#jared fluff

“Dad,” you groaned as he tugged you along through the parking lot. “Oh my God. Dad.”

“Am I embarrassing you?” he teased. “Come on, you used to love tailgating the games last year.”

“Well now I actually go to this college so you know, odds are I see someone I know,” you said.

“You want to sneak a beer while mom’s not looking or not?” he asked.

“Oh mom doesn’t care,” you said. “She says don’t be a dumbass is all.”

“Y/N.”

“I’ll be on as good of a behavior as you are,” you said with a smile.

“Had to be a little smartie,” he mumbled, throwing his arm around you, pulling you into a noogie.

“Dad.”

“There’s some cute boys over there. Want me to say hi?” he laughed.

“I will murder you,” you said, your dad chuckling as he stopped at the back of the Ackles’ truck.

“Who we murdering?” asked Jensen, sipping on his beer from his lawn chair.

“Father. Potentially,” you said.

“You just let me know when and where, kiddo,” said Jensen.

“Dude,” said your dad, taking a beer out of the cooler.

“Eh, I’m joking. Mostly,” said Jensen, your dad rolling his eyes as he handed you a beer. “Oh. Look at the rebel.”

“Uncle Jay,” you said. “You literally gave me my first-“

“Ahhhhhh,” he said, Jared crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow. “Your child is delusional.”

“Well I knew that,” said your dad, digging through the back of the truck and tossing some sunscreen at you.

“Dad.”

“Don’t complain when you get a sunburn then,” he said.

You groaned as he smirked, heading over to the grill close by.

“You do burn pretty easy, kiddo,” said Jensen.

“I know, I know,” you said, rubbing some cream into your skin. He stood up and got the back of your neck and shoulders where you’d missed a few spots. “Where are the kids?”

“Bathroom trip. You know that guy over there is checking you out,” he said.

“No he isn’t,” you said, cracking open your beer. You took a sip, Jensen chuckling as he walked over towards the grill. “Tell dad I want a hotdog please.”

“Mhm,” he said.

You felt a poke on your shoulder and you spun around, staring straight at Billy Dalton’s bare chest.

“Hey, Padalecki,” he said with a smirk. 

“Hi,” you said, forcing your head to stay up and not at his shirtless chest. 

“You mind if I borrow some of that sunscreen?” he asked.

“Sure,” you said, handing over the tube.

“Thanks. I didn’t think you were much into football,” he said.

“My family’s always been super into UT football since we moved here,” you said.

“I thought you were local,” he said.

“I had an untraditional childhood,” you said with a smile. “But I’ve been here since middle school.”

“Me too. I was always too tiny to play football at my school if you can believe it,” he said.

“Really? I totally thought you were a jock...and that sounded so bad.”

“It’s cool, Padalecki. I played baseball and I got a 4 on my AP English test. Complete package right here,” he said.

“Seriously? No one in my school scored a 4,” you said.

“Life was very interesting being the dorky cool guy,” he said. “Trying to leave that behind now that we’re in college and all that.”

“You’re an English major, right?”

“Education. I’d like to be an English teacher though,” he said.

“My grandma was an English teacher,” you said.

“Seriously? That’s awesome,” he said. 

“Hey, Y/N,” said your dad, wandering over with a smile and a hot dog for you. “Who’s your friend?”

“This is Billy. He’s in my English 203 class,” you said.

“203, huh. You must be a reader then,” said your dad.

“Mhm,” you said, your dad still smiling at you. “Thanks.”

“Hey Billy. How old are you?” he asked.

“Twenty.”

“Twenty and you’re a freshman?” asked your dad.

“I had to take a year off after high school. My dad was in a bad car accident over that Fourth of July that year. I stuck around home to help out,” he said.

“Well that’s a very selfless thing to do,” he said with a nod. “Y/N, you can go hang out with your friends if you want.”

“Mhm,” you said as he walked away. “Sorry about him. He likes to you know, be a dad and harass his children.”

“That’s cool. Mine’s the same way. Thanks for the sunscreen, Padalecki,” he said as he turned to go. “You uh, want to grab lunch after class Monday?”

“Sure.”

“Cool. See ya, Padalecki,” he said. You smiled and turned around, your dad and Jensen sipping on a beer at the back of the truck with shit eating grins. “What?”

“I smell a boyfriend incoming,” said Jensen.

“She knows what she’s doing,” said your dad with a smirk.

“I will tell mom and Aunt De what you two got up to last weekend unless we never discuss this again,” you said.

“How is she so scary for being so tiny,” said Jensen.

“I learned if from you two,” you laughed, throwing your head back. “Shit, I forgot to get the sunscreen back.”

“Take it from two previously twenty year old boys. He kept it on purpose,” said your dad.

“When was that? 300 B.C.?” you asked.

“Why don’t you go get back my sunscreen or I’ll tell your parents what you got up to last night,” said Jensen with a smirk.

“I thought you were staying over your friend Sara’s,” said your dad. 

“Of course I did,” you said, shooting Jensen a look. He sipped on his beer and smiled. 

“Oh yeah. Of course she did,” he said, knowing very well you called him and asked him for a ride and to crash in their guest room when you partied a little too hard the night before.

“I hate you both,” you groaned as you headed back towards where Billy was with his friends.

“Love you too, kiddo. Now hurry up. Game starts soon.”

In the dank recesses of Happy Meat Farms HQ, there was a room darker and dingier than the rest. It was a room that few ventured near, but the inhabitant of the room didn’t mind too much. He was never very good with people anyway. He was content with spending his days there staring at the computers, helping Mother in any way he could.

