#jade centric

“What’s the big idea of hanging up on me?!” Davey’s hands were on his hips, he was almost pouting as Jade came aboard the bus.

“Oh I’m sorry Davey! Are you just now realizing the whole world doesn’t revolve around you?” Jade brushed past him without a second glance.

“For God’s sake, will you two kiss and make up already?!” Hunter scowled. “We have a show in ten hours, now make nice!”

Jade bit back an angry reply and headed to his bunk to try and get a little more sleep. Through the closed curtains he could hear Hunter and Adam laughing and joking as if he weren’t even there, though he was sure they knew he was.

“Dude!! I just heard Davey muttering to himself about how Jade’s wearing the same clothes he left with yesterday!”

“Oooooh! The walk of shame!  So Jade was calling you from his booty call or what?! No wonder he sounded all funny!”

“No shist!! No wonder Davey’s so pissed off! He’s jealous! Aaaaawww! It’s so sweet!!” They finally tired of the gossip and wandered to another part of the bus.

Yeah, Davey, jealous? That would be the day! Jade thought to himself.

By the time they arrived at the gig, Jade was beginning to feel a little bad over how he’d spoken to Davey and hanging up on him and all. He backed off, let Davey have the backstage mirror all to himself, and offered him the last of the throat drops from Hunter. Davey smiled a little sadly and said thank you.

Before they went on Jade decided he’d give Davey one more chance. He wouldn’t shirk the playful advances on stage, he’d try and talk to him afterwards. There was no need for him to be so snide, just because his feelings were hurt.

Besides even though he’d had words with Davey earlier, his experience with Sebastian made him believe anything was possible.

When Davey slithered up next to him during The Lost Souls, Jade leaned over and without warning, took Davey’s earlobe into his mouth. The crowd went berserk!! Flashes from cameras went off everywhere and even those who didn’t catch the infamous “ear in the mouth shot” as it would come to be called, most caught Davey’s look of utter astonishment a split second later. The crowd was uncontrollable from then on.

Within two hours, news of the incident had spread throughout the fan communities on the Internet. The next date was scheduled for the following night at the Arco Arena in Sacramento. The show had sold to 3/4 of the way already, but once the news of the latest on stage antics got out, it instantly sold out completely.

“What the hell happened tonight?” Adam asked as they boarded the bus.

“You don’t see shit back there, do ya?” Laughed Smith, who had been up front handing out water.

“I was on the other side when the cheer went up. What did happen?” Hunter chimed in.

“Jade tried to bite Davey’s ear off!!” Smith laughed.

“I didn’t bite it off, I just sucked on it!!” Jade gasped at his own words. “His EAR!! I sucked on his ear!!” He yelled hastily.

Screams and howls of laughter filled the bus from everyone but Davey, who sat there looking like he didn’t know whether to be angry, amused or confused by it all.

“Yes!!” Hunter screamed. “You’re the man!! You are da man!!” He pretended to punch Jade in the stomach. “Ya gotta kiss him tomorrow night! Ya just got’s ta!!  I wanna see the crowd go nuts!  I wanna see them pee themselves!  Like we were the Beatles and you know they will if you kiss him!!!” Hunter began to dance his way to the back to find something to eat, screeching in an over the top falsetto “I just want your extra time and your . . . . KISS!”

After a while things calmed down and everyone found something to do. Adam borrowed Hunter’s lap top, and Hunter perused a dining guide for Sacramento, looking for vegan and vegetarian fare. Smith was on his cell phone, presumably spreading the word about the pandemonium at the show. This left Davey and Jade, sitting a few seats away from each other, watching the non-existent scenery pass by. Finally Davey got up and sat next to Jade.

“Do you think you could tell me next time, before you freak me out like that?” Davey asked softly.  “That actually….it sort of hurt and it scared the shit out of me because I wasn’t expecting it.  I nearly forgot the next line.”

“Sorry, I was trying to be spontaneous.” Jade shrugged.

“It was that . . .” Davey nodded, pursing his lips, thoughtfully.

“Do you ever miss the old days?” Jade asked, keeping his eyes on the windows where Davey’s reflection was seen more distinctly than the passing electric poles and sparse shrubbery.

