#it_takes_one

Refuge

---

The other drones seemed frozen for but a split second before looking around to each other.  While they had been granted their freedom, still there remained some hesitation and question about what to do now.  Aten waited a moment before one of the drones took a step forward-- He was the oldest member I recalled from my time here, much older than I, and carried a walking stick wherever he went to help with a bad ankle.  Over the years, especially the later years, his condition had worsened to the point of being barely able to climb or run without protest.

<"Not that we are not grateful, but what are we supposed to do?"> he asked.  <"Some of us have been here so long, are in such poor shape, it is not likely we could survive out here on our own as we are.">

Not long after, another stepped forward-- some years older than me, quite scruffy.  I did not recall much of them from before my departure.

<"We are...stuck in a situation with no useful options,"> he said.  <"Surely you have seen the condition of this area?">

And another.

<"There is no food or water around here, nor places to live that are not literally falling apart.  If we stay here, we slowly starve to death.  If we all go our own ways, it is likely at least the worst-off will not make it.">

And one more.

<"...And if we all leave together, we might end up moving so slowly that we would never see the end of the badlands.">

Everyone had some kind of concern, and rightfully so: a lot had happened in such a short time and they had not really much say in the matter.  While freedom was something they longed for, back from the whispered conversations I remember, they had handwaved the possibility of it to such an extent they had not considered the consequences which could follow.  Not to say I could blame them; the idea of a storybook ending for such a bleak existence was a pipedream, and there comes a point where pervasive optimism is...simply insulting.  Many times others snapped at other, usually newer members for being blinded by their fantasies and not seeing the harsh reality for what it is, those newer members perpetuating that same conviction as their spirit slowly crumbled the following months.  The easiest people to control are those without reason to believe anything could be better, and that is exactly what Kyrbri preyed upon.

The atmosphere of gentle relief quickly turned to one of tension, with hushed squabbling between drones and the occasional glance back up to Aten.  Aten still just stood there, arms crossed and looking down toward them, seemingly waiting for some kind of response or verdict.  She had listened to all of their concerns, but she was giving them something they did not have until now: the ability to choose their own futures.

...Something taken so much for granted by those who always had it.  In a way it feels more like a burden than a blessing for those who are only just receiving it.

The commotion carried on for a short while, but the longer it did the more Aten received quick wide-eyed looks.  Maybe they figured she was just going to leave, yet that did not happen.  I heard some remarks about my condition as well, how healthy I appeared and how some of them still remembered me, how I was likely the reason for Aten's arrival and change of regime...how I had not just left and forgot about them after all.

The whispering between them slowly turned again to silence and stares back up to Aten, who had been waiting on them this whole time.  The situation just sort of hung in the air between both parties until Aten finally spoke.

<"I had no plan of leaving on my own.">

The drones collectively cocked their heads.

<"My intention was not to come here, destroy your way of life, then leave you to suffer in a skeleton of a home.  You are free to choose your own futures, whatever those futures may be, and you may do so with whomever-- myself included.">

<"Are you...offering us a place in your colony?"> came the oldest.

Aten responded with only a nod.

<"How...How do we know if we can trust you?"> came another.

The others sulked back a bit, sharing the same concern.

<"That is something you will have to decide for yourself,"> Aten said bluntly.  <"I cannot force you to think or feel any specific way, but I can certainly put forward the invitation.">

For some reason their attention turned to me.

<"Hey, you,"> one pointed up at me.  <"I have seen you before.  You lived here until just a few months ago, right?">

<"You were the escapee!?"> another chimed in as my ears raked back.

<"Did you join her colony?"> someone else asked.

I stepped out from behind Aten to confront them, <"Yes...Yes I did.">

A cacophony of questions proceeded, all asking the same general concerns of 'Is there food?', 'Is there space?', and so on.

<"Yes, there are all the basic necessities,"> I answered.  <"Food is plentiful, as is water and space.  People work together, they help each other.  Everything is...just nothing like how it is here.">

Maybe they could quite literally see that I was not lying, nor had I a reason to try.  I was not as scrawny as I used to be, I was not as jumpy as I once was.  They were piecing together the reason behind my return and I think they were coming to the same conclusion.

<"Let me just reason with all of you for a moment,"> I began.  <"Yes, I was the one who fled a few months ago.  With the conditions here, it was only a matter of time before someone fled, and was actually successful in their attempt.  I was left with the mark of a traitor for leaving, a measure taken to try to ensure I would regret leaving, to ensure nobody else would trust to take me into their colonies.  I was set up to fail, solely out of spite, for my audacity.">

I took a deep breath.

<"After wandering for weeks entirely alone, making my way south through the hills for some kind of cover, I was at probably my lowest point and trying to just stay alive.  Even just the change in scenery was something I could only imagine before, but seeing it for myself was enough to push me to keep going.  Maybe some of you still remember what life was like outside of here, where the terrain is not so barren and unforgiving.  Even then, I resigned myself to a fate of solitude, given how I would likely succumb to the elements before my stinger mended itself and I would be able to join other groups.  After all, that was the fate intended for me to live out for defecting from this...place.">

I had their undivided attention.