He loved the work he did in IT, genuinely. Every new person or problem was a fun little puzzle sent his way. The hard ones were always the best. Victoria was probably his favorite. He had to search deep in her files to find the hair incident. He had never felt more pride than when he sent that information up to HR.

Something wet and soft nudged against Jared’s hand. One of the mutant dogs had taken a liking to him and lived with him in his room. He had named it Bobbo. Bobbo stared at him, begging for affection that Jared was more than happy to give. He scratched the bottom of Bobbo’s chin slowly and carefully so that his metal hand did not break skin. It wouldn’t faze the mutant mutt, but Jared always felt bad.

A loud thud outside of Jared’s door made him jump in his seat. If he didn’t know any better, he would have thought someone knocked on his door. But no one knocks on his door. Someone must have dropped something outside again. He returned to petting Bobbo, but when the thud occurred two more times, he couldn’t ignore it anymore.

Jared opened his door enough so that his center eye could be seen. It was the new guy, Wesley. He vaguely remembered getting his file when he was first given his Muse, but Jared never got anything after that. He must have been very eager to join the family. Or very desperate. Or both.

“Hello?” Jared’s voice was scratchy from lack of use.

“Hey, man,” Wesley replied with the usual chipper attitude of the others. Jared had never been very good at putting that mask on, but he didn’t need to with his role. “We were throwing a company party, and I figured I would let you know.”

“A party?”

“Yeah, I think it’s something that human businesses do to celebrate milestones or holidays.” Jared rolled his two eyes that were out of view. He knew what a company party was. He could remember a few from before he joined the family. That wasn’t the part he was confused about.

Wesley handed him a flier through the crack in the door. “It’s going to be tomorrow at 8 in the evening. See you then?”

“If I finish my tasks, then maybe,” Jared answered before promptly closing the door.

He looked down at the poster. It was very well made. Someone from the art department must have put it together. Jared tossed it to the side. Wesley was new, so he probably didn’t know how things worked yet. No one talked to Jared, so Jared didn’t talk to anyone. And Jared was fine with that.

Bobbo caulked his head in confusion. Jared shrugged before continuing with his work.

The next day, Jared was where he always was. In his room, working in the dark. It was a surprisingly light day. With the final phase being so near, there were not as many hosts that needed motivation, so it was mostly tidying up the files that he was sent. 

Jared pushed his swivel chair through the walls of servers to the TV he had set up in the back. He had been a good boy, so he deserved a treat. He pulled out his Spongebob box set, and searched for the right episode. He settled on “Ghost Host”. The Flying Dutchman had always been a favorite character of his.

Just as the theme song got into full swing, Bobbo started barking. Jared shifted his left eye so that he could see the dog at the door staring at him.

“Do you need to go out, boy?” he asked. He slowly got up from his chair, feeling the pops and cracks from a long day of work. He opened the door, but Bobbo didn’t go bounding down the hall like he normally did. Instead, he stayed on the threshold, staring at Jared.

Jared rolled his eyes. “Do you want me to go with you?”

Bobbo immediately bounded the hallway. Luckily, the dog would stop and wait for Jared before turning a corner. Otherwise, Jared would have lost him before he got out of his room. 

As Bobbo continued to twist and turn through the halls, Jared recognized his surroundings less and less. This was definitely not the normal way that Bobbo went to go outside, but Jared quickly shrugged it off. Perhaps, Bobbo just wanted to go for a walk. As long as one of them knew how to get back. Jared would never in a million years have guessed what was on the other side of the door Bobbo just ran through.

As Jared burst through as well, every head turned towards him. Most of his family, many of whom had gone through digestion, but some who had not yet, were clustered in various groups of three or four. Some were sitting at the tables that had neatly been set out. Others were in the middle grabbing more food from the long table off to the side covered in a variety of meats.

It was a party. The party that Jared had had no intention of going to. The one that he had just bursted into like he had. Everyone was staring at him. Was it normal for people to stare at the new arrival to a party? It doesn’t seem like it should go on this long. Either way, he was stuck here now. If he ran, Mother, how he wanted to run, that would be worse. Maybe if he stood there long enough, they would stop staring. Maybe-

“Jared! Hey, man.” Wesley walked over and ushered Jared into the room. Thankfully, everyone else turned back to their own conversation. 

Wesley led Jared over to a table where Mark, Antonio, and Carl were sitting. He remembered those three well. Or, there human forms at least. They had all been a handful before they joined the family. 

“Hey, Jared,” Antonio greeted, “Oh hey, great job with the information for the Drawing Room. It really stopped Mark from being difficult. At least for a little bit.” He turned over to Mark. “No offense.”

Mark shrugged. “None taken.”

“Uh…thanks.” Jared remained standing, looming over the four. The chairs were designed for humans, so he had to. He missed his special chair.

“It’s great to see you out and about, Jared,” Carl said, “It’ll do you some good to get away from those screens from time to time.”

Jared stared, confused. “You all… want to see me?”

They stared at him. Why do people always stare at him?

“Of course, we do,” Mark chuckled, “Why wouldn’t we?”

“Because I came out incomplete. I am not fully Jared the human the host, but I am not Jared the muse either. I figured that’s why no one ever talked to me.”

The look they all gave him sent shivers up his spine. Why did they all have to look at him with such big, pitiful faces? It was fine. He didn’t mind the isolation. He liked being alone…right?

“Oh shoot, Jared we’re sorry,” Wesley said.

“We always thought that you were just a private guy,” Carl added, Do you…want us to come visit more often?”

Jared was surprised with how quickly he answered. “That would be acceptable.”

