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Where the fics are filthy, kinky, freaky, and full of deliciously twisted smut. Featuring my favorite kpop idols as iconic horror characters and tropes. Brace yourself for 31 Days of Darkness this October, overflowing with all the spooky kinks you crave – written by your favorite halloween slut.
𝖉𝖆𝖗𝖊 𝖙𝖔 𝖎𝖓𝖉𝖚𝖑𝖌𝖊 - Sign up for my freaktober taglist to get notified when these fics are posted! You can choose specific ones, or all of them!
Because these fics will likely contain dark content and triggering themes, I won’t be tagging those already on my main taglist. Please be sure to read the disclaimers listed at the end of this post for more details regarding potential warnings. If you’d like be tagged in these fics, please sign up for the freaktober taglist separately, via the link above.
If you’re not on my main taglist yet and would also like to be notified for my other works outside of freaktober, you can fill out this form too!
𝖌𝖎𝖛𝖊 𝖎𝖓 𝖙𝖔 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖋𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖐𝖎𝖊𝖘𝖙 𝖋𝖆𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖘𝖎𝖊𝖘…
Schedule: Oct 1 - 31
DAY 1 - 𝖌𝖍𝖔𝖘𝖙𝖋𝖆𝖈𝖊
↳ mingi (atz) + masks
DAY 2 - 𝖌𝖗𝖎𝖒 𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖕𝖊𝖗
↳ mingyu (svt) + fuck or die
DAY 3 - 𝖘𝖈𝖎𝖘𝖘𝖔𝖗𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖘
↳ jungkook (bts) + knife play
DAY 4 - 𝖇𝖊𝖊𝖙𝖑𝖊𝖏𝖚𝖎𝖈𝖊
↳ bang chan (skz) + name kink
DAY 5 - 𝖎𝖓𝖈𝖚𝖇𝖚𝖘
↳ hongjoong (atz) + somnophilia
DAY 6 - 𝖒𝖔𝖓𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖍𝖚𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖗
↳ yugyeom (got7) + gun play
DAY 30 - 𝖙𝖗𝖎𝖈𝖐𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖉𝖊𝖒𝖔𝖓
↳ san (atz) + humiliation kink
DAY 31 - 𝖇𝖎𝖌𝖋𝖔𝖔𝖙
↳ hoseok (bts) + monster fucking
ⓘ 𝖆𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗 𝖓𝖔𝖙𝖊
Happy (almost) Freaktober! Posting this a month early on purpose so I have extra time to prepare and get a head start on these. I've also been dying to share this ever since I finalized the schedule mid-July LOL. This is my take on the popular Kinktober event many writers do, where they take requests & post fics daily for the entire month. As you can tell, I’ve had my own ideas from the start that I’m really excited to bring to life so taking requests wasn't something I was interested in doing, and I wanted extra time in advance to write. So, my Freaktober Challenge is simply posting for 31 days straight and diving into darker content that I haven't really posted much of before! I’m hyped and hope you are all as equally excited as I am. Let’s get our freak on! – Raven
ⓘ 𝖉𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖒𝖊𝖗𝖘
These fics may contain dark content and heavy themes like dubious consent and/or consensual non consent; sexual + emotional manipulation; obsession; stepcest + taboo family dynamics; sacrilegious behavior; objectification + dehumanization; sex with supernatural beings; beastiality/zoophilia; drugging; intentionally impairing judgment for sexual gains; power dynamics; glamorized fetishes/kinks; unsafe kink practices; unsafe use of weaponry; stranger danger; cult behavior; murder + other death themes; violence; stalking; blood + gore; plus other horror-related elements or kinks that may trigger some readers. Please read at your own risk!
These works are fictional and written for adults who enjoy exploring horror-inspired kinks in a safe and imaginative space. They do not reflect the IRL behavior of these kpop idols, and I do not condone non-consensual advances, harmful behavior, or sexual violence in real life. These works are created for entertainment only. Always practice safe, sane, and consensual sex.
Reset [M]
Pairing: Jinyoung (Got7) x Fem!Reader
Tags: 2.7k, exes to lovers, comfort/fluff, humor, smut 21+
Summary: Life works in mysterious ways - like when it puts two divorcees together and turns up the heat. It doesn’t help that he’s handsome, charming, and still in love with you.
Warnings: Explicit Sexual Content 21+ MINORS DNI. mxf, no protection (don’t make me tell ya’ll again), no foreplay - he’s just hot, ex-spouses rekindling, mild language, and a glass of wine. It's more banter and fluff than smut tbh.
When you got home, his car was parked in the driveway, so when you walked in the front door, you were not surprised in the least to see your ex-husband waiting for you. To be honest, you had a feeling he’d be here anyway.
“Jinyoung,” you hum patiently, hanging your purse next to his keys and kicking off your heels next to his shoes at the door, “Just because you still have a key, doesn’t mean you can show up any time you like.”
Jinyoung only smirks from his proprietary position on your couch. He’s plenty relaxed, his fitted grey pants stretched taut over his thighs comfortably spread apart, taking up more space than necessary. The crisp white shirt he’s wearing is unbuttoned, sleeves rolled to his elbows. No watch, phone, shoes, socks, or keys, and his typically perfect hair is tousled and relaxed.
He doesn’t plan on leaving any time soon.
“How was your day at work, sweetheart? Kids all settled in at your mom's?”
His playful response thins your patience, just slightly. “They’re teenage boys with dirtbikes and twenty acres of land. You know they don’t need to settle in anymore. They practically live outside all weekend except when mom calls them in to eat. They’re fine,” you ignore his first question and continue moving past him, straight toward the kitchen.
Jinyoung laughs and you can hear him getting up to follow you. You’re bent over, looking in the refrigerator drawers to pull something out for dinner when his hands slide over your hips, pulling you back up and away from your task. You kick the fridge shut with your foot and he kisses your temple. “I already ordered delivery,” he hums against your shoulder now, hands trailing up and around your waist, keeping you anchored to his body, “How about a glass of wine?”
You want to say no but it’s been a long day, it’s the weekend, and you’ll want one if you have to endure this for the rest of the night.
“Make it red,” you sigh in defeat, rolling your eyes when he kisses your neck.
As he pulls away, you catch yourself watching his every move. It’s been three months of this.
You were together for fifteen years, married twelve, brought two beautiful boys into the world, and divorced just over a year ago. It was a mutual choice, one you hated to make, but it was what felt necessary at the time. Jinyoung was still the same incredibly attentive father keeping the boys every weekend, showing up for every school award and sporting event, and you even agreed to still have holidays together as a family. You co-parented like champs.
And then he invited you over one night for dinner, just to catch up, about three months ago. It wasn’t even the first time you had done it. There were several occasions since your separation when you shared a meal with and without the kids. This one just happened to be…different.
Dinner was fine, pleasant even, and then he fucked you against every single surface in his condo like he was making up for time lost over the last year in one evening. Worse than that, you spent the night and did it all over again the next day.
Presently, Jinyoung hands you a glass and pours another for himself. You swirl the contents idly until he corks the bottle and lifts his glass to yours. “To our good fortune and health, our wildly handsome sons who are probably not going to shower for the next three days,” your pursed lips break into a small smile, amusement glittering in your eyes, “And to us, for everything we’ve accomplished, and for all that’s yet to come.”
His smile is a dazzling reminder of how you fell for him in the first place. You raise your glass and take a hardy sip letting the flavor splash over your palette. “How long until the food gets here?”
Jinyoung glances at the clock overhead and grins. “Twenty minutes.”
Your eyes slip down to his chest and that’s all it takes for Jinyoung to have you pinned against the counter with your panties pushed aside and one of your legs up around his waist. You cling to his shoulders, crying out his name as he fucks you recklessly right there in your own kitchen.
Because he can.
Because you want him to.
He pumps into you faster and you try to brace yourself on the cool granite, accidentally knocking into one of the wine glasses. Neither of you even stops to look as the glass tips over and shatters, red wine bleeding out until it’s spilling onto the floor. You’re too close and he refuses to look at anything other than your face, lids half closed, lips parted in praise.
“We’re running out of time,” he murmurs, still smirking as he says it because he knows you’ll finish before then. He reaches up, cradling your cheek in one hand which might seem sweet for a moment but then he pushes his thumb against the seam of your lips, parting his own as a silent order to open yours.
Despite how distracted you are, you understand easily what he’s doing and accept his instructions, opening up for him to push the tip of his thumb inside just long enough for you to wet it before he’s pulling it out and rolling it over your clit, lazily at first. He finds so much joy in dragging things out for as long as he possibly can, grinning the entire time. Then his phone buzzes in his pocket and he knows he’ll have to save the teasing for later.
He leans closer, kissing your neck as he speeds up both his hands and hips. Your head tips back into the cabinet behind you, panting into the open air above. The sweet sounds pouring from your lips spur him on and it is absolutely not in his plans to finish now, as masochistic as that feels at the moment, so he contains them, slipping his free hand behind your neck so he can kiss you hotly on the mouth, swallowing each sigh. It’s exactly what you needed too.
The doorbell chimes and you barely hear it, all background noise canceled out as your orgasm leaves you shaking, ears ringing, and chest heaving. He doesn’t move until you still, slumped back against the counter trying to catch your breath. Then, after he fixes his clothes, he slides your panties back in place, pulls your dress down, and kisses you again, much softer this time.
“Food is here,” he hums, smiling when you trail after his lips.
“Food can be reheated later,” you counter, catching him in another kiss.
Jinyoung laughs, the sound is beautiful and something you’ve missed so much. “Let me at least bring it inside and clean up the mess on the floor real quick.”
Oh, right. Broken wine glass. “I’ll clean that up.”
Jinyoung shakes his head. “Let me take care of it, please.”
Let me take care of you…
You hold onto him for a few seconds more and relent, “I’ll be in the bedroom. You remember where that is, don’t you?”
