#cyavi

Taking Notes - https://www.patreon.com/posts/125258559

Thinking of a little cyavian drone naturalist who explores places far from home and documents his findings for when he plans to return.

I wanted to make more pixel art but wasn't sure what to do, so I thought I'd take a stab at a pixel landscape.  It's been about four years since I last made anything like this and it wasn't quite this complex.  Cyavi is a neat region with extreme longitude so there's a lot of variation in things like flora, the north and south being more temperate while the middle is much more dry and scrubby, especially to the east the closer one gets to a mountain range.  I thought it would be nice to show some of the more lush flora of the north, plus it would let me work with a lot of green-- a color I don't often use.

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Refuge

---

The other drones seemed frozen for but a split second before looking around to each other.  While they had been granted their freedom, still there remained some hesitation and question about what to do now.  Aten waited a moment before one of the drones took a step forward-- He was the oldest member I recalled from my time here, much older than I, and carried a walking stick wherever he went to help with a bad ankle.  Over the years, especially the later years, his condition had worsened to the point of being barely able to climb or run without protest.

<"Not that we are not grateful, but what are we supposed to do?"> he asked.  <"Some of us have been here so long, are in such poor shape, it is not likely we could survive out here on our own as we are.">

Not long after, another stepped forward-- some years older than me, quite scruffy.  I did not recall much of them from before my departure.

<"We are...stuck in a situation with no useful options,"> he said.  <"Surely you have seen the condition of this area?">

And another.

<"There is no food or water around here, nor places to live that are not literally falling apart.  If we stay here, we slowly starve to death.  If we all go our own ways, it is likely at least the worst-off will not make it.">

And one more.

<"...And if we all leave together, we might end up moving so slowly that we would never see the end of the badlands.">

Everyone had some kind of concern, and rightfully so: a lot had happened in such a short time and they had not really much say in the matter.  While freedom was something they longed for, back from the whispered conversations I remember, they had handwaved the possibility of it to such an extent they had not considered the consequences which could follow.  Not to say I could blame them; the idea of a storybook ending for such a bleak existence was a pipedream, and there comes a point where pervasive optimism is...simply insulting.  Many times others snapped at other, usually newer members for being blinded by their fantasies and not seeing the harsh reality for what it is, those newer members perpetuating that same conviction as their spirit slowly crumbled the following months.  The easiest people to control are those without reason to believe anything could be better, and that is exactly what Kyrbri preyed upon.

The atmosphere of gentle relief quickly turned to one of tension, with hushed squabbling between drones and the occasional glance back up to Aten.  Aten still just stood there, arms crossed and looking down toward them, seemingly waiting for some kind of response or verdict.  She had listened to all of their concerns, but she was giving them something they did not have until now: the ability to choose their own futures.

...Something taken so much for granted by those who always had it.  In a way it feels more like a burden than a blessing for those who are only just receiving it.

The commotion carried on for a short while, but the longer it did the more Aten received quick wide-eyed looks.  Maybe they figured she was just going to leave, yet that did not happen.  I heard some remarks about my condition as well, how healthy I appeared and how some of them still remembered me, how I was likely the reason for Aten's arrival and change of regime...how I had not just left and forgot about them after all.

The whispering between them slowly turned again to silence and stares back up to Aten, who had been waiting on them this whole time.  The situation just sort of hung in the air between both parties until Aten finally spoke.

<"I had no plan of leaving on my own.">

The drones collectively cocked their heads.

<"My intention was not to come here, destroy your way of life, then leave you to suffer in a skeleton of a home.  You are free to choose your own futures, whatever those futures may be, and you may do so with whomever-- myself included.">

<"Are you...offering us a place in your colony?"> came the oldest.

Aten responded with only a nod.

<"How...How do we know if we can trust you?"> came another.

The others sulked back a bit, sharing the same concern.

<"That is something you will have to decide for yourself,"> Aten said bluntly.  <"I cannot force you to think or feel any specific way, but I can certainly put forward the invitation.">

For some reason their attention turned to me.