<"Late one night I was making some attempt to feed myself when Aten approached me, which made me jump pretty bad and I lost my food in the fire I had set.  I was not entirely sure what to expect, but I was afraid.  Oh, I was very afraid.  I hid my stinger out of sight as quickly as I could, but not fast enough to escape notice.  But you know?">

I sighed.

<"Instead of just leaving me there, or even interrogating me about why I was there in the first place, she cleaned and wrapped up my stinger and invited me to find a place in her colony, since it was nearby.  I took her offer and was treated with food, water, even my own clothing and bed...most importantly, I was treated with kindness, both from the others in the colony and from Aten herself.  The whole time I was just trying to integrate into this new place she was always there to watch over and help when I needed it.  I was offered a chance at something so much better: a chance at care and purpose, at a normal life.">

Silence.

<"...I really do think that had I not taken her offer, not allowed myself to trust her, I would not be here today.  We both ventured here to try to do the same for you.">

They all looked up to me.  Even Aten had turned her head to look to me, looking a bit surprised.

A breeze drifted by, and with it came the oldest one's step forward.

Then another's step forward.  And another's.  Soon everyone had come up to meet us evenly.

<"Do you accept my invitation?"> Aten questioned.

A collective nod.

---

We backtracked our way through the same trail.  Those who needed help to traverse the path were helped, sometimes even carried, to get to where we all needed to go.  Once past the hilliest areas, Aten decided on a detour to continue west instead of immediately going south.  It did not quite occur to me why at the time, but it did once we reached the coast.

It had been so long since any of them had seen the ocean, some probably never had.  The sight of the moon upon the endless sea seemed to melt away what remaining hesitation the others might have still kept.  For the first time in months, they smiled.  Some even climbed down some of the more shallow coast edge to get closer.  It was a sight even I never thought I would get to see until not long ago, and now they could all feel exactly what I felt back then.

As I looked out toward the sea and the starry sky above, I felt Aten's arm reach around my shoulders and rest.

<"You did well, Sagis.">

<"Me?  I did not do anything.">

<"You gave them, all of them, a reason to try," she assured me.  <"Had you not accompanied me I may not have been able to convince them to take my invitation.  You did much more than you realize, and I thank you for it.  I am sure they do, too.">

<"...Do you think they will be alright?  Like, with integrating?">

<"I think so, yes.  You integrated very well with some help and time, I see no reason to doubt their efforts.  Even your eyes have cleared up.">

I grabbed my tail and fidgeted with the cloth around the stinger, thinking back to a few months ago.

<"Do you?"> she asked.

<"...I think so,"> I responded, untying the cloth and revealing a healed stinger.

Some indications of the damage were visible, albeit just barely, but had been reinforced as indicated by a slight ridge around the break line.  I ran my finger down the length of the stinger and again over the break ridge, pausing to absorb the moment.

<"Since we have set off to return home, I have been meaning to ask you something,"> she sighed.

<"Yes?">

<"You said that in Kyrbri's colony, you were all just numbers.  Pardon my curiosity, but do you remember everyone's numbers?  It will make assignments and naming easier when we get home.">

<"Everyone here?  Yes, I think I remember them.  I can write them down for you when we all get home.">

<"...What number were you, if you recall?">

<"...I was One.">

---

I hope you enjoyed this series.

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Bios: Sagis Aten Kyrbri

Liberation

---

Judgment

---

I could only cower in a corner near the corridor as Aten moved faster than anything I had seen before.  Kyrbri had not so much as a chance to react before Aten met her where she stood.  Behind me I could see other drones taking interest in the happenings of the queen's den, some coming up to the doorway to get a better look.  Many looked on in a mix of fear and wonder, trying to determine the chances of either ending up victorious and the consequences thereof.  Many even started watching from the distance of the bridge given the landings were not large enough to accommodate more than a few at a time.

Hushed voices emanated from behind me, whispers of hope and fear.  'Who was this other queen?  Why was she fighting Kyrbri, the only queen who would take them in?  What was at stake?'

'What would happen?'

'What would happen to us?'

As though Aten herself could hear it I felt a sudden gust of wind and a strange pressure build up in the doorway.  The others felt it, too, and while some reached out to try to touch it they found their touch repelled, but by seemingly nothing.  It was like the air itself had grown dense and compressed, separating the two sides.  Was that Aten's doing?

If so, was she keeping them out, or keeping us in?

This whole time the two queens were after each other, Aten revealing a side of her I had never seen, or even imagined existed.  Even then, this was not something I could liken to anger.  Frustration, sure, but not anger.  It was too determined, too calculated, but still so wild...