“What do you mean? Do I miss never having money, never knowing if the promoter will actually pay us, having to worry whether we’ll be able to scrape up enough money for studio time to finish a song or have enough gas to make it to the next gig? Well, no I can’t say I do.”

“I was thinking of a time when our days weren’t planned down to the minute. When we had time for other things.” Like laying on your bed, half naked and writing songs . . .

“It comes with a price, Jade. You knew that when you signed on.  Maybe you just need to know how to manage your time.”

This wasn’t what Jade meant. He wasn’t trying to ditch his responsibilities, but he was in no mood to argue with Davey.

“I’m sorry for kicking you out of my bunk.”

“What?! When did you kick me out of your bunk?” Davey sounded as if someone had just told him the sky was green.

“The first of the Drowning tour.” Jade’s voice was wistful as he thought back. “I was being selfish, I’m sorry.”

“What the hell, Jade! You still think about that?!” Davey rolled his eyes.

“Guess I’m the only one that does.” Jade mumbled, getting up and heading to his bed alone.

“We just sold out Arco!!” Adam jumped from a corner with a happy grin just as Jade passed. “Thanks to this man right here!” He grabbed Jade and kissed him on the cheek. “Oh, sorry Dave!” Adam put out his hands and backed away as if laughingly expecting he and Dave to come to blows over it.

“Hands off Dave’s property!” Hunter laughed, in between bites of his second vegetable sandwich. “Ya grabby pirate!! Hey! Why doesn’t anyone want to see us kiss or something?”

“Eeeeew! What are you? Sick?” Adam laughed, handing Hunter his laptop and heading back to his bunk, still laughing.

“I think I’m hot!” Hunter mumbled to himself.  “But I get it.  It’s only hot for lesbians, for guys it’s just gross.” “You’re saying Dave is our lesbian?” “Well….yeah!!”  Hunter and Adam continued to banter as Jade walked off.

Jade fell asleep in his bunk, slept on and off until the bus pulled in to the hotel and sleepily everyone found a room.

Adam, Hunter and Davey somehow managed to all get adjoining rooms, but by drawing the shortest straw, Jade’s room was several doors down. Jade was too ticked off and tired to care anyway and didn’t even bother climbing under the covers before he fell asleep again.

“Are you checking our website again, you narcissistic bastard?!” Adam laughed at Hunter the next morning. The doors to everyone’s rooms were opened with guys running from one to the next or just hanging out and bugging one another.

“And really, who could blame me for being so egotistical—!” Hunter stopped suddenly. “Jesus Christ!!”

“Hunter, what’s wrong now! Did they spell your name wrong again?”

“Dave!! I think you need to see this!!” Hunter screamed as Adam leaned in for a closer look.

“Oh my god!! I told you!! You owe me $50! Pay up, punk!!”

As pictures flashed before them on the screen, Adam’s face  lost all it’s mirth. “When were they together like that? Where were we in all this?! When were those taken?!”

“Dude! Look closer! I don’t even think that’s Davey!!”

“Oh shit!!”

“I’m hearing my name screamed and the words “you’re so sexy!” aren’t following it!! What’s up?” Davey laughed, coming into the room.

**************

“Jade!!” Davey screamed, loud enough for everyone in the entire floor to hear as he ran down the hallway and beat on the door. “Get out here, now!” It took a few minutes as Jade finished getting dressed.

A bit later Jade’s door opened and he stuck his head out, still looking sleepy.

Davey grabbed him by the arm and practically dragged him back down the hall and into the room where everyone was at. By the way everyone stared at him, Jade knew he was in some kind of very big trouble, though he couldn’t fathom what it possibly could have been.

“Explain yourself!! Explain this!! What the fuck!??” Davey screamed again, pointing to Hunter’s laptop which sat open on the hotel table. Jade blinked and tried to focus. When it hit him what he was looking at, his stomach dropped into this shoes.

There he was, in living color, outside the hotel with Sebastian. And there they were, saying their goodbyes, kissing, licking, hands in each other’s hair. And Sebastian looked exactly like Davey. Identical. He had long sleeves on so no one could tell there were no tattoos up and down his arms, he had the lip ring, he had the Monroe, the black nails, the dark hair, the identical makeup. Jade began to feel like he was going to throw up. He fell into the closest chair that sat unoccupied in front of the table.

