
He wasnât running this time.
He was chasing.
YOU WERENâT SURE HOW LONG youâd been standing by the colonnade when Taerae found you again.
The ballroom music pulsed behind you, but hereâbeneath the stone arches overlooking the gardensâit was quiet. Breezy. Safer, maybe. Or maybe you were just tired of looking composed.
Taerae offered you a cup of wine you didnât ask for.
You took it anyway.
âStill donât like crowds?â he asked lightly, leaning against the stone rail beside you.
You exhaled a laugh through your nose. âStill remember that?â
âI remember a lot of things,â he said. Then added, with a crooked smile, âEspecially about you.â
You looked away first.
There was nothing inappropriate about the conversation. Not technically. Your voices stayed soft, your bodies politely distanced. But the history hung between you like an unfinished letter.
You spoke about nothing â court events, the weather in Hwanghae, a minor scandal involving a duchess and an overeager poet. He made you laugh once, softly. It was strange, how easy it was to fall into old rhythms, like old furniture your body still remembered the shape of.
But then you shifted your stance and the heel of your shoe caught on a loose stone tile.
âAhâ!â
Your wine tilted dangerously, your balance thrownâ
Taerae caught you.
A hand steadying your elbow, his other gently brushing your waist to keep you upright. His face was suddenly much closer than it had been a second agoâeyes wide with concern, breath caught halfway through a sentence.
âAre you alright?â
You were. But you couldnât answer.
Because in the very next moment, a shadow fell over both of you.
A voice âlow, cold, and dangerousâ broke through the air like a blade.
âWhatâs this?â
You turned.
Ricky stood a few feet away, eyes trained on Taeraeâs hand still on your waist.
His expression wasnât angry. It was worse.
He looked calm. Carefully composed. The kind of quiet fury that didnât raise its voice â because it didnât need to.
Taerae dropped his hands immediately and straightened. âDuke Shen,â he greeted smoothly.
âCount Kim,â Ricky returned, his tone polite but flat. âI wasnât aware the South sent such⌠personal envoys tonight.â
Taerae gave a thin smile. âOnly a brief conversation.â
âWith my wife?â Ricky asked, eyes narrowed.
It wasnât a question. Not really.
You took a breath, stepping in. âHe was justââ
âI saw what he was just doing,â Ricky said, eyes never leaving Taeraeâs. âI assume the part where he touched you was also part of the conversation?â
Silence.
Taerae raised a brow. âWould you rather I let her fall?â
Ricky smiled. It was not kind.
âIâd rather you remember sheâs not yours to catch.â
You could feel the tension slicing through the air like sharpened glass. The nobles in the ballroom hadnât noticed yet â but if this continued, they would. The Duke of the North and the Count of the South publicly trading barbed words over you was not exactly the kind of court entertainment you wanted to provide.
You turned toward Ricky, voice firm. âCan we talk? Alone?â
He didnât look away from Taerae right away. But eventually, he gave a stiff nod.
Taerae gave you a subtle glance before he bowedâto both of youâand walked away into the colonnade shadows.
You and Ricky stood in silence for a long moment.
Then you asked quietly, âWhy did you come back?â
He looked at you like it was the stupidest question in the world.
âBecause you were gone. And so was I.â
CHAPTER FOUR: A SWEET RENEWAL
The next morning, everything was⌠different.
Yet also the same.
You still woke in a room colder than youâd like, in sheets warmer and twicefold heavier than youâd use back in the East. You still had the same title, the same last name, the same view of snow-dusted stone terraces outside your window.
But something had shifted.
You saw it in the way Ricky hesitated in the doorway when he came to check on you. Not barging in. Not commanding. Just..lingering.
âI asked the staff to serve your breakfast upstairs,â he said, eyes flicking briefly to the tray. âYou looked tired.â
You nodded. âThank you.â
He didnât move.
You waited for him to leaveâbut he didnât. Instead, he stepped further into the room, hands behind his back, posture tense like he was preparing for a duel.
âDo youââ he cleared his throat. âDo you still feel⌠unwell?â
You blinked. Heâs checking in?
âNo fever,â you reply quietly. âI just didnât sleep well.â
Ricky nodded once. âWould you like something for that? A draught, orâŚâ
His voice faded, unsure. He sounded like someone reading from a manual heâd never opened before.
âItâs alright,â you said gently. âJust⌠stayâif youâre not too busy.â
That caught him off guard.
âIâll stay,â he said, almost too quickly.
