If Vash the Stampede lived in a world that fought with swords rather than guns.

@jaclcfrost​: good responses to being stabbed with a sword (part 2)

oh no I’m allergic

it sword of seems like you’ve got a problem with me

laughter. not the word “laughter,” just. laughing

sure it’s the thought that counts and i appreciate the sentiment but does this gift come with a receipt

you wound me. literally. you just. actually wounded me. that thing is really sharp. so you. don’t even look at me like that, they can’t all be winners.

wouldn’t it have been hilarious if i just flew back like balloons do when you pop ‘em? can you even imagine? god. just. do it again, pretend the first time didn’t happen. come on, please

honorable mentions:

grabbing the sword by the blade, pulling it out, handing it to them, and saying “you dropped this”

that’s unfortunate

it could be worse

this isn’t really how i pictured my day going when i woke up this morning, but who am i to complain

To be honest, some of these would work in actual Gunsmoke, too, such as:

1, 3 (I can hear Vash’s laughter now), 4, 5 with the reference to sharpness removed, and all the honorable mentions (just remove the bullet instead of the blade)

Gilda: Rude.

Ray: That's fair.

Emma: Not again-

Don:

that’s great, but now you know my secret and i think that means you have to die or something