#janiya

She shook her head, stumbling back a step.  It was so silent.  She - someone touched her shoulder, and she startled violently.  Gavin backed off, hands raised, and his mouth was moving as well.

She felt like she was underwater.  She felt like she was in a dream.

“Can’t hear you,” she said, or thought she said, because she couldn’t even hear herself - she could feel her throat vibrate, but she had no idea what came out.

Gavin frowned.  Ash raised an eyebrow.

“I can’t hear anything,” she said, a lump rising in her throat, and clearly her panic was evident, because Ash’s face scrunched up and Gavin reached out slowly to grab her shoulders.

Janiya let him, because she felt like she was going to float away, like the whole world was behind a muffled sheet of glass and she clutched at Gavin’s arms as she tried to remember how to breathe.

Gavin was mouthing something at her, taking large, exaggerated breaths, and she was trying, she was, but her heart was beating too fast and she was gasping and she couldn’t hear any of it.

Black spots danced around her vision, and she held Gavin tighter, her grip no doubt painful, but he didn’t let go of her, not even when her knees wavered as the room shifted around her.

Her collapse was more controlled than sudden, and Gavin had an arm around her shoulders, rubbing her back as he gently but firmly pushed her head down, forcing her to take a deep breath as the pounding in her head lessened.  She couldn’t hear anything he was saying, but she could feel his arms, feel the pulse below his skin, feel the gentle circles he was tracing in her back.

She looked up, vision blurry as a lump swelled in her throat, and she could see his mouth moving, words that weren’t intended for her, an expression crinkling to sympathy and protectiveness.  She couldn’t let go of his arms, and he didn’t try to make her.

“We should probably work on that expression, next,” the man said.

What.  Janiya couldn’t keep the fear off her face, could only throttle it as she narrowed her eyes.  The man laughed and reached out a hand – she jerked back before it could touch her face.

“Eyes full of fire,” he said in sick amusement, “But what happens if the flames go out?”

There was a needle in his hand.  There was a needle and Janiya couldn’t jerk away, not far enough to stop him, and the pinprick of metal sliding into skin was nothing compared to the burning as the plunger depressed.

The world went blurry. She blinked, trying to clear them of tears, her lips bitten red with the effort to not scream because they would sow her lips shut at the slightest sound, she blinked, again and again and –

The world wasn’t getting any clearer.

“When they said fast-acting, I had no idea,” the man murmured.

The world was going dark. Janiya tried to blink, tried to wake up, tried to stop the blackness from stealing over but there was nothing she could do.  Everything went gray, before vanishing entirely.

“Perfect,” the man laughed. “You look so much better without that nasty glare.”

Janiya wanted to glare back. She wanted to snarl.  She wanted to scream.

“Janiya?”  She nods and uncurls slightly.

“You’re hurt,” he says slowly, but despite his careful tone, she presses further into the corner, her eyes going wide.  She begins to shake her head, trembling, until Darin eases back another step.

“Okay,” he says, raising his hands, “I’m not going to touch you, Janiya, see?”  She watches him warily.  Gavin’s voice drops in tone, and so does Ivy’s. 

“Are you hurt anywhere else?” he asks.  She shakes her head no.  The movement causes blood to seep from one of the stitches and Darin has to breathe slowly to avoid losing his lunch.

“Can I take a look at –”

Janiya shakes her head violently and Darin sighs.  She refuses to let any of them close to her.  She refuses to let any of them touch her.  And the stitches crisscross across her face, jutting out from skin stretched taut and glistening red wherever the light strikes them.

“Janiya,” he says, trying a different tack, “You’re hurting.  I can help.”  She watches him like he’s a wolf trying to get closer to the fire.

“It’ll get infected if it stays in too long,” he warns, but she stays curled up, her eyes tracking him as a threat, and he straightens up to move away.  He’ll try again later.  Perhaps when they’re back at headquarters.  The wounds will get infected, but the damage will be worse if she fights him and giving her some time to calm down will help.

Unfortunately, they don’t have the time.

It’s Ash who speaks, slicing through the rest of the muttering with a terse, “They’re tracking us.” 

“What?” Ivy asks as Gavin demands, “How?”

“Give me a moment to trace it,” Ash mutters, fiddling with the device in his hands, but everyone in the room is already turning to stare at Janiya.

Her breaths grow fast and shallow and she presses back into the corner like if she tries hard enough, she’ll disappear.

“Janiya, did they tag you with a tracker?” Gavin asks.

She shakes her head violently, but her hands creep over her mouth.  Ash is moving towards her and he stops, pointing the sensor at her face.

“Janiya,” Darin says quietly.  She presses back further in the corner.  “Janiya, we need to get the tracker out.”

She keeps shaking her head, her eyes skittering around the room as she curls up further.

“We can’t lead them back to the base,” Ash says, and he half-turns to the door, “They’ll be here in five minutes.  Maybe less.”

Gavin’s face is a mask of stone.  Ivy is biting her lips.  Rita is watching Janiya, cool and still.

“Gavin…” Darin starts, unsure of what he’s going to say.

“We need to get rid of the tracker,” Ash says, his tone wavering between determined and hesitant. They’re all staring at Janiya now, who looks about three seconds away from hyperventilating.