On that note, the five continued to make small-chat and enjoy themselves. Jared would tell stories about particularly tricky hosts while the others discussed their own troubles with their hosts. By the end of the party, Jared was sitting down on the floor with Bobbo curled up in his lap. He found himself stretching out his farewell to his family, his friends, for as long as he could. When he got back to his room, he smiled genuinely for the first time in a long while.

Jared's has finally finished his time with the supernatural production, but he still looks like Sam, and not saying that I don't like the look I actually really do like the look, but I think Jared's having a hard time letting go of the show because of his look.

"Honey?" Jared said last night as he was making dinner. I hummed and looked up from the computer. I was trying to figure out the best schools to put our daughter in. Even though we still had months left before our daughter was here I still was worrying.

"Do you think I'd look bad without my long hair?" He asked. I dropped my shoulders and looked at my husband. My husband of five years now had always had issues with his appearance, and the show somewhat helped him, but now... Now it was doing the exact opposite.

"What are you asking dear," I said crossing my fingers together before resting them under my chin on the counter. He looked down at the floor, before answering my question fully.

"I'm asking you if you think I should cut my hair, to try and process the idea that I'm done with Supernatural. I don't know if I should, or if you'll even like it." My husband said rushing his words from his mouth.

"Baby, it shouldn't matter what I'll think of you after or even if you want to get your hair cut You should know that I'll always support you no matter what," I said getting off the stool and walking towards my tall husband.

"but there's something holding me back from growing and moving on to another shower like 'Walker' y'know." He rested his hands on my belly, before looking towards me. I smiled, reaching a hand up to his cheek.

"How about this. Tomorrow we can cut your hair here at home, so if you hate it you can blame me." I said smiling at him. He leaned into my touch and laughed before leaning down to kiss my forehead and got back to making dinner.

The following morning, Jared was up early. Already finished his workout and had made me breakfast. I woke up to the smell of coffee and bacon from downstairs. When I got downstairs Jared was swaying along to the music coming from his earphones. And flipping a pancake.

"baby?" I asked. he turned and took out the earbud before and coming kissing my lips and grabbing my hand to drag me over to the kitchen table. "breakfast will be ready in a second." he said before rushing back into the kitchen and bringing me my morning water since I was pregnant I didn't do coffee anymore.

We sat in comfortable silence before Jared brought up the subject of last night's dinner. "You sure you're still okay with me cutting my hair dear." He asked. I set down my glass of water before answering him. I smiled and spoke. repeating my phrase from the night before.

"Jared if you want me to do it. I will, but know that no matter how you look I will always love you because of your heart, and soul." I said reaching over and placing my hand over his.

He smiled, "And we do it now?" he asked as I shoved a fork full of pancake into my mouth. I giggled and shook my head. He got up and got a pair of scissors from the kitchen drawer. He set them on the table and slipped his shirt off. Always so damn hot.

But that's how we got here with me being five months pregnant, so focus y/n. He sat back down looking more happier than he had been in the past few weeks since.

I got up taking a long sip of my water. Grabbing the scissors from the top of the table. I took a deep breath, "Honey grab me your brush." I said to Jared, he was out of the chair and back into it quicker than you could nougat.

After brushing his hair, and making sure his hair was pretty unknotted, and perfectly laying on his shoulders. I grabbed the scissors, checking once more with my husband. “Jar are you sure that you’re okay with ME cutting your hair?” I asked before I just started chopping at his long locks.

Jared smiled before answering me. “Of course I trust you baby.” He said kissing my hand that was on his shoulder. Taking a deep breath I left Jared’s shoulder, now behind him, I petted his hair down one last time. Loving the texture of his hair under my fingers, loving the way it drug through my fingers. Loving the crisp wintery smell that always wafted from him as he walked around the house.

I settled down after taking in the last time I’d be seeing my husband with long hair for a while. I grabbed a section of hair at the certain of his scalp and took my scissors to town. Chopping and cutting letting the hairs fall to the floor and before I knew it I had done all of his head. A large pile sat at the bottom of the floor.

“I really hope you like it,” I said dragging my finger through his hair before shaking off any regiments of longer hairs onto the floor of our dining room. “Let me go grab you one of my compact mirrors for you to use,” I said taking the scissors with me and putting them back into their respectful place before grabbing my compact mirror from my pocketbook at the front door.

I clicked it open loving the sound of the snap. I handed it to Jared awaiting an answer a comment literally anything. My anxiety getting the worst of me I started to panic. “I knew you weren’t going to like it,” I said stomping my foot on the hardwood floor.

He turned setting the compact mirror on the table. “Y/n I love it.” He said standing up letting the chair hit the floor with his fast motion before grabbing me for a huge and long embrace.

Warm and safe

“Thank you so much, baby! You don’t know how much you just saved me.” He said kissing my forehead before reaching his pointer finger under my chin and bringing it up to look up at him.

“You did fantastic baby.” He said before taking my lips with his. Soft warm and safe was Jared Padalecki and damn was I happy to be married to one and be a part of the marvelous family we already had and we currently creating.

Jared closed his script. “So, let them.” For a second, you thought he was going to make a move, come closer to you. Touch you. God, how you wanted that, especially today. 

All day long, you hadn’t been able to get your mind off the sex scene that was scheduled to be filmed that afternoon. Here, right in the middle of this light hearted, feel good, movie was one of the steamiest sex scenes you’d ever read, or maybe that was just because you were picturing Jared in it. 

It was a challenge to remain professional and not let jealousy take control of you. An actress was about to crawl into bed, basically naked with him, while he put his hands and lips all over her. Weren’t these kinds of movies supposed to be about laughter, finding yourself, maybe helping some people? Who said anything about sex?

The next time you saw Jared, he’d be wearing nothing but a sock to cover his most private parts; and that woman, the tall thin example of what society called physical perfection with the full pouty lips and long glossy hair, would be topless and waving her boobs in his….