His brows pull together, “My favorite room in the house? Of course, I do.”
Jinyoung leaves you with an easy grin and you watch him go until he’s out of sight before trailing down the hall to your room. Bypassing the light switch, you opt to use the lamp on the bedside table instead and it fills the room with a low–light. You pull off your dress and bra, depositing them in the hamper, and decide to grab one of his shirts from its hidden place in the depths of your closet.
When he returns, food in hand as you predicted, he grins seeing that you read his mind.
“If we don’t eat it now, we never will,” you shrug, patting his side of the bed, “Come on.”
He hands over the bags to you and you begin pulling things out trying to not get distracted by him stripping off his clothes until he’s left in only his briefs and crawling into bed next to you. He helps set everything up and you grab the remote, flipping on the TV.
It’s so painfully reminiscent of your early years together. When you were wholly focused on your relationship with each other, not on your careers, your children, or your future.
After a while, Jinyoung lets out a small sigh. “When did we stop doing this?”
You smile wistfully. “It’s been a long time,” you poke at your food in the takeout container, “At some point we just…gave up.”
He understands what you truly mean.
Jinyoung stares at the side of your face, your eyes still trained on the contents you’re stirring around in thought. He has always loved you - he still does in this very moment. It was never about falling out of love, but because you both fell into roles. A husband, a wife. A father and a mother. You’d forgotten that beneath all of that, you were two people in love, and at some point, you stopped prioritizing your relationship.
“I love you,” he says suddenly and you look at him, wide-eyed, “I love you so much and I’m sorry I stopped saying it out loud.”
“Jiny-”
He sets his container down and turns to you, reaching out for your free hand. “I’m sorry that I stopped kissing you hello, and goodbye, and for no reason at all…that I stopped holding your hand in the car and across the table,” you set your food aside and take his other hand, squeezing it tightly, “I’m sorry that I didn’t even realize that I’d just…stopped trying.”
“I am just as much at fault,” you reach up, brushing your thumb under his eye, burning with fresh tears, “We were…young and so in love, and then we grew up and life got busy. We stopped prioritizing our needs in our relationship and we got burnt out.”
He nods, understanding exactly what you mean.
“I love you, Jinyoung, I have always loved you, and I’m sorry we had to go through all of this just to remember how to show it to one another.”
He cradles your face in his hands and pulls you closer to kiss you tenderly. It’s soft, sad, happy, sweet…it’s full of love. Your hands close around his wrists and he pulls back a touch, smiling at you softly. “I can’t say I am glad we did it, but it gave us this chance to remember who we are and what we want. I love you and I want to spend every day reminding you just how much I love you.”
“Are you asking me to go steady, Jinyoung?”
He rolls his eyes at your teasing and steals another kiss. “I’m asking you to be my wife…again.”
“I don’t think I can go through the stress of another wedding,” you sigh, pressing your foreheads together.
“You don’t want to hear me recite my vows to you all over again?”
He says it as he leans over you, arms coming around your body in a way that says he won’t be letting go any time soon. It's a glorious place to be and the thought of calling him your husband again, just your husband and not your ex, is as thrilling now as it was when he proposed.
“Well, maybe I could be persuaded…a little intimate garden wedding sounds kind of nice…”
He grins and buries his face in your neck, savoring the beautiful sound of the laughter that spills from your lips as he kisses your skin over and over. Then he picks his head up and bites his lip, “How do you think the boys will feel?”
You scoff. “I think the boys know more than they let on.”
He tilts his head in thought. “Now that you mention it, I usually get a reminder text, sometimes from both of them, every day leading up to a stay with your parents. Almost like they wanted to make sure I knew you’d be home alone that particular weekend….my darling sons….handsome and clever, like their father.”
“Mhm,” you purse your lips at the wistful look on his face, “Come to think of it, I remember your eldest looking a little too smug, like his father, when he asked ‘What happened to what’s his face?’ as if he already knew. You told him, didn’t you?”
Jinyoung scowls thinking about the guy you had just barely started seeing before the two of you started fooling around again. “That tall motherfucker,” he grunts, “I can’t believe you were going to replace me with that guy. What? Just because he can cook? So what…anybody can take a cooking class!”
You roll your eyes, quietly laughing at his ongoing rant.
He finally notices the amusement all over your face and abruptly asks, “What’s so funny?”
You shake your head, still grinning, “Kind of cute to know you still get jealous over me.”
Jinyoung scoffs, stutters, and then closes his mouth for a moment. “Ok, yeah…fair. I was extremely jealous. You could have chosen someone less attractive.”
“That would have made you less jealous?” you quirk your brow.
“No,” he immediately shakes his head. No hesitation.
Laughter erupts from your chest. You didn’t think so either. “ Listen, I wasn’t replacing you and that guy is a good person, so be nice. Your boys were feral around him but he had the patience of a saint. I’m still surprised he didn’t run away after picking me up for our first date. They must take after you…hellions.”
Jinyoung gives you the most deadpan expression. “My boys are angels.”
“Your boys are howling at the moon and swinging through trees right now.”
He laughs but agrees. “Have they checked in at all? I haven’t heard anything.”
“I have no idea, my phone is still in my purse,” you pinch his arm, grinning, “I walked in to find you spread out on the couch and got distracted. I had to pretend I wasn’t drooling just looking at you.”
“You don’t have to pretend that I am not the sexiest man you’ve ever laid eyes on,” he teases with a pretty smile, “I think it’s obvious if you’re willing to marry me twice.”
“Go get my phone so we can be responsible parents.”
He obliges but only after he kisses you so thoroughly it leaves you breathless in his wake. He winks, climbing out of the bed. “Have I told you that you’re the hottest mom, ever?”
You reach for the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head until you’re exposed to his hungry eyes. “How about you just move your ass so I can remind you exactly how hot I am.”
He has to drag himself away, quickly making his way into the living room, retrieving your phone from your purse at lightning speed, and then he jumps back into bed, passing it into your waiting hands. You unlock your phone and find a message waiting. You burst into laughter and hold it out for Jinyoung to read.
“Goodnight Mom (and Dad…we know you’re there. You share your phone location with us, remember?) Grandma says she knows too but told us to mind our business. I think she is really happy though because she gave us a high-five and extra dessert. Ok, LOVE YOU GUYS!!!”
Jinyoung laughs, scratching the back of his head. “Yeah…I forgot about the location thing,” he admits, climbing back under the covers next to you, “I guess this means we can stop sneaking around.”
“I think I might miss the privacy in your condo,” you grin, playfully squeezing his chest, “We can’t be nearly as loud here.”
Jinyoung smirked, “Let’s sell both our places and buy a new one with the master bedroom on the opposite side of the house.”
“And a pool so the boys stay busy outside.”
Jinyoung kisses your forehead. “I love the way you think.”
“Thank you,” you say sweetly, rolling on top of your husband, “But I want you to make sure I can’t think straight for the next forty-eight hours.”
Jinyoung grins, flipping over to pin your body beneath his. “Happy wife,” he pauses to steal another searing kiss, “Happy life.”
warnings: idol GOT7!au, married couple, pure softness, crying
Words: 1,1k
______
short soft one-shot inspired by GOT7's concerts this weekend and them being so emotional and crying and saying a lot of things that tore my heart apart. Jaebeom will always hold a very special place in my heart and I was excited to write this! I haven't written for got7 in years, so let me know, if you're interested in more
alsooo, I've never posted anything this short, so let me know if you enjoy stuff like this and I should be doing more of it!
_____
You stood in the corner of the waiting room, your eyes trained on the only man that actually mattered in your life and as the teardrops streamed down his pretty face your heart squeezed in an attempt to pump blood into your head and steady out its beats. Your heart ached, but you held back from crying in this moment with him - if he’d see your tears you knew it’d be an undying contest of emotional breakdown and you didn’t want him to go through that. You loved him too much. He only ever deserved love, happiness and much easier life than he was living now.
Jackson patted Jaebeom’s head and the staffs that filled the room tried to continue with their duties, but also be mindful of 7 crying and sobbing men in the centre of that room. Your gaze shifted to sobbing Mark and the way teared up Youngjae and Bam tried to calm him down. At least this view wasn’t tearing your heart into pieces. As a figure approached you, though, you had to readjust your eyes and focus on the man in front of you. The very next moment Jinyoung’s very warm hand grabbed yours and pulled you behind him. He felt your resistance and turned around, reading your face expression perfectly.
"I think he really needs you to calm him down." Jinyoung pulled onto your arm once again and you followed. "Hey, Seunah" Jinyoung called out in an attempt to whisper, but making it more of a low growl. Jackson, raising his head and seeing Jinyoung pulling on to you took a step back. Giving you space to come closer and giving you two space for privacy. Jaebeom raised his head a little, as he felt the loss of contact and took a few blinks to focus his teary eyes on you. Both Jackson and Jinyoung respectfully took a few more steps back and as you approached Jaebeom a little more, you couldn’t hold back a pout. Jaebeom straightened his back properly and it seemed the tears streamed down his face at a much lower pace. You pursed your lips and took a little step closer, not forgetting precaution and turning around to read the room - everyone seemed busy with themselves and their duties. But in all honesty - you couldn’t just stand and watch him any longer, even if the people watched you two attentively - your heart ached the moment you saw that first tear fall down his face back on stage.