He satâstiffly, of courseâin the armchair by the hearth. For a long while, neither of you spoke.
You ate quietly. The sound of the spoon tapping the bowl filled the silence between you.
Then, abruptly, he stood. Crossed the room. Pulled the blanket from the foot of your bedâand without meeting your gaze, carefully draped it around your shoulders.
âYour hands were cold,â he said, almost like an apology. Like it was his fault your hands turned freezy and not the atmosphereâs.
You looked down at them. They were. You hadnât noticed.
ââŚThank you,â you murmured.
He nodded again, then walked back to the armchairâonly to stand again two seconds later. This time pacingâthen stopping halfway. Then crossing his arms like he wasnât sure what to do with them.
âYou can sit,â you said, unable to stop the small smile that tugged at your mouth.
He looked mildly offended. âI wasnât going to leave.â
âI didnât say you were,â you replied, tilting your head.
Another silence. This one, less heavy.
Finally, he muttered, âI donât know what Iâm doing.â
You blinked. âPardon?â
Ricky turned towards you fully, completely, for the first time that morning. His face was unreadable, but his voice was softer now. Almost⌠uncertain.
âIâve neverââ he paused. ââbeen married. Or⌠or close to someone like this. I donât want to make you uncomfortable.â
You stared at him for a moment.
âIâve never been married either,â you said, voice quieter than before. âSo weâre even.â
His mouth twitched. Not quite a smile. But close.
You tucked the blanket around yourself tighter, fighting the absurd urge to laugh. âIs this our truce, then? A mutual agreement that weâre both bad at this?â
âIâm not bad at this,â he said quickly. Then paused. âJust⌠inexperienced.â
You couldnât help it. The laugh slipped out.
Ricky blinked. Then tilted his head, like he hadnât expected the sound of your laughter to be so⌠nice.?
âI didnât mean that kind of inexperience,â he said, voice flat.
That only made you laugh harder. He looked away, ears faintly pink at the tips.
A WEEK LATER, the sun filtered through the high windows of the gallery hall. Your steps echoed faintly as you walked beside himâslow and steady, more for your own comfort than anything else.
You werenât used to walking beside him like this. As equals. At court, youâd seen him from afar, always ahead of others, always silent. But here, his pace matched yours. Half a step behind, even. You donât know why you noticed.
âI never liked this corridor,â you said suddenly.
Ricky glanced sideways. âWhy?â
You gestured loosely to the frozen statues that lined the walls. âItâs cold. Pretentious. All these marble war heroes look like theyâve never lost anything.â
He hummed, the sound low in his throat. âThatâs because none of them wrote their own histories.â
You raised a brow at him. âThat almost sounded wise.â
âI do believe I have moments.â He replied almost sassily.
A beat of quiet passed. Then he cleared his throat.
âI know you used to walk gardens in the East,â he said. âDr. Seok told me you preferred sun to snow. I could have the north courtyard warmed. Have you seen it yet?â
You blinked. âNo. I didnât know it had plants.â
âIt doesnât,â he admitted. âBut I can change that.â
Your steps slowed.
He wasnât looking at you, not directly. But his voice was earnest. Awkward, yes â but unpolished in a way that made you believe it. Heâd paid attention. Asked someone. Made a plan.
âIâm used to the cold by now,â you said finally. âBut⌠thank you.â
He nodded once, as if that settled it. Like the moment was locked away in his memory.
You stopped before the tall stained-glass window near the arch, gazing out at the distant horizon where the snow met sky. The East always looked so green in your memory. Warm and humming and golden.
âYou must have hated the idea of marrying into the East,â you said quietly. âWhen they first told you it was me.â
Ricky turned to you. âI didnât hate it.â
âYou didnât fight it, either.â
âNo,â he said. âBecause it was you.â
You looked up sharply.
He met your eyes, steady now. âI didnât want marriage. But if I had to belong to someone, I didnât want it to be a complete stranger. And you werenât.â
Your breath caught.
He didnât explain further. He didnât need to. The truth sat between you â clean, heavy, unmistakable.
Youâd known each other in childhoodâalbeit not the nicest impressions. When you were children, you were forced to be besides each other at court dinners, though never quite close enough to matter. But he remembered. And apparently, so did you.
âI thought you didnât remember those years,â you murmured.
He glanced back toward the window. âI remember a lot more than you think.â
THE SNOW WAS FALLING harder by nightfall.
