#japlis

"Honestly after my first attempts at drowning you I was expecting anytime I invited you into the water you would scream and toss something at me"

"There are a million ways you could kill me in this house and no one would know. But you haven't tried to hurt me in a long time so I figured you were out of your pissy teenager stage"

Someone told a sassy mermaid he could wander the house and now whenever she comes home there's a mostly-blind pissy wet mermaid stealing her pillows and bed.