Mar 12, 2020
I love it when you break your computer by mistake after throwing your phone from getting a random out burst of emotions. Whoops π€·πΌββοΈ
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I love it when you break your computer by mistake after throwing your phone from getting a random out burst of emotions. Whoops π€·πΌββοΈ
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So, this particular post has been making its rounds for a while, and every time I see it, I keep going through it. July 2 - human illusionist. I kept thinking to myself: that's fucking bullshit. There's a set up available for a centaur sky pirate, and my birthday gives me "human illusionist"? Fuck no. But I was feeling rather moody today, and I stumbled upon it again on Tumblr. Repeat cycle of social media angst. I started thinking a little more about it. Human. Illusionist. Human. The only normal thing on the list of possible races, and how often have I lamented the fact that I am nothing more than purely average? There are winners; there are losers, and there are people who just exist. I am thoroughly the third. Illusionist. Someone who's very abilities are meant to hide, disguise, camouflage, and mirage anything they want to those observing. And that, too, is painfully accurate. How often do I obfuscate my feelings, my thoughts, my perspective on a situation? "I'm fine" is my motto as anyone who knows me will testify. Very few, and fewer every day, know the truth of my heart and mind. So, yeah, sometimes, just sometimes, stupid things but a little too close to home. I need to turn my mind off...
Hurt me with flowers
Pluck my pretty petals child. Peel away at my beauty, That I so desperately try to keep. Strip me of which I hide myself in, Tear away my child, Tear it all away, Till I lay there bare and virgin. Yes but my virginity isn't the purest of saints, Behind my petal is a petrified child. An offspring with fangs, Vile, sicken, putrid, ominous and confused. Wasn't this the face you wanted to see? Try putting the petals back my child, See if that will work, See if I can hurt you.
:( Idk what to do
So like, my parents don't get depression. Sometimes they do and sometimes they look at me with so much disgust and resentment, I shut down. I too look at myself with resentment and disgust. I too think that depression is petty and an excuse that I use to get away with being a genuinely horrible and worthless human. But some part of me,somewhere deep down inside,I want to be able to look at the mirror without crying,I want to be able to smile at a camera flash,I want to be like those other,Normal people. Other parts of me, just stop trying to do anything at all. And I'm afraid,that someday,even that small part will stop trying,and my entire being will give up. This feeling? Of being trapped in my own skin? I wish I could just tell it to go away, because it's 'nothing'. But Mom, it is. It IS a lot of things. Things I can't explain and things that trap me. Things I just can't escape because they live within me.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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My feelings right now. #feelings #emotions #perfect #perfection #textagram #hatemyself #different #iwishiwasnormal
I'm a sick person
And it's all in my head and it scares the living fuck out of me.
Been in this hospital 8 days earning my stripes (duh I am a #sicklecellwarrior) and I'm still keep in' it cute even though I'm at my worst .... π , I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired π !! If you look good then you feel good *shrugs* well at least I do π #teamsicklecell #sicklecellsucks #sicklecelldiaries #selfie #darkskingal #nopainintheplayroom #iwishiwasnormal (at UF Health Cancer Center Orlando)