Munich, Germany: A fly fisherman stands in the river Isar during warm autumn weatherPhotograph: Christof Stache/AFP/Getty Images
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“If you could do it, I suppose, it would be a good idea to live your life in a straight line—starting, say, in the Dark Wood of Error, and proceeding by logical steps through Hell and Purgatory and into Heaven. Or you could take the King’s Highway past appropriately named dangers, toils, and snares, and finally cross the River of Death and enter the Celestial City. But that is not the way I have done it, so far.
I am a pilgrim, but my pilgrimage has been wandering and unmarked. Often what has looked like a straight line to me has been a circle or a doubling back. I have been in the Dark Wood of Error any number of times. I have known something of Hell, Purgatory, and Heaven, but not always in that order. The names of many snares and dangers have been made known to me, but I have seen them only in looking back.
Often I have not known where I was going until I was already there. I have had my share of desires and goals, but my life has come to me or I have gone to it mainly by way of mistakes and surprises. Often I have received better than I have deserved. Often my fairest hopes have rested on bad mistakes. I am an ignorant pilgrim, crossing a dark valley. And yet for a long time, looking back, I have been unable to shake off the feeling that I have been led—make of that what you will.”
Jayber Crow: A Novel (Port William) by Wendell Berry
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We walked always in beauty, it seemed to me. We walked and looked about, or stood and looked. Sometimes, less often, we would sit down. We did not often speak. The place spoke for us and was a kind of speech. We spoke to each other in the things we saw.
Reading slowed a bit this month because 1) most of the books on my list were printed or digital rather than audio and 2) I had a lot of other projects on my plate, so if I couldn't listen to a story, I wasn't getting through it very quickly. As always, I got to the end of the month with a bit of spare time in which I crammed several books. I'm only going into April with one book unfinished, and I'm starting to think I may put it down anyway.
Total books: 8 | New reads: 5 | 2023 TBR completed: 2 (0 DNF) / 7/25 total | 2023 Reading Goal: 29/50
February | April
#1 - Busman's Honeymoon by Dorothy L. Sayers - 5/5 stars (audio)
see note from last month about me screaming into the carpet
#2 - The Traveler by E.B. Dawson - 4/5 stars ('23 TBR, audio)
I should put an actual review here but at present I'm just reeling over the crew's collective inability to back anything up. Vital research documents? Not backed up. Super important evidence? We only have one copy. Years' worth of work on very personal issues? Yeah it's right there in plain sight and oh no now the villain has it.
People. Please. BACK UP YOUR WORK.
#3 - The Blue Castle by L.M. Montgomery - 5/5 stars (reread, audio)
I am completely normal about this book. Extremely normal.
Also it occupies the same shelf in my brain as both The Secret Garden and The Unsettling of America. Do with that what you will.
#4 - Balanced and Barefoot: How Unrestricted Outdoor Play Makes for Strong, Confident, and Capable Children by Angela J. Hanscom - 4/5 stars ('23 TBR, audio)
More instructional rather than the largely-informational book I was expecting, and not as engaging as I was looking for, but I still learned things! And now I’m itching to go camping….
#5 - Prince Caspian by C.S. Lewis - 4/5 (reread)
I've always been pretty neutral about this Narnia book. It's comfortably familiar while at the same time I saw things I hadn't really noticed before, little details I missed the last time I read it (whenever that was) or that were probably cut in the Radio Theater production.
#6 - Jayber Crow by Wendell Berry - 5/5 (audio)
I don't read a whole lot of literary fiction, and what I do read tends to be hit-or-miss. This one was a hit. Beyond that, I can't really articulate much. One of those "hold on, I need to process this" sort of books.
#7 - The Creeping Shadow by Jonathan Stroud - 4/5 stars
Stroud's writing style is enviably enthralling. I hate him. And I'm delighted that Lucy and Holly are reconciled. Holly's untaming was a marvel to behold.
#8 - The Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis - 5/5 (reread)
This installment of the series used to occupy a lower spot for me than Prince Caspian, but I liked it more on this read-through. Maybe it's the pace. Maybe it's Eustace.
DNF
The Hands of the Emperor by Victoria Goddard - The concept was beyond intriguing, and the opening images reminded me of The Goblin Emperor for some reason, but the writing failed to grab me. The voice itself was bland, but also...vague? Not immersive, I guess. It feels unfair to give up so soon on such a large book but there we are.
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“If you could do it, I suppose, it would be a good idea to live your life in a straight line—starting, say, in the Dark Wood of Error, and proceeding by logical steps through Hell and Purgatory and into Heaven. Or you could take the King’s Highway past appropriately named dangers, toils, and snares, and finally cross the River of Death and enter the Celestial City. But that is not the way I have done it, so far. I am a pilgrim, but my pilgrimage has been wandering and unmarked. Often what has looked like a straight line to me has been a circle or a doubling back. I have been in the Dark Wood of Error any number of times. I have known something of Hell, Purgatory, and Heaven, but not always in that order. The names of many snares and dangers have been made known to me, but I have seen them only in looking back. Often I have not known where I was going until I was already there. I have had my share of desires and goals, but my life has come to me or I have gone to it mainly by way of mistakes and surprises. Often I have received better than I have deserved. Often my fairest hopes have rested on bad mistakes. I am an ignorant pilgrim, crossing a dark valley. And yet for a long time, looking back, I have been unable to shake off the feeling that I have been led—make of that what you will.”
But Love, sooner or later, forces us out of time. It does not accept that limit. Of all that we feel and do, all the virtues and all the sins, love alone crowds us at last over the edge of the world. For love is always more than a little strange here. It is not explainable or even justifiable. It is itself the justifier. We do not make it. If it did not happen to us, we could not imagine it. It includes the world and time as a pregnant woman includes her child whose wrongs she will suffer and forgive. It is in the world but not altogether of it. It is of eternity. It takes us there when it most holds us here.