With that thought, you tightly squeezed your hands around the copy of the script you were holding until it was starting to fold and crease. “Y/N, are you okay?”

Your answer was crisp and to the point. “Jared, you need to go get ready for the next scene. Hair and makeup will need some time with you.” You didn’t state the obvious, that wardrobe wasn’t much of a factor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had taken you a good part of your life to come to terms with the fact that you were not classically beautiful. You had relied on that old “eye of the beholder” cliche, understanding that objectively you were not the woman that men turned to stare at when you walked into a room. You’d finally come to accept that, even though deep inside every girl wants to feel pretty.

The most devastating blow had come when you’d fallen in love with acting. It didn’t take long to realize you would never be the leading lady. Naively, you had auditioned for parts like that, thinking talent would get you one of those roles. The result was, after a number of rejections, you felt unattractive and resigned to the fact that your future in this industry was behind the camera. 

That’s where you were now, checking the framing and angles for the shot. The set had been cleared of all but essential personnel due to the nature of the upcoming scene. It was unusually quiet except for the thoughts raging in your head. It still stung that you weren’t “the beautiful one”. That long present wound was enough to give doubt about your blossoming relationship all the fertile soil it needed in which to grow. 

Maybe Jared was flirting with you, taking you to his bed, trying to get close to you because it would help his career. Your heart didn’t believe that because he was one of the most genuine and down to earth people you’d ever met in this business, but insecurity was a nasty bitch. Add to his sincerity the fact that he didn’t seem to be aware of just how gorgeous he was, remaining modest every time any sort of reference was made to his good looks. In many ways, he was too good to be true, and that’s why your head was telling you not to trust what was happening between you.

When he walked onto the set wearing nothing but a robe and the sock you knew was underneath, it only reinforced the out of control thoughts shooting through your mind and landing like daggers in your heart. You were definitely feeling more for him than it was wise to feel. What had been occurring between you was a dalliance, a fling. It was secret meetings for hot sex. Secret. Nothing could come of that. It was time to stop thinking that it might. 

It was no wonder you were struggling, trying to stop yourself from falling for him. Jared had taken control of the room without even trying as soon as he entered it. Even among actors, he was tall and well built. His muscles were attention grabbing, even under his clothes. His hair skimmed the top of his shoulders and had just enough wave in it that it almost defiantly refused to stay out of his face. It begged to be touched, and it would be very soon, just not by your fingers. 

Maybe it was his eyes that had lured you into this deep pool of confusing feelings and conflicting emotions. Of all his notable assets, his eyes had to be the best. They were unpredictable. Sometimes they were full of sunshine, flecked in gold or painted with a starburst of color through his iris that resembled a flower blooming. Other times, the shadows and the depth took over, and they became stormy gray with a flash of blue like the color of the sky when it was illuminated by lightning. 

He was looking at you with those incredible and surprising eyes now. Today they were a classic hazel, light even brown. You almost forgot what you were doing until Jared asked, “Where do you want me?”

It would be easier to tell him what you wanted him to do before she got here, so that was the approach you took. “Take off your robe and get in the bed under the covers.”

It was hard not to look when Jared untied his robe, flipped it back over his shoulders, and let it drop to the floor. His shoulders were broad, and his stomach was flat except for the well defined abs that swelled, leaving dips and valleys between them. You tried not to let your eyes drop below his waist, but they did. You darted them back up quickly. Be professional. Maintain focus. It was nothing you hadn’t seen before, but in this setting it was different. It made you a touch self conscious and overly aware of his physique. 

He was huge. That scrap of material he was wearing couldn’t hide that, and it certainly didn’t keep you from remembering the times he had stretched you to the point of a pleasurable scream while he thrust deeply into you. Today was going to be even more difficult than you had imagined.

Once he was under the sheets, you breathed a little easier. Jared looked to you for direction. Time to do your job and keep your personal feelings out of it. “When Britney gets here, I want you to get on top of her.” Well, you’d managed to choke that out and make your voice sound normal. “We’re starting more or less in the middle of the scene, none of the foreplay. It should be hot and intense from the second I call action.”

Jared arranged the sheet around his waist just so, like it wasn’t going to move. It did call attention to the way the stark white of the sheet complimented his skin tone, and made you think back to the last time you’d seen him naked in bed. That was when he first suggested you come out of the shadows, go on dates, be a couple. When the bed linens were arranged to his liking, he looked to you and asked, “What’s my motivation for this scene?”

It wasn’t an unusual question for an actor to ask a director, but part of you wondered if Jared was asking you to see what you’d say. Was it more flirting to get you to talk about sex and attraction? You looked directly into his stunning eyes and responded, “You’ve been denying your attraction for weeks now. You work together, so that makes it complicated. In the office, you haven’t been able to keep your eyes off each other. Your sexual tension has reached a peak, and it’s exploding right here.” You gave the bed a pat for emphasis, then realized what you’d said. 

You felt yourself start to flush and kept on talking to try to cover it up. “Bring some intensity to it, but keep it tender. You’re falling in love, but you’re not ready to say it. Show her with the way you touch her.” Your eyes met, and something unspoken passed between you.

Jared was about to speak, but then Britney arrived on set in a flourish. Her makeup artist was trailing behind her, making some final touch ups. She made a big show of disrobing, exposing her breasts to the remaining crew. They gawked and stared, just as she intended. You did your best not to roll your eyes into the back of your head. 

