Totally didn't realize it was Wednesday. Luckily @hobo-apostate tagged me to remind me!
Anyway, here's a bit from Chapter 16 of Space Trash. This chapter will also feature a beautiful piece of art by @schoute that I ADORE! Peeks of both below the cut.
Jules shook her head slightly, her forehead rocking against his. âI miss her. Feeling her heart beating, hearing her breathing, knowing everything that happened on the Herald. Iâve never been just me. Just in this body. But this, youâŠ.I feel safe and loved and...home,â she admitted, swallowing the knot in her throat. âYou feel the same and nothing has ever made me feel more. Even without the Herald, Iâm important to you.â Her voice warbled with mixed emotions, more than he could recognize.Â
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Itâs here! The burn is over! Thereâs a teaser below the cut and you can find the whole chapter here! I hope you like smut because this chapter is over 9k and is 90% raw, unadulterated garbage. Enjoy!
Jules didnât know where to go or who to turn to. She was beyond mortified and loathed anyone finding out about Cullenâs rejection, but at the same time the thought of being alone was too much to bear. Bull knew, but there was no way she would get all the way down to the hanger without being seen. Her frantic attempt to zip up her coveralls had resulted in the zipper pull snapping off. Sheâd left her shirt in Cullenâs room so the only thing keeping her covered was the tight grip on both sides of the top of her suit.Â
At some point, she noticed Jasoom walking beside her, or rather trotting to keep up with her quick steps. Jules found herself letting him lead as he slipped in front of her. Up to the next level and then toward the front of the ship. He led her in a circuitous route to the mess hall and then further into the Officerâs Club. She suspected he was keeping her away from those walking through the corridors.Â
The Officerâs Club was also empty, save for El who sat behind the bar reading a book with her chin rested on her hand. Jules realized that she was exactly the right person to see and silently thanked the cat for leading her there. The elf didnât notice her until Jules tried and failed to hold back a choking sob. El looked up sharply and her eyes widened. Her book fell to the bar, immediately forgotten as she moved around quickly to meet Jules in the middle of the room.Â
âSweetheart, what happened to you?â She was mostly alarmed at Julesâs state of dress. She quickly drew the black and blue plaid shirt from her shoulders, revealing one arm covered in intricately designed tattoos from shoulder to fingers. âYou put this on and Iâll lock the door.âÂ
Jules let the top of the jumpsuit fall, sliding on the soft flannel and buttoning it up with shaky fingers. She tied the arms of her coveralls around her waist before hugging herself. El took her elbow gently and led her to the nearest table, pulling a chair out for her.Â
âFirst, are you hurt?â El asked gently, sitting beside her and leaning in without invading her space. Jules shook her head, eyes glittering with tears. âDo you want to tell me what happened, or do you just want me to sit with you?âÂ
âI ruined everything,â Jules declared in a shaky whisper. âI told him about-â she hesitated, looking down and away from Elâs concerned gaze, âI told him about before. Before all of this. The First Commander of the Herald-I thought it was my job-he told me it was my job to have sex with him. Cullen and I were-we were-âÂ
âItâs okay, take your time,â El said gently when Jules was quiet for a moment, unsure of what to say. Julesâs shoulder rose and fell and she put her hand on it, rubbing the muscles that were growing tight from the repeated nervous gesture that had plagued her entire trip to the bar.Â
âHe asked me about my past, with other men and I told him. I didnât really want to, I was scared but I didnât want to lie to him. I should have lied.â She looked up at El, tears streaming down her cheeks again. âThe way he looked at me, like I was dirty. He backed off like I had burned him. I was so stupid to think that I could-âÂ
âAbsolutely not.â Elâs stern voice interrupted her. âThere is nothing stupid about you, sweetheart. I promise you that Cullen doesnât think that youâre âdirtyâ or used or anything else you may be thinking about yourself. I think he was surprised by your answer. Everyone on this ship can easily see that heâs smitten with you.âÂ
She shifted her weight on the chair. âPut yourself in his shoes. Someone you care about, who has never had it easy, is starting to open up. Youâre seeing them grow and smile and make friends. And then you find out that someone took advantage of them in such a profound and intimate way at such an incredibly vulnerable moment. Iâm not saying that how he reacted was right, but I can tell you that I donât think he meant for it to happen the way that it did.â Elâs gentle voice made her want to cry, but for a completely different reason than before.Â
âCan I call someone for you or take you home?â Her smile was contagious and Jules found herself forcing one as well.Â
âYou're working. I shouldn't have bothered you."
