#iwbsts

Hi!! Thank you so much!! And AHHHHHH YES THE ALCHEMIST!! I hope you enjoyed it!!

So, with IWBSTS, the thing is... I'm really proud of that fic, and it's a story that I really love. And that I want to tell. And that I want to reach people. And that I don't want to be limited to a small, niche fandom, because I'm really passionate about the themes and messages in that story.

So I've adapted it as a novel and I'm currently working towards getting it published. Obviously I don't know how this will play out, and I don't know if it's worth shit to agents or publishers. Especially because it does have heavier themes, even if it's overall a lighter story. The two don't always mix, and finding someone willing to take that on is going to be a challenge. "Find an agent/publisher who has published books like yours!" they say. Well. I've got the LGBTQ+ genre down, but beyond that, I PERSONALLY don't know of any books similar to IWBSTS. So, it's been hard, and I've only just written my query letter. I haven't even contacted agents yet. I'm just preparing myself for a wall of 'no's. (As happens in the publishing world!)

So... no, it's not... technically gone forever? If I can't manage to find an agent or independent publisher by the end of 2022/mid-2023, it's going back up on AO3. Which I know is a long wait, and... I genuinely hope that it doesn't even come to pass-- I hope that fic never sees the light of day again, at least not as a fic. But, I'll keep updating here how the agent search goes, and if that goes down the drain, how the independent publisher search goes, and if that goes down the drain, the republishing of IWBSTS on AO3.

If it does get picked up, I promise to let y'all know as soon as possible.

As for not having downloaded it... I know there are a lot of people who did. If you ask around, I'm sure you can find a copy of it somewhere!!

Pairing: Alex/Willie  Words: 4,026  Rating: T  Chapter Warnings: none  Chapter: 2/11  read on AO3 

Summary:  When Alex finally knew he was going to be living on campus, one of the first decisions he made for himself was that he was going to be out.

Pairing: Alex/Willie  Words: 3,515 Rating: T  Warnings: none  Chapter: 1/11  read on AO3 

Summary:  College. University. Higher education. Et cetera, et cetera.

Alex had doubts that he’d ever actually get here, but… he’s here, he did it, he’s moving in.

Last year his parents thought maybe he’d commute since the drive was only about thirty minutes, but Alex… well. It’s not that he didn’t love his parents. He did. They really cared about him. They really wanted good things for him. They really wanted him to be happy and healthy. They just… had different opinions on what would make him happy. And what were good things. And they didn’t care for some of the things that he cared for. Like his music. Or his band. And they really didn’t care for him being—

“Hey, uh, sorry I smashed into you. I’m, uh, Willie.”

—… him being gay.

(*)

a lot of details that i really like in the fic have yet to be seen, and i’ll probably discuss them in the author’s notes as long as i remember to!! however, there are some offscreen details sitting in the back of my head: 

note: spoilers for iwbsts under the read more, just up ‘til chapter four! 

hi ky!! yes!!

1. What inspired you to write the fic this way?

So... I'm not sure how to answer this one, because there are so many different ways "this way" could be interpreted. So I'll briefly touch on each one that I'm thinking of:

With the fate/destiny, the entire fic started out because of The Alchemist quote "So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you." It just. That screams fate/destiny to me. But I also still very much feel we're in control of our own destinies, and that we don't only have one. And we get to choose them. And that was a big part-- that they chose each other. That they will always choose each other. Fate and destiny may have brought them together, but they're the ones who chose to accept one another.

As for the undiagnosed mental health and that entire journey... it's something that I see a lot of people struggle with, and it's something that I think a lot of people down play as well. Not to down play anxiety, but they down play it because they think they're being dramatic. Whether they've been gaslit to believe that, or they're simply a high internal locus of control person who thinks they're always in control of what's going on around them, I wanted to tell a story to show that anxiety isn't just... making things into big deals. It's a chemical reaction in your brain. And I wanted emphasis on that, and the process of being diagnosed after going through life thinking otherwise very much says "fuck you" to the idea of anxiety not being important.

And toxic family... it's something that I wanted to explore. I wanted to give Alex a partial happy ending because I believe in holding on to hope, and I want others to believe in it too.

3. What’s your favorite line of narration?

OH NO. I HAVE- hm wait actually

And Alex can sense the universe reacting around him now—rejoicing for them. He can feel it in the way the breeze swept against his skin and carried Willie's hair to graze against his face, an embrace from the universe. He can hear it in the way it seemed the world around them quieted, pausing in its chaos to allow them their moment. He can smell it in the spring breeze, colorful and earthen, promising new life, promising good things to come, promising a future of warmth. He can taste it in the sweetness of Willie's lips, promising good things to come, rewarding him for his patience and perseverance. He can see it in the specs of light behind his eyelids as the galaxies all came to congratulate him on making it to this moment, on finding one of his destinies and achieving it.

I'm not sure if it's my absolute favorite but it's up there.

11. What do you like best about this fic?