“We can’t let them follow us,” Gavin says finally.  And everyone knows that leaves only two options.

They won’t leave Janiya behind to the very same people that did this to her.  Unfortunately, option number two isn’t much better. 

Janiya scrabbles further into the corner, but there’s nowhere to go.  Her breaths are too high and too fast.  Darin approaches slowly.

“Janiya, we need to get the stitches out so we can remove the tracker,” Darin says, hands out, voice calm, “I’m going to do it as fast as possible, okay?”

Janiya shakes her head no.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Darin says, because she needs to calm down, he needs her to calm down.  “Please, Janiya, we need to get it out.”

Janiya is definitely hyperventilating now, her face is pale and her eyes are wide and she’s shaking, her gaze darting all over the room, her hands covering her face.

“Three minutes,” Ash says unhelpfully.  Kai is at the window, watching for hostiles.

“Darin,” Gavin says, his voice low.

Darin knows.  His stomach twists, but they’re out of time.

“Ash,” he says softly, “Ivy.”  They both come to his side.  Janiya stares at him, her eyes glittering.  Fresh blood has begun to leak from her wounds.

“Grab her arms,” he says.

Janiya’s eyes widen – she tries to fight, but Ash and Ivy drag her out of the corner.  She struggles violently until they push her to the floor.  Darin straddles her, pinning her down to get the best access to her mouth.

She’s shuddering, trying desperately to yank her arms out of Ash and Ivy’s grip, trying to buck him off, slamming her head violently out of the way of his hands.  Her eyes are blown wide in panic and she’s no longer listening – Darin can’t keep ahold of her jaw and cut the threads out at the same time.

“Gavin,” he calls, and their leader comes to kneel at Janiya’s head.  He grasps her face carefully, thumbs curling high on her cheekbones and fingers splaying down her cheeks, holding her in place. 

Janiya stares at him in deep, betrayed terror.

Darin works fast – because they don’t have any time, because he can feel the nausea rising with every stifled whimper, because Janiya struggles fiercely and almost tears out the stitches as he works.

He works fast, but he’s still careful.  Each thread is clipped precisely, freeing up her lips bit by bit.  He doesn’t bother to remove the threads, they don’t have time for that and Janiya’s hysteria has welled over into straight-out terror.

Three-fourths of the way through, she stops struggling.  She stares blankly at the ceiling, tears dripping down her face in tune to shallow breaths.

Gavin’s face looks like it’s been carved from stone.  Ivy is looking away, unable to watch, but Ash is staring like it’s a punishment.

Darin finishes cutting through the stitches and jams his fingers into her mouth before she can bite down.  He has no time to be gentle, so he grabs the phone Ash hands him and shines a flashlight into Janiya’s mouth.

Something is attached to the last tooth on the back left.  Darin attempts to get it out by himself as Janiya chokes underneath him.

He tilts the flashlight to get a better look.

“I can see them,” Kai calls out, “About thirty seconds out.”

Darin breathes in, slow and deep, and out, steady and firm.  It’s a wisdom tooth.

Ash wordlessly hands him the pliers.  Gavin’s face has gone bloodless.  Ivy looks like she’s going to be sick.

Janiya takes one look at the tool in his hand before something shutters behind her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Darin breathes out, and holds her mouth open as wide as it’ll go.  She starts struggling again, incomprehensible pleas coming out gargled and strangled. 

Darin squeezes the pliers around the last tooth –

Takes a breath –

And pulls.

Janiya screams.

“We need to leave now,” Kai yells as the gunfire starts.

Darin throws the bloody tooth-and-tracker at Ash, who exchanges it for a wad of cloth that Darin presses to the gaping hole at the back of Janiya’s mouth.  “Bite down,” he instructs as he gets off, fervently hoping she doesn’t swallow it.

Gavin jumps to the door to exchange fire and Ivy pulls Janiya to her feet.  She is still crying – eyes wide and red, face pale and blotchy, black thread and blood shining around her lips – and she stumbles after Ivy with a face blank with shock.

~#~

Ivy moved to block Ash’s view as Rita tugged Janiya to face her, inspecting the muzzle for any sign of how to get the pincers out.  Janiya watched Ivy out of the corner of her eye – she didn’t know what was wrong with Ash, but she could sense the tension.

What did it matter? They never told her anything useful. Even when she had been pack, she had never really been one of them.

The part inside of her that had clenched in…not fear, exactly, but something close when she’d stumbled out of the warehouse to see Gavin, coiled tighter.

When the car rolled to a stop, Janiya was almost relieved.  The tension had seethed around them, five people who weren’t saying a word, and when the car doors opened, the strain eased.

And then Janiya caught sight of home – house, it was just a house now, she’d lost what little claim she’d had – and the tension eeled right back up her spine.

She didn’t want to be back here.  She didn’t want Gavin hovering over her with wide eyes or Darin trying to examine her wounds or their looks – she could see them, she was mute not blind, she could tell what pity looked like, could see that they felt sorry for her in the way they moved out of her path and stayed silent.

“Where?” Gavin asked, his eyes hard, “Where are the latches?”  Janiya pointed them out, the eleven throbbing points of pain across her face as she held the muzzle up.  And then went still as conversations cut out all across the room.