"Nonsense. You're never a bother." El stood and watched with a smile as Jasoom jumped onto the table, then Julesâs shoulder before the woman herself stood. They walked back to her quarters in silence and Jules was simply grateful for someone who was willing to listen and not judge. Just be with her. âTake your time, maybe a hot shower and a nap. If youâre feeling better, you should go talk to Cullen.âÂ
âTalk to Cullen about what?â Morganâs voice surprised her and she looked over Elâs shoulder to find him standing in his doorway. He was apparently on his way out and at the most inopportune moment.Â
âNothing,â Jules tried to reassure him quickly. He looked skeptical and Jules was sure her tear stained cheeks and red eyes spoke volumes. Morgan nodded absently and walked away.Â
âYou know Morgan wonât judge you. If you want to talk to someone, you could talk to him too.â El suggested.Â
âHeâll be so mad,â Jules countered, wringing her hands nervously.
âNot at you babe.â El smiled and squeezed her arm. âHeâll be mad at that long-dead fucker who doesnât have to deal with the consequences of his actions. Will you be okay by yourself or do you want me to stay with you?âÂ
âI think Iâll be okay. Do you really think Cullen isnât mad at me?â She hated to ask for reassurance, especially since El had already said as much, but she needed to hear it again.Â
âIâm sure the only one heâs mad at is himself.â El chuckled and gave her arm a gentle squeeze. âYou know where to find me if you need me and if you call, Iâll be here in five minutes or less.âÂ
âThank you, Elbereth. Especially for not thinking less of me.â Jules spoke softly, as if she were afraid saying the words would reveal that she did think less of her.Â
âI donât see that ever happening.â The elfâs contagious smile left her with a little bit of warmth after sheâd departed.Â
Cullen paced his room, fists clenched and jaw tight. Moron. Idiot. Fool. Heâd searched all over for her. Each of the engine compartments, parts rooms, anywhere she might go to distract herself with work. She didn't answer her door. Heâd even reached out to Cass, Zevran and Bull to see if theyâd seen her. No luck.Â
The chime of his door made his head snap up. As it slid open, he started to speak, ready to go into the apology heâd been going over obsessively in his head. Instead, pain exploded in his cheek and he suddenly found himself on the floor with lights flashing behind his eyes. His vision cleared and he found Morgan standing over him.Â
âI told you I would fucking kill you. Did you think I was joking?â His voice was low and aggressive. âHow long has she been crying?âÂ
Cullen brushed the back of his hand against his cheek and corner of his mouth, relieved to find it free of blood. âDid you see her?â He sounded far too excited for Morganâs liking.Â
âShe was going into her room and it looked like sheâd been sobbing. Think very carefully before you answer; what the fuck did you do?â Cullen already knew by the tone of his voice what would happen if Morgan didnât like the answer. While he might normally have a fair shot at beating the younger Trevelyan, Morgan had fury on his side this time and that was a very powerful thing.Â
âI over-reacted and said something stupid.â He sat up, propped up with one arm behind him, the other rubbing his sore jaw. âThe old Commander of The Herald wasâŠ.I donât know if itâs my place to say.âÂ
âYouâd better try,â Morgan growled.Â
âHe was raping her.â Cullen was reluctant to reveal Julesâs secret. âThe worst part is he convinced her it was her job. Made her go to him willingly.â The last word dripped with disgust. âWhen she said it was because he was the First Commander-the thought of her being with me because of my title-I didnât react well. By the time I realized what Iâd said and how it could have sounded to her...she was gone. Iâve looked everywhere for her. Her comms are off and no one has seen her. Jasoom isnât answering me. I donât know what to do, but I need to apologize. I need to set things straight. If she never wants to see me again, Iâll go back to Haven and run the Inquisitionâs army from there but I have to at least tell her first. âÂ
âTell her what?â Morganâs narrowed eyes softened slightly.Â
Cullen sighed, roughly running his hand through his hair. âHow I feel about her.â He shook his head slightly with a huff of a laugh. âIâd tell you what that is, but she should hear the words before anyone else. If she still wants me to leave, Iâll go willingly. Or, you can kill me and jettison my body into the cold depths of space.âÂ
Morgan grinned then. âYouâre sweet on her. More than I thought you were. As long as you know that you still deserved that punch. Iâm not even a little sorry about that.âÂ
âYouâre completely right,â Cullen agreed, rubbing his sore jaw, âI did deserve that.âÂ
âI saw her going into her room with that cute little elf from the bar. I know you want to talk to her, but give her some time. Let her come to you.â Morgan meant for it to come out as friendly advice, but it was slightly more menacing than that. Regardless of Cullenâs intentions, his aunt was hurting. The aunt heâd come to think of as a sister. âAnd now you know that I wasnât fucking around.âÂ
Cullen snorted when he laughed and accepted Morgan's outstretched hand to pull himself back up.. âThat was never in doubt, Trevelyan.â
Wow. Look at me go. WIP Wednesday on an actual Wednesday!
