#jay core

fast forward a few months and seb and chris are officially Seb and Chris and he still feels that same slightly awed, slightly overwhelmed sensation every time he gets to look at seb but it's even better because now he can touch. chris has known, objectively, that he is attracted to men - has had one night stands and third dates with guys before but none that have quite mattered this much. and certainly none that have lit him up from the inside like this.

seb is, naturally, kind and patient and understanding, even the first time that he bottoms for seb and thinks that he might pass out from the sensory overload and he cannot possibly look sexy in the slighest and then seb pushes in deep and laughs when he comes like someone's just told him they've added an extra 60mph to the amr21 in time for the final straight, mouth pressed to the side of chris' face, so much joy and elation and love that it's got nowhere else to come out except in this incredulous laughter and chris thinks it might be the hottest thing he's ever heard.

the thing is, seb has been the instigator for a lot of this. he's slowly and meticulous fingered chris open, checking at every movement that it's all okay and that he's comfortable. he's fucked himself on chris' cock like the culmination of every wet dream he's ever had. he's sweetly coached chris through sucking him off, a gentle guiding hand on his head and a low constant murmur of praise and encouragment the whole way through. but chris is a grown up with this growing adoration in his chest that he hasn't felt since his first girlfriend when he was seventeen, love and lust making him stupid with it, and he needs to express it.

"would you please just let me do this?" he insists, forcefully taking seb's hands off of the button to his jeans and putting them on the bed, either side of his naked body. seb's got this curious look in his eye, like he's trying to figure out what kind of game they're playing and why chris is insisting on having his clothes on for it, but he allows it, let's chris lie him down on the bed and kiss him - his mouth, his jaw, his neck, the shell of his ear. and then he moves on.

(he is, at his core, an engineer. he breaks things down and rebuilds them professionally - he likes to know how things work, how the smallest individual parts come together to make a fully functioning item and he knows, in his heart, that seb would appreciate that same logic being applied to him. one part scientific process, one part act of devotion. understanding the greater picture, find a little confidence in digging his fingers in, and show seb he's willing to put the work in.)

it's strangely methodical. he works his way from the delicate bones of seb's hands, down his arms, delights in the ticklish spot on the inside of seb's elbow. he kneads the strong muscles of his shoulders, runs his tongue along the line of his deltoid where it dips under the clavical.

(he still feels clunky and awkward tracing his tongue over seb's nipples, like he's doing something weird or embrassing even though he knows full well that he's isn't, until he distracts himself when seb shoots off the bed with a squeak, chris having apparantly found another ticklish spot on his ribs. he runs his fingers over it again and again until seb is cackling on the bed, gasping for air, and then chris bites at it, and the noise seb makes is the same but oh so different-)

the entire time, seb watches him intently. chris carefully catalogues which spots make him hum contently, which ones make him giggle and flinch, which ones make his breath catch in his throat, but seb repays the concentration with his own. when chris kneels on the bed and presses his mouth to the solid lines of seb's abs, he whimpers.

"would you please just touch me?"

"what do you think i've been doing all this time?"

"chris-"

by the time he's caressed over his legs, dug his thumbs into the arches of seb's feet, they're both distractingly hard. seb drags him up his body to kiss him, messy and hot and unlike seb usually lets himself get, and they finish each other so quickly they'd both be embarassed if they weren't so out of breath.