“Hit the slide show, Hunter.” Davey demanded.

Hunter hit a button on the computer and the photos began to flash in rapid succession, like a lurid picture show, there had to be at least 15 shots of them. Jade blinked, his head reeling. It was then he looked down to see the logo at the bottom of the screen: www.AFireInside.Net. Someone had posted them directly to their own web page.

“Who—who did this?!” Jade looked back up and around the room, fighting down the nausea that was threatening to overtake him.

“You did Jade!! You did this to me! You did it to the band!!” Davey screamed, lower lip trembling. “What do you think people think of us now? Huh? Some Straight Edge poster boys we are!! And it’s not even me, but look!” He pointed to the screen as the images continued to click away. “Look behind his ears!!” Davey hit a button on the computer and the images stopped.

The angle was taken behind Sebastian, Jade had his hair pulled back, revealing the small black heart behind his ear.

“Nobody in their right mind won’t believe it! Won’t believe what’s right in front of their eyes! Of all the men you could choose to practically fuck in public and you choose my doppleganger!? What the hell is wrong with you!?”

“I didn’t----We didn’t know— I didn’t know we were being watched!!”  But this was a lie and Jade knew it.  They had hoped they were being watched, they wanted to be watched.  Jade had not cared. He had courted it and now here it was.

“If you wanna ruin your own reputation, fine, but how dare you ruin mine!!” Davey was beginning to cry tears of absolute rage. Behind him, Adam reached out to put a hand on his shoulder, looking past him to Jade in sheer malice.

“Being seen with me ruins your reputation?? Ruins this band?!” Jade screamed back, jumping up from his chair. “Fuck you!! Fuck all of you!!” He whirled around, staring down everyone, including Smith before returning his attention to Davey.

“I have been in love with you every day of my life for YEARS! And everyone in this room knows it!! You talk about it!!” He glared at Adam, then Hunter. “You laugh about it behind my back! It’s a big inside joke! It’s a gimmick to sell records and sell tickets to our shows!!” Jade was now screaming at the top of his lungs. He turned to Hunter, mocking. “Oh Jade! Make a play for Davey tonight, and give the girls in the front row a thrill!” Hunter sank a little lower in his seat. “You wanna know what they talk about on the internet after one of our shows?! You wanna know what they remember?”

Hunter stood up and was about to open his mouth to speak.

“Don’t even open your mouth!!” Jade snapped and Hunter closed it again, stepping back. “They don’t talk about my solos, they don’t talk about the music! They talk about whether Davey tried to kiss me or not! How do you think that makes me feel? The very deepest desires of my heart -----!” Jade couldn’t catch his breath. “Part of our stage show !! The sick and twisted thing is, I wouldn’t have really minded except for the fact that it’s not even real!! Do you have any idea what it’s like to work so hard for so long and have it all be for absolutely nothing?!”

Jade wasn’t sure if he was even talking about his career with the band or his relationship with Davey, somehow it fit for both.   “He doesn’t love me!  He has all you morons fooled.  He doesn't even fucking like me!  I’m just a ...a..coworker!  I’m just way to make us more money! I’m someone he gets paid to hang out with.  He can’t stand the sight of me otherwise!”

“Jade, I–!” Davey began.

“No!!” Jade cut him off. “It’s a joke to you?! It’s something that gets speculated about on the Internet because you don’t discourage it! It’s my life! It’s my heart! I could never have you! I knew I could never have you! Like I was ever good enough! So I had the next best thing-----once! Yeah I fucked him, and I didn’t do it in public and I pretended it was you every single second! One time in six years and fuck you for judging me for it!!”

Tears were beginning to trickle down the sides of Jade’s face, but he didn’t seem to notice.

“Being seen with me ruins your reputation?! You never thought that when you were pawing and groping and kissing all over me during every gig and photo session in the last six years!! What the hell was I to you? A prop? A blow up doll?! I loved you so much I didn’t even know who I was without you! Well I know who I am now!” Jade pulled at his collar until the button tore off and grabbed at his tie as if it were choking him, flinging it to the floor. “A worthless clown in an ugly pink tie who is easily replaced!!” He pulled at the black choker he wore around his neck until it broke, all the while glaring at Davey, who stood there in tears, too shocked to try and argue. “It’s over! Find someone else who'll waste their entire lives loving you only to get NOTHING in return!! Find someone's else who's that stupid! Find someone else who will let every desire of his heart be splashed across every photo we've ever taken! Find someone else who's so easily used! Find someone else to love you and defend you and stand by you no matter what! FIND ANOTHER GUITARIST!!” Jade screamed as he whirled around and ran from the room, leaving a stunned silence in his wake.