Unlike the others, Jared hadn’t paid any attention to her. His eyes were still focused on you; that unspoken thing was still in them, and there would be no chance to say it now. Britney climbed right into bed with him without any instruction from you and had the nerve to start flirting with him right in front of your face. She didn’t know what you were feeling. That was, after all, the point. You didn’t want anyone to have any idea there was anything going on between Jared and you. Or, maybe she did suspect and was being sadistic about it. Women had a way of seeing things men failed to see. 

Whether Britney knew or not, she wouldn’t care how you or anyone else felt about it. She was that girl, the one who thought about herself at all times. Romance between co-stars was good press that typically guaranteed increased media attention for the project and both parties involved. The studio would love it. Hell, they’d probably even encourage it. Scratch that. They would encourage it.

The next couple of hours were excruciating. Love scenes were some of the hardest to film under the best of circumstances. Every detail was important: the lighting, the camera angles, and most important body positioning. They competed with fight scenes in terms of difficulty to film. You would have much preferred a fight scene. 

For two hours you told Jared how to kiss another woman. “Tug on her bottom lip with your mouth. Be tender.” At one point you had physically taken hold of his hand and placed it where it would look best for the camera. It made you ready to run out of your own skin, escape in any way possible, be swallowed up by the floor beneath your feet. 

It was even worse telling her how to touch him. “Slide your hands down his back. Dig your fingers in a little.” This resulted in the sheet that was covering the lower half of his body sliding down far enough to show just a hint of butt cleavage, and it looked good. You would leave it in the final cut.

Mercifully, you finally got the takes you wanted and called it a wrap for the day. You gathered your things together and made your way to your car as quickly as you could, hardly even saying good night to anyone as you breezed by them to make your exit. 

As you approached your car, you hit the button on the remote. The familiar beep greeted your ears, letting you know that soon you would be surrounded by the warmth of the car’s interior. When the December Canadian air was frigid like this, you had to take a moment to remind yourself it was far preferable to the superficial fishbowl of LA.

Just as you touched the door handle, you heard the crunch of someone jogging through the snow. Couldn’t you be left alone ever? No doubt whatever this was could have waited until tomorrow, but being available to the cast and crew was one of the responsibilities of being the director. 

As you took a deep breath and tried to put an expression of patient interest on your face before you turned around, Jared’s voice carried across the cold winter air to your ears. “Y/N, wait.”

This required an even deeper breath before you turned around. He was barely breathing any heavier after running through the snow. That wasn’t surprising considering the shape he was in, but you were surprised he was chasing after you. Randomly, you thought he must’ve gotten dressed really quickly. It was probably your brain’s way of protecting you from deeper thoughts, but Jared wasn’t going to let you off that easily.

“I was hoping we could talk before you go.” He just really had no idea, did he? It was hard watching him with another woman, even if it was fake, when it was getting harder and harder to pretend your encounters with him were just casual affairs. It was more difficult to convince yourself you were fine with being his secret, even if it had been your idea. 

“Jared, I’m really tired. I just want to go home, okay? We can talk later.” You wished you could tell him the true reason you felt so tired, wanting more than anything to find comfort and reassurance in his arms. Somehow it felt even worse to hide yourself and your feelings from him. 

He didn’t say anything else, just nodded, took a couple steps back, and watched you get in your car. As soon as you started the car, holiday music filled the interior. Immediately, you turned off the radio in no mood for the cheerfulness. In your rearview mirror, you could see Jared. He hadn’t moved. He was still standing there, watching you go. Unwanted tears of frustration and confusion pooled in your eyes. You brushed them away so you could see the road.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once home, you put on your favorite pajamas and started a fire in the fireplace. A wood burning fireplace was one feature you had insisted on when looking for a home in Vancouver. The rowhouse you finally purchased had a charming one, made even more so by the garland and Christmas stockings hanging from the mantel. You’d put up a row of stockings, never mind you didn’t need them; it looked better that way.

You settled in among the decorative pillows in holiday colors and plaid on the sofa, pulling one of them onto your lap and hugging it close while you listened to the crackle of the fire and watched the flames sway. It lulled you and took some of the edge off the day. Your mind was drifting to a better place when your doorbell rang.

Reluctantly, you rose from your comfy spot. You opened your front door to find Jared standing there wearing one of the most ridiculous looking Christmas sweaters you’d ever seen. It was green, covered in tinsel garland and shiny three dimensional ball ornaments. It was surprising enough he was standing there, but what he was wearing left you a tiny bit baffled and slightly amused. 

It was impossible not to smile when you took in the details of the sweater again. You asked, “Jared, why are you here, and why are you wearing that?” He responded by showing you his dimples, and your own smile got bigger. You could feel more of your bad mood melting away, and you were overtaken by the urge to reach out and play with one of the ornaments on his sweater. 

Instead of answering, he held out a box he was holding. It was wrapped in gold paper and had one of those peel and stick bows on top of it. You held out your hands and took it, noticing the box was reasonably well wrapped. He had really tried, and that touched you.

“What is this?” His expression was pleased but subdued.

“I got you something.” A smile spread across his face, dispelling any reservations he may have had. Whatever was in that package, he was clearly excited about it.

Beneath the gold paper, there was a white box the size of a shirt box. You lifted the lid; inside there was a sweater that wasn’t quite as over the top as Jared’s, but it was definitely in the ugly Christmas sweater category. It was red with falling snow and candy canes on it. 

You looked at him, a questioning expression on your face. “What are the sweaters about?”

Jared took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I want you to wear it at the studio Christmas party, and I want you to go with me. Will you?” 

You saw the hope in his eyes while he waited to hear what you’d say. His words were sinking in, but did he understand what this could do to his reputation? “Jared, everyone will know.”

He glanced down at the floor and ran his hand through his hair. When he raised his head, his eyes found yours. The hope that had been there earlier had been replaced by determination. “I want them to know, Y/N. We aren’t doing anything wrong.” He cupped your face in his hand and brushed his thumb softly across your cheek. “I know what today did to you.”