You hadnât meant to stay in the gallery that longâbut the light through the stained glass was gentle, and for once, Rickyâs presence wasnât stifling. Just quiet. Thoughtful.
So you lingered. And maybe it cost you.
Because hours later, back in your chambers, the ache in your bones sharpened. The dull throb behind your eyes turned to a pounding. Your breaths came shallower. And the coldâgoodness, the coldâit settled under your skin like frostbite.
You didnât notice the tears until they slipped down your cheeks.
Your hands were trembling too hard to ring the bell. You curled in on yourself at the edge of the bed, trying to breathe through the flare of pain in your stomach and the pressure climbing your chest.
The door slammed open a moment later.
Ricky.
He looked as if someone had told him youâd collapsedâwhich, you realized vaguely, someone probably had.
His eyes swept over you, and for the first time since youâd arrived in the North, the mask cracked.
âGet Dr. Seok,â he snapped to the servant behind him. âNow!â
He crossed the room in two long strides and knelt by your bedside. His hands hoveredânot touching, not yetâlike he didnât know where it hurt, and was terrified of making it worse.
You tried to speak. Couldnât.
âHeyâhey, breathe,â he said, voice lower now. Softer. âLook at me. Justâdonât cry. Please, donât cry.â
Your vision blurred. You hated crying in front of people. You especially hated that it was him seeing it.
âIâm sorry,â you whispered. âI didnât mean toââ
âDonât apologize,â he said quickly. âYouâre not in trouble. Justâwhat do you need? Tell me what to do.â
You didnât know.
Thatâs when Dr. Seok arrived.
Everything moved faster after thatâcool hands on your forehead, medicine against your lips, Ricky following every instruction like his life depended on it. Like yours did.
âHer core temperatureâs unstable,â Seok said sharply. âThis always happens when she overexerts herself in winter. You knew she went out today?â
Ricky looked stricken. âYes.â
âBlankets. No more than three. And do not overheat the room.â
âIâll do it,â Ricky said instantly. âTell me what else.â
And he did. For hours.
He helped you sit up to breathe easier. He ran the cloths under cold water himself when your fever spiked. He held you through the shaking when the cramps got worse, even though his arms were rigid and unsure.
Once, when he thought you were asleep, you heard him mutter:
âIf you die, Iâll never forgive you.â
Thankfully, the worst of it passed just after midnight.
Dr. Seok left once your fever stabilized, though not without a long lecture about warm food, layered clothing, and letting your body recover. The servants, quiet and efficient, took away the basin and bloodied cloths. The fire was stoked one last time.
Then they were gone.
Leaving only you. And your husband.
The room was quiet save for the soft crackle of flames.
You shifted slightly beneath the blankets, your body sore and spent. You could feel the sweat clinging to your skin, but you didnât have the strength to move. The cold no longer gnawed at you, but your head felt far too light, like it might float off your neck entirely.
You didnât have to look up to know he was still there.
Ricky sat beside your bed, his chair pulled as close as it could go. One elbow rested on his knee. His eyes were trained on your hand, limp against the blanket.
You turned your palm upward. Just barely.
It was an invitation.
He took it.
Carefully, hesitantlyâlike the gesture might break you all over againâRicky wrapped his fingers around yours. His grip was gentle, but firm. Anchoring.
âYouâre not⌠dizzy anymore?â he asked, his voice low and hoarse.
âNot dizzy,â you murmured. âJust⌠tired.â
He nodded, but didnât let go.
Another silence bloomed. But this one felt different. Not awkward. Not stiff. Just..quiet.
âI didnât know what to do,â he said after a while. âIâve read every war manual there is. Nothing in any of them prepares you for this.â
You managed a weak smile. âYou did fine.â
âYou cried,â he said, and you heard something strange in his voice. Shame. Guilt.
âI was in pain.â
âYou looked scared.â
You were. But you didnât want to say it out loud.
âIâm used to it,â you offered instead.
He shook his head once. âYou shouldnât have to be.â
The fire popped gently. A spark fell and disappeared.
Ricky leaned forward, resting his forehead against the back of your hand.
âJust tell me next time. Before it gets that bad. Iâll listen. I swear Iâll listen.â
His voice was too raw, too close to breaking for you to do anything but squeeze his hand back.
You werenât sure how long you stayed like thatâhis hand in yours, your breathing finally even, the weight of the night pressing soft and heavy against your skin.
Eventually, Ricky shifted in his seat. Not away from you. Just enough to lift his head.
