"Kids! Come here and wash your hands before dinner." Y/n screams. I can hear that kids running around in the backyard. They don't listen, but they're kids. I'm eyeing them from the couch.

She starts again more strain in her voice, and force backing her. "JAZZ, VICTOR. COME HERE NOW." She screams, a heavy sigh leaving her lips, but still, the kids don't come. She throws her hands up and continues with the dishes.

I get up and open the sliding glass more. An arched eyebrow, as I see that the kids have gotten in the water hose. "Kiddos, did you hear your mom?" I ask as I walk over to the faucet and shut it off. My daughter perks up, "No daddy." She says, she looks exactly like me. She's got my nose and my sassy personality.

My son on the other hand is the spitting image of his mother. Younger than his sister by only a year. They're joined at the hips, everything Jazz does Victor has to do. "We didn't hear mommy at all daddy," Victor says. I shrug my shoulders.

"Come on you guys are wet, and dinner is almost ready. "Okay, Daddy." They say in unison. I hurry to roll up the hose, before pushing along the kids, past Y/n, and up the stairs.

"When I come back up here, the both of you better have new clothes on, and next time please listen to your mother," I say before walking back down the stairs.

Y/n is plating food and setting the dinner table. I lean to give her a soft cheek kiss, but she leans away. "Honey?" I ask, "What is wrong?" I ask.

"Nothing Jared. Just want to eat dinner is all." She says, moving back into the kitchen, I follow her. We've been together for ten years now. I know when things are wrong with my wife. Now are one of those times I wish that she would be open with me.

Y/n had a hard ever believing that I loved her, so when I asked her to marry me I had thought that the feelings had subsided. Now all of the sudden they're back, and I have a feeling it's got something to do with our kids.

I stare at her as she vigorously cleans off pots and pans before putting them gently into the dishwasher. The silence is killing me, so I leave our kitchen and climb the stairs. I'm met with two kiddos.

Jazz had changed her clothes and is in a dress now. Victor on the other hand has his shirt halfway on his body, but at least he's got pants on so. "See daddy, we have new outfits on," Victor says. I fix Victor's shirt, and grab both of their hands and walk us downstairs.

"Yes, you have great outfits on. Did you wash your hands?" I ask as we make it to the last stairs. They look at each other and shake their heads. I smile, and let go of their hands pushing them gently in the direction of the dinner table.

Y/n is still in the kitchen. I can hear the washer starting to clean the dishes. The kids sit and wait for dinner, I walk into the kitchen to see her with her hands brassing her body on the counter. "Sweetheart?" I ask, "The kids are down." I stated. She hums, and sniffles before turning around and walking past me and into the dining room.

What is going on with my wife?

She's never been this distance, was she crying when I went upstairs? Should I have stayed down here with her and talked? It's not like she really wanted to talk to me, shutting down all of my questions.

I hear the chair scrape on the hardwood flooring before I walk out with drinks for the kids. I set them down before sitting in my own chair. "Thanks, daddy." Jazz says, picking up her fork and picking at the food. Victor has his mouth stuffed with food.

Dinner was silent, unlike other nights. Were we all talk, Y/n's barely eating, her plate looks untouched. She looks like she's staring into the abyss. She's totally tuning out the kids, and me.

Dinner passes, and she grabs our plates, taking them into the kitchen. Usually, Y/n makes dinner, so I clean up but tonight different. In reality, the past few weeks have been getting worse and more like this. Y/n's figures dropped considerable pounds, her face is more hallow, skin paler.

She isn't letting me in to help her. I can't force her to tell me what's going on. So I'm at a loss here. Uncharted grounds with my wife. I walk into the kitchen, "Y/n? Talk to me and tell me what's going on?" I plead. I hate this feeling of being useless in helping my wife.

"There's nothing wrong Jared. Go give the kids a bath." She's being sharp with me, and it's becoming bothersome. I don't know where my soft, smiling girl went, or how long she's been gone.

I leave the kitchen yet again. A strange feeling cascading over me. "Come on Jazz, Victor," I speak gently to them. "Let's upstairs take baths," I say, Jazz is the first to get up taking my large hand in her very small one. Victor jumps from his seat and grabs my other hand. We make another trip up the stairs.

Stopping by their separate rooms to grab nightclothes. Jazz fusses about what she wants to wear. "Daddy I want that." She says pointing to a princess dress, "Baby you've got to wear jammies, not a dress to bed." I counter the tears that brim to her eyes is hard to fight.

Coming up with an idea on the spot, I reach into the closet and grab a princess jammy set. "We can wear this to bed baby," I say showing her that there is indeed a princess on the front. She nods her head and walks to the bathroom with her jammies in her hands.

Victor is an easier subject, he just points and yawns as the day's antics catch up with his tiny body. I grab his body and lay him over my shoulder. Bath time goes over fairly quickly a few suds and bubbles making their way onto my grey t-shirt.

The giggles float down the stairs, and Y/n can hear them, but ignore the twang in her core that tells her to go up and with her kids have fun with their daddy.

Y/n climbs the stairs but stops when she hears Jazz ask Jared a question. "Daddy, what's wrong with mommy?" She says perfectly. "Oh Jazz, mommy... Mommy is just tired that's all." Jared says to Jazz. "Why is she so tired? She didn't play with us today." Victor says. Jared chuckles and it sends a shiver through Y/ns body. "I know she didn't. But mommy did other things today that wore her out." Jared speaks to Victor.

"Alright kiddos, time to get dressed," Jared says, Y/n runs as quietly as she can to their bedroom. Shedding down her clothes and throwing them into the basket in the corner. She's quick to turn on the shower and jump in. Her tears and heaving are covered up by the sounds of the water hitting the tile floor.

It feels like ages to Y/n before she hears the bedroom doors open and then shut. She's quick to finish her shower, combing the shampoo through her hair, and finishing her shower with a good wash to her face.

I can hear the shower running. There are a few moments where it's silent in our bedroom. I slide my t-shirt off and throw it into the basket, the bubbling suds from Jazz and Victor's bathes ruined my shirt.

Sliding out of my jeans I slipped into something more comfortable. I had just gotten comfortable on our bed before Y/n comes out of the bathroom wrapped in her towel. As she turned around to reach into our wardrobe. I could see the hot marks that were on her back.

I sat up quickly pulling the water covers from my body. Reaching over to Y/n within a matter of seconds. Touching gently on her blistering skin. "What is this?" I stammered under my breath.

She gasps as my finger grazes over her shoulder blades, and then down her spine. "Jared it's nothing," Y/n answers me, but it's not really an answer she's bypassing my question.

"Stop doing that," I demand, I can see her body in the body mirror adjacent to us. Her head is looking down at the floor. "Why would you do that to yourself?" I request. She doesn't answer just shakes her head.

"Y/N, I want an answer. You can't hurt yourself and then not tell me why, or even what's on your mind." I rant off to her. Her head still hangs low.

"Jared. Do you... Do you think I'm a bad mother?" Y/n words hit me with a shock. Like a wave of so many emotions, it's hit me, and the breath that I was holding release. A moment of silence is killing Y/n, I can see her shrinking in the mirror.

"No, sweetheart I don't think you're a bad mother. I think you're an amazing mother." I state, My hands slipping from her back to her hips.

"But the kids, they don't listen to me. I'm constantly yelling and screaming for them to listen to me. You on the other hand. You just say something they listen, like it wasn't anything." Y/n whines.

She has been losing her mind for the past three weeks all because the kids listen to me and not to her. Because she has to be the bad cop and I somehow get to be the good cop in every situation.