...Was she grieving?

By now Kyrbri's words were long gone, replaced with angry, animalistic snarls and hisses.  Aten, however, stayed silent.

Silent with each hit, with each blow, bite, kick, everything.

Somehow, in some way, I think Aten's silence hurt Kyrbri as much as the strikes.  Perhaps even more.

The few minutes that passed were some of the longest minutes I have ever experienced as both I and several other drones could only watch on.  Though Kyrbri landed a few hits of her own, Aten proved frighteningly fast and resilient.  With each hit the drones behind me grew quieter and quieter, ultimately falling into wide-eyed silence.

Everything finally came to a head as Aten managed to grab one of Kyrbri's feet, pushing her off-balance and only able to turn and roar.  As Kyrbri twisted and began collapsing onto her side, Aten was there, the light to her back casting a tall shadow over her malevolent kin as her bright green eyes judged the fallen queen.

Those bright green eyes judging her for all of the neglect, the abuse, all of the crimes and wrongdoings...I think, somehow, they pierced through even Kyrbri's own gaze of hatred...

...Because as she fell, her eyes turned to those of fear.

---

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The Other Side

---

The following two days Aten was busier than usual.  I did not think much of it at the time, but did overhear some things about preparing for an absence.  It was difficult to catch her without her being in the middle of something, organizing things, and so on.

One evening I caught a glimpse of a large sheet of paper laid upon one of her tables.  From where I stood, it appeared to be a map, but it was too far for me to discern its purpose.  I even tried to stand more on my toes to see it better, but to no avail.

Not that it mattered, as a rather large presence had quietly made its way toward my direction and loomed over me from behind.  A glance toward the ceiling from what I perceived as movement was met with Aten's stare down at me, eliciting a startled jump from me.  I had been too interested in the map to listen for passersby.

<"I was looking for you,"> she said before I could get a word in.

<"Looking...for me?"> my voice cracked from the slight heart attack I had just sustained.

<"I would like your assistance with something, though it seems you have found it yourself,"> Aten replied, walking slowly past me and into her quarters.  "Please come inside."

I did so, carefully, following Aten to the map-topped table.  It indeed was a map of the local latitudes of Cyavi, marked with colonies, forests, cliffs, and mountains.  Ours could be found along the coast, near a small forest and a series of waterfalls just to the south.  The map itself looked a bit old and faded in some places, but was still well-made nevertheless.

<"As you are probably aware, this map is a bit dated, but you can provide me with some information to better update it,"> she said while taking up a small soft pen and sheet of paper.

<"Such as?"> I asked, one ear cocked to the side.

<"I would like to know where the Kyrbri resides,"> she answered bluntly.

My eyes widened and my ears immediately flattened from the name alone, but the strange request kept my curiosity.

<"Can I ask why?">

<"I would like to pay her colony a visit.">

While those words might normally put me on edge and make me assume the worst intentions, for some reason I just could not get that feeling from her.  Something in her stare as she scanned the map brought on more a feeling of sadness or frustration than contempt.

I sighed, leaned over the table, and pointed to the farthest colony from ours.

<"This one,"> I assured.  <"With how long it took to leave the drylands and make it to the middle cliffs, this is the only possibility.">

<"Thank you, Sagis,"> she said as she scribbled on her piece of paper before laying it out to dry-- a personal map.

<"There is something I do not quite understand, though,"> I started.  <"If you are gone, what will happen to this place?  What of the other drones?">

After a brief pause, she responded

<"...Sagis, can I make something very clear to you?">

I could not quite help but feel as though I had just gotten into some kind of trouble and felt myself shrink away a little, but Aten simply knelt down in front of me and caught my eyes.  I instinctively looked to the floor and braced myself, but her hand gently lifted my chin.  I complied, but hesitantly.

<"By now I think you have seen that this colony is very self-sufficient.  I have raised them to be independent and capable of keeping their own, both my own children and those from elsewhere, should something happen to me somewhere down the line.  I am not the colony, I am part of the colony.  I want them to grow up without fearing the wrath of an angry queen each waking moment, without worrying about their safety, without fear of expulsion over so much as an earnest desire to learn-- they are my family, not my laborers.  I am sorry that I could not give you the life you deserved until now, but I am doing what I can to provide that for your adulthood.  I want you to see, and see very clearly, that not all places are the same, nor are they equal.">

<"...They will be alright?">

<"They will be alright.">

With that she stood up to check her written map, lightly touching the ink to make sure it was dry before rolling it up and stowing it away in some dayclothing.

<"...Can I go with?">

Aten turned her head and looked back toward me.

<"Is that something you actually want?">

<"W-Well...maybe I could help you?  Act as a guide or something?">

<"But is it something you want?">

I grabbed and gently squeezed one arm with my other, diverting my eyes from her to the ground.

