“I will make you apologize to Azeyma.”

   futaba’s done something to your coffee. you don’t even need to look at her ( probably expectant ) expression to know this; the moment you’d gotten up to use the washroom and left it unattended, futaba was going to pounce– and if she didn’t get your coffee, she’d get you some other way. 

   you’re admittedly a little disappointed that she’d stoop to sabotaging your life support drink of choice, though. one would think a phantom thief – and shut-in neet with the entire internet at her disposal – would do better. be more creative. she’d had all day to set something up while you were at school… 

   nonetheless, you sit down. pick up your cup. look the girl right in the eye, and down the cursed liquid. and yep– it’s as you expected. the coffee’s been tainted. it takes all of your willpower not to grimace as you swallow it down. it’s not nearly spicy enough to bother you, but god does chili sauce and coffee mix poorly… you’re going to have to wash this down with another cup afterwards.

“Honey, sweetums, loveydovey wuvey……..you know I absolutely have no idea what kinda Kalosian that is-” Shakey laughter. IS HIS CHARM WORKING? “Cutie patootie, sugar bear, I-It’s just fanfiction…! Ididntevenwriteit!!”

“Not now,” she growls, low and quiet at first, then with a shrill, wounded edge. “Stop it, you--! Infuriating man! I don’t want to hear it...!”

He doesn’t get it, does he? He isn’t taking her seriously at all!