âDoes it⌠happen often?â he asked, voice quiet.
You blinked up at the ceiling, too tired to lie. âNot as often as it used to. But yes. Especially in the cold.â
He nodded, as if logging it away. Then, after a pause:
âSince when?â
You hesitated.
âI was fifteen when it started,â you said finally. âThey thought it was just stress, or the court air. But it didnât stop. Got worse every winter. Some summers, too.â
He looked at you carefully. âIs it fromâŚ?â
âMy mother,â you confirmed, before he could finish. âNot the current Mistress. My real mother, the Duchess. She died young. No one talks about it, but Iâve read her letters. She knew it would pass to me.â
A long silence.
You werenât sure why you kept talking. Maybe it was the warmth of his palm. Or maybe it was the way he hadnât let go of your hand since Dr. Seok left.
âThey tried to hide it,â you said softly. âSaid it would ruin my marriage prospects. That no one wanted a wife with..wellâcomplications.â
Rickyâs jaw tensed, but he didnât interrupt.
âI wasnât supposed to tell you,â you added. âMy father said it would give the North something to laugh about.â
âI donât find it funny,â he said flatly.
âI know. Thatâs why Iâm telling you now.â
His thumb brushed against the side of your hand. You looked at himâreally lookedâand saw something shift behind his eyes. Something heavy. Thoughtful.
âI wish youâd told me earlier,â he said after a moment. âSo I couldâve started worrying sooner.â
That surprised a laugh out of you.
âIâm serious,â he added, softer now. âIâm your husband. Even if Iâm not good at it⌠I should at least be allowed to care.â
The laughter faded. A different kind of quiet settled between you. Fragile. Real.
âThen I should tell you something else,â you said, barely above a whisper.
He looked at you. Waited.
âThereâs a chance I⌠might not be able to bear children. Or that it would be dangerous. Theyâre not sure yet.â
He didnât react right away. No anger. No disappointment. Just stillness.
You braced yourself for the worst.
Instead, he said calmly:
âThen we donât.â
You blinked. âWhat?â
âWe donât have children. Or we adopt. Or name an heir some other way. I donât care.â
You stared at him.
âI married you,â he said, holding your gaze. âNot your bloodline. Not your womb. Just⌠you.â
A knot that had lived quietly in your chest for years began to loosen.
âEveryone else seems to care,â you murmured. âAbout heirs. About legacy. Aboutââ
âIâm not everyone else.â
He reached upâslowlyâand brushed a strand of hair from your cheek. His fingers were clumsy. Gentle. New.
âI donât need a dynasty,â he said. âI need a reason to come home.â
You didnât respond right away.
Because that lineâ
You werenât sure what unsettled you moreâthe gentleness of it, or the terrifying fact that you wanted to believe him.
So you did what you always did when things felt too close.
You looked away.
Pulled the blanket tighter.
And said softly, âIâve been feeling lonely here.â
He blinked, clearly startled by the shift. But he didnât push back.
Instead, he adjusted in his seat and asked, carefully, âWhat do you mean?â
You stared at the flames in the hearth. âI donât know anyone. The staff is kind, but formal. Thereâs no one to talk to. Not really.â
âYou talk to me.â
A small laugh escaped your lipsânot mocking, but light. Tired.
âI talk at you, sometimes. Itâs not the same.â
He looked thoughtful. A shadow passed through his expressionâsomething like guilt, quickly swallowed.
âIâm sorry,â he said.
You turned your head to him. âWhy?â
âFor being the kind of man who makes you feel alone, even when Iâm in the room.â
That silenced you.
Because you hadnât expected him to get it.
You hadnât expected him to say it out loud.
And now that he had, your throat tightened.
âI miss having someone who knows me,â you said. âBefore all of this. Before the titles. Someone who doesnât see a duchess, or an Eastern bride. Just me.â
He was quiet for a moment.
Then he asked.
âHow can I help with that?â
The question was simple. But it landed like a stone in still water.
You blinked. Your mouth parted slightly.
âCould IâŚâ you hesitated. âCould I see my brother? Or Jiwoong? Just for a short visit.â
He didnât flinch. Didnât look insulted or annoyed.
Instead, he nodded. âIf theyâre willing to come, Iâll have them escorted here safely. As soon as possible.â
You let out a breath you hadnât realized you were holding.