<"I owe you a lot,"> I confessed.  <"I want to...at least try to repay those debts.">

<"Sagis, you were never in anyone's debt.">

<"Please...just let me do this.">

The moment to pass hung in the air as I waited for some kind of response.

<"...Very well",> she conceded, turning her attention back toward the large map on the table.  <"We leave tomorrow at sunset, just after the evening meal.  The path we will be taking is lengthy, but provides decent cover and resources should we need it.  It will take about a week to get there.  Is this still something you want to do?">

<"Yes.">

<"Then I suggest retreating to your quarters and making arrangements as necessary-- packing lightly, perhaps even turning in early.">

<"Yes, I will do that... Thank you">

With that I ran back to my quarters to arrange for chore cover, pack some small necessities, and see myself to bed in preparation for the week which would follow.

-

As scheduled, we left the following evening, taking a short stop just north along the coast to take in the sight of the colony grounds from afar on the shallow edges.  The grounds were enveloped in a warm orange glow from the setting sun, bringing a new way to see something which had become routine.  I had not seen the place from that perspective before, but even Aten stopped with me to take in the view of the sparkling sea, steep coastal cliffs, and the proud stone trees erupting from their shallow valley.

We carefully navigated along the path drawn on Aten's small map, taking pointers and food from nearby colonies willing to offer.  We passed through the edge of a dense forest near some lakes, crossed river, and eventually made it to the middle cliffs.  Traversing the cliffs took a while, but provided helpful cover when we slept.  Once we made it to the big river, we crossed it and walked along the banks between it and the cliffs.

Aten was quiet most of the journey, but in a way I was not used to.  Instead of the typical 'contented quiet' it seemed something was bothering her, pushing her to more strict, goal-oriented behaviors.  It was clear to me by now that she knew Kyrbri personally, but would not divulge how or why.  I mean, it was not my business anyway, but I still worried about her.

After a few days since departure, the landscape made way for the drylands-- an arid sweep between the middle cliffs and the eastern mountains, caused by a rain shadow cast by those mountains.  The ground was dry, even cracked in some places, and vegetation as a result was sparse.  The general area was shapeless aside from some low craggy hills and valleys or the very occasional cliffs from shifting earth.  This was the world I tried to leave, yet here I was returning.  Strangely it did not weigh on me like I thought it would, perhaps because I was not returning to live here.  Either way, I accompanied Aten and guided the best I could from memory, finding what flora, fauna, and water I could to sustain us during the last leg of our venture.  Too soon, however, we reached the final plateau just west of our destination.  We took a moment to just look it over in silence until Aten finally spoke.

<"I am not sure what I expected.">

<"Yeah...this is it,"> was all I could muster to say as a chill crept down my spine and I closed my arms.

The more I looked around, the more uncomfortable I became and the tighter I held myself where I stood.  Memories of a past life washed over my eyes the more I looked, the more I noticed the damaged bridges, the split trees, and the piles of stone.  Frayed ropes littered the discarded skeletons of stone trees, some bridges were outright broken and unusable...just like how I remembered.

Hoping for some kind of solace I looked up toward Aten.  She too was taking in the sight laid before her, her expression one of subtle...disappointment, sadness, and disbelief all at the same time.  With a sigh she closed her eyes, lowered her nose, and shook her head.  The contrast between both people and both places was something like night and day.

<"Are we going in?"> I asked.

<"We have to,"> she said quietly shortly before turning to hike down the side of the plateau.

I followed her closely as we both trekked into the shallow valley and over to the ill-kept stone trees.  Upon our arrival, we were halted by surface guards. They were...somehow unsurprisingly accepting of Aten, even offering to hold her clothing so it would not be dirtied by the dust and grit of the trees.  They were a little more rough with me, but respected that I was accompanying Aten and left me well enough alone.  I wonder if they recognized me or not, because they did not make any strange advances, nor did I hear talk from anyone about my presence.

It was not long before we were being escorted across one of the better bridges to the central tree, the same bridge I used to flee this dreadful place.  This time, though, we made it all the way to the end.  The drone guards at the entrance received us, quickly looked us over, then granted our entry as they returned to their positions.

We entered the dark hollow of the queen's tree, taking a brief look around the large empty room.  Our eyes then set on the figure but ten meters from us as it smiled from its chair.

<"It has been a while, Aten.">

---

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Undivided Attention

---

Evening was soon followed by nighttime.  Much of the colony was giving up their clothes and retreating to bed, Aten seeing the smallest members to their respective beds.  She did so individually, but in a different order every night, which the tiny drones appeared to appreciate.  Even with their youthful restlessness they would soon enough be asleep just as well.

After ensuring everyone was where they needed to be, checking on supplies for the next day, and taking care of anything which looked out-of-place, she came to retrieve me from the dining benches.  The both of us walked in silence until we reached her room.