I sigh and squeeze her hips. "Look baby, I know for a fact that the kiddos don't hate you, I also know that they're just kids. Later in life honey, I promise you'll be the one they that they adore and I'll end up being the one that they hate for all sorts of reasons." I remark.

I see the start of smiling on her face. "I'll grab something to cover those blisters and burns up with, grab a shirt of mine, put your slippers on. I'll grab the kiddos, we're going for a ride." I added.

The small smile that was on her face spreads and she drops her towel. Within a matter of moments, Y/n's got cream on her back, and an old shirt of mine on, along with her slippers.

I grab her hand and we leave our bedroom. She grabs Jazz, and I grab Victor. "Where are we going, baby?" Y/n asks. "We aren't going anywhere. I just want to be with my family. Show you just how say meaningful you are to our family." I stated

I heard a small whimper come from Jazz, "Mommy, where are we going?" Jazz says, "Mommy and Daddy are taking a drive, and you my love bug are coming with us."

After getting the kids in the back of the car, the drive started off slow, but eventually, we had made a fast track to the highway. We drove with our fingers interlocked, I could feel Y/n rub her thumb gingerly over my skin.

Smiling as I drove, she reached over and kissed my cheek, "Thank you, baby. I think I lose my mind sometimes. I'm thankful that you're always here for me." She whispered. I thought for a moment to remember a phrase from some time ago. "With you my dear, everything always seems perfect, but can you promise me something. Always keep fighting, fighting for you, for us, for them' I said pointing into the rear of the car.

She hummed and kissed my knuckles before snuggling close to my side. This right here is peace, utter peace. A place that I don't ever feel like leaving.

Completed on: 07/12/2021

Posted on: 07/13/2021

Jared closed his script. “So, let them.” For a second, you thought he was going to make a move, come closer to you. Touch you. God, how you wanted that, especially today. 

All day long, you hadn’t been able to get your mind off the sex scene that was scheduled to be filmed that afternoon. Here, right in the middle of this light hearted, feel good, movie was one of the steamiest sex scenes you’d ever read, or maybe that was just because you were picturing Jared in it. 

It was a challenge to remain professional and not let jealousy take control of you. An actress was about to crawl into bed, basically naked with him, while he put his hands and lips all over her. Weren’t these kinds of movies supposed to be about laughter, finding yourself, maybe helping some people? Who said anything about sex?

The next time you saw Jared, he’d be wearing nothing but a sock to cover his most private parts; and that woman, the tall thin example of what society called physical perfection with the full pouty lips and long glossy hair, would be topless and waving her boobs in his….

With that thought, you tightly squeezed your hands around the copy of the script you were holding until it was starting to fold and crease. “Y/N, are you okay?”

Your answer was crisp and to the point. “Jared, you need to go get ready for the next scene. Hair and makeup will need some time with you.” You didn’t state the obvious, that wardrobe wasn’t much of a factor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had taken you a good part of your life to come to terms with the fact that you were not classically beautiful. You had relied on that old “eye of the beholder” cliche, understanding that objectively you were not the woman that men turned to stare at when you walked into a room. You’d finally come to accept that, even though deep inside every girl wants to feel pretty.

The most devastating blow had come when you’d fallen in love with acting. It didn’t take long to realize you would never be the leading lady. Naively, you had auditioned for parts like that, thinking talent would get you one of those roles. The result was, after a number of rejections, you felt unattractive and resigned to the fact that your future in this industry was behind the camera. 

That’s where you were now, checking the framing and angles for the shot. The set had been cleared of all but essential personnel due to the nature of the upcoming scene. It was unusually quiet except for the thoughts raging in your head. It still stung that you weren’t “the beautiful one”. That long present wound was enough to give doubt about your blossoming relationship all the fertile soil it needed in which to grow. 

Maybe Jared was flirting with you, taking you to his bed, trying to get close to you because it would help his career. Your heart didn’t believe that because he was one of the most genuine and down to earth people you’d ever met in this business, but insecurity was a nasty bitch. Add to his sincerity the fact that he didn’t seem to be aware of just how gorgeous he was, remaining modest every time any sort of reference was made to his good looks. In many ways, he was too good to be true, and that’s why your head was telling you not to trust what was happening between you.

When he walked onto the set wearing nothing but a robe and the sock you knew was underneath, it only reinforced the out of control thoughts shooting through your mind and landing like daggers in your heart. You were definitely feeling more for him than it was wise to feel. What had been occurring between you was a dalliance, a fling. It was secret meetings for hot sex. Secret. Nothing could come of that. It was time to stop thinking that it might. 

It was no wonder you were struggling, trying to stop yourself from falling for him. Jared had taken control of the room without even trying as soon as he entered it. Even among actors, he was tall and well built. His muscles were attention grabbing, even under his clothes. His hair skimmed the top of his shoulders and had just enough wave in it that it almost defiantly refused to stay out of his face. It begged to be touched, and it would be very soon, just not by your fingers. 

Maybe it was his eyes that had lured you into this deep pool of confusing feelings and conflicting emotions. Of all his notable assets, his eyes had to be the best. They were unpredictable. Sometimes they were full of sunshine, flecked in gold or painted with a starburst of color through his iris that resembled a flower blooming. Other times, the shadows and the depth took over, and they became stormy gray with a flash of blue like the color of the sky when it was illuminated by lightning. 

He was looking at you with those incredible and surprising eyes now. Today they were a classic hazel, light even brown. You almost forgot what you were doing until Jared asked, “Where do you want me?”

It would be easier to tell him what you wanted him to do before she got here, so that was the approach you took. “Take off your robe and get in the bed under the covers.”

It was hard not to look when Jared untied his robe, flipped it back over his shoulders, and let it drop to the floor. His shoulders were broad, and his stomach was flat except for the well defined abs that swelled, leaving dips and valleys between them. You tried not to let your eyes drop below his waist, but they did. You darted them back up quickly. Be professional. Maintain focus. It was nothing you hadn’t seen before, but in this setting it was different. It made you a touch self conscious and overly aware of his physique. 

He was huge. That scrap of material he was wearing couldn’t hide that, and it certainly didn’t keep you from remembering the times he had stretched you to the point of a pleasurable scream while he thrust deeply into you. Today was going to be even more difficult than you had imagined.

Once he was under the sheets, you breathed a little easier. Jared looked to you for direction. Time to do your job and keep your personal feelings out of it. “When Britney gets here, I want you to get on top of her.” Well, you’d managed to choke that out and make your voice sound normal. “We’re starting more or less in the middle of the scene, none of the foreplay. It should be hot and intense from the second I call action.”

Jared arranged the sheet around his waist just so, like it wasn’t going to move. It did call attention to the way the stark white of the sheet complimented his skin tone, and made you think back to the last time you’d seen him naked in bed. That was when he first suggested you come out of the shadows, go on dates, be a couple. When the bed linens were arranged to his liking, he looked to you and asked, “What’s my motivation for this scene?”

It wasn’t an unusual question for an actor to ask a director, but part of you wondered if Jared was asking you to see what you’d say. Was it more flirting to get you to talk about sex and attraction? You looked directly into his stunning eyes and responded, “You’ve been denying your attraction for weeks now. You work together, so that makes it complicated. In the office, you haven’t been able to keep your eyes off each other. Your sexual tension has reached a peak, and it’s exploding right here.” You gave the bed a pat for emphasis, then realized what you’d said. 

You felt yourself start to flush and kept on talking to try to cover it up. “Bring some intensity to it, but keep it tender. You’re falling in love, but you’re not ready to say it. Show her with the way you touch her.” Your eyes met, and something unspoken passed between you.

Jared was about to speak, but then Britney arrived on set in a flourish. Her makeup artist was trailing behind her, making some final touch ups. She made a big show of disrobing, exposing her breasts to the remaining crew. They gawked and stared, just as she intended. You did your best not to roll your eyes into the back of your head. 

