#itsoktocry

think outside of tha box, because there is no phucKing box. -x-heesy

𝚁𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚡

really? I absofuckinglutely don’t care, Bitchez!

I like that you don't like me (muah)

Jirachi by ITSOKTOCRY <3

(04/30/16) - Dead Broke

𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗹 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗹𝘁𝗵 𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶'𝘃𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗴𝗴𝗹𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗶 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝗽𝗿𝗲-𝘁𝗲𝗲𝗻.

when i was 11, i experienced a major trauma. i felt like i had to stay super strong, because that's just what the media put out. i felt like i had to let on like nothing had happened. i didn't show family or friends how i felt, but behind the curtains i was crumbing. i would bruise my arms and legs, scrape and cut myself, and then conceal them for no one to see. over these same years, i had all of the "normal" teenage drama going on. growing up i had been the perfect golden child of the family, and i still carry that need. i forced myself to look and act the right ways, to get good grades, and to be the happy little girl they all loved. despite all the dedication i put into seeming okay, i still told myself all the ways i was failing, whether they were true or not. it felt like i was constantly the centre of attention, and i couldn't stand having any imperfections show. i went on like that for a long time. it lasted until july 2021. i caved, shit happened, and to spare time and details, the cat was out of the bag. i was sent to a doctors office, and referred to a therapist. there, i was diagnosed with anxiety, mild depression, and level 4+ of childhood trauma.

i worked on myself for the past year. i got better friends, and i'm happier, but nothing is amazing. my trauma is still piling up and i still suffer from anxiety and my need to please everyone. i suffer with body issues and low self esteem. some days i feel okay, some i feel like i want to curl up and cry. but now i know that both of those days are okay.