<"Please wait here for just a moment.">

I did so, staying at the doorway while she went inside.  She picked up a small box, took something from inside, and scratched it across the top.  They were matches, I would later find out.  With it she tended an array of candles, illuminating the room with a warm orange glow.  With her foot she gently scooted her bed just a bit closer to the candles, then turned around to face me again.

<"That was all I needed.  You may enter.">

I cocked my head slightly to the side before entering, looking around me to the rest of the room.  Just a change in lighting can make the same place look so different.  When I looked back, Aten had situated herself atop the bed, but had allowed me plenty of space.  I carefully stepped over to the bed and sat on the edge.  Though this was something I requested, I did not really know how to begin.  Even with my awkward silence, she simply waited.

<"Aten, sorry, I...I am not sure how to start.">

<"I do not need apologies.  If something is difficult for you, please take the time you need.  I am not going anywhere.">

A minute passed, though it felt like an hour.  I took a deep breath and searched for the words I needed.

<"...I-I come from a place...far north of here.">

Aten stayed silent, waiting for me to continue.

<"There is...a colony around there.  The north.  Northeast?  I...">

She remained silent, but curled her tail around the base of the bed, just a short distance from my toes, rest it on the floor.  Perhaps her way of letting me know she is still listening.

I sighed and leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees and raising my hands to my face and just stared at the floor.  I pulled back my fingers, raking my claws through my fur, tugging my ears before continuing to my upper neck and finishing the motion.

<"We were just numbers.">

Aten's shadow upon the floor shifted slightly to look more directly toward me.  Still she was silent.

<"All of us, just numbers.  Order of birth...I assume, anyway.  Sometimes drones just kept nicknames for themselves or others, but...not always.">

Her tail drew barely closer, resting at my toes.

<"We were to work, and only work.  We had to find our own food, but keep it away from others if we wanted to keep it, or be clever enough to find ways to hide it.  Many of us turned to little more than bone and resorted to stealing from those who could better hunt or had more luck.  While that fed you, it also turned those against you, so fighting was...rampant.  ...Even then, much of the food we gathered had to be given up to our leader, along with anything else of value we might find.  The most you were allowed to keep was a square of cloth to keep you from freezing at night.">

I took another deep breath.  I could feel my eyes welling up from just my own words.

<"We were only allowed the most basic literacy.  We were not allowed to learn, not allowed to think about life elsewhere.  Any talk of leaving, should the enforcers catch wind...you were lucky if they just dealt with you themselves-- you would hurt a lot, you might bleed, but you would be alive at the end of it...  There were certainly worse fates.">

A silence befell the room as I just sat there holding my head.

<"I am still listening,"> Aten said quietly.

<"...I wanted to learn.">

I raised my head to look up at the ceiling, to look at how the warm orange played with the cool dark blue of night upon the wood stone.

<"I had always been trouble, at least according to them, and try as they might even they could not always watch me.  One afternoon I...I managed to elude their attention to talk with a passing merchant group and quickly trade away everything I had with me-- food scraps, some useful plants, some pressed paper and bits of glass, everything but the blanket I kept...for a small book.  I used the blanket to conceal it and run back up into the trees.  I am not even sure it was a fair trade, or if they just entertained it out of pity.  Though it was hard and very slow, I managed to figure out the alphabet and their sounds, eventually making letters into words with meanings from the little helpful images.  The words were small and basic, but I was still learning...at least in secret.">

<"I am still here.">

<"...The depictions of seas, of forests, rivers, and flowers...they made me wonder about life outside.  Fish, bugs, birds, little mammals and lizards, a world so separate from mine only because of laws.  Everything I had come to know was hot, dull, dry...oppressive.  But I could not let on to anything I was learning, anything I had done over those few months.  I had to plan something, anything to get out of there and the more I learned, the more I longed for anything but home.">

<"'Home?'">

<"...I guess it was not really a home, was it?  I found that more and more true each passing day.  Eventually I just...I just could not take being there anymore.  Something had to change.  I needed to go, but also needed to avoid the watchful eyes of our leader's enforcers.  They were, um, very good at their jobs, or else they, too, had to live like us numbers.">

<"They lived differently?">

<"Y-Yes...  They were given food rations, better care in general...even real names.  There was always competition to become part of their ranks, since then you were...validated...you were a person instead of a peon.  It was ironic that, in order to become a person, you had to shed your humanity.">

I let out a little chuckle.

<"I got caught.">

I laughed again.

<"I was beaten by enforcers and dragged to the central tree to face our leader, but by some kind of dumb luck, one of the enforcers stumbled just before the end of the bridge and his grip loosened.  I spun as hard as I could, barely freeing myself from their grasp, and ran like I never knew I could.  Before I reached the other end of the bridge I turned my head around only for a split second to catch the unmistakable gaze of our leader from the dark central hollow.  Something about those eyes...were not normal.">

From the look of her shadow, her ears seemed to perk from the last detail.