Unlike the others, Jared hadn’t paid any attention to her. His eyes were still focused on you; that unspoken thing was still in them, and there would be no chance to say it now. Britney climbed right into bed with him without any instruction from you and had the nerve to start flirting with him right in front of your face. She didn’t know what you were feeling. That was, after all, the point. You didn’t want anyone to have any idea there was anything going on between Jared and you. Or, maybe she did suspect and was being sadistic about it. Women had a way of seeing things men failed to see. 

Whether Britney knew or not, she wouldn’t care how you or anyone else felt about it. She was that girl, the one who thought about herself at all times. Romance between co-stars was good press that typically guaranteed increased media attention for the project and both parties involved. The studio would love it. Hell, they’d probably even encourage it. Scratch that. They would encourage it.

The next couple of hours were excruciating. Love scenes were some of the hardest to film under the best of circumstances. Every detail was important: the lighting, the camera angles, and most important body positioning. They competed with fight scenes in terms of difficulty to film. You would have much preferred a fight scene. 

For two hours you told Jared how to kiss another woman. “Tug on her bottom lip with your mouth. Be tender.” At one point you had physically taken hold of his hand and placed it where it would look best for the camera. It made you ready to run out of your own skin, escape in any way possible, be swallowed up by the floor beneath your feet. 

It was even worse telling her how to touch him. “Slide your hands down his back. Dig your fingers in a little.” This resulted in the sheet that was covering the lower half of his body sliding down far enough to show just a hint of butt cleavage, and it looked good. You would leave it in the final cut.

Mercifully, you finally got the takes you wanted and called it a wrap for the day. You gathered your things together and made your way to your car as quickly as you could, hardly even saying good night to anyone as you breezed by them to make your exit. 

As you approached your car, you hit the button on the remote. The familiar beep greeted your ears, letting you know that soon you would be surrounded by the warmth of the car’s interior. When the December Canadian air was frigid like this, you had to take a moment to remind yourself it was far preferable to the superficial fishbowl of LA.

Just as you touched the door handle, you heard the crunch of someone jogging through the snow. Couldn’t you be left alone ever? No doubt whatever this was could have waited until tomorrow, but being available to the cast and crew was one of the responsibilities of being the director. 

As you took a deep breath and tried to put an expression of patient interest on your face before you turned around, Jared’s voice carried across the cold winter air to your ears. “Y/N, wait.”

This required an even deeper breath before you turned around. He was barely breathing any heavier after running through the snow. That wasn’t surprising considering the shape he was in, but you were surprised he was chasing after you. Randomly, you thought he must’ve gotten dressed really quickly. It was probably your brain’s way of protecting you from deeper thoughts, but Jared wasn’t going to let you off that easily.

“I was hoping we could talk before you go.” He just really had no idea, did he? It was hard watching him with another woman, even if it was fake, when it was getting harder and harder to pretend your encounters with him were just casual affairs. It was more difficult to convince yourself you were fine with being his secret, even if it had been your idea. 

“Jared, I’m really tired. I just want to go home, okay? We can talk later.” You wished you could tell him the true reason you felt so tired, wanting more than anything to find comfort and reassurance in his arms. Somehow it felt even worse to hide yourself and your feelings from him. 

He didn’t say anything else, just nodded, took a couple steps back, and watched you get in your car. As soon as you started the car, holiday music filled the interior. Immediately, you turned off the radio in no mood for the cheerfulness. In your rearview mirror, you could see Jared. He hadn’t moved. He was still standing there, watching you go. Unwanted tears of frustration and confusion pooled in your eyes. You brushed them away so you could see the road.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once home, you put on your favorite pajamas and started a fire in the fireplace. A wood burning fireplace was one feature you had insisted on when looking for a home in Vancouver. The rowhouse you finally purchased had a charming one, made even more so by the garland and Christmas stockings hanging from the mantel. You’d put up a row of stockings, never mind you didn’t need them; it looked better that way.

You settled in among the decorative pillows in holiday colors and plaid on the sofa, pulling one of them onto your lap and hugging it close while you listened to the crackle of the fire and watched the flames sway. It lulled you and took some of the edge off the day. Your mind was drifting to a better place when your doorbell rang.

Reluctantly, you rose from your comfy spot. You opened your front door to find Jared standing there wearing one of the most ridiculous looking Christmas sweaters you’d ever seen. It was green, covered in tinsel garland and shiny three dimensional ball ornaments. It was surprising enough he was standing there, but what he was wearing left you a tiny bit baffled and slightly amused. 

It was impossible not to smile when you took in the details of the sweater again. You asked, “Jared, why are you here, and why are you wearing that?” He responded by showing you his dimples, and your own smile got bigger. You could feel more of your bad mood melting away, and you were overtaken by the urge to reach out and play with one of the ornaments on his sweater. 

Instead of answering, he held out a box he was holding. It was wrapped in gold paper and had one of those peel and stick bows on top of it. You held out your hands and took it, noticing the box was reasonably well wrapped. He had really tried, and that touched you.

“What is this?” His expression was pleased but subdued.

“I got you something.” A smile spread across his face, dispelling any reservations he may have had. Whatever was in that package, he was clearly excited about it.

Beneath the gold paper, there was a white box the size of a shirt box. You lifted the lid; inside there was a sweater that wasn’t quite as over the top as Jared’s, but it was definitely in the ugly Christmas sweater category. It was red with falling snow and candy canes on it. 

You looked at him, a questioning expression on your face. “What are the sweaters about?”

Jared took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I want you to wear it at the studio Christmas party, and I want you to go with me. Will you?” 

You saw the hope in his eyes while he waited to hear what you’d say. His words were sinking in, but did he understand what this could do to his reputation? “Jared, everyone will know.”

He glanced down at the floor and ran his hand through his hair. When he raised his head, his eyes found yours. The hope that had been there earlier had been replaced by determination. “I want them to know, Y/N. We aren’t doing anything wrong.” He cupped your face in his hand and brushed his thumb softly across your cheek. “I know what today did to you.”

“Jared, I…” You didn’t know what to say, but it didn’t matter because his mouth cover yours. You dropped the box you were holding and wrapped your arms around him, losing yourself in the kiss. With his hand on your waist, Jared pulled you closer to him. All the reassurance you had longed for earlier, you found.

While still kissing you, Jared lifted you into his arms and started to walk down the hallway toward your bedroom. You broke the kiss and buried your face in the side of his neck while he walked, breathing in the smell of him. 

Jared rarely wore cologne, and you were glad he didn’t, preferring that nothing mask the smell of him. The lingering hint of his soap on his freshly washed skin was comforting to you. You could smell the soap mingling with his skin now. Tears oozed gently from the corners of your eyes. He had showered before he came to you, erasing her scripted touch from his body.

He put you down gently on the bed and took off the brightly colored sweater he was wearing along with the t-shirt underneath before taking his place on top of you. You kissed his bare shoulder, wanting to leave some mark of you on him. It was the only signal he needed to start undressing you and kissing you in return.

His lips were warm on the pulse point at your neck, your collarbone, and your breasts. His hands moved over every part of your body, stroking and bringing you to a heightened state of arousal. By the time he took off his pants, you were nearly begging for him. “Jared, I need you.”

He hovered over you, his face only inches from yours. He looked into your eyes and laced his fingers through yours. “I’ve got you, Y/N. I’ll take care of you.” 

Jared made love to you slowly. He took his time and satisfied every need that was crying out from deep within you. He knew how to make you feel beautiful, knew how to make your body shake with the intensity of release, and knew how to make you feel safe after you’d opened  yourself to him completely and were feeling both satisfied and vulnerable.