For a while no one spoke, finally Davey took a trembling step forward.

“I–I should go after him.”

“We’ll go!” Hunter stepped up, aware Davey already looked like he was seconds away from collapsing.

“Yeah Dave, we’ll go get him. You stay here.” Smith offered.

“But it’s my fault . ..” Davey wiped his face, shaking from head to toe.

“We’ll get him back here and you can talk to him then. You’ll talk, you’ll make up, it’ll all be okay.” Adam put an arm around Davey’s trembling shoulders. “Stay here, call and get those pictures deleted. Maybe think of making some kind of statement. Okay? You do that and we’ll go find Jade.”

Davey nodded and patted Adam’s hand before grabbing the phone and falling heavily on the bed.

“Oh my god, my god this can’t be happening/God tell me, tell me this isn’t real/I can’t believe all that I have foreseen is finally happening/I cannot for a single second stand the way I feel/I always knew/I always saw it coming/Enveloped now/encased by my worst fear/I've never felt the nausea of longing to feel nothing I never wanted to cease to exist/just disappear/Fear memories are all that lie ahead/Never have I felt so lost.(Memories dull my senses/Fear tragedy is all that lies ahead./Never have I felt so dead/Once felt so warm/now I'm fucking freezing.

I am the once embraced abandoned one. I raised my eyes up to the light in hopes of finding healing; no relief was mine/I was burnt, by the sun.”

Jade hit the hotel lobby doors at a dead run, crying so hard he could barely see what was around him. It was over, it was done. What was it called? Professional Suicide? His ten year career was now suddenly over. No more bands, no more music, ever. He was never even touching a guitar again.

With each corner he came to, he turned a different direction, left, then right, then left again, backing up at dead ends, running down sidewalks, across streets, and through alleys until he himself was so lost, he was sure no one else could possibly find him on purpose.

On a nearly empty street he found an abandoned store front and sank to the ground in the doorway. He felt for his pockets–had he brought anything with him? No. Not so much as a handful of change. Didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. He would just sit and wait. Wait until later, find his way back to the hotel and sneak in his room. What did he really need out of all his possessions? His wallet, socks, underwear, maybe another shirt. That was it. They could keep the rest, he would never need those things again.

For the next several hours, Jade lived like one of the homeless, looking for anywhere that might have a water fountain, a public restroom, or just a place to get out of the sun for a little while. As much as he complained of being too busy, having so much time and nothing to do now seemed invariably worse.

Two hours later the guys returned, each dreading having to tell Davey they could not find Jade. Adam and Hunter elected to do it while Smith went to make some phone calls. It as approaching noon, their sound check was in a mere three hours.

Davey looked up, his expression crumbling as he saw only 2 people in the doorway and neither looked like Jade.

“Sorry Dave.” Adam sat down next to his friend, who was still in his pajamas. “Give him some time to be by himself and think. He’ll come back.”

“I didn’t know . . . I kinda did. . . I guess I did . . . I just thought he’d tell me when he was ready . . . or something . ..” Davey’s voice trailed off.

“We’re sorry Davey.” Hunter sat down on the other side of Davey, leaning his head on the dark hair that spilled down his shoulder. Davey only mumbled sadly.

“They deleted the pictures.” He said, almost to himself. “I gave an apology, mainly for me, but for all of us I guess. ‘Sorry if the pictures offended you, I don’t know what they were except that they weren’t me.’ Sounded lame as hell.” Davey sniffled. “What do we say if he doesn’t come back at all?”

“We’ll worry about that if it happens, and we are all here for you Dave.” Said Adam.

“But there’s no one there for Jade.” Davey sighed, wiping his eyes.

Just then Smith came in.“Just talked to Lars.”

“Huh?” Davey asked, looking up.

“He’s on his way.”

“What?”

“Lars is coming in on the next flight, just in case Jade doesn’t come back in time. You do remember we have a gig tonight?”