<"Knowing there would just be more enforcers coming for me from the endpoint tree, I leapt onto the tree itself, finding any grip I could to scramble down to the surface world...though when I did finally meet ground I was jumped by three other enforcers I had not accounted for.  They pinned me to the ground, facing me upwards as our leader slowly walked to the middle of the bridge just above, staring daggers at me I could still feel from afar.  The only gesture I could make out from that far was a nod, after which the third enforcer grabbed my tail, drew their dull blade, and smashed the end of my stinger.">

<"You were a traitor,"> she put bluntly.

<"I guess I was.  While that branding did not hurt, it still brought with it a pain no gash or bruise could compete: Instead of just doing away with me there as I was, they wanted me to suffer, knowing both that I was not yet mature enough to produce the venom needed to make the stinger truly useful and that no other colony would accept me...thinking that I would succumb to the elements, perhaps even to corruptions, long before the damage could heal.  They also made off with the book I treasured above even food...I think I heard them say they were going to burn it before one of them physically kicked me away from the base of the tree.  Even with that possibility looming over me, I fled south, fled to the book's promises, as fast as I could.">

<"Did you find them?">

<"Yes, I did, after a couple days.  The sky seemed so much bluer, the grass was greener, and I saw all the spoils previously locked so tightly away.  I saw the blue sea, the murky lakes, the little leafy bushes and the taller, leafier trees.  I saw the great stone cliffs, the tiny colorful flowers, and all kinds of fauna I had never seen before...or if I had seen them, not in the same way.  The farther south I went, the more there was to find.  ...The farther south I went, the more conscious I became of my being out alone, the more I worried that running away was a poor choice.  While my surroundings were now so amazing, if I was to succumb to them in only a few weeks, would it have really been worth all the pain and trouble to get there?">

<"Did you find your answer?">

I looked around the room once more, then to my tail, the stinger still wrapped in purple cloth.

<"...I think I did.">

A few moments of silence allowed us both a short time to reflect.

<"What was the book?"> Aten asked.  <"I am quite curious to know what would provoke that kind of response.">

I clenched my fingers and toes, bracing myself for the worst.

<"It was a primer...for learning faraden.">

<"Faraden?">

<"...Yes."> I uttered, my ears flattening.

<"You can understand faraden?">

<"Well...not completely.  It was just a primer, so mostly pictures and solitary words, syllables, and some simple sentences.  I can still remember most of them."

<"Can you teach me?">

My eyes shot wide and I quickly turned my head toward her in baffled confusion.

<"Can you teach me what you remember?">

<"I...I could do that, but--">

<"Sagis.">

<"Ahhyes?">

Aten stood up, stretched and walked around to the front of the bed, gently pulling and leaning me into the fur on the side of her leg, slowly stroking my face and chin with her big hands.

<"You were a traitor to oppression, not to those worth the respect they dared to demand.">

With that she left briefly to gather some supplies from a cabinet at the far wall-- some paper, a reed pen, and a small bottle of ink.  She handed me these things when she returned to the bed, but I was still taken aback by the request.

<"Please come up by me and show me what you remember,"> she insisted.

I took up the supplies and did so, drawing letters, writing words, and making the sounds to accompany them and what they meant.  She listened intently, learning what I learned, and it made me happy.  It was a happiness in a way that was like eating a favorite food or hearing a favorite tune, yet so unlike it.  Fullfilment, maybe?

An hour passed, but so quickly unlike the moments leading up to then.  Both of us were quite tired and ready to turn in for the night, so I hopped off the bed and placed the writings and tools on a small table before making my way to the door.

<"Sagis?"> Aten called.

<"Yes?"> I answered, stopping just before the doorway.

<"What was the name of your colony 'leader?'">

I turned my head to see her still atop the bed, waiting.

<"Kyrbri.">

Aten's eyes widened slightly upon hearing the name, then closed with a furrowed brow and a frustrated-sounding exhale.

<"Thank you, Sagis.  Sleep well.">

---

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One-Eighty

---

<"I do ask that you turn around for a moment, however.">

<"What?  Why?">

<"Do not think I did not see the tail you so quickly hid.">

<"Ah, that, well, I can explain...">

<"There is no need.  I know what it means.">

A fast pang of panic led to a sheepish cower.

<"Sorry, sorry--">

<"I require you turn around so I may better examine the break.">

I quickly spun around without a second thought, now facing away from her.  I freely admit I was terrified to show my back to one so imposing, but surely this was better than the possible alternatives. The familiar sound of one tearing fabric and the strange sensation of someone carefully grasping my tail soon followed.  I sat there as still as I could, braced for all the terrible things that could happen.

But none did.

<"Pardon me for doubting you could have done anything to warrant such a symbol.">

A broken stinger was a symbol of treason widely recognized across colonies.  If caught with one, the chance of finding another home was slim to none until the material regenerated, and even then your previous home would never take you back.  With the state of the world at large, it was the loss of possibly our most valued means of defense minus weaponry...even then, the venom is not produced until adulthood.  Breaking mine was performed solely out of spite, an unnecessary stretch given my venom glands are not yet functional.