âYujin may be busy,â you said softly. âHeâs preparing for the inheritance rites this season. But Jiwoong will come if he can.â
âThe Marquess?â he asked, lips twitching faintly. âThe one with the sharp tongue and louder coats?â
You smiled. âThe same.â
âThen Iâll send a rider at dawn.â
He said it like a promise. Like it was the easiest thing in the worldâto bring a piece of your home to you.
You felt the sting in your throat again.
But this time, it wasnât from pain.
JIWOONG ARRIVED TWO DAYS LATER in the early afternoonâdraped in a fur-lined cloak too extravagant for spring and dragging two terrified servants behind him with a box labeled âemergency tea collection.â
âMy lady,â he declared as he stepped into the tea room, arms wide and voice scandalously loud for Northern halls, âyou look positively faint. Has no one brewed you proper jasmine since you got here?â
You didnât realize how much youâd missed him until you saw him.
You barely waited for the servant to bow before launching into his arms.
He caught you with ease, arms warm, cloak even warmer, his familiar cologne a small miracle in a house that smelled only of stone and snow.
âI thought youâd be busy,â you murmured against his shoulder.
Jiwoong pulled back, eyes gleaming. âPlease. For you? I nearly left in the middle of court. The Emperor said I was dramatic. I said I was loyal.â
You laughed, guiding him to sit across from you as the staff brought in fresh porcelain and delicate finger food.
Ricky had arranged everything perfectly. Even down to the jasmine.
Jiwoong noticed.
âWell,â he said, lifting the tea to his nose. âYour Northern Duke has taste. Or at least money.â
You smiled without meaning to. âHeâs⌠trying.â
âOh?â Jiwoongâs brows rose. âThat was not your tone last time we talked.â
You looked down at your cup. âItâs complicated.â
âI assumed it would be. You did marry a man who glares for sport.â
You shot him a look.
He leaned in, resting his chin in his palm. âBut go on. What did he do? Save your life? Apologize with a bouquet? Cut off his own arm in penance?â
âNo,â you said, cheeks warming. âHe⌠stayed with me. When I was sick. Took care of me himself.â
Jiwoong blinked. âAnd?â
You frowned. âWhat do you mean, and?â
âI meanâis that all it took?â he said, mock-scandalized. â[reader], I took care of you when you had a cold once and all I got was your brother threatening to exile me.â
You rolled your eyes. âIt wasnât like that.â
âWasnât it?â
You were quiet for a beat.
Then: âHe held my hand. All night. He didnât have to.â
Jiwoongâs teasing faded just slightly. He tilted his head, watching you.
âAnd how do you feel about him now?â he asked.
You hesitated. Sipped your tea. Avoided his gaze.
âThat bad?â he said gently.
âNo,â you murmured. âNot bad.â
He leaned back in his chair, smiling like a fox whoâd already found the prize.
âWell,â he said, lifting his cup to toast you. âIâm not saying youâre in love, butâŚâ
You glanced up.
âYouâre closer than you think.â
You looked away quickly, but something inside you jolted.
The words echoed as you sat there, tea warm in your hands, the scent of jasmine curling in the air.
You didnât want to admit itânot even to yourselfâbut maybe he was right.
Because lately, Rickyâs name didnât sound like frost anymore.
It tasted like warmth.
CHAPTER FIVE: THE CONFESSION THAT PROGRESSES IT ALL
The tea room was quieter now.
Jiwoongâs echo still lived in the cushions â in the jasmine-soaked air, in the slight smudge his rings left on the porcelain. His warmth, his chaos, his knowing gaze. It had all vanished the moment he walked out.
And yet, you sat there. Still.
Fingers curled around your teacup, now lukewarm.
You werenât sure if you were savoring the moment or hiding from the one that would come next.
The hallway creaked softly.
Your gaze liftedâand there he was. Ricky, standing by the threshold. Not quite in, not quite out.
You hadnât even heard him approach.
He didnât speak. Just studied you in that quiet way of his, unreadable eyes drifting from your face to the abandoned tea set, then to the second cup still half full.
He stepped forward.
âI didnât know you liked jasmine,â he said at last.
You nodded. âItâs my favorite. My motherââ You caught yourself, then finished softly, âShe used to bring it back from the eastern markets when I was a child.â
He didnât sit across from you. Instead, he circled around and picked up the second teacupâJiwoongâs.
He sniffed it, eyes narrowing just slightly, then set it back down with care. âHeâs bold. Your friend.â
You smiled. âHeâs loyal.â
There was something unreadable in Rickyâs posture. Not exactly tense. But not relaxed either.
