#jasperjoordan

THE 100

@jasperjoordan you asked for this pain iva i hope ur happy

bellarke + “dying is a lot more painful than i thought it would be”

Clarke didn’t see the shot that took Bellamy down but she felt it rip through her heart as though it was her that had taken the bullet.

She thinks she screams as she watches him fall but she’s so focused on getting to him, has to get to him now, that she only registers what happens next when her hands are dragging him into her lap and her fingers are cradling his cheeks.

He coughs and she almost weeps because he’s still with her, she hasn’t lost him and he hasn’t been torn from her forever.

“Bellamy! Hey, hey! Stay with me!” She’s panicking, trying to focus but all she sees is red seeping through his once blue shirt. She vaguely registers that there’s too much red, then promptly dismisses it because, no. No, she will not lose him.

“Well, shit.” He grimaces, lets out a sigh as his body sinks back into hers. 

Bellamy groans, gritting his teeth as a tremor of pain ricochets through his body. “Dying is a lot more painful than I thought it would be.” He tries to chuckle but it’s cut short as he starts to choke on the blood rising from his throat.

“You are not dying! I’m going to fix this, just stay awake!” She’s scrambling to put pressure on the wound in his chest as he lurches forward to spit blood onto the ground. It’s too close to the heart, way too fucking close.

“I don’t think I’m walking away from this one, Clarke.” He grabs the hand she’s currently pressing into his chest, covers it with his own and squeezes weakly, his other hand rising to cup her cheek.

“Yes you are, Bellamy! You are!” She squeezes back and clings to him desperately, pushes her cheek into his hand more firmly, uses his touch to ground herself so she can think. She just needs a second to think and she can save him. She’ll keep him here by pure force of will if she has to. She will not let him go.

“You can’t save everyone.” Bellamy’s eyes are becoming glassy as he fights to keep them on her face, smiling even through his pain.

“I can save you.” She swears, bending forward to press her forehead into his.

“You already did, princess. Every day since we met.” His voice gets weaker, losing its volume as he talks.

She weeps at the familiar nickname, feels his hand start to lose its grip on hers as he begins to slip away.

“No! I love you! I love you, Bellamy, please, please, don’t leave me!” She pulls back to meet his eyes one last time, begging anything that will listen to just give them a little more time.

“Love you too.” He smiles, half agony, half joy. Shudders, breath catching as she leans in to press her lips to his. 

Clarke feels him return the pressure for a few precious seconds before he exhales against her mouth and goes limp, hand falling from her face.

She knows she screams then.

Tagged by @iishallbelieve, @jasperjoordan,  @cominguproses13x and @iwearplaids. Thank you <3<3<3

What is the colour of your hairbrush? black

Name a food you never eat? turnips, shiitake mushrooms, shellfish

Are you typically too warm or too cold? too cold

What were you doing 45 minutes ago? eating tarte while watching “Dangerous lies” on Netflix

What is your favourite candy bar? currently: Lindt’s white chocolate with strawberry cheescake

Have you ever been to a professional sports event? yes

What is the last thing you said out loud? “I think her husband has something to do with all this.” or something along these lines (concerning the movie, s. no. 4)

What is your favourite ice cream? Ben & Jerry’s Topped salted caramel brownie

What was the last thing you had to drink? coffee (with a dash of milk)

Do you like your wallet? yes

What was the last thing you ate? S. no. 4

Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? no

The last sporting event you watched? i can’t even remember…

What is your favourite flavour of popcorn? dunno... don’t eat much popcorn... but definitely no salted

Who is the last person you sent a text message to? at phone like with my messenger/Whatsapp? Then it’s my mum

Ever go camping? when i was a very young, yes, with my family

Do you take vitamins? yes

Do you go to church every Sunday? no

Do you have a tan? no, i sunburn very easily... i try to avoid direct sunlight

Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? pizza (and pasta)

Do you drink your soda with a straw? no

What colour socks do you usually wear? white or black

Do you ever drive above the speed limit? i don’t drive

What terrifies you? illness... death... loss...

Look to your left, what do you see? my giant elephant foot plant next to my armchair with my “Raven Reyes”-pillow on it ;)

What chore do you hate? nearly everything that has to do with the houshold (cooking, cleaning etc.pp.)

What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? that it’s an australian accent? (and maybe a little bit of Bob Morley and Eliza Taylor now)  <- I completely second that ;)

What’s your favourite soda? mineral water

Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? none (i can’t even remember the last time i was there... too long ago)

Who’s the last person you talked to? my sister on the phone, yesterday

Favourite cut of beef? filet

Last song you listened to? “Who knew” by Pink

Last book you read? "Spiegelzeit” by W. u. H. Hohlbein

Favourite day of the week? Saturday

Can you say the alphabet backwards? what for? (xd)

How do you like your coffee? (S. no. 9)

Favourite pair of shoes? my burgundy Converse sneakers

The time you normally go to bed? weekdays: between 10 and 11 pm; weekends.... um... sometimes past 3 am... ;) (i am definitely a night owl)

The time you normally get up? weekdays WITHOUT homeoffice: 4.50h, weekdays WITH homeoffice: 5.50h; weekends: between 10 and 12 am

What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunsets

How many blankets on your bed? one

Describe your kitchen plates: omg what? They’re... kind of watercolored and turning from white at the edge to a very bright and then (in the middle) a darker shade of blue with little “freckles” everywhere (i LOVE my plates - but it’s not easy to describe them...;) )

Do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage? i like wine (rosé) as well as beer (the darker the better) and long drinks... hard to choose...

Do you play cards? i used to when i was a kid and teen - especially with my sister

What colour is your car? don’t have a car

Can you change a tire? (s. above)

Your favourite province? in my homecountry? north frisia (the whole coast of the north sea)

Favourite job you’ve ever had? i’ve been an employee at a health assurance all my life so… can’t answer that

How did you get your biggest scar? i fell... when i was a child... my left knee had to be stitched up back then

What did you do today that made someone else happy? It’s sunday. I’m usually doing NOTHING on sundays. ;) But... does cleaning the terrarium of my hammy count? He DOES seem happy about it... ;)

Moodboard for “Hold me still” by @jasperjoordan

Yeah, I’ve noticed that a lot, too. In general, Bob is very talented at acting through body language (we also see that when he tuns his back to Josephine, for instance), but the way he seems to fidget is interesting, to say the least, especially because it always seems to be in relation to Clarke? He does it in 6x01 as well, before they discuss the radio calls. 

Anyway, from my limited understanding of body language people tend to rub their hands when they’re nervous or emotionally stressed, because it gives them a sense of comfort. So when Bellamy rubs his hands together while crying and grieving Clarke by the lake, he could be trying to comfort himself because no one else is there to do it. 

I knew you'd understand, Iva! It's becoming a Thing.

But in 2020, we're gonna turn that into a full-blown ritual. We're gonna romanticize writer blocks and fall across couches and misuse furniture for our feral instincts. We will say we are Gutted, Blocked, go full wild. Howl at the moon and sniff out the atmosphere before whimsically exclaiming: "Ahh no, this will not do. I must depart immediately." We will wear our WIPs like ridiculous hats stacked on top of our heads. WE WILL BE ARTISTS!1!