Tagging for funsies: @kittimau, @charlatron, @kemvee, @sarenkascrawls @lostinfantasies38, @schoute, @pookydraws, @cornfedcryptid, @bigfan-fanfic, @darlingrutherford, @kauriart. There are so many other lovely people too! Share your hot messes in action too!
This is a scene from the next chapter of Space Trash in which we meet an OC created by @charlatron!
Julesâs eyebrows furrowed. âEveryone just wants to talk. Itâs exhausting, saying the same thing a dozen different ways. They make it so difficult and I donât understand why. It should be easy.âÂ
El nodded sympathetically. âPolitics require a unique form of communication. Itâs one that not even the people who speak it fully understand. Honestly, I donât know if youâll ever get the hang of it.âÂ
Jules frowned and looked up at the elf again. âYou donât think so?â She sounded disappointed.Â
âNo, but that isnât a bad thing.â Elbereth sat up again, leaning toward Jules. âSometimes they get so lost in the talking they forget what theyâre supposed to be working toward. A new voice is a disruption and sometimes disruption is what you need to break the cycle and get results. You arenât a politician or diplomat, but thatâs a good thing, Jules.â
 âI donât even understand why they want me there. Iâm just a Flea.â Jules reached up to scratch Jasoomâs head when he pushed it against her cheek.Â
âYou arenât âjustâ anything.â El gave her a brilliant smile. âYou are a marvel, and weâve only begun to see what youâre capable of.â
Hereâs an excerpt from Space Trash Chapter Six. (Again.)Â
You can read it here if you so wish! If you do, leave me a comment to let me know how you liked it! (Comment on all the fan fiction you read! Spread the love!)
Since he was sleeping peacefully Jasoom would get no affection here. He jumped off of Morganâs back and into the swirling black mist again.Â
He landed on the floor of Cullenâs room. The man didnât seem to notice him. He was hunched over his small table, his fingers raked through his hair as he rested his head against his palm. A half-eaten plate of food was pushed to the edge of the far side. The smell of the roast beef called to him. He sat down beside Cullenâs chair and meowed.Â
He looked down at Jasoom and let out a chuff of a laugh. âWhat a surprise. Lucky for you I donât have a dog. I am a dog person, you know.âÂ
Jasoom jumped up onto the table with a âmmrrpâ and sat down on his reports. He licked his chops, looking back at Cullenâs plate. The man chuckled and reached around him to grab a piece of beef. He tore it into small chunks, feeding it to Jasoom one at a time. Once heâd eaten the entire piece, Jasoom licked the back of his paw to clean his face. Cullen smiled and simply enjoyed the momentary distraction from his work.
âIâve gotten used to you popping in every night, but itâs still a little weird. What are you?â He wondered, scratching under Jasoomâs chin. The cat started to purr, raising his head to give him better access. Part of Cullen expected the cat to actually respond, not with words but in his own, unique way. âHave you finished your rounds yet tonight?â He asked, amused.Â
Jasoom looked up at him, regarding him with the blue galaxies trapped in his eyes. There was something oddly comforting about them. Like the feline knew what was going to happen and that it was all going to be okay. Jasoomâs tail flicked, sending a paper onto the floor. Cullen bent down to pick it up and when he sat back up the cat was gone.