“We can’t go on without Jade.”

“Hopefully we won’t have to.” Adam sighed.

“Just in case, we’re covered.” Smith shrugged.

“Lars is on his way?” Davey repeated, dumbfounded. “You just called and he came? What did you tell him?”

“Told him Jade got his panties in a bunch over something. I didn’t tell him what or why.” Smith added hastily when he was how he was being glared at by everyone.

“Look, if anyone knows him, it’s me. This band is his life. He’ll come around.”

Lars arrived just in time for the sound check and sat in. While Davey was profusely grateful, he was still so upset and worried, he longed to call off the gig entirely.

With less than four hours until the arena doors opened, this was simply not an option. As time ticked down, Davey went back and forth between his room and the outside of Jade’s, hoping to catch, if not Jade himself, then at least a phone call from him. Finally though it was time to leave for the venue.

Though he tried not to show how worried he was, everyone knew, even Lars. The show ended up being more of a somber occasion than a celebration. Most of the fans seemed happy to see Lars, even those who obviously had no idea who he was. It was only a short time though before a chant of “Where’s Jade?” began. Davey told the fans Jade had the flu and lost his voice on top of it. His obvious remorse lent authenticity to the story and it was not questioned, though it was greeted with some boos.

Around 7:45 Jade found his way back to the hotel, sunburned, hungry and exhausted, but rest and comfort would have to wait. The desk clerk remembered him and gave him an extra room key without question. He obviously looked like he’d had a hard enough day to have forgotten his key in the room like he said.

Once inside he looked at all the things he simply couldn’t live without the day before. He quickly located his wallet and changed his clothes. On the bed he tossed his ties, his rings, and bandannas. On top of this he piled anything he had that came with an AFI logo. At the bottom of all the things that fell to the floor was another copy of Guitar Legends.

Angrily he grabbed it, tearing the cover off and tearing it in half. He wished he had the time to decimate the entire issue. What joke! No one cared. He tossed the magazine on top of everything else. He located a small bag and dumped everything from the smallest bag he owned, putting inside underwear, socks, the least flashy of his shirts, toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo . . .

He looked at his make up bag, considering it carefully. He finally decided to take it after wasting too much time deciding. By this time he figured it would be better not to call for a flight and just show up at the airport.

Shouldering the bag that was ten times lighter than he was used to, he looked back one last time on all the possessions piled on the bed, wishing he could just set fire to the whole thing. With a heavy heart he turned away and pulled the door until it appeared to close and went to check out.

In the taxi Jade checked his wallet and found more cash than he’d expected since he hadn’t eaten all that day and little the day before.

“Hey, could you take me to the Arco Arena before we go to the airport?” He asked the driver. “Just wanna see what kind of crowd the concert tonight drew.”

“Whatever you want, pal.”

Wonder if they did the show without me? He thought as he watched the city lights zoom past his window. Twenty minutes later, the full parking lot told him all he needed to know.

“Oh I have an encore for you, maybe not quite as good, but some plans I think you’ll like now that I know I have you all to myself for the night.”

“Okay,” Jade pulled the sheets up over them both as the sweat on his body began to cool him off quite rapidly.

“First I shall put you in the shower, scrub you from head to toe and wash your hair, then I will wrap you up in a nice, fluffy towel, take you back out here and give you a back rub, then I shall find some kind of sustenance for you to nosh on while I change our sheets, and then we shall sleep the sleep of children who have exhausted themselves from too much playtime. What do you think?”

“What have I done to deserve all that?” Jade laughed, delightedly.

“Why do you feel like you have to do something to justify someone being nice to you?” Sebastian took his hand and bit gently on the tips of Jade’s calloused fingers. “What did you do? You existed. You made music and had the courage to be exactly who you are with no apologies. You, Jade Puget, were born. You live.  And right now you’re going through hell and damn it, you deserve someone taking care of you.  That’s enough.”

“Wow . . .” Jade was nearly speechless. “That was beautiful. I don’t know what to say.”

“Tell me if you’re able to stand up and walk, and if you are, we’ll go get cleaned up.”

“I think so.” Jade struggled to sit up.