âHe said something to you,â Ricky said. âAfter I passed him on the stairs. I could tell.â
You blinked. âYou were listening?â
âNo,â he said. âBut I noticed. Your face changed.â
You looked down at your tea.
âHe said I seem to be falling for you,â you admitted.
A pause.
You could feel itâthe silence between you stretching, winding tight like a pulled bowstring.
âAnd are you?â he asked, apprehensive.
Your eyes flicked up to his.
But he wasnât teasing. He wasnât cold.
Just⌠there. Waiting. Open in a way he hadnât been before.
âI donât know,â you said honestly. âI think Iâm starting to want to.â
His jaw moved slightly. Not clenchedâjust thoughtful.
He reached across the table.
You froze.
But he didnât touch your hand. Just the edge of your sleeve, brushing away a tiny tea stain.
You watched his fingers. Long, careful, slightly trembling.
âThank you,â you said, barely audible.
âI didnât do anything.â
âYou stayed.â
His hand paused.
You looked up againâand something in his gaze cracked, just for a second.
âIâll keep staying,â he murmuredâa tender promise.
THE STUDY HAD GROWN WARMER since the first time youâd entered it.
Back then, it felt like a war room â all cold stone, iron candleholders, scrolls stacked like shields. Now, it breathed with a softer kind of stillness. A few fresh peonies sat in a shallow dish near the window, and the fireplace crackled steadily, offering golden light against the long table.
You sat at the far end, sleeves rolled just enough to write, a thick stack of estate ledgers and correspondence open before you.
He sat at the other.
You had both been working in silence for nearly an hour.
And yet⌠it wasnât uncomfortable.
Rickyâs head was bowed as he scanned one of the farming contracts from the outposts near the river. Every so often, his brow furrowed and he made a note in the margin. It was strange â seeing a man who once held a sword with such command now holding a quill with equal focus.
And yet⌠fitting.
You have spent weeks beside him now. Not always talking. Sometimes just existing in the same space. And still, there were moments like this where you caught yourself watching him too long. Wondering who he was before he became a duke. Before duty shaped his shoulders.
âDid you always want this?â you asked, softly.
He didnât look up at first.
Then, slowly: âWhat. The estate?â
You nodded.
He leaned back in his chair, quill lowered to the table.
âNo,â he said. âI didnât want any of this.â
Your hands stilled on the page.
âI wanted to be a soldier. At first.â His voice was steady, but something in it had dulled â like a blade turned blunt from overuse. âWhen I was twelve, I begged my father to let me join the outer battalion. I thought it would make meâI donât know, worthy? I thought⌠maybe if I was good enough at protecting something, heâd stop looking at me like I was a burden.â
You watched him. He didnât meet your eyes.
âI trained harder than anyone. I was better than men twice my age by the time I was fifteen. But it didnât matter. He still sent me away to fight battles that werenât mine, just to get me out of his way.â
âIs that where the scar on your shoulder came from?â you asked quietly.
He glanced up, a flicker of surprise on his face. âYou noticed that?â
âYou took off your coat once. Near the fire. I saw it.â
He didnât answer for a moment.
Then he nodded. âYes. First winter skirmish I led. I lost fourteen men that day. I was nearly the fifteenth.â
You closed your ledger.
Something about his tone told you this wasnât a story he shared often. Maybe never.
âI think,â he said after a while, âI stopped feeling like a person back then. Everything was about surviving. Winning. Keeping the North strong. But I stopped knowing who I was outside of that.â
Your voice came before you had time to think.
âYou were a child.â
He looked up sharply.
âYou shouldnât have had to carry all that alone,â you said. âIt wasnât fair.â
His expression didnât change. But his throat worked like he was swallowing something down.
âMaybe not,â he said. âBut no one ever told me that before.â
A silence settled between you. Not sharpâjust soft. Like snow.
âI donât think youâre cold,â you said suddenly. âNot really.â
His eyes met yours.
âI used to think you were. In the beginning,â you admitted. âBut now I see itâs not coldness. Itâs⌠armor.â
He didnât speak. But something in his posture eased.
You hesitated, then added, âI think I understand it now. Loneliness doesnât always feel loud. Sometimes it just makes you quiet.â
His gaze dropped again. To your hands. Your ink-stained fingers.
âAnd you?â he asked. âWere you lonely too?â
You took a breath.
