#jankspace

I’m J, she/her, 26, wlw, musician, artist, occupational shit poster

Exhume the rotting flesh 

Of what used to be 

My body 

Buried in a field 

Where there used to a tent 

No crypt 

It’s cryptic

No grand mausoleum 

Couldn’t beat em

Guess I’ve joined ‘em 

When I want someone 

To hold me 

No ones there 

I guess it’s fair 

I’d love to say it’s not 

It is

It’s not that I will go to hell 

It’s that I’m very much right in it

I deserve it. 

I don’t know what it means to repent

I was raised agnostic 

And in cockpits 

Of fast flying vehicles 

It’s a curse 

To have been raised 

Being loved 

In all the wrong ways 

Rare rays 

Through the canopy’s 

And gravel all around 

I remember the summer 

The roads kept caving in

On a whim- 

Would you take me? 

What do you think I mean? 

I do

I used to spend a lot of time

On bathroom floors 

Passed out 

Vomiting 

Sleeping 

Spit it out and choke on it

Or watch me

Decomp and rot 

Pale, cold, chunky, 

Wet dirt below 

But the sun

In the sky 

Glares hot 

The fair grounds are packed 

It’s like no one can see me 

Shovelling six feet’s worth 

Of dirt 

Until I hit her ribcage 

Adolescent 

Neotenic

Bones not yet mature 

All the allure 

Of glitter and liquor 

Eaten away by the mites

Years ago 

I remember when 

the rain came down

You pulled me in 

And kissed me 

On the top of my wet hair 

And I know 

That you thought 

That I was sleeping 

I remember when the floodgate fell 

And the floor dropped out

From under me 

I think that’s where 

I’m standing now 

Past town

If you take that east exit 

Off the highway 

Going south 

I think I’m getting pretty tired 

Call me back if you have anything to ask me? 

Try not to worry

I love you 

See you Monday

Can you see me?

Am I real? 

I’m not sure that 

I’m alive 

I hide 

In all the negatives 

But maybe 

Once it’s all developed 

You will see me 

Maybe somebody will see me

It’s raining again

I’m alone 

To atone 

This original sin 

Since now I’ve been awake 

In a way 

here's a link 2 listen to my song darling