<"Hey, you,"> one pointed up at me.  <"I have seen you before.  You lived here until just a few months ago, right?">

<"You were the escapee!?"> another chimed in as my ears raked back.

<"Did you join her colony?"> someone else asked.

I stepped out from behind Aten to confront them, <"Yes...Yes I did.">

A cacophony of questions proceeded, all asking the same general concerns of 'Is there food?', 'Is there space?', and so on.

<"Yes, there are all the basic necessities,"> I answered.  <"Food is plentiful, as is water and space.  People work together, they help each other.  Everything is...just nothing like how it is here.">

Maybe they could quite literally see that I was not lying, nor had I a reason to try.  I was not as scrawny as I used to be, I was not as jumpy as I once was.  They were piecing together the reason behind my return and I think they were coming to the same conclusion.

<"Let me just reason with all of you for a moment,"> I began.  <"Yes, I was the one who fled a few months ago.  With the conditions here, it was only a matter of time before someone fled, and was actually successful in their attempt.  I was left with the mark of a traitor for leaving, a measure taken to try to ensure I would regret leaving, to ensure nobody else would trust to take me into their colonies.  I was set up to fail, solely out of spite, for my audacity.">

I took a deep breath.

<"After wandering for weeks entirely alone, making my way south through the hills for some kind of cover, I was at probably my lowest point and trying to just stay alive.  Even just the change in scenery was something I could only imagine before, but seeing it for myself was enough to push me to keep going.  Maybe some of you still remember what life was like outside of here, where the terrain is not so barren and unforgiving.  Even then, I resigned myself to a fate of solitude, given how I would likely succumb to the elements before my stinger mended itself and I would be able to join other groups.  After all, that was the fate intended for me to live out for defecting from this...place.">

I had their undivided attention.

<"Late one night I was making some attempt to feed myself when Aten approached me, which made me jump pretty bad and I lost my food in the fire I had set.  I was not entirely sure what to expect, but I was afraid.  Oh, I was very afraid.  I hid my stinger out of sight as quickly as I could, but not fast enough to escape notice.  But you know?">

I sighed.

<"Instead of just leaving me there, or even interrogating me about why I was there in the first place, she cleaned and wrapped up my stinger and invited me to find a place in her colony, since it was nearby.  I took her offer and was treated with food, water, even my own clothing and bed...most importantly, I was treated with kindness, both from the others in the colony and from Aten herself.  The whole time I was just trying to integrate into this new place she was always there to watch over and help when I needed it.  I was offered a chance at something so much better: a chance at care and purpose, at a normal life.">

Silence.

<"...I really do think that had I not taken her offer, not allowed myself to trust her, I would not be here today.  We both ventured here to try to do the same for you.">

They all looked up to me.  Even Aten had turned her head to look to me, looking a bit surprised.

A breeze drifted by, and with it came the oldest one's step forward.

Then another's step forward.  And another's.  Soon everyone had come up to meet us evenly.

<"Do you accept my invitation?"> Aten questioned.

A collective nod.

---

We backtracked our way through the same trail.  Those who needed help to traverse the path were helped, sometimes even carried, to get to where we all needed to go.  Once past the hilliest areas, Aten decided on a detour to continue west instead of immediately going south.  It did not quite occur to me why at the time, but it did once we reached the coast.

It had been so long since any of them had seen the ocean, some probably never had.  The sight of the moon upon the endless sea seemed to melt away what remaining hesitation the others might have still kept.  For the first time in months, they smiled.  Some even climbed down some of the more shallow coast edge to get closer.  It was a sight even I never thought I would get to see until not long ago, and now they could all feel exactly what I felt back then.

As I looked out toward the sea and the starry sky above, I felt Aten's arm reach around my shoulders and rest.

<"You did well, Sagis.">

<"Me?  I did not do anything.">

<"You gave them, all of them, a reason to try," she assured me.  <"Had you not accompanied me I may not have been able to convince them to take my invitation.  You did much more than you realize, and I thank you for it.  I am sure they do, too.">

<"...Do you think they will be alright?  Like, with integrating?">

<"I think so, yes.  You integrated very well with some help and time, I see no reason to doubt their efforts.  Even your eyes have cleared up.">

I grabbed my tail and fidgeted with the cloth around the stinger, thinking back to a few months ago.