“You did so well-.“ You still whispered, everyone acted busy, but peoples’ ears were always perked up. Jaebeom blinked more tears down his face. Shit, you only made it worse for him. “Everything went so perfectly. You worked so hard. I’m so proud. These should be happy tears, everything worked out amazing. Right?“ you tried to give Jaebeom a smile, your words only made the tears fall down harder, while Park Jinyoung expected you to do the opposite. “Ah-, love, don’t cry.“ You finally sighed and reached a hand to his face, cupping his cheek and making a lame attempt at catching the teardrops - it did seem impossible. The waterfall that streamed down his face was impossible to stop with a finger. Jaebeom leaned in into your touch and closed his eyes. You tried to caress the softness of his cheek, while not making it too inappropriate for a working environment. “Everyone’s so proud and everyone are so thankful for the things you do. You’ve put so much hard work into this, it’s okay to cry. I can’t even hold back my tears for you and ah-.“ Jaebeom suddenly draped his arms over your shoulders and lost his face in the crook of your neck. You patted his nape in a very weak attempt to calm him down. He seemed crashed, drained and exhausted. You really wished you could lift him up just like that and transfer to bed and let him get as much sleep as he needed - doesn’t matter if its 12 hours or a week. You watched him work so hard all these weeks to make the concerts possible, you watched him all those years make all those things possible while also being a sweet and loving husband to you. “I just hope it’s tears of relief. As long as they’re not tears of pain - it doesn’t matter. We could cry all night long, right?“ You tried to give him a little kiss, forgetting all the work space boundaries in your head, landing your lips on his jaw. You patted his nape a few more times, moving your arms lower - you gave his waist a squeeze and rubbed your face against his shoulder - the sobbing man in your arms seemed to calm down at least a little.
“I love you.“ you breathed out, somehow in unison with Jaebeom and as shocked as you were at the silly little coincidence, Jaebeom moved back a little and looked at you properly, with no tears falling out of his eyes, beautiful irises focusing on you.
“That’s silly of us.“ You giggled, moving your fingers to dry out the tears on Jaebeom’s cheeks.
“But I, definitely love you more.“ He even made a weak attempt to smile and made you feel more at ease yourself. The air suddenly felt lighter and the second time he tried to make that little smile - the smugness on his face, your chest burned with love. Jaebeom covered your palm with his and moved it closer to his mouth. “I wouldn’t be here without your support.“ You knew exactly what he meant by that, how hard it was for both him and you to get his mind to a better place. You weren’t about to shy away and act like you weren’t behind it all. In a great partnership with the man himself, of course.
“I know.“ You accepted with a playful nod and watched his lips give your palm a kiss with a smile. You were glad you could refer to dark times with a joke and a smile now. Jaebeom let go of your arm and tried to dry his face with the shirt he wore.
“Ah!“ Jinyoung materialised behind you, his firm palm on your shoulder making you jump in place. “Nothing like a wife’s touch that could calm a man down.“ He teased happily, wrinkles round his eyes as he smiled were the reason for a little upward motion on the corners of your lips.
“Sh! Shut up, there are strangers in this room.“ you hissed at the man, feigning annoyance. Jinyoung ruffled your hair with a teasing face expression.
“Hey, show some respect.“ you played back, your unending battle of teasing continuing every time you opened your mouths.
“Right, show some respect to my wife!“ Jaebeom chimed in, regret on his face immediate, as the both of you knew the comeback would be explosive. Jaebeom wrapped an arm around your waist, you not being sure whether he was backing you up or wanted you to back him up in this.
Jinyoung, though, already moved on - looking at the members and then at his leader and giving you nod.
yooo I was inspired to write a mini series - stay tuned for the next chapters xoxo
I. Nestfest II. A night of firsts III. Chasing the night IV. The almost kiss V. Breaking point VI. The first kiss VII. No turning back VIII. Hidden in the spotlight IX. Under the spotlight X. Love in the chaos XI. The world is watching XII. Yours XIII. The morning after XIV. Prove them wrong XV. Say my name VXI. Morning afterglow XVII. Love or career? XVIII. The consequences of loving you XIX. Rumination XX. The ultimatum XXI. The hardest goodbye XXII. Falling without you XXIII. Can't escape you XXIV. Losing you twice XXV. Fight for me Epilogue
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☆ Warnings: teasing, fingering, unprotected sex, rough sex, orgasm denial, masturbation, power play, just porn with a plot, tbh.
☆ Prompt: "A dangerous dance of lust, power, and delicious punishment. And yes, he fell...hard. The wicked part? He fucking loved it."
The air was heavy with something unspoken.
Something magnetic.
And I knew he felt it too.
The dull scratch of my pen across the paper ceased as it slipped from my fingers and hit the tiled floor with a muted clink. I felt his gaze before I even looked—searing, low, deliberate. Lifting my eyes, I glanced toward him through my lashes, and sure enough, Jinyoung was watching me from a desk close to mine. His dark eyes burned into mine with a quiet, unwavering hunger, a smirk ghosting over his lips as if he already knew what I was about to do.
I rose slowly, deliberately, circling to the far side of the desk with measured steps that made the hem of my skirt sway just slightly. With my back to him, I bent forward at the waist to retrieve the pen, arching more than necessary. My blouse lifted, the curve of my lower back peeking out. I stayed like that for a breath longer than needed—just enough to feel the air shift around us.
When I turned to look over my shoulder, Jinyoung was biting his bottom lip, jaw tight, eyes narrowed. That restraint on his face—raw and struggling—ignited something deep inside me. I loved this game. I loved watching his control fray at the edges, knowing I was the one tugging at every thread.
I sat back down in my seat, tracing the tip of the pen slowly along my lower lip before letting it rest between my teeth. I could almost hear the crack in his composure.
"Give up the charade," Jinyoung murmured, his voice smooth and low, intimate in a way that made the rest of the room fall away. The other students, the hum of conversation, the ticking clock... all dissolved under the weight of his presence behind me.
Warm breath grazed the side of my neck a moment later, close, so close I could smell the subtle citrus and cedar of his cologne. He wasn’t touching me. Not yet. Just waiting. Testing.
Jinyoung made his way to the door of the classroom as casually as if he were heading to the vending machine; his eyes locked with mine, commanding me to follow.
I waited just long enough not to be obvious, then stood and excused myself to the bathroom. My pulse pounded in my ears as I stepped out into the hallway, my fingers moving to unfasten the top buttons of my blouse, slowly, deliberately. I wanted him to see that I was in charge of this. All of it.
The corridor was quiet, bathed in the golden spill of late afternoon sun, looked almost sacred, like sunlight blessing sin. I walked slowly, listening... waiting for a sign. I passed the door of an empty classroom when a hand gripped my wrist, firm but not painful, pulling me inside and spinning me around. Jinyoung slammed my chest into the wall, his body aligned with mine, the heat of him pressing into my back as his lips brushed the shell of my ear.
"You drive me crazy, you know that?" he murmured, fingers curling around my wrists and pinning them lightly to the cool wall. "Always teasing. Always knowing exactly what you're doing."
His tone was sharp silk, accusatory and amused, heat curling around every word.
I tilted my head, exposing more of my throat to him. "And yet... you love it," I whispered back.
My heart pounded incessantly against my chest; the adrenaline of the situation surging throughout my desperate body. A soft groan rumbled in his throat as he released one of my hands and let the other linger, grounding me while his free hand slid down my thigh, up under my skirt, until it brushed the edge of my underwear. His movements were careful, measured, checking in with every inch.
"Feels good?" he asked against my jaw.
"Yeah..." I whispered.
Tilting my head towards his, I lapped my wet tongue along his full lips as his fingers lingered between my legs. He jerked my underwear to the side, exposing my swollen, hot, sensitive cunt to the cool air of the room, driving my need into something raw and unrelenting. I hissed as he brushed his finger gently over my clit and all over my slit, spreading the wetness over my folds; my knees losing all stability within seconds. Then, his fingers ceased their motion, and he pressed his hips firmly into my butt; his cock thick and twitching against me.
"Do you want me to fuck you?" he asked, voice ragged against my neck.
I nodded, speechless. I thought that I had a hold over him; never did I think that my body would so willingly succumb to Jinyoung.
“I asked you a question.” His voice was soft yet assertive as he pulled my face abruptly towards his. He slowly slid his index finger inside of me, pressing heavily against my G-spot, making my cunt clench.
I turned my head to him, lips trembling, “Yes… yes, please.” My hips rocking instinctively along Jinyoung’s long finger, wanting to feel more.
He spun me around again, mouth crashing onto mine, fingers tangled in my hair as he kissed me hard, deep... like he couldn’t get close enough. We stumbled backward toward the desk, and I half-laughed, half-moaned as he lifted me effortlessly and set me on the edge. He tugged at my tie, loosening it, then pulled it off entirely as his mouth moved down to my collarbone, sucking just enough to leave a mark. My blouse was next pushed aside to reveal the lace bra he’d been dying to touch, judging by the way his eyes had lingered all afternoon.
Jinyoung undid his belt quickly, his hands practiced, movements fluid. I should’ve felt vulnerable like that, spread open, exposed... but all I felt was power, and hunger. He groaned as he slid against me, teasing. I could feel every inch of him, hot and hard. And when he finally pushed in, slowly, deeply, we both gasped.
He didn’t rush at first. He held my gaze. He wanted to watch me feel every inch of him.
“Fuck, you’re tight.” He groaned as he struggled to pick up a steady rhythm.
My hands reached under his shirt and fervently explored his toned torso. I tried to wrap my legs around his waist to pull him in deeper, but he quickly pushed them away, holding my legs on either side of him as he took complete control.
His eyes frantically shifted over my body as he dug his fingers into my thighs and pulled me to the edge of the desk for an even better angle. His thrusts became faster, harder, desperate. Despite my whines and pleas, he kept driving himself into me relentlessly.
“You feel incredible,” he whispered, eyes closed in pleasure.
The pleasure built fast, my body arching toward him, nails digging into his back as the waves rolled higher and higher.
“Fuck, I’m so close.” My voice was barely audible through the strangled moans that were escaping my throat. I desperately needed to straighten my legs, but his hold was too strong, forcing me to absorb every ounce of pleasure that he was giving me.
An intense heat began to build up inside of me as my muscles tensed and began to quiver; my nails digging in desperately to Jinyoung’s forearms and almost breaking the skin as they did so.