Ash was back.  He moved like he was ready to tear apart anything that stood in his path and Janiya flinched back when he crouched in front of her.

He was careful, gentle, as he turned her face to examine the muzzle from all sides, but he wasn’t looking at her.  Janiya wasn’t sure whether or not he even registered her presence.

“It’s Raklive make,” Ash said, with the tone of someone who knew this intimately.  Janiya’s breathing had turned shallow and her gaze was locked with the hollowness of his eyes.

“Do you know how to remove it?” Gavin asked.

“It can’t be removed,” Ash said, straightening up.  He looked lost.  He looked afraid.  He looked angry.  “They didn’t design their toys to have an off switch.”

Janiya sucked in a sharp breath – what did he mean it couldn’t be removed, it had to be removed, Janiya was not spending the rest of her life with a piece of metal stuck to her face –

“How did you get yours off?” Darin asked.

Ash met her gaze and his fingers drifted up to brush his cheek.

“I ripped it off,” he said harshly, before he turned and walked out of the room.

Janiya’s fingers immediately tightened on her own muzzle, though thankfully no one looked ready to follow through on his strategy.  She wasn’t a werewolf and she didn’t have supernatural healing.  If they tore the muzzle off, several chunks of her face would go with it.

There was a long, stunned moment of silence before the room erupted into noise.

Janiya winced, pressing back further into the couch cushions as Darin began arguing with Gavin, Ivy starting to propose increasingly unlikely ideas for getting the muzzle off.  Rita’s face was a storm cloud, and Fei went after Ash.  The arguing, the noise, all of it was grating on Janiya’s last nerve.

The anger rose up, the seething, searing hatred that had coalesced when she sat down in her apartment and stared at four walls and thought ‘this is it’.  She wasn’t a child.  She wasn’t ignorant.  She knew that monsters stalked the night.

She had runes carved into her threshold.  A bread knife made of silver.  Blessings carved into the water tank.  She knew how to read the news to find the cover-ups underneath the headlines, and how to listen for the hints of the otherworldly in rumors and gossip. 

And if some uppity bunch of werewolves hadn’t decided she would be great collateral against her old pack, she wouldn’t be in this mess.

She snapped her fingers, not pausing until Gavin turned towards her, frowning.  She mimed writing and gave him her best glare.

“Sorry, Janiya,” his face twisted, “I’ll get you something to write on.” The arguments died down but the hissed conversations continued and Janiya’s mood grew darker.  She snatched the pad and pen when Gavin returned, and started to write, fast and blocky and furious. 

‘Stop.  Stop arguing.  It isn’t helping.’

“Janiya,” Gavin sighed, reading as she wrote, “We need to figure out a way to get it off of you.  Be patient.”

‘No’ – and the pen almost tore through paper.  ‘You don’t need to do anything.  Give me a ride back to the city.’ 

“Janiya,” Gavin’s voice was lower.  Darker.  “We’re not leaving you like this.”

‘Like you give a damn what happens to me.  I’m not pack.’  Janiya underlined that last sentence twice.  ‘I don’t want to stay here.  Let me go.’

“No.”  And that tone was hard and flat and not what Janiya expected and she glanced up from the paper, stunned.  Gavin was staring at her, arms crossed, jaw set, eyes stormy.  She could see a hint of fangs.

‘LET.  ME.  LEAVE.’

“Not until we get that off your face,” Gavin said, his tone not brooking any form of disagreement.

Janiya breathed, in and out, until the urge to rip Gavin’s face off had subsided.  They couldn’t get it off.  Ash had made that clear.  And she would rather go to a hospital than stay here, in a home she couldn’t have, surrounded by a pack that didn’t want her, and be forced to accept the scraps of care offered out of a sense of moral responsibility. 

It was their fault she had the muzzle on her face.  She did not want to sit here, defenseless, in the midst of people who despised her, and wait for the other shoe to drop.

She tugged the pad closer and began writing furiously, ignoring the way the pen skidded.  The muzzle was heavy in her hand and she bowed her head to support her elbow on her knee as she wrote.

When she was done, she ripped the paper off, straightened, and slapped the note against Gavin’s chest before spinning on her heel and heading for the door.

‘I said no.  I’m not in your pack, you’ve made that abundantly clear. I don’t want your pity, nor am I going to beg for scraps from your table.  You are, in fact, the reason I have a piece of metal fixed to my face.

You made your decision.  Don’t walk it back because you feel sorry for me. I’ve managed perfectly fine before I met you all, and I managed perfectly fine after you left.  Don’t delude yourself into thinking you’re a hero.

If you won’t give me a ride back to the city, fine.  I’m leaving.’

Janiya was almost to the door when Gavin’s voice cut through the tense silence.  “Stop her,” he said quietly and Janiya snarled inside her head when her path was barred by Rita.

Glaring didn’t set the werewolf on fire, and Janiya submitted with bad grace as Rita pushed her back to the couch.

Gavin was still reading, his face blank except for the tic pulsing at his jaw.  He took his time and Janiya crossed her left arm to support her right elbow as she held the muzzle up, her teeth grinding together.

