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ᜊ͏ janece ﹙ o'daisy ﹚ lockscreens
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Happy birthday to my lil sister!!!! She turns 18 tomorrow (May 8) but her boyfriend and her best friend threw her a scavenger hunt!!
I can't trust you anymore. You say one thing and you break it. You wonder why I can't trust you? Seriously? Are you fucking kidding me? You lie. Thats why. And yet again, you break a promise and don't tell me about it. I just happened to find out earlier. You never tell me shit. Fucking ever. You play the fucking victim. I am the victim. You lie. You break promises. You ignore me. I am done being hurt by my FIANCEE. I'm done being hurt period.
I didn't mean to give this much of myself this quick. I can't hold back from her though... When it comes to her, it's all or nothing. I'm afraid that I'm giving all of myself to get hurt again and that maybe she isn't going to give me all of herself. That she can't. Maybe I just think too much. I know that I love her but I wanted so badly to hold back for awhile. Make her want me. But I give in too easily.
Diary of a bipolar chick (off meds!)
So it's been a few weeks without my meds and I'm feeling better. At first it was hard- ask my girlfriend- but now it seems to be getting better. I'm not as up and down. I just need to remember to relax sometimes I think. AP testing is here. Which means the end of the year is coming quickly with so much left to do. People to spend time with, homework to do, registration to finish for classes next year. It all seems so complicated and almost too much sometimes but I did it. I got into a college. I'm going somewhere in life. I'm an adult now. I don't think I would have gotten this far without my girl. Even with the bad, the good has got me through so much and I wouldn't be standing without her by my side and I hope I never have to stand without her. Twenty so more days and its my last summer in this house. I'm going to make the best of it.
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Growing Up-just talking, ignore this.
Sooooo I just got my own checking account. It's not that big of a thing but I guess it is to me. I don't know. It makes me feel more grown up. Having to make a decision about college is coming up on me quickly and I'm not ready. My choir just had our last choir festival today at UNR and I want to cry but at the same time I can't. I've had so many good years at Sparks, sung so many songs, failed epically and done really well. I shouldn't cry because its over now. I'll miss those girls though. They've become a part of me and now i'll be without that.
Yesterday I gave a speech. I stood there. Legs shaking. Voice wavering. Hands sweating. But I did it. It wasn't great but it was good. And sitting in the audience watching me was my girlfriend. There is something about the total support she is willing to give to me and wants to give to me that makes me cry. It's what I've spent my life searching for. My family is in and out, there when they can be, but she is the first one that really wants to be there to see me shine and pick me up if needed. I sat down after I spoke and she immediately told me I did amazing. After, we came back to my house for a little while and she held me and she kissed my head and we talked. We fight and shit, but its those tiny amazing moments that make up for it. People always ask me why I put up with some of the stuff she's done, and its because of that. Because she supports me, because she kisses my head, because she holds me, because deep down she loves me. The good outweighs the bad and that's just a fact. When the bad outweighs the good, that's when relationships need to be questioned. Right now we are good. I'm beginning to trust her again.
I don't have any clue what we are going to do in college. I don't really know what she wants to do about us when we separate for school, but i'm not worried about it. However it turns out, whether we stay together and make it work or she wants to just split up, I'm going to be okay. I hope we stay together but I'm making the most of the few months I have with her. If this is all I get, than I'll have it with me forever. Regardless of what happens, I'll always love her and these memories, good and bad, will stay with me for the rest of my life. It's part of growing up. Loving, losing, and loving again. I've come to accept that. I guess I really am growing up.
The past couple days have been extremely hectic and crazy and exciting and new and terrifying and exhilarating. I can't get over how much fun it is as things come to an end.
I love her so much ^.^ I just... Ahhh. I hope I never lose her again
So my girlfriend is gonna be the death of me. She is just perfect. She can make me smile no matter what but we can be serious. She knows when to just lay with me or when to tease the fuck out of me. She knows how to hold me and calm me down. She just makes me happy. I love her so much. Prom was perfect on Saturday too. Ya know that moment where you look into someone's eyes and everything else seems to disappear? Well that can happen in real life and it happened to me. It was perfect. I could stare into those eyes no matter what. The thing is, no matter what's happened and what has yet to happen, we love each other and we can do anything together. She really is everything to me. I love you babydoll <3
