a bunch of j/ohn w/ick headcanons that i'm bringing from my old blog :
he is Crunchy . gets up , knees crack . elbows pop . fingers . wrists . back . neck . yk
survives on coffee & bourbon . that's his breakfast ( after jw1 at least ) . coffee levels : pe/dro pas/cal infamous star/bucks order
john has no photo albums or other tangible memories of his youth , up until he met helen in his mid - to - late 30s . he’s got one album , photographs of a fake life for an undercover mission gone wrong way before he turned to mercenary work ( early - to - mid 20s ) .
most of his prized possessions have to do with either 1 . promises kept by fellow assassins to help him in times of need , or 2 . his life after meeting helen .
he learned all living like a human skills from helen . fix things around their home , using public transportation , cooking , etc .
dogs . DOGS . he loves dogs . he doesn't need to impress them . he's not self - conscious around them . one introvert who relies on dogs to survive what about it
he needs structure / authority to live . it's the way he's wired . too bad that he defies it over and over and over by fucking with the high table
ballet training . have you seen him take down people with only his LEGS
he does not have a phone anymore , doesn't plan on owning one , and social media is Terrifying and he's deeply against it
he is precise by nature . his training bleeds out on the silliest of habits - a tidy home where everything is exactly where he needs it to be . function is his priority . he's good with cooking & even baking , he takes cares of clothing for years on end as well as most trinkets . it's pathological . except when he's falling off buildings , stairs or throwing cars at people
he speaks ... so many languages . too many perhaps . too bad he never speaks
left handed king . ambidextrous when it comes to weaponry . when he had a normal life , john handwrote a LOT . specially about the books he's read . he had graphite stains smeared on the side of his palm quite often
when he was a tiny ru/ska syndicate boy , he glared from the back of the class in silence . it's his thing
nsfw headcanon . SIKE , HE'S TOO DEPRESSED TO FUCK ! or is he
music nerd & car nerd . smuggling old records into the ru/ska syndicate was his only way to let loose after intensive hours of training , and it always stuck with him . he's not a music player , but an avid listener .
he is hard of hearing . lost it on his right ear a little
he used tiny old man glasses to read . if you show him something on your phone , he'll put it real far .
he's a horse girl . we been knew
100% sure he told helen he was an accountant before they started dating
i'm a total advocate of the "j/ohn w/ick is a femme fatale" cause
his only reason to live , survive , is to grief . to remember the woman he lost . 'cause he's not sure he's going to heaven to see her again . fear of damnation , baby
he was a homeless child who grew & survived thanks to ru/ska ro/ma syndicate . he hides his personal belongings in a russian folktales book . this isn't a headcanon , it's in the movies . i just wanted to point it out 'cause it makes me cry