“Jared, I…” You didn’t know what to say, but it didn’t matter because his mouth cover yours. You dropped the box you were holding and wrapped your arms around him, losing yourself in the kiss. With his hand on your waist, Jared pulled you closer to him. All the reassurance you had longed for earlier, you found.

While still kissing you, Jared lifted you into his arms and started to walk down the hallway toward your bedroom. You broke the kiss and buried your face in the side of his neck while he walked, breathing in the smell of him. 

Jared rarely wore cologne, and you were glad he didn’t, preferring that nothing mask the smell of him. The lingering hint of his soap on his freshly washed skin was comforting to you. You could smell the soap mingling with his skin now. Tears oozed gently from the corners of your eyes. He had showered before he came to you, erasing her scripted touch from his body.

He put you down gently on the bed and took off the brightly colored sweater he was wearing along with the t-shirt underneath before taking his place on top of you. You kissed his bare shoulder, wanting to leave some mark of you on him. It was the only signal he needed to start undressing you and kissing you in return.

His lips were warm on the pulse point at your neck, your collarbone, and your breasts. His hands moved over every part of your body, stroking and bringing you to a heightened state of arousal. By the time he took off his pants, you were nearly begging for him. “Jared, I need you.”

He hovered over you, his face only inches from yours. He looked into your eyes and laced his fingers through yours. “I’ve got you, Y/N. I’ll take care of you.” 

Jared made love to you slowly. He took his time and satisfied every need that was crying out from deep within you. He knew how to make you feel beautiful, knew how to make your body shake with the intensity of release, and knew how to make you feel safe after you’d opened  yourself to him completely and were feeling both satisfied and vulnerable.

You lay in his arms, your head on his chest. Jared was dragging his fingers slowly up and down your back. After a few minutes of silence, feeling the moment together, he kissed the top of your head and asked, “Could you feel it?”

You smiled, still drifting in the safe bubble he had made for you. “I felt a lot of things.”

He kissed the top of your head again and let his chin rest there. “When I touched you, could you feel that I love you?”

Your heart started to beat faster, and you raised your head to look at him. “I love you, Y/N. That’s why I don’t want to hide anymore. I want everybody to know it.”

You traced the firm line of his jaw with your fingertip. “Jared...I love you too, but that wouldn’t be good for you.” 

He sat up a little and put his hands on your shoulders. “How do you know? It wouldn’t be the first time an actor and a director were together.” 

“I don’t ever want anyone to question your talent, Jared.” Your heart was full of so many things, the truth of the words you’d just exchanged along with the fear those words evoked. 

His hands moved from your shoulders to the sides of your face. He held your face in his hands, his eyes pleading with you. “And I don’t ever want you to question how much I love you.” He dropped his hands, keeping just one under your chin to ensure you would keep looking into his eyes. “I saw what today did to you, how hard it was; but do you know what it did to me?”

No. You had no idea, hadn’t given it a thought. How could you have ignored his feelings? All you could say was “What?”

He had the most serious and pain filled expression you’d ever seen on his face. “I don’t want other women to come on to me in front of you, knowing what that’s doing to you, and not even be able to brush them off because this is a secret.” He let his hand drop from beneath your chin, trusting your eyes wouldn’t leave his now. “It hurt me to see how much you were hurting.”

“Jared, I’m sorry. I didn’t…”

He covered your lips with his fingers and shook his head. “And I was so proud of you for working right through that hurt to put something on film that will make other people happy, that will make them believe in love. It doesn’t matter that what you were showing wasn’t real. Love is real. Ours is real.”

He kissed you before you could cry again. When the kiss ended, you rested your forehead against his. “You’re right. It is real, and we shouldn’t hide it. I don’t want to hide it anymore.”

Jared’s hand was in your hair, holding the back of your head. He was so close, you could feel him breathing. “You mean more to me than anything, Y/N. You always will.”

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Saturdays were your day to get your life together. You cleaned up your apartment from the mess that had gotten a little out of control, finished the tasks you had started but not finished over the last five days, you did laundry, sometimes caught up with friends … it was just your day to wrap up loose ends. It had been this way since your last break up — you took a few days to cry it out, then decided you weren’t going to let your life fall apart.  Routine was what you needed and Saturday get-it-together tasks were part of that routine. 

Between the vacuum and the music you had blaring to get you through your household chores, you didn’t hear anyone knocking on the door. You didn’t hear anyone turning the lock or announcing their presence in your apartment. 

Which is probably why when you turned off the vacuum and went to the kitchen for a glass of water, you screamed at the top of your lungs. The tall man setting drinks on the counter couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Oh, Y/N, I’m so sorry,” Jared chuckled, “I knew you didn’t hear me knock probably because of the bathroom, but I figured you heard me over the vacuum.”

“Alexa, stop the music,” you commanded the device, a hand at your throat while you tried to catch your breath. “That better be an iced coffee from Dunkin, and they better both be for me after you scared the crap out of me.”

He was still smiling. “I had intended to drink one, but you’re right, maybe I do owe you the extra one.”

You pushed a straw into one of the drinks and rolled your eyes as you leaned back against the counter. The unexpected iced coffee cooled your nerves and you decided it wasn’t so bad that Jared had shown up after all. 

“So, what are you doing here, creeper?” Ashley asked, nudging his leg with her toe. 

He set his own drink on the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. “Came to see if you were still doing get-it-together Saturday.”

“You know I am, Jar. I’m not looking for dates and I’m perfectly happy to spend my Saturdays being productive, sleeping in Sunday morning, and just relaxing before the week starts again.” You shrugged. You weren’t too worried about it; you were okay being single. 