âYes,â you said. âBut not in the same way.â
You turned slightly in your seat, facing him more fully.
âI was never on the battlefield. But I spent most of my teenage years in bed. Sickness after sickness. Fevers that left me too weak to walk. My nurses tried to be kind, but I could hear their whispers. âPoor thing. Too fragile.ââ
You folded your hands in your lap.
âEveryone thought Iâd break if I did anything remotely taxing,â you said. âSo they stopped letting me try.â
He looked at you. Fully now. No armor.
âI always wanted to dance at court,â you said with a weak smile. âBut my body wouldnât let me. I wanted to ride, to fence, to run. But I couldnât. So I read. I studied. I dreamed. And every time I got better, I fought harder to do just one more thing they were sure I couldnât.â
A beat passed.
âYou fought, too,â he said, voice soft. âJust a different kind of war.â
You looked at him. Really looked.
And something in you warmed.
âMaybe thatâs why I admire you,â you said. âYou didnât give up. Even when it cost you parts of yourself.â
His brows drew togetherâlike he didnât know what to do with praise.
But then he said, quietly, âThatâs what I thought⌠about you.â
You blinked. âMe?â
âI never said it,â he continued with a small nod, âbut I used to wonder how someone so often in pain could still look that composed in public. You wore silk and jewels twice your weight. You smiled, even when I knew you were cold.â
He leaned forward slightly.
âI didnât realize it then. But I see it now. You were fighting, too.â
You felt your throat tighten.
âWhy are you telling me this now?â you asked.
âBecause,â he said, âI think Iâve started seeing you for who you are. Not just who I expected. Who I admired.â
A pause.
âAnd I want you to see me, too.â
Something in your chest cracked open.
Slowly, wordlessly, you reached across the table and placed your hand near his.
He didnât move for a moment.
Then, inch by inch, he covered your hand with his.
No pressure. Just presence.
No one spoke.
But everything was said.
THE BEDROOM WAS QUIET except for the sound of the fire.
You lay on your side, facing him across the small stretch of space between you. He wasnât under the covers yet â just sitting at the edge of the bed, half in shadow, hands loose in his lap.
Youâd gotten used to this⌠the way you occupied the same room now. How it wasnât quite awkward anymore, but not entirely comfortable either. A strange, heavy peace. Something unnamed but not unwelcome.
âYouâre staring,â you said softly.
He didnât look away. âSo are you.â
You huffed a laugh. âTouchĂŠ.â
He finally turned, pulling the blanket over his legs. You watched the way his jaw shifted as he settled beside you, still a little stiff, still unsure of how to be near you.
So you closed the gap.
Just a little.
Reached forward, fingers brushing his cheekbone.
He flinchedânot in fear, but in surprise. His eyes widened.
You kept your touch featherlight.
âYou always look like youâre bracing for battle,â you whispered. âEven in bed.â
His lips twitched. âHabit.â
You let your palm rest gently against the side of his face. He didnât pull away. His shoulders dropped a little â and then a little more.
âDo I make you nervous?â you teased.
He swallowed. âNot nervous. JustâŚâ
You waited.
He didnât finish.
Instead, he leaned into your touch, eyes softening in that rare, unguarded way. The way he only looked at you when he thought you werenât watching.
You opened your mouth.
And so did he.
âIââ
The fire popped sharply, a log splitting open with a loud, crackling burst.
You both froze.
The spell shattered.
You drew your hand back. He cleared his throat and turned onto his back, eyes on the ceiling. You mirrored him after a second, heartbeat loud in your ears.
Neither of you spoke.
But your fingers drifted slightly under the covers.
And when they found his⌠he let them stay.
THE GARDEN HAD CHANGED.
Where once frostbitten branches had hung bare and brittle, soft petals now danced in the wind â blush peonies, pale narcissus, crocus in quiet bloom. The warmth enchantments worked better than expected, drawing life from the ground like it had been waiting all along.
You sat on the stone bench beneath the archway, fingers toying with the hem of your sleeve. The winter sun peeked through the glass ceiling, gentle and golden.
Behind you, footsteps echoed.
You turned just in time for a familiar figure to appear at the edge of the pathâdark cloak, Eastern seal stitched at the collar.
Han Yujin.
Finally, after a long wait, your beloved brother was free from his duties and able to visit you.
Your brotherâs smile was slow and fond as he approached. âSo this is the infamous Northern garden, hm? Looks more like a conservatory now.â
You stood to greet him, letting him pull you into a tight hug.