Finally, he looked up and Janiya actually stepped back at the rage in his eyes.  He crumpled the note in his hands. 

“You are not leaving,” he said, the low volume doing absolutely nothing to hide that this was his alpha growl, “You are staying here until we get that muzzle off your face.  Is that clear.”

Janiya wasn’t a werewolf, but she still felt the urge to bare her neck in the face of his anger.  She swallowed that urge, her fingers tightening into a shaking fist, and jerked her shoulders.

If he really wanted to keep her here, she didn’t have a choice.

~#~

There’s warmth around her and Janiya clutches it desperately, burying her face in something warm and humming, hiding so no one can grab her face and hurt her some more.

The warmth shifts around her, and then settles, and Janiya can’t stop herself from crying, can’t stifle the whimpers and hitched breaths, can’t swallow past the giant lump in her throat, can’t stop the ragged breaths or the fresh tears that leak past her eyes or the ache in her heart like something is being torn out slowly.

The car stops and she clings harder – she doesn’t want to leave the warmth, doesn’t want to face whatever new torture they have in store because they may be her teammates but they aren’t her friends.

The warmth tightens around her and she goes with it, stumbling out of the car.  The connection breaks for a second as she steps out of the door – and it’s Ash looking down at her, in concern, in pity.

She recoils from him, and his expression goes blank.

She stays silent as they enter the safe house.  It’s not one she’s seen before and she stays in the corner and watches as they sweep the room and confirm that no one is tracking them.

Her lips are burning. Her jaw aches.  Her mouth tastes like pennies.

Every time she closes her eyes she can see Gavin’s face looking down at her, cold and forbidding.

She flinches when his eyes land on her now, and he stills.

She swallows – shit – and presses further back into the corner like she can disappear if she tries hard enough.

He murmurs something to Darin, and now both of them are looking at her.  She tries to keep breathing, but it’s difficult, she feels the floor at her back and the weight on her stomach and the awful certainty that no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t fight them off –

“Janiya,” Darin says quietly, “Why don’t you come sit on the couch and I’ll clean the rest up?”

It isn’t a question. It’s an order.  If she doesn’t sit on the couch, she’ll be pinned on the floor. Janiya swallows down the scream clawing at her throat and does as she’s bid.  This way she’ll keep what little dignity she can scrape back – oh god, they held her down and watched her cry and Janiya never wanted to be vulnerable in front of these people that she works with but never trusted.

She settles on the couch and stares straight ahead, staying perfectly still.  “I need to make sure you don’t move,” Darin says, his expression twisting and Janiya stares straight ahead and does not blink as her vision goes blurry.  Ash and Ivy settle on either side of her, but do not touch her.  Not yet.

Hands curl around her face and tug her back to lean against the back of the couch.  Janiya keeps her hands relaxed and does not move because if she twitches a finger she won’t be able to stop fighting and the thought of being held down again makes her want to scream.

“Ready?” Gavin asks from above her.  His hands are warm.  Janiya tries to seize that, to focus on the warmth and not on the way his fingers could constrict in a moment.

Janiya stares straight ahead and does not move.  There are fingers around her mouth, careful and precise.

And something catches on the thread and pulls.

Janiya stops breathing – for a moment she is somewhere else, for a moment there are hands on her face, laughing as she screams, tugging thread through her lips and oh god it burned –

Janiya stares straight ahead and does not move.  She is in the safe house.  She is an underground bunker.  She is surrounded by her teammates and no one is holding her down.  She is surrounded by enemies and their faces blur in her vision as she fights against her shackles.  The threads are sliding out of her, piece by agonizing piece.  The threads are sliding into her, piece by agonizing piece.  She cannot move.  She cannot move.  She cannot –

“Stop,” someone says, cracked and horrified, and there are no more hands on her face.

There is warmth around her and she buries herself in it, into the cocoon where no one can force a needle through her face.

She is dimly aware that someone is shouting but the vibrations are soothing and the warmth is tight and comforting.

“– can’t you see her face?”

“Ash, the wounds will get infected –”

“Is it worth destroying her trust in us forever, because –”

“The sooner we get this over with, the sooner it’s done.”

“No, really, didn’t you see her face?  She isn’t even here, she looks like she’s back with the bastards that did this to her –”

“Ash –”

“We held her down and forced her mouth open and pulled out a tooth –” Janiya shivers, because she does not want to remember.  “– but that was necessary.  This isn’t.”

“Ash –”

“No.  And that’s final.  We aren’t doing this until either she calms down or we get her sedated.”

“Ash, she came and sat down. She wants to get this over with, you don’t –”

“She came and sat down because she thought you’d hold her down if she didn’t.  I.  Said.  No.”

“Fine,” someone snaps, short-tempered, “Have it your way.”  Something inside Janiya eases at the sound of footsteps walking away.

The warmth is comforting. The warmth is safe.  There is a lilting melody that Janiya does not recognize, a low voice humming in tune with the vibrations under her cheek.  She burrows deeper.

The warmth will not attack her.  And that’s all she needs to know.

~#~

Her clothes had gone clammy and no one had even offered to turn up the heat.  A few guards drifted near the light but she couldn’t see or hear anything beyond it and squinting at the darkness only conjured up shapes in the shadows. 