This kind of encounter was among the last I could have expected.  Trusting a stranger in this condition, especially a queen, would be a fitting end indeed.

Shallow breaths, tight muscles, fast pulse.  A minute felt like an hour.

<"That is all.  This should at least help alleviate some of your anxiety.">

I felt the gentle release of my tail and the quiet shuffle of the queen coming back to her feet.  By impulse I brought my tail into view to see what had been done.

The stinger was wrapped in a shred of soft purple cloth, covering the damage.

<"Like skin, it regenerates best when kept clean.">

I turned to face her, but could not find any words.  My eyes jumped to the new tear in her shawl, undoubtedly where this piece once resided.  She had bent down to scoop two huge handfuls of soil and top my fire with it, effectively snuffing it out.

<"Wait, what are you doing?">

<"I cannot allow you to remain out here, alone, and in your condition.  Even then, you dropped your food in the fire and it is...no longer edible.">

A quick glance down agreed with her words, as my long-sought dinner was now just black remains.  The hole in my stomach protested, confusion and panic came with it.

<"I do not understand.  Who are you?  Why are you helping me?">

<"I wonder about you as well when basic acts of kindness are such a novelty.">

I froze.  'Basic acts of kindness'?

<"To answer your questions, I am but a citizen of this world.  I help you because you are, too.">

My look of confusion seemed to reassure her previous statement.

<"Do you think people find themselves in your situation by accident?">

<"My situation?">

<"What may be unclear now will make itself known and understood in due time.  You just have to see it to that time.  Should you allow me to, I will help.">

An outstretched hand made its way toward me.

Well...I guess this was it.  I reached up with mine and nested it in hers, hers closing gently but tightly around mine as I lifted myself off the log.  I think that only then had I realized just how tired and sore I was.

<"We go north from here, over to those stone trees,"> nodding to some not far from the grove.

I nodded, but could not help but feel some hesitation.

<"You are free to tell me about your life and experiences whenever you feel most comfortable, in private.  I would like to know-- what is your name?">

<"...Sagis.  Um...y-yours?">

<"Aten.">

---

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Please consider supporting me on Patreon if you like my work: https://www.patreon.com/ratte I also take ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/ratteart

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Fitting In

---

Morning found its way to the colony, bringing a gentle breeze and sunshine along with it.  Some muffled noises from some other room woke me, though I jumped upon seeing where I was: covered up in a large bed, in an even larger room of a massive stone tree.  My eyes darted around the room as I reached for the blanket, uncovering myself to find the torn purple cloth around my stinger.

I stopped, and for a moment, so did the world around me.  It had not been just a dream?

I was alive?  Safe, even?

...Because of a queen?

The sounds from the other rooms slowly trickled back into my ears-- clanking of dishes, some soft voices, the light thud of small feet.  The more I came to, the more I could sense.

Light aromas of fruit and honey, savory scents of some kinds of meat.  My curiosity got the better of me; before I knew it I was up on my feet and slowly, quietly making my way toward the source of all the sounds and smells.  I poked my head around the final corridor just enough to see what lie beyond.

Several drones, many very young, were sitting around several long tables.  Each had his own little plate with whatever he wanted from the larger dishes in the middle of the table.  Other drones, probably near my age, scooted around the tables to serve the smallest ones while helping some others pick up utensils to serve their own food to their plates.  As it was still early most of them made an effort to stay hushed as to not wake others still asleep in the nearby rooms.

Before I could really determine how I felt about this whole scene I heard a low voice.  Around the other hallways someone could be heard walking to other rooms and waking those who still slept, those waking answering in yawns and grunts from stretching.  Around the other side stepped Aten.

Wait, was she the one waking them?

Aten took a moment to look over everyone currently eating, though I am not quite sure why.  Was she examining them?  Either way, some of them looked back up toward Aten and started squeaking rather happily.  Aten looked at them and gave a slight smile, but raised her finger to her snout to remind them it was still early and some are still trying to sleep.  Some of the small drones mimicked Aten's gesture, eliciting a soft chuckle from the older helper drones as they took emptied plates to the backroom.  When some of the young drones hopped off the benches Aten stepped in to carry away the used dishes on a small tray.  I could hear water splashing and dishes getting bumped and moved around after each time Aten or a helper re-entered the back room.

The more I witnessed, the more puzzled I became.

After a few minutes of bussing the tables, some of the older small drones were given wet rags as a helper carried a couple buckets of water.  The small drones helped wash down the surface of the tables with the helper's guidance, and upon finishing their chore the small drones put their used rags in the water bucket and went on their way with the younger ones to some other room.  The helper quickly returned the bucket to the back room, returning once more with a dry cloth, and wiped down each table before vanishing once again into the back room.  I shuffled over to the corridor, careful not to make much noise, and peered around the wall.

