Complications
I don't know why I'm here again. I don't know why I just can't let him go. Sometimes I feel like, maybe I'll hold on a little bit to see if something good will change. But every time it just keeps getting more and more complicated. He's becoming more and more possessive-- don't talk to this person, block this person, don't wear that... I understand he's muslim and I'm also practicing. But he wants to treat me like I'm a muslim-born woman. I understand that I have to follow Islam but I wish he was more compassionate and understanding to my shortcomings. He sometimes accuses me that I'm seeing somebody. He listens to my calls when somebody calls me. I mean I tell him who texts me, if there are people who follow me on Instagram or anything. It's like... I can never win you know. If I tell him, he gets mad. If I don't, then I'm fucked. Sometimes I don't know what to do. I keep asking him, if he thinks his wife follows all of Islam religiously, then why is he with me? Then all he tells me is that he loves me so much and he wants to protect me and be with me. Sometimes I feel like, maybe if I stay longer I will resent him more. So maybe we should just end things. I know that once I leave him, he will continue meeting other girls and his wife will still be blind to it. But I guess ignorance is a bliss and he won't be my problem anymore. I think if his wife finds out about me, she would thank me for keeping him away from having different women every week. But of course, that's up to Allah.