The pack wasn’t coming for her, and it looked like she was in for a long wait.

Worse – the idea that had been niggling at her ever since they said that the pack had been contacted – they would come for her, and Janiya would have to endure them staring at her with pity and resignation, that even banishing her from the pack wasn’t enough to get rid of her.  That they’d come out of some stupid sense of obligation and she’d get another lecture on not putting the pack in danger, like any of this was her fault –

Janiya blinked watery eyes, trying to choke back the tears.

No.  They wouldn’t come.  She had to hope they wouldn’t come.  That her captors would realize the futility of waiting and get rid of her. Or she’d freeze to death.  Or – what was it, three days without water? Nothing was going to get through the muzzle, so she had to wait three days.

Janiya closed her eyes and tried to think of home – the apartment with the shitty water pressure and – the tut-tut-tut of sprinklers across the lawn – no, the empty cupboards with just a few boxes and cans – “Writing your name on every single box doesn’t make it yours, Ash!” – goddammit, no, the sleeping bag rolled across the ground and the paperback next to her – the one thing she’d stolen, the book she thought they wouldn’t miss, because she needed something to tell her that it was real, that it had happened, werewolves and monsters and being part of a pack –

Janiya breathed out through her nose and raised her head to the ceiling.  She couldn’t stop the tears, no matter how badly her jaw clenched, and they ran down the side of her face, dripping into the curve of her ears. She took a deep, shuddering breath and squeezed her eyes tight.

She had to stop thinking about them.  She wasn’t pack.  They weren’t coming.  She’d been kidnapped.  She needed to focus on that, focus on getting out of here because no one was coming to rescue her.  She needed a plan and she couldn’t get weepy every time she thought of the pack, for fuck’s sake, how pathetic was she.

The book was Gavin’s. The one she’d stolen.  It had ‘Happy birthday, alpha!!’ written on the front inside cover, followed by signatures and little messages from every member of the pack.  Janiya’s name was squeezed into a corner.

He hadn’t read it. The book.  There had been no time.  And then the camaraderie of his birthday party was long-faded by sniping and argument and the book had still been untouched and Janiya had just.  Had just taken it.

Janiya inhaled sharply and exhaled slowly.  She wasn’t pack.  She had to get that through her head.  Those months of her life were over.  It was over and it wasn’t coming back.  She had dreams once, hadn’t she?  Plans for the future?  Something to do with herself so that when she ran into them again, years down the line, she could look down her nose and sneer instead of them stumbling upon her crying and shivering in a basement –

The woman was back. She was smiling.  Janiya glared, because it was the only thing she could do.

“Your pack came for you, after all,” the woman said, sickly sweet and Janiya felt her blood run cold.

Something shifted in the woman’s expression, a vicious satisfaction that told Janiya that the woman had probably misconstrued her unease – Janiya wasn’t afraid of her pack.

She wasn’t.  Not of them.  Not of what they’d do to her.  They weren’t going to hurt her.

Well, not on purpose, and nothing she didn’t deserve anyway.

Janiya spared a moment of derision for the stupid girl who thought that joining a werewolf pack was the stuff of adventures and daydreams and followed the woman into a different room.

~#~

Janiya stared at the underside of the awning.  “I just want to collapse on my bed,” she said, “Is that really too much to ask?”

No one answered her, and the pang of not hearing the immediate comebacks had dulled over time. Janiya sighed, eyed the dark clouds and decided that she’d be standing here for the rest of the afternoon if she waited for the rain to stop.

Planning to underline ‘umbrella’ on her shopping list, she stepped out, wincing as she was soaked within a minute.  The subway was a couple of blocks away and she resigned herself to going back to her apartment dripping wet, like a bedraggled cat.

The comments on wet dog smell and muddy paw prints were no longer on the tip of her tongue, but she could still remember that summer day when the lightning was flashing and the air was full of warm rain and shrieks and giggles as all of them had gotten thoroughly soaked, chasing each other in the front yard.

It still hurt.  Even now. Even months after she’d left.

Janiya tried to convince herself that the rain was making her gloomy and she’d feel better once she had a shower and a hot meal, but it didn’t quite stick.  There was an ache under her heart that never went away – a hollow that had once been filled with pack.

But that had been torn out and nothing would fill it ever again.

Janiya tried to tell herself that she didn’t like those losers anyway, but even her mental pep talk was unenthusiastic.  Janiya continued walking, glaring at the asshole approaching her with a black umbrella – he had clearly been prepared for this weather, he had gotten the essentials, he hadn’t absently filled his shopping cart with Rita’s favorite chips or Ash’s chocolate or five different flavors of ice cream before panicking and heading for checkout with only a bag of fruit and boxed pasta.

She shivered, something cold slithering down her spine, and picked up her pace.

She realized that the man with the umbrella was staring directly at her at about the time she heard the heavy, determined footsteps behind her.  Janiya’s well-honed senses shrieked danger but she only had enough time to feel a deep sense of dread before there was an arm tightening across her chest and a cloth pressed over her face.

She tried not to breathe but the cloth pressed deeper – it smelled sweet and cloying and, underneath that, a bitter scent that made her go cold.