You lay in his arms, your head on his chest. Jared was dragging his fingers slowly up and down your back. After a few minutes of silence, feeling the moment together, he kissed the top of your head and asked, “Could you feel it?”

You smiled, still drifting in the safe bubble he had made for you. “I felt a lot of things.”

He kissed the top of your head again and let his chin rest there. “When I touched you, could you feel that I love you?”

Your heart started to beat faster, and you raised your head to look at him. “I love you, Y/N. That’s why I don’t want to hide anymore. I want everybody to know it.”

You traced the firm line of his jaw with your fingertip. “Jared...I love you too, but that wouldn’t be good for you.” 

He sat up a little and put his hands on your shoulders. “How do you know? It wouldn’t be the first time an actor and a director were together.” 

“I don’t ever want anyone to question your talent, Jared.” Your heart was full of so many things, the truth of the words you’d just exchanged along with the fear those words evoked. 

His hands moved from your shoulders to the sides of your face. He held your face in his hands, his eyes pleading with you. “And I don’t ever want you to question how much I love you.” He dropped his hands, keeping just one under your chin to ensure you would keep looking into his eyes. “I saw what today did to you, how hard it was; but do you know what it did to me?”

No. You had no idea, hadn’t given it a thought. How could you have ignored his feelings? All you could say was “What?”

He had the most serious and pain filled expression you’d ever seen on his face. “I don’t want other women to come on to me in front of you, knowing what that’s doing to you, and not even be able to brush them off because this is a secret.” He let his hand drop from beneath your chin, trusting your eyes wouldn’t leave his now. “It hurt me to see how much you were hurting.”

“Jared, I’m sorry. I didn’t…”

He covered your lips with his fingers and shook his head. “And I was so proud of you for working right through that hurt to put something on film that will make other people happy, that will make them believe in love. It doesn’t matter that what you were showing wasn’t real. Love is real. Ours is real.”

He kissed you before you could cry again. When the kiss ended, you rested your forehead against his. “You’re right. It is real, and we shouldn’t hide it. I don’t want to hide it anymore.”

Jared’s hand was in your hair, holding the back of your head. He was so close, you could feel him breathing. “You mean more to me than anything, Y/N. You always will.”

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I hold tight to the extra as he takes the fake blade out of themselves and stabs me with it. I pop the 'blood' capsule in my mouth and let it trickle out the corner of my mouth. I chuckle and take a step towards the fake cliff edge.

"Opheila, No!" Jared yells his line from a distance. I turn to him and give a smile smile before turning back to the extra.

"This is for Claire," I say my line in a wicked tone as the extra and I fall five feet into the giant air bag waiting for us below.

"Cut!" Rich yells from his chair. "Now that's what I call a wrap up!"

The extra and I roll off the bag. Jensen is waiting for me on the ground. "That was awesome," he says steadying me. I eye Jared off in the distance. He looks me up and down and winks at me before walking off. We have plans to meet up later.

Jared and I had been sleeping together for some months now. We had plans on telling my brother but, we kind of like the sneaking around. And since we were seeing each other secretly and having amazing hot sex, it made our characters chemistry on set better. Jensen and everyone just thought that it was amazing acting. So what everyone saw as Sam touching and or kissing Opheila, was actually Jared touching and or kissing me.

"So," Jensen and I walk back to the make up area so I can get this thick make up off my face. I feel like a part time clown and part time stripper. "What do you say we go out and celebrate tonight. It'll be me, you, Jared, maybe that chick Jared had talked to months ago, and that extra that keeps checking you out."

I choke on my water. "Jared says that chick," I say chick as smooth as I can. "wasn't what he's looking for. It wasn't going anywhere. Plus what extra?"

Jensen pulls me close to him and points to a dude all dressed up in black. "The demon that you killed before your fall with Claire's killer. He's been looking at you all freaking week and I've talked with him a few times. You might actually like him. Maybe get you back into the dating game."

I choke again. "We will see about that."

After I'm make up I free. I avoid my brother at all costs. I even avoid the journalist that have been hounding me for months. Ever since word had gotten out about my return to acting. every magazine and online news outlets wanted some part of me. And it wasn't because I was on Riverdale before it was because I am YN Ackles the little sister to Jensen.

I do a million double takes as I walk towards Jareds trailer. No one and I mean no one knew about us. We hid it that well. I get to his door when a voice stops me.

"Hey," it's Misha. "Tell that knuckle head it's on." He tosses an empty bottle of fart spray towards me. I barely catch it and realize it still has a smell.

"Oh God, "I make a face and throw it back Misha. "You're fucking gross, Misha." Misha dodges it and laughs as he walks away. The guys and their games and pranks. One of these days one of their pranks are going to back fire on them. Now that will be worth watching.

I walk into the trailer and once the door closes, Jared hands are pulling me away from the visible windows and pushing me up on the wall where no one can see us. "Took you long enough," His voice purrs into my ear as he unbuttons my shirt. I close my eyes and exhale. This is the best way to relax after a day like this.

"Sorry," I fumble with my belt and pants. "I was too busy loosing my brother on set." I finally get my belt off and pants undone. I push Jared back towards his bed, he's already working on his pants. I kick my pants off and throw my already unbuttoned shirt to the side. I walk up to Jared, whose now just in his boxers. His hard erection extremely visible. The throbbing and wetness in my core is screaming for it to be inside of me.

I push Jared onto his bed and straddle his lap. His cock poking me hard through our thin underwear. Jared reaches down between us and shoves not only his underwear off but mine as well. I lift myself up and slowly lower myself over his long, thick and throbbing cock. Jared groans and falls back onto the bed as I begin to move my hips up and down. He feels so good inside of me.

After a minute, Jared sits up and flips us over. He grabs my hands and pins them above my head and thrust deeper and faster inside of me. I bite my lip to keep myself from making a sound. A few small whimpers escape me. I kick my leg up and throw them around Jared waist to make sure he stays deep inside. Jared thrusts go from lightning fast to average and sloppy. He's close and I start to feel myself tighten hard around him.

I look into his eyes, "Don't pull out," I manage to get out in between thrusts and whimpers. With that, I feel Jared slam himself into me releasing everything he's got inside of me. I feel myself let go and arch myself into his chest. Jared slowly thrusts through both our orgasms.

"Wasn't my plan for it to be that short," Jared rolls over and pulls me to his chest. "Still amazing though." He kisses my head. "I love you YN."

"I love you, too, Jared," I take a deep breath until theres a knock on the trailer door.

***

A month as gone by and we are all back home. Jared and I are still seeing each other secretly. Jensen is doing interviews and such about this latest season of Supernatural. I have been contacted multiple time about bringing back my character on Riverdale. Today I gave the middle finger to them. They did me dirty by cutting me off from the show without telling me or let alone talking to me about it. I have a lot on my plate.

Dallas Con.

I walk out of the bathroom of my hotel room and see Jared sitting on the couch. His wringing his hands as he looks up at me. I hand him the stick in my hand. "This one says negative, but the one from last night for sure said positive."  My period was a week late. It's never late. It's always been on time. Until now. Six tests later four say I could be pregnant but the other two say I may not be.  

"We just keep testing," Jared sits it next to the other test I took from last night. "Until we know for sure."

"Babe," I sit next to him and take his hand. "Danneel needed a blood test with the twins after getting wonky test results like this. I'll call an OBGYN tomorrow and get in as soon as I can." I lean in and kiss him.  

"Okay," Jared smiles. "I trust you." He stands up and I stand up with him. "Should we head on down?"

Walking down the hotel hallway, Jared stops us and looks at me. "You know, I can actually see this whole thing being possible."

