#jaydickdami

Only Damian noticed him.

At first he thought it was just Jason getting out of bed. Jason dealing with another nightmare alone, Jason getting a rare late night drink, or, hell, maybe it was already morning and Jason was, for once, waking up before him.

But that was impossible, he realized quickly, as Jason’s arm was still tight around his torso. Fingers still spread across his stomach, forehead still pressed tenderly against the back of his neck.

Not to mention the breeze, cool and crisp, coming from the balcony doors that were definitely supposed to be closed.

He opened his eyes, just a sliver, and saw the silhouette sitting there. Not crouched, not standing, but just sitting. Casually, on the railing, hands braced at their sides, ankles crossed, as if they – he – belonged there.

And Damian realized, as his heart fluttered and stuttered and jumped for simultaneous joy and agony – he did.

The blue slash across his chest shone in the moonlight. The shadows of his hair looked tussled, and Damian was so annoyed that it was the wind, not his fingers, or Jason’s, that made it so.

Damian shifted his hand downwards underneath the covers, intertwined his fingers with Jason’s and squeezed them, hoping to stir the other. He was a light sleeper, so it didn’t often take much, but even after the gesture, all Jason did was let out a deep snore.

Unfortunate, because Jason deserved to see him too, but fine.

Gently, he held Jason’s hand up, and began to slip out from underneath it.

“No,” Dick whispered, and when Damian glanced up, he saw that Dick had straightened, toes reaching for the surface of the balcony. “No, don’t get up, you don’t have to…”

Damian scoffed. Rolled his eyes as kissed Jason’s knuckles, placed them onto the sheets and pulled the blankets back up Jason’s body, even as he pulled away from the mattress.

He watched, to make sure Jason was truly undisturbed, silently hoped he wasn’t, before glancing coolly over his shoulder. “Too late.”

Dick sighed, crossed his arms and looked away, even as Damian spun on his heel and started towards him.

“…I missed you.” Damian tried softly, glancing up at him through his lashes as he reached him. The wind blew and he crossed his arms too, trying to hide his warmth, Jason’s lingering body heat, within the confines of the old t-shirt.

(The t-shirt he stole from Jason, but judging by how worn it already was, not to mention the faded Bludhaven Ice Hockey insignia and logo across the front, it had probably been lifted from Dick, a long time ago.)

Dick peeked over at him, and his pouting cheeks suddenly melted into a smile. He let his arms drop, stepped forward, closed the already small space between them, ghosted his hands across Damian’s sides. “I missed you too.”

“What are you doing here?” Damian asked, resisting all urge to collapse into the implied embrace waiting for him.

“What, I can’t just…want to see you?” He looked over Damian’s shoulder at Jason’s next snore. “Both of you?”

Damian remained silent.

Dick’s smile faltered. “I’m on a case for the League.” A pause, then softer. “I wanted to stop by. Though I…I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Damian stared up at him, fought to show any emotion, and pondered his words.

Pondered what he knew they meant.

“…You’re not staying.”

Dick’s fingers dropped from his hips. Turned away. “No.”

“Of course not.” Damian spat. Had half a mind to slam the doors in Dick’s face and go back to the warmth of Jason’s arms. “Because that’s not how Nightwing does things, right? Staying with those he claims he loves is too boring for such a free spirit.”

“Damian, please.” Dick spun back, gripped Damian’s biceps so hard it almost hurt. “Spyral hasn’t quite gotten word that I’m here yet – I wore this old get-up for a reason, it’ll take them just that much longer to find me – but when they do, they’ll come after me. No matter what Helena says to delay them, they’ll stop at nothing to force me back into their fold.” He paused to take a breath, to squeeze Damian’s arms and shake him a little. “And you two are not a risk I’m willing to take. Not ever.”

“So you ignore us completely for months at a time, appear without warning for a few hours, and do this all in the claim of protecting us?” Damian countered. But he didn’t pull away, and Dick took that as a good sign. “Please, Todd and I are more than capable.”

Dick let his smile return. “And no one knows that more than me.”

Damian pursed his lips, then sighed in resignation. Turned slightly, to look back into the room. Pulled a little, moving towards the bed. “At least…at least let Todd know you’re here?”

“It’s already going to be impossible to let go of you.” Dick murmured, quickly yanking Damian back into his space. “Adding Jason will just make it worse, for all of us. And I’m already short on time.”

Damian looked down, and Dick was forced to swallow the lump in his throat. Slowly, he leaned forward, brushed his lips across Damian’s cheek and lingered there. Closed his eyes and pressed his mouth harder.

“Wait for me?” He begged. He pleaded. Just like he did every time.

And the response was automatic. No thought to it, and no lie either. “Always.”

Just like he said every time, too.

Dick leaned back, ran his hands up Damian’s arms to cup his jaw. Leaned down again to kiss him properly. Not too deep, but not without the meaning he didn’t have the time to properly show. Damian didn’t uncross his arms, but dropped his weight a little, let his head become heavy in Dick’s hands.

“Kiss Jay for me?” Dick asked, pressing their foreheads together. “Kiss him every day, until I can do it myself.”