She thought she heard a car screeching to a stop nearby, but there were raindrops in her eyes and everything was gray and she was beginning to feel…a little…dizzy…

~#~

She came back to consciousness with what felt like the worst hangover ever, a turn of events that wasn’t helped by the zipties pinning her wrists behind her back.  She was soaked wet and shivering and she’d lost her purse somewhere and her shoulders ached as she did her best to push up into sitting position.

Her head was pounding, her mouth was dry, she was cold and achy and the wet clothes were beginning to chafe and the irritation was enough to drown out the fear as someone stepped out of the shadows of the room.

“Giving you four stars on ambience, but one star on service,” Janiya said hoarsely.

It looked like a typical basement – no windows, naked bulb in the ceiling, rough, unfinished stone for the floor – except for the fact that there was only darkness beyond the dim halo of light, no walls or furniture visible in the shadows, and that was a lot of real estate for a simple kidnapping.

She was still holding out hope that this was a simple kidnapping, fully aware of how pathetic her life had become if these were her choices.

“You won’t have to worry about our service for long,” her captor said simply, “Your pack has already been contacted.  It’s nothing personal, but your pack has been…unreceptive to our advances in the past, so we had to resort to more heavy-handed measures.”

Of course it wasn’t a simple kidnapping.  Janiya exhaled, and let the hope die – the hope that should’ve died the moment she smelled wolfsbane on that cloth.

“You guys are a bunch of idiots,” Janiya drawled, “Did you bother to do any research before you snatched me off the streets?  I’m not a part of the pack anymore.  They won’t come for me.  No one will come for me.”  Janiya bit her lip, hard.  She hadn’t meant to say that last part.

“Pack is pack,” the guy said, shrugging.

Janiya scowled, a familiar swell of annoyance at the condescending ‘oh, what does the human know about pack’ and snapped back, “Yeah, and I’m not pack.”  The guy didn’t look like he cared, and the annoyance went razor-sharp. 

“Oh, well,” Janiya shrugged, easing back into as comfortable a position she could manage with her wrists twisted behind her, “Guess you’re going to get a clue eventually.”

The guy shot her a glance, but didn’t respond, hovering at the edge of the light.  Making sure she didn’t escape, she guessed, just in case they’d gotten it wrong and she wasn’t entirely human after all. 

She waited, counting down from one hundred in her head before she spoke again.  “What about, you know, food and everything?” she asked.  The guy almost startled.  “You do know I’m a human, right?  Passed the Care and Feeding of Non-Supernatural Beings? We’re super fragile.”

The guy growled and Janiya hid her smirk.  “You won’t be here long enough to need anything.”

“Really?  Because I’m freezing over here.  Do you want me to get frostbite?”

“You’re not going to get frostbite,” the guy rolled his eyes and turned away from her.

“Oh, wow,” Janiya sneered, “I knew I should’ve picked the Ritz.  What happened to the customer is always right?”

She could practically see his temper fraying.  “I don’t goddamn care,” he said, stalking towards her and Janiya hid her flinch with a shiver, “Either you shut up or –”

“You’ll make me?” Janiya finished sweetly.

The guy looked like he was considering ripping her head off – his fists were clenched and she could spot the hint of fangs – and she grinned back at him, giving him her best smirk, the one that had once incited Ash to a screaming rage in less than five seconds.

“What is going on?” another voice rang out in the darkness and the man eased back.  Janiya straightened to watch the woman enter the light, her eyes narrowed and her lips pursed.

“Oh, lovely, I wanted to speak to the manager,” Janiya said, “This place is freezing.  The zipties are too tight.  Oh, and you have the wrong person.”

“No, we don’t,” the woman said.

“I’m not in a pack,” Janiya smiled tightly.  Not anymore.  “So, really, can we get this over with?  Because it’s honestly a little embarrassing that I got kidnapped by a bunch of second-rate thugs.”

“She has a mouth on her,” the man muttered sullenly.

“I can see that,” the woman said.

“Can we shut her up?”

Janiya laughed at that. “Good luck trying,” she said.

The woman considered her for a long moment.  “We said alive,” she said, “We didn’t say unharmed.”

Something curdled in Janiya’s stomach.

She kept up the smile, the irritation, the anger, because werewolves could smell fear, because she wouldn’t give them the goddamn courtesy of knowing that their words had hit.

“Torture?” she sighed, “How original.  Like no one’s tried that before.”

“You think we’re going to spend time torturing you?” the woman laughed, “Just to keep that mouth shut?  Oh no.”  She nodded at the man, who vanished back into the darkness.

“Duct tape is going to ruin my pores,” Janiya said solemnly.

“Don’t worry,” the woman said, a patronizing smile on her face, “Your pores will be fine.”

The man returned with an odd contraption in his hand – buckles and belts and metal and –

Light glinted off metal at the right angle and the pieces slotted together into the whole.

“Meant for werewolves,” the woman smiled, watching her, “But it’ll do to shut your mouth.”

“I get accessories now?” Janiya blinked, suppressing the shriek as her voice threatened to go too high, “How kind of you.”

The woman’s smile merely grew, tracking all the tells that Janiya couldn’t hope to hide from werewolf senses.

