Heather Duke: “I know what would be cool! I’ll pose in this window and wait for Veronica! I’ll look fantastic!”

*Ten minutes later*

Heather: “So that’s four students who asked me if I’m okay, and Courtney told me to stay in school. Where the hell is she?”

*Thirty minutes later*

Heather: “Thank God I forged this hall pass, or I’d be in some serious trouble right now. Okay, this pose is starting to hurt my hands and back. But I am committed now!”

*Thirty more minutes later*

A huge part of why the world is fucked up involves misogyny and the patriarchy, and if all women can suddenly do things like throw fireballs or command snakes or whatever that will become a lot harder to maintain.

Heather Chandler did...a lot wrong, but she’s still awesome and I have the weirdest crush I need to examine better probably maybe when I’m sober. Like, I kinda want her to kick me in the face.

I don’t see what the big deal is with the stuff Heather M. is talking about. My mommy does fix me snacks sometimes - and she eats what I cook, and I drink her wine, and she drinks my soda, and definitely when I splurge on something delicious she has some of it.

And the few times my hair’s been braided by my friends has been absolutely glorious, and it’s just a kind thing to do and it qualifies as spending time with them.

To a dragon, any woman who’s fashion is on point is a princess.

The voice in your dreams might be a friend.

The voice in your dreams might not be a friend.

The only way to know for sure if your prince/princess will save you is to survive as long as you can.

Money is completely pointless if unspent.

It’s impossible to make a profit through crafting and reselling unless you take advantage of someone.

Some folks just don’t know the value of what they have.

No one who appreciates the power they have discriminates based on gender, sexuality, or skin color.

You don’t get rewarded for tackling foes that do not challenge you, even if they started it.

A superior who doesn’t recognize or reward your excellence is working for the enemy.

Sometimes you need to say no to get the golden ending.

Some status debuffs are permanent.

When you push someone, they will push back.

Anyone can betray you, but not everyone will.

If there’s someone you like and they like you, go do a thing with them.

Friends are more tactically significant than lovers.

Six is the largest number of people that should do anything together at once.

Your odds of survival go up drastically if you make sure your friends are well equipped for the task at hand.

You are more successful if you’re realistic about what you can and can’t do with your items, skills, and special abilities.

It’s better to know a little about a lot of things than a lot about a few things.

Opposing and overthrowing the unjust is a duty for anyone with power.

Getting through a challenge without making a mistake requires having done it before.

Ultimate cosmic evil is not nearly so scary as that one guy who just will not accept that people should be good to each other.

It’s okay to just leave if your situation is not good for you.

You need to act in order to get what you want.

If a man touches you in a way you don’t want to be touched, it is moral to make him bleed.

Sometimes you need to sacrifice your pride to do the right thing.

The golden outcome of any quest involves letting both sides make their case to you.

Pictured: A yellow lacy hair bow, gift from the group’s Veronica. A yellow Best Friends bracelet, gift from the group’s Heather Chandler. And a bright yellow scrunchie, which I found on my own.

So, Heather McNamara, who I had the honor of cosplaying last weekend.

I adore Heather Mac. I absolutely adore her. She is literally me, and so significant for me personally.

I’m autistic, like she might be, and I often struggle with emotions and come at issues from angles like Rules instead of how people are feeling. I often go into little monologues that are very strange but which are meant as sincere compliments, and I tend to blurt out what’s actually on my mind when I feel comfortable.

You know, like Mac does during Candy Store - Guys pay the check and help you cheat? Really? Even in that song, that’s a bit on the nose.

Like Mac, I’ve been absolutely desperate to be loved and cared for, and like Mac that got me into trouble. Like her, I’ve done some pretty mean things because my friends needed me to, though at heart I’m not that mean. Sassy, yes, but not mean. Like Mac, a couple of times I’ve attached myself to the scariest person I could see in the hope they would protect me, or wound up entangled with someone toxic who I just thought was beautiful.

Like Mac, I’ve struggled with suicide - we float in a boat above a raging black ocean. Social isolation, controlling parents, controlling brother, abusive brother, or neglectful parents and an incredibly toxic school environment involving lots of people seeing you only as a fuck toy, the result is similar.

Of all the characters in Heathers, Mac is my favorite. Hands down, no questions asked. Because I see the most of me in her, even in her darkest moments - and the stuff she’s done that’s not so good I still see bits of me in.

So it was an honor to be her last weekend. It wasn’t just cosplaying at her, so many people recognized the five of us as Heathers + JD that I basically never dropped the character, though we were all a little nicer than our characters actually were.