<"Do you?"> she asked.

<"...I think so,"> I responded, untying the cloth and revealing a healed stinger.

Some indications of the damage were visible, albeit just barely, but had been reinforced as indicated by a slight ridge around the break line.  I ran my finger down the length of the stinger and again over the break ridge, pausing to absorb the moment.

<"Since we have set off to return home, I have been meaning to ask you something,"> she sighed.

<"Yes?">

<"You said that in Kyrbri's colony, you were all just numbers.  Pardon my curiosity, but do you remember everyone's numbers?  It will make assignments and naming easier when we get home.">

<"Everyone here?  Yes, I think I remember them.  I can write them down for you when we all get home.">

<"...What number were you, if you recall?">

<"...I was One.">

---

I hope you enjoyed this series.

Please consider supporting me on Patreon if you like my work: https://www.patreon.com/ratte I also take ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/ratteart Patrons can access an alt version here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/refuge-alt-16959457

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Bios: Sagis Aten Kyrbri

Liberation

---

Judgment

---

I could only cower in a corner near the corridor as Aten moved faster than anything I had seen before.  Kyrbri had not so much as a chance to react before Aten met her where she stood.  Behind me I could see other drones taking interest in the happenings of the queen's den, some coming up to the doorway to get a better look.  Many looked on in a mix of fear and wonder, trying to determine the chances of either ending up victorious and the consequences thereof.  Many even started watching from the distance of the bridge given the landings were not large enough to accommodate more than a few at a time.

Hushed voices emanated from behind me, whispers of hope and fear.  'Who was this other queen?  Why was she fighting Kyrbri, the only queen who would take them in?  What was at stake?'

'What would happen?'

'What would happen to us?'

As though Aten herself could hear it I felt a sudden gust of wind and a strange pressure build up in the doorway.  The others felt it, too, and while some reached out to try to touch it they found their touch repelled, but by seemingly nothing.  It was like the air itself had grown dense and compressed, separating the two sides.  Was that Aten's doing?

If so, was she keeping them out, or keeping us in?

This whole time the two queens were after each other, Aten revealing a side of her I had never seen, or even imagined existed.  Even then, this was not something I could liken to anger.  Frustration, sure, but not anger.  It was too determined, too calculated, but still so wild...

...Was she grieving?

By now Kyrbri's words were long gone, replaced with angry, animalistic snarls and hisses.  Aten, however, stayed silent.

Silent with each hit, with each blow, bite, kick, everything.

Somehow, in some way, I think Aten's silence hurt Kyrbri as much as the strikes.  Perhaps even more.

The few minutes that passed were some of the longest minutes I have ever experienced as both I and several other drones could only watch on.  Though Kyrbri landed a few hits of her own, Aten proved frighteningly fast and resilient.  With each hit the drones behind me grew quieter and quieter, ultimately falling into wide-eyed silence.

Everything finally came to a head as Aten managed to grab one of Kyrbri's feet, pushing her off-balance and only able to turn and roar.  As Kyrbri twisted and began collapsing onto her side, Aten was there, the light to her back casting a tall shadow over her malevolent kin as her bright green eyes judged the fallen queen.

Those bright green eyes judging her for all of the neglect, the abuse, all of the crimes and wrongdoings...I think, somehow, they pierced through even Kyrbri's own gaze of hatred...

...Because as she fell, her eyes turned to those of fear.

---

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The Other Side

---

The following two days Aten was busier than usual.  I did not think much of it at the time, but did overhear some things about preparing for an absence.  It was difficult to catch her without her being in the middle of something, organizing things, and so on.

One evening I caught a glimpse of a large sheet of paper laid upon one of her tables.  From where I stood, it appeared to be a map, but it was too far for me to discern its purpose.  I even tried to stand more on my toes to see it better, but to no avail.

Not that it mattered, as a rather large presence had quietly made its way toward my direction and loomed over me from behind.  A glance toward the ceiling from what I perceived as movement was met with Aten's stare down at me, eliciting a startled jump from me.  I had been too interested in the map to listen for passersby.