“Normally I am too busy kissing him for myself.” Damian quipped. “But…I’ll see what I can do.”

Dick hummed a laugh. Kissed Damian again, quickly, then released him and backed away. “I’ll come home soon.”

“You better.” Damian ordered as Dick hopped to the railing. “Because…Grayson?” Dick looked back. “This is not okay.”

Dick looked guiltily down. “I know.”

“You will force Todd and I’s hand soon. If you don’t return…then Todd and I will have to move on. Without you.” Damian pressed. “And…and we do not wish to take that option.”

“A little more time, Damian. I promise. Just a little more time.” He tried to smile with encouragement, but Damian didn’t buy it for a second. “Just. Wait for me. Please.”

And for as many times as Dick asked that of Damian, he himself didn’t wait for Damian to reply.

Nightwing was gone once more.

Damian didn’t brood in the silence, turning immediately back into the bedroom, closing the doors behind him and latching them tightly. He scrambled back to the bed, was less gentle this time as he pulled back the blankets, lifted Jason’s arm and dove back underneath it.

This time, Jason did stir, as Damian pressed himself tight against his throat. “Hm…baby?” A sniff. “Morning already?”

“No. Go back to sleep.”

Jason paused, shifted to run his fingers underneath Damian’s shirt and up his spine. Twist his other arm under and around Damian’s head. Despite his positioning, Damian could feel him frown. “You’re freezing.”

Damian burrowed deeper, clutched at Jason’s naked waist. “It’s fine, Beloved.”

“It’s n-” Jason cut off midway. And Damian doesn’t know what gave it away. What evidence Jason saw or heard or caught, unless Dick had come back one last time. Was still lingering on the balcony. “…He was here, wasn’t he.”

Damian could only nod.

“Fuck.” Jason breathed. Curled tighter around Damian’s body. Damian felt the agony in his fingertips as he raked them through Damian’s hair, clung tight to the ends. “You should’ve woke me up, babe. I would have beat him unconscious and tied him to the bed.”

“He’d have slipped the binds before you moved off the mattress.” Damian sighed. Jason’s harsh chuckle told him the elder agreed. “…I miss him.”

“Me too.” Jason hummed, arm tightening over Damian’s hip.

“I want him to come home.” He sniffed. “I want him to come home permanently.”

“Me too.”

“Have we…have we done some thing to keep him away?” Damian asked, shamefully hearing the desperateness in his own voice. “Despite his words while he’s here, is it…is it really so much better out there, alone? …Without us?”

Jason started to shake his head but then slowly let it die off. Buried his face in Damian’s hair and whispered, “I honestly don’t know, beautiful.”

“…I don’t know how much longer I can do this, Jason.” A quick hesitation to chide himself for the slip, using a name he swore he’d only use out of love, not while in fear. A moment to inhale, close his eyes, and dig his nails into Jason’s skin. “I don’t know how much longer I want to.”

Jason didn’t say anything at first, just loosened his grip on Damian’s hair, began stroking it gently. “…Then maybe we shouldn’t.”

It was a hard thing for Jason to say, Damian knew. Because he adored Dick just as much as Damian did. But that was why Damian loved Jason in the first place – because he was smart, and real. Held nothing back, no matter how much it hurt. Did what all of them were so bad at. Put himself, and thus Damian, first, before anyone else. Focused more on picking up the pieces – both his own and Damian’s – than the pain and lies that caused it all.

Because Damian just kept saying I. Kept making it all about me, me, me. My pain, my heartache.

And here, still, Jason just said we.

He knew Jason was hating himself right now, for missing Dick’s visit. For being unable to hold and kiss him himself. For accidentally leaving Damian to deal with it on his own. Was actively choosing to ignore his own self-loathing to help Damian through his unhappiness.

And for all the misfortune Damian had, for his terrible family, his past mistakes, his anger and emotional problems, for his inability to keep proper hold of Dick Grayson – he still couldn’t believe he was so lucky as to have Jason Todd.

Slowly, he leaned up, pressed a kiss to Jason’s chin. Held him closer, tighter, in a way that silently said No matter what, I am never letting go.

Because he loved Dick, they both did. And it broke his heart that the third of their trio wasn’t here, hadn’t been here in ages, and seemed to be planning to stay away for ages more.

The ultimatum he’d given Dick was much closer than Damian had implied it was.

But Damian didn’t want to think about it anymore. Didn’t want to think about him, anymore. Because right now, he was angry. Anguished. Because right now, Dick didn’t deserve to invade his brain, and every thought. Because right now, the most important person in the world, as it always was, was the one here in his arms. Normally, as it was supposed to be, there were two. Two human beings, two souls Damian held dearer than any other. As it had been for the past months, and was looking to be from here on out, there was only one.

Jason shifted his head, pressed his forehead to Damian’s, brushed their noses together, cocooned him completely, even as the younger pushed against him, and echoed his thoughts.

“No.” Damian whispered, closing his eyes, and feeling Jason’s lashes as he did the same. “Maybe we shouldn’t.”