âItâs beautiful,â you murmured. âHe had it warmed⌠for me.â
Yujin glanced around, one brow raised. âDid he now?â
You rolled your eyes, but didnât deny it.
He walked a few steps ahead, crouching to brush his fingers along the base of a camellia bloom. âYou look better,â he said softly. âLess pale. Still tired, though.â
You smiled faintly. âItâs been a long few weeks.â
He nodded, then stood, folding his arms as he turned back to face you. âJiwoong told me a little. Said youâre adjusting. Slowly.â
There was a pause.
You both knew what was coming.
âI justâŚâ Yujin tilted his head. âI want to ask you something.â
You gestured for him to sit beside you.
He did.
And then: âWhat are you waiting for?â
You blinked.
He didnât look at you when he said itâeyes still on the garden, voice low.
âYouâre healing. Heâs trying. Youâre no longer strangers. So why do you still look like youâre holding your breath every time someone mentions his name? You know we arenât enemies anymore. The grudge is done and goneâ
Your heart squeezed.
âIâm notââ
âYou are,â he said gently.
He turned to look at you now, gaze soft but unrelenting.
âWhat are you afraid of?â
You inhaled, fingers curling slightly over your skirt.
âI donât know.â
âYou do.â
You hesitated. Then admitted, âIâm afraid⌠it wonât last.â
He nodded once.
âAnd if it doesnât?â he asked. âYouâll survive. You always have.â
You closed your eyes for a moment.
Then, softly: âI think⌠Iâm afraid that if I love him, and he doesnât love me back⌠I wonât know how to go back to being strong again.â
Yujinâs voice was quiet. âYou donât have to be strong all the time.â
You looked at him.
He smiled. âNot alone.â
The wind shifted. A few petals scattered across the stone path.
âYouâve always been brave,â he said. âEven when you were sick, even when Father made things harder than they had to be. You still stayed kind. You still stayed you.â
He paused, then added:
âDonât let fear of loss stop you from choosing love.â
Gosh, when has your baby brother matured so much?
Your throat tightened.
You didnât speak.
But your eyes drifted across the gardenâtoward the doors that led back inside. Toward the room where Ricky might still be.
Waiting.
Just like you were.
YOU FOUND HIM in the sitting room, legs stretched out along the velvet couch, hair slightly mussed from what looked like a failed nap.
A book sat closed on his chest. His eyes, however, were openâas if heâd sensed you coming before you even touched the doorknob.
Ricky didnât sit up immediately.
He just blinked, and then said, âYouâre back.â
You walked in. Quietly. Lightly.
âI didnât leave for good,â you said. âYou think Iâd leave you alone with the estate documents?â
He huffed a quiet sound â somewhere between a laugh and a sigh. âI hoped.â
You raised a brow. âAre you saying Iâm bad company?â
âIâm saying you scold me more than Gyuvin, our steward, does.â
You placed a hand over your chest in mock betrayal. âI scold you because I care.â
That made him pause.
You didnât mean for it to come out like that. But it hung in the air anyway, soft and glowing.
He sat up slowly. His shoulders looked less heavy than they did last week.
âDo you⌠want to sit?â he asked, nodding to the space beside him.
You did.
The couch dipped as you curled your legs under you. Not too closeâbut close enough that your knees brushed when you shifted.
âI talked to Yujin,â you said. âHe says you look better fed than when we first saw you in the wedding hall.â
âHeâs not wrong.â
You laughed. âHe also thinks you have no fashion sense.â
Ricky tilted his head. âHe was wearing fur-lined shoes. Indoors.â
You covered your mouth with your hand. âHe says theyâre Eastern couture.â
âTheyâre ridiculous.â
âDonât say that in front of him. Heâll challenge you to a duel.â
âIâve fought worse,â he deadpanned.
That made you laugh. Bright and real.
And he laughed tooâquietly, but genuinely.
The sound lingered for a moment.
When it faded, you turned to him.
Your voice was soft. âI care about you, you know.â
He blinked. Almost startled by how gently you said it.
âI didnât expect to,â you added. âBut I do. And I want to try.â
He didnât answer right away. Just looked at you.
Thenâcarefullyâhe reached out and tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear.
âI want to try too,â he said, voice barely more than a breath. âIf youâll have me.â
Your heart stuttered.
But you smiled.
âGood,â you whispered. âThen weâll start here.â
And when you both laughed againâthis time softer, shyâit wasnât just laughter.