She jerked away from the man, curling up to hide her face, but someone stepped on her bound wrists, sending her arching back, and werewolf-strong hands gripped her face. She could feel her jaw creak.

They fit the muzzle over her head – it was blocky and dense, fitting over her nose and brushing the top of her cheekbones and the line of her jaw.  There were slits to let her keep breathing, thankfully, and she glared as they began to tighten the buckles.

The muzzle had protruding parts and it pinched at her skin as they yanked the belt tight against the back of her head.  She hissed – or tried to, her lips were smashed against her teeth and the metal dampened her mumbles.

“You’ll want it tight,” the woman said, correctly reading the expression in her eyes, “Or your face will come off.”

Janiya frowned in confusion – but they finished adjusting the buckles and the woman stepped forward to…to press something on the mask and –

Janiya’s muscles clenched in sudden tension as a high-pitched whine built at the back of her throat – she couldn’t scream, she couldn’t even be heard because the damn thing had latched onto her face and the sudden stabbing pain had nearly brought tears to her eyes.

“What’s that?” the woman asked, stepping closer with wide eyes, “I couldn’t hear you.”

Janiya tried to convey her sincere wishes for the woman to go jump off a bridge into a shark pit with her narrowed eyes alone.

Judging by the woman’s laughter, it wasn’t as effective as she could hope.

“Come on,” she motioned to the other guards, “She won’t be causing problems anymore.”

Janiya slumped back as the footsteps receded, and tried to breathe through the shooting pains.

~#~

“Shit,” he cursed, low and heartfelt, before scooping her up and jogging to the car.  “Ash, if I hear a single word about the cleaning bill I will ensure you never have to worry about the car again, are we clear?” he snarled, pausing long enough to shove Janiya into Ivy’s waiting arms as he scrambled inside.

“What’s wrong with her?” Ash asked as he peeled away from the curb, driving on the edge of too-fast. Gavin didn’t bother to tell him to slow down – Janiya was sucking in high, fluttery breaths, her eyes half-open but unresponsive to Ivy’s questions.

“She got hit by the giant scorpion.”

“What?”  Their speed increased.

“She said it’s not lethal to humans, but –”

“She’s burning up, Gavin, I’m not sure –”

“Call Rita, tell them to get an ice bath ready,” Ash suggested.  Gavin scrambled for his phone.

Ash brought the car to a squealing halt in the driveway and Gavin jumped out almost before it had stopped moving – Ivy was right, Janiya was burning up, hot even to a werewolf’s touch, and he ran past Rita’s wide eyes and Kai’s questions.

The ice water bath helped. For a given definition of help.

Darin had slipped out a minute in, frowning, to go check Janiya’s notes.  When he’d returned, skin tight around his eyes, Janiya had already gone freezing cold.

“I thought the problem was overheating!” Ash said as Rita and Ivy tried to get Janiya out of the cold, wet clothes.

“The problem is thermoregulation.  We need to get her body temperature back up, and fast.”

“I’ll start a fire,” Kai volunteered.

Darin shook his head, “Not fast enough.”

“We’ll get her warmed up,” Gavin said, “Ash –” He nodded and slipped out to follow Kai.

By the time Rita and Ivy had gotten Janiya changed to a thin shift, Ash had laid out a sleeping bag and bedding in front of the fireplace – the room was quickly reaching sweltering in the summer heat.

Janiya was shivering, her lips blue as Rita laid her down on the sleeping bag.  “She’s very cold,” Rita said. 

“I know.”  Gavin shed his shirt and crawled under the covers with Janiya.  Ivy lost the jean shorts and ducked in on the other side.

Touching her felt like Gavin had stuck his hand in the freezer, but he gritted his teeth and pulled Janiya closer, until she was tucked under his chin, his leg on top of hers and his arm around her waist.  Ivy pressed tightly on the other side, fitting in close and laying a hand on Janiya’s cold cheek.

“The wound,” Gavin said, careful not to touch it.  It wasn’t bleeding, but it was swollen and red.

“I’ll get some cream,” Darin murmured.  Gavin shivered – it felt like he was hugging a block of ice.

“How did she even get stung?” Rita asked, slumping on the couch and watching them with half-wild eyes.

Ash abruptly stood up and left.

“She was supposed to stay behind us,” Ivy grumbled, irritation fueled by worry.  Gavin enveloped Janiya’s hand in his and rubbed her fingers until they felt a little warmer. 

“I think she tripped or something,” Gavin explained.  Darin returned with the cream and nudged the blanket aside just enough to slather it on the wound high on Janiya’s right arm.  “Fell right on top of Ash, and startled the scorpion.”

Janiya shuddered in his arms, moaning weakly.

“It’s okay,” Gavin murmured, rubbing her arm, “It’s okay.”

It wasn’t okay.

Gavin was supposed to protect his pack.

It was his fault that Janiya was anywhere near the scorpions, his fault that she’d been stung, his fault that she hadn’t even mentioned it until they’d gotten back to the car.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, but Janiya was still cold and shivering in his arms.

~#~

The good news was that Janiya warmed up fast.

The bad news was…Janiya warmed up fast.

