#jaycatalyst

By Jay Catalyst

Yeah— once, long ago, you were mine.

But since then, I’ve built new bridges, found other friends, stitched new threads into my life.

Still… a few tangled strings kept us loosely bound.

I moved on. You didn’t.

I left because I was done— done with the lies, the cheating, the way you twisted truth until I doubted my own reflection.

You made me feel like it was all in my head. So many nights, I almost lost it. So many times, I almost wished I was gone.

Your control sat on a throne where love should’ve been.

But now— I’m alive again. I’m living for me.

And though you say you’re glad to see it, I see the strain behind your smile. Every kind gesture I offer, you treat like a breadcrumb trail back to us.

Santa Claus isn’t my name. My name is Catalyst, babe. And I haven’t changed.

I’m not coming back to the one who preferred to shatter me further instead of helping me rebuild with the pieces I’d already laid bare.

I’m kind by nature— that’s who I am. But don’t confuse compassion for invitation.

Every “good morning” isn’t a door reopening.

No. Emphatically— no.

I care. That’s my power. Even for those who never deserved it.

By Jay Catalyst

Every moment isn’t the same. Every moment’s a gift— a prayer to let it stay.

Nothing has felt the same since you came my way. I feel like an architect, building a place for you to lay, nestled in my heart— where you’ve stayed.

No moment mirrors the last. You’ve changed me. You’ve saved me.

I love the way you hold space for the broken pieces I carry. You’ve been through hell and still choose love. You must be an angel sent from above.

I love how your hands find my face, re-centering me, holding me down— almost as good as when you say my name.

And that smile— that smile is what makes me wild. It’s the part of you that unravels me, until the real me crumbles to the power of you.