The only thing he did not like about the bathroom was the brightness that assaulted his eyes from all directions. Bright white tile gleamed and shattered the dreamy mood the dim room behind him had just conjured as the sun sank into the horizon. The shower was turned on and after the water heated, he and Sebastian stepped inside.

Sebastian immediately positioned himself behind Jade, getting a loofah sponge and saturating it with shower gel.

Slowly he began rubbing it in circles up and down Jade’s back, across his shoulders and down his arms. Jade sighed happily, the hot water feeling exquisite on his skin and the motions of the sponge was almost enough to lull him to sleep. He leaned a hand on the white tiled wall, yawning as Sebastian scrubbed his legs and ankles.

“Lean your head back and close your eyes.” Jade stretched and yawned again, the closing his eyes part would be very easy. “Close them tight, don’t want any shampoo getting into luminous eyes of yours.” Sebastian slid right up behind him, skin gliding against wet skin, having to stand on his tip toes and lean into Jade to properly wash Jade’s hair. Jade was instantly awake again.

“Have you ever had sex in here?” Jade asked, only half joking.

“That’s the advanced class!” Sebastian laughed, massaging Jade’s scalp with his long nails. “I’m just a beginner.”

“Didn’t feel like it earlier.” Jade nodded to the bedroom and reached back, running a slick hand down the side of Sebastian’s thigh.

“You’re sweet.” Sebastian leaned in to kiss and lick the center of Jade’s back. “And sweet tasting as well. Now stand back under the water so I can rinse this out and no opening your eyes until I say.” Sebastian’s long fingers tickled through Jade’s hair, working out the lather.

“Better than a salon.” Jade sighed as Sebastian began to rub conditioner into the wet strands. Finally Jade couldn’t stand the touching anymore without reciprocating. Carefully he turned around and brought his lips down on Sebastian’s as the water cascaded down on the both of them. Jade opened his eyes. For all the rushing water, the dark eyeliner still clung to the corners of Sebastian’s eyes and the mascara and lip liner remained as well. Jade slid a hand up to caress the adoring face that peered up at him.

“Can I, um, “ Jade was suddenly embarrassed. “Can I remove the rest of your make up?” He’d always wanted to do that with Davey, take a warm cloth and gently remove all the traces of make up from his perfect face. It seemed like it would be kinda sexy. No one came in between Davey and his make up though, and Jade never had the guts to ask.

“You really want to see me without anything on?” Sebastian raised an eyebrow, not realizing how ridiculous this sounded since they both stood there naked.

“I think you’d look beautiful without anything on.” Jade smiled, letting the hand travel into Sebastian’s thick, soaking wet hair. He pulled it back a bit and stared. Behind his ear, Sebastian had a small black heart tattooed.

Exactly the same place as Davey’s. It was almost enough to send Jade spiraling into another wave of lost memories.

“Nice,” he mumbled to himself, fighting to stay in the present.

Sebastian reached over to the shower rack and opened a small box of cleansing cloths, handing one to Jade. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back and Jade tenderly coasted the cloth across his eye lids and underneath to his cheeks and lips. As each area was cleaned of cosmetics,

Jade placed a delicate kiss there, just as he’d longed to do with Davey.

Though Sebastian did look a little different without make up, he still had the thin, pale lips, big brown eyes and ghostly skin. To Jade, he was still beautiful. Jade smiled approvingly and leaned back to rinse the rest of the conditioner from his hair.

Minutes later they were wrapped in towels and Jade was on his stomach on the bed as Sebastian rubbed, kneaded and caressed his back and shoulders. It was as if his fingers knew exactly where to go, drawing out each individual muscle strand and pulling, rubbing, and pressing until a warm relaxation worked it’s way deep into Jade’s body.

When he was done, he simply lowered himself on top of Jade, resting his head on the back of Jade’s neck, his arms on Jade’s arms. Jade sighed contentedly, enjoy the feel of the weight on him and the warmth of Sebastian’s skin on his own.

“So what do you feel like eating, love?”

“Whatever happens to be right on top of me will do fine!” Jade smiled.

“Seriously, you should have something to eat, give you something to do while I change the sheets.”

“I don’t even feel hungry honestly.”

“Are you sure you don’t want anything before we go to bed? I have chocolate soy milk.” Sebastian smiled enticingly as he rolled off Jade, pulling him up from the bed.