“Yeah, I can feel it.” he stated smugly as I squirmed.
I was hot; blood coursing frantically through me as an all-consuming pleasure began to take hold. My orgasm was imminent, and it was going to take me down hard. I braced myself; my knuckles turning white as I gripped onto the edge of the desk tightly.
The orgasm slammed into the edge of my consciousness, but before I could fall into it... Smirking down at me, he pulled out. Just like that. Gone. Leaving me spread-legged and trembling, suspended in a cruel limbo of heat and ache as he pumped his shaft back and forth a few times. But before he could even finish stroking himself, I sat up, eyes burning into his with a slow, wicked smile. He thought he was breaking me. Poor boy. He hadn’t even seen me unhinged yet... I reached for his cock with one hand, curling my fingers around it as I pressed my lips to his ear.
"You think you’re the one in control?" I whispered, my breath warm, my voice velvety. "You wish you’d earned the privilege to finish inside me."
With a slow twist of my wrist and a perfectly timed stroke, I made him come hard. His gasp was raw, his body convulsing as he spilled hot cum all over my bare stomach and thighs. He staggered forward, bracing himself on the desk beside me, breathless and wrecked.
I dipped my finger in his release and traced a slow, lazy circle over my stomach, watching his eyes darken again with renewed hunger as I brought my finger seductively to my mouth, tasting him.
Then I hopped off the desk, legs still shaking but chin high, my power radiating in every step. I grabbed his tie to wipe off some of his cum, buttoned up my blouse with no rush, let my fingers trail down my tie, and tightened it with a smirk.
“You look so cute when you think you're in control", I murmured, brushing past him, lips grazing his jaw. "But next time, think twice before trying to play MY game."
I opened the classroom door, stepped into the golden hush of the empty hallway, and walked away without looking back, leaving him there, dazed, undone, and entirely mine. I didn’t need to look back at him. He'd be thinking about me for days. Maybe forever.
Hi, besties!
This is my first piece after being away from this platform for quite a while. If you liked what you just read, it would mean a lot if you gave it a like, reposted it, or left me a comment. If you have any suggestions, feedback, or requests for me, my inbox is always open. Also, if you'd like me to tag you in my upcoming posts, just let me know!
Love you all so much — thank you for taking the time to read, and I truly hope you enjoyed it! 💛
summary: a little inspiration from lee youngji's “small girl”.
I've always known that I'm not the kind of girl Jinyoung would choose. I'm not delicate, I'm not reserved, I don't fit into his perfect world. Besides, he only sees me as his friend.
So I decided to stop trying, to let him go and live without expecting anything from him, and for the first time, to look in another direction without expecting that he will look back at me.
But why does it seem like every time I try to pull away, the more he tries to get closer?
warnings: I haven't written an au in a long time, so there might be some poor writing, beyond that a lot of mixed feelings, fluff, jinyoung!coworker, AAAAAAAA I loved writing this.
this story is a jinyoung x fem y/n, hope you like it.
words: 8,316 words. (ohmy)
a/n: it's been a while since I last wrote, but I was in a creative slump for a long time where I didn't like anything or had no motivation to write, but recently got7 made a comeback and I said 'why not?'
also, I've noticed that there isn't much got7 content on tumblr, so I hope you like this one, I really enjoyed writing it and finding myself again.
i want to remind you that English is not my first language, so if there are mistakes I hope you will forgive me :(
thank u, TQM.
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“Baby, would you still love me?
Though I got a big laugh, big voice, and big personality
Would you guarantee?
‘Small Girl’, Lee Young Ji.
They say that love is not forced, that if you have to beg for someone's attention, then it's not worth it. But no one tells you what to do when your heart is stubborn, when it insists on beating harder for someone who barely notices you.
I knew it from the beginning.
Jinyoung would never look at me the way I looked at him.
Because I'm not his type.
I'm not the discreet, elegant girl he usually likes, and that's okay.
Or at least, that's what I keep telling myself while I change the name of his contact on my phone and promise myself, once again, that this time I'm going to get over it.
But of course, saying I'm going to get over him is easy. The problem is actually doing it.
Because even if I delete our pictures together, even if I promise myself that this is the last time I let it affect me, the next day I'm still in the same place. Sitting in the usual coffee shop, surrounded by the same people, with Jinyoung on the other side of the table, laughing at something one of our co-workers said.
And, by inertia, my eyes search for him.
Memorize him.
His laugh, the way his eyes close a little when he's really enjoying himself, how he runs a hand through his hair when he's concentrating.
Little habits that I shouldn't notice, that shouldn't matter, but are engraved in me.
I take a deep breath. No more.
I'm going to forget you.
I'm going to stop liking you.
Because yes, today will be different.
Today, for the first time, I won't wait for you to look back at me.
Today, I will finally stop liking Park Jinyoung.
That's a promise.
But to be honest, I don't know exactly when or how I started to like Jinyoung, I think one day happened and that's it, there was no turning back.
Although I do remember the first time we met.
I think it was April, or maybe May, or something like that, a month where flowers were beginning to appear on the trees along with the first signs of the return of the warm sun in Seoul.
It had been a busy few weeks, probably the busiest I'd had since coming to this place. Work had multiplied after my partner's maternity leave, so all her work was now mine as well and it was starting to pile up next to the work I had accumulated for weeks on my desk.
I remember that my blouse was bothering me and my pants were not warm enough for the cold office, which was hiding from the sun's rays. In desperation because of the cold, I decided to escape from my pile of earrings to get some sun on the terrace, knowing that I might get a scolding.
But at that moment, I didn't care; I wasn't going to let someone else catch a cold when spring was in full bloom.
As I waited for the elevator, intending to escape in it, the metal doors opened revealing my boss accompanied by someone else. I felt that karma was playing against me for my actions, but at that instant my mind was not for worries.
In fact, his attention was on the young man in front of me and how I had suddenly forgotten how to breathe, leaving the air trapped in my lungs. His black suit perfectly marked his figure, his glasses, always sliding down the bridge of his nose, gave him an added charm, and his lotion....
God, his lotion was almost as mesmerizing as his gaze.
“Miss Kim, how nice to find you around.”
My supervisor's voice snapped me out of the trance that was beginning to cloud my mind.
“I want to introduce you to Mr. Park, Park Jinyoung, he will be your new partner until Miss Yun returns from leave.”
“It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Kim.”
I don't know how long I stared at Jinyoung, but it was probably my flushed face and the awkwardness of my response that caused him to laugh.
From that day on, we became inseparable.
In my eyes, he was the spitting image of a prince out of a fairy tale. From head to toe, he looked like the perfect man. But it wasn't just his looks that captivated me, it was the way he was that made me fall more in love with him every day.
I loved that every morning he would greet me and talk to me until our workday began. That, throughout the day, he would give me little treats to keep me energized. That he would accompany me to lunch, even if he had already finished his lunch break. That he would wait for me in the elevator so that we could go to the bus stop together and that, without saying so, he would let a few buses go by just so he could stay a little longer by my side.
But to be honest... was there anything I didn't like about Jinyoung?
Ah, yes.
There was something.
I didn't like that I wasn't his type.
One day, as I was on my way to deliver some papers to Marketing, I saw Jinyoung and a couple of friends sitting around having a coffee. My feet were hurrying towards them to greet them but my brain slowed them down, hearing the question Jaebeom had asked the brunette before they could see me coming.
“What about you Jinyoung, what kind of girls do you like?”
My heart began to beat fast, almost as if I had run a full marathon without stopping. Like a coward, I hid behind a pillar while I listened to their conversation.
Yes, it was disrespectful of me to listen to someone else's conversation, but I couldn't move. I didn't know if it was my body or my heart that had decided to leave me there, listening to the dialogue between them.
“Well, I don't have an exact type.”
I breathed again.
“Don't lie, I know you have one” A second voice spoke.
My eyes caught the silhouette of BamBam, who was playfully slapping his hyung.
“Don't be shy, Jinyoungie. Tell us, we are friends.”
It seemed that the pressure caused by the pair had made Jinyoung succumb to their question, who was starting to rub the back of his neck before answering them.
“Okay, okay... Well, I like girls shorter than me, I don't really have a preference in hair color but I think blondes look good, they look pretty. Maybe that they're discreet, elegant, that I feel like I can introduce her to my parents without fear that they might reject her, that they don't talk or laugh too much, I don't know! Right, that's enough.”
Shit.
My body froze.
Suddenly, I could feel the coffee I had drunk in the morning getting stuck in my throat, unable to move from my spot.
I stood there, my fingers clenching tightly around the papers I was supposed to deliver, as if to keep my thoughts from spiraling out of control.
Discreet. Elegant. Pleasing in the eyes of her parents.
Definitely, of all the things the man had named.
None of those things were me.
I let out a low sigh and closed my eyes for a second, forcing myself to compose myself. It wasn't like he expected to hear my description on his list, but I wasn't amused to feel so out of it either. Like the possibility didn't even exist.
Nothing on that silly list defined me. If anything really characterized me, it was my outrageous laugh, my sarcastic comments that left more than one person speechless, and my absolute inability to keep quiet when something bothered me. Not to mention, of course, my ridiculous height, which used to surprise anyone upon seeing me for the first time.
And elegant? Well... tripping over my own feet and spouting curses at the worst moment definitely didn't fall into that category.
I pursed my lips and glanced sideways again.
Jinyoung was smiling with the confidence of someone who thought he was pretty clear on what he wanted. But if he was so sure, why did he feel the need to justify himself so much?
I forced myself to let go of the papers in my hands and smooth them out with my fingers, playing with the edge of them. It was then that a small smile appeared on my lips.
“Of all the things you mentioned, Jinyoung, none of them fit me,” I thought, feeling a spark of amusement mixed with something else, something I didn't want to admit. “It's almost like I'm exactly the kind of girl that terrifies you.”
