#itswords

sometimes selfcare is getting high and having headmates run a train on eachother with your dildo collection and then getting to have an icecream whilst full of oviposited eggs

feel so deeply broken again recently, like fuck can't process why our friends stick around or that our partners arent just waiting for someone better & more in tune with them to come around while we sit as a placeholder & burden. having flares of being lonely despite having people that so obviously care about us and our emotional response switched from heartwarming to just fear and disgust; that they shouldn't be giving that to us, dont they know we're just a trap for love? that it's wasted on us because we don't know how to reciprocate it; that it feels like we're fundamental broken in that regard; especially if any care gets normalized to us and our brain stops being able to process them as a person. why would any real person endeavor to keep us around it just feels like self-harm on their end; and it feels like no matter how hard i try i wont be able to be Better enough to offset it. im so burnt out and feel a deep rot inside that pushes us to self quarantine in desperation so it doesn't spread.