<"I was looking for you,"> she said before I could get a word in.

<"Looking...for me?"> my voice cracked from the slight heart attack I had just sustained.

<"I would like your assistance with something, though it seems you have found it yourself,"> Aten replied, walking slowly past me and into her quarters.  "Please come inside."

I did so, carefully, following Aten to the map-topped table.  It indeed was a map of the local latitudes of Cyavi, marked with colonies, forests, cliffs, and mountains.  Ours could be found along the coast, near a small forest and a series of waterfalls just to the south.  The map itself looked a bit old and faded in some places, but was still well-made nevertheless.

<"As you are probably aware, this map is a bit dated, but you can provide me with some information to better update it,"> she said while taking up a small soft pen and sheet of paper.

<"Such as?"> I asked, one ear cocked to the side.

<"I would like to know where the Kyrbri resides,"> she answered bluntly.

My eyes widened and my ears immediately flattened from the name alone, but the strange request kept my curiosity.

<"Can I ask why?">

<"I would like to pay her colony a visit.">

While those words might normally put me on edge and make me assume the worst intentions, for some reason I just could not get that feeling from her.  Something in her stare as she scanned the map brought on more a feeling of sadness or frustration than contempt.

I sighed, leaned over the table, and pointed to the farthest colony from ours.

<"This one,"> I assured.  <"With how long it took to leave the drylands and make it to the middle cliffs, this is the only possibility.">

<"Thank you, Sagis,"> she said as she scribbled on her piece of paper before laying it out to dry-- a personal map.

<"There is something I do not quite understand, though,"> I started.  <"If you are gone, what will happen to this place?  What of the other drones?">

After a brief pause, she responded

<"...Sagis, can I make something very clear to you?">

I could not quite help but feel as though I had just gotten into some kind of trouble and felt myself shrink away a little, but Aten simply knelt down in front of me and caught my eyes.  I instinctively looked to the floor and braced myself, but her hand gently lifted my chin.  I complied, but hesitantly.

<"By now I think you have seen that this colony is very self-sufficient.  I have raised them to be independent and capable of keeping their own, both my own children and those from elsewhere, should something happen to me somewhere down the line.  I am not the colony, I am part of the colony.  I want them to grow up without fearing the wrath of an angry queen each waking moment, without worrying about their safety, without fear of expulsion over so much as an earnest desire to learn-- they are my family, not my laborers.  I am sorry that I could not give you the life you deserved until now, but I am doing what I can to provide that for your adulthood.  I want you to see, and see very clearly, that not all places are the same, nor are they equal.">

<"...They will be alright?">

<"They will be alright.">

With that she stood up to check her written map, lightly touching the ink to make sure it was dry before rolling it up and stowing it away in some dayclothing.

<"...Can I go with?">

Aten turned her head and looked back toward me.

<"Is that something you actually want?">

<"W-Well...maybe I could help you?  Act as a guide or something?">

<"But is it something you want?">

I grabbed and gently squeezed one arm with my other, diverting my eyes from her to the ground.

<"I owe you a lot,"> I confessed.  <"I want to...at least try to repay those debts.">

<"Sagis, you were never in anyone's debt.">

<"Please...just let me do this.">

The moment to pass hung in the air as I waited for some kind of response.

<"...Very well",> she conceded, turning her attention back toward the large map on the table.  <"We leave tomorrow at sunset, just after the evening meal.  The path we will be taking is lengthy, but provides decent cover and resources should we need it.  It will take about a week to get there.  Is this still something you want to do?">

<"Yes.">

<"Then I suggest retreating to your quarters and making arrangements as necessary-- packing lightly, perhaps even turning in early.">

<"Yes, I will do that... Thank you">

With that I ran back to my quarters to arrange for chore cover, pack some small necessities, and see myself to bed in preparation for the week which would follow.

-

As scheduled, we left the following evening, taking a short stop just north along the coast to take in the sight of the colony grounds from afar on the shallow edges.  The grounds were enveloped in a warm orange glow from the setting sun, bringing a new way to see something which had become routine.  I had not seen the place from that perspective before, but even Aten stopped with me to take in the view of the sparkling sea, steep coastal cliffs, and the proud stone trees erupting from their shallow valley.

