#jaime rambles

Out of town family guests

A lot of cleaning and furniture building before said guests

A big holiday dinner

A new kitten!

... and getting married? Yeah, that happened too.

The last is mostly a legal formality. We've had a joint mortgage for several years, that's honestly a bigger commitment, lol. But it's weird to think of myself as legally married, all the same.

The goal for 2026 is to ask myself the following questions on a consistent, regular basis.

How do I feel?

What could I do right now to make myself feel better?

What am I doing that makes me feel good?

What can I do right now to make sure I feel better in the near future?

I have a Very Large Numbered birthday coming up this year, and I've been in a multi-year midlife crisis leading up to it. So I want to keep the goals simple, in the hopes of entering yet another decade feeling a little less of my own mortality, and more possibility for the future.

You're not morally superior because you're nihilistic. There's no up side to "everything is fucked and I know it" responses to people who are processing their own feelings about a thing.

Maybe you're right 95% of the time, but 95 is not 100.

You might be right, but also lacking a bit of nuance that that person is going to impart in the rest of their sentence.

That person could be processing the problem as they talk and the rest of the sentence is helpful for them, even if it's not for you.

But most importantly, above all those things: INTERRUPTING IS RUDE AND YOU SHOULD TRY NOT TO DO IT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.

Again, I say this as someone who has this problem and still hasn't entirely solved it even at my relatively advanced age. I'm still rude a LOT. I wish I wasn't, I actively try not to be, but it still happens. And I know there are going to be people who want to argue "but what if X situation is happening and I need to be quick?" And you know perfectly well that I'm not talking about "someone's health is on the line" types of situations. I'm talking about you feeling impatient because you think you know the whole conversation and want to skip it like video game dialogue. Letting a person finish their whole thought is basic relationship maintenance. It's a signal that you care about their thoughts and feelings. The point is not that you understand early, the point is learning the ability to listen all the way through so you can confirm your ideas and make the other person feel fully heard.