I bit my lip, fighting the temptation to laugh. But not a happy laugh, but the kind that sounded more like a resigned sigh.
“Oh, noona!”
A shiver ran through my body when I heard BamBam's voice calling me. As best I could, I recomposed the expression on my face and turned around, looking at the trio in front of me.
“Mhm? Oh, guys, what's wrong?”
“What are you doing here, is something wrong?”
Quick. Make something up.
“Oh yeah, I wanted to check with you guys to see if you knew if Seojun was at his desk, I was asked to deliver some papers to him before he went out to lunch.”
“I'm not sure, in fact I think he already went out, but we can-”
“You're bleeding.”
Jinyoung's voice brought me back to earth, feeling his hands wrap around mine and watching as blood gushed out and stained the papers.
“Let me tend to you, let's go get something to nurse-”
“Don't worry, Jinyoung. I'll go to the bathroom and then I'm going to redo these papers.”
“But it's almost time to eat and your finger...”
“Don't worry, I'll stop by today from lunch, I have to deliver this urgently, don't worry. Excuse me.”
As best I could, I bowed and slipped out of there.
That day was the beginning of something I didn't know how to stop.
After that, I started to distance myself. At first, it was just small, almost imperceptible details. I avoided spending too much time in the same spaces as him, I let conversations with the group flow without looking for his gaze, and I even forced myself not to react when he said something that would normally make me respond in search of some reaction from him. It wasn't difficult, at least at first. I kept telling myself that it was for the best, that there was no point in holding on to something that clearly had no place in his world.
But Jinyoung... he didn't make it easy.
Every time I thought I had found a balance, something about him would push me back. A genuine concern, a warmer-than-normal smile, the way he always seemed to notice when something was bothering me before others did. Details that shouldn't mean that much, but to my misfortune, they did.
And so, while I tried to pull away, he kept tugging at an invisible string that tied me to his orbit, even without realizing it.
Until one day I looked at my reflection and understood that my heart was not only frayed...but that every show of affection from him was making it break a little more.
“Noona, are you okay?”
BamBam's voice snapped me out of my trance. I blinked several times, snapping back to the present. We were in a coffee shop with the team, the murmur of conversations and the sound of cups clinking against plates filled the atmosphere. I hadn't even realized I had stopped listening.
“Huh? Yeah, yeah... I was just thinking about a few things.”
Jinyoung looked at me from across the table. It seemed that my disconnection to the atmosphere had caused him some strangeness, trying to tell me something through his gaze, something I couldn't quite make out.
I removed myself in my seat, uncomfortable.
“Wow, she looked so serious I thought she was planning world domination or something” Youngjae joked, making me let out a forced laugh.
I forced myself to pick up my glass and take a sip. I didn't want them to notice anything weird. I didn't want him to notice something was wrong.
But I knew it wouldn't be long before he did. Because Jinyoung always noticed those things.
And that was just the problem.
My phone vibrated in my bag, causing me to rummage through my things before I saw the screen.
Jinyoung: hey, u okay?
My eyes searched for him, catching him in the way he was watching me from across the table, almost crossing me. A subtle smile, almost impossible to discover whether it was a lie or not, came across my face, accompanying a soft nod of my head.
Me: yeah, don't worry! :)
I went back to watching him, trying to connect with the conversation the group was carrying so that I could look interested and laugh at whatever they were talking about, unconcerned with the man in the other corner.
It seemed to have been a success when he reconnected to the flow of the others.
When the coffee had cooled and everyone looked pretty interested in leaving, the conversation was over, and being honest I don't even remember 80% of what we had talked about that night. Gradually the goodbyes began to be heard, as well as the sound of cars leaving the place.
To my misfortune, not having a car tied me to public transportation, occupying an app or asking others if they could get me as close to home as possible.
“Are you leaving already?”
My heart gave a slight flip when I heard his voice, but my mind forcefully suppressed it. I turned to meet Jinyoung, who had stopped beside me with his hands in his pockets and that calm expression that always seemed so natural on him.
“Something like that,” I replied lightly, glancing at my cell phone screen again. “I'm seeing if an Uber or taking the bus is more feasible.”
“Don't worry, I'll get you closer to your hou-”
“Oppa!”
Our conversation was interrupted by a third party, causing all attention to focus on the newcomer.
Jia, Choi Jia.
Remember the list of things Jinyoung had said earlier about his ideal girl? Well, somehow, everything about her fit perfectly with the description the boy had given that day.
Short, elegant, discreet. Her long blonde hair fell in perfect waves over her shoulders, and her sweet smile seemed designed to win over any strict mother. She was the kind of girl who didn't raise her voice any louder than necessary, who always knew how to behave at the right moment.
In other words, his ideal type.
And, of course, she knew it.
I barely turned around to see her approaching with a beaming smile, holding Jinyoung's arm with familiarity.
“Let's go together! Our house is in the same direction, remember?”
A knot formed in my stomach before I could help it.
Of course, how had I forgotten?
Jia and Jinyoung lived in the same area.
It was almost as if fate was playing all its cards so that our paths wouldn't come together in any way.
He blinked, confused, as if he had just remembered that detail. “Oh... right.”
“It's perfect,” she continued, not letting go of his arm. “That way you don't have to take a detour.”
Jinyoung hesitated for a second and his gaze rested on me, as if he was still considering his original offer.
But I saw it in his eyes... he wasn't going to say no to Jia.
And I had no intention of just standing there waiting for him to do so.
“It's okay, don't worry, Jinyoung,” I said quickly, forcing a smile. “I'll take the bus, it's fine.”
“But-”
“Noona!”
Another voice interrupted me before Jinyoung could continue speaking. BamBam approached with the phone in his hand and an excited expression.
“Where are you going now, noona?”
“I'm going to catch the bus.”
“No noona! A friend is coming to pick me up and he can bring you closer to your house too, he's in the same direction where we're going. He has no problem with you joining us on our journey.”
I inwardly thanked him for his sudden intervention and nodded quickly. “Are you sure? I don't want to inconvenience anyone.”
“Trust me, you won't.” He said with a mischievous grin. “Besides, it sure will do him good to meet more people.”
Just then, and almost falling from the sky, the lights of a black car illuminated part of the parking lot as it pulled up in front of us.
“There he is,” BamBam announced, raising his hand in greeting.
The driver's door opened, and out stepped a tall boy with somewhat tousled dark hair and a calm but attentive expression. His sharp features were accentuated by the dim street lighting, and the way he moved, with a natural, effortless confidence, made him instantly catch the eye.
BamBam smiled proudly before making introductions.
“Hyung, hey!”
Jinyoung, who was still beside me, straightened his shoulders slightly. Jia tilted her head curiously and I just stood static, watching the man arriving to join us.
“This is Mark.” The boy greeted everyone with a simple nod, trying to decipher our names. “Hyung, this is Jia, Jinyoung hyung and my noona, that's who we'll be taking today, our new traveling companion.”
“Bam's famous noona, it's a relief to finally give her a face.” A smile broke out on my face as he finished speaking, thanking the heavens that the subject had suddenly changed his direction.
“I hope he spoke only wonders about me.”
“Oh, of course he did. In fact, I don't think he was able to shut up after I asked him.”
Mark's laughter was catching in the air, causing me to laugh along with him as well. But despite that instant of grace, I could feel Jinyoung's steady gaze burn into my back.
“Don't talk about me like I'm not here! Hyung, noona!”
As if by magic, I felt again that there were people around us, forgetting the feelings that were wrapping around me a couple of minutes ago.
“If you're going to keep laughing at me like that, then we'd better leave, I don't want to be humiliated by you guys anymore!”
I shook my head in amusement as I watched him get into the car, turning my gaze back to Jinyoung and his new co-driver.
“It was nice meeting you guys, I hope we can meet more often.”
Mark's voice broke the silence, echoing softly in the air before he bowed goodbye and got into the car.
Just then, my eyes met Jinyoung's, and my heart raced without warning. I didn't understand why I felt this way so suddenly, but in his gaze there was something... something he was trying to tell me, just like in the cafeteria a couple of minutes ago.
“Well... Get home safely. See you Monday.”
I raised my hand in a farewell gesture before turning to get into the car. But, at that precise moment, a gentle tug on my clothes made me stop.
To my surprise, Jinyoung was holding me. His face reflected an urgency that unsettled me. His lips, as red as an apple, seemed to have been bitten just a few seconds ago. His eyes roamed my face with intensity, as if desperately searching for an answer in it, as if what he wanted to tell me was trapped between us.
With a thread of a voice, I barely managed to ask, “What's wrong, Pepi?”
He opened his mouth, his tongue was pressing against the inside of his cheek, as if the words were on the tip, ready to come out. But they didn't. His grip on my clothes became firmer, as if he was trying to keep me from leaving without hearing what he had to tell me.
But in the end... nothing.
I felt his grip loosen until his hand fell to his side.
“It's nothing, sorry.”
My chest tightened with inexplicable frustration.
“Oh... it's okay.”
A wave of disappointment washed over me from head to toe. I wanted him to speak, to let out those words I was holding back. That he would give me a reason to stay a few seconds longer. But he didn't.
So I just sighed and mumbled a goodbye, before finally getting into the car.
The goodbye had been brief, but the weight of what was left unsaid hung in the air.
The car started up, gliding nimbly between the streets. From the back seat, I watched the city lights fleetingly flash past the window, as Mark and BamBam's voice mingled in distant conversation.
“Noona, how far are we from your house?”
BamBam's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I blinked a couple of times before leaning in slightly to look at him.
“Ah... Not much, about ten more minutes.”
I tried to sound natural, but my mind was still trapped in the instant I had shared with Jinyoung. Or rather, in what we did not share. Something inside me told me that he had wanted to talk, that he had been on the verge of doing so, but something stopped him.
Was it fear, was it doubt, or was he just not as important as I thought he was?