We carefully navigated along the path drawn on Aten's small map, taking pointers and food from nearby colonies willing to offer.  We passed through the edge of a dense forest near some lakes, crossed river, and eventually made it to the middle cliffs.  Traversing the cliffs took a while, but provided helpful cover when we slept.  Once we made it to the big river, we crossed it and walked along the banks between it and the cliffs.

Aten was quiet most of the journey, but in a way I was not used to.  Instead of the typical 'contented quiet' it seemed something was bothering her, pushing her to more strict, goal-oriented behaviors.  It was clear to me by now that she knew Kyrbri personally, but would not divulge how or why.  I mean, it was not my business anyway, but I still worried about her.

After a few days since departure, the landscape made way for the drylands-- an arid sweep between the middle cliffs and the eastern mountains, caused by a rain shadow cast by those mountains.  The ground was dry, even cracked in some places, and vegetation as a result was sparse.  The general area was shapeless aside from some low craggy hills and valleys or the very occasional cliffs from shifting earth.  This was the world I tried to leave, yet here I was returning.  Strangely it did not weigh on me like I thought it would, perhaps because I was not returning to live here.  Either way, I accompanied Aten and guided the best I could from memory, finding what flora, fauna, and water I could to sustain us during the last leg of our venture.  Too soon, however, we reached the final plateau just west of our destination.  We took a moment to just look it over in silence until Aten finally spoke.

<"I am not sure what I expected.">

<"Yeah...this is it,"> was all I could muster to say as a chill crept down my spine and I closed my arms.

The more I looked around, the more uncomfortable I became and the tighter I held myself where I stood.  Memories of a past life washed over my eyes the more I looked, the more I noticed the damaged bridges, the split trees, and the piles of stone.  Frayed ropes littered the discarded skeletons of stone trees, some bridges were outright broken and unusable...just like how I remembered.

Hoping for some kind of solace I looked up toward Aten.  She too was taking in the sight laid before her, her expression one of subtle...disappointment, sadness, and disbelief all at the same time.  With a sigh she closed her eyes, lowered her nose, and shook her head.  The contrast between both people and both places was something like night and day.

<"Are we going in?"> I asked.

<"We have to,"> she said quietly shortly before turning to hike down the side of the plateau.

I followed her closely as we both trekked into the shallow valley and over to the ill-kept stone trees.  Upon our arrival, we were halted by surface guards. They were...somehow unsurprisingly accepting of Aten, even offering to hold her clothing so it would not be dirtied by the dust and grit of the trees.  They were a little more rough with me, but respected that I was accompanying Aten and left me well enough alone.  I wonder if they recognized me or not, because they did not make any strange advances, nor did I hear talk from anyone about my presence.

It was not long before we were being escorted across one of the better bridges to the central tree, the same bridge I used to flee this dreadful place.  This time, though, we made it all the way to the end.  The drone guards at the entrance received us, quickly looked us over, then granted our entry as they returned to their positions.

We entered the dark hollow of the queen's tree, taking a brief look around the large empty room.  Our eyes then set on the figure but ten meters from us as it smiled from its chair.

<"It has been a while, Aten.">

---

Please consider supporting me on Patreon if you like my work: https://www.patreon.com/ratte

I also take ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/ratteart

The more I can get per month, the more time I can dedicate to making work like this.

To finally see the outside world...

To experience the cliffsides under the moonlight...

This was why I ran away.

...Wasn't it?

Beneath the great sky, the seemingly endless land...

All the splendor no book or story could provide...

The loneliness and regret of my decision always caught up with me, following me like my own shadow...

...But there was no going back.

...Never before had I felt so small.

---

A public full-size detail shot for the first panel of Red Queen.  I liked it a lot, so I thought it would be worth sharing.  As you can see, it's a lot bigger than the comic page shows.

"<You were not the first, you will not be the last. Your story may not be unique, but it is precious, just like you.>"

---

Much larger version can be found on my Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/red-queen-15364122