"That I can convince you to rip a condom off and have you cum inside me," I say. My mind is in the same place. "And to not pull out when a condom isn't in play." Those nights and days where Jared cums in me were always the best.

"Quite a few times, actually," Jared licks his lips which he knows is a dead ass turn on for me. "If we are pregnant, we will need to tell Jensen." Jared leans down to kiss me. "You'll be an amazing mom."  

The convention is a blast. We laugh and joke about our time on set. We even answer questions about Sam and Opheila. I don't think I have ever laughed that hard before. Everything was settling down and it was my cue to go off stage. As I am walking off I hear the next question. 

"This one is for Jensen," a fan says.

"Ha! Mine," Jensen playfully pushes Jared.

"How do you feel about YN being pregnant, becoming an uncle, and Jared being officially apart of the family?"

I spin around wondering if I heard that right. Jared chokes on his water. My brother's eyes widen. Rich and Rob both have their mouths hanging open. I feel the color drain from my face. I look back to see Misha and Alex staring too. The whole ball room is quite. I look back and lock eyes with Jared. How the hell did this fan know?

"What's that?" Jensen asks looking my way.

"How do you feel about your sister and Jared becoming parents?" the Fan asked again. This time there was something in her voice that knew that no one knew.

"Um," Jensen looks back at Jared. The look on his face was unreadable. "I'm still processing that. How do you feel, bro?" Jensen says bro with enough emphasis that makes me make my way to the water.

The rest of the panel is awkward. All questions were about Jared and I. Jensen's entire face is still unreadable that made me nervous. He has only been like this a few times before and it usually ends with him being pissed off.

When the panel is over Jensen walks up to me and takes my arm and pulls me out of the ballroom. Jared is following behind. Jensen takes us to a whole other part of the hotel. Before we know it we are in an empty room. Jensen lets go of my arm and spins around and rubs his face. Jared steps closer to me but I stop him. I don't know what my brother was thinking.

"You guys are sleeping together?" He exclaims making a face. "My little sister and best friend are having sex and a baby. How long has this been going on?"

Jared and I exchange looks. "November," I look back at Jensen who has risen is eyebrows higher than they normally go.

"Six months?!" He claims. "And you guys didn't tell me?! This hurts guys. What hurts more is I have to learn that you guys are having a baby. From a fan!"

Jensen rubs his face again. Jared pulls out his phone and looks at the both of us. "Uh, Cliff is looking for me. Wants me for mine and Misha's photo op."

"Go," Jensen and I say.

I sit on the ground and Jensen sits as well. "We aren't sure if I am pregnant or not. The tests are wonky. Kind of like Dee's were with the twins. And we meant to tell you but we got caught up in the fun of sneaking around." Jensen takes a deep breath and just stares at me. "I'm sorry Jay," I reach for his hand. "If it makes you happy or feel any better, no one else knew either."

"I can see it now," Jensen looks down at the ground and starts to pull at a piece of rug. "It was right in front of me the whole time but I was blind to it." He looks up at me. "So, will you be getting a blood test?"

I nod. "The only way to know for sure. And if I really am," I pat Jensen's hand. "You'll be a kick ass uncle."

"Damn right I will be."

By the end of the next week, Jared and I go public about our relationship and the news that by the new year the two of us will be introducing our first child into the world. A couple months later, Jared and I tie the knot in a very intimate ceremony that included just both our families and closest friends. Three days before Christmas, Jared and I welcome a little girl into the world. She is the most beautiful thing on the planet and watching my brother fall in love with her melts my heart.

“Yes. And, you’re Jared and Jensen. It’s a pleasure to meet you both.” She extended her hand, giving them each a firm shake. 

‘We’ll let you get back to it. We just wanted to drop in and introduce ourselves before the first scene,” Jensen said. 

“See you later, Y/N!” Jared waved and they both left the trailer. 

~*~

“You were really great in that scene, Y/N,” Jensen complimented her as they walked toward the trailers a few days later. “You knocked it out of the park.” Jared nodded his agreement. 

Y/N couldn’t believe the fun she was having. Supernatural was by far the best set she had ever worked on, and she realized how terribly sad she was going to be when her guest spot wrapped. 

“Thanks, Jensen. That means a lot coming from you guys.” Y/N looked up, smiling shyly at them. She wrapped her arms around herself in an effort to warm up. The week started off warm enough, but a cold front had dropped the temperature significantly. 

“You cold?” Jared asked, concern lacing his voice as they approached his trailer. 

“Um, yeah. It’s crazy cold here!” she admitted. “You guys must be used to it by now, especially with the infinite layers of Winchester flannel!”

“Yeah that helps, but you don’t really get used to it. We just go back to Texas to thaw out!” Jensen laughed. “Go. I’m going to call my wife and kids. I’ll see you in a bit to finish running those lines.” 

“Come inside, let’s get you out of the cold,” Jared urged, opening his door and waving Jensen off. He ran to the back and came back with a sweatshirt, handing it to Y/N. 

“Thank you,” she acknowledged as she shrugged it over her head. It was about three sizes too big, but it was warm and smelled like Jared, making her smile. “I have the same one at home, in a slightly smaller size.”

Jared stood admiring her. It wasn’t the first time in their few days together that he had taken notice of her. Even Jensen had noticed how taken his friend was with the younger actress. 

“Oh yeah. Well, then, I should be the one thanking you for your support,” he smiled shyly, his eyes never leaving her. 

“What? Do I have something on my face from lunch?” she gasped, quickly wiping her chin in embarrassment. 

“What? No, no, nothing like that. I was just thinking you look really good in my sweater,” Jared blushed as he looked away. “I’m sorry. That was, I, uh, fuck, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Jared, it’s okay. You’re not making me uncomfortable. If anything, I’m flattered. You’re Jared Padalecki. You’re Sam Fucking Winchester, and just being in your presence this week has been an honor in itself. I’m not just a fan of the show, and I don’t have one of these just to show my support.” Her eyes cast down as she pushed up the sleeves on the sweater he had loaned her. 

Jared was speechless. He had met dozens upon dozens of fans at conventions that had shared their stories of struggle and stories of triumph with him, but he had never encountered anyone else in the business that shared something like this with him. He moved closer, taking her hands, his thumbs gently rubbing over the jagged scars. “You’re a warrior.” 

“Because of you, Jared,” she whispered. “You and your campaign made a difference and are the reason I didn’t give up, that I keep fighting every single day. You gave me the will to get up and keep going, keep fighting.”

“Wow, I am even more impressed with you now than I was before. You’re smart, talented, beautiful, and a fighter, just like me,” he murmured. “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.”

“I still have some bad days, but they’re fewer and far between. I’m in a good place now. And, hey, I landed a guest spot on my favorite show and got to meet you. The path may be dark and twisted, but it led me to the light,” she said. “It led me to you, Jared.” 

“Go to dinner with me tonight?” Jared blurted out. “I mean, if you want. I’d love to hear more of your story, if you’re willing to share, that is. No pressure, I promise.” 

“I’d like that. I know the fans often tell you of their own stories and struggles, and it must weigh on you. Let me be there for you. After all, you’ve done so much for the rest of us, let me do something for you,” Y/N countered. 

“That sounds really great, actually,” Jared sighed, feeling lighter. Just as he opened his mouth, the door of his trailer swung open.

 “Okay, I’m back! You ready?” Jensen asked, rushing through the door, only to stop when he saw his best friend and Y/N holding hands. “What the fuck did I miss?”

“Nothing,” Y/N said.

“She’s a warrior, Jen,” Jared whispered. 