Mark seemed focused on the road, his face serene, but BamBam was watching me with a curious glint in his eye.
“Are you okay?” he asked with a lopsided smile, as if he knew exactly what was going through my mind.
I didn't answer right away. Instead, I forced a smile.
“Yeah, I'm just tired.”
BamBam let out a slight sigh and shrugged. “If you say so, noona.”
The rest of the ride passed in comfortable silence, interrupted only by the murmur of the radio and the occasional conversation between the two of them. For my part, I watched the lights of the city go by, turning the matter over again and wondering what would have happened if Jinyoung had spoken.
Soon after, I could see the cluster of buildings where my home was. The car came to a complete stop and that's when I just opened the door to get out of the car.
“Thank you so much for approaching me, Mark.”
“No problem, besides you were just passing by.”
“Good night, guys. Thanks again.”
Setting my feet on solid ground, I waved goodbye to them one more time before turning around. However, like déjà vu, something once again got in my way, preventing me from moving forward.
“Noona.”
My stride stopped and I turned to look at him.
“If you want to talk about whatever happened back there...you know where to find me.”
His words were playful, but there was something genuine in his tone. I was silent for a moment before smiling sincerely.
“I know, thank you, Bam.”
The next thing I heard was the car start up and drive off into the darkness of the night, as I headed for my apartment.
As soon as I closed the door behind me, I let out a long, tired sigh. I leaned against the wood and closed my eyes, letting all the oxygen in my body go out of my mouth.
It seemed like all my attempts to get away from Jinyoung wanted to be put on pause, almost as if fate finally wanted to give me some of what I prayed so hard for before I went to sleep.
But I couldn't give in to the slightest bit of attention he was giving me, I had to be strong enough to be able to overcome these feelings that were blossoming more and more in me.
I had promised.
I had promised myself.
Be that as it may.
I'm going to stop liking you, Jinyoung.
Despite all my attempts to forget what happened on Friday and turn the page, I had spent the whole weekend with my mind trapped in that moment with Jinyoung.
I relived the scene over and over again, searching in his gaze, in his body language, in every little gesture, for some clue as to what he really wanted to tell me.
But after so much thought, I came to the conclusion that if he didn't say it, maybe it wasn't as important as I thought.
Maybe it was just my imagination playing tricks on me. Maybe, at the last second, he realized that what he wanted to tell me wasn't worth it. Or worse, maybe there was never anything to say.
So I decided to dismiss it. There was no point in going on and on about it and gnawing at my head.
By the time Monday came around, I had buried the issue in the back of my mind, focusing on what really mattered: work.
It is clear that Mondays are always the worst day of the week, but it seemed that today was set to be the worst of all. Apparently all the meetings had been scheduled for that day.
I had barely seen the shadow of Jinyoung's silhouette all day, he had been going up and down the elevator loaded with papers, at the same time that I was moving from one room to another to have all the meetings that could exist in the world.
We didn't cross a single word all day.
There were no morning greetings, no pauses for conversation, no little sweets left on my desk.
And though I repeated to myself that I needn't have minded, a part of me couldn't help but notice.
Between all the work and the small but possible breaks there were to rest, it suddenly got dark and again I was at the entrance of the building, seeing if it was more economical to order an Uber or walk to wait for the bus.
“Are you waiting for the prices to go down?”
Jinyoung's voice interrupted my internal debate, lifting my gaze from the screen and observing the brown-haired man. I couldn't help but scan him, he was wearing a casual outfit but one that didn't lose that hint of elegance he always used to have, he looked perfect.
“Something like that, but I don't think it's going to happen.” I shrugged my shoulders before I could stow the phone in my bag, watching him once again.
“Let's go together.”
His sudden proposal caught me off guard, feeling the pounding of my heart echoing in my chest. A soft blush settled on my cheeks, noticing how Jinyoung gave me one of those smiles that generated butterflies in my stomach.
But before I could say anything, a familiar voice interrupted that scene.
“Ah, noona!”
An elated BamBam appeared in front of us, who looked like he had run so he could meet us.
“We were looking for you.”
“We?”
As soon as that question escaped my mouth, Mark appeared at the side of the young man, who gave him a small pat on the back before looking at me.
“We're going in the same direction as last time. If you want, we can take you again.”
My gaze shifted from BamBam to Mark, and then to Jinyoung.
For the first time that day, he seemed at a loss for words.
His expression tensed for a brief moment before he regained his neutral gesture, as if the interruption didn't affect him in the least.
“Oh guys, excuse me but-”
“You guys go ahead. I'll take the bus. Actually, I have to go somewhere else, I'm meeting someone.”
The echo of Jinyoung's voice made me turn around, noticing how suddenly his expression had changed just like his previous proposition, once again.
His tone was calm, almost indifferent.
But something about the way he averted his gaze and how quickly he ended the conversation made me feel a small twinge in my chest.
Before I could say anything, he had already turned and was walking away down the street with his hands in his pockets.
Mark and BamBam were silent for a few seconds, exchanging quick glances with each other before looking back at me.
They knew something had happened, but neither asked.
“Shall we go, noona?” said BamBam finally, in his usually nonchalant tone, as if he hadn't just noticed how strange the whole exchange had been.
My gaze didn't leave Jinyoung's backpack until it disappeared around the corner, feeling again like there was something he had wanted to say but ended up vanishing into thin air.
“Yeah, let's go.”
The rest of the week went along pretty much the same way.
Whenever it seemed that Jinyoung was going to approach me to tell me something, BamBam and Mark would appear out of nowhere with their usual:
Noona, come on, we'll give you a ride.
At first, I didn't think anything of it.
It was a nice gesture on their part and actually saved me from taking public transportation.
But after the third, the fourth, the fifth time... I started to notice it.
And I wasn't the only one.
Every time it happened, Jinyoung would clench his jaw for barely a second before immediately relaxing, as if reminding himself not to react.
Every time BamBam would appear with his carefree smile, I would watch out of the corner of my eye as Jinyoung would avert his gaze, pretending that it didn't bother him at all.
Whenever Mark would make a simple nod of his head to signal me to leave, Jinyoung would clench his fists slightly, as if he was holding something back.
But he never said anything.
He never complained.
He never tried to avoid it.
And yet, that restrained annoyance was becoming more and more apparent.
Mark and BamBam began to notice it too.
Their gazes became more curious every time Jinyoung and I crossed paths.
More analytical when Jinyoung feigned indifference.
More amused when it seemed that, for a second, he was about to say something... only to stop and carry on as if nothing had happened.
And I, for one, began to wonder how much longer he could keep holding back before he finally snapped.
Finally it was Friday, and as had become customary, I waited at the entrance for my trusted drivers, they didn't usually take much longer than 10 minutes to show up.
As I waited, I could tell that I was no longer alone, but that there was a second presence beside me.
“Shall I keep you company?”
My face turned the instant I saw Jinyoung next to me, noticing how he was arranging his glasses on the bridge of his nose. A smile broke out on my face, nodding softly at his offer.
“Will you go with them again?”
I nodded once more, watching his face turn that relaxation into tension as he confirmed what it seemed he didn't want to hear.
“It's a nice gesture on them to approach me, plus I save some money that way.”
Jinyoung let out a small laugh, but it didn't sound genuine. Rather, it sounded like he was trying to downplay something he didn't particularly enjoy.
“Yeah, right... a nice gesture.”
He didn't say anything else, just looked down and gently kicked the ground with the toe of his shoe.
A small silence formed between us.
It wasn't awkward, but there was something about his posture, the way his jaw tensed and his hands remained inside his coat pockets, that made me think he was holding back from saying something else.
But before I could break the silence that had formed, the vibration of my phone interrupted us.
Bam: Noona, sorry but we're going to be a little late.
My brow furrowed, trying to figure out what was going on with the little context that message had delivered.
A second notification came through.
Bam: Mark is stuck in traffic and I'm having a tummy crisis.
Bam: I didn't have to eat that much kimchi for lunch.
Bam: Go ahead noona, don't wait for us.
I quickly answered that message to stop worrying them and put the cell phone back in its place, letting out a soft sigh.
“Looks like my attempt to save ends today.”
“And that?”
I turned and looked at the man, who was looking at me as he arranged his glasses on the bridge of his nose.
“Mark and Bam won't be able to take me today” I let out a small chuckle before noticing Jinyoung's face relax. “I'll start walking or I'll miss the bus.”
My feet stomped to the stop, but it seemed the echo of my footsteps weren't the only thing I heard.
“I can give you a ride if you like!”
My footsteps paused for a moment. I wasn't sure if I had heard correctly or if my mind was playing a joke on me. I turned to him with a slight nod.
“Huh?”
Jinyoung cleared his throat, as if he himself was surprised by his own offer. He settled his glasses on the bridge of his nose and repeated more firmly.
“That I can give you a ride if you like.”
“Since when do you have a car?” A smile tugged at my lips, noticing how the man moved closer.
“Since Jackson stopped borrowing mine and decided to buy one.”
“He finally has his own car, good for him” We both shared a laugh, feeling how we were back to feeling as comfortable as before. “I was already pretty sure he was going to end up buying your car from you.”
“Thank heavens no, so I can now offer you a ride.”
Again that look.
That look that wanted to say everything but at the same time his mouth said nothing, with that gleam that illuminated his pretty eyes, and how not to forget those pink lips-.
Stop it, stop thinking about it.
My head shook, pushing away those thoughts that, once again, invaded my head again. I relaminated my lips before regaining my composure, watching Jinyoung, who seemed quite interested in my sudden action.
“So, shall we go?”
I hesitated for a second.
Would this really do me any good?
There was no answer to that but if I wanted to get over it, this was the way to do it, putting myself to the test one last time.
“Yeah, come on.”
We both shared a smile before we could walk to the car.