“Fair enough. Want me to hang out? Need any handyman tasks done?”

“Mmm, well, I could do it if you don’t want to, but I have a couple light bulbs up high that need changed out, if you’re in a helping mood.”

Jared sipped on his iced coffee again, nodding. “Yeah, sure, no problem. Bulbs still in the same place?”

“Yep! The bathroom ceiling light and one bulb in the bedroom fan.”

He left his drink on the counter. You finished yours off before dumping the ice in the sink, tossing the cup away, and going back to your loose ends. 

After another hour, you were done with your list. Jared had changed out those bulbs, unloaded the dishwasher, and snaked your shower drain. 

“Now I owe you,” you sighed, falling back on the couch. “Wanna go out for drinks tonight?”

Jared shrugged. “Sure. We could grab a bite first, if you want.”

“There’s a frozen pizza in the freezer.”

“Perfect! I’ll get that going while you get cleaned up.”

You thanked him with a quick kiss on the cheek before gathering a couple of clean towels and heading for the shower. Music started from the Alexa again, and you sang along, uninhibited, while you washed up. 

Since it was just drinks with a friend, you put on a cute top and jeans, dropped some sandals next to the door to slip into before you left. Your hair had dried in nice, beachy waves — for once — and you put on the bare minimum of makeup. 

“Ah, that pizza smells so good!” you raved, picking up two pieces from the pan and dropping them on paper plate. You filled a glass with water and took a seat at the table with Jared. 

While the two of you ate, you discussed which bar you wanted to go to. You wanted to be able to talk, and Jared wanted to hear good music. There was a couple of places that fit those requirement, so the two of you picked the closer of the two. 

“So, how much longer are you going to avoid dating?” Jared asked during the drive. 

“Jared …”

He waved off your protest. “C’mon, Y/N/N. You’re beautiful, you’re driven, you’re smart, you’re funny — you check off everything on the list. You’re just going to isolate yourself for the rest of eternity? He isn’t worth that.”

“I am not isolating myself,” you scoffed. “I’m just not looking at the moment. If someone comes along, then sure, I’ll give it a shot. But like I said, I’m okay by myself. Maybe I’ll meet someone at the bar tonight, you never know.”

Jared sighed in frustration, but smiled. “Okay, sure. I guess I can buy that. For now.”

You chuckled and turned up the music. As you started singing along, Jared eventually chimed in. He was smiling big enough for his dimples to show, even while he sang, and you had to stop yourself from leaning over the console to kiss him.

Wait. What. 

That wasn’t a thought you’d had about Jared before. The two of you were friends — yeah, he was a handsome man. You weren’t stupid, you weren’t blind. You could see that Jared was a catch. The friendship had really never been like that, though. 

Until now. 

You ordered your mind to shut its mouth and thought about anything and everything else. Once at the bar, in an effort to clear your mind and reset your perspective, you walked far enough away from Jared to fit two more people between you. He gave you a hard time about it, but you only joked that he smelled bad. Lame, but it was the best you could do with these new thoughts rambling through your brain. 

There was an open table on the patio and the weather was gorgeous, so you and Jared snagged up a couple of the chairs before anyone else could claim the table. He got up to get your drinks from the bar; the eyes of the other women in the place following him back inside didn’t escape your notice. 

Had Jared ever thought about you like this? He had said some pretty nice things about you in the car. But, he was your friend. Didn’t he have to say those things, though, as your friend? Maybe. Maybe not. 

Three drinks in and ready to tell the other women in the place to stop checking Jared out, you still hadn’t figured out where you were going to land on the matter. Jared returned with a fourth round, and you blurted out your question. 

“Do you ever think about us?” 

Jared set the drinks carefully on the table. “Us? What do you mean?”

“Us,” you repeated, motioning between the two of you. “You think I’m beautiful and smart and driven and all of that … did you say that because I’m your beautiful, smart, driven friend, or because you see these things and it makes you think maybe you want more with me?”

Jared mouth gaped a little and he stared at you without blinking for what your intoxicated mind processed was too long of a time for your question to be something that wasn’t going to ruin your entire friendship. 

“Or did I just ruin everything?” you asked, quietly. 

“No, you didn’t ruin anything,” Jared assured immediately, “I … I don’t know. I do truly believe those things about you, Y/N, but I’ve never … until now.”

“Same. Well, tonight. In the car, you were singing and smiling and I had this completely sober thought that I wanted to lean over and kiss you and I’ve been trying to figure out since then what in the world is happening in my mind.”

Jared licked his lips and tucked his hair behind his ears. He cleared his throat scooted his chair close to yours. With a soft hand under your chin, Jared hesitantly pressed his lips softly to yours. His eyes were closed, but you almost couldn’t believe what was happening if you didn’t see it. When Jared pulled back, hand still under your chin, your eyes were wide open with shock. 

“I’m sorry,” he apologized, “I thought that maybe if we tried that kiss, it might give us some answers.”

“Did it give you answers?” 

Jared nodded. “You?”

Slowly, you nodded. One end of your mouth tugged up with the hint of a smile, and you pressed your forehead to his. 

“What if we change our minds when we’re sober?”

He leaned forward. “Then we’ll deal with it.”

Again, you nodded. Words were unmanageable, and you were too eager to have Jared’s lips on yours once more. 

“Yes. And, you’re Jared and Jensen. It’s a pleasure to meet you both.” She extended her hand, giving them each a firm shake. 

‘We’ll let you get back to it. We just wanted to drop in and introduce ourselves before the first scene,” Jensen said. 

“See you later, Y/N!” Jared waved and they both left the trailer. 

