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Homestucklog Generator

So, yes, we're back to the Homestuckese. It's like they say, you can take me away from the Homestuck, but hahahaha no you can't.

So a while ago, by which I mean at least a month ago, before I first created this tumblr, I was reading some Homestuck fanarts and whatnot. I had just caught up for the second time (it was at the point where Vriska shows John the black map, in case anyone feels like tracking the cronology), and going through withdrawal.

One of the few that caught my eye was the idea of "guardian swaps", in which the idea is that if the (human) kids were raised by another guardian, they would be different in such and such way. So they had (for example) Rose as the Seer of Breath, Roxy as the Rogue of Time, stuff like that. And I thought, "well, that's dumb. The aspect should be nature. The class should be nurture."

Later, thinking about Kankri and Roxy's Mom, I realized they are both innate. But that's beside the point.

The point being that I was immediately overtaken with the "I could do better" feeling (I couldn't). And, being the kind of person I am, the first thing I did was make a diagram of all possible combinations of (human) classes and aspects, trying to plot which ones would make for interesting write-ups. I still have that thing and it may be sort of interesting on its own right, but it's not what I am presenting. Not today.

Edit: In which I realized I should have included a cut in this thing, since it does not even work without my CSS, which of course the various other views do not have. Sorry to anyone who may have caught me in the act of fixing stuff. The good news is that I learned to do cuts via the HTML editor.

The second thing I set up to do was try to write some things about the combinations that caught my attention, since actually drawing anything would be way outside of my capacity. Some of the things I wanted to write were "You are X, your interests are Y, Z, Ψ" introductions, while others were dialogues among the kids or between them and the trolls (who are presumably otherwise unchanged). These dialogues I wanted to write in the full style of the -logs in the comic, which, predictably, spiraled into a whole project.

That, then, is finally what I am presenting here. It is not really a game this time, but a tool. It contains a mock-up chat client in which you log conversations, and it then returns you the CSS and HTML needed to include these conversations in webpages, such as this one. For example:

Show GameFAQslogHide GameFAQslog

: I'd be inclined to dispense with the trite even under less pressing circumstances.

: Neddless to say I'll forego the inscrutable ASCII banner which typically heralds the striking freefall of these documents.

: I'll also resist the urge to brandish any copyright marks, or the particular neurosis that concerns itself with the theft of the utterly mundane -- I'll allow other deranged prospectors to stake claims on their worthless plots as the woods burn around them.

: My introduction will be sparse.

: There will be no majestic prose blustering into the sails of a galleon as we embark on this voyage together.

: Nor will there be any hamfisted prose whipping its limbs under a bedsheet like a retarded ghost, for that matter.

: I won't set the stage, or dim the lights.

: The mood, you will see, will be set soon enough.

My lord?

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

I AM BUSY.

TRYING TO GET "THE HANG" OF THIS...

STUPID

COMPUTER TOWER

THING.

Yes, I can clearly see that.

I'd like to offer my assistance.

NO.

WHO EVEN ARE YOU?

AND WHY SHOULD I CARE?

I am but your humble servant, sir.

Trying to be of use.

BULLSHIT.

YOU WANT TO MAKE FUN OF ME.

WITH YOUR STUPID WHITE TEXT THAT IS HARD TO READ.

I will admit that this is not the best environment for my words to be read.

Yet my intention to aid you remains all the same.

Also, the key you are looking for is under the keyboard.

WHAT?

Lift the keyboard, with your hand.

The key is under the base.

OH, FUCK. IT IS.

WHO THE HELL DESIGNED THIS STUPID COMPUTER ANYWAYS?

I SWEAR WHEN I FIND WHOEVER IS RESPONSIBLE, I WILL KILL HIM.

I WILL FILL HIS BODY WITH SO MANY BULLETS THAT THEY WILL NEED A GODDAMN BUCKET TO PICK HIM UP.

IT WILL BE GLORIOUS.

Yes, you will. And you did.

And it was indeed glorious, very good job.

WELL, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STILL HERE?

SO YOU FOUND THE KEY. I SUPPOSE YOU WANT ME TO EXPRESS MY "GRATITUDE".

Not particularly.

GOOD.

YOU CAN GO NOW THEN.

Very well. Do try to enjoy your adventure, sir.

And remember that, no matter how things look, you will eventually reach all your goals.

In fact, you are already there.

UGH.

JUST, GO AWAY ALREADY.

ARE YOU GONE? GOOD.

ALRIGHT, NOW TO PRESS THIS STUPID KEY.

Show FuturelogHide Futurelog

FUTURE nepetaVantas [FNV] 34 DAYS from now opened memo on board HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

PAST carcinoGeneticist [PCG] 42 HOURS AGO responded to memo.

PCG: WAIT, WHAT?

Also you can use it to do plain stupid things, such as:

Show

logHide

log

GT: Whoa momma.

I think that should be enough marketing. Hope it catches the attention and interest of at least some people, as this is something that I think "the community" could use. Well, this here is the thing. If you see it, please help spread it. This is the one thing that I'd be truly sad to see languish in obscurity.

Some more fun facts about it.

You cannot save progress in any way. I toyed with a number of ways to achieve that, but it proved beyond my capacity.

The coding is actually very poor, as this has been edited by me enough times to probably qualify some parts as "legacy code". Even if it has been a short legacy. It still works, but there is a lot that could be improved, if the prospect was not so daunting.

Since the pre-scratch trolls don't really exist outside of the games, except for Meenah and Aranea, I was originally going to not even bother with them. But after realizing that they talk in the exact same colors as Feferi and Vriska, respectively, I went ahead and gave them all their descendant's colors. Kankri got' Future Karkat's red, from the 10 minutes long infinite conversation with himself, because that's probably his real blood's color, and Kankri clearly does not hide it.

Also, only later did I realize that Kurloz is mute and really should not have been included. But, it was too late and removing him would have been too much trouble.

In general, the history of whom I added and in which order could paint a reasonably decent picture of what I added when, though perhaps only for me, because I know both things already.

Which leads to the point that I will continue updating this as the need arises. I added Equiusprite just now, while writting this, for example. So whenever there is a new character or something, you can probably come and check back to see if I added it, if you want.

And, of course, the little edit barrage mini-debacle means that you pretty much have to use the HTML editor to upload these things to your tumblr. The "rich text editor" will mess them up. Sorry if you were not used to that, but it's not that bad, I promise.

I think that should be all. Comments and suggestions are welcome, of course. (Also, merry santasmas. I did not plan that, funny enough).

Edit again: So it turns out that I am an idiot after all, and posted the wrong url. Only noticed because I came back to post the upgrade. By the way, Arquiusprite was just added. (Link is right this time).

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