“I told you she was perfect for you. When are you going to stop doubting me and realize that I am always right?” Jensen smirked, patting his buddy on the back. “Well, like ninety-eight percent of the time!”

~*~

Jared and Y/N had taken it slow and laid a solid foundation over the last six months, making their relationship more stable than even they could have anticipated. When he asked for her opinion on the new campaign, she immediately knew it wasn’t just a new campaign, but a gift for her. A gift of his appreciation, admiration, and support for sharing her story with him and the fandom at a recent convention.

Jared filmed the live stream from set with Jensen, Misha, and Y/N at his side, all donned in one of the new shirts. “Whether you are struggling with mental health yourself, or know someone who is, always keep fighting.” Jared turned to Jensen. 

“Because you are not alone,” Jensen added. ““Love yourself first.” 

“Because you are enough,” Misha contributed. “And, family always has your back.” 

“Always keep fighting,” Y/N smiled warmly into the camera. “Because you are a warrior.”

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Readers POV

When  I entered Jared’s trailer, he was face-timing the kids. The turned when I entered.  “Perfect timing, babe. They were just asking for you.”

I looked over Jared’s shoulder at the screen. “Hey, Sheppy! How’s it goin’ bud?”

Shep proceeded to laugh into a long story about some cool bug he had found before Tom apparently had enough of waiting and pushed him out of the way. “Lemme talk!” he demanded.

“Hi, Tom-Tom! I promise I will talk to everyone. How’s school?”

Tom’s face filled the small screen. “I can add now!” he said proudly

I grinned at him. Damn Jared’s kids were adorable.”Good for you! Keep up the good work. Where’s Odette?”

“She’s nappin”.  But Mamma wants to talk to you. Bye Daddy, bye, Y/N.” Without another word, Tom zoomed off, and the screen was blank.  The Gen appeared, looking like she had everything under control, as usual.

I don’t know how the woman did it. Yeah, she had help, but she had two very high energy boys, a girl that was into everything and still managed to find time to run a blog. “Hey Y/N! How is your mom? We missed you at the wedding,” Gen said with a smile.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be there. She’s much better, thanks for asking.” I replied

Jared cleared his throat. “Uh, Gen, we have something to tell you, well two things actually. I asked Y/N to marry me, and she’s pregnant.”

I leaned over his shoulder, “just to clarify, he asked me to marry him before I told him I was pregnant.” I said with a smirk.

“Oh my god! That’s wonderful news! I am so happy for you two! I can’t wait to tell David! When’s the wedding going to be?” she asked curiously.

Jared and I looked at each other. “We haven’t really talked about that yet.”

Gemini’s POV

Sam looked up from the paper I had handed him.”Jack’s in Biloxi, Missippi?”

“That’s what Kelly said,” I told him as he grabbed his laptop and entered the address into a site to get a satellite view. He turned the computer towards us.

Dean peered down at the screen. “It looks like a farm in the middle of nowhere.”

“I’m sure it will be crawling with demons,” Cas commented as he stared at the screen.

“Lucifer wouldn’t have it any other way. He knows we are going to take another crack at him, he’s just biding his time.” Sam said as he glanced at me with worry in his eyes.

“Gabriel was the only thing that kept us from getting our asses handed to us last time we tried to take on Lucifer! What’s gonna be different this time?” Dean demanded.  “If anyone has an idea I’d like to hear it.”

“Rowena,” I whispered.  “She hates Lucifer. He destroyed her body. He’s the reason she transferred her soul into me. Maybe we can strike a deal with her. Give her something she wants in exchange for her helping us.”

“I don’t trust her,” Dean snapped. “She always finds a way to screw us.”

“Do you have a better idea?” I said impatiently.

Dean looked over at Sam and they had one of those silent conversations that drove me nuts. I rolled my eyes in annoyance, would it kill you two to talk out loud lie normal people once in a while?”

Sam smiled sheepishly at me. “Sorry. Dean thinks we should call Crowley. He hates Lucifer with a passion. We can probably get him to help us. But I know how you feel about him.”

“Desperate times, Sam,” I said with a sigh. “He’s not my favorite person, but whatever we have to do to get to Jack and make it out alive, then I say we do it.”

“Fine then. You do your dream talking thing and see if Rowena will bite, and I’ll reach out to Crowley.” Dean decided.

“"What makes you think Crawley will listen to you?” I said with a smirk.

“Crowley and Dean were very close at one time. I think Dean will be able to get him to agree.,” Cas told me, and I looked at Dean with surprise.

“You and Crowley were close? Why on earth would you and the king of hell be BFFs?”

“Back when Dean was a demon, they were very close,” Cas said matter-of-factly.

“You were a damn demon? Seriously? Is there anything you two haven’t done?” I muttered with a shake of my head.

Dean glared at Cas. Thanks a lot, bigmouth!”

Cas looked completely confused as to why Dean was annoyed. “But you WERE a demon,” he repeated as if this explained everything.

I smiled at Cas. “Just ignore him. He’s just mad because he didn’t want me to know. If he can use his past with Crowley to get him to help us, then great!”

“So what kind of deal can you make with Rowena?” Sam asked.

“I don’t know. But she hates Lucifer enough that maybe she’ll help us just to see him suffer.,” I said hopefully.

Reader’s POV

Now that I was pregnant, the long days of filming were starting to take a toll on me.  When I was not needed for a scene, I could usually be found napping in Jared’s trailer. When I was late to shoot a scene because I fell asleep, the immature assholes I work with made sure to tease me about it.

“It’s about time, Sleeping Beauty. We have work to do.” Jensen said with a smirk.

“It can’t be easy carrying Gigantor junior in there. It must be sucking the life from you like a parasite,” Misha interjected.

“Guys…” Jared said warningly.

“For your information, children, you get to have all the fun, but we women are the ones who do the heavy lifting. So until you are ready to carry a baby, shut the fuck up!” you practically snarled.

Jensen and Misha held their hands up in mock surrender.  “We were just messing with ya, Y/N,” Jensen said consolingly.

“Well knock it off, or I’ll rat you out to both your wives.”

Misha’s eyes widened, “you wouldn’t dare!”

“Try me!” you said with a grin.

Gemini’s POV

I struggled that night to fall asleep. I didn’t like sharing my head with Rowena.  Every time she hijacked my body and I lost chunks of time, I resented her for it.  But eventually, exhaustion won out and I drifted off to sleep.

Just like before I was back in the dark, cave-like space, and I could barely make out Rowena’s figure in the shadows. “Hello, Rowena,” I whispered, not sure who else was listening.

“So, here for my help, are you?” she said with a cold smile.

“How do you.....I began, but she cut me off.

“I am always in the background listening, dearie. So if you want to count on my help to fight Lucifer and fetch his wee son, it’s going to cost you.”

“Cost me what?” I demanded impatiently. “Name your terms!”

“Normally I have healing spells in place so I can’t be killed, but after the last time, I took precautions. That is why I transferred my soul into you. Lucifer destroyed my body so thoroughly there was no way I could come back from it this time.”

“Tell me something I don’t know!” I snapped in annoyance.

“What’s left of me is sitting in an evidence box in a forensic lab in Chicago. An unsolved murder no one cares about.” I could tell Rowena was furious just by her tone of voice.

“What can I do?”

I need you to get one of my bones, there is a spell in the black grimoire that I can use to regenerate my body.  That is my price for helping you.”

Licking his lips, he knocked on your door and waited. He knocked a few times, but never got an answer. “Fuck.” He breathed out. He was really starting to worry.

As he walked in his front door, he called Jensen. “Hello?”

“Please tell me you’ve at least seen her..” Jared tossed his keys and wallet onto the table and grabbed a beer.

“Not since I said goodbye to you at work, buddy. Sorry.”