She wasn’t awake, not yet, but her fever had spiked back to what it had been in the start and she started squirming in Gavin’s arms, trying to pull away.  He tried to restrain her as gently as he could, but he could do nothing about her screams.

She cried out, begging them to stop, begging for help, crying out in pain, and there was absolutely nothing he could do.

Ivy scrambled away when she could no longer take it, and Rita took her place with a grim expression. Gavin stayed, because he was the alpha and it was his responsibility even if Janiya’s pleas broke his heart and then crushed the pieces.

“I half expect her to sneer at us and ask why there isn’t more wood on the fire,” Rita said quietly, in a lull.  Janiya was still, sweat beading down her forehead.  Every so often, she would shiver.

Gavin gave Rita a sharp look, but she was staring at Janiya, nose-to-nose.

“That’s unfair,” he said finally, hoarse and exhausted.  Kai and the others had left to track down the last scorpion, and Ivy had gone for a nap. Ash hadn’t returned from wherever he’d disappeared too.  Darin was puttering around in the kitchen.

“Is it?” Rita asked quietly.

He felt a sudden spike of irritation.  “Then why are you here?” he hissed, “Why bother to help at all?  If you think she’s such an awful person, why do you even care if she dies?”

Rita’s eyebrows raised. “I never said awful people deserved to die.”

Gavin was too tired to control the surge of fury, and he was sick of reining it in.  “She is a member of this pack, Rita, and I don’t recall asking for your permission.  I am your alpha and you will listen to me!”

Rita’s eyes flashed and she ducked her head, burying her face under Janiya’s with a soft whimper. Gavin’s arm tightened around Janiya and he had to consciously fight to loosen them.

Janiya shifted slightly as Rita hid her face and Gavin let out a breath, slumping against the pillow.

He was tired.  That was all it was, he was tired and he was taking his irritation out on his pack.  He had to apologize and explain himself and everything would be fine.

That was all he had to do.

That was it.

Gavin didn’t apologize.

Rita stayed curled under Janiya, her face hidden, until Ivy came to switch places.

~#~

“Too hot,” Janiya said, shifting weakly, the first coherent thing she’d said after collapsing at the side of the road.  Darin returned quickly with a glass of warm water, and Gavin supported her carefully, tilting her head up as she drank.

She continued sucking at the straw even after the glass was empty, and Darin had to carefully pry it from her mouth.  “Please,” she said, twisting, searching blindly for the water, “Please.”

Darin hurried to get her another glass.  She drank five sips before going slack, the straw dropping from her mouth.  Gavin gently tucked her back between him and Ivy. It had been almost a day since the attack.

“How much longer?” Gavin asked quietly.

“I don’t have an answer,” Darin said, shaking his head, “I’ve never seen this venom before.”

“And when will you have an answer?” Gavin asked, his voice sharp with worry and guilt and irritation, all amplified by lack of sleep and sweltering heat of the room.

Ash, slinking back in the room, flinched.  Darin, however, met his gaze steadily.  “I don’t know, alpha,” he said calmly, “It depends if Janiya can keep water down.  If she can keep solid food down. If she is awake, coherent, lucid. If she can maintain her temperature. It will take time.  It’s not an easy fix.” 

Gavin dropped his head. “I’m sorry,” he said, “I didn’t mean to snap.”

Darin hummed in the silence. The only sound was the crackling of flames, and Gavin felt his eyelids grow heavier.  If he could sleep amidst the prickle of sweat beading in the hollows and the way skin stuck to skin, with Janiya’s soft whimpers in his ears, with the worry –

“It’s my fault,” Ash said hoarsely.

Gavin startled to alertness, twisting until he could see Ash better.  He was slumped on the couch, staring blankly into empty space.

“What?”

“It’s my fault,” Ash repeated, hollow.

“Ash, no – Janiya tripped – yes, sure, we should’ve insisted she stay in the car, but she’s an adult, she didn’t –”

“She didn’t trip,” Ash interrupted, shaking his head.

Gavin raised his eyebrows and turned to Ivy.  Both of them turned back to Ash.

“Ash –”

“No, you don’t understand,” Ash exhaled harshly, “She didn’t – she didn’t stumble onto me or fall on me or something like it.  She – she pushed me.  It was almost a tackle.”

“Ash, I don’t think –”

“She’s a human,” Ash raised his head, and his eyes were glittering, “Do you really think I would’ve hit the floor if she’d just tripped?”

“Ash,” Ivy said quietly, “What are you saying?  That Janiya attacked you?”

Ash shook his head. “She knew that the venom would be fatal to a werewolf,” he said instead, his voice low and pained.

Gavin blinked at him, uncomprehending, while Ivy sucked in a sharp breath.  He turned to her, slow, until Ash’s words clicked into place.

“I don’t – Ash –” Ivy was stumbling over her words.  “Ash – I mean, Janiya?”  Her tone was half-incredulous, half-horrified.

“She’s pack,” Gavin said, but his voice sounded like it was coming from far away.  She was pack, but she’d made little attempt to fit in and Gavin had just sort of assumed that she liked the protection of a werewolf pack but didn’t actually want to be part of one.

“It’s my fault,” Ash repeated, miserable, staring at Janiya.

~#~