The drive began with a quietness that didn't feel uncomfortable. Jinyoung drove with one hand on the steering wheel and the other resting on the window, while I absentmindedly looked out of mine, feeling the warmth of the sunset tint the city in orange hues.
“If you want, you can play music,” he said suddenly, without taking his eyes off the road.
“Are you sure you trust my playlist?” I joked, grabbing his phone that already had the music app open.
“If it's still this chaotic, probably not.”
I let out a laugh as I started to slide through his playlists.
“Do you actually still have this playlist?” I asked, surprised to see one in particular.
“Which one?”
“The one we made together when we first started working together, with the most ridiculous songs we could find.”
Jinyoung laughed low, shaking his head.
“I didn't have the heart to erase it.”
“Oh, come on, Jinyoung. Tell the truth,” I lightly nudged his arm ‘you love listening to ABBA when you're alone in the car.’
“If you keep that comment up, I'll drop you off at the next corner.”
We both broke into laughter, feeling that distance that had appeared between us over the past few days begin to fade.
It felt right.
It felt... natural.
As the music played softly in the background, we continued to chat, picking up old jokes and creating new ones in the process, almost feeling like the distance that had been generated had brought us closer, where we were once again the same people who would scold each other for not stopping talking after a meeting.
At some point in the conversation, our best memories began to surface, feeling my stomach ache with every laugh we let out.
“It wasn't my fault!” Jinyoung protested with laughter.
“What do you mean it wasn't your fault! You left me stuck in the meeting room because you 'thought I was already gone'!”
“I did it under pressure.”
“Pressure from what?” I raised an eyebrow.
“Pressure from wanting to leave quickly before I got caught in another meeting.”
I let out another laugh, gently punching his arm. I could see how the traffic light had changed to red, giving us a break from the laughter we had been sharing since we got in the car.
Jinyoung ran a hand through his hair, blurting out a sentence that chilled me to the bone.
“I missed this, I missed you.”
The sound of cars passing around us seemed to fade for a moment. My breath caught in my chest as my mind processed his words.
I missed this, I missed you.
It was not an elaborate confession, not a speech full of carefully chosen words. It was simple, sincere and, above all, unexpected.
I watched him out of the corner of my eye, watching his fingers drum softly on the steering wheel, a nervous gesture I rarely saw from him. His eyes were fixed on the red light of the traffic light, but the tension in his jaw gave away that he was waiting for an answer.
No, he was begging for an answer.
I couldn't lie to my own feelings, so I was honest with him.
“Me too” I whispered, almost without realizing it.
Jinyoung turned his face slowly toward me, as if he wasn't sure he had heard right. My gaze met his, and for the first time in a long time, I didn't feel the need to look away.
The traffic light changed to green, but neither of us reacted immediately. A car horn behind us broke the moment, bringing us back to reality.
Jinyoung cleared his throat slightly before tightening his grip on the steering wheel and continuing to drive.
The silence between us was no longer awkward, but charged with something else. Something that hovered in the air, making me feel more aware of his presence, of the accelerated heartbeat in my chest, of how my skin bristled every time our arms accidentally brushed.
The rest of the trip was calmer, sharing different opinions of events that had happened in the office, almost as if we were both trying to avoid the recent confession we had had.
Sooner or later we had arrived at the apartment complex. My eyes averted their gaze from the large buildings to Jinyoung, who was watching me uneasily.
“Thanks for the ride, Pepi.” A new smile broke out on my face, fixing me as he shared his with me as well.
“No problem, it's no trouble.”
“Be careful coming back, okay?”
Before I could leave, I felt my hands itch, almost needing to do something else. Hesitant to do so, I simply let my instinct decide for me.
I leaned in slightly and deposited a kiss on his cheek, barely a brush, but just enough to feel the warmth of his skin against my lips.
Jinyoung seemed to freeze, as if trying to process what had just happened. I didn't wait to see his reaction. I turned quickly and got out of the car, feeling my heart hammering in my chest.
As soon as the cool night air enveloped me, I realized something.
I wasn't going to move forward like this.
If I kept hiding behind small, contained displays of affection, half-hearted moments and unspoken words, I would never get out of this emotional tangle.
“Agh, what a fool.” I muttered to myself, keeping my pace steady down that path.
I took a breath of air, clenching my fists. I couldn't go on at this in-between point. I was determined.
As I was about to take the first step away from there, ready to stop fantasizing about something that was never going to happen, his voice reached me.
“Wait! Y/N!”
Jinyoung didn't shout often, and the fact that he did so now took me by surprise. I turned instinctively, and before I could react, he was already in front of me, breathing in agitation from catching up to me so quickly.
“Jinyoung... What are you doing, why are you here?”
“Are you still going with them?”
His question surprised me a little.
Had he run that far to ask me that?
“What? What do you mean?”
“If Mark and Bambam keep telling you to go with them, will you?”
I stared at him, sensing that his question had a second meaning. I didn't mean it because of the way he said it or the context, but because, for the first time, his eyes were watching me and telling me what they had hidden so much, what caused that special gleam in them.
“I-I, uhm, I don't know, I think-”
“You don't have to go with them. Let's go together.”
His voice sounded firm, but there was something else in his tone: a silent plea, a truth that had been holding back too long.
I stood still, feeling my chest shrink with unexpected warmth. My mouth felt dry and all the words I had thought of at that moment had vanished, feeling lost in the intense gaze Jinyoung held.
“I don't want to keep watching you walk away” He whispered, with the intensity of one who has held on to something too long. “I don't want to keep walking behind you, waiting for you to turn around. I want you to stay. With me.”
The world seemed to stop.
I don't know if it was the way he said it, with that perfect mix of sweetness and conviction, or the way his gaze held me so securely, but I felt my heart stop for a second only to then beat harder.
Jinyoung didn't speak without thinking. And if he said something like that... it was because he really meant it.
“What are you talking about, Jinyoung? W-what? What about Jia?”
As soon as I mentioned the girl's name, it seemed that suddenly his face turned into confusion.
“What does she have to do with it?”
“Please Pepi, it's obvious. She's...”
I struggled to keep my gaze on his, feeling I wasn't strong enough to tell him, to admit what was obvious.
“She's everything you want. From head to toe she's your ideal girl, Jinyoung.”
He took a step forward, eliminating any space between us. My breath hitched as he brought his hand to my face, with the softness of someone who feared he might vanish at any moment. Our gazes reconnected almost instantly, leaving my heart rate to rise again.
“It's not, of course not.”
“Please don't deny it to make me feel better, I heard you.”
My teeth caught my bottom lip, holding back the urge to cry that was starting to grow in my body as I remembered that instant.
“I heard you that time, when Jaebeom asked you what your ideal type of girl was. You described her perfectly, out of your whole list of things, Jia was the spitting image.”
A laugh escaped the boy's lips, feeling that what he had just heard was the funniest thing anyone could have said to him.
“No, it's not true.”
Before I could respond anything, feeling offended at the uncharacteristic way he had called me a liar, he continued speaking.
“She was never my type.”
Jinyoung brought one of his hands to the back of his neck, ruffling his hair a little, as if gathering all the courage he had to finally let out everything he was holding back.
“I made up that list” He finally admitted, his voice laden with a mixture of frustration and something deeper. “Not because Jia was my type... but because if I said what I really liked, Jaebeom and BamBam would have noticed instantly.”
My eyes widened even more, hearing the loud gallop of my heart in my ears. My lips parted in shock.
“Realized? Realized what?”
His eyes bore into mine, serious and vulnerable at the same time.
“That the only person who fit my true description perfectly...was you.”
The air seemed to rush out of my lungs all at once.
“Do you know how many times I was asked that? How many times I wanted to say it?” He moistened his lips and shook his head softly. “But I couldn't. I didn't want them to know before you did...before I had the courage to tell you myself.”
My heart was pounding so hard I was sure he could hear it.
“But when they asked me that time...I panicked. I wasn't ready to admit it out loud, not in front of them, not when I didn't even know what you felt. So I made up a list. One different enough that no one would suspect... but generic enough that no one would ask any more questions.”
The truth of his words fell on me like a sure blow. Everything I had taken for granted, everything I had interpreted as fact, crumbled in the face of the confession Jinyoung was regaling me with.
And worst of all... I believed it.
Because there he stood, with his heart fully exposed, with those eyes that had never been as honest as they were in that instant.
“You were never part of my list, because if I said it out loud...everyone would have known it was always you.”
After his confession, the loud sound of my heartbeat and his erratic breathing was all that could be heard at that moment.
“It was always you ever since I met you, ever since I saw you in the elevator. The one that made my heart beat so hard it made me dizzy, the one that made me want to get to work early because then I could start my day seeing you, that made me repeat lunch...” He paused a little before he could smile sincerely, looking at me once more. “The one that made me leave my car at home just so I could walk her to the stop and have a little more time to talk.”
Small tears slid down my cheeks, the way the sincerity of his words had managed to not only alter my heart, but had also broken down every barrier I had built around him.
Jinyoung raised his hand cautiously, watching my face with concern at the sudden tears that were beginning to well up.
“What, why are you crying, did I say something wrong?”
I shook my head softly, trying to hide my own sobs between giggles, feeling a weight lift off my back.
“No, Jinyoungie... It was perfect.”
There was no sign or anything specific, we just knew.
Jinyoung tilted his face slightly, and the instant our breaths intertwined, I knew there was no turning back.
Our lips met in a desired kiss that seemed like it would never happen, as if we were both tasting the sensation, making sure this wasn't a dream. But instantly, the need to be closer enveloped us like an unstoppable current.
The feel of his hands around my waist was firm, seeking not to separate me from him until he decided for himself. A shiver ran down my back as the sweet taste of his breath mingled with mine, and I found myself losing myself in the sensation, in the warmth, in the fact that after all, he had always been there.
Slowly we parted, letting our breaths mingle and our foreheads meet, resting after that whirlwind of feelings we had just unleashed.