~*~

“You were really great in that scene, Y/N,” Jensen complimented her as they walked toward the trailers a few days later. “You knocked it out of the park.” Jared nodded his agreement. 

Y/N couldn’t believe the fun she was having. Supernatural was by far the best set she had ever worked on, and she realized how terribly sad she was going to be when her guest spot wrapped. 

“Thanks, Jensen. That means a lot coming from you guys.” Y/N looked up, smiling shyly at them. She wrapped her arms around herself in an effort to warm up. The week started off warm enough, but a cold front had dropped the temperature significantly. 

“You cold?” Jared asked, concern lacing his voice as they approached his trailer. 

“Um, yeah. It’s crazy cold here!” she admitted. “You guys must be used to it by now, especially with the infinite layers of Winchester flannel!”

“Yeah that helps, but you don’t really get used to it. We just go back to Texas to thaw out!” Jensen laughed. “Go. I’m going to call my wife and kids. I’ll see you in a bit to finish running those lines.” 

“Come inside, let’s get you out of the cold,” Jared urged, opening his door and waving Jensen off. He ran to the back and came back with a sweatshirt, handing it to Y/N. 

“Thank you,” she acknowledged as she shrugged it over her head. It was about three sizes too big, but it was warm and smelled like Jared, making her smile. “I have the same one at home, in a slightly smaller size.”

Jared stood admiring her. It wasn’t the first time in their few days together that he had taken notice of her. Even Jensen had noticed how taken his friend was with the younger actress. 

“Oh yeah. Well, then, I should be the one thanking you for your support,” he smiled shyly, his eyes never leaving her. 

“What? Do I have something on my face from lunch?” she gasped, quickly wiping her chin in embarrassment. 

“What? No, no, nothing like that. I was just thinking you look really good in my sweater,” Jared blushed as he looked away. “I’m sorry. That was, I, uh, fuck, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Jared, it’s okay. You’re not making me uncomfortable. If anything, I’m flattered. You’re Jared Padalecki. You’re Sam Fucking Winchester, and just being in your presence this week has been an honor in itself. I’m not just a fan of the show, and I don’t have one of these just to show my support.” Her eyes cast down as she pushed up the sleeves on the sweater he had loaned her. 

Jared was speechless. He had met dozens upon dozens of fans at conventions that had shared their stories of struggle and stories of triumph with him, but he had never encountered anyone else in the business that shared something like this with him. He moved closer, taking her hands, his thumbs gently rubbing over the jagged scars. “You’re a warrior.” 

“Because of you, Jared,” she whispered. “You and your campaign made a difference and are the reason I didn’t give up, that I keep fighting every single day. You gave me the will to get up and keep going, keep fighting.”

“Wow, I am even more impressed with you now than I was before. You’re smart, talented, beautiful, and a fighter, just like me,” he murmured. “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.”

“I still have some bad days, but they’re fewer and far between. I’m in a good place now. And, hey, I landed a guest spot on my favorite show and got to meet you. The path may be dark and twisted, but it led me to the light,” she said. “It led me to you, Jared.” 

“Go to dinner with me tonight?” Jared blurted out. “I mean, if you want. I’d love to hear more of your story, if you’re willing to share, that is. No pressure, I promise.” 

“I’d like that. I know the fans often tell you of their own stories and struggles, and it must weigh on you. Let me be there for you. After all, you’ve done so much for the rest of us, let me do something for you,” Y/N countered. 

“That sounds really great, actually,” Jared sighed, feeling lighter. Just as he opened his mouth, the door of his trailer swung open.

 “Okay, I’m back! You ready?” Jensen asked, rushing through the door, only to stop when he saw his best friend and Y/N holding hands. “What the fuck did I miss?”

“Nothing,” Y/N said.

“She’s a warrior, Jen,” Jared whispered. 

“I told you she was perfect for you. When are you going to stop doubting me and realize that I am always right?” Jensen smirked, patting his buddy on the back. “Well, like ninety-eight percent of the time!”

~*~

Jared and Y/N had taken it slow and laid a solid foundation over the last six months, making their relationship more stable than even they could have anticipated. When he asked for her opinion on the new campaign, she immediately knew it wasn’t just a new campaign, but a gift for her. A gift of his appreciation, admiration, and support for sharing her story with him and the fandom at a recent convention.

Jared filmed the live stream from set with Jensen, Misha, and Y/N at his side, all donned in one of the new shirts. “Whether you are struggling with mental health yourself, or know someone who is, always keep fighting.” Jared turned to Jensen. 

“Because you are not alone,” Jensen added. ““Love yourself first.” 

“Because you are enough,” Misha contributed. “And, family always has your back.” 

“Always keep fighting,” Y/N smiled warmly into the camera. “Because you are a warrior.”

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Vancouver was a cool place. Both figuratively and literally. You always had to tell yourself to wrap up or turn the heat up. The one thing that you could count on in Vancouver was always the snow and unsafe driveways.

You threw on one of your warmest, thickest jackets and grabbed a snow shovel. Jared would be home from work soon and you had nothing else to do. All house work had been done, the food was on and this snow was getting a little too dangerous.

You were almost done with the driveway when you heard a beep from the end of the road, your head lifted and smiled when you saw Jared’s SUV rolled towards the driveway.

Jared quickly approached and stopped at the end of the driveway, hopping out of the car and sweeping you up in a fun and unexpected kiss.

“Well, if shoveling snow was this much of a turn on for you I should do it everyday.” You giggled, pulling away from Jared, “I’m probably not going to do that but still I liked the kiss.”

Jared chuckled at your words and set you back on the ground, taking the shovel out of your hand and finishing the handiwork for you.

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