#iwrote

I'm in great need of your help.

After graduating in May this year, I couldn't help but feel lost. I didn't know what I wanted/needed to do next. Though this may sound ridiculous, it still affects me, horribly.

And so, if there's anyone of y'all who has gone through, or is going through the same situation, pls reach out and share your experience. I think that would ease the burden a bit.

‏میں جب اوسان اپنے کھونے لگتا ہوں تو ہنستا ہوں

میرے لب پہ جو نا آسکی ، تو وہ بات بن کے رہ گیا

Antes de sair, vi que minha irmã se preparava para lavar a sua roupa, peguei três calças recém trazidas do alfaiate e pedi para que que as lavasse. Ela negou. Insisti! Disse que era para a ir à igreja. Sorriu de leve e aceitou.

Sorriu igual minha mãe — hoje — quando ela voltou pra casa e perguntou se eu tinha ido à igreja. Respondi que sim e me levantei de seguida. Não estava disposto para um novo sermão sobre importância de frequentar à igreja. Nada que um discidente que retoma depois de um ano não saiba. Mas minha mãe estava feliz, e isso me deixou satisfeito. Talvez assim ela pare de se preocupar um pouquinho com a minha vida de merda.

Num segundo me vi deitado sobre o mar, as ondas me levavam para a areia e me traziam de volta. Cansado e com água entrando em todos os buracos do meu corpo nu. Nesse segundo percebi que se deixar levar pela vontade alheia é fatal. Mata. Primeiro emburrece, fragiliza e no final, te joga para fora, te reduz a nada, te mata.

Minha mãe deve ter entendido que durante esse ano que ignorei os pedidos dela, eu só estava a fazer a minha vontade. Mas não era minha vontade que fosse visitar meu primo seis meses depois dele ter nascido, era meu orgulho, minha insistência pela negação ao fracasso, pela fuga à conversa a volta dos estudos com os meus tios, pelas suas reclamações à minha ausência… Pela manutenção dessa falsa sensação de paz.

"In which a character concept leads me to call myself out on some internalised sexism. Also what happens when my brain demands writing over sleep.

Crosspost from https://marsden-online.dreamwidth.org/1035660.html

So one of the side effects of being a temporally challenged DM/Player is that I often have stray character backgrounds and worldbuilding ideas running around in my head. This one is currently not letting me get the sleep that Covid recovery is demanding of me, so I'm going to inflict it on all of you.

Scene: a group of adventurers sharing background stories]

"So I had a comfortable upbringing you know, wealthy and important family, indulged in pretty much anything I wanted while being prepared for my eventual role in the family empire. When I came of age the suitors also started calling, and that's all I expected, a comfortable marriage suiting both family's business interests.

My most persistent suitor was also someone I thought was a real jackass, you know? And there's a history of bad blood between our kin. Then it turned out they had been quietly challenging any other suitor who seemed to be gaining my favour and either maiming and forcing them to leave the city as a condition for their life or outright killing them.

So I challenged the evil [spits] myself, in public with the proof, and when they condescendingly refused my challenge I ran them straight through their hateful little heart.

So that's how my family ended up owning their family the cost of a Raising and I ended up exiled until I pay my family back. Which is proving harder than I thought, because there's a lot of people out here who need that treasure more than my family."

Unsurprisingly there's a lot that hits my high points as a DM looking at player background here. Firstly there's some very clear reasons why the character is out adventuring and why that goal might be hard to accomplish. Bonus points for a treasure sink which isn't going to destabilise the local economy.

There are connections to other parts of the world: possibly-mixed loyalties to a family trading business, a potential rival or nemesis, a tendency to get involved with the less well off; all of which could be drawn on for story hooks or provide resources the character might turn to but only by advancing that aspect of the story. These aren't presented in a way where they have to feature immediately or regularly. (If I really want that level of connection, I'll mention it before character creation).

And while good at heart [I would expect that their] actions are going to be strongly influenced by growing up with - a legal system which they were mostly immune to and - where duelling (fantasy staple anyway) may or may not be formally acceptable but happens (especially given) - the standard fantasy RPG availability of healing and even death-reversing magic to those wealthy enough exists, ... in a way which may well lead them into conflict with the laws and customs of the cultures they now find themselves in.

Finally this is a character that can function not only in the dungeon but also at some level of society. (In the general case it doesn't have to be /high/ society, but some people skills, please).