“You’ve been waiting for me, haven’t you?”

“Only my whole life.”

Later, after milk and a cookie or two, Sebastian stretched over Jade to turn out the light, when he could have easily done it himself. He simply wanted to take advantage of any excuse there was to touch him, and knew their time together was running out.

“You know,” He whispered in the darkness. “I know I’m just an imitation, but I do hope it works out for you and the real thing. If it doesn’t though,” He slipped an arm around Jade’s waist, laying his head on his chest.

“Please promise me you’ll take care of yourself. I know you love him, but there’s a whole other world out there too. Try not to lose hope about everything. I know it’s hard, especially when you love someone so much.”

“Yeah, it is. I’ll try, for you. Thank you, you’ll never know what this meant to me.”

“It was my honor and my pleasure and if I do nothing with my life from this day forward I will know I did something grand. Probably small to you, but grand to me, and it is something I will never forget. It was my pleasure to help.”

“It wasn’t small,” Jade chuckled to himself. “It was the world on a string to me and I thank you. Good night.”

A new day dawned hours later and Jade Puget felt like a new man. It was funny how far a little love, attention and genuine affection could go. Sebastian loaned him what little make up he could use, not caring much for the colors the young man had chosen, and even let him have the bedroom dresser mirror first, while Sebastian used a small corner of it for himself later on. The mirror was big enough for the both of them, but Jade was amused that Sebastian wanted to sit back and watch him put everything on first.

“Wonder if there’s any paparazzi or fangirls around here.” Jade mused as they walked hand and hand back to the Jade’s hotel, which was quite a ways away, though neither seemed to mind the long walk. “We both look so good, and you do need a souvenir of your adventure!”

“Are you sure, I mean . . . we don’t want to end up in the Enquirer or something!” Sebastian laughed, swinging their arms as he went.

“I’m not ashamed to be seen with you! Why would I be!? I left my phone but there’s gotta be a photo booth or something here somewhere. I want to give you something to remember me by.”

“Oh trust me I have plenty!” Sebastian felt his neck. “But I’d never refuse the offer of a handsome stranger.”

“Not a stranger after last night.”

“What new friends will the day bring? One for one thousand acquainted . . .” Sebastian smiled as he sang, blushing slightly.

“You are just a singing fool aren’t you?”

“Sweet Jade, oh my sweet sweet Jade,” Sebastian continued to sing, knowing this was his last chance to do so. “Heavenly widening roses, seem to whisper to me, when you smile.”

“How do you find so many songs about me?” Jade laughed.

“I find songs about a girl named Jane and then I make it about you.  Do I sound like a stalker?”

“Ah, clever and beautiful! And you’re my stalker so it’s okay.” Jade sighed as they finally

found an arcade with a souvenier photo booth. They took three sets of pictures, each keeping one and splitting the third. It was getting late though and they caught a cab to the hotel. “Walk me up.” Jade insisted, pulling Sebastian out with him.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course.”

Outside the hotel doors, they stopped to say their goodbyes, but one kiss turned into several, and the kisses got more deep and more passionate with each touch.

“Uh, Jade! Baby! This is your hotel, maybe we shouldn’t–!  You were making jokes about the fan girls but you know there are some here--”

“Fuck ‘em!” Jade mumbled, gripping Sebastian’s hair in both his hands as they kissed.

“Keep this up and you’ll have to take me on tour with you.” Sebastian teased.

“Wish I could.” Jade grabbed Sebastian and pulled him inside, borrowing a pen and paper from the desk clerk.

“Keep this and get a hold of me sometime.” He presented the paper to Sebastian. Gently Sebastian took Jade’s hand, pressing it back to him without taking the paper.

He finally found the clarity to speak, rolling back and pulling Sebastian close up against him.

“Sebastian,” Jade’s voice was soft, wavering. “Did I hurt you?”

He couldn’t remember Sebastian being anything but willing. Still . . .it felt like he was waking up from a coma, his orgasm had been that strong, the release that overwhelming.

The dark strands swayed as he raised his head, not looking up as he spoke.

“I’m not plaster, I won’t break.”

To Jade, this was as good as saying “Yes, you did.” Without any warning, even to himself, Jade began to cry.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to! I swear! I’m sorry Sebastian! I shouldn’t have come home with you!  This whole thing, it was wrong!  I am so sorry!”