Jinyoung smiled, that soft, shy smile that always managed to make me forget everything else.
“Ewww, get a room!”
BamBam's familiar voice made us all jump out of the way, as if we'd been caught doing something forbidden. I felt my cheeks burn as I turned my head and was met with the most embarrassing scene possible: BamBam laughing uproariously, Mark leaning against the car with a knowing half-smile, and Jaebeom with his arms crossed, nodding approvingly.
“How did they...?” I asked in the direction of Jinyoung, who looked even more embarrassed than they did as he cheered us on.
“It's about time, were they planning to keep up that tension until retirement?” Mark's striking voice was next to interrupt the silence, who was fist-bumping with Jaebeom. “You owe me 20,000, Bam.”
“God! Hyung, really, just now? You ruin the moment.”
Instinctively, we both burst into laughter, feeling the tension and embarrassment completely melt away after that moment. Our gazes met once more, and as if the whole world came down to this instant, we kissed again and again under the cover of night.
I always thought I would never be the kind of girl that men liked.
Maybe it was because of my indelicate way of saying things or my innate ability to blurt out the worst comments at the wrong time. Maybe it was also due to my height, which used to surprise many, or the bland color of my hair, which didn't stand out at all.
But that night, as I felt Jinyoung's arms around me gently, his warm breath brushing against my skin and his gaze fixed on me as if I was the only thing that existed, I understood that everything I once thought about myself was meaningless.
Because for him, I was enough.
To him, my outrageous laugh, my sharp sarcasm, and my total inability to keep quiet when something bothered me were not flaws, but part of what he loved about me.
And as his lips met mine again, I knew I didn't need to be anyone else's ideal guy.
30 minute love affair, all in the blink of an eye
There you were standing there, I heard an angel cry
Runaway lover, I soon discovered
It was best when we left it, I'll never forget it
Our 30 minute love affair~
There was nothing that could cure you from the weight of such a heavy, daunting week like a visit to the local bar, especially on this particular Thursday night. Local indie singers performed on the small yet brightly lit stage, a stack of CDs by their feet they were selling for a mere five bucks (in this economy?!), groups of women made their way inside and ordered a string of cocktails without hesitation to take full advantage of the bar’s Ladies Night. The establishment served as one of the few reminders of how vibrant and meaningful life could be, that there was so much more to it than the cycle of eat, sleep, work, and repeat.
As you pushed past the wooden red door, you were greeted by the familiar, lingering smell of cigarettes, alcohol, and sweat. Music was playing through the speakers at a comfortable volume, one waiter was bringing a tray of cocktails for a bachelorette party, while another had a tray of sweet potato fries, onion rings, and loaded nachos for a table of men, who were still in their office clothes, albeit with their shirts slightly unbuttoned and sleeves rolled up their arms.
Tonight, you just wanted to sit by the bar, order a cocktail or two, and maybe strike up a conversation with your favourite bartender but then, someone had caught your eye.
The man was alone at the corner of the bar, nursing what seemed to be a rum and coke in his hands. He stood almost broodingly, with his rose-coloured sunglasses under the dim lights, bleached silver hair, and black leather jacket over a white T-shirt. Even from afar, you could tell he was not a local; he had seamlessly achieved the perfect balance of blending in and standing out. There was something about him that was so magnetic, something that you could not put a finger on.
You snapped yourself out of it and sat down, grabbing the attention of the bartender. You were not the kind of person to walk up to strangers, especially in an alcohol-fuelled environment like the bar. No, you knew better than to cause trouble.
Once you ordered your first drink of the night, you sensed a gaze falling in your direction. It was a gaze of acknowledgement… or maybe even curiosity? It was too distant for you to tell, but as soon as your order was placed on a coaster in front of you, Mr. Mystery Man walked towards the line of stools at the bar, where you sat.
“Sorry to be a bother,” he said, his voice infused with an accent you could not place. “But, can I take a seat here?”
“Hm?” you turned your head, looked up, and there he was standing before you. “Oh, of course you can.”
He sat on the stool beside you, cleared his throat, and… there it was: four seconds of silence, which was enough to make things feel awkward.
“I’m BamBam, by the way,” he spoke up.
He smiled at you, an honest and earnest smile that you have not seen in a while. The effect he had on you was almost instant; without saying another word, you felt more at ease, as if he were not a stranger, but someone special. Was it his presence? Or were you just feeling somewhat lonely lately? Maybe it was a mixture of both? No matter what it was, that initial air of awkwardness was beginning to subside.
You introduced yourself, BamBam said your name was cute, and oh shit… you were blushing and could only hope that he did not notice. “You’re not from here, are you?”
“How can you tell?” BamBam retorted, letting out a little laugh. “Is it my hair?”
“No, it’s that," you said, looking around the bar. “Everyone here is dressed the same, you know? Well, except for that table over there… the rest of us came here still in our work clothes. Maybe you did too, if you were like… some sort of model?”
“Kinda,” he said before taking another sip from his drink. “Not the biggest fan of talking about my job, especially with people like you.”
You raised a curious eyebrow, and saw the immediate panic in his eyes. “I– I didn’t mean it like that.”
“No, I get it,” you reassured him, even though his hesitancy was making you more intrigued. “I don’t like talking to strangers about my job either.”
Therefore, you did not pry any further. The both of you ended up talking about everything under the Sun, laughing your heads off and bonding over the silliest things. All the while BamBam ordered a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon for you to share, and even put your drink on his tab, much to your hesitation. There was something about him that made you feel safe, and you wanted more.
Time flew by, and like clockwork, patrons began to make their way out of the bar. The frat boys disguised as white-collar workers left first, then the bachelorette party stumbled their way out the door, and the singer walked out as well, his guitar case in one hand and a bag of unsold CDs in the other.
BamBam was the first to notice that it was just you, him, and the employees left in the bar. “Oh, shit.”
“What?”
“It’s just us now,” he said before taking one final sip of the wine you managed to finish together and calling the bartender over so he could pay the bill. “Should we get going?”
“Where are we gonna go?”
“I was hoping you would tell me,” he chuckled as he signed the bill and got his credit card back. “I’m not from here, remember?”
As if it were instinct, BamBam took your hand in his when you stood up to leave, the gentle grip he had on your hand was unwavering as you walked out together, clueless on where to go next. All the shops had closed, and your city was not known for having the best nightlife on a Thursday night. You and BamBam started walking down the streets that were lit from the lamp posts above your heads, pausing once in a while for you to tell him a bit more about the little things the city had to offer.
You strolled around for God knew how long; your feet were beginning to ache, nose and cheeks turning red from the cold. Looking at the time, your eyes widened, the bus that was on its way to your neighbourhood was making its last stop in the city in a few minutes, and you were doubtful that you could make it there on time.
“Hey, um,” you said, looking up at BamBam. “I need to make a run for the bus, like ASAP, I’m sorry, I–”
“Taking the bus? At this time?”
“Well, yeah,” you said, eyes darting to the bus stop ahead and back to BamBam. “I don’t have much of a choice.”
“With me, you do,” he declared, taking out his phone. “You’re going home by Uber. It’s too dangerous to go home by bus like this.”
“Wait, wait,” you said, covering his screen with your hand. “You really don’t have to.”
“I want to.”
As much as you were grateful for his offer, you huffed, your hand still on his phone. “Alright, alright, you can call me a cab, but,”
“But?”
“But, not now,” you said, sitting down on the closest bench, finally giving your feet the rest they needed. “The night’s not over yet.”
He sat down beside you, just like how he did in the bar, except there was no space between you and no one else was around; it was just the two of you and the night’s cold breeze.
“Something on your mind?” BamBam asked, as he put his arm around your shoulder.
“It’s nothing.”
“It’s never nothing,” he said, pulling you closer to him. Damn, was he good at comebacks. “So, tell me now or forever hold your peace.”
You sighed, you were not the type to be this vulnerable around people you just met, but BamBam somehow had allowed you to let your guard down in front of him. “I really don’t want this night to end, BamBam.”
He looked down at you. “I really don’t want it to end either. You’re a whole lotta fun to be around.”
“I have this really weird feeling that we won’t be seeing each other again after tonight,” you confessed, resting your head on his shoulder. “I’m not ready to say goodbye.”
“What’s saying tonight’s goodbye is our last?”
“I don’t know,” you sighed. “Time… circumstance? I can’t describe it. What do you think?”
“I like to think we’d meet each other again,” he said, holding you even tighter. “You see me, I see you, and we continue where we left off. Wouldn’t that be nice?”
For a moment, there was silence, but not the awkward silence at the bar. The silence was comforting and the moment felt frozen in time. You could have stayed there for an hour before BamBam looked at you again. “Whether or not we see each other tomorrow, next month, next year, or possibly never,” he started, taking your hand in his. “I’d like to end the night with this.”
BamBam did not give you time to answer as he closed the little space left between you with his lips. Everything inside you went still, no thoughts, no worries about the uncertainties the future would bring. You melted further into the kiss, eyes closed as BamBam enveloped his arms around you.
You were the first to pull away, smiling as you rested your foreheads against each other. “BamBam?”
“Yes?”
“I think I’m ready to go home now.”
He looked at you and understood what you meant instantly, taking out his phone, asking for your address and ordering an Uber, which arrived ten minutes later, and that meant ten extra minutes to spend with BamBam. He gave you one last kiss on the lips before opening the passenger door for you and sending you off. Once the car had disappeared from his sight, he called another Uber to bring him back to his hotel.
You spent the 25 minutes of your trip back home thinking, “Why?”
What you had with BamBam was just one fleeting moment, not meant to be forever. The story of you and him had come to an end the moment he closed the passenger door. You could accept that, but deep down, you knew there had to be a reason why.
Around a week later, when you saw an advertisement promoting an album called Winter Heptagon by a band named GOT7 plastered on the front page of YouTube, your question had been answered.