“Fuck.. I tried to go by their place.. No ones answering. She’s not answering her phone either..”

“Uh.. You uh, you might want to check her twitter…” Jensen sighed. “Let’s just say her last tweet wasn’t a happy one.”

“What? She’s on twitter?”

“Everyone’s on twitter. Idjit.” Jensen said in his best ‘Bobby’ voice. Jared opened his laptop and starting typing. “You’re not going to like it. Just warning you now.”

“Shit.. Oh fuck Jen.. Fuck.” He could feel his heart breaking all over again. “What if she left again? What if she’s gone? I can’t, Jen, I can’t lose her again.. FUCK!” Jared slammed his laptop shut.

Jensen sighed. “You can’t have both, Jare. You can’t go back to Gen, and expect Y/N to just sit around and hope for some small scraps of your affection.”

“I don’t! I just.. She said she wouldn’t leave me.. I haven’t even heard from River. I miss him, I miss my son..” Jared hung his head. “What do I do if she took off with him again? No one even knows he’s mine, I have no rights, my names not on anything…. Do I just accept that they’re gone again and there’s fuck all I can do?”

“We’ll look for her, okay? If she doesn’t turn up, we’ll look for them. I’ll help you. But you need to accept that she isn’t yours anymore. She won’t be on the sidelines forever, Jared.”

“I know.. I just.. I-”

“I know. Try and sleep, Jared. Skip the beers, or you’ll be a wreck tomorrow and you’ve got that big scene. I’ll bring breakfast.”

“Thanks.”

Every day Jared would call and every day they would go unanswered. He left messages on your machine and each day they got more desperate. He walked in one evening after 15 days without a word, and tossed everything onto the table and sat down, staring at his phone. He tried to tell himself the whole way home that he wouldn’t call. But who was he kidding. He picked up his phone and dialed. When your voice came on the line signaling your voicemail, he shut his eyes and sighed.

“Please.” He begged, after hearing the beep. “Please, just… just call me? Even if it’s just to tell me to fuck off. I-” He was cut off by a knock at his door. “Fuck, I hope that’s you.” He said before hanging up and rushing to the door. “River!”

“Hi dad.” River smiled up at him. Jared pulled him into a hug. “You’re suffocating me dad.. Are you okay?”

Jared shook his head before letting go and stepping back, letting River in. “I thought you were gone..”

“I was.” He stopped and looked up at Jared once he was a few feet inside. “I was at Grandma’s, didn’t mom tell you?”

Jared shut the door. “No.. I haven’t heard from your mom since your birthday party at Chris’s.”

“Really? I wonder why..” River looked like he was thinking about it. “She was acting weird when she shipped me off..”

“Shipped you off? Didn’t she go with you?”

River laughed and shook his head. “Mom? Stay at grandma’s that long? Oh no. Mom didn’t even last a day. Grandma’s not happy that mom won’t tell her who my dad is.”

“I’ve met your grandmother.. Why doesn’t she know?”

“Grandma’s a bit of a gossip these days. Mom says she can’t remember what a secret is, but never forgets a secret. She doesn’t want grandma spreading it around, and making things harder for you.”

Jared sighed. “So where’s your mom been for two weeks?”

“Here. At home.” Jared looked confused and started to shake his head. “Yeah, I talked to her every other day at least. She’s been home. Hey, do you know what upset her? When I got home from Chris’s, something was different. Mom was upset. I’ve never seen her so sad.”

Jared sighed. “Sit down kid.” He motioned to the couch. Once River sat, Jared sat on the coffee table right across from him. “I know you’ve been trying to get us together.” River tried to look innocent and aloof. “Gen and I.. we kinda worked things out. We’re still working things out. I’m fixing my marriage River, so please, stop pushing your mom.”

River looked down but nodded. “I thought you loved her.. I was sure of it. But it’s okay, getting Chris to plan the party so mom would be home alone in case you didn’t go to Texas, that was my last effort. It didn’t work, so.. I accepted it just wouldn’t happen. I’m sorry, dad. I stopped when I heard mom crying to grandma over the phone. I never meant to hurt her… I was just so sure you still loved her… I know she loves you.”

A few days after River showed up at his door, Jared was walking through the lot to head for his ride. They were filming on location today. He was talking to Misha when he spotted you out of the corner of his eye. “I’ll be a minute..” He wanted off towards you. “Y/N? Hey, Y/n!”

You looked up from what you were doing and watched, expressionless, as he moved closer. “Yeah?”

“Can you please stop avoiding me?” He asked as he got closer. The person you had been talking to walked away.

“I’m not.”

“Pretty sure you are.. It’s been weeks since I’ve seen you.”

“I’m not avoiding you, I’m just not going out of my way to see you.” You pointed out and turned to walk away.

“Would you just talk to me!?”

“Nothing to talk about Jared.” You waved and stepped into the building, door shutting behind you.

“Fuck.” He mumbled.

As another two weeks went by, it was much and the same. He almost never saw you, and River would go upstairs to see him. In two weeks, there had been not a word uttered between the two of you. Until today.

He was re-watching a few scenes, when he felt a hand on his back. “Can we talk?”

Turning he looked down at you. “Now you want to talk?” He was trying to be angry at you for ignoring him for weeks.

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“Because now we have something to talk about. Can we talk, or not?”

His brow furrowed. “Is it River? Is he okay?” It had been a couple of days since River had last been at his door.

“Not here..” You glanced to Jensen. “No offense.”

Jensen held up his hands. “Non-taken. You guys need to talk out your shit, I get it.”

“Trailer.” You didn’t give him a chance to protest, you just turned and walked away. “If you want to hear what I have to say, then come. If not, whatever.” You said over your shoulder.

He looked to Jensen. “You should go.” Jensen told him.

“Yeah, I should..” He sighed and followed you out. Once you were in his trailer, and the door was shut, he turned to you. “What is it?”

“You should sit.”

“No. Just tell me whatever the hell it is, so I can move on.”

“Why are you mad at me?” You glared.

“Why are you mad at me!?” Your expression changed to one of disbelief. “Don’t look at me like that, I did what you fucking told me to do! You told me to go back and shut me out! I begged you to let me in.”

“You wanted to go back, before I even told you to, you were going to..”

“I-”

“Don’t deny it. I saw you. I knew the exact moment she told you she wanted you back. I could see it in your face as you considered walking out my door. I was in the hall, Jared. I don’t blame you, she’s your wife. But don’t act like this is on me. Don’t pretend you only did it because I shut you out. It’s bullshit and you know it. All I did was give you the push you wanted to get your ass moving.”

“But why would you? Why not convince me to stay?”

“Because you needed convincing. I don’t want that. I want someone who wants to be with me. Not someone I have to try and make stay.”

“I do want you, sweetheart..”

“Don’t. Don’t start that again. You can’t have both. Especially not now…”

“Whats changed? Other than the fact that we’re barely even friends now?”

“You should really sit-”

“Just fucking tell me!” He yelled.

“I’m pregnant, Jared!” You yelled back.

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Tagging : My son, bringer of storms -   @alex-zeppelin 

Jared - @evyiione

Supernatural - @roxyspearing @tardis-full-of-fallen-angels @mrs-celestial-dragneel-redfox23 @internationalmusicteacher @extreme-supernatural-lover @super100012 @legend-o-zelda @myloveforyouxx @kickasscas67 

Everyone knew this night wouldn’t last forever, you especially. The tumor that had originated in your brain had metastasized to virtually your entire body. It was in your lungs, and bones deeming it as irreparable.

The tumor was killing you, and you were going to die.

From the day you and your father found out that the tumor had spread, the doctors had given you three months to live.

