#itsjamila

 I don’t believe you.

 Your love isn’t real,

or forever,

or true,

or even really from you.

 I’ve become immune to you,

your lies,

your excuses,

and all of your apologies.

 I don’t believe you.

 It’s become a cycle—

almost like a game to me.

A ticking time bomb until

you prove me right.

 Once again, I was wrong.

 How is it that I fall for it every time?

Ignore the signs glaring.

Neon lights burning a hole in my vision.

Complemented with personalized regrets,

singing their swan song.

 Explain to me why pain is better than truth.

Why does love only come out of jealousy,

or the need to protect the mouse

even though she scares the elephant.

 Your love has grown stale.

 Explain to me why thorns have roses.

Why do you bleed without ever being cut?

Does it turn you on,

seeing how you’ve damaged everything good?

 Though you’ve lost faith in me,

I’ve never lost love for you.

But you’ve run through me,

just like destruction following a monsoon.

 My hello can’t stand to greet anymore goodbyes.

And my heart no longer breaks for you,

or what we could have been.

Because you fell for the bait,

even after promising that you wouldn’t.

 There’s no more exceptions left for me to give.

No more words left to massage the wounds.

Just one last question for you—

Was losing all this worth it?

 I’m sorry.

 I wish I still could believe you.