It was the kitchen.  Several helper drones scurried around, some washing dishes and others putting them away into their cabinets.  Some came up and down a ladder carrying food, presumably for later.  Aten herself helped carry the larger or more awkward things before closing in on the corridor near me, something in hand.  I panicked and dashed to hide around the far corner, but still watched what I could.

She stood just before the exit, turned back around toward the room.  All I could see was her tail, stinger raised well above anyone's head.  Before too long, she began to speak:

<"I would like you all to know that we have a guest in our colony.">

The news led to a decline of their noise.  I could feel my ears flatten and my grip on the wall tighten.

<"I took him into our home late last night.  His name is Sagis.  He is still young and wears a wrap of cloth around his stinger due to an injury.  Should you interact with him, I ask you please allow him your utmost patience and understanding.  I have a feeling he is not used to this kind of...atmosphere.">

<"'Atmosphere?'"> asked a helper.

<"He is easily startled and quick to apologize, showing hesitation when interacting with others.  I can only assume he comes from a place of tension and simply has not experienced anything else.  Now, I am not sure he plans to stay here, but please help see to it that he is treated as though he has.  I am sure he will fit in just fine in due time.">

With that, she turned once more and left the room.  I followed distantly behind her as I tried to process all I had heard.  She returned to her room and left once more, going down the rest of the hallway as other helpers grew more active and spread from their sleeping rooms.  Some tiny squeaks could be heard in the distance as I turned back into Aten's room.  By the bed was a plate with some fresh cut fruit and small pieces of fish.  By the plate was a parchment note with 'Sagis' written on it, so I guess this food was for me.  I slowly, cautiously ate everything on the plate over the next several minutes, mulling over the events of this morning and trying to piece together how to feel.

Was it acceptable for me to be here?  Why would it be?

Was this normal?  Was any of this normal?

Was I going to be alright?

Before I could protest, I fell back onto the bed and drifted back into sleep.

-

I stayed by myself most of my waking hours come the following days, Aten offering all the patience she could, when she could, while still gently urging and reinforcing my integration with the rest of the colony.  Apparently that morning really was their 'normal' despite being so alien to me.  The more I observed, the more I came to appreciate this strange new place, and the more I admired Aten and her peculiar brand of rule.

...The worse I felt about keeping her in the dark about why I was here.

Each passing day led to less time alone and more time stumbling through interactions with the others, though I seemed to get better each time.  I was given my own space in the nearby rooms like other helpers.  The rooms were a bit small, but most helpers only occupied them for sleeping and dressing in the mornings anyway.

The more I learned, the more I tried to offer my help where I could-- I hated to feel as though I offered nothing while living here.  I fished, foraged, made deliveries, even bussed tables with those helpers from the first morning.  Before too long I had the general layout of the colony trees down, including locations of the more important hubs like the shops and school, the most efficient paths of travel, and so on.  I grew familiar with specific drones and their taken roles, even their personalities.

I was well fed every day.  Those helping in the kitchen even took note of my preferences over time as they did with other drones my age, ensuring there was always something I liked each mealtime.

Before I knew it, a day became a month and a half.  My stinger was almost completely recovered from the break and my venom glands had activated.  My teeth stopped hurting.  I cowered less.  I no longer jumped whenever I heard or saw Aten, though I was still quick to startle with sudden movements or noise.  The redness in my eyes was almost gone.  Though nobody seemed bothered by its presence, it was a relief to see that it was disappearing.

I just...

I just felt so much better...in every way.

...I could not just keep her in the dark.

-

Late in the week I was helping to pick up the last remaining dishes from the last meal of the day.  Aten had already started making her way back to the kitchen as I grabbed the last couple bowls on the far ends of the tables, carefully quickening my pace to meet her just before she could enter the other room.

<"Ah, thank you, Sagis,"> Aten said as she turned to receive them.  <"You have been very helpful during your stay.  We do very much appreciate it.">

Before she could take the bowls, I had to say something.

<"Um, Aten?">

<"Hm?">

<"...Could I, um, talk with you tonight?">

She paused for a moment and turned just enough to look at me.  I think she could tell what I meant from my expression alone.

"Of course."

---

Please consider supporting me on Patreon if you like my work: https://www.patreon.com/ratte

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The more I can get per month, the more time I can dedicate to making work like this.

To finally see the outside world...

To experience the cliffsides under the moonlight...

This was why I ran away.

...Wasn't it?

Beneath the great sky, the seemingly endless land...

All the splendor no book or story could provide...

The loneliness and regret of my decision always caught up with me, following me like my own shadow...

...But there was no going back.

...Never before had I felt so small.

---

A public full-size detail shot for the first panel of Red Queen.  I liked it a lot, so I thought it would be worth sharing.  As you can see, it's a lot bigger than the comic page shows.