Now, exactly three months later, you were on your last night. Everyone could feel it in the air, even the children who are usually rowdy in the presence of each other were dead silent.

The entire Supernatural family was crammed into the small hospital room. They all wanted to be with you when the time finally came, lord knows you were all there for them.

“Take your time,” Jensen breathed out. He knew this line was the worst possible thing to sing in this situation, “Don’t live too fast.”

The tears forming in Jensen‘s eyes were becoming harder and harder to conceal as the lump in his throat made it hard to sing.

He swallowed as Jason continued strumming, “Troubles will come, and they will pass.”

Misha looked from Jared, to Jensen, to you. Jared watched you intently, the love and worry clear in his eyes. He loved you more than life itself. Misha knew it would kill his best friend when your time came. Jensen sang while Jason played the guitar. It was obvious it was hard for the both of them to not break down and cry. You were laid on your back in the small hospital bed. Jared was at your right side, holding your hand. Your head was turned to the left, your eyes focused on Jensen and Jason. A small smile was playing on your lips.

It took almost all of your strength to turn your head to the side. Jared gave you a soft smile and wiped his eyes of tears.

“I love you, Daddy,” you voice cracked from your dry throat.

The tears that Jared tried to hide came flowing back tenfold, “I love you too, baby. I always will.”

“I’m sorry, Daddy,” you whispered as tears of your own came flowing down your face.

Jared scooted closer to you, a large hand falling on your bald head, “There is nothing you need to be sorry for, Y/N,” Jared said fiercely, “Nothing at all. You are everything I could’ve asked for in a daughter, you understand? I love you more than anything else,” he said.

A tear fell from the corner of your eye, and you nodded. You gave him a weak smile, “Don’t be forever alone, okay?”

Jared raised an eyebrow, “I don’t know what you mean.”

You rolled your eyes, “Find someone, dad,” you said, “You’re not getting any younger,” your voice was raspy, the strain on your vocal chords obvious. “Find yourself a hot lady friend.”

Jared huffed a laugh, “You’re insane.”

“I wonder who I got that from.”

Jared’s tears fell against your hospital gown as he leaned over and kissed your forehead.

“I don’t want to see you for years, you understand?”

The dam broke behind Jared’s eyes, “I don’t think I can wait that long.”

Your eyelids became heavy. You knew the end was drawing near. “Daddy, I‘m scared.”

“I know, honey. I know.”

“Does it hurt?”

Jared shook his head, “Quicker and easier than falling asleep.”

“You’re not Sirius Black; how do you know?”

“Because all the pain that you’re feeling now will be gone. You’ll be in your happy place. You’ll be happy.”

“But I’m happy here. I want to stay here with you guys.”

“I know, baby. But sometimes you need to let go,“ The words Jared was saying almost killed him, but his baby girl was in pain, and she needed relief.

“I love you, Daddy,” you could feel your heart rate slowing, “I love all of you guys,” you tried to say slightly louder so everyone could hear you.

Almost everyone nodded or hummed, they heard you. They know you love them, and you know they love you.

That was all you ever wanted, so you did as your father said.

You let go.

Your body shuddered as you drew in your last breath and released it.

Jared watched as your chest fell. He was waiting for it to rise again, but it never did; it never would. The long drawn out beep from your heart monitor only confirmed his worst fears.

His baby girl was dead.

He took your small, pale hand in his much larger ones, and pressed his forehead to his knuckles as sobs wracked his body.

Danneel pressed her hand to her mouth, trying to contain her own tears. She looked over to her husband to see tears flowing down his face.

Misha’s crestfallen face soon had his own tears sliding down to his chin, not stopping until they got to the collar of his shirt.

The entire room was in tears.

But no one more than Jared.

His entire body shook with the force of his cries.

The only thought running through his head was enough to send him through a downward spiral lasting for years:

My daughter is dead.

Jared sat at the first pew, just staring.

The service had been done with for over an hour, and everyone had left him alone.

He looked at the small casket, the memories flying around in his brain, burning him with nostalgia.

The first time Jared saw you, you were in a baby carrier on his front steps.

There was a piece of paper pinned to your shirt with a name and date scrawled across it.

‘Y/N Padalecki’ it said. ‘07/23/02′

Next to your carrier was a diaper bag filled with clothes, diapers, bottles, formula, and large manila envelope.

Jared took you inside his house and set the carrier down on the kitchen island.

He opened the manila envelope, pulling out its contents.

Inside there were six things.

One, your birth certificate. Two, a paternity test proving that the child in the car seat was his. Three, a picture of the baby next to a woman that Jared vaguely remembered. Four, a letter addressed to Jared. Five, a letter addressed to Y/N Padalecki. Six, signed custody papers from a courthouse in Texas.

Jared opened the letter first. The letter described the night two people met. The two people being Jared and this mystery woman. The letter told Jared that this mystery woman stole a toothpick from Jared’s trailer trashcan and used it later to prove Jared’s paternity. The letter then described the predicament the baby’s mother was in. She is a drug addict and can’t take care of a baby. She grew up in an orphanage, and didn’t want to put her child through the same things, so she dropped the baby off on Jared’s front step. The letter said that there was another letter with Y/N’s name on it, and she wanted Y/N to open it when she turned 18. It was signed by a person named Becca Wilson.

Jared looked from the white college ruled paper filled with black ink, to the sleeping baby in the car seat.

Jared could see the resemblances. You had his nose and hair. Your eyes were not yet open so he couldn’t see the color of your eyes.

Seconds later, your eyes fluttered open, and in an instant, Jared knew that he couldn’t let you go. You had his eyes.

Jared ran a hand down his face. He never regretted his decision to take you in. You were his daughter. No matter what.

Even when you were ten, and the doctor spoke those horrible words, Jared never wanted to let you go.

The doctor knocked on the door. Jared voiced a quiet “Come in.”

Your migraines were getting worse as the days wore on, so Jared finally took you to your pediatrician.

The doctor took off his glasses and rubbed his aged face with his right hand.

“Mr. Padalecki,” he said as he replaced his glasses. “Y/N has a tumor in her brain.”

Jared felt the air being punched out of his gut at those words.

His baby girl had cancer.

He held you close to his chest that night as you slept. After the doctor’s appointment, and scheduling a consultation with a pediatric oncologist, you and Jared went home to watch a marathon of cheesy movies and pig out on ice cream.

That night, as he held your small frame, he cried.

He cried and prayed to a God he’s not sure he believes in to spare your life.

You were the greatest kid Jared knew, and he wasn’t just saying that because you were his daughter.

You were kind and caring and compassionate. You were understanding of Jared’s depression and helped him get through it.

He wanted to walk you down the aisle, and threaten the boys that you brought home. He wanted to protect you for the rest of his life.

Jared buried his face in his hands. “God, Y/N,” he choked out. “I’m so sorry sweetheart. I wish I could have done more to protect you.” His voice broke and he was yet again reduced to tears.

He jumped as he felt a hand land on his back. Through tear filled eyes, he could see his best friend.

Jensen sat down next to Jared. Jared’s body shook as a sob was ripped from his body. Without a second thought, Jensen wrapped his arms around his best friend’s neck, bringing his head to his chest, “It's going to get better,” Jensen found it hard to speak around the lump in his throat. “I promise.”

Years after your death, Jared listened to your words, and found himself a hot lady friend.

Her name is Genevieve Cortese.

Well, Padalecki now.

Jared had three kids with her. Two boys and a little girl.

All throughout their childhood, Jared’s kids knew about their big sister, watching them from Heaven

And when the famous actor and generous man died of old age, you jumped happily into your father’s arms.

“I see you took my advice,” you said with a smile.

please don't kill me

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