Sebastian slid his hands up to brush over Jade’s cheek, raising himself until they were face to face.

“Jade! You didn’t hurt me! If you’d really hurt me do you think I’d be here, laying in the protection of your arms?”

Jade couldn’t imagine his skinny arms protecting anyone.

“Sebastian, I’m sorry . ..” He wrapped his arms around the young man again, holding him close. “I didn’t mean for it go so badly.”

“I know who I am to you. It’s okay Jade! That is why I am here, please understand that! I understand that.  It’s fine. You can even call me his name if you’d like. I won’t mind, I just want to make you happy! And it wasn’t bad!  Being with you could never be anything but wonderful to me.”

“It’s not right!”   Jade mumbled, voice still shaking, words coming in stuttering gulps. “It’s sick and twisted and wrong!  I used you!  I don’t even know you!  Why are you letting me do this to you?!”

“What are you doing to me other than making me feel like a god among men and the luckiest person alive?” Sebastian cupped Jade’s face in his long, delicate hands. “My sweet,  wonderful, stunning man. Tell me, what he did to you? What did he do that’s hurt you so?”

“He doesn’t love me! He’ll never love me!!” Sobs wracked Jade’s body as he gasped his confession and pressed his face against the warm hands that surrounded him, seeking shelter as his darkest secret and worst fear was revealed..

Sebastian pulled him tightly into his arms, allowing Jade to press his wet face into his neck and cry against him.

“I wasted half my life loving him! What is wrong with me?!”

“I am so sorry.” Sebastian whispered, running his hands into Jade’s hair. “No one should ever have to hurt like that, especially not someone as beautiful as you. He is stupid and blind not to see how beautiful you are.” Jade tried to answer, but it was muffled against Sebastian’s skin.

“Jade, if it hurts that much, you need to let it go and look after yourself. I know you love him but you have to think of yourself too. Have you tried to talk to him about it?”

“We don’t talk like we used to.” Jade sniffled.

“Well, maybe try one more time and he doesn’t come around, then damn it Jade! There are so many other people out there who love you! You’re better than that and down deep you know it. I know this is easy for me to say, being on the outside, but it’s never too late to just start over.”

Jade nodded.“Sorry for kinda . . . taking over earlier.” He felt himself blush.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. You won’t hear a word of complaint from me.” Sebastian leaned down to nuzzle against Jade’s neck, his touch having a calming effect on the redhead.

“You know what you said about just laying back and letting you take care of me?”  Jade asked after a while.  Something inside him had broken wide open and in it’s wake he felt, loopy, drunk, as if nothing he did now had any consequence so anything was possible.

“Yes!” Sebastian pulled back, grinning broadly.

“I think I’m ready to try it your way, but . . . do you have a phone? I need to find out what time we’re leaving tomorrow.”

“Does this mean you want to spend the night?” Sebastian’s eyes glimmered with delight.

“If you’ll have me.”

“Make that phone call quick and I’ll show you how I can have you, my silly boy!” Sebastian reached under the bed and pulled out his landline.   Jade dialed the hotel and asked for Hunter’s room as Sebastian pulled the sheets away from his naked body.

“Hey Hunter, what time do we pull out tomorrow?”

“Oh, it’s way too early to talk about pulling out, doll!” Sebastian giggled.

“Oh shut up!” Jade laughed. “No! Not you, Hunter! What do you mean where have I been? Not like anyone wanted me around . . . oh! Hee-hee-hee-hee!” Sebastian’s tongue was drawing circles around Jade’s navel. “No! I am not out drunk somewhere, you’re thinking of yourself—!”

“You’ll be drunk on my kisses as soon as you hang up that phone!” Sebastian whispered in Jade’s other ear, just as Hunter gave him the information he needed.

“Hee-hee-hee-hee—oh! I’m sorry, could repeat that, did you say nine?”

“Mine? You are indeed mine!” Sebastian growled, biting at Jade’s neck.

“No! Don’t put Dave on, I don’t care to—!” At the sound of Davey’s voice, Jade hung up the phone.

“What a pity!” Sebastian laughed. “And I so wanted to say hello!” He appeared to pout until Jade pulled him down on top of his lean, tanned body. “Not!!”